The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 1, Episode 29 - The Parting of the Ways - full transcript

Mary's friend Babs is upset because she thinks her parents are breaking up. Donna & Alex decide to help the Keppler's save their marriage. However, Bab's was wrong - her parents are not breaking up, so the Stone's effort to help backfires.

Jeff, stop chomping in my ear.

Don't read over my shoulder!

How mushy can you get?

Don't be so nosey.

Mary!

Oh, thank heavens you're home.

Babs, what happened?

I'll be all right in a minute.

Well, Babs, what is
it? What's happened?

Don't ask.

The end of the
world, that's all.



Oh, hi, Mrs. Stone.

Hello, Babs.

Where can we talk?

What's the matter
with right here?

Upstairs in my room, Babs.

Outside, nosey!

What's the big secret?

It's none of your
business. Go on.

To think that this
could happen to me.

Well, Babs, what happened?

I'm trembling all over.

Feel my hands. They're like ice.

Well, Babs, what is it?

It's... Mom and Dad, they've...



They've come to the
parting of the ways.

You mean they've...

Oh, Babs.

Oh, there was this
most awful scene.

They came home last
night when I was asleep.

Or they thought I was.

They had this big argument.

And then this morning, early...

Dad left.

Oh, Babs, that's awful.

Oh, promise me you
won't say anything.

I'd die if anybody knew.

Well, of course I promise, Babs.

Would you mind telling me
what you're doing right here?

Nothing.

That's a shameful thing to do,

listening in on somebody
else's conversation.

I wasn't listening in.

I just wanted to see if
they were talking about me.

I don't care what
they're talking about.

That's eavesdropping.

And no nice person
would do such a thing.

By the way, what
are they talking about?

Kepplers.

It's impossible.

I know. That's the
way I feel about it.

I don't know a
better-adjusted couple

in the whole town
than Jack and Myra.

Where did you get this?

Babs came over all upset.

Babs... There's a girl that
could stand some adjusting.

She obviously swore
Mary to secrecy.

Because Mary didn't
say anything to me.

I didn't say anything to her. It
was Jeff who spilled the beans.

- Aha.
- Talking about me?

- Hi, Jeff.
- Hi, Dad.

Dinner's in a few minutes, Jeff.

Go wash your hands and tell
Mary. By the way, where is she?

She's on the phone,
talking to Babs.

Talking to Babs?

She just left here. They've
been talking all afternoon.

Talking to Babs.

Always talking.

Always talking.

Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak.

Maybe I ought to call Myra
about something else, you know,

and give her a chance to
bring it up if she wants to.

Darling, let's not meddle
in other people's affairs.

It's none of our business.

Yeah. You're right.

But why would Jack
want to leave Myra?

I mean, here are two
reasonable people.

They've been married
almost as long as we have.

Honey, it just
doesn't make sense.

Maybe he couldn't stand Babs.

I mean, the
atmosphere around here.

The tension.

Why, Mommy's going
around trying to act

as if nothing had happened.

It's nerve-racking.

Oh, I just got to get
away from it, or I'll go mad.

So I thought maybe I'd
go down and get a soda.

Do you want to get a soda?

I can't, Babs. It's
almost dinnertime.

But listen, the
reason I called you...

It's about tomorrow night.

I can't decide what
to wear to the thing.

What are you gonna wear?

Heavens.

I don't even know
if I'm going now.

My eyes all red

and everybody feeling
sorry for me the way they do

and my whole life
shattered this way.

Barbara, what on Earth
are you talking about?

I have to go now.

Who were you talking to?

Mary Stone.

Well, what about?

You know.

You and Dad.

No, I don't know.

What about us?

Oh, Mommy, I heard
what went on last night.

The walls aren't that thick.

I know why Daddy
left this morning.

Well, if you're
referring to the fact

that your father and I had
a little argument last night...

A little one?

All right, a good one.

But it wasn't our first, and
it certainly won't be our last.

Now, is that any reason
to call the neighbors?

Oh, but, Mommy, I...

And as for your
father's quick trip,

he had to make a
flight to Cleveland

to take some depositions from a
man who's in the hospital there.

Now, is there anything else
I can straighten you out on?

Oh, Mommy.

Well, I suppose everyone
thinks they're the exception.

Take us.

Nothing like that could
ever happen to us, huh?

No.

And still...

What do you mean, "And still"?

Dad, what's a quotient?

Go look it up. What's
the dictionary for?

- What do you mean, "And still"?
- But where's the dictionary?

Jeff, I don't know.
Where'd you put it last?

Can't you see your mother
and I are trying to talk?

Okay, if you want
me to flunk arithmetic.

Darn kids. Why can't they
ever think for themselves?

I don't know.

What were you talking about?

Well, I was just saying I
think that I can understand...

Mother?

- Mary, what do you want?
- Well, Mother, I can't decide.

What should I wear to
the thing tomorrow night?

Honey, you know what
kind of a thing it is. I don't.

But how do I know what
the other kids will be wearing?

I certainly don't. You'll
have to decide for yourself.

Okay, Mother, but can't...

Mary, can't you see I'm
trying to talk to your father?

Well, I'm sorry.

Well, as I was saying,
I think I can understand

how a couple like Myra
and Jack could drift apart.

I mean, what kind
of a life do they have?

Jack has his law practice.
He's all wrapped up in that.

They probably start the
day with a quick breakfast,

and then Jack dashes off.

They're apart the
rest of the day.

When he comes home
at night, they're tired,

so they go to bed early.

Jack probably reads a
law brief or something

and Myra a novel maybe,
and they go to sleep.

Are you talking about
the Kepplers or about us?

Why would you say that?

It seems to me you've given
a pretty good description

of the way we live.

Oh, Alex, that's true.

Darling, it's all right. There's
nothing wrong with us.

I guess it's the way
everybody lives.

Yeah, but should
they live that way?

You know, honey, I went
to that lecture last week,

the one at the women's club.

You know, and they
had that psychologist,

Doctor... Well, I don't
know what his name was.

Anyway, he's a family counselor.

And he said that one
of the main reasons

for discord in family life is a
lack of doing things together.

Oh, brother. What school
did he graduate from?

I think he has a
good point there.

Darling, darling,
Dr. What's-his-name

isn't uttering any
profound thought.

Well, if you're
going to oppose it...

Who's opposing it? Who can?

That's like opposing Mother
or the "Star-Spangled Banner."

- Let me ask you a question.
- Hmm?

How long has it been

since you've had a
good talk with Jeff?

About what?

About anything.

Oh, who can talk to him?

His mind is always
on something else.

Alex, do you realize
that both of our children

just came in here and asked
us quest... us, their parents...

And what did we do?

- We sent them out of the room.
- Well, we were talking.

But we're always talking.

Honey, that's how
families drift apart.

They lose contact with each
other without even realizing it.

Alex, why don't you
have a talk with Jeff?

After dinner, why don't
you go upstairs to his room

and have a good, long
chat with him, hmm?

All right, I'll try.

And I'll do the same with Mary.

All right.

Now, the first thing we
have to ask ourselves...

Look, Pop, it's simple.
Here, let me show you how.

Wait. Wait a minute.

Let's make sure we've
got this straight first.

But I know how.

Oh.

If you think you know how.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

- You know, Jeff...
- Yeah, Dad?

Jeff, we ought to... we ought
to talk together more, you and I.

Talk about what?

About... things.

What things?

Anything.

Anything that's troubling you,
anything that's on your mind?

There's nothing on my mind. Why?

I just thought that...

The only thing that's troubling
me now is this homework.

I got to get it done.

Well, I guess I'll just go
and let you do it, then.

Okay, Dad.

Mary, how about this one?

No, Mother. No.

Don't get excited, dear. I
was just trying to be helpful.

Well, thanks anyway,
but I think I'll wear this one.

I wore that one the last time.

Well, yes, that's very nice.

Yes.

Mary, I have a feeling we don't
see very much of each other.

Why, Mother? I'm
around all the time.

Well, I don't mean that.

I'm around all the time, too.

It just seems that we
don't talk to each other.

Oh, we talk, of
course, but not really.

Do you know what I mean?

No.

Is something wrong, Mother?

No, of course not.
Nothing's wrong.

Tell me, what did you
do in school today?

I didn't go to school
today, Mother.

Today's Saturday.

Well, tell me what you
did in school yesterday.

Nothing. The same old junk.

You know.

Well, what'd you
do after school?

I came home.

Mother, what's wrong?

Mary, don't you ever
feel the need to...

To confide in someone?

Confide what?

Mother, what are
you trying to find out?

Honey, I'm not trying
to find out anything.

If there's something you
want, if you just say so, I could...

No, no, no.

There isn't. Nothing at all.

I'll see you later.

Things around here
seem kind of funny to you?

Mother's been in here asking
all sorts of strange questions.

I haven't done
anything. Have you?

Not that I know of.

It was the same with Dad.

I thought I'd never
get rid of him.

She was acting sort of lonely,

as if she wanted
someone to talk to.

Yeah, Dad too.

I felt kind of sorry for him.

Why do they want to talk to us?

Why can't they
talk to each other?

I don't know, Jeff,

but, well, I suppose if
they want us to talk to them,

it won't hurt us
for one evening.

Sure, what the heck?

Let's go down and
be nice to them.

After all, they don't
get much fun out of life.

Let's go.

I don't know.

It's not as if I didn't try,

but, well, he just
sort of clammed up.

You'd have thought I was
a policeman or something.

You know, it was the
same way with Mary.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Hi.

How's it going?

How's what going?

Everything.

All right, I guess.

Well, what are you
doing? Can we join you?

Well, certainly. We'd
love to have you.

- Come on, Dad.
- Come on, Mom.

Well, what have you
been up to all day, Mother?

Been up to?

That was an awfully good
dinner we had tonight, Mom.

- Wasn't it, Mary?
- Oh, yes.

It was very good, Mother.

Well, thank you.

Yes, it was very good.

Thank you.

What were you gonna say, Jeff?

No, go ahead, Mom. I
wasn't gonna say anything.

Well, I was just
going to suggest

that maybe we'd all like to
play a family game or something.

A game?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Mary?

Yes, Mother, that would be fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Oh, fine.

Well, what would
you like to play?

Poker?

This is a family game.

How about a nice rousing
game of hearts, hmm?

- Hearts?
- Hearts?

Well, hearts is lots of
fun. Don't you remember?

We used to play it all the time.

But that was a long time
ago when we were just kids.

Poker, that's a good game.

Mother, I forget
exactly how hearts goes.

Oh, well, it's a
little like bridge.

You know, you take tricks...

I mean, you try
not to take tricks.

Oh, I know, and
the queen of spades,

you try to get rid of her.

Yes, and if you get
the queen of spades,

it counts 13 points against you.

Okay, okay, I
remember. Let's go.

I should get the
table. Mary, the cards.

There.

Well, go ahead, Jeff. You
only have the one card left.

Phooey!

Ah. Jeff's high so far.

Mary?

A present for
you, Brother, dear.

- The queen of spades.
- What a dirty gyp!

She does that all the time!

That's the idea,
silly, to get rid of it.

Well, it doesn't
always have to be me.

That's the third time in a row.

She's got it in for me.

Jeff, I don't
have it in for you.

That's just the
way it worked out.

I notice you never
get it or Dad or Mom.

Just me!

Come on, Jeff. Be a good sport.

How come the loser always
has to be a good sport?

Jeff, if you can't hold your
temper, you better not play.

Well, I certainly don't
want to play with that thing!

Well, that goes double for me!

Mary and Jeff, if you
can't be civil to each other

and act your age, go
on upstairs... go on.

- Okay, that suits me fine!
- Me too!

Always give me
the queen of spades!

I didn't mean to!

Of course, you never mean to!

One big happy family.

I think you might
have done something

besides just sit there.

Now, wait a minute,
darling, let's remind ourselves

of the purpose of
this little get-together.

It wasn't to play cards.

There wasn't one of us who
wanted to play this darn game.

Alex, if you're gonna
be sarcastic, I...

I'm not being sarcastic.

I'd just like to point out
that we were doing fine here

till Dr. What's-his-name came
along with his two cents worth

of family philosophy
and you fell for it.

That's when the fun started.

Gee, listen to them.
What's it all about?

I don't know.

Just because you and
I had a little argument...

Well, we do that all the time.

I'm sure it's nothing
to get excited about.

Oh, quick, here they come.

All minding their own
business, all perfectly satisfied.

But, no, that
wasn't good enough.

That's not true.
They were upstairs.

And then they came down to
us, obviously seeking attention.

Well, they got it, all
right. They got sent to bed!

They're still at it. Gosh.

You know who started
this, Jeff? We did.

Well, why can't they
forget it like we do?

You don't think they'll...

No, they wouldn't do that.

I guess the only thing
left to do is go to bed.

- Good night, Jeff.
- Night, Mary.

It's 9:30, and
they're still asleep.

Well, it is Sunday, Jeff.

But they never do this.

You don't suppose they stayed
up all night arguing, do you?

I don't know.

You know, I've been thinking.

Maybe we should tell
them it was all our fault.

They like it when you apologize.

Even if you didn't do it.

Hello?

Yeah, just a sec.

It's Babs.

What does she
have to call now for?

Jeff.

Babs?

Oh, I don't think I'd better.

Mother and Daddy
are still asleep.

Well, that's not the reason.

Well, you see, Babs,

Mother and Daddy had a
little argument last night,

and it was partly my fault,

so I think I better stick
around for a little while

and, you know, pour
oil on troubled waters.

You know what I mean.

I know only too well.

Who should know
better than I do?

Oh, will somebody
please tell me why parents

have to act this way, always
at each other's throats?

Babs, will you please
terminate this conversation

and come to breakfast?

I have to go down
to breakfast now.

I'll call you back.

But keep me posted.

Bye.

I thought I made it clear to
you that you were not to discuss

our personal affairs with
every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

That was Mary.

I don't care who it was.

Well, we weren't
discussing what you think.

It's her parents.

They're having trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Big argument last night.

Nobody's speaking
to anybody else.

Mother won't come
down to breakfast,

and neither will her father.

Oh, that's impossible.

Here they come.

Quick, act as if
nothing happened.

Morning, Mom.

Morning, Jeff. Did
you have breakfast?

Yeah, we didn't want to
disturb you, so we got our own.

Yes, we didn't want to
disturb you, so we got our own.

- Morning, honey.
- Morning, Mother.

- What did you...
- Shh!

- Hi, Dad.
- Good morning, Jeff.

- Good morning, Daddy.
- Morning, honey.

What do you think?

I couldn't tell a thing.

Well, let's just make
sure we don't stir them up.

Sugar?

Thanks.

Cream?

Thank you very much.

Jeff, maybe we better
leave them alone.

Well, somebody's
got to break the ice.

Hi!

You have the sports
section there, Jeff?

Yeah, here you are,
Dad, the sports section.

Mom, do you want the funnies?

I don't think I feel
like reading just now.

Thanks.

Mother and Daddy, I
want to apologize to you.

What for?

For the way I
behaved last night.

Me too.

I'm sorry I spoiled
the game for you.

You spoiled it?

I'm afraid we were
all pretty foolish.

Well, I was the foolish-est.

No, you weren't. I was.

Let's not fight over it.
It's a dubious distinction.

Dad's right. Dad's always right.

So is Mother.

Her too.

What do you say we
start another game?

No crabbing this time.
How about it, Dad?

I think it's a little early
in the day for that.

Oh, come on. We can...

Jeff, Daddy
doesn't want to play.

Oh, I'll get it.

No, you won't. I want to get it!

I guess I was
pretty silly last night.

It takes two, darling.

Hello, Mrs. Keppler.

- Hi.
- Myra.

- Is your mother in?
- Yeah, she's in the kitchen.

- Won't you come in?
- Mom!

I'll bet she came over here
to talk about her and Jack.

I better take her upstairs.

Yeah, you better do that.

Myra, I've been
wanting to call, but I...

Sit down.

Myra, we've been friends for
quite some time now, haven't we?

Yes, we have, Donna.

That's why I came over.

Darling, I'm so glad you did.

I feel...

I feel friends, if
they're really friends,

well, they ought to be able

to unburden
themselves to each other.

Don't you think?

Oh, Donna, go ahead and tell me.

You can spill it, darling.

I know all about it anyway.

Know about what?

Oh, Donna.

Donna?

Excuse me, Myra.

Oh, pay no attention to him.

Donna, darling!

"Donna, darling."

Yes, Alex?

Tell Myra Jack's here.

Jack?!

- Hi!
- Oh, darling!

Oh, boy, am I glad to see you.

- Did you miss me?
- You know it.

Babs told me you were here.

I can't believe it. I thought
you'd be gone a whole week.

Oh, no, I cleaned the
whole thing up yesterday

and took the
plane out last night.

How wonderful.

Oh, sorry.

Forgot to shave.

Now, who cares?

What... What are
you laughing about?

It's hard to explain.

You see, we thought that...

We were under the
impression that...

Well, Babs told Mary...

We thought you
two were splitting up.

Babs told...

Babs told me you
were splitting up.

Well, it's Babs that will be
splitting up when we get home.

Now, Jack, go easy on her.

After all, she brought us
much closer together again.

Yes, certainly.

She did.

I'll explain that to you later.

Come on. Let's all
have a cup of coffee.

- Yes, let's.
- That's a splendid idea.

I think we could all use it.

I hope somebody
explains the thing.

I don't know what the
kids have been doing.

And you can tell
Dr. What's-his-name I said so.

Well, honey, I still think...

You can't expect a family to
keep in lockstep all the time.

After all, what is a family?

It's a group of individuals,

each with his own
characteristics,

his own interests.

- Dad?
- Yes, Jeff, what is it?

How about a little
game of hearts?

Jeff, can't you see
we're trying to talk?

- But you said...
- Go do your homework.

- I did it.
- Will you get out of here?

Sure.

Now, you were saying?

You can't expect a family to
be a bunch of carbon copies.

They're bound to
disagree sometimes.

- Jeff, what is it?
- Relax.

Everything's back to normal.

How do you know?

They just kicked
me out of the kitchen.

Here, pick a card.

- I don't want to play cards.
- Would you please pick a card?

This is the most stupendous
trick you ever saw.

- I couldn't care less!
- I don't care whether you do!

You can't read the magazine!