The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 2, Episode 38 - Cool Cat - full transcript

A seemingly stray cat follows Jeff home, and the family votes to allow him to stay. Turns out the cat is female, and slowly brings her family of kittens into the house. Jeff & Mary give the kittens away just as Alex finds they are pedigree.

Let's see. I canceled
the dentist appointment.

I've got to get Mary
excused from Glee Club.

Oh, I'll write a note to the
milk man tomorrow and...

- Hi, darling.
- Hi.

I'll be at the club luncheon.

Oh, I've got to
get the things for...

What did Mrs.
Bushley call about it?

Oh, her baby had been
crying all afternoon,

- refused to take the bottle.
- Oh?

So, I told her
what to do about it.

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.



You told her what
to do for the baby?

Well, I had to.
You weren't here.

Well, thank you, Doctor.

Tell me what did you
prescribe for a crying baby

with apparent loss of appetite?

Penicillin? Sulfa?

No.

I merely told her to try punching
some more holes in the nipple.

Oh, it's that simple?

Yeah.

Look, there's a law against

practicing medicine
without a license

and there's a very
good reason for it.

So, from now on, leave
the doctoring to me.



But I wasn't doctoring.
I was mothering.

Furthermore, loss of
appetite can be a symptom

of something much more serious.

So, the next time you decide...

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mrs. Bushley.

Oh, he finished the bottle?

Good.

Oh, and cooing like a lamb.

Would you mind repeating
that, Mrs. Bushley?

Cooing like a lamb.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Oh, well, that's all right.
Anytime, Mrs. Bushley.

Goodbye.

What were you saying, Doctor?

Lambs don't coo; they bleat.

Let go of the paper,
Mary. I want to look at it.

Let go yourself.
I want to see it.

Oh, I brought it in, didn't it?

That doesn't mean you own it.

- Come on, give it to me...
- Just give me the paper.

Isn't there a friendly way?

Well, sure. Let her
give me the paper.

- I'll settle it.
- You see, smarty?

I'll take the paper.

Gee, Dad. All I want to do
is look at the sports page.

Daddy, can't I have
the teenager section?

Why didn't you say
that in the first place,

then you could have
shared the paper.

You can't share
it with each other.

I don't see why I
should share it with you.

But I'll be glad to
share it with you.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Oh, let me hold him.

You will not. He's my cat.

Is that so? He followed me home.

- Come on.
- You gave him to me.

I can take it
away. I'm stronger.

Now, come on. Let me look at it.

Jeff, but that's no way
to talk to your sister.

Well, gee, Mom. Look at Dad.

I'm looking.

Well, Mary and I
both want the paper,

but Dad got it because
he's the boss of the house.

That is not the reason.

And he's not the boss.

Well, that's not the question.

You know, Jeff,
maybe, you're right.

Maybe, I'm not setting
you a good example.

Huh?

You see, you and Mary
just don't seem to understand

the give and take of daily life.

Oh, he understands
the take, all right, Daddy.

What are you getting at, dear?

Democratic procedure.

In questions affecting
the whole family,

each member should
have an equal vote.

The decision of the majority
is binding on all of us.

No complaints, no sore losers.

- It sounds okay to me, Dad.
- All right.

Put down, Harry, and sit down.

The meeting of the Stone
family will come to order.

Now, I would like to
move that a certain cat

which followed Jeff home
from school yesterday

and is now on the
process of making himself

a permanent
member of the family,

be taken back to where
he was first seen by Jeff

and left there.

Oh, no, Daddy. You
can't take Harry away.

Oh, Mary, you can't
love him that much.

You didn't lay eyes
on him until yesterday.

Besides, he probably
belongs to somebody,

so I vote to take him back
to where he was found.

I vote for that, too.

I vote to keep him.

Well, I... I don't know.

I've got nothing against Harry.

I don't care much
one way or the other,

but of course, later,

when we vote on whether or
not I get that rocket launcher...

Oh, I'd vote for that, Jeff.

- You would?
- Uh-huh.

Then, I vote to keep Harry.

It's outrageous. You
can't sell your vote.

Well, I'm not selling it, Mom.

I'm just looking out
for my best interest.

Now, I'm afraid
it's quite legal, dear,

even though it's
highly unethical.

Mary, remember that advance
you wanted on your allowance?

Oh, you mean, I can have it?

Maybe.

Oh, I changed my vote.

Let's put Harry back
where we found him.

Good. That's it. The
meeting is closed.

Hey, wait a minute. What
about our rocket launcher?

I'm sorry. The
meeting is closed.

That will have to go in the
agenda of the next meeting.

I think I'll start
a reform party.

- Good morning, Mom.
- Good morning, honey.

Boy, you sure are
pretty, smell good too.

Well, thank you, dear.

Do you feel all right?

Well, sure. Hey, where's Harry?

- Good morning, Mama.
- Good morning, sweetheart.

Hmm, breakfast sure smells good,

but why not, you're
a wonderful cook.

My goodness, everybody
is so happy today.

Uh-huh. Where's Harry?

I haven't seen him
since your father left.

Where did Daddy go so early?

Out on a house call.

He'll be back in a few minutes,
to have breakfast with us.

Well, this is about
where Jeff first saw you.

I hate to do this, Harry, but you
must have a home somewhere.

Now, be a good guy and
stay there this time, hmm?

I'm sure your girlfriends
must miss you.

Hi, honey.

- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Daddy.

Good morning, Jeff?
Good morning, Mary.

Anything serious
with the Jackson boy?

Barry? No strong as an
ox except on exam days.

Arithmeticitis is
bothering him today.

Arithmeticitis?

A chronic ailment of boys

who would rather
play ball than study.

Oh, don't look at Jeff, Mother.

He doesn't pull
those kind of tricks.

My beautiful sister speaks
nothing but the truth.

Oh, by the way, Mary, I'm
going to the library after school

and I'd be happy to drop
off those books for you.

Oh, well, thank you, Jeff.
That's very kind of you.

I can't believe my ears.

When did they reach this
plane of peaceful coexistence.

Last night after our vote.

Mary and I had a little talk.

Oh, a caucus in the
smoke-filled anteroom?

It started because Mary
got to feeling unhappy

that we dropped
Harry from the ticket.

Well, you see, he
did sort of adopt us.

Anyway, we decided that
we wanted a new ballot.

Yes.

All those in favor of
keeping Harry say I.

I's have it.

A fine couple of congressmen
you two would make,

switching your
votes all the time.

We're the power block.

Well, now, wait a minute.

There are a couple of precincts
that haven't been polled yet.

- I... nay.
- Nay.

You mean, we're deadlock.

No, because the cat is
already out of the bag,

as the saying goes.

I object.

Me, too.

Now, wait a minute.

Last night, we got a
majority vote on this.

Boy, I didn't know
democracy moved that fast.

Usually, it does, but the
process is slightly speeded up

where cats are involved.

Did he jump out of the car?

Did he say anything?

Number one, I gave
him a little push.

Number two, he
didn't even say meow.

Boy, anybody who'd push
cats would beat his children.

There's a thought worth
some consideration.

Well, Daddy, I just
think it's fair that...

All right, all right.
Finish your breakfast.

Harry is gone and
the subject is closed.

Easy on the milk,
I'd like some, too.

Uh, first come, first serve.

Jeff, don't be
rude to your sister.

Well, gee, Mom. She's
always telling me what to do.

What about that nice
caucus you had last night?

It just proves you
can't do business

with a greedy politician.

All right, Thomas Jefferson,

pass the dish you just
prepared to your sister.

Thank you.

All right. I didn't
really want any.

Besides, I'm late now.

You can take the books
to the library yourself.

That's just fine.

Oh, I guess, I'm
not hungry either.

Children will never
cease to amaze me.

A few minutes ago, we were
living in political harmony,

and now, we're back
on the two-party system.

The party of the first part

can't stand the party
of the second part.

Honey, do you think it was a
good idea to give them the vote?

Yahoo! Harry!

- Oh, Mother! Harry!
- Harry...

Hey, Dad, Harry came back.

He made pretty good time, too.

Uh-huh. Oh, Daddy, please.

Can't Harry stay with us?
He wants to live with us.

Yeah, Dad, can we
keep him, please?

He certainly seems
like he wants to be here.

And besides, if we don't agree,
you kids will never get to school.

Now, hurry up. You're late now.

- Oh, wonderful.
- Oh, great.

- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Mom.

- Bye, honey.
- Goodbye.

Oh, by the way, Mary,

I have time to go
to library after all.

- Are these the books here?
- Oh, yes, wonderful, Jeff,

and I'll help you with
that composition tonight.

You will? Oh neat.

It was very nice of you to
let the children keep him.

It seems to me that Harry
casts the deciding vote.

Harry, make yourself at home.

Oh, I'm sorry, Harry.

I got to get used
to you, come on.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, dear.

- You're home early.
- Uh-huh.

I want to see how Harry is.

Well, he's not in
the refrigerator.

He's outside.

I got you some
new cookies today.

Really? Where?

- On the sink.
- Good.

Not there.

You close the door
and I'll find the cookies.

Okay.

- Here they are.
- Good.

Hey, how about some
ginger ale with these cookies?

No, ginger ales
spoil your dinner,

but you can have some milk.

How come milk never
spoils my dinner?

Hey, speaking of dinner,
what about Harry's?

I got him some
food at the market.

You think of everything.
Good old Mom.

I appreciate the good but
you can leave out the old.

Here's Harry now.
What do you say?

You want to go outside?

Okay.

I just let him out.

Maybe, he's playing games.

There you go, Harry.

Well, here you
are, safe and sound.

Oh, thanks a lot for the
ride in your new car, Jerry.

- Well, it sure beats walking.
- Yeah. Bye-bye.

Is that you, Mary?

Yes, Mother.

You're home early, too.

Oh, I know, Mother. Jerry
Hager drove me home.

How did he get his
father's car during the day?

- Oh, it's not his dad's car.
- Well, that's right.

It's his very own convertible

that he got for
his birthday today.

That's right. How
did you know about it?

Are you kidding?

Everybody knew about
it before second period.

- Isn't it fabulous?
- Yeah.

Where's Harry?

I let him out for some air.

I like the cut of your jib.

Well, hi, Harry. I
thought Jeff let you out.

Oh, you want to go out?

When you finish your
milk, rinse the glass

and start your homework, dear.

Okay, Mom.

What's the hurry?

It's just possible your father
will take us to movie tonight.

Oh, great.

You know, the Crown
has the Evil Monster

and the Haunted Mansion.

The Rosalie has
the Face of Love.

- Oh, dear.
- Hi, darling.

How's my girl? Had a busy day?

Oh, nothing
unusual, just routine.

I'm glad I can't say the same.

Three new patients today

and a couple more scheduled
before the end of the week.

Oh, great.

It sure is.

Now, we may be
able to make that trip

to the medical
convention this summer.

Oh, Alex, that sounds wonderful.

Yeah.

But how about
the movies tonight?

Okay.

All right, come on.

Hey, Mom! Hey, Dad!
Come here. Quick!

Jeff, what is it?

What is it, Jeff?

Did you discover a
new hydrogen bomb

and it was about to explode?

You'll explode
when you see this.

Have a look.

Aren't they cute?

Oh, aren't they cute?

Well, how did Harry
get these here?

I'm afraid you
mean Harriet, dear.

Now, you tell us.

Well, I don't know
about it, honestly.

Well, you can be sure I
have nothing to do with it.

Don't look at me.

Well, they're here.

She must have brought
them from her other home

wherever that maybe.

Now, the question is, now,
what do we do with them?

Oh, but they're so cute.
Let's just keep them here.

Oh, not in my room.

Harry... I mean Harriet
is okay, but the others,

they got to go, at
least out of my room.

All right, Jeff. They
can stay in my room.

Honey, Harry, I mean,
Harriet was one thing,

but this is a pretty large
family to acquire all at once.

That's right. Now, let's
be sensible about this.

You can keep
Harriet if you want to,

but the kittens, we
have to get rid of.

Besides, it's easier
to give away kittens

than a full-grown cat.

Yes, and the sooner, the better.

Tomorrow will be twice as hard.

A long time since we've
had such a quiet dinner.

The silence gave me a headache.

I worry when Jeff
has nothing to say.

Well, he still had
Harry and after all,

that's all I wanted
this morning.

Do you think it was a
good idea to let them go out

with the kittens after dinner?

Oh, honey, as you said yourself,
if they'd kept them overnight,

it would have been
worse tomorrow morning.

You're right.

Since you're one of mom's
dearest friends and such a nice lady,

I came to you first.

Thank you, Jeff, but
really, I don't think...

Well, you're so kind and gentle.

I know you'd be
good to Harriet's kitten.

You're right, I
would, if we had her.

Well, this is a very
valuable kitten.

I really don't want
to give her away.

Well, then, that's fine
because I can't take her.

But you just said
you'd be good to her.

If I had her. But we don't.

I'm sorry, Jeff. But
the answer is no.

No? Jerry, I'm surprised at you.

Everybody loves a kitten.

How could you possibly say no?

I don't know. It
just came to me.

What's the matter,
Jerry? Don't you like me?

Oh, sure, but you're
a girl not a kitten.

Why did you bring me one?

Well, because it's your birthday
and this is my present to you.

No, but Mary, I...

You mean, you
don't like my present?

- Oh, sure, but it's just...
- Then, happy birthday.

Thanks loads.

Hi, Mr. Schultz. Boy,
am I glad to see you.

How are you, Jeff?

I was afraid you'd be closed.

Boy, I'm sure glad you're open.

And what would you like?

I like to make you
a very happy man.

Yeah?

Jeff, I like you and
I like your family,

but why did you bring me a cat?

Because we like
you too, Mr. Schultz.

Besides, it's
only a little kitten.

Kitten, cat, what's
the difference?

There's a whole lot of
difference, Mr. Schultz.

Anyway, what did
you bring it here for?

Because I know the two
of you would get along.

Two of us? What?

Well, you and Genevieve.

What do I need a cat for?

Kitten.

All right. What do
I need a kitten for?

I'm very glad you asked
that question, Mr. Schultz.

First of all, Genevieve
is not a kitten.

Genevieve is the
kitten, the kitten for you.

I don't want a kitten.

You can learn to
love her, Mr. Schultz.

Look at those cute
little baby blue eyes

and that cute little dimple
and that cute little smile.

Yeah. But what would
I do with a kitten?

Anything.

Well, this cat has
got the heart of a lion

and it's gentle as a pup

and it's strong as a
horse and eats like a bird.

Besides that, Mr. Schultz,
Genevieve loves you.

Oh no.

Our children are not giving
away hundred-dollar bills.

Honey, they're out
giving away kittens.

That's what I mean.

You're not making sense.

You better call around and get
your children home right away.

My children? What
have they done?

Look.

"Hundred-dollar
kittens missing."

"Yesterday these pedigree
kittens were mewing

for their missing
blue ribbon Mother.

Today, the mystery deepened
as the kittens also disappeared."

- Oh, no.
- That's what I said.

Darling, we got to go
out and get them home.

I said that, too, darling.
We're not making any progress.

Well...

- Well, we did it.
- We sure did it.

It was a tough
fight, but we won.

We're afraid you would.

What do you mean?

It was your idea,

and now, you sound as if
we did something wrong.

Your father is not blaming you.

But there is something wrong
and we're all in this together.

Well, it sounds
terrible, Mother.

Will we go broke or something?

Not quite, but
somebody is out $400.

What your father
is trying to say

is that each of those
kittens you gave away

is worth $100.

There goes my
allowance for two years.

Well, maybe, we
can get them back.

Nope.

Not after the snow job I did.

They think those kittens
are smarter than Lassie.

Yeah, I guess I laid it
on pretty thick myself.

And besides that, we
can't be Indian givers.

We have to do something.

Obviously, we should
contact the owner.

I don't think we can just
call the owner and say,

"We gave away your
four valuable kittens."

Look, I move we all go
to bed now and we'll...

we'll figure out something
in the morning, hmm?

- All right. Goodnight, Mommy.
- Goodnight, sweetheart.

- Goodnight, Daddy.
- Goodnight, honey.

- Goodnight, Jeff.
- Goodnight, Dad.

Does this mean we have
to give Harriet back, too?

I'm afraid so, dear.

Don't worry, Mary.

I'm sure Harriet will come and
visit us every once in a while.

Good morning, Mary.

Good morning, Jeff.

Good morning, Harriet.

Hey, where's the
first lady of the house?

You mean our cook,
dishwasher, housekeeper,

problem solver?

Uh-huh. Where's Mom?

I don't know. I...

- Good morning, honey.
- Good morning, Daddy.

Good morning, Jeff.

Oh, Daddy, I have an idea.

Maybe, we could
find Harriet a husband,

have a new litter of kittens
and return those to the owner.

That's a brilliant idea, sis.

Why didn't I think of that?

I'm afraid you're overlooking
one very important fact.

What's that?

Well, the new kittens would
belong to Harriet's owner

just as much as the
ones we gave away.

Now, I know why
I didn't think of it.

By the way, where's your mother?

Oh, we haven't
seen her this morning.

She wasn't here
when I came down.

Maybe, she overslept, like
she's always telling me not to do.

She hasn't overslept
since you two arrived.

As a matter of fact, she was up
this morning earlier than usual.

Where can she be?

There's Mom now.

Why she went out so early,

it isn't like your mother to
leave without saying anything.

Jeff, Mary, Alex, come here.

What have you got?

Well, I think this is the
solution to our problem.

Aren't they cute?

They don't look like Harriet.

Well, of course not. I
got them at the pound.

That's my clever wife.

Oh, I get it, Mom.

When we go and
get the kittens back...

Oh, well, and instead of
leaving them empty-handed...

We can give these
kittens in exchange.

And they're cute.

So, we won't be
Indian givers after all.

Mother, you're our country's
first real female political genius.

Yeah, Mom. You get
my vote every time.

The I's have it.

Oh, you're working
on the family budget?

Yeah.

I must say you did a good
job on Operation Harriet.

Only costs us $12.

Thereby saving the family $388.

That's right.

Dear, I saw a
dress the other day

and thought it was very
expensive at the time,

considering all the money
I've saved for the family,

- you're supposed...
- Hold it, hold it.

You made your point, dear.

Would you settle for
dinner out tonight instead?

Well, just a minute. Jeff?

- Huh?
- Come here, dear.

How many times do I have to
tell you the front lawn is a mess.

Now, before you another
thing, I want it raked and mowed.

Just a second, Mom. Hey, Mary!

I hereby call a meeting to vote
on the postponement of the issue

that has just been
presented to the house.

Oh, great. What are
we voting on this time?

- Well— - Just a moment.

I have decided to disband the
democratic process immediately.

But, Dad, you can't do that.

Oh, yes, I can.

I've just taken
over as dictator.

Bravo, I vote for that.

You can't vote
in a dictatorship.

Outside, young man, get to work.

- I'll give you a hand.
- Thanks.

Have you really decided
to become a dictator?

Not really, dear.

I just thought it
would be a good idea

if we converted temporarily
to a political climate

where parents can give orders
and children can obey them.

Hey, Mom, Dad! Look
at the cute little puppy.

Don't tell me he
followed you home.

Oh, no, Mom. It's Johnny's.

Oh.

Well, what's his name?

It's not a he, Dad. It's a she.

Her name is Marnie.

- And when she has puppies...
- We get to have all of them.