The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 1, Episode 7 - Three-Part Mother - full transcript

The man who invented alarm
clocks must have hated people.

Why am I the only
one that hears it?

Now, husbands...
That's a nice invention.

And 11-year-old sons...

That's a wonderful
invention, too.

Everybody says he
has his father's scowl.

And 14-year-old daughters...

Aren't they lovely?

I guess women have sweeter
dispositions in the morning.

Poor darling. He was
out on calls until 2:00.

But he's due at the
hospital in an hour.



Good morning, Mother.

Good morning.

Was the mailman here yet?

No, not yet, dear,
but it'll come.

Oh, well, I couldn't care less.

Got your new dress on.

Something special at school?

Well, I'm gonna give one of
the boys a piece of my mind.

You want to look
glamorous doing it.

Gives a woman a
certain advantage.

Yes, it does.

Can you untie this
knot for me, Mom?

Good morning.

How long do mothers
have to go on kissing boys?



Till they're 21. After that,
they have to get permission.

You gonna wear
gym shoes to school?

I got to practice on my pivot.

I can do it while I'm
walking to school.

Well, if you happen to
run into anybody I know,

please explain
what you're doing.

Here. Daddy's good at this.

"Anxieties of children
on their first visit

to a pediatrician's office."

Well, don't move.

Just cut holes in the paper
so I can serve the eggs.

Well, don't I get any
special privileges?

I've known you longer
than either of them.

If you aren't careful, I'm
going to put on my new dress.

I know you're trying
to get through to me.

If I can only break the code.

Mary understands me.

What's going on here?

Jeff, women are sensitive,
enigmatic creatures,

and we're boors who
don't appreciate them.

You really believe that?

Pass the butter, creature.

"Please."

Mom, do I have
to go through life

being trained by that thing?

Ask your father.

Mary, pass Jeff the butter,

and the next time,
he'll say "please."

Thanks loads. You're a peach.

Have you finished
your speech for tonight?

Not completely, but
how does this sound?

"Mr. Chairman, Dr. Wilson,

members of the
Hilldale Medical Society.

The anxieties of
children on their first visit

to a pediatrician's
office are often induced

by well-meaning parents
in their desire to..."

Mom, you're going to that
basketball game tonight,

aren't you?

Jeff, Daddy was talking.

Sorry, Dad. You are, aren't you?

Jeff, Daddy is giving his speech

before the annual meeting
of the medical society.

Now, it would be nice if I
were there. Don't you think?

We've already sat
through four games

just watching you hold
down the bench, Jeff.

Mary, if the coach doesn't put
Jeff in, there's a good reason.

Probably some
long-range strategy.

Oh, I'll get in... if three
regulars break their legs.

Say, I think I'll
call Matt Kramer.

He's been out of school
with a cold all week.

Why is he limping?

There's a knot in his shoelace.

Why doesn't the
coach put him in?

Maybe he's not good enough.

Honey, I appreciate
your frankness,

but keep your voice down.

Who hit the panic button?

The mailman.

She's hoping for an
invitation to join a girls' club.

I was ready to dive
into the nearest foxhole.

Well, that sort of thing can
be very crucial at her age.

Let's hear the rest
of your speech.

Couldn't I end it right
there? I like short speeches.

They'll be applauding
your introduction

and the end of your
speech at the same time.

Matt Kramer's gonna play.

Says his cold's a lot better.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jeff.

Would you like some more coffee?

Please, dear.

Why couldn't his mother have
kept him home one more day?

The aftereffects of a cold
can be much more dangerous

than the cold itself.

Think I'll put that
in my speech.

Don't worry, Mary. It'll come.

Oh, who cares?

Why should I want to
join a club full of snobs?

Only interests are
in clothes and boys.

Do they ever think of
anything humanitarian?

Listen to that.

Just last week, she said if she
didn't get in that gooney club,

- she was gonna knock her...
- All right, all right.

It's time for school.
Come on. Let's go.

Mother, when you go
shopping this afternoon,

will you pick up my shoes?

And my bicycle tire!

- And my blue suit, Donna.
- Yes, dear.

Bye-bye, sweetie.

- Goodbye, Jeff.
- Goodbye, Mom, Dad.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

I'll make a few
calls from the office.

Then I'll be at the hospital.

What was that?

You know, every once
in a while, I lose you.

Is this the inner depths
that no woman reveals

even to her husband?

No, no. I was just thinking.

Now, why is it, after a
few years of marriage,

a husband never
really kisses his wife?

He just...

Now, how was that?

It was fine, stranger.

Mom! Hey, Mom!

Where are you, Mom?

Oh, Mom! Mom!

Jeff, what is it?

Where are you?
Are you all right?

Mom, I'm playing
tonight, first-string!

- Oh.
- Well, aren't you excited?

Oh, I'm shaking all over.

Isn't it great?

Yes, it's wonderful.

- I knew if the coach...
- That had nothing to do with it.

I just got lucky.

Ev Rankin got the mumps,
Jimmy Ferris broke his glasses,

and Goofy Morton sprained
his ankle in the shower.

Well, I can see it was a
day filled with blessings.

- You know it.
- Is Goofy's ankle serious?

Oh, don't worry. He just
won't be able to walk for weeks.

I think I'll give him a
call. He's a swell guy.

That would be nice, dear.

But when you talk to him,
try and control your grief.

You better get to
the gym early tonight

so you can get a good seat.

Oh, well, Jeff, now, you
know Daddy's giving a speech,

and I plan to be there.

Well, you can hear
Dad talk anytime.

This is the most
important night of my life.

I know, but...

Well, anybody can tell you

that children are more
important than husbands.

I'm going to check that
theory with your father.

- Here.
- Hilldale Hospital.

- What?
- Hilldale Hospital.

Don't tell him I'm
more important.

- Hilldale Hospital.
- Please, Mom!

I need moral support.

Dr. Alex Stone, please.

Now, look. If Daddy wants
me to be there, I'll be there.

But this is the first
time I've ever been in.

Dr. Stone speaking.

Hello, Alex. How's everything?

- Fine.
- Good.

I just wanted to ask,

would you mind terribly if I
didn't go with you tonight?

- What? Is something wrong?
- No, no.

But Jeff is in the
starting lineup,

and he's terribly anxious.

Dr. Stone. Dr. Alexander Stone.

Oh, honey, I'm being paged.

- What?
- Dr. Stone. Dr. Alexander Stone.

Of course, I'm not hurt. My
feelings aren't that tender.

Go with Jeff.

You sure you don't mind?

Of course not.

All right, dear. Bye.

Thanks, Pop! You're a peach!

Don't say I never
gave you anything.

I'm going out and
practice my pivot!

Oh, hello, Woody.

Come in.

How do you do it?

Oh. Well, I worry a lot.

Now, do what?

You grow more
beautiful every day.

You know, you're
defying the law of nature

by dazzling the senses.

Oh, my gosh. I left the
liver at the butcher's.

Didn't think she'd
take it that hard.

Mr. Hotchkiss,
this is Mrs. Stone.

Would you mind looking
to see if I left a package?

Oh. Would you?

All right. Thank you very much.

Goodbye.

Woody, why is it that
bachelors are always charming

to married women and hiding
from the unmarried ones?

Well, it's a cunning we
develop, an instinct for survival.

I see you've been
decorated again.

Busy day at maternity?

Mm, yeah. Courtesy
of Fred Larkin.

I delivered his fourth today.

Oh. Congratulations to you both.

Mr. Larkin's a bit disappointed.
It's his fourth daughter.

Wonder if it's safe
to smoke these.

You know, I think
there's something wrong

with the whole system.

The mother ought
to pass out the cigars.

What's all this about tonight?

Tonight?

I ran into Alex at the hospital.

He says you're not
coming to the meeting.

Oh. Well, we've got a crisis.

Jeff is playing in his first
basketball game, and...

Yeah, now, look.

It's more important that you
be at that meeting than Alex.

Oh, well, then the wrong
person is memorizing the speech.

Honey, a few facts
of life about Hilldale.

Since your arrival, you and Alex
have made a very good beginning.

For one thing, you've
achieved my friendship.

Now, look, as your friend,

let me tell you that
this is not the big city.

This is a small town.

And in a small town,

it is most essential that "A,"
the doctors approve of Alex,

and "B," that the doctors'
wives approve of you as his wife.

Oh, dear. What happens
if they don't approve?

I've already borne
him two children.

Now, look. We had a
skin specialist here in town.

His wife used to take an
extra drink at the country club

and start playing the bongos.

Now, they overlooked that.

But she failed to show up at
the annual medical meeting.

He is now practicing
in Cincinnati.

I see.

If they don't like me, Alex
gets banished to the colonies.

You really think it's important?

I'll see you tonight.

Oh!

Now, wear something attractive,

but nothing the wives
will consider overdressed.

How about a bikini
and long white gloves?

Perfect.

Woody, I've already
promised Jeff.

You couldn't hold this meeting

in the gym, could
you, between halves?

I'll see you tonight.

Tonight.

Mother!

Mother!

Mother!

- Oh, Mary!
- Mother! Mother!

Mother, I'm in the
club! I'm in the club!

Oh, I knew you'd make it.

Well, aren't you
excited, Mother?

Yes. I started shaking
when Jeff came in.

Oh, Mother, I didn't tell you,
but if I hadn't been asked,

I'd have been shattered.

My whole world
would have crumbled.

Well, darling, nobody suspected
what you were going through.

Mother, the girls
are just darling.

Wait till you meet them.

We'll have them
all over real soon.

You'll see them at the meeting.

All the mothers
have to be there.

Mary.

Yes, Mother?

When is the meeting?

Tonight.

The most wonderful
night of my life.

Oh, but if you're not there,
how can I go, Mother?

Every girl has to
introduce her mother.

Mary, I've already
explained it to you.

Now you explain it to them.

Oh, these bows!

They make me look like I'm
going on a hayride or something.

Oh, Mother, you
just have to come.

Mary, it isn't my fault they set
up that meeting the last minute.

Mother, this is an
historical moment.

History never watches the clock.

Maybe not.

But if Columbus had been
the mother of two children,

he'd have never
discovered America.

Jeff, what's the matter?

Oh, I got a stomachache.

Man, it's killing me.

Well, it's the excitement
about the game.

I'll get you something, honey.

Oh, that won't do any good.

This is the worst
stomachache I've ever had.

Oh, how obvious can you get?

Mother, he's appealing
to your emotions.

Now, what have you been doing?

Just because he's the baby,

does he have to get
all the love around here?

Honey, a mother never loves
one child more than another.

Today, you've both
been equally impossible.

Why couldn't I have
been an only child?

Suppose this was
something serious.

Suppose I had a
ruptured appendix.

Then how would you feel?

He's right, Mary.
This could be serious.

Let me see your pulse.

Oh, my.

Your tongue.

Oh, dear!

What's wrong?

I don't know. But we'd
better not take any chances.

You better stay home
tonight. I'll call the coach.

No! Don't do that!

Can't a guy get a little
nervous before a big game?

See? He was simply playing
on your sympathy, Mother.

Donna.

Upstairs, dear.

Just because you were born
before I was doesn't mean...

Just a minute. Before
Daddy gets up here.

Now, listen to me.

Daddy needs me at
the meeting tonight.

And since he's a
grown-up, naturally,

he can't throw tantrums
or develop stomachaches.

Now, I love both of
you with all my heart.

But, Mother, can't you
just ask him, please?

Tell him you'll be at the
next meeting. Please, Mom.

Well, what a
touching family scene.

Dad, I'm playing tonight
in the starting lineup!

I know. That's wonderful.

And, Daddy, they
asked me to join the club.

Well, it's a day of triumph
for the Stone family.

Mother Stone doesn't
feel like cheering.

Daddy, all the mothers have
to be at the meeting tonight.

I'll be the only one at
the game without a family.

My whole social
future is at stake.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Hold everything.

This triumphal hysteria
has been going on all day.

Your mother doesn't want to
disappoint either one of you,

but she can't be in
two places at once.

Now, let's decide which one.

Daddy, Mother says she has to
go with you, that you need her.

That's ridiculous.

I told you on the phone
you didn't have to be there.

I give up!

Honey, what's
wrong? What did I say?

Darling, would you
mind answering me?

Will you try to calm down?
Why do you let a little thing...

A little thing.

Why, every time that
front door opened today,

it was like the Marines
setting up a beachhead.

So don't expect me to behave
like the Mother of the Year.

What are you talking about?

First, Woody comes by and
says you can't survive without me.

Then you walk in and
say, "Who needs you?"

Oh, honey. I'm
delivering a paper.

It would be nice
to have you there.

Actually, your paper's
only secondary.

Everybody's coming
to see me in my bikini.

- Bikini?
- And long white gloves.

You see, Woody has a
theory that if the doctors' wives

approve of me, the
husbands will accept you.

I've heard Woody's
theories. They're asinine.

Yes? Well, how about
the skin specialist's wife

who played the bongos?

- The bongos?
- At the country club.

Look, I've got a
theory of my own.

After eight years of college,

plus my internship
and my research,

I feel qualified to say
a few simple words

before my colleagues.

And I don't think Fleming
discovered penicillin

because his wife happened to
be popular at the country club.

You got that?

You've made it very clear.

So you don't have
to be at the meeting.

Then you can come with me!

I hope you all have
a lovely time tonight.

As for me, I'm getting
into my toreador pants

and go shoot billiards.

You shouldn't have
yelled at her like that.

What did you say?

Guess I yelled
a little bit, too.

Count me in.

If she's upstairs packing,

I may never speak
to either of you again.

Mommy.

Moms.

I'm sorry, Mommy.
I've been a beast.

You said it.

Oh, I'm sorry, too, Moms.

Oh, excuse me.

I'm sorrier than either of them.

Forget about tonight, Mother.
The girls will understand.

You've been to all
our games, Moms.

You go with Dad.

Now, wait.

I'd like to have you with me.

I always have. I always will.

Come to think of it,
that's why I married you.

But let's face it.

Mothers belong
to their children.

Daddy, you need Mother tonight.

Well, sure.

Anybody can tell you,

husbands are more
important than children.

Alex, please take
them out of here.

Why did they have
to be so sweet?

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to introduce our
speaker for the evening.

Although he is a newcomer
to our medical community,

we have entrusted him
with our most precious

and most difficult patients...

Children.

Dr. Alex Stone.

Mr. Chairman, Dr. Wilson,

members of the
Hilldale Medical Society.

The anxieties of children

on their first visit to
a pediatrician's office

are often induced by
well-meaning parents

in their desire to
protect the child.

Now, although this
may be well-intentioned,

it often proves to have
just the opposite result.

And now I would like to
welcome our three new members

and express confidence
that they will carry on

the glorious
tradition of this club.

We are all honored and grateful

to have our mothers
here with us tonight.

I'm going to ask each new member

to introduce her mother
to the membership.

Susan.

I would like to introduce my
mother, Mrs. Henry Martin.

Pamela.

I would like to introduce my
mother, Mrs. George Trask,

and thank her publicly for
giving up her mah-jongg game

to be here with me tonight.

Mary.

Because of
circumstances at our house

that were unavoidable, I...

This is my mother,
Mrs. Alex Stone.

The emotional reaction
of the mother involved

is always an important factor.

An old professor of mine once
advised, when leaving a patient,

give the baby a lollipop
and the mother a sedative.

Thank you.

Congratulations, Doctor.

Thank you, Doctor.

Mother!

Mom!

Donna?