The Consultant (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Glass - full transcript

Am I to assume
that you do not want an office

- in the managerial suite?
- I may be able to help you out,

Iain, just until all of this
blows over.

- Frank Flores?
- How did you hear about me?

Regis Patoff.

You know, you're not at all
like he described you.

Enough about me.
I'm interested in you, Patricia.

Regis Patoff
commissioned you to make

a solid gold skeleton?

Thank you.

Oh, I felt sick on
the way in so I headed back.

I shoulda told you.

Descend upon me.
Purify me, Lord.

Mold me, fill me with Yourself,
use me.

Banish all the forces of evil
from me, destroy them,

defeat them, so that I can be
healthy and do good deeds.

Banish from me all spells,

witchcraft, curses,
and the evil eye.

Diabolic infestations,
oppressions, possessions.

All that is evil and sinful,

jealousy, deceitfulness, envy,

physical, psychological...

Moral, spiritual,
and diabolical ailments

burn all these...

...that they may never again
touch me.

I command and bid all the powers
who molest me,

by the power of God
all powerful...

Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from

...In the name of Jesus Christ,
our Savior,

through the intercession of
the Immaculate Virgin Mary,

to leave me forever,
and to be consigned

into the everlasting hell
where they will be bound

by our guardian angels,
and where they will be crushed

under the heel of
the Immaculate Virgin Mary.

What was that?!

Who's there?


What the...

Whoa, stay back.

There's, there's glass

Is anything missing?

Is anything fucking valuable?


Oh, shit.


Wait, what? Babe, you're gonna
be late for work.

Oh, I called Dr. Grant.
I told him I'm sick.

Well, what's wrong with you?

I'm clammy. My throat's sore.

Maybe I caught
your three-day flu.

How long have
you been out again?

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?

You know, actually, I'm feeling
a lot better today.


Maybe you could fetch me
some hot tea.

Mr. Patoff, we have the live
analytics from the focus group.

Where's Dana today?

Her son's in the hospital.

We're sticking particularly well
with males under 30.

Numbers, what do they mean?

Number of active users.

Time spent playing.
Time spent away.

They like our game?

The satisfaction report will be
published by end of day.

Tammy and Chi are still

That's them calling me now.
They probably have an update.

- Answer your phone.
- Oh.


- Craig? Oh my God, are you ok?
- Three-day flu.

I'm infectious,
so just fuck off six feet.

- Oh! Shoes.
- What?

New policy. No exceptions.

Whose idea was that?

No, actually, save yourself
the oxygen.

This is a masterpiece.

Dude. You're alive.

Yeah. Oh, it's a three-day flu.

Fuck me!
It smells like feet in here.

They've done studies. Working
barefoot boosts creativity.

Trust me, Patoff is not doing
this to increase our work.

He's doing it to assert his

He's up there in fucking
ski boots.

Why is no one working?

We are waiting to be told
what to do.

What? Come on, guys.
I've been gone three days.

Why aren't we working on
Upskirt Jungle?

It's done.

What do you mean it's done?

Patoff had us working
16-hour days to get it finished.

He signed off on it
late last night.

We wouldn't have busted a nut
but we thought you had cancer.

What else would you be
remembered for?

You... you finished Upskirt
Jungle without me?

You might wanna take
a look at it.

Oh hi, Craig. You alright?
I hear you were really sick.

What the fuck is going on
around here?

Wow. You actually did it.

You went and stole yourself
an office.

- Sit down, Craig.
- No, no.

I'm not gonna sit down.
You're the assistant.

You're not supposed to have
another chair.

Why didn't you tell me they
renamed my game?

We can't launch with the word
"Upskirt" in the title.

- What? Was it his idea?
- We did a brainstorm.

I don't remember
where the idea originated.

What about "Pain Forest?"
Or "Achy-Breaky Glass"

or a million other titles
we coulda come up with!

Craig, it's too late.

It's already out to the focus
group now.

Already!? Already!
Did you even test it?

I have been watching
the news every day.

There's nothing on a fatal
robbery in Pomona.

"I will attach tendons to you
and make flesh come upon you

"and cover you with skin.

"I will put breath in you.
You will come to life.

"And then you'll know that I am
the Lord." Ezekiel 37.

That's what
you've been doing all week?

Memorizing Bible passages?

Yeah. I downloaded
the audio version.

Now I just wake up
knowing this shit.

I thought that you weren't
coming back.

Yeah, well, turns out I'm not
safe in my own home, either.

Somebody smashed our front glass
last night.

You live in a bad neighborhood.

And how do you explain those
three guys in masks?

I don't know, maybe it's some
random stick-up guys

who chose the wrong store.

Craig, I know that this
is upsetting...

but he's not trying to kill you.

Raul, did you change the weight
tolerance on this?


Can you explain to me how
a snake and a monkey team up

to break a three-inch thick
sheet of tempered glass?

Oh, Patoff wanted to make it
more random.

- Random?
- Fun.

Where's the fun in a game
without any strategy?

Will you hurry up?

I lost a fucking shoe!

Fuck him!

What are these,
fucking clown shoes?

Look, they have metal heels
on the bottom.

Who has shoes with metal heels?

- How's Patti?
- She's pissed at me.

- She found out I went to Pomona.
- How?

She must be reading my emails.
She saw my Uber receipt.

Did you tell her what happened?

No, of course not.
I denied everything.

I told her that my Uber account
got hacked.

Why didn't you just
tell her the truth?

Because it sounds fucking crazy!
And when I proposed to her,

I made her a promise I'd like,
you know, try.

That I'd show up for work,
and I'd become a Catholic,

and I wouldn't get stoned
all the time.

And all this bullshit stuff that
she seems to like.

For Craig!

Hey, can you get that,
or are you too important now?

I want to check in on Patti.

The satisfaction report from
the focus group.

I'm sorry that it's so late.
I had a copy printed for you.

What are they saying?

From "charming and addictive" to
"boring" and "fuck this shit."

That's normal. They all hated
"Escape From Leprechaun Island"

but it continues to be
our top-earner.

Can't please all of the people
all of the time.

No. I have a couple of follow-up
calls I need to do

in the morning before you
approve it to go to marketing.

Tomorrow is Saturday.

I was planning on coming in
for a couple of hours.

Keep things moving forward.

Craig must be feeling better.

I saw him in your office

Three-day flu. A lot of people
are going down with it.

Why do you lie for him?

I'm not.

I mean, I... I don't.

Craig is having
a difficult time at home.

With Patti?

I only conversed with her

but I formed an impression that
that wedding may not happen.

What do you think, Elaine?

I think it's something that
they're gonna have to sort out

between themselves.

You're right.

Perhaps they need time apart
to analyze their feelings.

So it's okay if we cut Craig a
little bit of slack right now?

Of course!
That's what friends are for.



Yes, Mr. Patoff?

Your computer?

Kept it mild for you.

Ah, thanks, babe.


Bless us, Lord, and this food
we are about to receive

from your bounty.
Thank you for keeping us safe,

and united, and strong. Amen.


What's the deal with
exorcisms? Are they for real?

Or it's just something
they made up for TV?

The Church will sometimes
intervene in cases

of demonic possession.

Whether they're real
or imagined.

Have you ever done one?

- Me personally?
- Yeah.

I've never been called upon.

Between the two of us, Craig,

I'm a little disappointed
about that.

Do you feel like you've been
under some kind of...

No, no, no. No, not me.

It's just this guy at work.

I don't know what's going on
inside of him, and...

I'm starting to have some really
crazy thoughts in my head.

Sometimes we create an adversary

to justify our own failings.

Hmm. Wow. This Catholic thing
is pretty brutal, huh?

Why are you really here, Craig?

Well, at first,

it was so that I could
marry Patti.

Now... Right now,

I think I'm just here to
stay the fuck alive.

Who's your enemy?

He's Shao Kahn.

He's Donkey Kong.

Sometimes he's fucking Bowser.

Sorry, I know those are nerdy

He's the boss.

That's all he is.

And I shouldn't be
taking him home.

But he just lets himself in,
whenever he wants to.

What are you gonna do?

You know? He's the man.

Oh, thank fuck.

Hello, young man.

May I?

I'd like to play a game
with you.

I'm not allowed phones.

It's called "Mr. Sang's
Jungle Odyssey."

No one will be angry with you.

In your own words,

I'd like you to tell me
how the game makes you feel.

Hi, it's Elaine from CompWare.
It's Tan, right?

Tang. Like, taste.

Oh, sorry. I know that
it's Saturday morning

so I won't take up too much of
your time.

Uh, so I'm calling today because
we detected an unusual pattern

in your gameplay.

It says that you played
"Mr. Sang's Jungle Odyssey"

nine times, for seven hours
and 11 minutes.

And our data says that you
stopped at level 316.

Yeah. Seven hours and 11 minutes
I will never get back.

So, you were disappointed
with level 316.

Look, I'm running for
the golden egg,

the elephant drops, I die.
Every fucking time.

I got so angry I smashed my face
into the patio window.

One star from Tang.

I've completed every single game
I've ever played until now.

So, you stopped at level 316?

I didn't stop! It glitched!

Kyle, what happened
to your hand?

I punched the window.

Because of the game?

Because of that fucking

Fucking assholes.

Dana, why are you here?

He wanted shortbread.

Said it had to be homemade.

I already ate three
on the drive in... stop me.

How's your son? Terry?

- Timmy.
- Oh, sorry.

Uh, yeah, he's stitched up,
he's gonna be fine.

It's a miracle he didn't hit
an artery.

What happened?

He had a temper tantrum,
and we couldn't calm him down.

He shoved his hand
through the bathroom window.

I don't know if he couldn't see
the window wasn't open or what.

Timmy's not as dexterous
as Darius was.

Dana, does Timmy play games
on your phone?

It's the only thing
that keeps him from kicking us.

You're not shortbread.

I went heavy on the fat-to-flour
ratio, Mr. Patoff.

You might wanna watch your heart
if you're gonna eat 'em all.

Was there anything else
this weekend?

You're not needed any longer.

Mr. Patoff. We have a problem.

I've been following up
with the focus group,

and nobody can get past
level 316.

- It's a difficult game.
- I think that there's a glitch,

and we need more time
to test it.

They will just have to
keep on trying.

Forever, if necessary.

They're getting frustrated!

In some cases, it's driven
our users to self-harm.

That's what happened
to Dana's son.

Dana downloaded the game on her
phone, her son played the game,

he ended up in the hospital.

This is impossible.

You complete a maze,
you earn a reward, you progress.

An innocent, childish game.
Where's the harm in that?

- We need to delay the launch.
- If we do not launch now,

Mr. Sang and CompWare will
cease to exist.

I analyzed the user feedback and
they lean substantially

towards the positive.

Inform Marketing that we are
ready to launch.

"Mr. Sang's Jungle Odyssey

"is the best game
I've ever played."

Brionny from Ohio's words,
not mine.

Fuck! Fuck this fucking game!

- Are you going out?
- I need to run some errands.

What? I thought... I thought you
were feeling sick?

- Are you upset?
- I need some air.

- I need to get out.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Babe, babe.

Did I do something?

I don't know, Craig. Did you?


There's not enough natural light
in here for them to survive.

At the weekends
I always collect the plants

and put them in the art
department's window.

Harriet has the sunniest spot
of them all.

Thank you.

We can only grow
in the light, Elaine.