The Defenders (2010–2011): Season 1, Episode 14 - Nevada v. Doug the Mule - full transcript
When a young man is pulled over carrying 30 bricks of cocaine, Nick and Pete look to prove their client was duped by a girl he met on spring break.
Jorge, why were the items
that you are being charged for stealing
in the lower shelf
of your shopping cart?
Because the rest of the cart
was full.
You had paid for the remaining items
in the cart at the cash register.
- Is that correct?
- Yes.
So you had no intention
of removing these other items out
of the store without paying for them?
No. I just forgot.
A little respect, Your Honor?
I'm examining my witness.
Respect needs to be earned
in my courtroom, counselor.
You've come up short once again.
Mr. Blanko, did you enter the store
and in fact remove items
- which you did not purchase?
- Yes, but I...
Your Honor, you can't cross-examine
my witness here.
And you do have two previous
felony grand larceny convictions.
Objection, Your Honor.
Don't answer.
- The witness will answer the question.
- He won't.
Jorge, do not answer that question.
- May I approach, Your Honor?
- Quickly.
Your Honor,
you cannot cross-examine my witness.
I can ask any questions I want.
Don't be stupid. This is my courtroom.
Stow it, Nicholson.
Your responsibility
is to be an objective trier of the law,
not to do this clown's job for him.
Easy, Morelli. Deep breaths.
Ever heard of judicial economy?
I mean, what's next?
Somebody steals a pack of gum
and we have a two-week trial?
Make a deal
and stop wasting my time.
I am sorry you're gonna miss
your golf game this afternoon,
but it just so happens
that my client is innocent, Your Honor.
That will be $125, Mr. Morelli.
You are in contempt of court.
Watch the sarcasm.
What sarcasm?
I bet a hundred bucks
you gotta cancel a tee time today.
Two hundred and fifty dollars.
Now.
- Now?
- Either you produce the fine
or I'll have the bailiffs
put you in handcuffs
and escort you to jail right now.
Who carries that kind of cash?
One hundred, 200, 20, 30.
He's short. Julie.
- Hey, man, can you spot me 20?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, uh...
You know, all I got is gift cards,
coffee store, bookstore, player's card.
I don't even gamble.
Anybody spot me a 20?
I'm good for it!
What do you mean
he crossed your witness?
He held me in contempt.
I had to borrow $20
to stay out of jail.
I swear I'm gonna haul him
in front a judiciary committee
- and I am gonna have his ass...
- Take it easy.
Thrown off the bench!
- Just take it easy, all right?
- Take it easy.
Tell me about your dinner last night
with Linda.
- How'd it go? Did it go good?
- Yeah. It was good.
Yeah, actually, it was really nice.
Nice dinner.
- What, a little pasta? Little salad?
- Pasta. Yeah.
A little side of:
I'm taking the Fifth on that.
- You're taking the Fifth?
- Yeah.
Whoa, Nicky, Nicky, that means
that you sealed the deal. You did it.
He's back from the dead,
ladies and gentlemen.
- Cripes, I gotta call her.
- Whoa, no, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What? Why? What for?
I'm gonna tell her I had a great time,
that kind of stuff.
Oh, heh, no. Oh, that's so sad, heh.
- What?
- It's not your fault.
You've been out of the game
so long. No.
What kind of jackass doesn't call?
Look, Nick, you gotta keep
the mystery going, okay?
- You gotta play it cool.
- Play it cool, my ass.
I'm taking dating advice from a guy
whose last date was with a stripper
he took to Cirque du Soleil?
She learned some nifty moves
from them.
Oh, come on, play it cool.
I'm not 14.
Okay, okay, Nick.
I will allow you to call her back,
but if she doesn't pick up,
Nick, please, please, please
don't leave a message.
What...?
Hey, that's my car! Stop! Stop!
Wait a minute!
Come on!
Aw, son of a...
Not your day, Morelli.
Hey, Fierro, give me a ride, would you?
Help a brother out.
Attaboy, attaboy.
I hope you don't mind riding
with the Sarge.
Oh, he's great.
The tongue on him,
he's drooling all over me.
Calm down.
Calm down? I hate dogs.
- How can you hate dogs?
- I'm allergic.
- You are not allergic.
- Emotionally, I am.
Good boy. Good boy.
Easy. Good dog. Good dog.
- You know, they can smell the fear.
- Okay.
I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of you.
I'm not afraid of you.
Once I pull him over,
it's all you, Morelli.
- I can't have anything to do with this.
- I'll take her from here.
847 in pursuit of a vehicle.
Need available units now.
10-4. We're en route from Fremont.
Sorry, ladies, gotta take a detour.
So, sarge, what about my car?
Hang on, boys.
Driver, step out of
the vehicle. Keep your hands in the air.
Step out of the vehicle.
Do not look at me. Do not face me.
On your knees.
Face down.
Search. Search.
- Fierro here. We got this...
- No, no, no.
Come on, Fierro. Don't even think
about searching that vehicle.
Fierro, you do not have sufficient PC
to make a narc search.
You're gonna need a judge's order.
I will...
Judge Taylor says hi.
The last time I do you a favor.
- There's been a mistake.
- Don't say a word.
Who are you?
We're your lawyers.
I swear I had no idea
there were drugs in that car, okay?
There's been a mistake. Believe me.
Yeah, then why would you spend
your time leading the cops
on that high-speed chase
back there?
I ran a light, okay?
And I freaked, I don't know. I thought
they'd assume the car was stolen.
Why would they assume?
Did you steal the van?
No, I didn't steal the van. I...
It belonged to this girl
I met down in Ensenada, all right?
I was there on break
and we kind of had a thing.
Oh, God, you...
Someone's gotta call my dad.
Tell him there's a misunderstanding.
Uh, any of you. One of you...
We'll take care of that. We'll take care
of that. You gotta calm down.
- Calm down, will you?
- I'm trying.
- This girl got a name?
- Uh...
Mia, yes. Mia Randall.
- She American?
- Yeah, yeah. She's a senior at UNLV.
Doug, did Mia ask you
to drive her car back here?
Okay, look, I know this sounds
sketchy, but it's not like that, all right?
Mia has this ex, and he was there,
and, you know, she was afraid
that he'd follow her on the way home.
- She took a plane and asked me if...
- Drive her car back here.
Yes, fine. She asked me
to drive her car back and I did,
but she didn't pack it full of drugs.
She lied to you, Doug.
Either that or you're lying to us.
Wait, uh, so you guys took my phone
- before I came in here.
- We got your phone.
Look at the last video, uh,
before I got put in here.
Where?
- Yeah, right there.
- Mm, that was fun.
Just thinking about
what we just did.
- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.
- Thinking about what's coming next.
- Oh, what's next?
Hmm, so many things could be next.
She wouldn't do that to me.
She wouldn't do that to him.
- She is way too hot for him.
- Probably right.
Probably? Girls that hot
don't go for anyone less than an 8.
What are you talking about?
How about a guy with charm
and humor, a little girth?
That's what they want in their life.
- What's this?
- Valentines?
- Oh, valentines.
- Nick?
How'd your date with Linda go?
- Fine.
- Yay, heh.
Yeah, but now he wants to call her.
- So what?
- Oh, um...
Look, I don't want any dating advice
from either of you.
You'll probably have me e-mail her.
E-mail is way too impersonal, Nick.
You need to text her.
But only after you Facebook stalk.
See if she commented on the date
or if there's pictures
with guys making out.
All right, that's enough.
That's enough.
I find it highly inappropriate
that my employees
are digging into my sex life.
- Sex? As in you got in on, ha, ha.
- Scram.
A Detective Fierro's on the line.
He wants to interrogate Doug.
Yeah, I'm on my way.
Don't be stupid.
Linda here. You know what to do.
Hello, Linda. Uh, this is Nick.
I know it's kind of old-fashioned,
me calling,
but, uh, well, I'm a little old...
If you are satisfied,
press one.
To rerecord, press two.
Hello, Linda.
This is, uh, Nick Morelli.
I wanted to tell you that I had such a
great time last night. I really did.
And, um, I was thinking that
maybe if you wanted to do it again...
Well, I mean, not it.
When I say "it," I don't mean,
you know, it. I mean, you know, do...
Message sent. Goodbye.
Damn it.
Uh, Doug's dad is here.
- All right, bring him in.
- All right.
The amount of cocaine
that was found
was pretty substantial,
Mr. Christensen, it's 30 bricks.
That carries a minimum of ten
years, a lifetime, maximum.
Well, Doug couldn't have known
that stuff was in that car.
I mean, my son is not a drug dealer.
Has he ever gotten
into any trouble before?
- Drug use? Juvie records?
- No. He doesn't even drink.
He works two jobs.
He studies on the weekends.
Ever since his mom died
when he was 14,
he's just been this little man.
You know, so responsible.
Good. That's good.
Well, maybe we can convince the jury
that a clean-cut kid was conned.
- Conned?
- We think a woman tricked him.
She made him fall in love with her
and then asked him
to drive her car back from Mexico.
All we know about her
is that she was American.
- And he met her in Ensenada?
- Yeah.
Why?
Did he ever mention this woman
to you?
No, no, no. It's just...
You can't let my son go to jail
for this.
Well, we'll try to everything we can
to prevent that.
We'll do our best.
This girl that asked you to do this,
this Mia Randall,
she goes to your same school?
Uh, yeah, yeah, but we never met.
So you agreed to drive a vehicle
for a woman that you'd never met?
Hey, watch the tone.
I mean, I knew her.
We'd spent, like, a week together.
You do any drugs with her,
Mr. Christensen?
My client's gonna refrain
from answering at this time.
- Doug, it's okay. You're doing fine.
- You knew what was in that car.
- I'm warning you.
- If you don't come clean, we can't help.
Okay, that's it.
We're out of here. Come on, Doug.
Doug? Hey, Doug, you okay?
- I'm such an idiot.
- Doug?
- I knew something was wrong.
- I need a moment.
I knew it. I knew it,
but I did it, anyway. I'm such an idiot.
- Stop talking.
- Your client is giving information.
- I knew the second I...
- Doug. Doug.
- Stop intervening.
- Doug. Doug!
- What is he on?
- Get a medic.
Doug. Get a medic in here now!
You said you didn't know
there were drugs in the car.
- I didn't know.
- Your toxicology report said
you had enough blow in your system
to light up the strip.
I'm sorry.
Sorry for what?
For lying to us
or swallowing a big bag of cocaine?
That bag was in your stomach
for eight hours, leaking.
- You could've died, man.
- You gotta be straight with us.
Right now,
we are the only thing standing
between you
and a life full of prison showers.
Nurse Anderson,
to four west nursing station.
Nurse Anderson,
to four west nursing station.
Okay.
I met Mia and, heh, she was beautiful.
You know, she wanted to party.
We were in the car,
and we were listening to music,
and we were drinking,
and she was kissing me,
and then before you know it,
she pulled out a bag of coke, all right?
I don't even do that stuff, I swear.
But for the first time in my life,
I had a chance with a girl
who was way out of my league.
So, yes,
I did some coke down in Mexico.
Then I think she threw it
in the glove box.
It was the last thing on my mind
at the time.
On the drive back,
I found the bag.
And I know I should've thrown it out,
but I didn't. I wasn't thinking.
I didn't realize I ran the light
until the cop pulled up.
And at that point,
I knew I couldn't get away. I freaked.
I swallowed the bag.
No one's gonna buy that you didn't
know about the kilos in the trunk,
but you knew about the eight ball
in your compartment.
This is gonna put a dent
in your credibility.
But you need to prove that Mia's ex
was the one who set me up.
He wanted to get back at you
so he planted $3 million
worth of merchandise in your car?
It didn't happen, Doug.
Mia conned you into this.
Oh, God.
I'm going to prison, aren't I?
Hi, Linda, it's me again.
Yeah, I know it might seem
a little strange,
the message I left before,
but your phone cut me off
right in mid-sentence. And I, heh...
What I really wanted
to say to you was...
Message sent. Goodbye.
What are you doing?
You called her, didn't you?
Maybe. Maybe.
Yeah, I left her a message,
or two, okay? Two messages.
- Nicky?
- Oh, come on. This is complicated.
Don't call her. Call her.
Texting. Facebook. Intersect.
And then she doesn't call back?
What's that about, Pete?
- You just gave her all the power.
- I don't wanna hear about that.
Tell me what's going on.
What do you got?
- More bad news. All right, here we go.
- Great.
The van was stolen.
The only prints found on it
were Doug's
and surprise, surprise,
Mia is not a UNLV student.
Matter of fact,
there is actually no record
of a Mia Randall anywhere.
Which means you and me, buddy,
we got no defense.
Well, phew,
she's a pro, for sure, Pete.
I think we gotta call Tony
on this one.
Valasco? You sure he'll pull himself
away from the poker table?
He did a lot of work in Mexico
as a DEA and he owes me one.
Let's give him a shot, what the hell.
Oh, great.
Porterhouse, medium rare,
baked potato loaded,
side of lasagna and the flan.
Oh, thanks, Johnny.
You planning on feeding
a school of orphans?
I'm tense.
I eat when I'm tense. Move.
Thank you, Johnny.
- Pete will pick it up.
- Heh.
Ninety-two eighty-seven,
cash or charge?
- Uh, whoa, Nick, hold on a second.
- Hey, don't be cheap. Leave a tip.
Yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You owe five months at 2K,
that's 10 large plus interest.
Yeah, well, you still owe me 300
from the Super Bowl.
Damn, heh.
Damn, Pete. Hey, you can't just be
sneaking up on people like that.
- Man, how'd you find me?
- I, uh, called your mother.
- I'm starting to regret it now too.
- Ha, ha, sorry about that, bro.
It's just that, you know,
people get real pissed
when you're taking their stuff.
So, what, you, uh, a repo guy now?
Repo dude, like, uh Repo Suave?
Hey. You want another wrist lock?
Huh? Heh.
- Joking, man. Joking. Come on.
- Ha, ha.
Listen, I, uh, got this case.
Kid goes down to Ensenada,
meets a girl, falls in love,
drives her car back to Vegas.
Let me guess, uh,
car was full of powder?
You see a lot of those as a DEA?
More than I can count.
Any way I can get access
to those files?
Ugh, look, man,
I'm in enough trouble already, okay?
I'm the one who got you off.
You're a free man now.
Ugh, yeah, and I'd like to keep it
that way.
Besides, I can't just lift
every mule case out of Baja.
Unless you can get me more intel
on this chick.
Like, I'm talking something specific,
there ain't much I can do, okay?
Hey!
Hey, that's my car! What the hell
are you doing? Oh, come on!
It's my mother's 85th birthday.
I have a car.
Possession, Your Honor.
Defendant had a significant amount
- of cocaine in his system.
- Let me get this.
You want a second felony count
for what the kid ate?
The medical examiner would testify
that acute cocaine toxicity
would indicate the ingestion
of a 4-gram bag.
That's a Class D felony.
Your Honor, whatever was
in my client's system was digested.
It can't be weighed. Mr. Ward here
can't prove that he ate 4 grams.
I mean, what if it was less than 4?
Then it's a Class E felony.
- Are you willing to accept a Class E?
- No.
Because the discovery
was made without a warrant,
this whole thing
should be tossed out.
There's a Fourth Amendment issue
here, counsel?
Yes. The police interviewed
my client's docket without a warrant.
Oh, please, counsel. Your Honor,
there was probable cause.
My client collapsed during questioning.
It could've been stress.
It could've been
a thousand other sicknesses.
I'll allow the additional charge,
Class E felony, simple possession.
Possession carries probation.
It's hardly worth the court's time.
Uh, Mr. Ward,
you asked for the charge, not me.
That's very good.
Thank you, Your Honor.
- Permission to approach the bench?
- Yes.
Your Honor,
my key witness is still in Mexico.
I need two days to get her
on the stand.
Fine. I will extend.
You better produce that witness
or you will pay me a trial.
- Are we clear?
- That is clear.
Thank you, Your Honor.
You can go.
- Uh, what happened?
- Just, uh, give us a moment.
Nick, are you nuts? We're never
gonna find Mia in two days.
Things take forever down there.
You ever try to order a margarita
without salt? It takes an hour.
- You got a better plan?
- Yes.
She's a pro. We find other perps
that she's conned to prove a pattern.
Okay, that's great. You do that.
But it doesn't prove
that Doug was set up.
We need Mia on the stand
in front of a jury.
- I'll call you when I get something.
- All right.
- Mr. Morelli?
- Yes.
Uh, I heard you were saying something
about that girl.
Yeah, we need to find her.
I, uh, think I can help.
She's a prostitute.
I hired her for Doug.
You hired her?
I don't understand, Dad. Why?
All right, Doug, Doug,
I know this is hard for you to hear,
but we need to know exactly
how your father went about this.
I called Doug's hotel, Playa Azul.
And I asked the concierge
to make sure Doug had a good time.
I told him Doug was young,
somewhat inexperienced
and that the girl shouldn't let on
that she was hired.
I am so sorry.
I'm about to spend the rest of my life
in prison and you're sorry?
I've been trying to fix it
ever since the arrest.
Uh, I've been trying
to contact the concierge,
- but the man won't talk to me.
- Sir, he's probably in on it.
Why, Dad? Why?
After your mother died,
you had to step up.
And I'm grateful.
But I just...
I just wished things
could be different for you.
I just...
I wanted you to have fun.
Yeah, well, you know what, Dad?
It's been fun.
It's been awesome.
Thank you.
He could've gone to any college
he wanted to.
But he stayed here in Vegas.
He stayed for me.
Look, man,
I know you gotta feel terrible.
Look, no offense, Lisa,
but you actually have no idea.
I mean, I'm about to go to prison. Me.
My dad's a jerk.
The only relationship I've ever had
I just found out was fake.
I'm still the undateable loser
I've always been.
I'd date you.
Thank you.
What? I'm not cougaring him.
Just saying if he was four years older,
I would.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You know what's funny?
Even when I realized
that she had duped me,
you know, into taking the drugs,
I thought to myself
maybe it was still real.
You know, maybe she felt it too.
Hey, this woman is a con artist.
Honestly, you never stood a chance.
And that's not on you.
One day, you are gonna find a girl
that really digs you, you know?
Where am I gonna find her?
In prison?
All right, tell me you got something.
- Thanks to Doug's dad, we do.
- Tony and I have been doing digging.
Found these three guys
all arrested last year.
Two in California, one in Texas.
All three went on vacation
down in Ensenada,
told their concierge they were looking
to pay for a little company, fell in love,
bam, next they're getting busted
for trying to smuggle a car
full of cocaine across the border.
Look at them.
Hmm, little vulnerable, little lonely.
Concierge must've seen them
and decided
that instead of calling a hooker,
he'd call your girl, Mia.
Probably gets himself
a little kickback from the cartel.
Yeah, then Mia gets
these poor lonely suckers
- to do whatever she wants.
- Exactly.
So I funneled this info
back to the DEA,
and turns out,
they've been looking for her too.
Let me tell you, woman's got skills.
Uh, changes her name
about once a month.
Changes her location.
But now, thanks to Doug's dad,
we know where she is.
Even better,
we know how to find her.
All we gotta do is, uh, get down
to the Hotel Playa Azul,
go up to the concierge,
describe the kind of guy who fits
Mia's marks, and, boom, that's it.
Get her up to her room, isolate her,
and, hello, deportation.
We're gonna need help
getting her out of Mexico.
I already spoke to my connection
with the Federales. Good to go.
I talked to the U.S. Attorneys' Office.
Got Bukant to agree
that if we deliver Mia,
he'll let her testify on Doug's behalf
and grant her immunity.
And the best part is...
One of you is gonna have to do
a little acting and pose as her john.
- Why couldn't you be the guy?
- You're good with girls.
Look, because you fit the description
a little better, that's it.
What are you saying?
I look like a lonely schlubby loser?
Is that what you're saying?
- Is that the deal?
- No, Nick. Not at all.
In fact,
you're looking good these days.
You've been working out, I can tell.
Little bigger up top.
- Tighter in the middle. Got V-thing.
- Oh, shut up. Shut up.
Hey, and that yoga's paying off too.
Your butt, very firm.
Get off me.
See what you doing, Nick?
Giving her the power.
Checking your phone.
Making sure you got service.
- Did she call? Didn't she call?
- Shut up.
Guys, guys, okay.
We're all set now, okay?
I need you by the pool in an hour,
wearing this.
This?
It's not bad enough you guys got me
looking like a pi?a colada?
- She's got to ID you, Nick.
- All right.
Okay, and then bring her up
to the room at 7 sharp.
I got it. I got it. You clowns
better be there when I'm there.
- Oh, we'll be there.
- Nicolito, no sex-o, por favor.
- Get out of here.
- Ahem.
Put that phone down.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
I'm usually not that aggressive,
but ever since the divorce,
I have a new philosophy.
- Oh, crap.
- Go for it.
Got it.
And I saw you and I went for it.
- Heh.
- I like a man with a hat.
Thank you.
So you're a very nice girl.
- Oh, I sense a "but" coming here. Heh.
- But...
- Judy? Judy Baker from Flint?
- Yes.
- It's me, Roger. Remember?
- I'm not sure, heh.
Let me buy you a drink.
- Oh!
- Go for it.
Okay, why, thank you.
- Wait, wait, wait, your purse.
- Oh, what...? Oh, thank you, heh.
- You're Spanish.
- You remember.
- Oh, it's coming back, heh.
- Look at that. I knew it.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Ugh, it's, uh crowded, huh?
- Well, yeah. Now it is.
- Hi, I'm Mia.
- I'm Nick.
Nice to meet you. Ha, ha.
- Jinx.
- Owe me a coke.
Oh, how about I share it with you?
- We'll split a coke.
- Hmm. Perfect.
Ooh!
That sounds dirty.
Hey, Bukant, we got her.
Well, my boss gets back
from his tennis lesson
- and we're ready to go.
- What?
Federal procedure.
He's gotta sign the document
and I send it back to you,
then you sign it.
Yes.
God, this just...
This feels so right, doesn't it? It does.
Well, you know,
you wanna go back to my, uh, room?
Uh-huh.
Well, this is it.
So would you, uh, like a drink?
Shh.
Come on, come on, come on.
God, where have you been
all my life?
Well, I've, uh... I started in Chicago
and then I moved to Vegas.
Why don't we make ourselves
a little more comfortable?
I'm comfortable. What?
Wow.
Uh, one question.
Uh, let's just say you go out with a guy
and you're having a good time...
Mm-hm.
- and, you know,
you, uh, seal the deal...
Ooh.
Let's do that. I like sealing the deal.
But the next day, do you call?
Forget about her, Nicky.
I'm here now.
Wow.
Uh, it's all approved on this end.
No, no, no.
Let me do that. Let me do that.
I like to do things myself.
Well, you know what, Nicky?
- You can keep your shirt on for this.
- I can?
Jig is up, Mia.
You are now in federal custody.
Sorry, Nick.
Oh.
Hey, Ward, got some news for you.
Nice tan, boys. Heard about
your little Aztec adventure.
Yeah, well, if Mia gets on the stand,
it's game over for you, my friend.
I suggest you give us two years
plus five years probation.
Oh, please, you two, I can smell
your bluff from a mile away.
No plea. No way.
And I hope you two had fun in the sun
because this is about to get painful.
After you.
Oh, I'm sorry, shorty, um, adults only.
Oh, you can do better than that.
- State your name for the record.
- Ashley Taylor.
- Is that what Doug knew you as?
- No. He knew me as Mia Randall.
Did you, while residing in Mexico,
arrange to have drugs transported
into the United States?
- Yes.
- How?
I was asked
to target a certain kind of guy.
You know, the type that doesn't really
get talked to at parties.
How did you meet these men?
They would come looking for a girl.
I made myself available
and then I asked them
to drive a car back to the States.
- Is that what happened with Doug?
- Yes.
I was told that his dad wanted
to hire someone
to show his kid a good time.
I felt bad for him, really.
He didn't come to Baja
looking for trouble.
He was just this sweet kid.
Your Honor, I would like to show
defense Exhibits B, C and D,
which have been already
entered into evidence.
Miss Taylor,
you recognize these individuals?
Yes. Those were
three other men I met.
And were you aware
that these innocent men
were arrested for trafficking
because of what you did?
Yeah. My boss told me about it.
He told you
to convince these men to drive,
but they did not know that
there were drugs in the car, did they?
Not until they got busted. No.
Did Doug know?
He had no idea.
Thank you. Nothing further.
Miss Taylor, you get paid to lie,
is that accurate?
I guess. Sure.
So as a professional liar,
how do we know you're not lying now?
- Well, I'm not getting paid now.
- Heh.
But you are, aren't you?
You've been, um, granted immunity
from prosecution
in exchange for this testimony.
Is that not correct?
- Yes.
- So that's payment, Miss Taylor.
- Or is it Miss Randall?
- Objection.
Your testimony has value, miss,
only if it helps the defense.
If it does not, the defense
could not have convinced this court
to grant you immunity.
You'll be worthless.
Just a lying hooker.
- Objection.
- She is what she is, judge.
Sustained. Mr. Ward,
watch the language.
My apologies, Your Honor. I certainly
didn't mean to hurt her feelings.
Nothing further.
Oh, man, the poor kid's life is over
before it even started.
I don't know. Closing could save us.
- Have you talked to him yet?
- Twenty minutes ago. He had nothing.
I am not going in there again.
Linda.
Zoey, don't.
Please, don't do it. Don't do it.
- This is gonna suck.
- No.
- Nick?
- What?
- Well, I...
- Spit it.
I know I'm under strict instruction
to never, ever interrupt you
when you're writing
your closing, but...
Oh, you are writing it.
No. I haven't come up
with a close yet.
Linda called.
- She did?
- Yes.
There was an injured bear
at a retreat up in Red Rocks.
- An injured bear.
- Mm-hm.
And she had to get over there
and there was no cell service.
Ahh...
Just got your nine messages now
and wants to know
which one she should listen to.
Does that mean
she hasn't heard any yet?
- Well, I think...
- Is she being sarcastic?
- No.
- What did she sound like?
Did she sound like
she was hurt or?
She sounded like a woman
who just got nine messages.
- What were you thinking?
- I don't know.
I don't know, Zoey.
I wasn't thinking. That's the problem.
- I got the close.
- Nice.
Thank you. Go.
Is it working? You writing, buddy?
You writing it? Yeah.
The defense wants you to believe
that Doug had nothing to do with this,
but that's exactly
what every single drug mule alleges.
Come on.
They found drugs in Doug's car.
They found drugs in Doug's stomach.
And Doug admitted on tape
that he knew something was wrong,
but that he did it anyway.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if it walks like a mule,
it talks like a mule, well...
Well, you have to decide.
Good morning.
You know, I went to college
in Southern Illinois,
and just before winter break,
I met this girl.
We were at a party.
We were so happy
that the semester was over.
And, uh, we got to talking.
And she...
Turns out, she was from Chicago too,
just like me.
Now, she was from the north side
and I was from the south side,
but I was willing to overlook that
because she was just so damn pretty.
So when I tell her
I'm driving home for the holidays,
she says, "Can you give me a lift?"
Ha, ha, can I give her a lift?
Of course, I can give her a lift.
So two days later,
we're driving north to Chicago.
It's a six-hour drive.
Huge snowstorm.
We're on the road forever.
And I got to tell you,
we had a great time.
But here's the thing:
I didn't live in Chicago anymore.
My parents had moved to Evansville
when I was 16.
That's, like, I don't know,
about 50 miles from college, right?
Yeah. You're right.
I drove ten hours out of my way
just to get to know a girl.
I don't know, you do stupid things
when you're a kid, right?
You see, those weird chemicals
that are released when you fall in love,
they shut off a section of your brain
that gives you the ability to reason.
I mean, love literally makes a fool
out of us.
Hey, it happened to me this week.
I left nine different messages for a girl.
And on the last message,
I sang "Who's That Lady?"
What a fool.
In order to send Doug to prison,
the state must prove
that Doug had intent
to traffic those drugs.
But all they proved was that Doug
was trying to please a girl.
Yeah, he knew something was off.
Just like I knew something was off
driving 600 miles in a snowstorm.
But I did it
for the same reason he did.
Now, Doug did not know that
that car was packed with drugs.
He might've been a fool to fall for it,
but, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
that is all he did.
He fell in love.
Thank you.
Mr. Foreman,
do you have a verdict?
We have, Your Honor.
"Case 94-K76990, in the matter
of Doug Christensen.
On count one, simple possession
of a controlled substance
without an intent to sell,
a Class E felony,
guilty.
On count two, trafficking,
possession with intent to sell,
a Class A felony,
- not guilty."
- Ugh.
Your Honor, since a Class E
for ingesting drugs requires probation,
we ask that bail be continued
until sentencing.
So ordered.
You're a lucky man, Mr. Christensen.
Stay out of trouble for the next month
and you get a second chance.
All right, you're free.
I can't even begin to tell you.
- Thank you.
- Very welcome.
How the hell did you get the Federales
to cooperate in the first place?
- Hmm, just pretended I was still DEA.
- Oh, I didn't hear that. I didn't hear it.
- What? I do something wrong?
- Oh.
You never mind that.
Tony, you are a terrific investigator.
Yes, you are. Cheers, my friend.
So you back in business now
or what?
Hey, as long as you pay, I'm back.
And if you don't,
I'll just, uh, take Nick's Cadi.
Oh, yeah, in your dreams, repo man.
In your dreams.
- Ho, ho, ho.
- Oh.
You cannot answer that, okay?
You gotta play hard to get.
You gotta act like you lost interest.
- No kidding.
- What, now he knows?
- Great. No. Give it to me.
- Ah, ah.
- Give it to me. I'll take it.
- Ow.
Hello, Linda.
- Well, hi.
- Hi.
I am...
I am so sorry
about leaving all those messages.
- Thought it was an emergency.
- No, it was just a...
I was away up in the canyon
and I had no reception
and we had this bear
and he'd been attacked
by a cougar...
Oh, oh, heh.
Oh, no kidding.
- So he's doing all right then?
- Wait. It's amazing...
Uh, Linda, I... Can you just hold on
for one quick second? I'm so sorry.
Oh, yeah, no worries.
Judge, how did you get
my cell phone?
Yes, it does matter.
I hope you're calling
to give me my $250 back.
All right. I'll be right there.
Don't say a word.
Linda, I am so sorry.
If you'd like to make
a call, hang up and try again.
Where are you going?
I understand my client evoked his right
for an attorney?
Evening, Morelli.
Evening, judge.
Good you're here.
- As you can see, I've been arrested.
- Mm-hm.
I have reason to believe
I'll soon be charged
with 30 to 40 counts of felony,
possession of a controlled substance,
engaging in prostitution.
Oh, and, uh, there'll probably be
a weapons charge as well.
We should be able
to get that dismissed.
Hey, you've had a very busy night
tonight, judge.
Just keep your mouth shut.
Only talk to me.
What?
Easy with the lady there, boys.
Let's both pray to God
she doesn't die.
that you are being charged for stealing
in the lower shelf
of your shopping cart?
Because the rest of the cart
was full.
You had paid for the remaining items
in the cart at the cash register.
- Is that correct?
- Yes.
So you had no intention
of removing these other items out
of the store without paying for them?
No. I just forgot.
A little respect, Your Honor?
I'm examining my witness.
Respect needs to be earned
in my courtroom, counselor.
You've come up short once again.
Mr. Blanko, did you enter the store
and in fact remove items
- which you did not purchase?
- Yes, but I...
Your Honor, you can't cross-examine
my witness here.
And you do have two previous
felony grand larceny convictions.
Objection, Your Honor.
Don't answer.
- The witness will answer the question.
- He won't.
Jorge, do not answer that question.
- May I approach, Your Honor?
- Quickly.
Your Honor,
you cannot cross-examine my witness.
I can ask any questions I want.
Don't be stupid. This is my courtroom.
Stow it, Nicholson.
Your responsibility
is to be an objective trier of the law,
not to do this clown's job for him.
Easy, Morelli. Deep breaths.
Ever heard of judicial economy?
I mean, what's next?
Somebody steals a pack of gum
and we have a two-week trial?
Make a deal
and stop wasting my time.
I am sorry you're gonna miss
your golf game this afternoon,
but it just so happens
that my client is innocent, Your Honor.
That will be $125, Mr. Morelli.
You are in contempt of court.
Watch the sarcasm.
What sarcasm?
I bet a hundred bucks
you gotta cancel a tee time today.
Two hundred and fifty dollars.
Now.
- Now?
- Either you produce the fine
or I'll have the bailiffs
put you in handcuffs
and escort you to jail right now.
Who carries that kind of cash?
One hundred, 200, 20, 30.
He's short. Julie.
- Hey, man, can you spot me 20?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, uh...
You know, all I got is gift cards,
coffee store, bookstore, player's card.
I don't even gamble.
Anybody spot me a 20?
I'm good for it!
What do you mean
he crossed your witness?
He held me in contempt.
I had to borrow $20
to stay out of jail.
I swear I'm gonna haul him
in front a judiciary committee
- and I am gonna have his ass...
- Take it easy.
Thrown off the bench!
- Just take it easy, all right?
- Take it easy.
Tell me about your dinner last night
with Linda.
- How'd it go? Did it go good?
- Yeah. It was good.
Yeah, actually, it was really nice.
Nice dinner.
- What, a little pasta? Little salad?
- Pasta. Yeah.
A little side of:
I'm taking the Fifth on that.
- You're taking the Fifth?
- Yeah.
Whoa, Nicky, Nicky, that means
that you sealed the deal. You did it.
He's back from the dead,
ladies and gentlemen.
- Cripes, I gotta call her.
- Whoa, no, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What? Why? What for?
I'm gonna tell her I had a great time,
that kind of stuff.
Oh, heh, no. Oh, that's so sad, heh.
- What?
- It's not your fault.
You've been out of the game
so long. No.
What kind of jackass doesn't call?
Look, Nick, you gotta keep
the mystery going, okay?
- You gotta play it cool.
- Play it cool, my ass.
I'm taking dating advice from a guy
whose last date was with a stripper
he took to Cirque du Soleil?
She learned some nifty moves
from them.
Oh, come on, play it cool.
I'm not 14.
Okay, okay, Nick.
I will allow you to call her back,
but if she doesn't pick up,
Nick, please, please, please
don't leave a message.
What...?
Hey, that's my car! Stop! Stop!
Wait a minute!
Come on!
Aw, son of a...
Not your day, Morelli.
Hey, Fierro, give me a ride, would you?
Help a brother out.
Attaboy, attaboy.
I hope you don't mind riding
with the Sarge.
Oh, he's great.
The tongue on him,
he's drooling all over me.
Calm down.
Calm down? I hate dogs.
- How can you hate dogs?
- I'm allergic.
- You are not allergic.
- Emotionally, I am.
Good boy. Good boy.
Easy. Good dog. Good dog.
- You know, they can smell the fear.
- Okay.
I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of you.
I'm not afraid of you.
Once I pull him over,
it's all you, Morelli.
- I can't have anything to do with this.
- I'll take her from here.
847 in pursuit of a vehicle.
Need available units now.
10-4. We're en route from Fremont.
Sorry, ladies, gotta take a detour.
So, sarge, what about my car?
Hang on, boys.
Driver, step out of
the vehicle. Keep your hands in the air.
Step out of the vehicle.
Do not look at me. Do not face me.
On your knees.
Face down.
Search. Search.
- Fierro here. We got this...
- No, no, no.
Come on, Fierro. Don't even think
about searching that vehicle.
Fierro, you do not have sufficient PC
to make a narc search.
You're gonna need a judge's order.
I will...
Judge Taylor says hi.
The last time I do you a favor.
- There's been a mistake.
- Don't say a word.
Who are you?
We're your lawyers.
I swear I had no idea
there were drugs in that car, okay?
There's been a mistake. Believe me.
Yeah, then why would you spend
your time leading the cops
on that high-speed chase
back there?
I ran a light, okay?
And I freaked, I don't know. I thought
they'd assume the car was stolen.
Why would they assume?
Did you steal the van?
No, I didn't steal the van. I...
It belonged to this girl
I met down in Ensenada, all right?
I was there on break
and we kind of had a thing.
Oh, God, you...
Someone's gotta call my dad.
Tell him there's a misunderstanding.
Uh, any of you. One of you...
We'll take care of that. We'll take care
of that. You gotta calm down.
- Calm down, will you?
- I'm trying.
- This girl got a name?
- Uh...
Mia, yes. Mia Randall.
- She American?
- Yeah, yeah. She's a senior at UNLV.
Doug, did Mia ask you
to drive her car back here?
Okay, look, I know this sounds
sketchy, but it's not like that, all right?
Mia has this ex, and he was there,
and, you know, she was afraid
that he'd follow her on the way home.
- She took a plane and asked me if...
- Drive her car back here.
Yes, fine. She asked me
to drive her car back and I did,
but she didn't pack it full of drugs.
She lied to you, Doug.
Either that or you're lying to us.
Wait, uh, so you guys took my phone
- before I came in here.
- We got your phone.
Look at the last video, uh,
before I got put in here.
Where?
- Yeah, right there.
- Mm, that was fun.
Just thinking about
what we just did.
- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.
- Thinking about what's coming next.
- Oh, what's next?
Hmm, so many things could be next.
She wouldn't do that to me.
She wouldn't do that to him.
- She is way too hot for him.
- Probably right.
Probably? Girls that hot
don't go for anyone less than an 8.
What are you talking about?
How about a guy with charm
and humor, a little girth?
That's what they want in their life.
- What's this?
- Valentines?
- Oh, valentines.
- Nick?
How'd your date with Linda go?
- Fine.
- Yay, heh.
Yeah, but now he wants to call her.
- So what?
- Oh, um...
Look, I don't want any dating advice
from either of you.
You'll probably have me e-mail her.
E-mail is way too impersonal, Nick.
You need to text her.
But only after you Facebook stalk.
See if she commented on the date
or if there's pictures
with guys making out.
All right, that's enough.
That's enough.
I find it highly inappropriate
that my employees
are digging into my sex life.
- Sex? As in you got in on, ha, ha.
- Scram.
A Detective Fierro's on the line.
He wants to interrogate Doug.
Yeah, I'm on my way.
Don't be stupid.
Linda here. You know what to do.
Hello, Linda. Uh, this is Nick.
I know it's kind of old-fashioned,
me calling,
but, uh, well, I'm a little old...
If you are satisfied,
press one.
To rerecord, press two.
Hello, Linda.
This is, uh, Nick Morelli.
I wanted to tell you that I had such a
great time last night. I really did.
And, um, I was thinking that
maybe if you wanted to do it again...
Well, I mean, not it.
When I say "it," I don't mean,
you know, it. I mean, you know, do...
Message sent. Goodbye.
Damn it.
Uh, Doug's dad is here.
- All right, bring him in.
- All right.
The amount of cocaine
that was found
was pretty substantial,
Mr. Christensen, it's 30 bricks.
That carries a minimum of ten
years, a lifetime, maximum.
Well, Doug couldn't have known
that stuff was in that car.
I mean, my son is not a drug dealer.
Has he ever gotten
into any trouble before?
- Drug use? Juvie records?
- No. He doesn't even drink.
He works two jobs.
He studies on the weekends.
Ever since his mom died
when he was 14,
he's just been this little man.
You know, so responsible.
Good. That's good.
Well, maybe we can convince the jury
that a clean-cut kid was conned.
- Conned?
- We think a woman tricked him.
She made him fall in love with her
and then asked him
to drive her car back from Mexico.
All we know about her
is that she was American.
- And he met her in Ensenada?
- Yeah.
Why?
Did he ever mention this woman
to you?
No, no, no. It's just...
You can't let my son go to jail
for this.
Well, we'll try to everything we can
to prevent that.
We'll do our best.
This girl that asked you to do this,
this Mia Randall,
she goes to your same school?
Uh, yeah, yeah, but we never met.
So you agreed to drive a vehicle
for a woman that you'd never met?
Hey, watch the tone.
I mean, I knew her.
We'd spent, like, a week together.
You do any drugs with her,
Mr. Christensen?
My client's gonna refrain
from answering at this time.
- Doug, it's okay. You're doing fine.
- You knew what was in that car.
- I'm warning you.
- If you don't come clean, we can't help.
Okay, that's it.
We're out of here. Come on, Doug.
Doug? Hey, Doug, you okay?
- I'm such an idiot.
- Doug?
- I knew something was wrong.
- I need a moment.
I knew it. I knew it,
but I did it, anyway. I'm such an idiot.
- Stop talking.
- Your client is giving information.
- I knew the second I...
- Doug. Doug.
- Stop intervening.
- Doug. Doug!
- What is he on?
- Get a medic.
Doug. Get a medic in here now!
You said you didn't know
there were drugs in the car.
- I didn't know.
- Your toxicology report said
you had enough blow in your system
to light up the strip.
I'm sorry.
Sorry for what?
For lying to us
or swallowing a big bag of cocaine?
That bag was in your stomach
for eight hours, leaking.
- You could've died, man.
- You gotta be straight with us.
Right now,
we are the only thing standing
between you
and a life full of prison showers.
Nurse Anderson,
to four west nursing station.
Nurse Anderson,
to four west nursing station.
Okay.
I met Mia and, heh, she was beautiful.
You know, she wanted to party.
We were in the car,
and we were listening to music,
and we were drinking,
and she was kissing me,
and then before you know it,
she pulled out a bag of coke, all right?
I don't even do that stuff, I swear.
But for the first time in my life,
I had a chance with a girl
who was way out of my league.
So, yes,
I did some coke down in Mexico.
Then I think she threw it
in the glove box.
It was the last thing on my mind
at the time.
On the drive back,
I found the bag.
And I know I should've thrown it out,
but I didn't. I wasn't thinking.
I didn't realize I ran the light
until the cop pulled up.
And at that point,
I knew I couldn't get away. I freaked.
I swallowed the bag.
No one's gonna buy that you didn't
know about the kilos in the trunk,
but you knew about the eight ball
in your compartment.
This is gonna put a dent
in your credibility.
But you need to prove that Mia's ex
was the one who set me up.
He wanted to get back at you
so he planted $3 million
worth of merchandise in your car?
It didn't happen, Doug.
Mia conned you into this.
Oh, God.
I'm going to prison, aren't I?
Hi, Linda, it's me again.
Yeah, I know it might seem
a little strange,
the message I left before,
but your phone cut me off
right in mid-sentence. And I, heh...
What I really wanted
to say to you was...
Message sent. Goodbye.
What are you doing?
You called her, didn't you?
Maybe. Maybe.
Yeah, I left her a message,
or two, okay? Two messages.
- Nicky?
- Oh, come on. This is complicated.
Don't call her. Call her.
Texting. Facebook. Intersect.
And then she doesn't call back?
What's that about, Pete?
- You just gave her all the power.
- I don't wanna hear about that.
Tell me what's going on.
What do you got?
- More bad news. All right, here we go.
- Great.
The van was stolen.
The only prints found on it
were Doug's
and surprise, surprise,
Mia is not a UNLV student.
Matter of fact,
there is actually no record
of a Mia Randall anywhere.
Which means you and me, buddy,
we got no defense.
Well, phew,
she's a pro, for sure, Pete.
I think we gotta call Tony
on this one.
Valasco? You sure he'll pull himself
away from the poker table?
He did a lot of work in Mexico
as a DEA and he owes me one.
Let's give him a shot, what the hell.
Oh, great.
Porterhouse, medium rare,
baked potato loaded,
side of lasagna and the flan.
Oh, thanks, Johnny.
You planning on feeding
a school of orphans?
I'm tense.
I eat when I'm tense. Move.
Thank you, Johnny.
- Pete will pick it up.
- Heh.
Ninety-two eighty-seven,
cash or charge?
- Uh, whoa, Nick, hold on a second.
- Hey, don't be cheap. Leave a tip.
Yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You owe five months at 2K,
that's 10 large plus interest.
Yeah, well, you still owe me 300
from the Super Bowl.
Damn, heh.
Damn, Pete. Hey, you can't just be
sneaking up on people like that.
- Man, how'd you find me?
- I, uh, called your mother.
- I'm starting to regret it now too.
- Ha, ha, sorry about that, bro.
It's just that, you know,
people get real pissed
when you're taking their stuff.
So, what, you, uh, a repo guy now?
Repo dude, like, uh Repo Suave?
Hey. You want another wrist lock?
Huh? Heh.
- Joking, man. Joking. Come on.
- Ha, ha.
Listen, I, uh, got this case.
Kid goes down to Ensenada,
meets a girl, falls in love,
drives her car back to Vegas.
Let me guess, uh,
car was full of powder?
You see a lot of those as a DEA?
More than I can count.
Any way I can get access
to those files?
Ugh, look, man,
I'm in enough trouble already, okay?
I'm the one who got you off.
You're a free man now.
Ugh, yeah, and I'd like to keep it
that way.
Besides, I can't just lift
every mule case out of Baja.
Unless you can get me more intel
on this chick.
Like, I'm talking something specific,
there ain't much I can do, okay?
Hey!
Hey, that's my car! What the hell
are you doing? Oh, come on!
It's my mother's 85th birthday.
I have a car.
Possession, Your Honor.
Defendant had a significant amount
- of cocaine in his system.
- Let me get this.
You want a second felony count
for what the kid ate?
The medical examiner would testify
that acute cocaine toxicity
would indicate the ingestion
of a 4-gram bag.
That's a Class D felony.
Your Honor, whatever was
in my client's system was digested.
It can't be weighed. Mr. Ward here
can't prove that he ate 4 grams.
I mean, what if it was less than 4?
Then it's a Class E felony.
- Are you willing to accept a Class E?
- No.
Because the discovery
was made without a warrant,
this whole thing
should be tossed out.
There's a Fourth Amendment issue
here, counsel?
Yes. The police interviewed
my client's docket without a warrant.
Oh, please, counsel. Your Honor,
there was probable cause.
My client collapsed during questioning.
It could've been stress.
It could've been
a thousand other sicknesses.
I'll allow the additional charge,
Class E felony, simple possession.
Possession carries probation.
It's hardly worth the court's time.
Uh, Mr. Ward,
you asked for the charge, not me.
That's very good.
Thank you, Your Honor.
- Permission to approach the bench?
- Yes.
Your Honor,
my key witness is still in Mexico.
I need two days to get her
on the stand.
Fine. I will extend.
You better produce that witness
or you will pay me a trial.
- Are we clear?
- That is clear.
Thank you, Your Honor.
You can go.
- Uh, what happened?
- Just, uh, give us a moment.
Nick, are you nuts? We're never
gonna find Mia in two days.
Things take forever down there.
You ever try to order a margarita
without salt? It takes an hour.
- You got a better plan?
- Yes.
She's a pro. We find other perps
that she's conned to prove a pattern.
Okay, that's great. You do that.
But it doesn't prove
that Doug was set up.
We need Mia on the stand
in front of a jury.
- I'll call you when I get something.
- All right.
- Mr. Morelli?
- Yes.
Uh, I heard you were saying something
about that girl.
Yeah, we need to find her.
I, uh, think I can help.
She's a prostitute.
I hired her for Doug.
You hired her?
I don't understand, Dad. Why?
All right, Doug, Doug,
I know this is hard for you to hear,
but we need to know exactly
how your father went about this.
I called Doug's hotel, Playa Azul.
And I asked the concierge
to make sure Doug had a good time.
I told him Doug was young,
somewhat inexperienced
and that the girl shouldn't let on
that she was hired.
I am so sorry.
I'm about to spend the rest of my life
in prison and you're sorry?
I've been trying to fix it
ever since the arrest.
Uh, I've been trying
to contact the concierge,
- but the man won't talk to me.
- Sir, he's probably in on it.
Why, Dad? Why?
After your mother died,
you had to step up.
And I'm grateful.
But I just...
I just wished things
could be different for you.
I just...
I wanted you to have fun.
Yeah, well, you know what, Dad?
It's been fun.
It's been awesome.
Thank you.
He could've gone to any college
he wanted to.
But he stayed here in Vegas.
He stayed for me.
Look, man,
I know you gotta feel terrible.
Look, no offense, Lisa,
but you actually have no idea.
I mean, I'm about to go to prison. Me.
My dad's a jerk.
The only relationship I've ever had
I just found out was fake.
I'm still the undateable loser
I've always been.
I'd date you.
Thank you.
What? I'm not cougaring him.
Just saying if he was four years older,
I would.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You know what's funny?
Even when I realized
that she had duped me,
you know, into taking the drugs,
I thought to myself
maybe it was still real.
You know, maybe she felt it too.
Hey, this woman is a con artist.
Honestly, you never stood a chance.
And that's not on you.
One day, you are gonna find a girl
that really digs you, you know?
Where am I gonna find her?
In prison?
All right, tell me you got something.
- Thanks to Doug's dad, we do.
- Tony and I have been doing digging.
Found these three guys
all arrested last year.
Two in California, one in Texas.
All three went on vacation
down in Ensenada,
told their concierge they were looking
to pay for a little company, fell in love,
bam, next they're getting busted
for trying to smuggle a car
full of cocaine across the border.
Look at them.
Hmm, little vulnerable, little lonely.
Concierge must've seen them
and decided
that instead of calling a hooker,
he'd call your girl, Mia.
Probably gets himself
a little kickback from the cartel.
Yeah, then Mia gets
these poor lonely suckers
- to do whatever she wants.
- Exactly.
So I funneled this info
back to the DEA,
and turns out,
they've been looking for her too.
Let me tell you, woman's got skills.
Uh, changes her name
about once a month.
Changes her location.
But now, thanks to Doug's dad,
we know where she is.
Even better,
we know how to find her.
All we gotta do is, uh, get down
to the Hotel Playa Azul,
go up to the concierge,
describe the kind of guy who fits
Mia's marks, and, boom, that's it.
Get her up to her room, isolate her,
and, hello, deportation.
We're gonna need help
getting her out of Mexico.
I already spoke to my connection
with the Federales. Good to go.
I talked to the U.S. Attorneys' Office.
Got Bukant to agree
that if we deliver Mia,
he'll let her testify on Doug's behalf
and grant her immunity.
And the best part is...
One of you is gonna have to do
a little acting and pose as her john.
- Why couldn't you be the guy?
- You're good with girls.
Look, because you fit the description
a little better, that's it.
What are you saying?
I look like a lonely schlubby loser?
Is that what you're saying?
- Is that the deal?
- No, Nick. Not at all.
In fact,
you're looking good these days.
You've been working out, I can tell.
Little bigger up top.
- Tighter in the middle. Got V-thing.
- Oh, shut up. Shut up.
Hey, and that yoga's paying off too.
Your butt, very firm.
Get off me.
See what you doing, Nick?
Giving her the power.
Checking your phone.
Making sure you got service.
- Did she call? Didn't she call?
- Shut up.
Guys, guys, okay.
We're all set now, okay?
I need you by the pool in an hour,
wearing this.
This?
It's not bad enough you guys got me
looking like a pi?a colada?
- She's got to ID you, Nick.
- All right.
Okay, and then bring her up
to the room at 7 sharp.
I got it. I got it. You clowns
better be there when I'm there.
- Oh, we'll be there.
- Nicolito, no sex-o, por favor.
- Get out of here.
- Ahem.
Put that phone down.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
I'm usually not that aggressive,
but ever since the divorce,
I have a new philosophy.
- Oh, crap.
- Go for it.
Got it.
And I saw you and I went for it.
- Heh.
- I like a man with a hat.
Thank you.
So you're a very nice girl.
- Oh, I sense a "but" coming here. Heh.
- But...
- Judy? Judy Baker from Flint?
- Yes.
- It's me, Roger. Remember?
- I'm not sure, heh.
Let me buy you a drink.
- Oh!
- Go for it.
Okay, why, thank you.
- Wait, wait, wait, your purse.
- Oh, what...? Oh, thank you, heh.
- You're Spanish.
- You remember.
- Oh, it's coming back, heh.
- Look at that. I knew it.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Ugh, it's, uh crowded, huh?
- Well, yeah. Now it is.
- Hi, I'm Mia.
- I'm Nick.
Nice to meet you. Ha, ha.
- Jinx.
- Owe me a coke.
Oh, how about I share it with you?
- We'll split a coke.
- Hmm. Perfect.
Ooh!
That sounds dirty.
Hey, Bukant, we got her.
Well, my boss gets back
from his tennis lesson
- and we're ready to go.
- What?
Federal procedure.
He's gotta sign the document
and I send it back to you,
then you sign it.
Yes.
God, this just...
This feels so right, doesn't it? It does.
Well, you know,
you wanna go back to my, uh, room?
Uh-huh.
Well, this is it.
So would you, uh, like a drink?
Shh.
Come on, come on, come on.
God, where have you been
all my life?
Well, I've, uh... I started in Chicago
and then I moved to Vegas.
Why don't we make ourselves
a little more comfortable?
I'm comfortable. What?
Wow.
Uh, one question.
Uh, let's just say you go out with a guy
and you're having a good time...
Mm-hm.
- and, you know,
you, uh, seal the deal...
Ooh.
Let's do that. I like sealing the deal.
But the next day, do you call?
Forget about her, Nicky.
I'm here now.
Wow.
Uh, it's all approved on this end.
No, no, no.
Let me do that. Let me do that.
I like to do things myself.
Well, you know what, Nicky?
- You can keep your shirt on for this.
- I can?
Jig is up, Mia.
You are now in federal custody.
Sorry, Nick.
Oh.
Hey, Ward, got some news for you.
Nice tan, boys. Heard about
your little Aztec adventure.
Yeah, well, if Mia gets on the stand,
it's game over for you, my friend.
I suggest you give us two years
plus five years probation.
Oh, please, you two, I can smell
your bluff from a mile away.
No plea. No way.
And I hope you two had fun in the sun
because this is about to get painful.
After you.
Oh, I'm sorry, shorty, um, adults only.
Oh, you can do better than that.
- State your name for the record.
- Ashley Taylor.
- Is that what Doug knew you as?
- No. He knew me as Mia Randall.
Did you, while residing in Mexico,
arrange to have drugs transported
into the United States?
- Yes.
- How?
I was asked
to target a certain kind of guy.
You know, the type that doesn't really
get talked to at parties.
How did you meet these men?
They would come looking for a girl.
I made myself available
and then I asked them
to drive a car back to the States.
- Is that what happened with Doug?
- Yes.
I was told that his dad wanted
to hire someone
to show his kid a good time.
I felt bad for him, really.
He didn't come to Baja
looking for trouble.
He was just this sweet kid.
Your Honor, I would like to show
defense Exhibits B, C and D,
which have been already
entered into evidence.
Miss Taylor,
you recognize these individuals?
Yes. Those were
three other men I met.
And were you aware
that these innocent men
were arrested for trafficking
because of what you did?
Yeah. My boss told me about it.
He told you
to convince these men to drive,
but they did not know that
there were drugs in the car, did they?
Not until they got busted. No.
Did Doug know?
He had no idea.
Thank you. Nothing further.
Miss Taylor, you get paid to lie,
is that accurate?
I guess. Sure.
So as a professional liar,
how do we know you're not lying now?
- Well, I'm not getting paid now.
- Heh.
But you are, aren't you?
You've been, um, granted immunity
from prosecution
in exchange for this testimony.
Is that not correct?
- Yes.
- So that's payment, Miss Taylor.
- Or is it Miss Randall?
- Objection.
Your testimony has value, miss,
only if it helps the defense.
If it does not, the defense
could not have convinced this court
to grant you immunity.
You'll be worthless.
Just a lying hooker.
- Objection.
- She is what she is, judge.
Sustained. Mr. Ward,
watch the language.
My apologies, Your Honor. I certainly
didn't mean to hurt her feelings.
Nothing further.
Oh, man, the poor kid's life is over
before it even started.
I don't know. Closing could save us.
- Have you talked to him yet?
- Twenty minutes ago. He had nothing.
I am not going in there again.
Linda.
Zoey, don't.
Please, don't do it. Don't do it.
- This is gonna suck.
- No.
- Nick?
- What?
- Well, I...
- Spit it.
I know I'm under strict instruction
to never, ever interrupt you
when you're writing
your closing, but...
Oh, you are writing it.
No. I haven't come up
with a close yet.
Linda called.
- She did?
- Yes.
There was an injured bear
at a retreat up in Red Rocks.
- An injured bear.
- Mm-hm.
And she had to get over there
and there was no cell service.
Ahh...
Just got your nine messages now
and wants to know
which one she should listen to.
Does that mean
she hasn't heard any yet?
- Well, I think...
- Is she being sarcastic?
- No.
- What did she sound like?
Did she sound like
she was hurt or?
She sounded like a woman
who just got nine messages.
- What were you thinking?
- I don't know.
I don't know, Zoey.
I wasn't thinking. That's the problem.
- I got the close.
- Nice.
Thank you. Go.
Is it working? You writing, buddy?
You writing it? Yeah.
The defense wants you to believe
that Doug had nothing to do with this,
but that's exactly
what every single drug mule alleges.
Come on.
They found drugs in Doug's car.
They found drugs in Doug's stomach.
And Doug admitted on tape
that he knew something was wrong,
but that he did it anyway.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if it walks like a mule,
it talks like a mule, well...
Well, you have to decide.
Good morning.
You know, I went to college
in Southern Illinois,
and just before winter break,
I met this girl.
We were at a party.
We were so happy
that the semester was over.
And, uh, we got to talking.
And she...
Turns out, she was from Chicago too,
just like me.
Now, she was from the north side
and I was from the south side,
but I was willing to overlook that
because she was just so damn pretty.
So when I tell her
I'm driving home for the holidays,
she says, "Can you give me a lift?"
Ha, ha, can I give her a lift?
Of course, I can give her a lift.
So two days later,
we're driving north to Chicago.
It's a six-hour drive.
Huge snowstorm.
We're on the road forever.
And I got to tell you,
we had a great time.
But here's the thing:
I didn't live in Chicago anymore.
My parents had moved to Evansville
when I was 16.
That's, like, I don't know,
about 50 miles from college, right?
Yeah. You're right.
I drove ten hours out of my way
just to get to know a girl.
I don't know, you do stupid things
when you're a kid, right?
You see, those weird chemicals
that are released when you fall in love,
they shut off a section of your brain
that gives you the ability to reason.
I mean, love literally makes a fool
out of us.
Hey, it happened to me this week.
I left nine different messages for a girl.
And on the last message,
I sang "Who's That Lady?"
What a fool.
In order to send Doug to prison,
the state must prove
that Doug had intent
to traffic those drugs.
But all they proved was that Doug
was trying to please a girl.
Yeah, he knew something was off.
Just like I knew something was off
driving 600 miles in a snowstorm.
But I did it
for the same reason he did.
Now, Doug did not know that
that car was packed with drugs.
He might've been a fool to fall for it,
but, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
that is all he did.
He fell in love.
Thank you.
Mr. Foreman,
do you have a verdict?
We have, Your Honor.
"Case 94-K76990, in the matter
of Doug Christensen.
On count one, simple possession
of a controlled substance
without an intent to sell,
a Class E felony,
guilty.
On count two, trafficking,
possession with intent to sell,
a Class A felony,
- not guilty."
- Ugh.
Your Honor, since a Class E
for ingesting drugs requires probation,
we ask that bail be continued
until sentencing.
So ordered.
You're a lucky man, Mr. Christensen.
Stay out of trouble for the next month
and you get a second chance.
All right, you're free.
I can't even begin to tell you.
- Thank you.
- Very welcome.
How the hell did you get the Federales
to cooperate in the first place?
- Hmm, just pretended I was still DEA.
- Oh, I didn't hear that. I didn't hear it.
- What? I do something wrong?
- Oh.
You never mind that.
Tony, you are a terrific investigator.
Yes, you are. Cheers, my friend.
So you back in business now
or what?
Hey, as long as you pay, I'm back.
And if you don't,
I'll just, uh, take Nick's Cadi.
Oh, yeah, in your dreams, repo man.
In your dreams.
- Ho, ho, ho.
- Oh.
You cannot answer that, okay?
You gotta play hard to get.
You gotta act like you lost interest.
- No kidding.
- What, now he knows?
- Great. No. Give it to me.
- Ah, ah.
- Give it to me. I'll take it.
- Ow.
Hello, Linda.
- Well, hi.
- Hi.
I am...
I am so sorry
about leaving all those messages.
- Thought it was an emergency.
- No, it was just a...
I was away up in the canyon
and I had no reception
and we had this bear
and he'd been attacked
by a cougar...
Oh, oh, heh.
Oh, no kidding.
- So he's doing all right then?
- Wait. It's amazing...
Uh, Linda, I... Can you just hold on
for one quick second? I'm so sorry.
Oh, yeah, no worries.
Judge, how did you get
my cell phone?
Yes, it does matter.
I hope you're calling
to give me my $250 back.
All right. I'll be right there.
Don't say a word.
Linda, I am so sorry.
If you'd like to make
a call, hang up and try again.
Where are you going?
I understand my client evoked his right
for an attorney?
Evening, Morelli.
Evening, judge.
Good you're here.
- As you can see, I've been arrested.
- Mm-hm.
I have reason to believe
I'll soon be charged
with 30 to 40 counts of felony,
possession of a controlled substance,
engaging in prostitution.
Oh, and, uh, there'll probably be
a weapons charge as well.
We should be able
to get that dismissed.
Hey, you've had a very busy night
tonight, judge.
Just keep your mouth shut.
Only talk to me.
What?
Easy with the lady there, boys.
Let's both pray to God
she doesn't die.