The Dukes of Hazzard (1979–1985): Season 2, Episode 19 - Jude Emery - full transcript

On The Dukes of Hazzard:

Hazzard County's had its ups
and its downs.

But ain't nothing like
when Jude Emery comes to town.

We got a rattlesnake here in the front.

Don't let him back here. There ain't room.

I hear y'all are looking for hot drivers.

Follow me.

After them!

Y'all are all crazy.

Welcome again to Hazzard County.

Hazzard is a pleasant little spot...



where several Southern states
come together.

That's all I'm allowed to tell you
'cause everybody would want to go there.

But its location is how come
a very unusual character showed up...

named Jude Emery.

That ain't Jude. That's Deputy Enos.

Of course, neither one of them is Jude.
They're the Duke bays.

And that ain't Jude.
That's Sheriff Grady Byrd.

But hang on.
Old Jude will be along directly.

You got it. That's Jude.

You'd better step on it, Bo.
Them siren's creeping up on us.

If we can get this in under a minute
and a half, we'll make a new record.

Here, you take it.

All right.

Howdy.



Did you lose a horse or find a saddle?

Neither. My pickup truck broke down.

I didn't want to leave the saddle
in the back.

-Door lock's broke.
-Need a lift?

I'd be much obliged.

In the window.

Sounds just like Merle Haggard, don't he?

All right, hit it, coz.

-Thank you for the lift.
-Don't mention it.

Looks like you had to stop in mid-chase
to do it.

Just 'cause we're being chased
by the County Sheriff...

ain't no reason not to be neighborly.

You wanna tell me what you did
so I can start worrying?

Nope.

There's another road up ahead.
Let's confuse them.

Well, at least we've cut them down to half.

You can let me out
anywhere along in here. It'll be fine.

Stranger, this might ruin your whole day.

You ain't the only people
that know this county.

I used to do my courting right here.

-Here?
-Everybody, out.

-Hey, Luke.
-Hey, Enos.

Hands on top of the car. You, too, boy.

-What's your name?
-Jude Emery.

-Sheriff, he's got a bulge.
-A bulge?

Put them hands up.

-I'm just--
-Hush! You're in trouble.

-I just--
-Hush.

You're in trouble with me
and Hazzard County, that's what you are.

See, Sheriff, I told you he had a bulge.

Now, you got a permit for that, boy?

-As a matter of fact--
-Hush!

As for you Duke boys consorting
with this scroungy-looking dude...

with a gun and a guitar...

Well, everybody is going to jail.

Jude, welcome to Hazzard County.

And this here weirdo vagrant
was packing a .38 special.

-But I got a--
-Hush up.

And a guitar.

-Is that a crime?
-Depends on how you play it.

And that ain't all.

Luke Duke was armed
with a Barlow pocket knife.

Grady, that there knife
couldn't out cold grits.

Well, that don't matter.
That is still a lethal weapon.

I got them, Boss.

Sheriff, he's got another bulge here.

Excuse me.

Well, I bet you
this ain't filled with no rabbit tobacco.

Bet you it's filled with...

a badge. A badge?

See, I told you he had another bulge.

Sgt. Jude Emery...

Texas Ranger.

Congratulations, Sheriff.
You just arrested the fuzz.

Grady.

Enos, why didn't you tell me
about that bulge first?

A Texas Ranger.

Well, why didn't you say something?

I tried to, hoss,
but you kept yelling, "Hush."

What are you doing
coming through these parts, Mr. Ranger?

Just call me Jude.

I'll show you.

Sure beats packing a suitcase, don't it?

Here you are.

"Wanted: Russell 'Snake' Harmon
for hijacking and running contraband."

Yep. I've tracked him
from Texas to Hazzard.

-Russell "Snake" Harmon. Who's that?
-Never heard of him.

He's here all right.

Back in Texas, old Snake had a group
called the Road Gang.

A bunch of lead-foots who'd drive
anything anywhere for the right price.

That Snake Harmon.

Yeah, we busted the gang,
but old Snake slipped away.

-And you think he came here?
-Yeah, I'm sure of it.

Word is that Snake has come south
so he can recruit a new Road Gang...

using moonshine runners
and outlaw race drivers.

Well, we ain't heard nothing.

Nice try, though.

He picked Hazzard
'cause it was centrally located.

We even know where he's holed up.

While those extradition papers
are being processed...

I'm gonna go pick him up.

-Where is he?
-A place called Yuchee Swamp.

Well, Mr. Emery,
saying "a place called Yuchee Swamp"...

is like saying
"somewhere in the Amazon jungle."

-That big?
-That bad.

There are a lot of dirt roads down there
that don't lead nowhere.

A stranger going in there trying to find
anything is bound to get lost.

Especially with all that quicksand.

Duke family used to run
a lot of moonshine through there.

Seems to me,
we never got caught in Yuchee Swamp.

Sounds like you boys know the lay of it
pretty good.

Yes, sir, we do.

How'd you two like to be my guides
while I try to find old Snake?

That is, if I can talk the Sheriff here
into letting you go.

-Let them go?
-So I don't press charges for false arrest.

Let them go.

Mr. Emery, Jude...

-you got yourself a couple of guides.
-Partner.

Mr. Ranger, I guess
you'll be needing some help on this case.

I've always admired
to be a Texas Ranger, Mr. Jude...

but we ain't got any here in Hazzard.

Of course we ain't got any
here in Hazzard, Enos.

This ain't Texas.

Now, boys, you realize it's kind of hard
to become a Ranger.

-There ain't but 94 Rangers in--
-For all of Texas?

In all the 50 states.

We go anywhere we got a warrant.

I'd sure like to apologize
for arresting you...

-but when I found that gun on you--
-Forget it.

This old gun don't work anyway.

I only carry it
'cause the rules say I have to.

The way I figure
is that if the gun don't work...

I have to come up with something
where people don't get hurt.

Especially me. Keeps me on my toes.

You know, Mr. Emery...

you ain't exactly how I picture
a Texas Ranger.

Yeah, a lot of folks say that.

But just 'cause I cut it a little differently,
don't mean I can't cut it.

If you'll get started
on those extradition papers...

me and the boys here
are going to go Snake hunting.

Sheriff, you better make some extra room
in that jail of yours.

There's about a half dozen of them
in the gang.

Well, how're you gonna get
the whole gang?

One gang, one Ranger.

Y'all take care.

He's something else, ain't he?

That's him. Jude Emery, just like I figured.

He sure don't look like much, Snake.

Yeah, but he sticks like molasses.

That boy has been dogging me
for two years.

Every time I settle somewhere,
I put a little watch on the courthouse...

'cause I know he's got to get them
extradition papers.

-Who's that with him?
-The Duke boys.

I've raced against them on dirt.
Strictly amateur hot dogs.

Sounds like they beat you.

-They local Hazzard boys?
-Yeah, ex-moonshine drivers.

What do you reckon
Jude's doing with them?

He's probably using them
to scout the area, looking for me.

Old Jude is strange, but he ain't dumb.

What do you say
we recruit them Hazzard boys?

Snake, them boys
ain't nothing but trouble.

We're looking for hot drivers.

What if they're working with Jude?

Then it'll be the perfect way
to keep track of him.

We let them think they've joined the gang,
and if things get tough...

we'll hold them as insurance
against Jude playing policeman.

Now he's here,
I feel a lot safer in the swamp. Let's go.

Wait a minute.

He usually works alone, but he might
pull the local Sheriff in on this one.

-What's he like?
-Don't worry.

Wait till you meet that guy.

Grady, if a man don't rule, he dies.

Now, Boss,
them's another one of your hard sayings.

Yes, sir. Grow or die, Grady.

And I've got growing pains, I can tell you.

On account I got dreams.

Dreams of getting bigger...

growing richer, giving more orders.

By controlling Snake's Road Gang
and running all that contraband...

that could be a giant step.

-It's the American dream, Boss.
-Yeah, that's it. American dream.

Boss, that Snake is good as got.

I mean, I'm gonna go
into that Yuchee swamp myself...

and track him down for you.

Grady, you couldn't catch a catfish
in a coffee cup.

The only way you're gonna catch Snake...

is by following them Duke boys
and that guitar-picking ranger...

and grab Snake before he does.

-Get me?
-Gotcha!

That will burn them up, Boss.

You know, in all my years
of running shine...

I never was chased by a Texas Ranger.

And had I ever been caught...

I would have been proud...
Here, have a hot one.

...if it had been a Texas Ranger.

Me, too.

Jude, how do you figure old Snake knows
his way around Yuchee Swamp, anyhow?

With all the recruiting
he's been doing locally...

probably somebody in the gang
knows about it.

Well, now, when you come across him...

ain't that gang of his
gonna give you a lot of trouble?

Once I get the drop on Snake,
they'll probably stay cool.

They haven't done anything.
Snake's the one I'm after.

Sounds like a simple enough plan.

Yeah, it's about the only kind
I ever come up with.

I'm just kind of edgy including you boys.

You ain't never caught him
by yourself in two years...

and now you got Luke and me to help.

Yeah, and if you, me, and Bo
can't handle it, we've got help.

Who, the Sheriff?

The Sheriff?

No, us Dukes.

The family.

Well, I do appreciate that.
And I'm gonna need your help.

-But not Daisy.
-Why not?

Well, Snake Harmon ain't exactly
John Dillinger, but he is dangerous.

And back in Texas,
we might work a woman to death...

but we don't expose them to danger.

I see. Why do you call him Snake?

Come on, sir.

What's the matter?

I know what the matter is.

I asked you not to feed Elmer
and you fed him.

I said you could feed Cleo.
I asked you not to feed Elmer.

I'm sorry, Snake,
but sometimes I can't tell them apart.

Elmer is the boy.

It ain't that easy, Snake.

Darn, if you ain't the dumbest.

I wanted him hungry.

He gets lazy when he eats.

Hey, Elmer.

That's my boy. Come on.

I got a job for you to do.

Well, now we know
why they call him Snake.

Friends, this is gonna be a zinger.

Cowboy, I don't see how in the heck...

you made it all the way here from Texas
in that thing.

I had the wind behind me.

-She's got a lot of miles on her, ain't she?
-Oh, yeah.

She's an old Korean War surplus.

But she has got more character
than any horse I ever rode.

Jude, if you got this here truck, then
why do you carry that saddle with you?

If you were driving in this thing...

wouldn't you want
to have a backup system?

I reckon we could use a backup system
in helping us find old Snake.

We could drive around
looking for him in that swamp...

till you're ready to retire.

Me and Bo think it might be
a better idea to let Snake find us.

Now why would he wanna do that?

He said he's looking for moonshine
runners and race car drivers, didn't he?

Now how would he react if word got out...

the Duke boys
were coming out of retirement?

I don't know how he'd react...

but your Uncle Jesse
would skin y'all alive...

if you get the Federals on your tail again.

Well, look here, Patch.

If it ain't the chicken Dukes.

-You heard of them, ain't you?
-Nope.

No? They got
scared out of driving whiskey.

Now they mostly hang around racetracks,
hoping to be mistook for real drivers.

Well, Willie, when did you get out of jail?

He had to go to jail, Bo.

It was the only way
he could get to see his mama.

How come y'all ain't home
chopping cotton?

Last time you drove on a racetrack,
you nearly got a ticket for illegal parking.

Now, Willie, wasn't that the time
that you got in front of me...

and I had to kind of push you off
and you went into the pits?

I'd like to see you try that with him.

Meet Patch Loving.

He's been barred
from every track in the country.

Yeah, I've heard of you.

I didn't know
they piled dirty driving that high.

You ain't heard nothing like it is.

I'm looking for driving talent for an old boy
that's trying to put something together.

You two ain't much, but you interested?

Okay, what you got, Willie?

I ain't got nothing
unless you can really cut it.

If you wanna talk about it some more...

meet me at the old coffin factory
early tomorrow morning.

It'll take you that long to find it.

Catch you in church.

Do you believe it?

We're sitting here talking about it
and they slide right into our laps.

With that kind of luck,
you boys ought to be gamblers...

-or lawmen.
-Enough.

We're just lucky enough just being Dukes.

They went for it.

-Here.
-Gracias.

-Here you are, cousin.
-Thank you.

Hey, y'all, Duke the man is here.

-Here you go.
-Thank you, cousin.

-Cold beer?
-Thank you, honey.

Boys, I don't see why
I have to ride in the car anyway.

If we was back in Texas,
I'd follow you in another car--

Now, look, you ain't back in Texas,
you're in Hazzard.

You get yourself lost
in that Yuchee Swamp...

you ain't gonna be able to find your butt
with both hands.

What Luke and me figured we'll do is
we'll start a fight.

-We're real good at starting fights.
-You got that right.

Anyways, we ought to be able
to get their attention...

so you can slip out of the car
and nab old Snake.

You see, you sure as heck don't want
to get caught in the back of this thing.

Okay, you boys get me the Snake
any way you can.

Hey, Cooter.

Make room for my guitar.

Guitar.

Climb on back in here,
and I'll cut out some more space.

Now, them Dukes is up to no good.

Just as sure as a hog loves turnips.

But don't worry, Boss.
I'm bringing Snake in...

just as soon as I get me a car.

-Where's your Sheriff's car?
-Well, Cooter is fixing it.

Well, then use your personal car,
stone head.

Well, I...

-What's that?
-I ain't got one.

-Well, how do you get to work?
-Well, I thumb. I hitchhike everyplace.

Grady, you can't follow
them Duke boys hitchhiking.

You're right, they might spot me.

Of course, it would be real slick
if they gave me a ride.

You'd still lose them.

-I could borrow your car.
-Sure, white hood, horns and all.

That leaves my mama's car.

Your mama's car?

Of course, if I get one little dent in it...

she'll be chewing my tail
till Gabriel's trumpet.

Grady, you've got no idea
what a comfort it is...

just knowing you're Sheriff around here.

That night, while the boys and Center was
working on putting the plan together...

Daisy and Jude... We", you'll see.

You sure sing pretty for a cowboy, Jude.

The guitar sounds a whole lot better
without the socks in it.

-Want some more peach pie?
-No, thanks.

You know, lady,
your cooking is downright scary.

Is that good or bad?

When a beautiful woman can also cook,
it's good.

And that's bad.

-I still want to go with you tomorrow.
-No.

I don't want to be distracted
worrying about you.

Worried about me.

Worried about me?
I can probably out drive and out shoot you.

That's probably true.

I'm a bad driver, my gun don't work,
and you still ain't going.

Anybody who'd bet on that
would bet against the next sunrise.

Good night.

And a little after sunrise...

things were really humming
down at the Hazzard garage.

-All set back there, Jude?
-Let her rip.

If y'all figure Daisy's gonna sit out
just for Jude...

you're wrong.

-Cooter, it works.
-Of course it works.

Works better than I thought it would.

Don't think we're gonna have any trouble
following them at all.

-I've got something to show you.
-Let's go, honey.

Never bet against Daisy
when she makes her mind up.

Although, Jude didn't know
that Daisy was in on the party.

I promise you
I'm gonna take good care of it.

-You just do me one favor.
-Yeah?

-You keep this thing between the ditches.
-You got it, honey.

Mother dog!

"Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practice to deceive!"

Man, that's obtuse.

Yeah, I figured old Grady was about due.

And ain't mama's car something?

Now, I want y'all
to watch some slick shucking.

Now you see Luke.

And now you don't.

Luke, I told you, Willie will be looking
the wrong way again.

No wonder he can't handle it
when a car's on his tail.

Ain't them boys slick?

I'd invite you to have a beer,
but it would lower my social standing.

You'd have to go
all the way to hell to do that.

Well, I ain't proud. I'll drink with anybody.

Say, where's your boss?

You won't meet him
unless you pass the test.

-Where's Patch?
-He's the test.

Patch is somewhere on South 104,
waiting for you.

If I was you,
I wouldn't keep him waiting long.

It might make him ornerier than he is.

Thanks, anyway. Catch you later.

That depends on Patch.

Now, the boys and Jude didn't any more
than get out of Willie's sight...

when they were
immediately followed by...

Willie, who wanted to watch
the Dukes against Patch.

And all of them were followed
by the intrepid Grady in his mama's car...

who was followed by Daisy.

Y'all following this?

Daisy didn't know that the car
she was following was Grady.

She thought he was one of the gang.

And I'll just be dogged if another car
didn't start tailing Bo and Luke.

Guess who?

Yeah, that's the man.

So far I don't see nothing of Patch's test.
Seems like a little kiddy game to me.

-You all right back there, Jude?
-What's going on?

Ain't nothing. Just Patch
playing a little bumper tag, that's all.

Right.

Old Grady was having so much fun
watching the game...

that he didn't even notice
Daisy was on his tail.

Since Daisy didn't know
it was Grady that was in front of her...

she thought the odds were three to one
against Bo and Luke.

You reckon the General's back bumper
is gonna stay up?

I don't know.
Sounds like we picked up a new rattle.

Bo, don't move. Just listen to me.
Look down by the brake pedal.

Now, don't move.

I ain't gonna move,
but I'm fixing to make a new door here.

There's the test. He keeps
bumping and jarring us like that...

it's bound to rattle that snake.
He's gonna strike.

How would you like to be in a car
with a rattlesnake...

and all the doors welded shut?

-What're we gonna do?
-What's going on?

We got a rattlesnake here in the front.

Don't let him back here. There ain't room.

-You're thinking, ain't you?
-Oh, yeah.

They like mice.

Do you have one on you?

There ain't room for a mouse, either.

Well, think faster.

I got it. Just don't move.

-Be careful.
-Don't move, coz. Just keep her steady.

-Don't let Patch hit us no more.
-I won't.

Okay, stay real steady, cousin.
I don't want to lose you now.

Now cover his head, Luke.

Hit the brakes!

Everything's okay, Jude.

No, it ain't, 'cause dawn the road,
Daisy had decided to even the odds...

by taking out one of the enemy...

not knowing it was poor old Grady
who wasn't about to hurt his mama's car.

Old Willie didn't know who they were,
but they sure weren't on his side.

Grady Byrd, I didn't know it was you.

Now look at the scratch
you put on my mama's car.

Daisy Duke...

don't you recognize a disguise
when you see one?

I'm sorry, Grady Byrd.

Hey, Patch, how did we do?

Sonny boy,
I'm gonna stomp you into mush.

Patch!

-Where's Elmer?
-Who?

Elmer, the rattlesnake.

He threw him at me.

You lost Elmer? You let him lose Elmer?

I never cared much for Elmer.
He's always slithering around.

He ain't got much to say.

He's got beady eyes.
They're not even a pretty color.

Snake Harmon is gonna kill us.

Let's get out of here.
A few cars were following us.

-Who were they?
-Beats me.

But Jude must have been driving one
'cause they run each other off the road.

-Let's go.
-You mean we passed?

Oh, yeah.

You passed all right.

-All right.
-Hot dog!

Grady Byrd...

if you don't get Snake Harmon
before that Ranger does...

I'm gonna have your ugly hide
nailed to my den wall...

and your miserable bones
ground into fertilizer for my tomatoes.

That ain't nothing
compared to what my mama's gonna do...

when she finds that scratch on her car.

All because I was so certain...

that between you and that Ranger,
I'd control Snake Harmon's gang...

I went and contacted the syndicate boys.

And now...

I've got a contract to move contraband,
and no Snake Harmon.

And you couldn't catch him...

if you was both wearing
the same pair of pants.

I remember once
I got one little dent on her car...

she wouldn't let me out of the house
for a week.

Grady!

My head is on the line to that syndicate.

Excuse me, Sheriff,
but these fugitive posters just came in.

Enos, go paper the men's room with them.

Can't you see Boss is busy
chewing me out?

Grady Byrd, the chances
of you finding Snake Harmon by yourself...

rank right up there
with Daisy Duke being the next Pope.

That's funny, Mr. Hogg,
'cause Daisy's a Methodist.

Sheriff, the light bulb is burned out
in the men's room.

It'll be awfully hard
to read the posters in there.

Enos, I'll hang them up myself. I'll just...

-Oh, my goodness.
-What's the matter?

"Wanted Russell 'Snake' Harmon."

He's the one that Ranger is after.

And Coy Randolph and Patch Loring.

"For armed robbery, felonious assault,
suspected homicide.

"Believed to be
part of the Snake Harmon gang."

Enos, you know what this means?

Yes, it means
them boys are flat in trouble.

It means Jude, Luke, and Bo aren't dealing
with a bunch of good old ridge runners.

These are real dangerous felons.

Grady Byrd...

you've got about as much gall
as a tub full of pig spleens.

Finish tightening that up.
Get out of the way.

You'd sell your soul...

to swill at Boss Hogg's table
and come to us for help.

You've got to swallow your stubbornness
and listen to me.

You think Bo and Luke have gone off
to help capture some Texas lead-foot?

Look. Patch Loring, Coy Randolph...

wanted for armed robbery
and suspected homicide...

believed to be part
of the Snake Harmon gang.

Now, these just ain't good old boys
out to have some fun.

Bo, Luke, and Jude,
they don't know what they're getting into.

-They look like a lot of fun.
-Don't they, though.

-How many are there?
-I don't know. I can't count that high.

We gotta come up with something
to throw them off guard.

-We could start a fight.
-Right, they'd never expect that.

I'm Snake Harmon.

Howdy.

You must be the Hazzard hot dogs.

You've heard of us.

Get out, plowboy.

-I'm too young to die.
-Yes, sir.

I hear you boys had a little trouble
with Patch here.

Patch?

No, Patch was no trouble at all.

If you're gonna test us,
you gotta find somebody who can cut it.

We'd really like to stay
and fight with your boys here...

but I don't think any of them
can handle us.

Leastwise not this
overgrown has-been cretin.

Russell "Snake" Harmon.

I arrest you in violation
of the Texas Criminal Code, Section--

Hey, Jude. I figured
you were around here somewhere.

Good old fight, huh?

-I said I arrest you in violation of--
-Listen, are those your boys?

-Yeah.
-That one's a little slow.

He needs to work on his left hook,
don't he?

Yeah, he sure do.

I'd better break this up.

All right, boys, break it up.

Stop! All right, break it up, boys!

Stop it right there.

All right, now, break it up.
I said, break it up!

Get over there, Luke.

Yeah, you done real good.

All right, now, you boys just stay cool.

Y'all boys ain't broke no laws.
Snake here's the one I'm after.

Y'all just stay cool and stay out of trouble.

Oh, come on now, Jude.
You ain't really gonna arrest me, are you?

I didn't track you all the way from Texas
for your dazzling conversation.

You ain't arresting nobody, cowboy.
Drop it.

Okay, hoss.
But you're making a big mistake.

It's your mistake, Jude.
That there's Coy Randolph.

You remember? You sent him to prison.

-Is that you, Coy?
-Hey, Jude.

I didn't recognize you
under all them whiskers.

I swore when you sent me up,
I wasn't gonna shave till I got you.

Looks like I'm fixing to shave.

Don't shave them off for me, Coy.

It gives you character.
Covers up all that ugly.

Oh, shucks, Jude.

We've been on to you
since you hit Hazzard.

Boys, tie up Jude
so he can stay out of trouble.

This one's mine,
and I don't want nobody in the way.

Wait, Patch. I got a better idea.

You think
you can take this boy arm wrestling?

-Texas style?
-What's that?

You ain't gonna like it, hoss.

Time up.

Now, in case you think those
are just little cactus spines, plowboy...

let me educate you.

Those are called "blood brothers."

The red you see dripping,
that's pure poison.

Once they make a puncture,
they just never heal.

Going through life
with an armful of those...

would just be a living hell.

Give us some air.

-Y'all ready?
-Yep.

You all set? Go.

Come on, Luke.

Turn it on, Patch.

Don't go to the barn now, Pa.

There ain't no telling
how this will come out.

What's going on?

Be ready for a little
Duke shucking and jiving.

I hear y'all are looking for hot drivers.

Well, you can stop looking.

You want to let me know
what's happening?

Stay loose, Jude.

Thanks. That clears it right up.

I'll tell you one thing right now.
I ain't driving with no woman.

You ain't telling nobody nothing.
I'm running this rig.

But we don't know nothing about her.
What if she's working with the Dukes?

And what if she is?

I got plenty more snakes.

Test her. Make her drive against Patch.

Shoot. That ain't no test.
Have her arm-wrestle him.

Holy creep.

Knock that off.

-Cut him loose.
-Yes, sir.

That's good.

Plowboy...

you been doing all the talking
while your buddy here does all the driving.

Now it's just you and me.

Ain't nobody driving against nobody
until me and him settles this.

Yeah? What you got in mind, Patch?

Head-on chicken.
Down on the bridge. No turns.

Chicken?

Snake, you should've never kidnapped
that big overgrown kid out of sixth grade.

-Too tough for you?
-Too tough? It's too stupid.

Look, if you got any driving skill at all...

we're gonna match
jumping cars across that creek gully.

-At night?
-First light, then. Crack of dawn.

I finally got it figured out.

Y'all are all crazy.

Well, how about it, Patch?

-You can even use Annie's car.
-My car?

My car.

Okay, plowboy, you're on.

I got an idea. Listen.
Since it's between you and Patch...

why don't Snake and I
make this more interesting?

Like a little side bet or something?

I know. We let you two go
if Luke makes it and Patch don't.

No, not exactly.

See, what I had in mind was, just for fun,
that you and me ride shotgun with them.

What's the matter, Snake?
Don't you trust Patch?

Well, I trust Luke.

-It's a deal then, right?
-Yeah.

So at first light,
engines were cranked for the big jump.

Come on, Patch. Show that plowboy.

Easy, son.

One move
and I'm gonna string you up like a hog.

Y'all pay real close attention,
'cause we're about to play musical chairs.

Now, sonny, when I say jump, you git.

Otherwise you're gonna be known
all over Hazzard County...

as the fella who lost his head in a race.

Now!

Follow me.

I'll just be dogged if Jesse and Center
weren't hid in Daisy's car...

the same way they hid old Jude
in General Lee.

Now I didn't figure on that.

Darling, if you're always
this full of surprises...

your social life must be something else.

How did you do that?

I've been free for about 30 minutes.

I just wasn't about to miss
what y'all had cooking.

Some cowboy, Jude.

-Hang on.
-Go for it.

Looks like old Grady and the law
were in on the Dukes' plan, too.

Now, that's a switch.

Everybody, out!

Hands on the cars.

Here we go, one Snake all tied up
for Ranger Emery.

Okay, Jesse,
I'll take charge of the prisoner now.

Hold on a second.
Old Snake here is Jude's prisoner.

I've got other plans for Snake.

On account of he ain't been extradited yet
from my county.

Namely, Hazzard.

Something around here stinks.

Boys.

After them!

Get in!

Come on, get in.

Come on, y'all get in!

Jude, get me out of here!
These folks are crazy!

-Wait till you kiss one of them.
-Here comes Grady.

You reckon the hardware you bolted on
will get us across?

Yes. Ain't but one way to find out.

Drop it right there!

Okay, Enos, cuff them,
and don't forget to read them their rights.

Yes, sir.

Grady! Come on, get in here.

We gotta go get Snake Harmon.
We're gonna lose him.

-Now! Come on!
-I'm coming.

Leave them small fry behind!

Don't waste your time on this small fry.

Come on, let's go!

We got some real nice pictures
of you boys in our restroom.

You want to go take some more?

Okay, Luke, now give it all you've got.

There ain't another road out there.
We got them now.

-And if they can get lost, you'll lose them.
-Right.

Don't agree with me!

-Here, take my hand.
-No, I don't want your hand!

Here. Watch it, Boss.

Snake Harmon, you're under arrest.

Hold on there, hoss. That's my prisoner.

-Not in my county, it ain't.
-That's right, Mr. Ranger.

Grady is the duly constituted law
here in Hazzard County.

What little there is of it.

You'd be right, Boss,
if this was Hazzard County.

Then what is it?

No matter how dry Hazzard Creek is,
it's still the county line.

What?

I'm coming.

This is Placid County. I ain't sheriff here.

You ain't hardly sheriff anywhere.

Excuse me, Sheriff.

-Well, Snake?
-Hey, Jude.

Looks like you're all mine.

I've come right in, Sheriff. Excuse me.

And that's the legend
of how the Dukes helped capture...

the notorious Snake Harmon...

and Bass had some tall explaining to do
about contraband deliveries.

Grady and Enos got two wanted men,”

and Daisy...

Do me a favor
and don't promise to come back.

You don't want me to come back?

Come back.
Just don't make me any promises.

Honey...

I better get moving...

I'm gonna forget all about Texas.

And Daisy got a little hooked
on a stranger passing through...

a stranger named Jude Emery.