The Cool Kids (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 20 - Indecent Proposal - full transcript
You're probably wondering why
I'm not having dinner with y'all.
Honestly, I think that's
the biggest dinner
I've ever seen you have.
This is a pre-dinner, post-lunch snack.
This is "dunch."
And I'm eating light
because John is in my place right now
cooking us a very special dinner.
He said he had something big to ask me.
I bet he's gonna propose. Oh!
Sid's gonna get married.
What?
- Shut up!
- Oh, come on.
He's crazy about you.
He's fixing a special meal.
He has something important to ask you.
- Hello!
- I'm sorry,
but didn't I tell you to shut up?
It's way too soon.
We've only been together six months.
And we've only had sex
182 and a half times.
What was the half time?
It was just good for me.
Stop.
Why are you so afraid of commitment?
- Stop eating. Go back to your...
- No, no, no, no, no, no! Uh-uh.
I am not taking dating
advice from a woman
who's tricking a guy into dating her.
What's this, now?
Well, it's this new
guy I've been seeing.
His name is Richard,
and he went to Harvard,
which, I've got to admit,
was kind of a turn-on.
So, when he asked me where I went,
I just kind of blurted
out Yale. It's just...
it was a tiny little
casual first date lie.
Tiny? Ha.
You didn't even go to college.
You went to Avis Rent-A-Car
front desk girl training school.
And you didn't even graduate!
All right, I really like this guy.
He's smart, he's sophisticated,
and no offense, you guys,
but it's kind of nice
to hang out with someone who
has lived a successful life.
Listen up, everyone.
I, Hank Henderson, do
hereby bequeath to you
my worldly possessions.
To you, Charlie... my
beloved football phone.
Oh...
Now, when you answer
you say, "I'm open."
They won't get it, but you will.
Oh, Hank, I love it, but...
but what's going on?
What, y'all didn't hear? I'm dying.
And to you, Sid...
I give you my cherished
Anquan Boldin jersey.
Oh, thank you, Hank.
I will never wear this.
And last, to my dearest Margaret.
I give you... these.
'Cause, uh... women be shopping.
Mm. Well, I'm insulted,
but I do need hangers.
Uh, does this have anything to do
with that scary little
mole you had tested?
My doctor was supposed to call me
by 5:00 p.m. Friday with the results.
It is now Friday...
5:02.
This is an outrage!
Look, just call me up
and tell me I'm dying.
Hank, you are fine.
Don't let that quack spin you out.
That guy's the worst.
Just like all these doctors,
all they really care about
is money and sunglasses.
Quick question: what?
Our doctor stole my damn sunglasses.
I left them in the lobby,
and then I'm told,
"Oh, they're not in lost and found."
Well, they should check his stupid face.
I can't not know my results
the whole weekend.
I'll have a heart attack.
I want a big funeral, y'all.
Give me the works.
Oh, Hank. Settle down.
Just stop by my place. I'll
give you a couple of Xanax.
Oh, sure. Let's just
throw pill addiction
into the mix, huh?
No, no. Screw that.
You know, doctors can't
treat people like this.
We're going down to his office.
Yes, it is time to take a stand.
Yes, a stand against sunglass thievery.
You told him...
you... went to Yale.
I think what, uh, Fitzgerald
was ultimately trying to say is
that class is a...
an illusion.
Now, wouldn't you agree?
- Totally.
- Hmm.
Yeah, it's like,
"Where are you, class?"
"Here, boy. Yoo-hoo. Class!"
But it's not there.
Because it's an illusion.
You know, his full name was
F. Scott Fitzgerald, so...
Uh...
Boy.
I'm really slumming it
- with you tonight.
- What?
What do you mean? Why do you say that?
Well, y-you know, because, uh...
I'm dating a Yalie.
Oh, yeah, right.
Big ol' Yale head here.
And you went to Harvard.
So, you're jokingly saying
that Yale is below Harvard,
which I guess makes me pretty angry.
You are so cute when you get angry.
You should see me at the post office.
You know, I have no problem
with Harvard being under Yale tonight,
if you catch my drift.
Oh, your drift has been caught.
Mm.
You're talking about doing it, right?
Oh, my God, John.
My friends had the craziest
theory that tonight,
you were gonna...
Oh, damn it.
What's wrong?
Did you dunch?
Yep. That's the problem.
I brunched, lunched and dunched.
Maybe we scratch dinner
and just watch a movie.
In silence.
Maybe one of those rom-coms where
people get married, it
just ruins their lives.
I made a paella.
I've been planning this for days.
For days?
John, who plans a dinner for days?
I'm dating a psychopath.
You should be committed.
Unless you're afraid of commitment,
which I am not.
Can we just sit down
and enjoy this dinner?
Now I'm kind of nervous.
But there's something that I...
- really want to ask you.
- Wait.
Uh...
need to wash your hands.
Can't eat dinner with dirty hands.
What, were you born in a barn?
Actually, I was.
Um, the way Papa tells it,
Mama was milking a cow when the first...
Just wash your friggin' hands!
And when you...
come back...
you can ask me whatever it was
that you wanted to ask me.
I have got to get out of here.
Hell yeah.
Damn.
Everybody's gone home.
Now how am I gonna see my results?
Well, lucky for you, I
brought this brick.
Charlie, we're not gonna throw a
brick through the glass door.
What if it sets off the alarm?
Well, then we can use the
brick to smash the alarm.
Well, another way we could
use the brick would be...
We're not using the brick.
Or are we?
All right, I'm out of ideas.
Oh. Good evening.
Um, I locked my brick in the office,
and I don't have my keys.
You guys doctors?
Yes.
Can't be too careful.
Told you the brick would work.
Hmm.
"Positive."
Well, what the hell does that mean?
Is this a good positive
or a bad positive?
All right, no sign of my sunglasses,
so I took this stethoscope
as collateral.
Charlie, can you read this?
All I can make out is "positive."
Oh, well, that's great.
Uh, positive is good, isn't it?
I mean, is it?
What if I tested positive
for something bad?
Oh, my heart is going crazy.
Oh, let me listen.
Good Lord, man.
You've got no heartbeat at all.
Say, brother.
Look at this.
My man. Can you read this?
I thought you guys were doctors.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're just, uh, looking
for a-a third opinion.
Well...
it says here positive, so...
this dude's gonna die.
You hear that, Charlie?
He said I'm gonna die.
Hank, he's the janitor.
He doesn't know.
I prefer custodial engineer.
All right, there's got to be
another way to figure this out.
- Uh...
- Charlie.
I want white doves at my funeral.
If your cheap ass tries
to paint pigeons white,
I will haunt you.
Wait a minute, Hank.
I got the doctor's home
address right here.
Why don't we just go to
his house and ask him?
My man.
- Now you thinking.
- Yeah.
Let's go get my damn sunglasses back.
- Here we are.
- Oh, wow.
Where are my keys?
They're probably under
my library card... s.
- I have several.
- Yeah. Well,
should we just make love right out here
- in the hallway?
- Oh. Oh.
Richard.
- This isn't Princeton.
- No.
Oh! Hi, y'all.
I'm just hiding out from my
boyfriend. I hope that's cool.
I have company, Sid.
Oh, well, don't mind me.
I'll put my headphones on.
Y'all just go to town on each other!
Get buck!
Sid, come here, would you?
Richard, will you excuse me for a moment
while I speak to my
extremely unwelcome friend?
Sure.
I'll just read this...
- US Weekly?
- Oh, that.
That's a joke subscription.
It was a prank from a fellow Yalie.
Oh, yeah.
- Hillary Clinton.
- Ugh.
Sid, that hot hunk of
Harvard man over there
who is reading about Kylie
Jenner's butt secrets
is about to get done. By me.
Go away.
I can't, Margaret. You were right, okay?
John is about to propose.
I just need to buy a little time
till he goes to work at 9:00.
You will not even know I'm here.
What, did you cook something?
No, I want to navigate the
most stressful situation
of my life without popovers.
It's time for you to leave.
Is it?
Or is it time for Richard
to find out about
Little Miss Rent-A-Car dropout?
Oh, you wouldn't.
Oh, but I would.
Don't test me, woman.
Open up, McCormick! We
know you're in there!
Charlie, if this is a bad positive,
I want you to call Seal.
Have him sing at my funeral.
Naturally, I want him to
sing "Kiss from a Rose."
If you could get him to
sing "Kiss from a Hank,"
that'd be ideal.
But I hear he's very
possessive of his lyrics.
Come on, McCormick, open up!
Who the hell are you two?
Don't be alarmed, ma'am.
We don't have a brick.
Why would you say that?
That is super alarming.
Um, we're your husband's patients.
We need to talk to him about
something very important.
It's a matter of life and death.
And sunglasses.
He's not here.
- He's working late at the office.
- No, he's not.
We were just there.
There's no one but a weird
custodial engineer.
Wait, what?
That lying, cheating bastard.
He promised me his secretary
was the last one.
You know what? I'm done.
This marriage is over!
Yeah, well, you seem to
have a lot on your plate.
But real quick,
can you read your husband's handwriting?
Look, the man is a coward.
If he didn't call you by 5:00,
it's probably pretty bad.
So, third date, second location.
Things must be going well.
I mean, tell me if I'm wrong,
but I don't think I am.
- Uh...
- You don't have to answer his questions.
He was just about to leave, anyway.
Margaret, would you sing the
Yale fight song for us?
I forgot how it goes.
Well, Sid, if I sing the fight song,
I'm afraid that I might want to fight!
Uh, you know, I think
I'm gonna head out.
Yeah, Richie, that
might be for the best.
There's a lot going on here.
Richard, stay. Sid, this is insane.
You can't hide here forever
pounding popovers.
If you think John is moving too fast,
just tell him that.
Be an adult.
Damn it. You're right.
I have been a child.
John is my partner.
We can rationally discuss this.
Margaret, it's John.
Is Sid in there?
Oh! Oh! He is relentless!
He's trying to propose to me!
Richard, do something!
I was never here.
Everything's getting banged
around here except me.
Did I just hear Sid screaming?
Well, Margaret, it's been fun.
Well, not really. Dinner w-was fun.
But since then,
it's gotten really weird!
You know what? Just let
me get rid of these guys,
and then you and I are gonna play
the most exciting Harvard-Yale game yet.
You feel me?
Yep.
- Hi. Is Sid here?
- Nope. Catch you later.
Son of a bitch loves to knock
on the door, doesn't he?
All right, all right.
But if it comes up, I went to Yale.
Okay.
See? Sid's not here.
I followed a trail of
paella to your apartment.
And I smell popovers.
That can't all be a coincidence.
Uh, I just made a batch because
Richard here loves 'em.
- I don't love popovers.
- You do. You love popovers.
Say that you love popovers.
- Say it!
- I-I...
Margaret, I'm gonna take
you up on that Xanax...
Dr. McCormick?
- Hank?
- Wait, so you're their doctor?
Yes. He's my most annoying patient.
Can I get an answer on Sid?!
- He's in the bathroom.
- He's in the bathroom.
What are you doing here?
He's on a date with me.
Well, that's weird, 'cause
we were just at his house
and talked to his wife.
Your what?
- You talked to my wife?
- Ooh!
Hearing you say "wife" makes
me think you have one.
Well, he does. For now.
She's very angry.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Just calm down.
Calm down? I'm gonna
punch you in the head.
I'm gonna punch him in the head first.
Dr. McCormick, you got to tell
people that they're dying.
If you don't and they steal
their files from your office,
you got to make those records more clear
so they know what their results are.
There's no one in the bathroom!
Oh, you're still here? Go look again.
He's small. Maybe you missed him.
Is Sid here or not?!
Margaret didn't go to Yale.
Sid,
what the hell were you
doing in the ceiling?
I wanted to surprise you?
I can't believe
you lied to me about going to Yale.
I lied to you? You're married.
And, apparently, he's
banging his secretary, too.
Look, I've already said I'm sorry.
No, you haven't.
Everybody shut up!
You said you were gonna
call me, and you didn't.
Am I good positive or bad positive?
I left you a voice mail.
Oh, yeah, there it is.
Damn phones.
Your tests came back clean.
They did?
- Yes.
- Thank God.
You saved my life.
Cancel Seal, Charlie.
I'm gonna live forever.
Oh.
Margaret, this man is a keeper.
He's married. Oh, I wasted a lot of time
studying for our dates. Get out of here.
Gladly.
Oh, not so fast, bub.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
- Ooh.
- Just as I thought.
Go home and fix your marriage,
you quack bastard.
Ugh!
Some people, am I right?
Welp, I got to go get some shut-eye.
Sid.
Why do you keep running away from me?
What's going on?
The truth.
I knew you were gonna propose to me,
- and I just... lost it.
- What?
Propose?
No, I...
I booked a three-month gig in Hawaii,
and I-I wanted you to come.
I already bought the tickets.
Oh, my gosh, Hawaii.
Yeah.
I was wrong.
Egg on my face.
Oh, yeah, this is gonna be so much fun.
When are we going?
You thought I might propose
to you, and it caused you
to crawl around in Margaret's ceiling?
Like a miniature Bruce Willis?
I don't think that's a
good sign. Do you?
Well, nothing that a three-month stint
in Hawaii can't fix.
Aloha, John.
Aloha, Sid.
Oh, yeah, right.
'Cause it means "good-bye," too.
Oh, that's rough, buddy.
I'm sorry.
But if it makes you feel any better,
I look awesome in these, don't I?
Well, Sid, maybe you'll find love again.
Or maybe you won't. What do I care?
I got my life back!
Margaret, how am I gonna fix
this John-shaped hole in my heart?
Oh, sweetie. We'll figure it out.
Right after you fix the
Sid-shaped hole in my ceiling.
How did you get up there, anyway?
Oh, it was easy. I
crawled up on the sink,
and then I just pulled
myself up in the ceiling.
Here, come on. I'll show you.
I'm not having dinner with y'all.
Honestly, I think that's
the biggest dinner
I've ever seen you have.
This is a pre-dinner, post-lunch snack.
This is "dunch."
And I'm eating light
because John is in my place right now
cooking us a very special dinner.
He said he had something big to ask me.
I bet he's gonna propose. Oh!
Sid's gonna get married.
What?
- Shut up!
- Oh, come on.
He's crazy about you.
He's fixing a special meal.
He has something important to ask you.
- Hello!
- I'm sorry,
but didn't I tell you to shut up?
It's way too soon.
We've only been together six months.
And we've only had sex
182 and a half times.
What was the half time?
It was just good for me.
Stop.
Why are you so afraid of commitment?
- Stop eating. Go back to your...
- No, no, no, no, no, no! Uh-uh.
I am not taking dating
advice from a woman
who's tricking a guy into dating her.
What's this, now?
Well, it's this new
guy I've been seeing.
His name is Richard,
and he went to Harvard,
which, I've got to admit,
was kind of a turn-on.
So, when he asked me where I went,
I just kind of blurted
out Yale. It's just...
it was a tiny little
casual first date lie.
Tiny? Ha.
You didn't even go to college.
You went to Avis Rent-A-Car
front desk girl training school.
And you didn't even graduate!
All right, I really like this guy.
He's smart, he's sophisticated,
and no offense, you guys,
but it's kind of nice
to hang out with someone who
has lived a successful life.
Listen up, everyone.
I, Hank Henderson, do
hereby bequeath to you
my worldly possessions.
To you, Charlie... my
beloved football phone.
Oh...
Now, when you answer
you say, "I'm open."
They won't get it, but you will.
Oh, Hank, I love it, but...
but what's going on?
What, y'all didn't hear? I'm dying.
And to you, Sid...
I give you my cherished
Anquan Boldin jersey.
Oh, thank you, Hank.
I will never wear this.
And last, to my dearest Margaret.
I give you... these.
'Cause, uh... women be shopping.
Mm. Well, I'm insulted,
but I do need hangers.
Uh, does this have anything to do
with that scary little
mole you had tested?
My doctor was supposed to call me
by 5:00 p.m. Friday with the results.
It is now Friday...
5:02.
This is an outrage!
Look, just call me up
and tell me I'm dying.
Hank, you are fine.
Don't let that quack spin you out.
That guy's the worst.
Just like all these doctors,
all they really care about
is money and sunglasses.
Quick question: what?
Our doctor stole my damn sunglasses.
I left them in the lobby,
and then I'm told,
"Oh, they're not in lost and found."
Well, they should check his stupid face.
I can't not know my results
the whole weekend.
I'll have a heart attack.
I want a big funeral, y'all.
Give me the works.
Oh, Hank. Settle down.
Just stop by my place. I'll
give you a couple of Xanax.
Oh, sure. Let's just
throw pill addiction
into the mix, huh?
No, no. Screw that.
You know, doctors can't
treat people like this.
We're going down to his office.
Yes, it is time to take a stand.
Yes, a stand against sunglass thievery.
You told him...
you... went to Yale.
I think what, uh, Fitzgerald
was ultimately trying to say is
that class is a...
an illusion.
Now, wouldn't you agree?
- Totally.
- Hmm.
Yeah, it's like,
"Where are you, class?"
"Here, boy. Yoo-hoo. Class!"
But it's not there.
Because it's an illusion.
You know, his full name was
F. Scott Fitzgerald, so...
Uh...
Boy.
I'm really slumming it
- with you tonight.
- What?
What do you mean? Why do you say that?
Well, y-you know, because, uh...
I'm dating a Yalie.
Oh, yeah, right.
Big ol' Yale head here.
And you went to Harvard.
So, you're jokingly saying
that Yale is below Harvard,
which I guess makes me pretty angry.
You are so cute when you get angry.
You should see me at the post office.
You know, I have no problem
with Harvard being under Yale tonight,
if you catch my drift.
Oh, your drift has been caught.
Mm.
You're talking about doing it, right?
Oh, my God, John.
My friends had the craziest
theory that tonight,
you were gonna...
Oh, damn it.
What's wrong?
Did you dunch?
Yep. That's the problem.
I brunched, lunched and dunched.
Maybe we scratch dinner
and just watch a movie.
In silence.
Maybe one of those rom-coms where
people get married, it
just ruins their lives.
I made a paella.
I've been planning this for days.
For days?
John, who plans a dinner for days?
I'm dating a psychopath.
You should be committed.
Unless you're afraid of commitment,
which I am not.
Can we just sit down
and enjoy this dinner?
Now I'm kind of nervous.
But there's something that I...
- really want to ask you.
- Wait.
Uh...
need to wash your hands.
Can't eat dinner with dirty hands.
What, were you born in a barn?
Actually, I was.
Um, the way Papa tells it,
Mama was milking a cow when the first...
Just wash your friggin' hands!
And when you...
come back...
you can ask me whatever it was
that you wanted to ask me.
I have got to get out of here.
Hell yeah.
Damn.
Everybody's gone home.
Now how am I gonna see my results?
Well, lucky for you, I
brought this brick.
Charlie, we're not gonna throw a
brick through the glass door.
What if it sets off the alarm?
Well, then we can use the
brick to smash the alarm.
Well, another way we could
use the brick would be...
We're not using the brick.
Or are we?
All right, I'm out of ideas.
Oh. Good evening.
Um, I locked my brick in the office,
and I don't have my keys.
You guys doctors?
Yes.
Can't be too careful.
Told you the brick would work.
Hmm.
"Positive."
Well, what the hell does that mean?
Is this a good positive
or a bad positive?
All right, no sign of my sunglasses,
so I took this stethoscope
as collateral.
Charlie, can you read this?
All I can make out is "positive."
Oh, well, that's great.
Uh, positive is good, isn't it?
I mean, is it?
What if I tested positive
for something bad?
Oh, my heart is going crazy.
Oh, let me listen.
Good Lord, man.
You've got no heartbeat at all.
Say, brother.
Look at this.
My man. Can you read this?
I thought you guys were doctors.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're just, uh, looking
for a-a third opinion.
Well...
it says here positive, so...
this dude's gonna die.
You hear that, Charlie?
He said I'm gonna die.
Hank, he's the janitor.
He doesn't know.
I prefer custodial engineer.
All right, there's got to be
another way to figure this out.
- Uh...
- Charlie.
I want white doves at my funeral.
If your cheap ass tries
to paint pigeons white,
I will haunt you.
Wait a minute, Hank.
I got the doctor's home
address right here.
Why don't we just go to
his house and ask him?
My man.
- Now you thinking.
- Yeah.
Let's go get my damn sunglasses back.
- Here we are.
- Oh, wow.
Where are my keys?
They're probably under
my library card... s.
- I have several.
- Yeah. Well,
should we just make love right out here
- in the hallway?
- Oh. Oh.
Richard.
- This isn't Princeton.
- No.
Oh! Hi, y'all.
I'm just hiding out from my
boyfriend. I hope that's cool.
I have company, Sid.
Oh, well, don't mind me.
I'll put my headphones on.
Y'all just go to town on each other!
Get buck!
Sid, come here, would you?
Richard, will you excuse me for a moment
while I speak to my
extremely unwelcome friend?
Sure.
I'll just read this...
- US Weekly?
- Oh, that.
That's a joke subscription.
It was a prank from a fellow Yalie.
Oh, yeah.
- Hillary Clinton.
- Ugh.
Sid, that hot hunk of
Harvard man over there
who is reading about Kylie
Jenner's butt secrets
is about to get done. By me.
Go away.
I can't, Margaret. You were right, okay?
John is about to propose.
I just need to buy a little time
till he goes to work at 9:00.
You will not even know I'm here.
What, did you cook something?
No, I want to navigate the
most stressful situation
of my life without popovers.
It's time for you to leave.
Is it?
Or is it time for Richard
to find out about
Little Miss Rent-A-Car dropout?
Oh, you wouldn't.
Oh, but I would.
Don't test me, woman.
Open up, McCormick! We
know you're in there!
Charlie, if this is a bad positive,
I want you to call Seal.
Have him sing at my funeral.
Naturally, I want him to
sing "Kiss from a Rose."
If you could get him to
sing "Kiss from a Hank,"
that'd be ideal.
But I hear he's very
possessive of his lyrics.
Come on, McCormick, open up!
Who the hell are you two?
Don't be alarmed, ma'am.
We don't have a brick.
Why would you say that?
That is super alarming.
Um, we're your husband's patients.
We need to talk to him about
something very important.
It's a matter of life and death.
And sunglasses.
He's not here.
- He's working late at the office.
- No, he's not.
We were just there.
There's no one but a weird
custodial engineer.
Wait, what?
That lying, cheating bastard.
He promised me his secretary
was the last one.
You know what? I'm done.
This marriage is over!
Yeah, well, you seem to
have a lot on your plate.
But real quick,
can you read your husband's handwriting?
Look, the man is a coward.
If he didn't call you by 5:00,
it's probably pretty bad.
So, third date, second location.
Things must be going well.
I mean, tell me if I'm wrong,
but I don't think I am.
- Uh...
- You don't have to answer his questions.
He was just about to leave, anyway.
Margaret, would you sing the
Yale fight song for us?
I forgot how it goes.
Well, Sid, if I sing the fight song,
I'm afraid that I might want to fight!
Uh, you know, I think
I'm gonna head out.
Yeah, Richie, that
might be for the best.
There's a lot going on here.
Richard, stay. Sid, this is insane.
You can't hide here forever
pounding popovers.
If you think John is moving too fast,
just tell him that.
Be an adult.
Damn it. You're right.
I have been a child.
John is my partner.
We can rationally discuss this.
Margaret, it's John.
Is Sid in there?
Oh! Oh! He is relentless!
He's trying to propose to me!
Richard, do something!
I was never here.
Everything's getting banged
around here except me.
Did I just hear Sid screaming?
Well, Margaret, it's been fun.
Well, not really. Dinner w-was fun.
But since then,
it's gotten really weird!
You know what? Just let
me get rid of these guys,
and then you and I are gonna play
the most exciting Harvard-Yale game yet.
You feel me?
Yep.
- Hi. Is Sid here?
- Nope. Catch you later.
Son of a bitch loves to knock
on the door, doesn't he?
All right, all right.
But if it comes up, I went to Yale.
Okay.
See? Sid's not here.
I followed a trail of
paella to your apartment.
And I smell popovers.
That can't all be a coincidence.
Uh, I just made a batch because
Richard here loves 'em.
- I don't love popovers.
- You do. You love popovers.
Say that you love popovers.
- Say it!
- I-I...
Margaret, I'm gonna take
you up on that Xanax...
Dr. McCormick?
- Hank?
- Wait, so you're their doctor?
Yes. He's my most annoying patient.
Can I get an answer on Sid?!
- He's in the bathroom.
- He's in the bathroom.
What are you doing here?
He's on a date with me.
Well, that's weird, 'cause
we were just at his house
and talked to his wife.
Your what?
- You talked to my wife?
- Ooh!
Hearing you say "wife" makes
me think you have one.
Well, he does. For now.
She's very angry.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Just calm down.
Calm down? I'm gonna
punch you in the head.
I'm gonna punch him in the head first.
Dr. McCormick, you got to tell
people that they're dying.
If you don't and they steal
their files from your office,
you got to make those records more clear
so they know what their results are.
There's no one in the bathroom!
Oh, you're still here? Go look again.
He's small. Maybe you missed him.
Is Sid here or not?!
Margaret didn't go to Yale.
Sid,
what the hell were you
doing in the ceiling?
I wanted to surprise you?
I can't believe
you lied to me about going to Yale.
I lied to you? You're married.
And, apparently, he's
banging his secretary, too.
Look, I've already said I'm sorry.
No, you haven't.
Everybody shut up!
You said you were gonna
call me, and you didn't.
Am I good positive or bad positive?
I left you a voice mail.
Oh, yeah, there it is.
Damn phones.
Your tests came back clean.
They did?
- Yes.
- Thank God.
You saved my life.
Cancel Seal, Charlie.
I'm gonna live forever.
Oh.
Margaret, this man is a keeper.
He's married. Oh, I wasted a lot of time
studying for our dates. Get out of here.
Gladly.
Oh, not so fast, bub.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
- Ooh.
- Just as I thought.
Go home and fix your marriage,
you quack bastard.
Ugh!
Some people, am I right?
Welp, I got to go get some shut-eye.
Sid.
Why do you keep running away from me?
What's going on?
The truth.
I knew you were gonna propose to me,
- and I just... lost it.
- What?
Propose?
No, I...
I booked a three-month gig in Hawaii,
and I-I wanted you to come.
I already bought the tickets.
Oh, my gosh, Hawaii.
Yeah.
I was wrong.
Egg on my face.
Oh, yeah, this is gonna be so much fun.
When are we going?
You thought I might propose
to you, and it caused you
to crawl around in Margaret's ceiling?
Like a miniature Bruce Willis?
I don't think that's a
good sign. Do you?
Well, nothing that a three-month stint
in Hawaii can't fix.
Aloha, John.
Aloha, Sid.
Oh, yeah, right.
'Cause it means "good-bye," too.
Oh, that's rough, buddy.
I'm sorry.
But if it makes you feel any better,
I look awesome in these, don't I?
Well, Sid, maybe you'll find love again.
Or maybe you won't. What do I care?
I got my life back!
Margaret, how am I gonna fix
this John-shaped hole in my heart?
Oh, sweetie. We'll figure it out.
Right after you fix the
Sid-shaped hole in my ceiling.
How did you get up there, anyway?
Oh, it was easy. I
crawled up on the sink,
and then I just pulled
myself up in the ceiling.
Here, come on. I'll show you.