The Consultant (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Sick - full transcript
Frank Florez.
If you want to know
what he's made of,
find Frank Florez.
Did Patoff ever tell you
about somebody
- named Frank Florez?
- Doesn't ring a bell.
Under my guidance, Mr. Sang,
people will idolize you.
One day,
they'll kneel before you.
You should wear that on Monday.
- Monday?
- Church.
We're meeting Father Stellan.
The situation is more dire
than I anticipated.
Unless we act now,
we will not survive
another six weeks.
Am I his assistant now,
or is it still you?
You are.
I'm his creative liaison.
The game that you liked.
Red button with the CW on it.
You're all set.
Florez? I think I found him.
I installed some stalker-ware
on Patoff's phone.
Mr. Sang will guide us
through the storm.
Hello? Mr. Patoff?
It's a beautiful morning...
Craig.
I'm sorry to call you so early.
I just...
I've been up most of the night
with this bug
that's been going around.
A bug?
Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's
been coming down with it.
It's just, you know,
red eyes and chesty cough.
Anyways, I just wanted
to call you as soon as I could
and, say, uh... you know...
What?
I... I won't be at work today.
Mr. Patoff?
Where will you be instead?
I'll be at home, in bed.
But... Raul's
up to speed on everything,
and I'm contactable by phone
if anything comes up.
Mr. Patoff?
I can see that Mr. Sang
is providing us
with great humor this morning.
Laughter is good
for productivity.
Good for health,
for mental well-being.
And unfortunately,
we start the day with sad news.
Craig Horne,
one of our senior coders,
was taken ill in the night.
Craig was a loyal servant
to Mr. Sang for over two years,
and he'll be a great loss
to our family.
I'll ask you all
to bow your heads
and pray for him.
In happier news,
Ursula from marketing
has relocated to Boston,
where her father is recovering
from a heart episode.
She and her partner, Katherine,
will be nursing him
as they look to restart
their careers in a new state.
I derived from our conversation
that Ursula lies with a woman.
Her office
in the managerial suite
is vacant now.
Who would like it?
Nobody?
I'll let you all decide.
Whoever wants it most
is welcome to it.
Wait. Is he serious?
Oh! Ow! Bitch!
Bitch.
Hey. Are you okay?
I'm in Pomona.
I'm three minutes out
- from Frank Florez's store.
- I thought that
we were heading out there
together this weekend.
I know, but I couldn't wait.
I called in sick,
and I told Patti
that I was going into work,
and I hopped on a train instead.
I'm Ferris fucking Bueller
today.
What did you tell Patoff
you had?
Just the standard
cough splutter.
Be careful, Craig.
You don't know how those two
are connected.
Oh, come on. I got a whole
cover story planned out.
I was sketching wedding bands
on the train. You know me.
It's for Craig.
- We're sending macaroons.
- Okay.
I'm a very convincing liar
when I need to be.
Better than you know.
Bye.
A customer.
Yeah! Hi! Are you the owner?
Frank Florez.
Established since 1983.
I was hoping to get
some wedding bands made,
something like this,
with the head
and the tail overlapping.
Thought it'd be really cool.
Do you love this woman?
Yeah, very much.
Don't put an eel on her finger.
It's supposed to be a snake.
Ladies love gold.
Simple.
Traditional.
- How did you hear about me?
- Oh, it was a referral...
from... my friend Milani.
Russian woman?
Perhaps long ago.
Yeah. No. I... I think
you'd remember this one.
We actually all have
a mutual friend in common...
Regus Patoff.
Uh, did I... did I say
something to upset you?
Registered at the
United States Patent Office.
Excuse me?
Regus Patoff.
You asked me if I knew him,
and I'm telling you...
he... doesn't... exist.
Oh, I'm sorry. I know that I've
made a huge mistake coming here.
Regus Patoff
is no friend of mine.
If you just unlock the gates,
I won't bother you again,
I promise you.
You met him?
What?
In the flesh?
You've seen him?
Every fucking day
from 10:00 to 6:00.
Now... you wanna tell me
how you know him?
Come on back.
We have the build budget
for Upskirt Jungle.
It tentatively starts testing
next week,
and right now,
it's a tentative maybe,
unless we venture
into overtime, and...
Eric thinks he deserves it,
but Trisha will not give it up
without a fight. You'll see.
Things don't usually work
this way around here.
You didn't raise
your arm, Elaine.
I noticed.
Am I to assume
that you do not want
an office
in the managerial suite?
I would love one,
but when I get my own office,
it will be through merit.
Ah, merit is a much overrated
commodity in business.
Who climbs
to the top of the tree,
that's who succeeds.
I know she doesn't deserve it.
Is this your office?
I don't work much these days.
Yeah. It's tough out there.
This is the first piece
I ever made for him.
What is it, a tie pin?
I didn't know myself...
at first.
We used to get
a lot of doctors in here.
There's a hospital
three blocks away,
and they'd sometimes browse
during their shift breaks.
She said she wanted
something made,
a gift for a special person.
It had to be precise
to her measurements.
That was the only stipulation.
This is the first time
I ever saw his name.
Over the next three years,
I would see it 205 more times.
Hi. This is Rosie from CompWare.
I left a voicemail yesterday,
but I'm still waiting
for someone to get back to me.
Patti.
Hey, Raul. How you doing?
Shit. Are... are you here
to take his stuff away?
What?
Patti. Hi!
- Elaine.
- Yes. The drinks thing.
We had a bit of a shuffle
around here, so why don't I show
you where everything is now?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Congratulations
on your engagement!
- Oh.
- Yeah. Craig was telling me
he was thinking about designing
matching rings.
Oh, I'd love to see him try.
Where is Captain Lazy?
Um... I think he went out
with the others.
A lunch meeting.
Boring tech stuff.
Brought sushi.
Wanted to surprise him.
Oh, Passion Roll.
He likes their crunchy rice.
Mm. Well, I'll call him. Um...
Okay.
It was nice to see you, um...
- Elaine.
- Elaine.
Yeah.
Leave a message. Thanks.
Hey, babe. I'm at your office.
Where are you? Call me back.
- We have a guest.
- Oh!
Mr. Patoff, this is Patti.
- She...
- You're Patoff.
The Patoff.
You must be Craig's fiancée.
How are you coping
in this impossible time?
What can your CompWare family
do to help?
- What's that?
- Craig's sickness.
He telephoned me this morning
and sounded close to the end.
- Craig called in sick?
- I think there's been
- some miscommunication or...
- Elaine...
Sorry. I corrected
those budget items.
They are on your desk.
I'll get on that.
I appear to have upset you.
It's not you.
Leave a message. Thanks.
You're in deep shit.
Call me.
Your battery is drained.
No.
You'll only make
the situation worse.
Rosie can call you a mechanic,
and you can wait inside.
I'm fine out here.
It's 100 degrees.
Your air conditioning
will not work,
and your sushi will rot.
They kept coming in.
One a week.
Two a week.
I'd never know when the next one
was gonna walk through the door.
They had me working
day and night.
The money was so good.
The kids were in college.
I... I couldn't say no!
Betty understood...
...for most of it.
I couldn't keep up.
The pieces kept getting bigger,
more intricate.
I was buying all the gold
I could get my hands on.
Local suppliers.
Overseas markets.
And when that wasn't enough...
I turned to my beloved.
How are
the wedding preparations?
Oh, pretty much there.
Um, of course, it's down to me
to plan the whole circus.
- Circus?
- Oh.
No, no, not literally.
- Ah.
- No. Um, the church is booked.
The people are invited.
The only thing
that could derail us now
is if Craig doesn't show up
to his RCIA classes.
Mm. If he cannot show up
to work...
Oh, I... I know he... he looks
like he doesn't try
half the time,
but he's a good guy. I love him.
Well, I don't know Craig
very well,
but you know what I see in him?
Mm.
The love he holds for another.
That's so sweet.
Thank you.
You know, you are not at all
like he described you.
I can only imagine
the gossip they're spreading
about the new boss.
Well, you... you came
at a difficult time.
You know, the whole Sang thing.
It's just... horrible.
If it helps them to see me
as a monster, so be it.
Enough about me.
I'm interested in you, Patricia.
- Oh.
- What do you do?
Well, I work for a plastic
surgeon in Beverly Hills.
We mostly do body contouring...
like, sucking stuff out,
stretching,
removing the odd rib
here and there.
Sounds like it could
almost be one of our games.
Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
How about me?
What would you improve?
- My nose, perhaps?
- Mm...
You look pretty symmetrical
to me.
And you're in good shape.
Oh, it looks
like I'm ready to roll.
But, uh, thank you so much,
Mr. Patoff,
for keeping me company.
- Regus.
- Oh, right. Regus.
I don't work for you.
Yet.
Right. Well... thank you.
He replaced the battery.
Oh. How much?
Mr. Patoff took care of it.
Oh.
- Excuse...
- Oh!
Um...
Um... do you need help?
- I'll get there.
- Can I make a suggestion?
I've worked with people
with disabilities,
and I... I think
I may be able to help.
Regus Patoff commissioned you
to make a solid gold skeleton?
Not directly.
Up to 20 different doctors,
specialists in their own fields.
In today's prices...
...$25 million of gold.
After I cast the skull,
I didn't leave the house
for a year.
I couldn't stop
seeing him everywhere.
That's when it all
started to disappear...
...the passing trade,
the neighborhood...
...and eventually, Betty.
I'm sorry that he did that
to you, Frank.
Where is he now?
He's in Los Angeles.
He's a... consultant.
One day, he just moved
into our firm,
and he took over.
Describe him for me.
Patoff? He's just a regular guy.
How tall?
About up to here.
He's trim. He's angular.
He's greying.
And he's got
these "fuck you" eyes.
How much... does he weigh?
Alright. Now,
remember what I taught you.
There's a straight line
dropping down from the sky
through your core.
Yes, yes, that's it.
Good job.
Right.
Oh. Yes. Three more.
You can do it.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes. You got this.
You got it. You got it.
You got it. You're doing it.
Okay.
One more.
Thank you.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
My fiancée's checking in on me.
Swear to God,
she calls me 25 times a day.
When is the wedding?
September.
It's a whole church deal.
Somehow, I got me a good
old-fashioned Catholic girl.
Hey, babe. I'm at your office.
Where are you? Call me back.
Oh, fuck.
Whatever you do,
don't lose her to him.
I... I think I got to get back.
- Thank you.
- Mm.
Ow!
Ah!
He knows you're here.
Go. Go, go, go.
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop! Stay out of it, Elaine.
No! Stop it! Stop it! Ah!
You know how hard
Eric's worked for this.
You're not getting away
with this, Janelle!
I'm busy! Come back later!
- Iain?
- Oh, thank God it's just you.
Uh, shut the door behind you.
- Are you okay?
- They are savages.
I mean, you saw
what they just did to Trisha.
Everybody's been on edge
since he's arrived.
They're not thinking straight.
You can excuse that behavior?
- No! Of course not!
- What if they come for me next?
I don't do well
around conflict, Elaine.
I never even wanted
this damn office.
I'd be happy working on the...
on the steps.
- You would?
- You'd tell me if they were
planning something,
wouldn't you?
Well, uh...
...there has been some talk.
Oh, God. Oh God...
Who? Who are they sending?
Hasn't been decided yet.
I don't know how to fight.
I'll just hang something white
outside the door!
I'll surrender!
It's not embarrassing, is it?
I might be able
to help you out, Iain,
just until all of this
blows over.
Craig!
Hey. Hey.
What are you doing home?
Oh, I felt sick on the way in,
so I headed back.
Sorry. I should've told you.
I brought sushi in for you.
You weren't there.
Oh, babe.
You went into the office?
That's so romantic.
I ran into that Elaine girl.
Missing-tooth Elaine?
The other one. She thought
you were in a lunch meeting?
Oh.
You know. Ditzy Elaine.
You're hot.
You're ghost white.
I told you. I'm sick.
You rest up, baby.
I'll take care of you.
Thank you.
If you want to know
what he's made of,
find Frank Florez.
Did Patoff ever tell you
about somebody
- named Frank Florez?
- Doesn't ring a bell.
Under my guidance, Mr. Sang,
people will idolize you.
One day,
they'll kneel before you.
You should wear that on Monday.
- Monday?
- Church.
We're meeting Father Stellan.
The situation is more dire
than I anticipated.
Unless we act now,
we will not survive
another six weeks.
Am I his assistant now,
or is it still you?
You are.
I'm his creative liaison.
The game that you liked.
Red button with the CW on it.
You're all set.
Florez? I think I found him.
I installed some stalker-ware
on Patoff's phone.
Mr. Sang will guide us
through the storm.
Hello? Mr. Patoff?
It's a beautiful morning...
Craig.
I'm sorry to call you so early.
I just...
I've been up most of the night
with this bug
that's been going around.
A bug?
Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's
been coming down with it.
It's just, you know,
red eyes and chesty cough.
Anyways, I just wanted
to call you as soon as I could
and, say, uh... you know...
What?
I... I won't be at work today.
Mr. Patoff?
Where will you be instead?
I'll be at home, in bed.
But... Raul's
up to speed on everything,
and I'm contactable by phone
if anything comes up.
Mr. Patoff?
I can see that Mr. Sang
is providing us
with great humor this morning.
Laughter is good
for productivity.
Good for health,
for mental well-being.
And unfortunately,
we start the day with sad news.
Craig Horne,
one of our senior coders,
was taken ill in the night.
Craig was a loyal servant
to Mr. Sang for over two years,
and he'll be a great loss
to our family.
I'll ask you all
to bow your heads
and pray for him.
In happier news,
Ursula from marketing
has relocated to Boston,
where her father is recovering
from a heart episode.
She and her partner, Katherine,
will be nursing him
as they look to restart
their careers in a new state.
I derived from our conversation
that Ursula lies with a woman.
Her office
in the managerial suite
is vacant now.
Who would like it?
Nobody?
I'll let you all decide.
Whoever wants it most
is welcome to it.
Wait. Is he serious?
Oh! Ow! Bitch!
Bitch.
Hey. Are you okay?
I'm in Pomona.
I'm three minutes out
- from Frank Florez's store.
- I thought that
we were heading out there
together this weekend.
I know, but I couldn't wait.
I called in sick,
and I told Patti
that I was going into work,
and I hopped on a train instead.
I'm Ferris fucking Bueller
today.
What did you tell Patoff
you had?
Just the standard
cough splutter.
Be careful, Craig.
You don't know how those two
are connected.
Oh, come on. I got a whole
cover story planned out.
I was sketching wedding bands
on the train. You know me.
It's for Craig.
- We're sending macaroons.
- Okay.
I'm a very convincing liar
when I need to be.
Better than you know.
Bye.
A customer.
Yeah! Hi! Are you the owner?
Frank Florez.
Established since 1983.
I was hoping to get
some wedding bands made,
something like this,
with the head
and the tail overlapping.
Thought it'd be really cool.
Do you love this woman?
Yeah, very much.
Don't put an eel on her finger.
It's supposed to be a snake.
Ladies love gold.
Simple.
Traditional.
- How did you hear about me?
- Oh, it was a referral...
from... my friend Milani.
Russian woman?
Perhaps long ago.
Yeah. No. I... I think
you'd remember this one.
We actually all have
a mutual friend in common...
Regus Patoff.
Uh, did I... did I say
something to upset you?
Registered at the
United States Patent Office.
Excuse me?
Regus Patoff.
You asked me if I knew him,
and I'm telling you...
he... doesn't... exist.
Oh, I'm sorry. I know that I've
made a huge mistake coming here.
Regus Patoff
is no friend of mine.
If you just unlock the gates,
I won't bother you again,
I promise you.
You met him?
What?
In the flesh?
You've seen him?
Every fucking day
from 10:00 to 6:00.
Now... you wanna tell me
how you know him?
Come on back.
We have the build budget
for Upskirt Jungle.
It tentatively starts testing
next week,
and right now,
it's a tentative maybe,
unless we venture
into overtime, and...
Eric thinks he deserves it,
but Trisha will not give it up
without a fight. You'll see.
Things don't usually work
this way around here.
You didn't raise
your arm, Elaine.
I noticed.
Am I to assume
that you do not want
an office
in the managerial suite?
I would love one,
but when I get my own office,
it will be through merit.
Ah, merit is a much overrated
commodity in business.
Who climbs
to the top of the tree,
that's who succeeds.
I know she doesn't deserve it.
Is this your office?
I don't work much these days.
Yeah. It's tough out there.
This is the first piece
I ever made for him.
What is it, a tie pin?
I didn't know myself...
at first.
We used to get
a lot of doctors in here.
There's a hospital
three blocks away,
and they'd sometimes browse
during their shift breaks.
She said she wanted
something made,
a gift for a special person.
It had to be precise
to her measurements.
That was the only stipulation.
This is the first time
I ever saw his name.
Over the next three years,
I would see it 205 more times.
Hi. This is Rosie from CompWare.
I left a voicemail yesterday,
but I'm still waiting
for someone to get back to me.
Patti.
Hey, Raul. How you doing?
Shit. Are... are you here
to take his stuff away?
What?
Patti. Hi!
- Elaine.
- Yes. The drinks thing.
We had a bit of a shuffle
around here, so why don't I show
you where everything is now?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Congratulations
on your engagement!
- Oh.
- Yeah. Craig was telling me
he was thinking about designing
matching rings.
Oh, I'd love to see him try.
Where is Captain Lazy?
Um... I think he went out
with the others.
A lunch meeting.
Boring tech stuff.
Brought sushi.
Wanted to surprise him.
Oh, Passion Roll.
He likes their crunchy rice.
Mm. Well, I'll call him. Um...
Okay.
It was nice to see you, um...
- Elaine.
- Elaine.
Yeah.
Leave a message. Thanks.
Hey, babe. I'm at your office.
Where are you? Call me back.
- We have a guest.
- Oh!
Mr. Patoff, this is Patti.
- She...
- You're Patoff.
The Patoff.
You must be Craig's fiancée.
How are you coping
in this impossible time?
What can your CompWare family
do to help?
- What's that?
- Craig's sickness.
He telephoned me this morning
and sounded close to the end.
- Craig called in sick?
- I think there's been
- some miscommunication or...
- Elaine...
Sorry. I corrected
those budget items.
They are on your desk.
I'll get on that.
I appear to have upset you.
It's not you.
Leave a message. Thanks.
You're in deep shit.
Call me.
Your battery is drained.
No.
You'll only make
the situation worse.
Rosie can call you a mechanic,
and you can wait inside.
I'm fine out here.
It's 100 degrees.
Your air conditioning
will not work,
and your sushi will rot.
They kept coming in.
One a week.
Two a week.
I'd never know when the next one
was gonna walk through the door.
They had me working
day and night.
The money was so good.
The kids were in college.
I... I couldn't say no!
Betty understood...
...for most of it.
I couldn't keep up.
The pieces kept getting bigger,
more intricate.
I was buying all the gold
I could get my hands on.
Local suppliers.
Overseas markets.
And when that wasn't enough...
I turned to my beloved.
How are
the wedding preparations?
Oh, pretty much there.
Um, of course, it's down to me
to plan the whole circus.
- Circus?
- Oh.
No, no, not literally.
- Ah.
- No. Um, the church is booked.
The people are invited.
The only thing
that could derail us now
is if Craig doesn't show up
to his RCIA classes.
Mm. If he cannot show up
to work...
Oh, I... I know he... he looks
like he doesn't try
half the time,
but he's a good guy. I love him.
Well, I don't know Craig
very well,
but you know what I see in him?
Mm.
The love he holds for another.
That's so sweet.
Thank you.
You know, you are not at all
like he described you.
I can only imagine
the gossip they're spreading
about the new boss.
Well, you... you came
at a difficult time.
You know, the whole Sang thing.
It's just... horrible.
If it helps them to see me
as a monster, so be it.
Enough about me.
I'm interested in you, Patricia.
- Oh.
- What do you do?
Well, I work for a plastic
surgeon in Beverly Hills.
We mostly do body contouring...
like, sucking stuff out,
stretching,
removing the odd rib
here and there.
Sounds like it could
almost be one of our games.
Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
How about me?
What would you improve?
- My nose, perhaps?
- Mm...
You look pretty symmetrical
to me.
And you're in good shape.
Oh, it looks
like I'm ready to roll.
But, uh, thank you so much,
Mr. Patoff,
for keeping me company.
- Regus.
- Oh, right. Regus.
I don't work for you.
Yet.
Right. Well... thank you.
He replaced the battery.
Oh. How much?
Mr. Patoff took care of it.
Oh.
- Excuse...
- Oh!
Um...
Um... do you need help?
- I'll get there.
- Can I make a suggestion?
I've worked with people
with disabilities,
and I... I think
I may be able to help.
Regus Patoff commissioned you
to make a solid gold skeleton?
Not directly.
Up to 20 different doctors,
specialists in their own fields.
In today's prices...
...$25 million of gold.
After I cast the skull,
I didn't leave the house
for a year.
I couldn't stop
seeing him everywhere.
That's when it all
started to disappear...
...the passing trade,
the neighborhood...
...and eventually, Betty.
I'm sorry that he did that
to you, Frank.
Where is he now?
He's in Los Angeles.
He's a... consultant.
One day, he just moved
into our firm,
and he took over.
Describe him for me.
Patoff? He's just a regular guy.
How tall?
About up to here.
He's trim. He's angular.
He's greying.
And he's got
these "fuck you" eyes.
How much... does he weigh?
Alright. Now,
remember what I taught you.
There's a straight line
dropping down from the sky
through your core.
Yes, yes, that's it.
Good job.
Right.
Oh. Yes. Three more.
You can do it.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes. You got this.
You got it. You got it.
You got it. You're doing it.
Okay.
One more.
Thank you.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
My fiancée's checking in on me.
Swear to God,
she calls me 25 times a day.
When is the wedding?
September.
It's a whole church deal.
Somehow, I got me a good
old-fashioned Catholic girl.
Hey, babe. I'm at your office.
Where are you? Call me back.
Oh, fuck.
Whatever you do,
don't lose her to him.
I... I think I got to get back.
- Thank you.
- Mm.
Ow!
Ah!
He knows you're here.
Go. Go, go, go.
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop! Stay out of it, Elaine.
No! Stop it! Stop it! Ah!
You know how hard
Eric's worked for this.
You're not getting away
with this, Janelle!
I'm busy! Come back later!
- Iain?
- Oh, thank God it's just you.
Uh, shut the door behind you.
- Are you okay?
- They are savages.
I mean, you saw
what they just did to Trisha.
Everybody's been on edge
since he's arrived.
They're not thinking straight.
You can excuse that behavior?
- No! Of course not!
- What if they come for me next?
I don't do well
around conflict, Elaine.
I never even wanted
this damn office.
I'd be happy working on the...
on the steps.
- You would?
- You'd tell me if they were
planning something,
wouldn't you?
Well, uh...
...there has been some talk.
Oh, God. Oh God...
Who? Who are they sending?
Hasn't been decided yet.
I don't know how to fight.
I'll just hang something white
outside the door!
I'll surrender!
It's not embarrassing, is it?
I might be able
to help you out, Iain,
just until all of this
blows over.
Craig!
Hey. Hey.
What are you doing home?
Oh, I felt sick on the way in,
so I headed back.
Sorry. I should've told you.
I brought sushi in for you.
You weren't there.
Oh, babe.
You went into the office?
That's so romantic.
I ran into that Elaine girl.
Missing-tooth Elaine?
The other one. She thought
you were in a lunch meeting?
Oh.
You know. Ditzy Elaine.
You're hot.
You're ghost white.
I told you. I'm sick.
You rest up, baby.
I'll take care of you.
Thank you.