The Closer (2005–2012): Season 5, Episode 14 - Make Over - full transcript

You sure I don't look ridiculous?

You look great.

Besides, you can't be picky if you're gonna
make me do all the shopping.

And Big Bear definitely has cellular service?
You checked?

It's not the tundra, it's two hours away.

With our ski packages,
we're gonna be so busy...

...we might actually forget about work
for a while.

DDA Hobbs, you remember...

...Chief Johnson.
And this is her husband...

...FBI Special Agent Fritz Howard.

Sorry to interrupt.



I just wanted to make sure
you're all set for Monday.

On the Oxy Lab case.

Oxy Lab.

Yes, of course.

All set.

Uh, what time on Monday?

The trial starts at 9 a.m.

Trial.

Right.

So I'll see you in court.

Yes, you will.
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

You have no idea
of what she was talking about, do you?

No.

Oxy Lab used to handle
some toxicology tests for the city.



Unfortunately,
the lab was discredited nine months ago.

Okay, I read about that.

And 42 verdicts were overturned,
most of them DUI's.

But one of them was a murder...

...which, for the last several weeks,
has belonged to Major Crimes.

You're kidding me. What murder?

Okay, seven years ago, a woman named
Doris Osgood impersonated a nurse...

...for some rich banker with terminal cancer.
Now, she robbed the guy blind...

...then she killed him
with an overdose of morphine.

Tox results from the guy's blood
were thrown out as evidence...

...when Oxy Lab was discredited.

And this goes to trial on Monday?

When were you planning
on telling me about this?

Chief, I handed the murder
over to Major Crimes a month ago.

To whom?

Chief, I didn't wanna burden you.

It's an old case I worked
with my ex-partner, George Andrews.

Great cop, retired way too young.

Anyway, I'm picking him up
at the train station.

All ready for the trial on Monday,
lieutenant?

A hundred percent.

See, George got this spontaneous
confession from this fake nurse.

I mean, she told him everything.

Including how she overdosed the guy
she was caring for with morphine.

All we have to do
is put George on the stand.

And Doris Osgood will be back in prison
for the rest of her life.

- And we can go to Big Bear.
- Yes, please. Go.

I mean, chief, really.
When have I ever steered you wrong, hm?

I think I should wait
and meet this Detective Andrews.

Just to go over his testimony.

Honey, you and I will go to lunch
and then we'll come back...

...and then we'll drive up to the cabin,
okay?

The guy's death certificate
said natural causes.

And it was only because Osgood
tried to fence that stupid painting...

...that we...
- The Chagall. I know, I remember.

If it hadn't been for that bone-headed move,
George and I might never have...

Found her. I know.

That confession...

...one of the greatest moments
in L.A.P.D. history.

George seduced that Osgood woman
into giving up everything.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

George Andrews was the best partner
a cop could ask for.

Hands down.

Really?

- Thanks.
- Hey.

Hey,
why don't you come out with us tonight?

We'll have some drinks,
maybe find some ladies.

- That's all right, Casanova. Calm down.
- All right.

You don't wanna go, that's fine.

Ahem, myself, I...

I've been feeling a little lonely lately.

But there is no shortage of women
when George is around.

Guess who, old man.

George, my man, it is...

It's Georgette now.

Do you believe the balls on this guy,
Flynn?

Uh, I don't think...

Oh, it's a joke.

Go ahead...

...tell him it's a joke, George.

It's not a joke.

George.

This, uh...

It's the real me. Finally.

We have a huge problem here.

Yeah, about a size 44D.

Lieutenant Provenza,
how did this happen?

Well, I assume a scalpel was involved.

Chief, in here.

Oh, did everything go okay with
Detective Andrews at the train station?

Well, actually, uh...

...as it turns out, chief...

...he isn't exactly available.

- Well, at least not all of him.
- Shut up, Flynn.

I know that I told you
I would handle everything...

- Is that Detective Andrews?
- It is.

- For heaven's sakes.
- Heaven had nothing to do with this.

Wait a minute.
Is it just the dress or did he...

...you know, go all the way?

Oh, yeah. He's a real lady.

I can't put Detective Andrews
on the stand like that.

Why not?
We need her testimony, not her testicles.

All Osgood's lawyers need to say is if
Andrews was confused about his gender...

...maybe he was also confused
about what Osgood told him.

Hobbs is right. It goes to credibility.

But Detective Andrews
is the only person who can testify...

...to Osgood's spontaneous
and unrecorded confession. Without that...

If we were trying this in Santa Monica,
I'd say roll the dice, but we're not.

We're in the North Valley on this one.

The jury will never see past
Detective Andrews' makeup.

Osgood's son has hired some of the best
defense attorneys around.

You're just gonna let a murderer go free?

I believe the thought was
that we should try to get George...

...to take the stand as a man.

Right. And since this is your case...

You want me to talk Detective Andrews
out of his dress?

I've never even met him... Her.

That's why Lieutenant Provenza
will accompany you.

Buzz, we got any duct tape in here?

Yeah, the second drawer of that cabinet.

The sooner you convince Andrews,
the sooner we head for the hills.

All right, everyone, get busy.

This is not a zoo. I mean it.

Eh, eh. Sanchez, not a word.

Detective Andrews.

I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson.
It is such a pleasure to meet you.

Oh, the pleasure is mine.
I love your parka.

Oh, thank you. It's for skiing.

Anyway, welcome back.

That's nice of you to say.

And I guess I should apologize
for showing up, uh...

...unannounced.

But when this case was overturned...

...I felt it was my duty
to put aside my personal worries.

No apology necessary.

- Why don't you have a seat.
- Oh, thank you.

Because as you know,
we no longer possess the clinical sample...

...of the morphine used in the murder.

And since you did excellent work
in obtaining that spontaneous confession...

...we also never got any other evidence.

So, um...

There are some concerns
on the part of the DA...

Oh, for God's sake. Here's the deal.

You can't take the stand
looking like that, George.

So strap them down, lose the dress...

...cut the hair. Man up.

Sorry, I'm afraid I can't do that.

You'd rather walk around
waving those fun bags in the air?

- Enough.
- What are you saying?

Let me explain. Please. Thank you.

Detective Andrews...

...DDA Hobbs feels that she cannot
put you on the stand as a woman.

Well, I'm very sorry to hear you say that.

Because I absolutely refuse to participate
in this trial dressed up like a man.

Not only would I be committing perjury,
I'd be lying to myself.

And I've gone to a great deal of trouble
not to do that anymore.

Oh, Lord, have mercy.

- So now what?
- The press finds out...

We wait. She's a woman now.
Maybe she'll change her mind.

So enjoy the protests.

Excuse me.

You know, Andrews,
when those doctors cut your balls off...

...you should had them pull the stick
out of your ass at the same time.

You...

...of all people.

What's happening?

What's he doing?

What do you think?
She's crying. You hurt her feelings.

- Feelings?
- Yes, my feelings.

You... You insensitive bastard.

I came here despite enormous fears
because I wanted to do the right thing.

And you've done nothing but insult me
since I stepped off that train.

Well, I'm not going to let you bully me...

...into raising my hand
and swearing that I'm a man.

I won't do it.

- I can't. I can't.
- Aw.

- Of course you can't.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, I...

Great. So now we have no case.

Yeah. And no travel insurance.

- It's okay.
- I'm sorry.

It's okay, sweetheart.

So is Hobbs gonna dismiss the case?

Um, not quite yet.

Provided Lieutenant Provenza treats her
better, Andrews has agreed to stay.

Maybe she can help us find something
other than the spontaneous confession...

...to connect Doris Osgood to the murder.

So you're not going then?

I can't. I'm sorry.

Why don't we reschedule?

No, no, no. It's okay.

I know how much you were looking forward
to us learning how to ski.

Oh, I'm still going.

We already bought the package.

The hotel room,
the lessons, the massages.

It's all been paid for.

Wait, you can't go without me.

Oh, I'll just drop Joel at home
and I'll e-mail you some pictures.

Have a nice murder.

We bought massages?

In the seven weeks
Doris Osgood spent impersonating a nurse...

...in order to care for Charles Billings...

...she forged his signature
on 23 checks...

...and took out seven credit cards
in his name.

In all,
she managed to steal almost $55,000.

Uh, uh... Billings had five grown kids...

...but none of them noticed the theft
because they were ripping him off too.

The old man finally got suspicious.
That's why she killed him.

A few days later,
she tried selling his Chagall...

...but the dealer she took it to
called the police.

We got an autopsy.

Oxy Lab found the excessive dose
of morphine in Billings' system.

- Questions anyone?
- Yes.

Detective Andrews, sir...

Ma'am.

What happened to your penis?

- Sanchez, that is not an appropriate question.
- No, no, it's fine, Chief Johnson.

In fact, I'd like to answer
if it's okay with you.

Interestingly enough, detective...

...I still have a lot of the same equipment
I had prior to the surgery.

It's just been inverted.

And refashioned to look pretty much
like any other woman's sex organs.

In fact, the advances they've made
in vaginoplasty are truly amazing.

Okay, that's very informative.

- Thank you so much.
- One second, chief.

So do you like men or women now?

As a matter of fact, I still like women.

What?

What, you...?

You had a sex change
to become a lesbian?

The change I underwent had nothing to do
with my sexual preference.

It was more about
how I identified with the world...

...personally.

And you weren't bothered
that I was a lesbian when I was a guy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Blah, blah, blah "lesbian."

Do you currently have a girlfriend?

Detective Sanchez. Enough.

Detective Andrews...

...Doris Osgood never really was
a registered nurse, is that correct?

Yes, it turns out Osgood stole the identity
of an RN named Jane Wesh...

...and she used her credentials
to land a position at the doctor's office...

...where Charles Billings was a patient.

And when Billings needed home care,
Osgood volunteered.

Wow, she really thought this thing out.

And she was good at it too.

Playing nurse, I mean.

In fact, so good I thought
she may have pulled a scam before...

...but her confession got her life
without parole so we never pursued it.

If we had any priors,
we wouldn't need Osgood's confession.

We have Osgood's confession.

It's because Empty Pants here
won't bite the bullet...

...and put on the clothes
he was born to wear...

...doesn't mean that we can't have
somebody read his testimony in court.

I believe we can only do that
if he isn't available.

He isn't available.

- This is not what we agreed to.
- Lieutenant, that is enough.

Andrews is here on behalf of the L.A.P.D.
and is entitled to a supportive workplace.

I was looking forward to
staying at your house while I was here.

All right, all right. My house, fine. Just...

Just don't cry again.

Please. God, please.

How old is this picture of Doris Osgood?

A few weeks. Lompoc took it
before she was sent back to county.

Is there anything older in her file?

Just an old DMV photo...

...and an old booking photo from 2002.

If Billings wasn't her first victim...

...maybe there are others out there
she murdered the same way.

Get ahold of Ramos and have him
publish these pictures in the paper...

...maybe someone remembers Doris
as a very bad nurse.

Chief, might I suggest that you publish
some additional photos of Osgood?

You never know
how much someone's appearance...

...might have changed over time.

DDA Hobbs mentioned
that Doris Osgood's son...

...was very involved in her defense.
Why don't we invite him to stop by.

Maybe he can help us
find some old pictures of his mom.

Uh, chief, we're the enemy.
Why would Osgood's son want to help us?

Mr. Osgood, we believe that some
mistakes may have been made...

...in the investigation of your mother's case,
even beyond this whole Oxy Lab mess.

Like sending an innocent woman to prison
for the rest of her life?

If that's what happened, sir...

...the last thing the justice system would
want is to put your mother back in jail.

Why should I believe that?

Well, I've been studying
your mother's case.

- And while it's clear to me...
- Have a seat.

- Thank you.
- Your mother forged checks...

...opened credit cards
in Mr. Billings' name...

...tried to fence a Chagall
from his art collection...

...stole the identity of an RN
and impersonated a nurse...

...it doesn't necessarily follow
she murdered the man.

He could as easily
up and died of natural causes.

Okay, now see?

That's what I've been saying to anyone
who would listen for the last seven years.

My mother did nothing but try her very best
to take care of Mr. Billings.

Until she killed him.

Believe me, if she had her choice, Mom
would have been off to nursing school.

So she always wanted to
work in health care?

Oh, yeah. But she gave up on that
to put me through college.

My mom wanted to save lives,
not end them.

That's why I can't stop
till I prove she's innocent.

Why I've hired new lawyers, filed appeals.
It's taken nearly every penny I have.

It's been money well spent, sir,
because she's almost free.

- If it weren't for that confession...
- She didn't confess.

That cop...

...he propositioned my mom,
to put it nicely.

And when she turned him down,
he got so angry, he lied...

...and said she admitted
to murdering Billings.

So was Osgood your type?

Not so much. I've always been
more into blond, bossy gals.

I apologize for that, sir.

The officer who arrested your mom
doesn't work here anymore.

So let's see
if we can set the record straight.

What can I do to help you here?

If we could track back through
your mother's employment history...

...and find that there's no other evidence
of theft or fraud...

...we probably could convince
the district attorney to drop all charges.

Seriously? This could happen?

If we could talk to some people
she worked for prior to Billings.

- If you remember their names.
- I know them all.

- You want her last job to her first?
- That would be wonderful.

She worked at City Mutual Bank
for a while.

And not only did she not steal anything,
Mom was employee of the month...

- ...three times.
- Good for her.

And before that?

She was an assistant manager
at Mondro Tech in the Valley.

She did data entry
for a Beverly Hills law firm, Sustin & Raber.

And she worked
as an assistant administrator...

...at Tech U. for two years.

And before that, she drove
for Goody's Limo Company in the Valley.

And she sold used cars
for Murphy's Pre-Owned Sedans.

That's the thing, you know?

Mom was always searching.

Going from job to job,
taking care of me...

...without ever having time
to really find herself.

- This isn't a story, just a bunch of pictures.
- What do you mean? It's a great story.

Or it will be when your newspaper helps us
identify Doris Osgood's other victims.

If there are other victims.

Mr. Ramos, in the interest of public safety,
your newspaper is...

From the little I understand, Osgood's danger
to the public is speculative at this point.

And if it turns out she isn't guilty,
we could be accused of libel, right?

So if you want the pictures published,
buy an ad.

There's no money for that.

Okay, then you can be really radical...

...and let Miss Andrews
testify as a woman.

Yeah, good, fine. Okay, it's an ad.

Great. I highly recommend the double-page
at the centerfold to grab people's attention.

- Full color, of course.
- Of course. Thanks, Ricardo.

Listen,
I might be able to get you a discount...

...if you let me know who Miss Andrews is.
- Bye-bye.

Yeah.

Brrr.

- Morning, Louie.
- Oh...

Look at that.

I'm surprised Pope sprang for it.

Well, Chief Johnson
gets what she wants.

With a caboose like that,
of course she does.

You think the ad is gonna work?

Who knows?

Of course,
wouldn't have to worry about it...

...if you'd stop screwing around
and do what's right.

Oh, come on. We had an agreement.
You were...

Did you think you could just
sashay off the train...

...and everything would be like old times?

- We're old friends, Louie.
- No.

No, I was friends with a guy named George,
who doesn't exist anymore.

Maybe he never did exist.

Maybe one of the greatest confessions
in the history of the L.A.P.D. never existed.

Nobody else ever heard
Doris Osgood say...

All right, that's really low.

You know I was much too good a cop
to file a false confession.

And yes, I look different.

I'm not a man anymore.
Which means I don't pee standing up.

I wear a dress instead of a suit.
I walk differently.

I've changed how I do a lot of things,
but not what's in my heart.

I've always been your friend, Louie.

You can't turn your back on all the years.

Look at you. You're not even listening.

The second people start talking about
their feelings, you...

No, no, no. Wait.

Wait, we were thinking Doris Osgood
only changed her appearance.

- Right.
- Maybe it was more than that.

Maybe we caught her doing to Billings
what she had done to other people...

...because she not only changed
what she looked like...

...she changed her entire M.O.

Oh. Yes.

We've had four callers
responding to our ad so far.

And each one remembers Doris Osgood...

...providing care to a rich,
old family member as a nurse.

And in each case, the patient
supposedly died of natural causes.

Somehow, she did something
differently with Billings.

That's why we caught her.

Each of them knew Osgood
by a different name.

Names we were able to confirm...

...were actual RN's
working here in Los Angeles County.

So she stole their identities too?
That's exactly the same M.O.

No, it's not. Osgood got the job with
Billings by working at his doctor's office.

Each of the callers said
she was referred to them...

...by an agency that no longer exists,
an RN Home Aid.

See? See? That's what we're saying.

Well, as fascinating as that may be,
lieutenant...

...how would knowing
she changed her M.O...

...get us any closer
to tying her to a murder?

We don't know that yet.

But it's the key. I'm sure.

I got a woman on the phone...

...that says she thinks Osgood
murdered her father in 2001.

Miss Casey, thank you so much
for coming in to visit with us.

I'm Deputy Chief Johnson.

Oh, it's nothing, dear.

Now that I get all my programs recorded,
I don't have to miss anything.

Oh, that's good.

And now,
I'm told that you're here today...

...in response to photographs
that we put in the paper?

Yes, that's right.

I knew that woman was a menace.

And by "that woman"
you mean Mrs. Doris Osgood?

The woman you knew
as Nurse Linda Parker?

Yes, right again.

I remember she had all her paperwork...

...social security number,
a nurse's license...

...and even a referral from the agency.

And that would be RN Home Aid?

You're three for three.

And what led you to use their services?

Oh, I think there was an issue
with one of the other nurses we had hired.

And Daddy's insurance company
recommended that we replace her.

And they gave you
the name of the agency?

That I can't recall.

You said a moment ago
that Doris Osgood was a menace.

Can you tell me
what you mean by that?

A Monet disappeared
from my daddy's art collection...

...the day after
he fell down the stairs and died.

And I suspected
that woman had taken it.

- So, what did you do?
- I contacted the insurance company.

And one of their security people
got the painting back...

...and he put the blame
on one of our gardeners...

...who fled to Mexico to avoid arrest.
- Where are you going?

Gonna talk to the guy
who brought that painting back.

I can't imagine how he got there.
He didn't even have a car.

You wanna come with me?

- Let's go.
- He must have fled on foot.

Some of them do that, you know.

But I never believed...

...that gardener knew
the value of the Monet.

Even though they were water lilies.

You said your father fell down the stairs.
Was there an investigation into his death?

There should have been, don't you think?

My daddy was confined
to a wheelchair for months.

He was so terrified of the steps.

Why he rode himself
to the edge of the stairway, ha...

...I'll never know.

Detective Gabriel,
I want exhumation orders...

...on all the patients we can trace
back to Doris.

- Are we clearing this with Chief Pope?
- I will, just as soon as I'm done.

Mm, nice shoes.

Oh, thank you.

You're familiar with Mr. Casey.

He had several broken bones,
indicative of a bad fall.

Can't say whether he was pushed down
the stairs or slipped on his own.

Next, patient two and three.

Death certificates say
they died of natural causes...

...but frankly,
when you dig up bodies this old...

...you'd be better off
taking them to an archeologist.

Could you do a tox screen
on their bones, just in case?

Could you give me a hand?

Thank you. Moving on.

Patient four.

Death certificate says natural causes,
but...

Detective, could you...

Look there.

Her neck is broken.

Not proof of homicide, but it's hard
to believe she did it on her own.

Wasn't the? Ugh.

- Wasn't the body autopsied?
- No.

None of them were
because they're all old and sick.

And each of the physicians
signed off on cause of death.

- And the last body, doctor?
- Yes.

This poor lady was in a coma
for two weeks prior to her death.

Certificate says natural causes,
but I have my doubts because...

Ew. What is that?

It's the cap to a nasal-spray bottle,
detective.

I'm guessing someone shoved this down this
woman's throat and she choked to death.

I don't see anything natural about that.

- Here you go, chief.
- Oh, thank you.

You exhumed five bodies?

I'm sorry,
but it is crunch time for Doris Osgood...

...and for your information,
three of those bodies...

...appear to have died
under suspicious circumstances.

- You can connect Osgood to those cases?
- Well, we're trying to. Lieutenant Provenza?

Well,
let's start way back at the beginning.

Insurance companies
like to do background checks...

...on anybody who has access
to the valuables of their richest clients.

- Housekeepers, gardeners.
- Or nurses.

Exactly. Now, in each of the cases
of potential murder here...

...all of the families
had different insurance companies.

But each company contracted background
checks to the same security analyst.

And that security analyst's name
is Sam Osgood.

Doris Osgood's son.

We found him because he's the same guy
who returned Miss Casey's stolen Monet.

You think Sam
is his mother's accomplice?

He's the reason the people for whom
she worked never reported anything.

Sam Osgood covered it up.

Except with Billings,
where his mom was flying solo.

And that's the change in Doris' M.O.

She stopped working with her son.

None of which proves murder.

- Chief, I got Doris Osgood in Interview 1.
- Oh, thank you so much.

Whoa. What is she doing here?

We're hoping with a little encouragement,
Mrs. Osgood might confess again.

What kind of encour...?

Wow.

Morning, fellas. Chief Johnson.

Now there's the George that I remember.

And there's the Louie I miss.

Detective Gabriel, if you wouldn't mind.

Let's get ready to bring Mr. Osgood
into the Electronics Room, please.

What exactly makes this different
from taking the stand, detective?

I'm not perjuring myself
in the Interview Room, chief.

It's just a little undercover work.

And what makes you think
that George can get your confession?

Let's call it women's intuition.

Yeah.

Doris, nice to see you again.

Don't even think about it.

You remember Lieutenant Provenza?

Listen...

...what happened seven years ago,
how I led you on, I really do apologize.

I know you're much too smart
to fall for that kind of thing again.

Oh, those eyes.

Just as beautiful as I remember.

And you're still full of crap.

My son said
you didn't work here anymore.

And yet here I am.

How have you been?

Lonely.

Like you care.

These past seven years.
You have no idea.

I do.
You've been imprisoned for a long time.

And people look at you
like you're someone you're not.

You have no opportunity
just to be yourself.

- Doris, I can relate.
- Can we move this along, please?

You can't question me about the
Billings case without my lawyers present.

We wanna talk to you
about an entirely different matter.

- Like what?
- Oh, come on, Doris.

We know that Billings
wasn't your first target.

- I mean...
- Lieutenant.

You'd been running
this nurse scam for years.

Mr. Osgood,
thank you so much for coming in.

We thought you might like to see this.

We've got you nailed
on at least five other incidents.

This is not constructive.

My mother?

Where's her lawyer?

- We know about the art thefts. We do!
- We talked about this.

Have a seat.
We're about to drop the Billings case.

We told your mother
before we read her her rights.

- We know about the identity theft.
- Please.

- I don't know what you're trying to pull here.
- Just a second. Doris, I'm sorry.

Why don't you give us a minute?

He can be a real jerk. I apologize.

That's him.
That's the cop she confessed to last time.

- You said he didn't work here anymore.
- He doesn't.

Doris, you should know
that I actually think...

...that the other five thefts
we've discovered...

...are good news for you
and your lawyers.

Good news? How?

This guy is unbelievable.

She's not gonna fall
for the same lies again.

When you told me...

...that you killed
Charles Billings seven years ago...

...you sold your story like a pro.

But just between you and me...

...I think you were only trying
to protect your son.

- What?
- I know you love Sam.

You think he's been in your corner
for this retrial...

...but when he offered up
the information...

...about all those people that you robbed
while impersonating a nurse?

What? I never...

- Sam wouldn't make up things like that.
- That's a lie. He's lying.

- Your son's trying to bury you.
- Is he?

Make us put you away for good...

...so he can keep all the money.

He got you those jobs,
he picked the art work for you to steal.

Sam fenced it. Isn't that right?

You're a loving, trusting mother,
exploited by a psychotic child...

...who's selling you out for his own gain.

No. No. That can't be true.

Doris, how would I know about all this
if Sam hadn't told me?

I'm truly sorry...

...that I helped put you in prison.
So please, help me set you free.

After all I gave up for him.

When he came up with this plan...

...I knew it was wrong.

- What?
- When he was working...

...for the insurance company?
- Oh, my God.

They'd hire him to do background checks.

I was so proud of him at first.

Background checks? On whom exactly?

Employees of their wealthy clients.

As a security analyst...

...he'd have access to people's homes.

And when he found a rich person...

...who had home care and...

I mean, who else could afford it?

- He'd pretend
that someone on the nursing staff...

...was a security risk and get them fired...

...and then he would refer the family
to this agency that he'd set up.

Which was a sham, correct?

I was the only one there.

And with his position...

...he was able to steal me new identities.

Oh, I didn't wanna do it.

I swear.

But when it started...

...he told me at first that I was just...

...finally gonna get to be a nurse.

My own mother. I can't believe it.

Good. That's so good.

- Just write down what we talked about.
- Okay.

- And we're gonna put an end to this.
- Okay.

You have nothing to hold me on.

Because your mother
thought up the whole thing?

She convinced you to get her jobs
in rich people's homes. Once she was in...

...she stole what she wanted
and demanded that you fence it for her.

- You.
- Hey.

Hey. Whoa, whoa.

You might want to rethink this, sonny.

You know what?

It doesn't make any difference
what any of you believe...

...because we're more than seven years out
on all these crimes.

As a professional security analyst...

...I'm happy to inform you
that the statute of limitations...

...ran out on these so-called thefts
a long time ago.

On the thefts, yes.
But not on the murders.

Murders? What murders?

Hey, Billings?
That's still just his word against hers.

- I wasn't working with...
- She's not talking about Billings.

She's talking about the other people
that died under your mother's care.

They were old. It's called natural causes.

I have evidence to the contrary,
Mr. Osgood.

From what your mother just told us,
it shouldn't be hard to convince a jury...

...that you were responsible
for several other murders also.

Unless...

Unless your mother was the one
who killed those people.

Come on.

What do you want from me?

I can't. She's my mom.

Who just rolled on you.
What are you protecting her for?

It's either you or her.

All right. Detective, would you take
Mr. Osgood downstairs and book him...?

No, wait. Okay.

Okay.

She killed her patients...

...all right?

She killed her patients.

And when she got away with it
the first time...

...it just got easier for her.

Who? Who did she kill?

The ones who got suspicious.
I don't remember their names.

- One she strangled.
- Breaking her neck in the process.

She stuffed something
down the second one's throat.

That would be a nasal-spray cap.

- Pushed the third one down the stairs.
- That would be Ms. Casey's father.

And after his daughter
called me all suspicious...

About the Monet that your mother stole.

Which I had to pull back from my fence
and return.

- I realized that she'd gone too far.

I wanted out. I...

I told her to stop.

But she couldn't.
So she went on without me.

And just like I thought...

...she got caught
after murdering that poor Mr. Billings.

Oh, my God.

Very good, Mr. Osgood.
I know how difficult that must have been.

Would you please take Mr. Osgood
downstairs and book him...

What? Book me?
You can't hold me on those thefts.

- But they'll come up at your murder trial.
- That was my mother.

And you were her partner
and aware of her actions.

But I didn't kill them myself.

Well, Mr. Osgood,
as one professional to another...

...I'm happy to inform you
that the law doesn't see it that way.

Detective.

Now, gentlemen, would you please do the
honors and arrest our Florence Nightingale?

Hm.

Ladies first.

Fritzi, hi.

I wish you'd pick up.

I'm grabbing my things and driving up
to Big Bear for the last night.

Fritzi?

Fritzi?

In the bathroom.

What are you doing?

Well, on the chair lift
going up the bunny slope this afternoon...

...I just realized...

...I missed you.

Oh.

The truth is, I don't like traveling anymore
without my wife.

That is the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.

Also, on the first run...

...this 12-year-old kid cut me off
and I hurt my knee.

- Aw.
- Now get in here.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Get in here.

Here's to unmasking the bad guys.

Hear, hear.

Whoo. Whoo-hoo-hoo.

Listen...

...I wanna apologize...

...for being unable to completely...

...come to grips with this thing.
- Louie, I know it's not easy.

It wasn't for me, either.

Hey, I mean, you know...

...if you were 20 years younger,
and I had never met you...

...and if you weren't a lesbian...

You'd be perfect for each other.

Well, I'm not sure
I even have it in me anymore.

Oh, you still have it in you.

- Wow, I mean...
- Huh?

- I mean, wow.
- Oh, I know.

- They're nice, huh?
- Yeah.

Yeah. Flynn, you ought to check these out.

Yeah. No, thanks. I'm good.

I should probably get onboard.

Andy...

...let's not go so long next time.

Louie...

...thanks for everything.

It was a brave thing you did,
coming back...

...Georgette.

It was good for me too.

So you ready to go, Louie?

Call me that just once more...

...and Georgette won't be
my only ex-partner without a penis.