The Dry (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript
[PLANE ROARING]
["I CAN SEE CLEARLY
NOW" PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT AUDIO OVER PA]
Ashley!
[LADY:] Great to see you.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hi, this is Caroline.
Leave a message.
Hey. I have landed.
I'm in arrivals.
Ehm...
Thought I'd grab myself some
breakfast.
Call me when you get this.
Ehm... No rush.
[INDISTINCT AUDIO OVER PA]
[PHONE RINGING]
[PHONE CONTINUES TO RING]
Is that the phone?
Hmm?
Landline?
Do we still have that?
It'll be Agnes and them.
Wanting to know what
time to come around.
For the food, I suppose.
Probably.
Vultures.
[INDISTINCT AUDIO OVER PA]]
Excuse me?
I... Ehm...
Are you ok?
Huh?
Am I hunching again?
No, you're not hunching.
You're drinking.
At nine in the morning.
Look, I'm not judging.
I'm the last person to...
I just...
I just thought maybe
if you wanted to talk?
You one of those religious nuts?
What? No.
Rob! One of those
religious nuts in again.
I'm not religious.
Why have you got those
pictures of the fucking saints?
No, these are prayer
cards. They're my granny's.
I can't enjoy a pint without
talking about fucking Jesus?
Ok, I was just trying to help.
You're the one who needs
help, harassing people!
I'm not doing that! Want
to talk about fucking...
I don't want to talk about fucking Jesus.
I don't give a fuck about fucking Jesus!
There's no need for that.
Be no Christmas without Jesus.
Sorry.[ CLEARS THROAT]
CAROLINE It's on
the first x-ray.
Yes, I'm sure.
Hairline fracture.
She's coming in this
afternoon to have a cast fit.
Tell Ollie to get his head out of
his arse and his tongue up hers.
You know what they're like.
Last thing we need is a lawsuit.
No, I'm not in today. No.
We've had a death in the family.
What the fuck?
Hi, sweetheart.
Who died?
[TOM: ]Ha.
How long have you been
in here? Couple of hours.
People will be calling.
[BERNIE:] We were having a quiet
moment with your grandmother.
You were wallowing.
[TOM] It's her mother.
She's allowed a
bit of wallowing.
It brings back
memories, that's all.
This is different. She was old.
Where's Ant? He's very upset.
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
Jesus Christ!
Ever heard of privacy!
Who's he?
Hi. I'm Mikey.
Our grandmother's corpse
is in the living room.
You might want to get
dressed. Shit! I forgot.
Oh my god. Is she like... dead?
Yes, Mikey. She is.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[DOOR OPENS]
Jesus. We're back to the famine.
Dead old lady a bit of
a buzz killer, was it?
[CAROLINE: ]Right.
What do we need?
Ehm... Something
that says death,
but also hope.
Carr's Water biscuits,
brie
booze.
What about Shiv?
[DOOR OPENS]
[CAROLINE: ]Oh, shit!
I'm so sorry. I
completely forgot.
Cheers.
Shiv!
Dad.
[BERNIE:] Sweetheart!
Did you just get in?
Caroline forgot to
collect me. Ah, no.
I was doing everything else!
What happened here?
Oh, just a little fall.
Caroline fixed me up.
You've lost weight.
No, I haven't. TOM: You have.
Hasn't she, Bernie?
You look great.
And your skin... Gorgeous.
Piss off. [TOM] No, it's
suiting you, this...
New... Ehm
lifestyle.
Isn't it, Bernie?
How long has it been?
Five months, 17 days and
six hours.
Wow. That is...
Very promising.
She in there? She
wanted to be waked.
I was thinking
if it's okay, I'd...
I want to say something
at the funeral.
About what?
Granny.
I don't think there'd be any
need. Do you think there would be?
No, god. No.
I'm not going to
be embarrassing.
She's been good to me
these last few months.
Her support... Of course, yeah!
And we're here to support
you too, this weekend.
Aren't we, Tom?
Absolutely, yeah.
Very much here to...
Right. We're going
to go to the shops.
For what?
Food. You don't have any.
I'm off gluten and dairy too.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
What? Why don't
you go with them?
And get what you need.
But I haven't seen Granny yet.
Well, it's not like
she's going anywhere.
We'll be in the car.
She's grieving.
Sorry.
It's a wake.
Stop looking at me like that.
[ANT LAUGHS] [SHIV:]
It's still me.
Yeah.
ANT: How's it going over
there? Other than...
[SHIV:] Good, yeah. I'm great.
You? Still working
at the restaurant?
Yeah. I have to stop doing
nights. It's killing me.
Maybe ease up on
the sessioning too?
Mmm?
Don't want to end up like me.
Are you coeliac? What?
The only people who shouldn't
eat gluten are coeliac.
It's a medical condition.
Anyone else is just an arsehole.
I went to a naturopath!
Of course.
Here's the rest of your stuff.
The 'gf' stands for get fucked.
Sorry.
We are going to be able to
enjoy ourselves at
this thing, aren't we?
Enjoy ourselves?
[TOM] With Shiv here.
Like... we can
still have a drink?
Course we can
still have a drink.
Can't we?
Whatever this whole
recovery thing is,
at least it's giving
her some focus.
She's got that job.
She seems more...
We can put up with her
for one weekend. Can't we?
Just don't get pissed.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Is that Aunty Ag?
Yeah. They're probably hiding.
[CAROLINE: ]Hi, Anty Ag!
Is no one home?
I've been here ten minutes. I
saw your father in the hall.
Siobhan! When did you get in?
What you've put your
poor mother through.
First your brother dying, now...
Ah. Agnes! Sorry. Bernie
and I were in the bedroom.
With a corpse in the house?
Disgusting.
[BERNIE:] Agnes!
You're early.
Granny's in there.
I'll have a sherry first.
[CAROLINE:] Is that all
yours? [SHIV: ]Yeah.
Just some art materials.
Needed somewhere to store them.
[CAROLINE:] Put
these in the kitchen.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE]
[CROW CAWING IN DISTANCE]
[BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE]
Who picked Granny's outfit? Mum.
I know, hideous.
Don't know if it's the Valium,
but her taste is up her...
What are you doing? Changing it.
She's been embalmed, Shiv.
Bits of her might fall off.
She'd never have picked
this. So? Stop it!
Jesus, you can see her bra!
Sorry.
It's just... it's her last...
I just want her to be seen
for who she is, you know?
No, I don't.
Christ!
Right. Gis a look at her.
Our side always make
fabulous corpses.
Like what they've
done with the blouse.
Very modern.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
A sandwich?
[JOE: ]There she is!
Uncle Joe! Sandwich?
Any men in London, Shiv?
Yeah, there are, Uncle Joe.
Want to get a move on.
Don't mind him! You can
have your eggs frozen now.
Did you ever think of that?
Great city, London. The
girls there'll show you...
What are you working on? I
mean, for money, not the art.
I'm in between things at
the minute, aunty Rita.
Thought you worked in a gallery.
Your mum says you
can't hold down a job.
[BERNIE:] What? I did not.
How many sherries has she had?
She's a desperate
alcoholic, you know.
Who? Who's an alcoholic?
Me, uncle Joe. She means me.
She's been off it six months.
Fair play to her.
And you're sure
you're an alcoholic?
Rita.
[RITA: ]She was always such fun!
If blacking out and ending up
in some stranger's utility room
makes you an alcoholic,
she can sign us all up!
[AGNES:] It's an
absolute disgrace.
Your grandmother never
touched a drop in her life.
She seemed very proud of
Shiv for having given up.
She was a real
inspiration, actually.
That you can have a
life without booze.
She always had a bit of a
blind spot for you, love.
We don't even know
half these people.
Don't you remember Carl's
funeral? I was eight.
Spent the whole feckin day
cutting bread into triangles.
All I remember
about Carl's funeral
was playing his Xbox while
dad howled in the bathroom.
I kept having to
turn up the volume.
He wouldn't cry like
that if I kicked it.
Can I ask you
something privately?
Mm-hmm.
They're running low.
Jesus! Our fingers are bleeding!
[DOORBELL] That's Rory!
Hi. Hey.
Your mum texted for more
crisps. You're great!
Are they still together?
Thirteen years.
Is he the only
guy she's shagged?
Ugh.
Gross.
Hi.
Go on, she won't bite.
So, what did you want to ask me?
Well, I was... Cheeky line.
What?
Cheeky line? No!
Jesus, Ant! No! Sorry!
I thought it was a code.
Just take these
inside, will you?
When you said you were bringing
her home I didn't think you meant
home home.
Have you never been
in a wake before, son?
[CAROLINE: ]Stop it!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Anthony. Mrs Corcoran.
What a surprise!
Come on in!
Jack, you coming?
[ANT:] Come on in!
[BERNIE: ]Jack!
I'm so sorry for your loss.
She was great old craic.
You're so good to come.
Famous artist!
We have another
artist in the house.
[MOBILE PHONE RINGS]
[JACK:] Work. Excuse me, Bernie.
[GUESTS SINGING "WILL
YE GO LASSIE, GO"]
♪ And the wild mountain thyme ♪
♪ Grows around the
blooming heather ♪
♪ Will ye go lassie, go? ♪
♪ And we'll all go together ♪
[ANT: ]So what? She's
lost another job?
[CAROLINE: ]Fuck knows.
Probably only came home to
bleed more money out of them.
You've to die or become an alcoholic
to get any attention in this house.
[ANT LAUGHING ]Oh, my
god. You're so hard.
[CAROLINE: ]Like it's not true?
[ANT: ]No, it's totally true.
You just don't want to say it.
[CROW CAWING]
You avoiding us or what?
Shiv!
Shit.
I didn't know you were here.
Bit rude. Staying
outside at a wake.
I was going to head
back in, but...
[CLEARS THROAT]
Then they started singing.
Jesus!
How long has it been?
Four and a half years.
Or something, yeah.
No!
Really?
Well...
You look great.
Yeah. You too, you...
You look great too.
Still tearing it up like
a mad thing in London?
Absolutely. [JACK: ]Good!
At least someone is.
Heard you had a big exhibition.
How'd it go?
Ehm... people came, sold a bit.
Got a write up in The Times.
That's great!
If you're into
that kind of thing.
What, success?
It's all bullshit.
If I had any balls,
I'd get out of here,
head to Eastern Europe.
What's stopping you?
Ehm...
You know...
My country needs me.
It needs one decent
fucking artist.
[JACK CHUCKLES]
You're still painting, eh?
Sort of, yeah.
Bit slow, lately.
All real artists are failures.
Thanks.
You're still that wild
little bitch you always were.
[MRS CORCORAN: ]Jack!
About time. I thought
we'd lost you.
Sorry, love. We had a sing-song.
[SHIV:] Thanks for
coming, Mrs Corcoran.
Thanks, love.
You around for a few days or...
Probably, yeah.
Let's get some drinks in.
I'll show you my studio.
Mm-hmm.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES
AND ENGINE STARTS]
[HONKING]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Am I in the right place? I'm
looking for Tom Sheridan.
[GUESTS SINGING]
Mina! You came!
[TOM: ]Sorry. Excuse me.
Sorry. Sorry for interrupting.
Ehm... Sorry, Rita.
Ehm... This is my
friend Mina, everybody.
[GUESTS: ]How are you? Hi.
Bernie. This is for you.
What is it?
A cactus?
[SHIV:] Acupuncture?
He's started Tai
Chi classes too.
Dad?
How did I not know this?
You haven't been here.
["I CAN SEE CLEARLY
NOW" PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT AUDIO OVER PA]
Ashley!
[LADY:] Great to see you.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hi, this is Caroline.
Leave a message.
Hey. I have landed.
I'm in arrivals.
Ehm...
Thought I'd grab myself some
breakfast.
Call me when you get this.
Ehm... No rush.
[INDISTINCT AUDIO OVER PA]
[PHONE RINGING]
[PHONE CONTINUES TO RING]
Is that the phone?
Hmm?
Landline?
Do we still have that?
It'll be Agnes and them.
Wanting to know what
time to come around.
For the food, I suppose.
Probably.
Vultures.
[INDISTINCT AUDIO OVER PA]]
Excuse me?
I... Ehm...
Are you ok?
Huh?
Am I hunching again?
No, you're not hunching.
You're drinking.
At nine in the morning.
Look, I'm not judging.
I'm the last person to...
I just...
I just thought maybe
if you wanted to talk?
You one of those religious nuts?
What? No.
Rob! One of those
religious nuts in again.
I'm not religious.
Why have you got those
pictures of the fucking saints?
No, these are prayer
cards. They're my granny's.
I can't enjoy a pint without
talking about fucking Jesus?
Ok, I was just trying to help.
You're the one who needs
help, harassing people!
I'm not doing that! Want
to talk about fucking...
I don't want to talk about fucking Jesus.
I don't give a fuck about fucking Jesus!
There's no need for that.
Be no Christmas without Jesus.
Sorry.[ CLEARS THROAT]
CAROLINE It's on
the first x-ray.
Yes, I'm sure.
Hairline fracture.
She's coming in this
afternoon to have a cast fit.
Tell Ollie to get his head out of
his arse and his tongue up hers.
You know what they're like.
Last thing we need is a lawsuit.
No, I'm not in today. No.
We've had a death in the family.
What the fuck?
Hi, sweetheart.
Who died?
[TOM: ]Ha.
How long have you been
in here? Couple of hours.
People will be calling.
[BERNIE:] We were having a quiet
moment with your grandmother.
You were wallowing.
[TOM] It's her mother.
She's allowed a
bit of wallowing.
It brings back
memories, that's all.
This is different. She was old.
Where's Ant? He's very upset.
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
Jesus Christ!
Ever heard of privacy!
Who's he?
Hi. I'm Mikey.
Our grandmother's corpse
is in the living room.
You might want to get
dressed. Shit! I forgot.
Oh my god. Is she like... dead?
Yes, Mikey. She is.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[DOOR OPENS]
Jesus. We're back to the famine.
Dead old lady a bit of
a buzz killer, was it?
[CAROLINE: ]Right.
What do we need?
Ehm... Something
that says death,
but also hope.
Carr's Water biscuits,
brie
booze.
What about Shiv?
[DOOR OPENS]
[CAROLINE: ]Oh, shit!
I'm so sorry. I
completely forgot.
Cheers.
Shiv!
Dad.
[BERNIE:] Sweetheart!
Did you just get in?
Caroline forgot to
collect me. Ah, no.
I was doing everything else!
What happened here?
Oh, just a little fall.
Caroline fixed me up.
You've lost weight.
No, I haven't. TOM: You have.
Hasn't she, Bernie?
You look great.
And your skin... Gorgeous.
Piss off. [TOM] No, it's
suiting you, this...
New... Ehm
lifestyle.
Isn't it, Bernie?
How long has it been?
Five months, 17 days and
six hours.
Wow. That is...
Very promising.
She in there? She
wanted to be waked.
I was thinking
if it's okay, I'd...
I want to say something
at the funeral.
About what?
Granny.
I don't think there'd be any
need. Do you think there would be?
No, god. No.
I'm not going to
be embarrassing.
She's been good to me
these last few months.
Her support... Of course, yeah!
And we're here to support
you too, this weekend.
Aren't we, Tom?
Absolutely, yeah.
Very much here to...
Right. We're going
to go to the shops.
For what?
Food. You don't have any.
I'm off gluten and dairy too.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
What? Why don't
you go with them?
And get what you need.
But I haven't seen Granny yet.
Well, it's not like
she's going anywhere.
We'll be in the car.
She's grieving.
Sorry.
It's a wake.
Stop looking at me like that.
[ANT LAUGHS] [SHIV:]
It's still me.
Yeah.
ANT: How's it going over
there? Other than...
[SHIV:] Good, yeah. I'm great.
You? Still working
at the restaurant?
Yeah. I have to stop doing
nights. It's killing me.
Maybe ease up on
the sessioning too?
Mmm?
Don't want to end up like me.
Are you coeliac? What?
The only people who shouldn't
eat gluten are coeliac.
It's a medical condition.
Anyone else is just an arsehole.
I went to a naturopath!
Of course.
Here's the rest of your stuff.
The 'gf' stands for get fucked.
Sorry.
We are going to be able to
enjoy ourselves at
this thing, aren't we?
Enjoy ourselves?
[TOM] With Shiv here.
Like... we can
still have a drink?
Course we can
still have a drink.
Can't we?
Whatever this whole
recovery thing is,
at least it's giving
her some focus.
She's got that job.
She seems more...
We can put up with her
for one weekend. Can't we?
Just don't get pissed.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Is that Aunty Ag?
Yeah. They're probably hiding.
[CAROLINE: ]Hi, Anty Ag!
Is no one home?
I've been here ten minutes. I
saw your father in the hall.
Siobhan! When did you get in?
What you've put your
poor mother through.
First your brother dying, now...
Ah. Agnes! Sorry. Bernie
and I were in the bedroom.
With a corpse in the house?
Disgusting.
[BERNIE:] Agnes!
You're early.
Granny's in there.
I'll have a sherry first.
[CAROLINE:] Is that all
yours? [SHIV: ]Yeah.
Just some art materials.
Needed somewhere to store them.
[CAROLINE:] Put
these in the kitchen.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE]
[CROW CAWING IN DISTANCE]
[BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE]
Who picked Granny's outfit? Mum.
I know, hideous.
Don't know if it's the Valium,
but her taste is up her...
What are you doing? Changing it.
She's been embalmed, Shiv.
Bits of her might fall off.
She'd never have picked
this. So? Stop it!
Jesus, you can see her bra!
Sorry.
It's just... it's her last...
I just want her to be seen
for who she is, you know?
No, I don't.
Christ!
Right. Gis a look at her.
Our side always make
fabulous corpses.
Like what they've
done with the blouse.
Very modern.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
A sandwich?
[JOE: ]There she is!
Uncle Joe! Sandwich?
Any men in London, Shiv?
Yeah, there are, Uncle Joe.
Want to get a move on.
Don't mind him! You can
have your eggs frozen now.
Did you ever think of that?
Great city, London. The
girls there'll show you...
What are you working on? I
mean, for money, not the art.
I'm in between things at
the minute, aunty Rita.
Thought you worked in a gallery.
Your mum says you
can't hold down a job.
[BERNIE:] What? I did not.
How many sherries has she had?
She's a desperate
alcoholic, you know.
Who? Who's an alcoholic?
Me, uncle Joe. She means me.
She's been off it six months.
Fair play to her.
And you're sure
you're an alcoholic?
Rita.
[RITA: ]She was always such fun!
If blacking out and ending up
in some stranger's utility room
makes you an alcoholic,
she can sign us all up!
[AGNES:] It's an
absolute disgrace.
Your grandmother never
touched a drop in her life.
She seemed very proud of
Shiv for having given up.
She was a real
inspiration, actually.
That you can have a
life without booze.
She always had a bit of a
blind spot for you, love.
We don't even know
half these people.
Don't you remember Carl's
funeral? I was eight.
Spent the whole feckin day
cutting bread into triangles.
All I remember
about Carl's funeral
was playing his Xbox while
dad howled in the bathroom.
I kept having to
turn up the volume.
He wouldn't cry like
that if I kicked it.
Can I ask you
something privately?
Mm-hmm.
They're running low.
Jesus! Our fingers are bleeding!
[DOORBELL] That's Rory!
Hi. Hey.
Your mum texted for more
crisps. You're great!
Are they still together?
Thirteen years.
Is he the only
guy she's shagged?
Ugh.
Gross.
Hi.
Go on, she won't bite.
So, what did you want to ask me?
Well, I was... Cheeky line.
What?
Cheeky line? No!
Jesus, Ant! No! Sorry!
I thought it was a code.
Just take these
inside, will you?
When you said you were bringing
her home I didn't think you meant
home home.
Have you never been
in a wake before, son?
[CAROLINE: ]Stop it!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Anthony. Mrs Corcoran.
What a surprise!
Come on in!
Jack, you coming?
[ANT:] Come on in!
[BERNIE: ]Jack!
I'm so sorry for your loss.
She was great old craic.
You're so good to come.
Famous artist!
We have another
artist in the house.
[MOBILE PHONE RINGS]
[JACK:] Work. Excuse me, Bernie.
[GUESTS SINGING "WILL
YE GO LASSIE, GO"]
♪ And the wild mountain thyme ♪
♪ Grows around the
blooming heather ♪
♪ Will ye go lassie, go? ♪
♪ And we'll all go together ♪
[ANT: ]So what? She's
lost another job?
[CAROLINE: ]Fuck knows.
Probably only came home to
bleed more money out of them.
You've to die or become an alcoholic
to get any attention in this house.
[ANT LAUGHING ]Oh, my
god. You're so hard.
[CAROLINE: ]Like it's not true?
[ANT: ]No, it's totally true.
You just don't want to say it.
[CROW CAWING]
You avoiding us or what?
Shiv!
Shit.
I didn't know you were here.
Bit rude. Staying
outside at a wake.
I was going to head
back in, but...
[CLEARS THROAT]
Then they started singing.
Jesus!
How long has it been?
Four and a half years.
Or something, yeah.
No!
Really?
Well...
You look great.
Yeah. You too, you...
You look great too.
Still tearing it up like
a mad thing in London?
Absolutely. [JACK: ]Good!
At least someone is.
Heard you had a big exhibition.
How'd it go?
Ehm... people came, sold a bit.
Got a write up in The Times.
That's great!
If you're into
that kind of thing.
What, success?
It's all bullshit.
If I had any balls,
I'd get out of here,
head to Eastern Europe.
What's stopping you?
Ehm...
You know...
My country needs me.
It needs one decent
fucking artist.
[JACK CHUCKLES]
You're still painting, eh?
Sort of, yeah.
Bit slow, lately.
All real artists are failures.
Thanks.
You're still that wild
little bitch you always were.
[MRS CORCORAN: ]Jack!
About time. I thought
we'd lost you.
Sorry, love. We had a sing-song.
[SHIV:] Thanks for
coming, Mrs Corcoran.
Thanks, love.
You around for a few days or...
Probably, yeah.
Let's get some drinks in.
I'll show you my studio.
Mm-hmm.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES
AND ENGINE STARTS]
[HONKING]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Am I in the right place? I'm
looking for Tom Sheridan.
[GUESTS SINGING]
Mina! You came!
[TOM: ]Sorry. Excuse me.
Sorry. Sorry for interrupting.
Ehm... Sorry, Rita.
Ehm... This is my
friend Mina, everybody.
[GUESTS: ]How are you? Hi.
Bernie. This is for you.
What is it?
A cactus?
[SHIV:] Acupuncture?
He's started Tai
Chi classes too.
Dad?
How did I not know this?
You haven't been here.