The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 2, Episode 1 - That's Show Business - full transcript

I'm in, Mother, I'm in!

I'm in! I made it!

That's, that's wonderful,
but what is it you're in?

I'm so excited,
I can't even talk.

I think you're
doing pretty good.

Oh, Jeff. I'm in... Oh, Daddy!

Oh, I'm so excited!

I'm going to be in
the school show!

They, they picked six of
us, three boys and three girls.

- Congratulations, honey!
- Oh, thank you, Daddy.

What are you going to do,



play the target in a
knife-throwing act?

No, Jeff. I'm going to dance.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Oh, that's like a return
on an investment.

All those dancing
lessons weren't for nothing.

Yes.

I think it'll be a fine
experience for you, honey.

Oh, thank you, Daddy.

Of course, there's a lot
of hard work ahead of me,

rehearsals and
fittings, all that stuff...

Oh, well, that's all part of it.

Yes.

I thought maybe until
the show was over...

- Here it comes.
- Jeff.



I was wondering, could I be
excused from dishwashing?

Well, honey, why
don't we wait and see

how busy you'll actually be?

Oh, but, Mother, it's not just
a question of how busy I am.

It isn't, huh? What
else is involved?

Well, Daddy...

I mean, can you imagine a
movie star washing dishes?

I can.

- Can you?
- Yup.

Don't take it too hard,
sis. That's show business.

All right, all right.
Take five, huh.

Hi, Kenny.

Uh, uh, hi, hi, Mary.

What are you doing down here?

Why didn't you go up in the
stage with the rest of the kids?

Th-th-th-th-th-they're
in, in the show.

Well, so are you.

N-no, no, no, I'm not.

I-I-I'm-I'm-I'm not
going to be in it.

Th-th-that's what I'm
waiting t-to tell Mr. Cooper.

Well, why did you try
out in the first place?

I-I-I-I didn't w-w-want to.

My-my-my mother made me.

Listen, Kenny.

I used to be just as
scared as you are,

maybe even scareder,
but not anymore.

Well, I used to jut
die at the thought

of talking to more than
three people at one time and...

Oh, the idea of being
in a big show like this,

it was just too much.

Well, uh, uh, uh, I-I-I've
seen-seen you in action.

You-you-you-you do fine.

Well, that, that's since I
got my lucky coin, Kenny.

Here it is.

It's never failed me, Kenny,
and I'm sure it'll work for you.

Gee-gee, Mary, uh, uh...

You know, Kenny, a
lot of the biggest names

in show business
carry lucky charms and,

and when you find
one that works for you,

it, it's something
to hold on to.

I-I-I-I do-don't-don't
know how to thank you.

Well, don't, Kenny,

just come up on the stage
with the rest of the kids.

Mr. Cooper, kids.

Oh, these windows
are our disgrace.

I've been wanting to make
new drapes for months.

- Well, honey, will you let go?
- Oh.

I don't think my patients
care very much about

the décor in my office.

All they want to know is,
do they have to take a shot,

can they stay home
from school and...

I get 94 inches.

Ninety-four and I'll allow
six inches for an overlap.

It may not mean
anything to your patients,

but it certainly does
to their mothers.

Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy. What's up?

- Oh, hi, honey.
- Hi, sweetheart.

- Oh, new drapes for the office.
- Oh.

How did your rehearsal go?

Oh, it was great, but
we didn't do much.

Mr. Cooper just wanted
us to get acquainted.

He said he'd give us
our parts next time.

You know, I did something awful.

Well, I'm sure Mr. Cooper
didn't expect much

on your first rehearsal.

No, I-I don't mean that. It
was about Kenny Bruce.

He, he's that
short, real shy boy.

Oh, yes, the Bruce
children are patients.

Oh, yes, I remember.

Well, now, what was
this terrible thing you did

to Kenny Bruce?

Well, Kenny was, was real
scared and he wanted to quit,

but, well, I talked him
into staying in the show.

I, I gave him a lucky coin.

Why, Mary, that was
a very nice thing to do.

But it wasn't
really a lucky coin.

It, it was just an old
penny I found in my purse.

I, I told him it
was a lucky coin.

Honey, you stumbled
upon one of the trade secrets

of the medical profession.

That plain, ordinary penny,

which you prescribed for
Kenny Bruce was a placebo.

- A what?
- A placebo.

It's a pill made up of
harmless ingredients

that sometimes works
wonders with imaginary ailments.

So, you see, you
need not feel guilty

about that little deception.

As a matter of
fact, I'm delighted

you talked him into
sticking with the show.

It would be good for him.

Well, that's a relief.

Kenny stammers, doesn't he?

Hmm, no, not all the time.

Oh, it's worse at times
of emotional stress,

but I think the experience
of being in the show

will be good for him.

It might help him a great
deal, build his self-confidence.

Hi, everybody!

- Hi, Jeff.
- Hi, Jeff.

What's going on?

This looks like a court marshal
scene I saw on TV last night.

Nothing that concerns you.

How does a nice,
intelligent boy like Kenny

lose his confidence
in the first place?

Oh, I suppose there's
a simple answer to that,

but I think a contributing
factor is an adorable little sister,

who's pampered too much.

Well, how about an
adorable big sister,

a star of show business?

You know, I opened the
paper to read the comics,

and you know what I find?

My adorable big sister
with her adorable big smile.

- Hey, let's have a look.
- Oh, dear.

- That's me!
- Oh, honey,
you look wonderful.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

What I want to know is, will all
this destroy my self-confidence?

First, we'll see if it
destroys your appetite.

Then, we'll worry
about your confidence.

Mommy, can I cut this
out for my scrapbook?

- Yes, do, by all means.
- Oh, thank you.

- Darling, would you help me
with the roast, please?
- Oh, sure.

Oh, oh, Jeff, wait a minute.

What do you want?

Well, I, I was wondering if,

if you would take my turn
doing the dishes tonight.

Well, I suppose you
have to be at rehearsal,

working your little
footsies to the bone.

No, I want to experiment
with a new hairdo.

Oh, brother.

I suppose we can't let Ms.
Twinkletoes of Hilldale High

get dish pan hands.

Thanks a lot.

Now, now, wait a minute.

Tomorrow night, you have
to promise to take my turn.

Why?

Because I'm going to be
busy having my head examined

for taking your turn tonight.

Mother, may I help you?

Now, there's no
need in telling you

that we've got a lot
of work ahead of us

and with little luck and a
great deal of cooperation,

I feel we'll come up
with a first rate show.

I don't see anything else.

I guess that's
about all for the day,

but let's be all on
time tomorrow, huh?

Oh, uh, will the six
dancers stay for a moment?

Tomorrow, we're going to
pair down the dance numbers.

We have them worked
out for three couples.

That'll be Bill Stanford
and Janey Grant,

Paul Wilson and Rose Bagley
and Kenny Bruce and Mary Stone.

- Hey, great.
- Yeah.

I assume you've all met.

If you haven't, you better
get acquainted by tomorrow.

That's all.

Your lucky coin is
working for me already.

Oh?

About getting
you for my partner.

I consider that a very
lucky break for me.

Well, thank you, Kenny.

Are you coming?

No, not right now.
Excuse me, please.

Mr. Cooper?

Yes, Mary, what's on your mind?

I-it's about the-the
pairing of the dancers.

You probably didn't notice,

but Kenny Bruce is
much shorter than I am.

Oh, he's not much shorter, Mary.

Well, anyway, Janey
Grant is shorter than Kenny

and her partner is Bill Stanford,
who-who's taller than I am,

so... well, I thought if, if
Janey could dance with Kenny

and I could dance with Bill, we,

well, we'd all look much better.

You know, Mary, that
arrangement had occurred to me,

but I thought that the arguments
for pairing you with Kenny

were stronger than
the arguments against it.

Uh, I don't know what you mean.

Well, I've noticed how well you
and Kenny had been getting along.

Well, but, Kenny has
been getting along good

with everybody
these last few days.

Yes, I've noticed that,
too, and I'm delighted,

but, you know, I didn't dream
you'd have any objection

to Kenny as a partner.

Oh, well, i-it's not that I
object to Kenny personally.

I understand.

I just hope Kenny will.

Then, you'll switch us around?

Hmm-hmm.

If you insist.

You, uh, you do
insist, don't you?

No, I... I-I don't
insist, Mr. Cooper,

but, well, I, I, I just
think it would be better.

Yes, I suppose, it
would be, for you,

if, if you feel that
way about it, but,

uh, I'm sure it'll make
Kenny miserable.

Shall I, uh, make the switch?

No.

Let it stand, Mr. Cooper.

Bye, Mary.

Goodbye.

Oh, it just isn't fair.

Mr. Cooper made
me feel like a rat

deserting a sinking ship.

Mary, I'm afraid I side
with Mr. Cooper in this.

I think he was very wise to
consider Kenny's self-confidence

more important than your vanity.

Well, Daddy, what
about my confidence?

I've never known you to suffer
any lack in that department

and after all, don't worry about a
boy being an inch shorter than you...

It's more than an inch,
Daddy. I tower over him.

Oh, you don't tower over him.

Of course not.

Although I do think
it's more than an inch.

Yes, and it's a very
important inch and I,

I really don't see how it's
going to help his confidence

if we look ridiculous together.

Oh, you won't look
ridiculous, dear.

Oh, you, you both
would be moving around.

You're not going to be
standing back to back

for people to measure you?

You're the only one who
will be aware of the difference.

Then, you don't think
other people will notice?

Not very much.

I guess I'm stuck then.

- Good night, Mother.
- Good night, sweetheart.

Good night, Daddy.

Good night, honey.

There's a rumor you're going
to give Kenny Bruce the brush.

First of all, it's none
of your business,

second of all, it's not true

and third of all,
how did you find out?

I've got agents everywhere.

You were eavesdropping.

Well, if you were, Jeff,
it's not a nice thing to do.

Well, I just happened to be
sitting on the steps last night

while Mary was crying
her poor little heart out.

And you call that eavesdropping?

Yes.

We have to learn to
respect each other's privacy.

It's just as important as
respecting each other's confidences.

OK.

But it would help me
to resist temptation

if you don't lower your voice

when you have
something private to say.

If I don't lower my voice?

Well, sure.

You see, when I
hear loud voices,

I just turn them off,

but when I hear low voices,
I get curious and I listen.

But whatever you heard, Jeff,

don't repeat it
outside this family.

My lips are sealed.

But are you going to
sell Kenny down the river?

No, I'm going to stay
and to be his partner.

Good.

Well, I wish it made me as happy

as it seems to make
everybody else around here.

I know you're worried
about being taller than Kenny

and I think I have
an idea that may help.

What?

Cut off the top of your
head. You'll never miss it.

Mother, do I have to face this
monster so early in the morning?

Why don't you
both do less talking

and finish your breakfast?

Well, I got another idea
to solve your problem.

Jeff, I'd love not to hear it.

Put Kenny on stilts.

Now, goodbye.

- Goodbye, sweetheart.
- Goodbye, Mom.

Oh.

Look, honey, he doesn't mean
half the terrible things he says.

No, you know, Mother, he
may just have given me an idea.

- Bye, Mommy.
- Goodbye, sweetheart.

Hold it!

All right. Now, look.

Don't get so
involved with your feet

that you stop
listening to the music.

That's all I have to say.

That's all today
for the dancers.

Let's get the
singers up here now.

You're really getting that
routine down now, Kenny.

Thanks, Mary.

Having you for a
partner makes it easy.

Well, maybe, it's
the other way around.

I know that you helped me.

I never danced this well before.

Well, I, I guess it couldn't
have worked out better then,

could it?

Not for me.

You know, Kenny, I
read an article once

in one of those show
business magazines.

It said that most of the
stars, oh, the men, I mean,

wear special lifts in their
shoes to make them look taller.

You-you-you-you want
me to-to get shoes with lifts?

Oh, no, that's not what
I mean at all, Kenny.

It doesn't make
any difference to me

what kind of shoes you wear.

I just thought you'd
be interested to know

what the professionals wear.

Oh, oh.

I mean, I, I certainly wouldn't
suggest something like that.

Well, that would
be entirely up to you.

I-I-I-I understand,

but-but-but-but if I got
the sh-shoes with lifts,

I, uh, uh, I-I-I-I-I wouldn't
be-be shorter than you.

Well, I've got to
go change, Kenny.

I'll see you later. Bye!

B-b-bye.

Jeff. Jeff, are you ready?

I have been ready all day.

Aren't you dressed yet?

All except my coat,

and I've been known
to struggle into a coat

in a matter of seconds.

Let's hurry, dear.
It's almost 7:30.

Mary, what's keeping you?

Now, look, it's very important
that we remain perfectly calm.

I mean, it would
be very bad for Mary

if we showed any nervousness.

All right. We'll be as
cool and placid as, uh,

as you.

That reminds me, now,

I don't want any teasing
by either one of you,

is that clear?

Mary, hurry!

Darling, will you take it easy?

The show doesn't
go on until 8:30.

There's plenty of time.

But-but the cast has
to be there at 7:45.

- In that case, I'll get my coat.
- Yeah, go, hurry, darling.

- How am I going to live
through two nights of this?
- Jeff, shh.

Hey, Mary. How
do you feel, dear?

I feel fine.

Oh, I'm sick.

You're a doctor, do something.

- Is it a fluttery feeling
in the pit of the stomach?
- Hmm-hmm.

Well, there's only
one cure for that,

curtain going up.

Come on, honey.

You know, if she's scared,

you can imagine how
Kenny is going to be.

Oh, Jeff.

Look honey, as
soon as you get there

and backstage with
the rest of the children,

you'll be all right.

No, he's right.
Kenny will be a wreck.

I'm shaking all over and I'm
not even the nervous type.

That's a temporary
condition, honey.

- You know, the biggest stars feel
the same way on opening night.
- Yes.

All right. Here we go.

Let's go. Come on, Jeff.

That's show business.

Hi, Mr. Cooper.

Hi, Mary. My, you look nice.

Now, there's nothing
to be afraid of,

everything is going to be fine.

Just don't get nervous
and keep calm.

No, Bill! Not there!

Hi, Kenny.

H-hi, Mary.

Are you scared?

Yeah, me too.

Well, my dad
said it will all pass

as soon as the curtain goes up.

Oh, Kenny, you got them,
the shoes with the lifts!

Y-y-y-yeah.

I-I-I-I-I ha-I had them made.

The-the-the-the-they were
just finished this afternoon.

Oh, Kenny, that's
just wonderful.

Excuse me. I've got
to go put my hat on.

Hi, dear.

Look, I brought
you your favorite.

No, thank you,
Mother, I'm not hungry.

Oh.

Well, look, darling.

I, I know it seems
impossible to you now,

but actually, in a
few weeks from now,

you can treat the whole thing
as a joke and in a few months,

you won't even
remember it happened.

Well, then, I guess
we have different ideas

about what's funny.

Oh, darling, I, uh, I
know it wasn't funny.

It, it, it was a
shattering experience

and I'm not going
to try to minimize it,

but that was last night.

- Tonight's performance...
- Tonight's performance?

Well, yes.

Mother, y-you don't
seem to understand

there's nothing could drag
me to that theater tonight.

I-I want to move
away from Hilldale.

I never want to show
my face here again.

Well, if we can't
move away right now,

I'm going to wear a heavy
black veil over my face,

so nobody will notice me

well, until I'm old enough
to move away myself.

That heavy black veil
will certainly keep people

from noticing you.

So, please don't even talk
about tonight's performance.

All right. We
won't talk about it.

But please try to eat
something, honey.

Honestly, Mother,
I'm not hungry.

Well, I'll leave the
tray here anyway.

I have some things
to do downstairs.

I'm afraid it
wouldn't do any good

to convince her
to go on tonight.

Why not?

Well, because I don't
think there's a chance

of getting Kenny within
miles of that auditorium.

He's probably more
upset than she is.

Well, I suppose you're right.

- Well, they look pretty good.
- Hmm-hmm.

I'm a little disappointed
that Mary is so filled

with self-pity.

She doesn't seem
to be aware of the fact

that Kenny was hurt, too.

Well, maybe that's our fault.

You know, we, we kept
pushing Kenny's problem on her.

After all, Mary isn't
Kenny's mother.

Nor his doctor.

I'll get it.

Oh, come in, Kenny.

Mrs., Mrs. Stone,
I-I-I'd like to see Mary.

I'll tell her you're here.

Do you like to sit down?

Mary?

Mary, Kenny Bruce
is here to see you.

I want you to go
downstairs and talk to him.

Mother, I told you,

I don't want to see
anybody in Hilldale

and least of all, Kenny Bruce.

Look, Mary.

There are a lot of people
who share in the responsibility

for what happened last night,

Mr. Cooper, your
father, me, you...

Me?

Well, honey, you suggested
the lifts that caused him to fall.

The only really innocent
victim in this whole situation is,

is Kenny Bruce,

who didn't want to be in
the show in the first place.

Look, your, your father and I
will be very disappointed in you

if, if you humiliate him
further by refusing to see him.

I think she'll be
down in a minute.

Excuse me.

Hello, Mary.

Hello, Kenny.

I know apologies can't help,

but I just want you to know,

I'd give anything in the world

for last night not
to have happened.

I hope Mr. Cooper gets you
a good partner for tonight.

Goodbye, Mary.

Kenny.

I, I guess the, the coin
didn't work last night, did it?

That-that was my fault.

I-I was so nervous,
I left it at home.

Kenny.