The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 2, Episode 22 - A Place to Go - full transcript

Jeff, don't chomp
apples in my ear.

What are you putting
that junk on for?

It looks horrible.

Nobody asked you.

I'm telling you.

Thanks.

What it's supposed to be?
Fascinating or something?

You think guys like
you with red claws?

How do you think you'd
look with red teeth?

- Mother.
- That's right. Call Ma.

Mother, will you make
Jeff stop being such a cad...



Oh, what do you
think you're doing?

Look what you've done.
Nail polish all over my dress.

Mother! Mother!

Oh, why can't you two get along?

What is it?

Nail polish all over my dress.

How in the world
did you do that?

Oh, I didn't do it. He did it.

Well, Mom, she spilled
it on herself practically.

Oh, no. That is a fit.

Mother, look, I was
holding the bottle.

And all I do is turn
and hit her arm.

It was an accident again, Mom.

Jeff, what am I
going to do with you?



Hello, dear.

Are you girls playing games?

- It was Jeff.
- Jeff?

Your son, the all-American boy.

- It was an accident, Dad.
- Oh, I'm sure it was.

Oh, accidents always
seemed to happen with him.

- Alex, you're going to have
to talk-— - Now, let's be calm.

Let's be reasonable
and let's be fair.

Fair?

Jeff, exactly how
did that happen?

Well, Mary was holding the
bottle kind of careless like.

- Oh, Jeff.
- Now, like this.

- Oh, get it to me.
- I just want to show dad.

Now, let's be
reasonable about this.

It was just an accident.

- Outside.
- But, Dad.

Outside.

And don't come
back 'til dinner time.

What do we want
with him at dinner?

Darling, would
you rather have tea.

I'm making more.

No, thanks. Just some pop.

Hey, uh, what's the
conspiracy going on in there?

What makes you
think it's a conspiracy?

Whenever two or more
women are gathered together

something is cooking,

usually, some of
the woman's goose.

Well, I see you've
had a haircut.

What makes you say that?

Because every time
you go to the barbershop,

you come home with a whole
new philosophy on women.

- Next time, tell him not to
take so much off at the sides.
- All right.

And for your information we were
having a constructive discussion

of the club's program.

What program?

Well, that's just it.
We haven't got one.

Eleanor was just saying
what this club needs really

is a reason for existence.

Have you ever considered
just going out of business?

Maybe we ought
to start a campaign

to stamp out barbershops.

Say, where's Jeff?

Gee, I don't know. I
haven't seen him all day.

I know. Hasn't it been divine?

Gee, I hope he's managed
to find something to eat.

Oh, don't worry about that boy.

He can eat off at the
country side for weeks.

You know, if
somebody had a penny,

we could go down
to the drug store

and see how much
the three of us weigh.

We did that yesterday.

We weigh 287 and
a quarter pounds.

Now, we should be
careful about investments.

Oh, yeah.

Come on think you guys.

There must be
something we could do.

Well, I just think that if the
women's club is to continue,

it should be doing something
besides drinking tea.

What would you suggest?

I don't know but something.

How about a raffle?

That's a wonderful idea.

Remember our last raffle?

How about an
anti-noise campaign?

Well, an anti-noise
campaign is an interesting idea

except we don't have
very much noise, do we?

That's the trouble.
It's pretty quiet.

Let's just sit here and think.

There's always
the dancing school.

We could go down
there, look through window

and make them sore.

He just wants to go down
there because he got a case

on Lucille Bostwich.

I have not. I hate her.

- Oh, sure.
- Hey.

Tell me I want to go down there.

I got an idea.

You couldn't drag me down there.

Shut up, will
you. I got an idea.

What is it?

The house.

It's closed up.

That's what I mean.

Gee, guys. Maybe it
belongs to somebody.

Don't be crazy. It's been
boarded up for a year.

I'm a novice to be
busting in like this.

Who's busting in?
This board is loose.

It's practically
falling off anyway.

Come on, give me a hand.

Come on pull, will you?

You guys are always
getting me into trouble.

Be quiet and pull.

See. I told you it was loose.

Hey. You know, this will
be a great place for us.

Place for what?

Well, a place to go, you
know, get away from people.

Yeah. They'd never find us here.

We could stay here for weeks.

It's awfully dark.

Well, that's what's
good about it.

Listen how it echoes.

Hello!

Don't yell you dope. You
want somebody to hear us?

Who's going to hear?

You know, what we need here?

Something to sit on.

You know, like
some boxes or stuff.

Good idea. We could
bring some comic books,

- make a real sharp.
- Yeah.

We can even roast
hotdogs in the fireplace.

- Hey. You know,
we got something here.
- Yeah.

Let's not talk to anybody.

Yeah, we'll make it a
secret. Our own secret club.

I think we should
get out of here.

Will you stop worrying?

Nobody is going
to bother us here.

Yeah, this is our hideout.

Hey. Listen.

Listen to what?

Oh, you're whacking us.

Shh.

Somebody's at the backdoor.

Out the window,
let's go. Come on.

Hey. Get back here, will ya.

Come on. Let me out.

All right, you boys.

What are you doing here?

Don't give him your right name.

Why not?

I don't know. You're
not supposed to.

Don't you ever watch television?

All right. You,
what's your name?

Uh, my name?

Your name.

You do have a name, don't you?

Oh, yes, sir.

It's...

It's Wilbur.

Wilbur what?

- Wilbur Keppler, sir.
- Hey!

All right. What's your name?

Uh... Jeff Stone.

Are you Dr. Stone's son?

Oh, no, sir. He is.

Wilbur Keppler
is Dr. Stone's son.

Uh-huh.

What's yours?

My what?

Your name.

McDermott.

No. That's my name.

Now, what's yours?

I can't think.

You just sit right down
there until you can.

Now, you boys know
what you're guilty of?

Well, no sir.

Breaking and entering.
Do you know what that is?

No, sir.

Well, you should.
You just did it.

Do you know what
the penalty for that is?

I told them we
shouldn't have done it.

When we want you to
turn into state's evidence,

we'll ask you.

In the meantime,
you just sit down there

and be thinking of your name.

What's your father's
phone number?

My father?

Uh, well, sir, I don't think
he is home right now.

What's your father's number?

My father, uh,

Hillsdale 42936.

You dope. Why did you
give him my number for?

It's the only one I could
think of that wasn't mine.

I told you we
shouldn't have done it.

Myra, would you read
that list to me again?

Anti-noise campaign.

No. That still
doesn't make sense.

Donna, oh... excuse me, ladies.

Did you say this iron steams
too much or it doesn't steam at all?

Oh, it steams fine.
It just blows fuses.

Oh. I'll get it.

Thank you, dear.

- Maybe we should raise the issue...
- Dr. Stone speaking.

- of removing those street car
tracks - Yes, this is his father.

And then, we could get
them to put in shrubbery...

What's he doing at
the police station?

And... police station.

I see.

Alex, what is it?

I see.

What's wrong?

I see.

What is it, Alex?

I see.

Alex, say something.

Well, look, I'll
tell you, after all,

this is his first offense,

why don't you release him
in my custody... or better still,

how would you like to keep
him down there for a while?

I was afraid you wouldn't.

All right. Turn him loose
and I'll give him the talking too.

Yeah. Fine. Thank you.

Right.

It seems our youngest has
been apprehend by the law

along with a couple
of accomplices.

- What for?
- Breaking and entering.

- Breaking and-— - Entering
the old boarded Willabee house.

Oh, Alex, you scared
me half to death.

Why would he do
a thing like that?

Donna, I don't think Jeff
really meant to do wrong.

Bad company, that's
what leads them astray.

I'm afraid the company
included your son.

Wilbur?

He is in the pokey, too.

Wilbur. It's so unlike him.

Well, this isn't
like Jeff either.

Oh, it's like all boys.

An empty house is a challenge.

To a boy, an empty house
is what a red flag is to a bull.

But then, why did
they arrest them?

Well, they weren't
arrested exactly,

just reprimanded
which they should be.

Boys should have a
place they can break into.

Well, not break into.

They shouldn't have to

but they should have a
place they can call their own.

Then they wouldn't be
tempted by these houses

lying around empty.

You're right. Now, take Wilbur.

Boys are like anybody else.

They get into mischief
if I may say so.

The way women get
into running raffles.

They don't know what
to do with themselves.

- Alex.
- No offense ladies.

- You've just given me an idea.
- I have?

Why doesn't the
women's club take this up?

What?

Finding a place for
the children to go,

a youth house.

I think it's a wonderful idea.

So do I. A what?

A youth house.

We'll find a house
and we'll fix it up.

The Willabee place. Why not?

It's just standing there empty.

The Willabee place
would be perfect.

I mean, the boys would
practically move in anyway.

It will keep them
out of mischief.

They'll love it.

A youth house.

Alex, Jeff's little escapade
may turn out to be

one of the luckiest things
that's ever happened in this town.

Yeah.

Yeah, our son maybe the first
person that would ever have

a statue erected to him
for breaking and entering.

Good afternoon, ladies.

- Hello, Mr. Sarples.
- Mrs. Stone a pleasure.

You know Mrs.
Keppler, Mr. Sarples?

Know her?

Mrs. Keppler and
I are old friends.

I had the pleasure of
being instrumental in finding

Mr. and Mrs. Keppler
their present residence.

He sold us our house.

How are you enjoying it?

Well, since you
asked, the roof leaks.

Well, these little
things happen.

- Why won't you sit down, ladies.
- Thank you.

Now, what can I do for you?

Mr. Sarples, we've
come to congratulate you.

Well, thank you very much.

Congratulate me for what?

You had been designated
by the Women's Club

as a public benefactor.

Well, I'm always
very happy to do...

In recognition of the
fine work you've done

with the young
people of this city.

Well, as I say I'm always...

Work? What work?

Well, actually, it
hasn't begun yet.

We thought we should
start with the youth house.

Youth house?

You mean, a place
for kids to go to?

You see. He is way ahead of us.

That's why we came to you.

I mean, if we're going
to have a youth house,

naturally, the first thing
we need is a house.

Naturally.

That's where you come in.

And you've come to
the right place, ladies.

I can say in all modesty
there's no agent in town

that has the complete
listings that I have.

Now, I can think of a place-...

We had in mind the
old Willabee house.

Oh, that, I'm afraid,
is not for sale.

Oh. We weren't
thinking of buying it.

What were you thinking of?

Having it donated.

Donated?

Well, not as a gift.
Just let us use it.

After all, it's just
standing there empty.

An eye sore, a public
nuisance practically.

I'm sorry ladies.

I'm afraid the owner
would never agree to it.

- But with your influence,
we thought-— - I'm sorry.

I would like to
help you if I could.

Mr. Sarples, that
house is just an invitation

to every boy to break into it.

That's right.

And if they do it
just once more...

It's just standing there empty,

and yet you say
it's not for sale.

I guess, I can do what I
like with my own house.

So, you own it.

Well, I didn't say I didn't.

Mr. Sarples, that new state
highway they're talking about,

it wouldn't go through
your property, would it?

That was supposed
to be a secret.

Of course, Mr. Sarples,

we understand your
position perfectly.

You do?

Then you see why I can't
let you have the house.

Well, that's all right.

Now, don't you
be concerned, now,

when the story breaks
in the newspaper.

You have my assurance
that your side will be presented

with absolute fairness.

The newspaper?

Of course, a project
like our youth house

will be discussed in
all the newspapers.

But don't worry.

I'm sure everyone
will understand

that it isn't that you're
against children.

It's just strictly a
matter of business.

Wait.

But only for one year.

Thank you, Mr. Sarples.

We knew we could
count on you, Mr. Sarples.

So you see, Mr. Heiser,
it's a very worthy cause.

Well, I'm sure that it is.

Do you know Mr. Wales
who owns the furniture store?

Supplied the very
furniture we're sitting on.

Oh, well, he is going to
donate some furniture.

And Mr. Bingham who runs
the sporting goods store,

well, he is going to donate
some sporting goods.

Oh, well, that's very
nice, Mrs. Stone,

but why have you come to us?

Oh, where can you go for
money if you can't go to a bank?

Mrs. Stone, you don't
seem to understand

the principle of banking.

We're in the business of
lending money not donating it.

We have no appropriation for...

- Your bank invests money,
doesn't it?
- Well, of course...

You're just asking you're
to invest some money

- in the children of this city.
- But-...

I mean, after all,
you have piles of it

just sitting around in
the safe doing nothing.

All we want is just a little
of it for a very worthy cause.

Mrs. Stone, that money in
the safe isn't just sitting there.

It's...

Well, you see, the
principles of banking,

we invest our
depositors money and...

We lend the money out at
a certain interest rate and...

We try to put
money to work and...

Perhaps you'd allow me to
make a personal contribution.

Well, that would be very
nice of you, Mr. Heiser.

I can't tell you how
much we appreciate this.

It's deductible, you know,

so don't hesitate to make
it as large as you like.

Thank you very much, Mr. Heiser.

Now, how about
something from the bank?

- Hi, daddy.
- Hi, honey.

Easy, George.

Watch the wood work, dear.

Yeah.

Be careful.

Watch your fingers, Mr. Heiser.

It's a lot easier
running a bank.

Yeah. Right over
here, dear, I think.

Oh, do you think so?

I thought on the other side of
the fireplace would be better.

Oh. Well, all right,
if you think so.

Oh, no. You're right.

It's better in front
of the windows.

Well, again, George.

Wait.

You know what this room needs?

A touch of color.

Drapes maybe?

How about those drapes I
took down when I redecorated?

I still have them.

That would be wonderful.

And then, we...

Alex, put this over down.

You look silly just
standing there with it.

No, not there, dear. Over there.

You know, we could stand a
few more lamps in this room.

Look what I got, a contribution
from Ye Old Gift Shoppe.

Oh, Eleanor, they're
just wonderful.

Oh, this would be an
ideal place for one of them,

don't you think?

Perfect.

Dear, hold this a minute
so I can take a look.

How about putting the
other one right over here?

We have lemonade and
doughnuts for the boys.

By the way, where are the boys?

Now, that you've asked,

they don't seem
to have arrived yet.

Mary, have you
seen your brother?

Well, the last time I saw
him he was shining his shoes

and pretty sore about it, too.

Well, fights like a tiger if he
has to wear anything but jeans.

Well, that's boys.

- Sugar?
- Please.

You've really done
a marvelous job here.

Well, we wanted them to have
a place they could call their own.

I wonder where those boys are.

Well, darling, how did it go?

Honey, how did it go?

Oh, honestly, Daddy, your son...

I'll put water on for
the tea, Momma.

What happened?

If I get hands
on Jeff, I'll... I'll...

Any particular
reason or just, uh...

He deliberately stayed
away. Deliberately.

I know he did.

And it was no accident, all
the others stayed away, too.

- Well, sweetheart...
- I noticed you weren't there.

Darling, I have this
little practice I'm running.

Excuses. Nothing but excuses.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Jeff, you come back down here.

Look at your shirt.
Look at your trouser.

Alex, look at him.

Does he look any different?

Those are his good trousers.

- They are.
- They were.

And where's your jacket?

Oh, I know where it
is, Mom. Don't worry.

Well, where is it?

Oh, I know. Don't worry.

And why weren't you at the
youth house this afternoon?

Tell me that.

Gee, Mom, I didn't
know we had to come.

I mean, I didn't
know it was an order.

Well, of course,
it wasn't an order.

But, we fixed the
house for you, you know.

Yeah, sure.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Well, I know how hard you
and all the other mothers worked

and everything but...

But what?

Well, the place was fixed
up just like a real house.

Well, it was nice, but
you know how it is.

You got to be careful
about breaking things

and tracking in mud.

Well...

I see.

That still is no excuse
for not showing up today.

Oh, we started to
come over, Dad.

Honest, we did,

but, you see, Wilbur and
me and the rest of the guys,

we ran into Zach
on the way over.

And then you went where?

Well, you read about it in the
paper about those seven guys

who are going to
shoot to the moon.

Where did you go?

Well, I'm getting to it.

Well, you're certainly
taking the long way around.

Well, you see, some of the
guys, they found this old pipe

and just big
enough to crawl into.

I guess, you'd call
it a culvert, though.

Well, some of the guys
found this old culvert.

Where?

Well, at the dump.

- And it's a real
sharp —What dump?

The dump.

You know, where they dump stuff.

You spent the
afternoon at the dump?

Well, that's where the pipe is.

Well, I mean the culvert.

You see, you crawl in
there and it's real sharp.

No kidding.

And it's like you're
an astronaut.

You know, one of
those space capsules.

Only Wilbur, he is kind of fat,

he got stuck in there,
and he panicked.

We had to pull him
up by the sneakers.

Well, so, we made
Wilbur the ground crew,

and Eddie and me
and Zach and Charlie

all took off for the moon.

Well, you see, the idea
is you crawl into one end

and you stay there
a couple of hours,

and then you crawl
out the other end

and you're on the moon.

And what do you do while
you're crouched in this pipe

for two hours?

Well, just go beep-beep-beep.

I'll go wash up, Mom.

I give up.

You might as well.

How can a youth house
compete with a dump?

It's no joke, Alex.

The Women's Club is
going to be the laughing stock

of the whole town.

Oh, I didn't say that.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mr. Sarples.

Oh, I'll bet he's heard already
and wants his house back.

Yeah.

I see.

Uh-huh.

Well, just a minute, please.

Mr. Sarples says the
highway is going through

sooner than they expected.

Now, he knows he promised
you the place for a year,

but he wants to know
if there's any way

you'll let him out
of his agreement.

Let me talk to Mr. Sarples.

Hello.

Yes, Mr. Sarples.

We'll let you out
of your agreement

if you'll move the house
for us to another place.

You would?

Oh, fine.

What?

Yes, I do have
another place in mind.

The city dump.

Yes, Mr. Sarples, the city dump.