The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 2, Episode 6 - Going Steady - full transcript

Hello?

Oh, yes, she is,
Steve. Just a minute.

Mary, it's for you. Steve.

- Who?
- Steve.

Oh, thank you, Mother.

Oh, I could invite Maxine
and George Carrie.

They get along very
well with the Boyds.

I know, but they don't
get along with each other.

Isn't that phone for Mary?

Honey, I need someone
jolly to balance the Worths.

They're terribly sincere.



Mary, will you please
answer that telephone?

I'm coming, Daddy.

Is it considered fashionable
among the younger set

to keep boys waiting?

Poor Steve.

Mary always keeps him
dangling on the phone.

Well, it's dangerous. He
might want to report a fire.

Hello?

Yes.

Who?

Oh, Steven.

Oh, how nice of you to call.

Oh, well, as a
matter of fact, I was,

but it's not important.



Have you finished
your book report, dear?

Well, gee, Mom,
how can I do any work

with all this drivel going on?

You can take your books
upstairs to your room.

What, and miss the drivel?

Jeff, watch your language.

Your father is beginning
to pick up words.

Wednesday?

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, I, I, I never go
out on Thursdays.

Look, Steven, I, I hope
you won't get the wrong idea,

it's just...

Yes, Friday,
Saturday and Sunday.

Oh, no, I, I was thrilled
to hear your voice.

Please call again soon.

Goodbye, Steven.

Oh, Mother, he's such a bore.

Mary, why is it all the boys you
know are either bores or dreams?

Isn't there something
in-between?

You'd think he'd be
able to take the hint

after calling five times.

The poor guy never had a chance.

"Oh, Steven, I was
thrilled to hear your voice."

Gosh, Pop, can us, guys,
be protected against that stuff?

Oh, son, it's just part
of a boy growing up,

like falling off a bicycle or...

Girls.

When they smile
at you, watch out.

Would you two men mind
discussing the feelings

of women some other time?

Mary, honey, go,
finish your homework.

It's getting late.

- You, too, Jeff, go on.
- OK.

I've got nothing against girls.

Well, you've been more
than fair through the years.

Look, honey, if I
invite the Worths,

I think I'll invite the Craigs.

They both collect
porcelain jugs.

Yeah. And then,
for a change of pace,

you can invite Harry Davidson,

he does imitations
for the lampshades.

But, Alex, we can't
possibly have the Cromwells

and the Boyds, they'll get
into an argument about politics.

Oh, let me see.

I wonder how the Fishers
get along with the Boyds.

Honey, why don't you just
put all the names in a hat

and then, pick them?

Oh, Alex, successful
parties don't just happen.

It takes some ingredients...

Hello?

Yes, this is his mother.

Meredith?

Well, it's nice to meet you.

Yes, it is. Just a moment.

It's for you, and what's
all this arm-waving about?

I'm not home, I'm not home.

Well, if you're not at
home, tell her personally.

Hello?

No, homework.

I don't think so.

Because.

Just because.

All right. Goodbye.

That boy doesn't
waste a syllable.

You might have been
a little more gracious.

Well, gee, Mom, she's a pest.

Why encourage her?

Meredith. That's
a new one, Jeff.

Who is she?

Meredith Penner.
They just moved in.

What a pest.

Jeff, you've made
that point very clear.

Meredith sounded
very sweet to me.

What does she want?

She wanted me to go
to her party next Friday.

Well, that doesn't
sound too demanding.

Well, gee, Mom,

you go to a party

and you just happen to
say something friendly,

and the next thing you know,

you're going steady,
and that's not for me.

Penner!

Oh, that must be Don
Penner's little sister!

Oh, Mother! Don Penner!

A dream?

Oh! He's a rocket to the moon!

Oh, please, Jeff,
go to that party!

- If you're friendly with his
little sister— - I can't hear you.

Oh, Jeff!

I've been wanting to meet
Don Penner for weeks!

See, if you're friendly
with his little sister,

then, well, that gives
me the perfect opportunity

to just casually say...

I'm going to lock
myself in my room!

- Oh, Jeff, please
do me a favor— - No!

Oh, please!

- Just a little favor— - No!

Jeff, let me in.

Poor Mary.

She's at Jeff's mercy and all
because he doesn't like girls.

It'll pass.

Give him two or three
years or two or three weeks.

If Mary has anything
to say about it,

it'll be two or three days.

Now, well, I intend to
remain neutral in this civil war

and I advise you to do the same.

I can't.

I have emotional
ties on both sides.

Alex, I've seen evenings
fall absolutely flat

because there wasn't a proper
chemistry between the guests.

Well, give me a
copy of your guest list

and I'll take blood tests.

- No!
- Oh, please, Jeff!

- No!
- Please, just this one favor!

There's no use
trying to bribe me!

Oh, Jeff! Come on!

Persistent, isn't she?

I'll catch them on the next lap.

- No!
- This is ridiculous!

- No!
- I'll even buy you a present!

I'm not going to sell
myself for a measly present

that I won't even get me.

Oh, Mother, he isn't being fair.

Make him go to the party.

Jeff, why don't
you go to the party?

It might be fun.

Gosh, Mom, why do you
always have to take her side?

Oh, I'm not taking sides.

Your mother has
relatives in both armies.

To think I used to
wheel you in your buggy

when you were a baby.

How about the time you
pushed me down the stairs?

Oh, honey, that was an accident.

Oh, no, she tried to kill me.

You never should have told him.

Jeff, all you have to do
is go to Meredith's party,

so I, I can casually say to Don,

"My brother and your
sister are good friends."

Well, can't you
just casually say,

"My brother thinks your
little sister is a big nuisance"?

Mary, we can't force
Jeff to go to the party

if he doesn't want to go.

Oh, naturally, you'd
take his side of it, Mother.

I'm not taking sides.

I, I'm a neutral
observer for Switzerland.

I'm declaring an armistice
on this whole subject

until breakfast is over.

- Oh, but, Daddy!
- Peace.

- Please?
- No!

- Just this one favor!
- No!

Oh, Jeff! Come on! Let me in!

Ooh.

Oh, hello, dear.

Hi, Mommy.

Is something wrong?

Oh, it's just Jeff.

To think I used to rock him
to sleep when he was a baby.

- Don Penner?
- Hmm-hmm.

Well, honey, it's perfectly
all right to be introduced

by a mutual friend.

Oh, Mommy, there's a kind
of a boy you're dying to meet

and, well, you just
die if he knew it.

And if someone introduced
you, he would know it?

Once upon a time,
I was 14 years old.

Was there a boy?

Hmm-hmm. His name was Ralph.

What did he look like?

Oh my.

He was 8 feet tall and he
could walk through brick walls.

Well, how did you act when he
was in the same room with you?

Casual.

I shook.

Ralph.

Did he ever ask you for a date?

Yes, he called
one night and, um,

invited me to a party.

Were you casual?

Oh, extremely, I fainted.

Well, how did you ever
get over your crush on him?

It was at the party.

He, he wore a green tie and,

well, somehow, he shrunk 3 feet.

Oh, honey, you'll find
some way to meet him,

so he won't know
he's being introduced.

Oh, but, Mother, there's a
dance a week from Saturday.

Honey, there'll be other dances.

All right, honey,

I'll talk to someone who
has a lot of influence with Jeff.

- Are you busy, dear?
- Oh, come on in.

Oh, how's your guest list?

Oh, I'm shuffling
it around a bit.

You want something?

Honey, would you
have a little talk with Jeff,

you know, sort of man-to-man?

So soon? I thought I
had a few years to go?

Oh, you have,

but I can talk to Mary because
I was once a 14-year-old girl,

but Jeff needs someone who
was once a 12-year-old boy.

Hmm-hmm.

You know, I've never pried
into that period of your life.

You want to tell me about it?

I can sum it up in one
glorious word, "Ralph."

You think of him often?

- Every time I see a green tie.
- I understand.

What do you want me to do?

Talk Jeff into going
to this little girl's party?

Hmm-hmm.

It would make Mary very happy.

You know, there's some
kind of a dance coming up.

If you can do it
without sacrificing Jeff's

- masculine pride, of
course— - Hmm-hmm.

- You know him.
- Very well.

Let's see.

"Jeff, there are male crocodiles

and there are
female crocodiles."

Hello?

Oh, hi, Steve.

Oh, no, of course.

I'm always glad
to hear your voice.

No, no, I'm sorry.

I always come straight
home from school.

My mother expects me.

No, I don't exactly have a
date. It's just kind of understood.

Hmm-hmm.

Oh, really?

Jeff, it's me.

Come on in, it's unlocked.

Well, need some help?

Just $7.95 for a new motor.

Hey, I thought you're going to
do some work around the house

and earn it.

Oh, I can wait. My
birthday is in three months.

That's what I call
planning for the future.

Jeff, uh, Mary is, uh...

Did she send you up
here to work on me?

Not exactly.

I've been appointed
to a peace commission.

Uh, see, actually, Jeff, uh,

Mary's got a crush on
this Penner boy and...

Why? He looks just as
goofy as the rest of them.

Well, maybe, to you,
Jeff, but not to Mary.

Why?

Well, because she is
older and you'll find, Jeff,

as you grow up that, uh, uh,

your response to people
is, is different because,

well, there, there's an emotional
element that enters into it

and, uh, well, Mary
is just at the age...

Pop, are you trying
to tell me something?

You may need this piece.

Uh, Jeff, let's put
this on this basis.

Um, why don't you
do your sister a favor?

Well, why doesn't
she do me a favor

and stay out of
my personal life?

Jeff, in this family,
we try to help people.

You'll find that helping
people pays off in the long run.

Can you advance
me the $7.95 now?

Oh, now, you, you seem
to be missing the point.

Well, why?

I do Mary a favor
and you do me a favor,

and the family is
helping each other.

No deal.

You've got to do it because
you understand the reason,

not because you're
going to make a profit.

Gee, Dad, look at the
sacrifice I'd be making?

Now, you can skip
the hearts and flowers.

Oh, and don't count on that
new motor for your birthday.

You may get a
green tie, instead.

You know, once
when they were little,

they fought for a
half-hour over a paper bag

that I brought onions home in.

Oh, you should have
brought home two bags.

The next time, I did,

and they fought for an
hour over who got which bag.

Well, honey, parents can
only comfort themselves

with one thought,
"This, too, shall pass."

Honey, I know they're
nice reasonable children,

but Don Penner is no paper bag.

Mother!

Mother, Jeff is going
to Meredith's party!

He's, he's telling her
at school tomorrow!

Oh, honey, that's wonderful.

There, you see.

Now, if you don't force, Jeff,
he's a very reasonable child.

Uh-huh.

Now, you get two
desserts for dinner tonight,

for being so nice
to your sister.

Well, I figured, if I could do
my sister a favor, why not?

A noble act.

How much did it cost you?

Oh, well, I gave Jeff
$7.95 for his electric motor,

but... well, I, I was
planning on giving it to him

for his birthday anyway.

Out of the goodness
of his heart and $7.95,

Jeff made a deal
to go to the party.

Well, I offered to go
to the party for nothing,

but Mary just gave me the
money because I was cooperative.

If you want an extra piece
of cake for dessert tonight,

it will cost you 35 cents.

Hi, Meredith.

Hello.

Mind if I eat my lunch here?

It's school property.
I can hardly stop you.

Gee, Meredith, you're
acting awful strange.

You got a cold or something?

And how would you expect
me to behave, Jeffrey?

Uh-oh.

When girls start
calling you, "Jeffrey,

you're in trouble.

What have I done?

Only rejected me.

Huh? What does that mean?

It means, that you treated
me over the telephone

as if I was some pest
that was chasing you.

Well, gee, Meredith, how did
you ever get an idea like that?

I wouldn't call,

"No. Just because,"
and "Goodbye,"

a charming conversation.

Well, my older sister was
listening and I was nervous.

I was thrilled to
hear your voice.

I'm not sure I can believe that.

Well, gee, Meredith,
you've got to, honest.

Around our house,
since you've called,

we've talked about
nothing but your party.

- Really?
- Well, sure.

My older sister, Mary, is
even more excited than I am.

Do you think I'm pretty?

Well, sure.

Very pretty?

Gorgeous.

Would you like a peanut
butter sandwich, Jeff?

Sure. Would you
like a hardboiled egg?

Will somebody answer the phone?

I'll get it.

Oh, if it's Steve, tell
him I'm in the shower.

Hello?

Oh, hi Zack.

Well, you got to tell me.

Is that what
everybody is saying?

Well, sure, Zack, I know
you wouldn't say that.

Bye.

Jeff, what, what's the matter?

You look green.

Honey, what's
the matter? Tell us.

I'm ruined.

Just because I'm going
to Meredith's party,

the whole school says
we're going steady.

Poor Jeff.

No, don't feel sorry for him.

Jeff going steady is a disgrace.

It's a betrayal of
everything he stands for.

No, he set his own trap.

Well, darling, I don't
approve of his ethics,

but he is unhappy.

Yeah, but actually,
he's not going steady.

I know, but the whole
school thinks he is.

The stigma is there.

Jeff, please?

I'll return the electric motor
and give you your money back,

but I'm not going to the party.

But we made a deal. I paid you.

It's against the law
to buy human beings.

Oh, Mother and Daddy,
he's not being fair...

All right, all right.
Sit down. Both of you.

Sit down and listen.

Now, remember, we
love you very much.

Yes, we do,

and that's the last kind word
you're going to hear tonight.

Jeff, you accepted the bribe.

And, Mary, you offered a bribe,

so that makes you
equally responsible.

But, Mother, I didn't
mean it that way.

I just loaned Jeff some money.

Hey, how am I going to face
the fellows at school tomorrow?

You're going to lose face
and you're going to lose money.

The only one who acted
in good faith is that little girl.

And, Jeff, you promised
to go to the party.

Now, you wouldn't
want her to feel bad.

Well, she won't.

I'll do something terrible,
so she's going to hate me,

then everybody
will be on her side.

Oh, no.

We have a contract here in which
one side is motivated by greed,

the other by ambition,

but unfortunately, we
have an innocent third party,

so we're going to
go through with it.

All right. You both
go to bed now.

- Good night.
- Good night, sweetheart.

- Good night, Jeff.
- Good night.

- Good night, Daddy.
- Good night, honey.

Don't forget! We still love you.

Well, uh, I just didn't want
them to think it was personal.

Hi, Jeff. How was school?

Can we move to
another neighborhood?

You thought you could
change your name

and start a whole new life?

Oh, Jeff, it's not that serious.

What does "Going
Steady" mean anyway?

What does it mean?

It means you lose your freedom.

That bad, huh?

Sure.

When I saw Meredith today,

she looked at me
like she owned me

and introduced me
to three giggling girls.

Zack patted me on the back,
but he couldn't say a word.

The guys looked at me,
like I sold out to the enemy.

Well, honey, it's
mostly your imagination.

No, it isn't.

Would you like a piece of cake?

On the house?

No, thanks.

I'm going to find a desert
island where there are no girls.

Oh, cheer up, honey.
Nature's been very kind.

Children have great
recuperative powers.

Who knows?

Maybe someday,
Jeff will even like girls.

Isn't Jeff going to be late?

I'm afraid his
heart isn't in it.

He's aged in the three
days he's been going steady.

I feel like I'm sending
him off to the dentist alone.

Jeff, oh, you look beautiful.

Handsome.

Of course. Handsome.

We're supposed to be civilized.

They want you to get all dressed
up to go to your own execution.

Jeff, I'll bet you
go to the party,

you'll have a wonderful time
and you'll be glad you went.

How much do you want to bet?

Well, honey, if you
go with that attitude,

you won't have a good time.

So what?

That's the only good
thing about tonight.

Hello?

Yes, she is. Just
a moment, please.

Steve.

Mary, Steve's on the phone!

Honey, do you feel all right?

Yeah.

You know, the day we played
in the Little League Finals,

I had to get a strep
throat, but tonight,

I have to feel good.

Well, life's little
ironies, Jeff.

Would you like me to drive you?

No, thanks, Dad.

I'll walk around the
block a few times,

maybe the party
will break up early.

All right.

Here's the present.

Thanks, Mom.

- Mother!
- Yes?

Oh, Mother, I'm
going to the dance.

- I'm so happy!
- Oh, with Don?

No, with Steve!
Oh, he's a dream!

- Steve's a dream?
- Yeah.

Now, where did I get
the idea he was a bore?

Honey, I, I'm happy
that you're happy,

but what happened to Don?

Oh, I met him this
morning. What a bore.

- Don is a bore?
- Yeah.

He's one of those
boys who look dreamy

until you talk to them
and then, they just blah.

You can't tell the players
without a score card.

Well, Mother, you remember
what happened with Ralph?

Well, the same thing
just happened with Don.

Ralph?

Hey, when did you
find out about Don?

Oh, I talked to
him this morning.

You know, Steve is getting his
dad's sports car for the dance.

This morning?

And you let me suffer
all these hours of torture?

Well, at least, I don't
have to go to the party.

Jeff, now, wait a
minute. You promised.

But Mary's paid off. I don't
have to be nice anymore.

Now, Jeff, you
and Mary are even,

but Meredith is still
the innocent bystander.

I think you'd better go.

- I think so, too. Come on.
- Oh.

Mother, when you have a
minute, will you come upstairs

and check my new dress,
and make sure it fits all right?

- Yes, dear.
- OK. Thank you.

Children.

Do you know what may
ruin Jeff's whole evening?

What?

If he enjoys
himself at that party.

Hello, honey, how did it go?

It was terrible.

Her mother smiled
at me all night.

Maybe she likes you.

I don't know why.

I never smiled back.

You know, they
played Spin the Bottle.

Oh, did you play?

Me?

I walked around the
block until it was all over.

Lester Prax swooned
over Meredith all night.

I ignored her.

Why doesn't she get
her hooks into him?

Well, Jeff, for some reason,

which you will
understand some day,

little girls are mad for
boys who ignore them.

Well, gee, Mom, how
long can this go on?

She wants me to go over her
house and do homework with her.

I got my own life to lead.

Well, honey, maybe you
can explain to her tomorrow

very diplomatically, of course,

that while you
like her very much,

you have so many
outside activities

that you won't have time.

Oh, what if she
cries or something?

Then, I'll have
to go on with it.

Oh, poor darling.
It's your fatal charm.

Hi, Meredith.

Hello, Jeff.

Uh, Meredith, I, uh,
want to talk to you.

I want to talk to you, Jeff.

I hope you'll understand
when I tell you.

Well, you see, well...

Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! I'm
going over to Zack's!

Did you talk to Meredith?

She beat me to it!

She hopes I won't be too hurt.

She's going steady with Lester

because he's much
more dependable. Zowee!

He's taking that pretty hard.

I think he's just laughing
to cover up his joy.

Look, honey, if
we have the Boyds,

we can't have the Grangers
and if we don't have them,

they are so close
to the Craigs...

Darling, darling, you're
painting yourself into a corner.

Now, they're all
perfectly nice people

with normal social
idiosyncrasies.

Come on. Let me do it.

What you need is the logical,
incisive mind of the male.

Now, look.

We invite the Grangers,
the Craigs and the Bordens.

Nah, Harry and Jim haven't
talked since that golf match.

The Hubbles.

Oh, they can't
stand the Olivers.

Now, we get the
Bradshaws and the Bordens.

Oh, then we'll have to
cross out the Cromwells.

All right. Look, we'll
start all over again.