The Duchess of Duke Street (1976–1977): Season 2, Episode 3 - A Lesson in Manners - full transcript

Thank you, Prince.

Good morning.

There's Captain
Brayne's dinner party.

Mrs. Trotter will be preparing

the paupiettes
herself, so we must get

everything else
ready in good time.

Lord Branchester
wants his partridges

for his dinner tomorrow.

Take them out to
the larder, Ethel,

and hang them up, will you?

And Mrs. Covenden just arrived.



Is Tom Prince with her?

I expect so. He usually is.

Is he?

Yes, of course he is.

Did you get his
room ready, Violet?

Did it this morning.

Ethel nipped up afterwards

and put a bunch of
marigolds in there.

Mr. Merriman! I never.

I must say,

I like having
Mr. Prince here meself.

He's a really nice young chap.

Not a bit of side on him.

Huh.



Don't you like
him, Mr. Merriman?

He's not as bad as
some of them chauffeurs.

You'd think they owned
the street, let alone the car.

TOM: Any more tea left
in that pot, Mrs. Cochrane?

Oh, talk of the devil!

MRS. COCHRANE: Come in,
Mr. Prince. We were expecting you.

Mrs. Cochrane. Mr. Merriman.

Hello, Violet.

VIOLET: Back again, then?

TOM: That's right.

Hello, Tom.

How's my best girl, then?

I'm not anybody's best girl.

Sit down, Mr. Prince.

We just made a fresh pot
before we start the dinners.

Put a drop more hot water
in it, though, Ethel, will you?

Yes, Mrs. Cochrane.

How long are you
staying this time?

Oh, I don't know, Mr. Merriman.

Not long, if I know my old lady.

She's always on the move.

You're off to Italy
this time, aren't you?

That's right, Mary.

Madame's got an idea she
might buy a villa down there.

Some people have all the luck.

I wouldn't want to
live in Italy, myself.

Never liked Eyeties
since I had that turn-up

with an Italian commis de suite.

Swiped my order of
fricassée de volaille, he did.

I poured it over his head.

Excuse me. Ahem.

I never met any Italians,
except for the hokey-pokey man.

Oh, they're not so bad.

They thought the world of madam

at that hotel in Florence.

Ta very much.

Mrs. Covenden's
nephew back again?

That's right, Mary.

Puts everything on
her bill, you know.

Including the Champagne,

and he don't choose
the cheapest, neither.

Well, I suppose madam,

not having any
children of her own,

she naturally thinks
of him like a son.

Hmm... Hmm...

It's nice to see
you looking so well.

I'll put a light on, I think.

By the way, I've decided
to go into a nursing home

to have that little
operation after all.

Oh, dear.

I know. I don't like hospitals
any more than you do.

Mmm. They're like jail...

All right for a day or two,
but don't stay there too long.

You know my husband
was a magistrate.

He used to say, "3 months
gives them a good lesson.

6 months teaches them too much."

I hope you're not going to be in
that nursing home for 6 months.

Oh, no.

The doctor thinks about a week

and then back here to recuperate

before I go to Italy.

I'd like Prince to stay
on here in the hotel

while I'm in the nursing home.

Yes, of course.

And how about young Eddie?

Oh...well, yes, I suppose so.

You spoil that young
man, Mrs. Covenden.

I know. I think perhaps
I'm sorry for him.

Sorry for him?

Well, I don't think
I'd like to have

my sister as a
mother. Would you?

Ha ha ha!

I can't imagine why
she needs a villa in Italy.

She hardly wants
to live in Bradford.

Oh, there are perfectly
good pensiones in Florence.

It's so exasperating.

She marries that
dreadfully vulgar man

and goes to live in that
appallingly vulgar place.

The only thing that
makes it remotely tolerable

is that he had a
great deal of money,

and ever since he died,

she's gone out of her
way to squander the money

in every way she can think of.

I really think she
does it to spite us.

Yes, but she's still quite
well off, Ma, isn't she?

Oh, I wish you
wouldn't call me "Ma."

I don't know where you
get these low expressions.

Well, I'll call you
Mama, if you like,

but I really believe it
went out with the Ark...

or perhaps I should
say down with the Ark,

except that I believe
the Ark floated,

so really we are left
exactly where we were.

I must say, I hope
auntie will come down

a bit handsome this time.

I'm stoney-broke.

I can't imagine why

she doesn't give you
a regular allowance.

She knows how little
your father and I can afford.

Oh, well, we better go and see

what she wants
to do this evening.

Did you remember to
get some flowers for her?

Oh, no. I forgot.

Never mind. If we
go to the theater,

I'll buy her some chocolates.

Tsk tsk.

Now, what shall we go and see?

Prince will get
the tickets for us.

I didn't order
Champagne, Merriman.

No. I did, auntie. Thought
it would cheer you up.

How thoughtful of you, Eddie.

That's right, auntie.
Only too pleased.

- Thank you, Merriman.
- Very good, sir.

How about "Gay
Lothario" at the Empire?

They say it's frightfully funny.

Edward, you know
I detest the Empire.

Prince, what do you suggest?

Prince always chooses
my books for me

at Moodie's library.

There's "Bunty
Pulls the Strings"

At the Haymarket, madam.

Sounds as though it might
be the kind of play you'd enjoy.

Oh, is that still on? I
thought I'd missed it.

And the Haymarket
is my favorite theater.

We'll go there.

Very well, Prince... A
box if they have one.

If not, 3 seats in
the dress circles...or...

Do you think Miss Prentice

would like to come?

It's rather short notice.

She probably has another
engagement by now.

You know, Eddie, I can't imagine

why you don't fix your
interest with that young girl.

I think she's quite charming.

But unfortunately,
she hasn't a penny.

Mmm.

Eddie intends to marry
for money, does he?

Well, not exactly, auntie,

but I think I shall have
to marry where money is.

So will Eleanor.

I can't see her living in a
poky little flat in Pimlico.

Well, I don't think
she's as mercenary as...

..as you think.

Very well, then,
Prince, 3 seats or a box.

PRINCE: Yes, madam.

You didn't ask if Arthur
would like to come.

Oh, do you think he would?

No. He's dining at his club.

Oh, you asked me to remind you

about that invitation, madam.

Oh! Yes, Prince. Thank you.

I'll scribble a note now,

and then you can take it round.

Get a box of chocolates,
Prince, would you?

And bring them up to my room.

Something really nice
from Rumpelmeyers.

Yes, sir.

Oh, take it out of
that, would you?

Now, anything you fancy,

you be sure to let us know.

Oh, my dear Mrs. Trotter,

I shall only be
away for 3 or 4 days.

Yeah, I know, but I know
what that hospital food is like.

Well, Prince will be
calling morning and evening

to see if there's anything
I want. Won't you, Prince?

- Yes, madam.
- Thank you.

Oh, will you be requiring
your writing case, madam?

Prince, how clever of you.

Of course I shall.

I mean to catch up with
all my correspondence

during the next few days.

Uh, Mary, would you...oh.

- MARY: I have it here, madam.
- Thank you.

Oh, uh, Mr. Starr,
would you put...

..this on the front seat
the right way up

and stay with it?

It's got some of
madam's valuables in it.

Don't you stay
in there too long.

We can look after
you much better here.

Dear Mrs. Trotter,
I know you will.

Where is Eddie?

Oh, he's gone to the
races with the major.

Yes, of course.

I had a little present
for him, but, um...

Violet, perhaps you
would give those cigars

to Mr. Sturgess
for me, would you?

Yes, madam.

Well, good-bye,
everybody. Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you, Starr.

Thank you, Prince.

Thank you.

I still say that if Riddle
hadn't fallen at the last fence,

it would have won in a canter.

Fallen?!

My dear Major,
it crossed its legs

and curtseyed to the stands.

All the other horses
were out of sight by that time.

Take these for
me, Starr, will you?

Oh, and get 4 tickets for
the Empire tomorrow night.

- There's a good fellow.
- Very good, sir.

Have a nice day?

You'll be glad to hear

your aunt got off to
the hospital all right.

By jove, yes.

I-I meant to see the old girl off,

but the major had a
hot tip for the first race.

Looks like a good one
in the 3:30 tomorrow...

Gay Lothario.

EDDIE: Ah, "Gay Lothario."

That's the play my aunt
wouldn't go and see.

Well, it's probably
going to lose, then.

We're going tomorrow
night instead, so it might not.

You think you can get
away with anything, don't you.

S'pose you want some wine?

- Mmm. Louisa, you're an angel.
- Yes.

Merriman?
MERRIMAN: Madam?

Fetch us some wine.

MERRIMAN: Very good, madam.

LOUISA: Major.

Yes. If there was a cup
inscribed "Bookies' Friend,"

I don't know who'd have
it on his mantelpiece,

him or the major.

I'd back Mr. Sturgess.

He's not playing
with his own money.

There. If she don't fancy that,

she won't fancy anything.

Mrs. Trotter's grouse
in aspic a la Louise,

and even I don't
know the recipe.

How was she when you saw her?

Sitting up and taking notice?

Oh, I should say so.

She noticed the ribbon on
her nightgown was frayed,

and I've been up and
down Oxford Street,

trying to match it.

You never!

Went in all them big
shops, buying ribbon?

- Of course I did.
- You'd think she'd bring a

lady's maid with her.

Oh, she's hasn't
got one just now.

She fell out with the last one.

Found out she was putting
a few too many extras

on her account.

Madam's very
easygoing in some ways,

but she don't
like to be cheated.

There. Not a bad match.

He'll make a good husband
for somebody, won't he, Ethel?

I don't know,
Mr. Merriman, I'm sure.

I wouldn't want my husband
to do my shopping for me.

Oh, then I won't give you the
little present I got for you, then.

You never.

Thank you.

- Oh.
- I've always liked lavender.

We used to have a big bush of it

outside the backdoor at home.

Here. Ethel, if madam doesn't
want me tomorrow afternoon,

do you care to go for a walk?

Oh, well, it ain't me
afternoon off, but, uh...

All right, but you'll have to
do all your work first, though.

Thanks, Mrs. Cochrane.

Come on, you better take this.

Now, give Mrs. Covenden
our best respects

and say we look forward to
seeing her back here very soon.

- Thanks. I will. Bye.
- Bye. Bye.

You had enough, Mr. Merriman?

Yes, thanks.

Mr. Sturgess wanting
supper before the theater,

I thought I'd better
make sure of it.

Urp. Beg pardon.

Bit early for me, really.

I'll just go and check me wines.

He'll go and polish off
that bottle now in the pantry

and then put his feet up.

Never you mind that.
That's none of your business.

Now, Ethel, about Mr. Prince...

Oh, yes. I'll do all my work before
I go out tomorrow, Mrs. Cochrane.

I'm not talking about that.

Now, he's a very nice young man

with very nice, taking ways.

But you know as well as I do,

he'll only be here
for a few weeks,

then he'll be off to Italy
with Mrs. Covenden,

then back to the
house in Bradford,

and you don't know
when he'll be here again.

And that's how it's always
going to be with him.

He could get another position.

He'd be a fool if he did.

He's got a very good
place with Mrs. Covenden.

She thinks the world of him,

and he's not going
to give that up for you.

Now, come on, Ethel.

I'm not saying don't
go out with him.

I'm just saying don't get
carried away, that's all.

That orange jumble
was really quite excellent.

My dear Miss Prentice,

won't you have some more?

No, thank you, Mrs. Sturgess.

Cheese, madam?

Oh, no, thank you.

No, thank you.

Shouldn't we be leaving soon?

Oh, I never mind

being late at the theater,

especially for a comedy.

It's all such nonsense, anyway.

In that case, I wonder you
think it worth going at all.

My dear Miss Prentice,
you're very outspoken.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Was that rude?

Mama is always saying
I'm too outspoken,

and I never know what she means.

She means you speak the
truth at inconvenient moments.

Is that it?

Then I must learn when truth
is convenient and when it is not.

In society, the truth is
almost never convenient.

I suppose it is
nearly time we left.

Eddie, have they got any
decent port in this place?

Arthur, you haven't time to
sit over port and cigars now.

Oh.

We can come back
here after the theater

and have a little supper.

- Waiter?
- Madam.

Tell the chauffeur we shall
be ready to leave in 5 minutes.

Very good, madam.

ELEANOR: Hurry.

EDDIE: Haven't been
to the theater for ages.

STURGESS: Better be worth it.

EDDIE: The car
is there, is it, Starr?

Uh, no, sir. I believe not.

Didn't the waiter give
you my message?

Oh, that's too bad.

Please tell the
chauffeur immediately.

I understand the chauffeur
has not yet returned, madam.

I suppose he's on some
errand or other for auntie.

Oh, Maud really is too selfish.

She knew perfectly well

we were going to the
theater this evening

and obviously we
should need the car.

ELEANOR: Can't we walk?

It's drizzling a bit, miss.

You better call a cab, then,
Starr. Look sharp about it.

Yes ma'am.

Oh, you needn't bother.

EDDIE: There you are, Prince.
Where on earth have you been?

MILLICENT: We wish to leave
for the theater immediately.

I'm so sorry, my dear.

It seems that no one
is reliable these days,

least of all the servants.

C-could I have a word
with you please, madam?

EDDIE: Can't
that wait till later?

ARTHUR: Yes, if we're going
to this beastly theater, let's go.

Otherwise, we may
as well go back upstairs

and finish our
dinner in comfort.

Now, one thing I hate...

MILLICENT: Arthur,
do stop grumbling.

What will Miss Prentice think?

Please, madam.

Something wrong, Prince?

Couldn't you tell me later?

No, madam.

Mrs. Covenden is dead, madam.

Dead?

Well, what happened?

What is the man talking about?

I'm afraid your sister has died,

Mrs. Sturgess.

I-I'm very sorry,
madam. I would have...

I don't believe it.

She was perfectly
all right this afternoon.

Well, apparently it was
her heart, just suddenly s...

They say she
collapsed and...never...

Here, you. Come with me, my boy.

Merriman, fetch us some brandy.

Oh, I really...Maud.

It's all right,
Millie. It's all right.

- I can't believe it!
- Here, sit down. Just sit down.

She was perfectly...

There's never been
anything wrong with her heart.

ELEANOR: I have
some smelling salts.

Oh, Prince doesn't
have to bother.

I'll keep him on.

I shall probably buy a new car.

Yeah, that'll be all right.

And what's wrong
with the old one?

Mrs. Covenden only
bought it last year.

I think I fancy something
with a bit more "Go" in it.

Prince can come
and help me choose it.

That'll cheer him up.

All right, Merriman, you can
put the madeira down here.

EDDIE: Madeira?

It ain't exactly the
occasion for Champagne.

This isn't a
celebration, you know.

Anyway, this is a
very nice drop of stuff.

Old Blandy brought it back for
me himself last time he was over.

STARR: Mr. Caper, sir.

Mr. Caper, I'm Edward Sturgess.

CAPER: How do you do?

This is Mrs. Trotter.

Mrs. Trotter.

Care for some
madeira, Mr. Caper?

Yes. Thank you.

- Be all right for you here?
- Yes, thank you.

Quite convenient.

MILLICENT: This
all looks very formal.

When my poor brother died,

we just gathered
together after the funeral

and arranged everything
in a few moments.

Uncle George
only left fourpence,

and he owed that to his hatter.

Oh, really, Eddie.

Good morning, Mrs. Trotter.

Mrs. Sturgess.

Mr. Caper.

Mr. Sturgess.

- MERRIMAN: Madam.
- Oh, thank you.

ARTHUR: Oh, what's this?

Mmm. Very good.
Malmsey, isn't it?

Quite a good cellar, this hotel.

Do you know, we had
a claret the other night

we wouldn't have been
ashamed to serve at my club.

Ah...

Surely we don't need to
have the chauffeur here or...

they are beneficiaries.

Oh. Are they?

Even so...

CAPER: Well, shall we begin?

- Thank you, Merriman.
- MERRIMAN: Very good, madam.

Oh, Mr. Merriman,
you might care to know

that Mrs. Covenden did
remember you in her will.

She left small legacies to 3
members of the staff of the Bentinck.

To each of them...
Arthur Cornelius Merriman,

Joseph Starr, and Mary
Philips... the sum of £20.

I shall be notifying you
all officially, of course,

but perhaps you might care to

convey that
information to the others.

Oh, yes, sir. Thank
you, sir.

It's quite a simple will,

and I thought perhaps
it might be as well

if you all heard it together.

I felt that Mrs. Covenden

would have liked Mrs.
Trotter to be present

in view of certain provisions.

Ahem. There are
legacies of £50 each to...

Albert Proctor, Ethel
Brice, and Annie Carter.

Who on earth are they?

The gardener,
housekeeper, and cook

at Mrs. Covenden's
house in Bradford.

Oh, yes.

And legacies of £100 each
to each of her goddaughters.

There's not going to
be much left at this rate.

"To my kind friend
Louisa Trotter,

"who made a home for me
whenever I was in London,

"the sum of £100,

asking her to drink a glass of
Champagne to my memory."

To you, Mrs. Sturgess...

Yes.

Your sister left a
legacy of £1,000.

Oh.

And her house in Bradford.

Oh, Bradford.

Ahem.

"To my nephew Edward
George Sturgess,

"who has always
made it perfectly clear

"that he had no interest in me
whatever, but only in my money,

"I leave not a penny,

"in the hope that it may
teach him a lesson in manners.

"I give and devise and
bequeath all the residue

"of my property,
both real and personal,

"wheresoever and
whatsoever, to my chauffeur,

"Thomas Albert Prince,

"who has always served me

"with such thoughtfulness
and consideration,

and shown me at all times a
genuine and selfless affection."

That is all.

She was out of her mind, surely?

I think not. Mrs. Covenden
came to my office to sign this will

4 months ago, when
she returned from Italy.

I would say she was
perfectly compos mentis.

What on earth am I going to do

with a house in Bradford?

I suppose we can sell it.

I'm certainly not
going to live in it.

She was always
spiteful, even as a child.

Really, Mr. Caper,

I think you might have
given her better advice.

Come along, Arthur,

we shall go back to
the flat immediately.

Oh.

Yes.

Would you like me
to drive you, madam?

Certainly not. We
shall take a cab.

Eddie, you had better
come round this evening,

and we'll talk the
whole thing over

and see what can be done.

Come along, Arthur.

Would you care for
some more, Mr. Caper?

No, thank you, Mrs. Trotter.

I have another appointment.

Ah, Mr. Prince,

perhaps you would care to come
to my office tomorrow morning,

and I could explain
your financial position

a little more clearly.

Yes, sir.

About how much would the, uh...

Residue come to?

Oh...probably in the
region of £30,000.

30,000...

I see.

I say, people won't
have to know, will they?

I mean, about my aunt
not leaving me anything?

You can rely upon
my discretion, naturally.

I hope you've not been borrowing

upon your expectations?

Of course not.

No more than...

no more than everyone else does.

Mmm. Quite so.

I don't really
approve, you know.

It is a bit of a lark,
though, isn't it?

I'm not sure that it is.

All right, come on then, boys.

It's so beastly unfair.

I was always
jolly decent to her.

Why, only the last time
we went to the theater,

I bought her a
box of chocolates.

Yeah, well,

I'm going to do what she said

and drink a glass of
Champagne in her memory.

You'd better join me.

Blimey, you look more
miserable than he does.

You'd better come, too. Come on.

ETHEL: Thank you, Mr. Starr.

Very generous, I must say.

I never expected it.

Did you, Mr. Merriman?

Thought I might get a fiver.

Here's to a very nice lady.

Yeah.

Mrs. Covenden.

Mrs. Covenden. Mrs. Covenden.

God rest her soul.

ETHEL: A whole year's wages.

What about Mr. Prince, then?

Well, I think it couldn't happen

to a nicer fellow.

He really deserves it.

He'd have enough
to get married on now,

won't he, Ethel?

Don't know, I'm sure.

Come on, Ethel, you know
what Mrs. Trotter will say

if she finds us gossiping here,

where we've no business to be.

She'll say she'll have
our guts for garters.

Yes, you're right.

Now off you go and
peel those artichokes.

Put them in vinegar
and water straightaway,

same as I showed you.

Yes, Mrs. Cochrane.

I better go and
look at me fires.

Now, Mr. Merriman,

you shouldn't tease
the girl like that.

She didn't seem to mind.

And it's quite true,
Mrs. Cochrane.

He will be able to
settle down now.

I daresay.

But do you think
he'll look at Ethel...

a man with £30,000?

What's he going to
do with all that money,

that's what I'd like to know.

What's Master Eddie
going to do without it?

He'll just have to learn
to manage, won't he?

Do him good, if you ask me.

Well, you'll have to get
yourself a job, my boy.

What would you suggest?

Perhaps Prince
had better teach me

how to be a chauffeur.

If you drive a car
anything like the way

you back the horses,
I wouldn't trust you

round the next corner.

Anyway, you haven't got good
enough manners to be a chauffeur.

Sorry.

Oh, for God's sake, Prince,
put that bleeding cap down.

- Sorry, madam.
- And don't call me madam.

It gets on me nerves,
being called madam

by a man with £30,000.

Well, that's just
it, madam, isn't it?

I mean, that's just it.

What is?

Well, it doesn't seem right,

a chauffeur having
that much money.

You can always give it away.

That's enough out of you.

If a man's rich, you
expect he'd be a gentleman.

Maybe you could teach
Eddie how to be a chauffeur,

and he can teach you
how to be a gentleman.

If that money's really mine...

Of course it's yours.

You make the most
of it, enjoy yourself.

What are you going
to do with it, anyway?

I don't know, madam.

Been different if my
mother had been alive.

Could have made life a bit
easier for her. But as it is...

..I suppose I better
put some of it aside.

You could always buy
a business, open a shop.

Or a garage, yes.

Where are you
going to go now, then?

Just for the minute, I was
wondering if I could stay here.

I'd stay in my usual room
and I'd pay my own way.

You stay here, you'll
have a proper apartment

like anyone else.

I'm not having one of
my guests in the attic.

If you like, you can have
Mrs. Covenden's rooms.

- I wouldn't like to.
- Why not? You can afford 'em.

I daresay I could, but...

you want them, they're yours.

Well, I would like
to stay in London,

just for a bit.

Thinking of going into
society, are you, Prince?

Not exactly, sir.

But there doesn't
seem much point

in staying on in service.

I wouldn't mind
having a bit of fun,

like Mrs. Trotter says.

Go to the theater yourself,

instead of just
buying the tickets?

That's it, madam.

And I've always wanted
to go to the horse sales

at Tattersall's.

You see, my father
was a groom, and...

well, there's lots of
things I'd like to do, really.

Only I wouldn't want
to embarrass anyone

by seeming out of
place, you know?

Of course, what with
madam taking me everywhere,

I've been around
the gentry, but...

if you're going to be around
them in a different capacity,

you'll have to stop
calling them gentry.

Yes, sir. I suppose there's
lots of things like that.

Maybe that wasn't
such a bad idea of yours

after all, madam.

What's that?

Do you mind if I...

No, help yourself.

Well, I was thinking that...

..if I was to pay
Master Eddie's expenses,

same as madam used to...

how the devil do you know that?

Oh, servants get to
know quite a few things.

That's what I mean,

it wouldn't all
come strange to me.

But if Master Eddie was
to take me around a bit,

show me the ropes...

Well, what do you think?

I think if he's going to do that,
you'd better stop calling him

Master Eddie.

Louisa...oh...

Hello, Major. Come in.

Have a free drink.

Oh. Yes, thank you, I will.

I say, it would be rather
a lark, Louisa, wouldn't it?

What would?

To pass him off as a gentleman.

TOM: Oh, no, sir. I wasn't
thinking of anything like that.

LOUISA: That's not a bad idea.

Right you are, we'll do it.

We'll pass you
off as a gentleman.

Can't have a man with £30,000

acting like a chauffeur.

The major will help.
He knows what's what.

What?

Now you're finished
hobnobbing with your nabobs,

got a job of work for you.

If you're asking
for my advice...

and you mean what
I think you mean...

well, honestly,

I think it might be
rather a mistake.

I'm not asking for your advice.

I'm asking for your help.

Mr. Thomas Prince, your grace.

Don't give it to
me. They'll think

you've come to stay for a week.

What shall I do with it?

Take it in with you.

Oh.

Don't put them there.

Well, where shall I put them?

By your chair when you sit down.

How do I shake hands?

You don't. Just
bow to the duchess.

how very nice to meet you,
Mr. Prince.

I believe you know Mr. Sturgess.

Bow, old boy.

How do you do?

Very well, thank...

don't tell me. I
don't want to know.

What?

You'll be telling us about
your varicose veins next.

Well, what shall I say, then?

Bow, smile, and sit down.

Yes.

EDDIE: Now you make conversation.

W-what do I talk about?

Anything except
religion or politics.

Or business. Don't
talk business to women.

They're not supposed
to understand it.

Ahem.

It's a fine day, Your Grace,

for the time of year.

Will Your Grace be
going abroad for...

don't keep calling her
"Your Grace," old boy.

Only servants do that...

if you don't mind my saying so.

You just call her
Duchess now and then,

to tell her you
know what's what.

EDDIE: What on
earth are you doing?

Blowing my nose.

Yes, but quietly, my dear chap.

It's not a trombone.

And don't turn your head away.

Just say "Pardon."

ALL: No.

Never apologize.

Unless you spill something

on a lady's dress.

LOUISA: And just
remember you're a gentleman.

Whatever you do is right.

Well, you'd better go now.

Yes, mustn't stay more
than 1/4 of an hour.

Hardly seems
worth coming at all.

Don't I even get a cup of tea?

Oh, yeah, he must
get a cup of tea.

Not the first time.

He doesn't know the
duchess well enough

to come at tea-time.

But you're going to be with me.

Of course. You'd
never get in otherwise.

I'll introduce you.

Here, Eddie.

You're not really taking
him to the duchess first off.

That's flying a bit high
for starters, isn't it?

My dear Louisa,
she's got 4 completely

unmarriageable daughters.

Faces like the north side

of Clapham Common, poor girls.

And not one of
them with a penny.

So if any eligible
young man comes along

with a bit of tinkle...

the duchess don't ask
too many questions.

Here, I've got a better idea.

Why don't you have a
little luncheon party here,

and invite the duchess and her
eldest daughter. What's her name?

Victoria.
Victoria. Yeah. That's right.

Now, if that doesn't get
Tom into society, nothing will.

That's a good idea.

Yeah. Right.

Now we've got to get him out.

Oh, yeah, right.

Carry on.

I'm terribly sorry, Duchess,

I've got to be pushing off.

ALL: No.

What are you doing here?

That's a bit of luck. I
hoped to find you here.

Guests aren't
allowed in the kitchen.

Aren't they?

You'll get me into trouble.

Mrs. Cochrane's only just gone

to choose the
oysters for your lunch.

Don't talk to me about oysters.

Master Eddie had
me half the morning

at Scott's yesterday,

learning how to eat
them properly. Ugh.

Don't you like them?

Horrible. But you
have to eat them

if you're going to
be a gentleman.

Here, what are you
doing tomorrow afternoon?

Working. Unlike
some I could mention.

But it's your afternoon off.

- What if it is?
- Well, come out with me, eh?

I can't go out with guests.

But you can come out with me.

What would people think

if they saw me walking about

with you all
dolled up like that?

I'll put me chauffeur's
uniform on.

Does that make you feel better?

Do you want to get me the sack?

No, of course I don't.

Well, then get upstairs quick

before Mrs. Trotter sees you.

Ethel...

Mrs. Cochrane's coming.

All right, Ethel?

Yes, Mrs. Cochrane.

Here, where's the
other "Daily News"?

I said two copies,
didn't I, Fred?

Oh. Here it is.

Just as well, eh, Fred,

or you'd have been
in trouble, my lad.

Morning, Mr. Starr.
Morning, Fred.

Only two for the "Daily News,"

You and the duke.

Here. Don't let him
know you take it, too,

or he'll want to share yours.

He's so mean, he grudges
buying his bootlaces

in pairs.

Mr. Starr, do you...

no, sir. It's just Starr now,

and you're Mr. Prince.

Starr, then.

You couldn't get me a copy
of the "Chauffeur's Gazette,"

Could you?

Well, it isn't exactly
the sort of thing...

All right, I'll see
what I can do.

Thanks.

You're up a bit
early, aren't you?

Oh, I can't get used
to all this lying in bed.

Wake at half past 5:00, I do,

same as I've done all me life.

Want me to give you
a hand with those?

No, thank you,
sir, I can manage.

There's just one thing, sir...

don't hang about with
them papers, Starr.

If Merriman's late with
the breakfast trays again,

I'll chuck him down the
stairs and you with him.

Yes, madam. Er...

good morning.
Sorry I can't stop.

Some of us got work to do.

Another thing, Tom, old boy,

if you don't mind
my mentioning it...

don't forget to eat
your pudding with a fork.

I noticed you used
a spoon yesterday.

You can get it up
better with a spoon.

Yes, I daresay,

but it's not quite the thing.

EDDIE: And don't forget...

your father is a
vicar in Bristol.

Bristol.

I've never met anyone

who actually lives in Bristol,

so that's all right.

And the clergy
are always hard up,

so that explains
why you never went

to a decent school,

and why you talk the way you do.

And a rich uncle died in Italy,

leaving you all his money.

Clever, that. Not bad.

Miss Prentice is
bound to recognize me.

No, she won't.

People never look
at servants' faces.

Anyway, she's only
seen you once or twice,

and you'd have
been wearing a cap.

Her grace the Duchess of
Flint and Lady Victoria Mitcham.

Ah. Good morning, Mr. Sturgess.

Duchess.

Let's have a look at that
dish before it goes up.

Oh, yeah, that's lovely.

Righto.

Ethel, you drain that celery properly?

Yes, Mrs. Trotter.

Mmmm. Yeah it's lovely.

Here we are.

I Wonder if the old
bat will remember.

I hear that dreadful Mrs. Glyn

has written another book.

I think it should
be against the law

for people in society
to write books.

Her acquaintances
must feel all the time

as if they have a
spy in their midst.

MAJOR: Do you
think her books give

an accurate picture
of society, Duchess?

EDDIE: Passion on a tiger
skin with a Balkan Princess.

Splendid. I had no idea.

DUCHESS: Really, Mr. Sturgess.

I was not referring to that
dreadful novel "Three Weeks."

I am happy to say
I haven't read it,

and I consider that you
should not even mention it

in front of my daughter
and Miss Prentice.

But I quite enjoyed
"The Visits of Elizabeth."

It described exactly
what I remember feeling

when I first came out.

My boots made too much
noise when I came into the room,

and everybody seemed to be
speaking a private language,

and to know things about
each other which I did not.

That may be, Miss Prentice,

but you suffered in
silence like the rest of us,

and did not write it down
for everyone to read.

If we all gave away
the secrets of society,

where should we be?

Have you been to
Diaghilev, Mr. Prince?

I'm not very fond of the ballet.

I've more of a taste
for opera, really.

I'd like to see that
"Boris Godunov" thing.

I'm told Chaliapin is superb.

What's this?

Beef olives, your grace.

Beef olives and
celery à l'espagnole?

Ah, yes. I remember
having that at Lady Paget's,

and sending a message
to Mrs. Trotter to say

how much I enjoyed it.

How very clever
of her to remember.

This is really a delightful

luncheon party, Mr. Sturgess.

Isn't it, Victoria?

Oh, yes, mama.

Are you fond of
reading, Mr. Prince?

Well, if I say so meself,

I don't think I've ever sent
up a more perfect luncheon.

Everything was just
right. Well done, Cockie.

MRS. COCHRANE: Thank you, madam.

Ethel, any of that
Milan souffle left,

put it in the ice box.
I'll have it for me dinner.

Yes, Mrs. Trotter.

They want another coffee, then.

Just going up, Mr. Merriman.

Well, Merriman, how's
Mr. Prince getting on then?

Touch and go.

Oh, blimey.

DUCHESS: Have you
known Mr. Prince long?

Oh, quite some time, Duchess.

But he has only just
come into money.

Ah.

30,000 a year. Quite a tidy sum.

Yes, indeed.

Are you fond of
London, Mr. Sturgess?

From the window of

a first-class carriage,
Lady Victoria, yes.

Otherwise, I much
prefer the country.

I agree. London
is so dreadfully...

That is to say...

of course, London
is so interesting...

the picture galleries, and...

Are you fond of
paintings, Mr. Sturgess?

I've never actually
been in a picture gallery,

except the Royal Academy,

but that doesn't count.

Oh, no, no, no, of course.

Poor Lady Victoria.

There is nothing
worse than trying

to make polite conversation

under the critical
eye of one's mama.

Still, I'll not be too proud

to follow her lead.

Are you fond of
paintings, Mr. Prince?

Don't fancy the
continent myself.

Rackety sort of place,
for the most part.

Doesn't inspire
one with confidence.

These foreign royalties

keep on getting
themselves assassinated.

I don't suppose
they do it on purpose.

Personally, I
think they just want

to make themselves
more important.

And I, uh, used to go
to the picture galleries

in Florence, when I was...

When I was there.

Oh, yes,

that was when you were staying

with your uncle...
or was it your aunt?

You've spotted me.
I thought you had.

Did you think I wouldn't?

Eddie said that people
never look at servants' faces.

Oh, did he?

Well, he was quite wrong,

especially if the
servant is young

and good-looking.

Do you know I fell in love

with the second footman

when I was only 15?

Did you really?

Yes, really.

Did you hear that
Louise Carstairs

shot a gamekeeper last week?

On purpose, or by accident?

Hardly by accident.

She shoots better
than her husband.

The general opinion is

that she was aiming
at her husband,

but the unfortunate
man got in between.

Quite nonsense, of course.
Just an unfortunate accident.

What was the idea
of this masquerade?

Was it a joke?

It wasn't a joke to me.

It wasn't even my idea.

Well, you see,

I've come into this
little bit of money, and...

you don't mean to tell me

you got half Eddie's
expectations?

Good for Mrs. Covenden.
It serves him right.

B-but I thought that...

What did you think?

Just because I let him
take me to the theater

and out to dinner...

and because he does
dance rather nicely...

it doesn't mean to
say I approve of him.

Well, if we just went
around with people

we approved of, think
how dull life would be.

Well, so, you
inherited this money?

Well, I just decided that I'd
like to stay at the Bentinck

until I decided what
to do with it. But...

Master Eddie, and the
major and Mrs. Trotter —

Thought you should pretend
to be what you were not.

Thank you for a charming
luncheon, Mr. Sturgess.

Victoria?

Oh. Yes. Thank you
so much, Mr. Sturgess.

You must bring
Mr. Prince to call one day.

Thursday is my at-home day.

Oh, by the way, Mr. Prince,

we are giving a
drama on Wednesday...

awful crush, these
after-dinner gatherings,

but the young people
seem to like them.

If you'd care to come?

Thank you, Duchess,

but I think you
ought to know that...

that I-I'm not...

I am so sorry, Duchess,

but that is the
evening Mr. Prince

has promised faithfully
to take me to the opera.

Oh. Well,

some other time, perhaps.

Good-bye, Major.

Duchess.

Victoria.

Well done, old boy.

I think we did quite well.

Bung these in the
post, would you, Starr?

- Right, madam.
- Ta.

Oh, these are for you, madam.

All right. Ta.

Morning, Tom. Not quite
so early this morning.

No. Up a bit late last night.

Music hall, and then
on to the Cafe de Paris.

Hock and seltzer, is it?

No, not as bad as that. But
could you do us a hamper?

A hamper?

We're thinking of driving out

to Newmarket this afternoon.

Who's we?

Me and Eddie and Miss Prentice,

and Lady Victoria.

Oh — she allowed out on her own?

Her grace must
have taken to you.

All right, I'll see you
get a nice little luncheon,

- plenty of bubbly.
- Thanks.

Here, don't you go
getting her tiddly.

Oh, Mr. Prince...

got your "Chauffeur's Gazette."

Oh, yes, sir. Thanks.

I hope we're doing
the right thing.

Oh? Of course we are.

He's having the
time of his life.

Most likely be
engaged to Lady Victoria

before the year's out.

I'm afraid you
lost a dreadful lot

of money, Mr. Prince.

Oh, that doesn't matter.

It was a good day out
and that's what counts.

Oh, it was simply wonderful

to be out in the country again.

Victoria, may I
ask you a question?

Oh, yes. Please do.

Why do you stay in London

when you detest it?

Well, I have to. I mean...

because your mother says so.

One should not submit to

the tyranny of mothers.

You know, you should
go to her and say,

"Dear mama, I have
given London a fair chance,

"And I shall never love London,

"And London will never love me.

Therefore, I am going
back where I belong."

STARR: Your carriage
is here, my lady.

Thank you.

Do you know, I
really think I will.

What a lark.

In time for the best
of the cup hunting, too.

Good-bye, and thank you.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

If you ask me,

he's falling for Miss Prentice.

And I got half a mind
she's falling for him, too.

I think it's quite romantic.

Don't know about romantic.

Costing him a pretty
penny, I know that.

A fortune he spent,

just to get wild
strawberries sent in

from the South of France.

MRS. COCHRANE: He never did.

Yeah.

Ethel, watch what you're doing

with that potato snow.

Don't break the flakes up...

just let them fall
through the sieve lightly.

I only hope Mr. Prince
has got a bit put back

for a rainy day.

Has he, Ethel?

I don't know. I've no idea.

It's up to him what he
does with his money.

Oh...

Oh, Ethel, let me finish that.

Mr. Merriman, what have
you done with that bit of money

Mrs. Covenden left you?

I put it away for me old age.

They were playing
bridge for how much?

I thought you ought
to know, ma'am.

LOUISA: Tom...

what's this about you playing

for £10 a point?

Well, why not?

Besides, if a gentleman suggests
playing for a certain amount,

you can't very well
start objecting to it.

And £100 side bets?

How did you...

I thought servants weren't
supposed to tell tales.

Mine are. I train them special.

Now listen, Tom.

Lord Titus and Major Croft,

they treat money like confetti.

I don't know what Eddie's doing,

playing with them
— be baccarat next.

Here, they haven't
asked ye'...

Now listen, Tom,

I know I told you to
enjoy your money.

You don't want
to squander it all.

It's my money.

I can do what I like with it.

Yeah, I know, but...

Well don't worry! There's
enough left to pay the bill!

Ohh. I'm glad to get
the weight off me feet.

Let's have a drop of that tea.

Mrs. Trotter's had
me going round

every single room with her.

This was wrong,
and that was wrong.

I was glad to see
the back of her.

She'll be back this evening.
She's only gone to a wedding.

I expect that's why
she was in such a mood.

She doesn't like weddings.

Here, do you think
Tom and Miss Prentice

will get married?

Of course not. She
wouldn't have him.

Anyway, I always thought
her and Mr. Sturgess...

ah, but Tom's got the money now,

and Mr. Sturgess hasn't.

Money talks, Mary, you know.

MAN: I insist on seeing him!

Whatever's going on?

I've told you already,
Mr. Sturgess is not in.

He's in, all right.

Now look here...

I'm staying here
until he sees me,

so you may as
well tell him that.

Now, are you going
to tell him I'm here?

Because if not, I warn you...

You are disturbing the guests!

Now either you leave or...

I'M NOT leaving until
I've seen Mr. Sturgess.

Do you want me
to fetch the police?

Makes no difference
to me. Fetch 'em.

Now then, sir,

I'm sure you don't want
any unpleasantness.

Mr. Sturgess can't be
disturbed at the moment,

but if you'd like to
leave a message,

then I'm sure
he will receive it.

All right.

You can give him a message.

Tell him Mr. Francis
is going to put him

in the bankruptcy court,

and after that, he won't be
able to get into a hotel like this.

He won't be able
to get into any hotel

or club in London.

Just tell him that from me.

My God. He'll ruin me,
that damned moneylender.

Tom, I'm done for.

It was very kind of
you to come, Mr. Caper.

Not at all. I was
passing, anyway.

The fact is, I
wanted your advice.

What's it like, then?

Oh, beautiful.

It would not be about
Mr. Prince, would it?

Oh, well... yes, it
would, as a matter of fact.

You see, I feel a bit
responsible in a way.

I wish you could
persuade him to put

some of that money aside.

I don't want him
to squander it all.

He won't listen to me.

I'm afraid it's too late.

Eh?

On my advice, he did allow me

to invest £10,000,

with a view to buying a
business of some kind.

But this week, he instructed me

to realize the money,

and I understand
a check was drawn

for that amount next day.

You had it mended for me.

How did you manage it?

I took it to Develaroy's
on Bond Street.

It's been so
beautifully repaired,

one would never have known

it had been mended at all...

And it hasn't.
This isn't my fan.

Well, they couldn't
mend it after all, so...

you bought me a new one.

I shouldn't accept it,

but I'm going to because
you're so very kind,

and I'm so fond of you.

Tom, did you pay Eddie's debts?

How did you know?

Well, it wasn't hard to
guess that somebody had.

One minute, he was
going around with a face

as long as the serpentine,

and the next, he
was merry as a grig.

He took me out
to lunch at the Ritz

and ordered caviar.

Isn't that just like Eddie

to get himself into a mess,

allow you to help him out of it,

and then not even
invite you to join us?

I really don't think

I'm going to be able to
make anything of him.

You're going to
try, then, are you?

You know, you criticize
Eddie all the time,

which means that you
talk about Eddie all the time,

which must mean that you
think about him all the time.

Are you going to marry him?

Oh, I don't know.

I suppose so.

One does, you know.

We shan't have a penny,

but if I can persuade my father

to increase my
allowance to 1,000 a year

and we get a horrid
little flat in Ebury Street

and I make my clothes
last a year or two,

we might just rub along.

1,000 a year?

Do you know how much
I get as a chauffeur?

No.

£40 a year.

Tom, that money you gave Eddie,

it wasn't all you had, was it?

No, of course not.

It's a pity I didn't
have 30,000 a year,

like the major said.

— And then you might have
married me instead.

That's a beastly thing to say.

And anyway...

You never asked me.

Perhaps if I come back here,

I can have my old room back.

I don't care if the Shah of
Persia's valet is in there...

he goes straight out the window.

It's there for you
when you want it.

Thanks.

Thank you, madam.

What for? Wasting
all your money?

It wasn't wasted.

You're a fool, you know that?

Eddie has to have
money to waste.

I don't.

A lot of thanks
you'll get for it.

Oh, well, off you go.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Tom!

Thanks, Tom. Thank you.

Well, Major, for
once we don't seem

to have done too well, do we?

We?

Well, it was as much
your idea as mine.

It was not. I always
said it was a mistake.

Oh, well. Never mind.

Still, it only goes to show...

can't teach a
new dog old tricks.

Surely you mean
you can't teach...