The Closer (2005–2012): Season 4, Episode 5 - Dial M for Provenza - full transcript

Angie, how else can I
say it? I don't want lunch.

- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.

Come on. Did anyone ever
tell you you're a big old grouch?

You're the first.

At least you're a
big old sexy grouch.

Come on. Please? They
have pancakes here.

Angie!

I just killed your husband an
hour ago. I don't want pancakes.

So what?

Come on. You're gonna go on
the run on an empty stomach?

Look, I own half a
car dealership now.



I'm rich. I'll buy.

Buzz, are we getting all this?

Well, if you're asking if I can do anything
about this truck noise in the background,

- I'm not a magician.
- It's not going in a festival.

I was just asking if we
were recording or not.

Really?

I can't decide what's
more nauseating.

Her trying to kill her husband or
watching her come on to Provenza.

Well...

Chief. We have
guns. We can stop this.

And then we just wait
for proof that he's dead.

Proof? Proof?

Here's his wallet. The
proof we agreed on.

Now, here. You take the wallet.



Now, you give me the $20,000.

No. No, I'll give you the
money when the cops call me

and say that they
found the body.

- Lieutenant Flynn.
- Already on it, Chief.

Hello? FLYNN: Yes. Hello.

Is this Ms. Anush Serabian?

It's Angie Serabian. Yeah.

Yes, this is Lieutenant
Flynn of the LAPD.

Oh.

- It's a cop.
- Don't say where you are.

- Hi.
- Hi. Are you sitting down, ma'am?

No, no. Actually, I'm standing,
in a parking lot in Bakersfield.

Listen, I'm sorry to have to tell
you this, but your husband was shot

in an apparent
robbery, and he's dead.

Oh, no!

Oh, my God! I don't believe it!

Okay. Okay.

- Now, give me the money.
- All right. Don't be so pushy.

Now, that's what I'm
talking about, Angie.

Money is exchanged.

- And so ends another Provenza date.
- Hmm.

George, you're really
gonna call me, right?

Angie, baby. I promise.

Mmm.

You have not
seen the last of me.

Mmm.

Oh, George, cut it out.

Angie Serabian, you're under arrest for
the attempted murder of Alex Serabian.

- Hands on the car.
- What are you talking about?

You have the right
to remain silent.

If you refuse to remain
silent, anything you say

can and will be used
against you in a court of law.

Get your hands off me! Stop it!

Ms. Serabian, I'm Deputy Chief
Brenda Leigh Johnson of the LAPD.

Let me tell you something. I'm not
here to kill anyone. I'm here on a date.

You tell them, George!

Thank you. Thank you.

Hold the applause.
I'm here all week.

You lied to me!

He didn't tell me he was
lying, so you can't arrest me.

Ms. Serabian, sign this waiver, or I'll
be forced to leave you in Bakersfield,

and it'll be at least a week
until you're arraigned in LA.

- I'm not signing anything.
- Angie.

- No!
- Sign the waiver, sweetie pie.

And I tell you what.
We'll drive back together,

and I'll even throw in
a nice, romantic lunch.

You sure it's not gonna
be too hot in there?

And what? Melt the
videotape? No. Here.

- Hey, this is not your property!
- Hey, I need the wallet.

Here we go.

Oh, please. Not with
that stupid thing again.

Listen, all my evidence is in
here, and I'm taking no chances.

Come on, let's go.

You know what I
can tell about you?

- What?
- You hate women.

No. Just you.

Come on. ANGIE: You're
pinching my arm again.

- Here we go.
- No sea una bitch!

Who are you calling a bitch for?

Are you?

Rosie, you been riding
us all day, girl. Chill out.

And now you're taking
his side? Whatever, man.

Yeah, I'm gonna take his
side, perra. Get used to it.

I'm not even hungry anymore. And I
can't believe you lied to me, George.

George didn't lie
to you, Angie. I did.

- And my name isn't George.
- Well, what is it, then?

Lieutenant.

You know, you need to
quit laughing and judging me.

- I was in a really bad marriage.
- Hey, listen, sweetie.

Between us, we've been
stuck in six bad marriages.

We just didn't choose
to murder our way out.

Though I understand the urge.

I bet your wife never
cut up your credit cards

or made you feel
like a cheap prostitute.

Or made you dance naked
in front of your AA friends.

Your husband let
you have credit cards?

What's gonna happen
to me, George?

Oh, Angie, it's not
gonna be that bad.

You'll be off to Parker
Center. You'll like that.

They're gonna take your picture,
they're gonna fingerprint you,

and they're gonna book
you. I mean, who knows?

Be a gas.

Um... What's gonna
happen to me after that?

And then we give the surveillance
tape and the 20 grand over to the DA.

Do you really think you have
enough evidence to put me in jail?

Are you serious?

Once the jury sees the
evidence that we have in that car,

you're out of here. Am I right?

- Now what did you lose?
- Cell phone.

I left it in the car.

You know, you should be really
worried about your friend George.

I mean, I had to tell him three
times where to find my husband.

Don't worry about him. That
guy's at the top of his game.

Look, you got to order
something off the menu,

because starting tomorrow, it's gonna be
nothing but powdered eggs and burritos.

Do you think all the
evidence was in the car?

Every bit of it.

Oh, my God.

Maybe I should call the cops.

The real cops, right?

Oh, too bad for you,
and great for me!

Am I sorry that we
ruined your afternoon off?

You betcha.

But, Chief, if I tried,

I mean, I couldn't count the
number of things that went right today.

Start with the things that didn't, like
how you lost the evidence we need

to prosecute an open-and-shut
case of attempted murder!

Brenda, the evidence isn't
lost. It's just out for a joyride.

I don't need sarcasm.
I need the evidence.

Don't look at me, the FBI stopped
manufacturing evidence in the late '90s.

Chief, have we suffered a
setback? Unquestionably.

But even if, God forbid,

even if we never find
the video or the money

or my car,

Angie Serabian can
still be prosecuted.

He's right.

With a little finesse,
Angie could confess.

You must have a little more faith
than I do in the Lieutenant's charisma.

How could you do this to me?

- I don't know what...
- How could you do this to me?

For 25 years, I
give you everything.

A house, a car, new tits.

And this is how you pay me back?

- You bitch!
- You're a...

Commander, what
is going on here?

Mr. Serabian wanted to retrieve his
wallet and meet the arresting detectives.

Up till now, I had no idea about
this afternoon's complications.

Is that my shirt?

You give him my
lucky dice shirt?

Do you see the mother you have?

Commander, please remove
Mr. Serabian and his family this instant!

Wait! You, in my shirt.

How much money did
she give you to kill me?

$20,000.

Where did you get that kind of
money, except by stealing it from me?

Oh, my God. I don't know
anything about any money or...

Or any attempted murder, either.

Ms. Serabian, my
entire squad saw you

give Lieutenant Provenza
here an envelope of cash

because you thought he
murdered your husband.

And as soon as I know
where you got that money,

I'm gonna be halfway
to convicting you.

Ms. Chief,

perhaps if you could give my brother
his wallet, we could all go home now?

Uh, yeah. Look, Mr. Serabian,

we want to thank you
for giving us your wallet

to assist in the
arrest of your wife.

Unfortunately, it was stolen,
along with all the other evidence,

so you might want to cancel
your credit cards and things, and...

- Oh, God.
- How inept are you people?

You wouldn't believe this bunch.

Chief Johnson, a word.

Stay.

- Where did you get the money?
- I entered your picture in an ugly contest,

and you won the grand prize.

Since you cannot hold her
more than 48 hours after booking,

you might want to
consider releasing her now

and then bringing her back in

when you have a chance to
locate the missing evidence.

Detective Sanchez, please take
Ms. Serabian here to processing,

and let me know when
she's ready to be released.

And, Mr. Serabian, you
are staying right here.

Ha-ha. I get to go home.

Bye, Georgie.

So, that's it?

No, that's not it. She'll
probably try to kill you again.

The operation was
entirely successful.

Murder was prevented.

However,

in the aftermath, there
was a small complication.

Mmm-hmm.

While buying food
for the suspect,

Lieutenant Provenza's car,

with all the
evidence, was stolen.

You're kidding, right?

And because I believe that
Ms. Serabian remains capable

of carrying out her murder-for-hire
plans, we need to protect the husband

while searching for
Lieutenant Provenza's car.

You do realize that the
longer the evidence is out there,

the nearer to impossible
it will be to admit it at trial?

Just do what you have to do.
I'll sign off on whatever you need.

- You will?
- Yes, with this understanding,

if this situation is not completely
resolved within 48 hours,

I will expect Provenza's
resignation from your division.

That is completely arbitrary!

Lieutenant Provenza is an
invaluable second-in-command!

Who gets paid more than anyone
else in PHD, except for yourself.

Can you honestly tell
me that he's worth it?

- Absolutely.
- Or is it possible

that your misguided
attachment to him

is based on your fondness
for him as a person?

Excuse me. The clock's ticking.

Why am I still here?

For the umpteenth time,
it's for your protection.

From my nutjob wife?

A woman dumb enough
to hire a cop to kill me?

Look, as soon as we get
the okay from the Chief,

we're all gonna move to a motel.

And spend the night
with you two idiots?

No, thanks.

I have my own gun,
and I know how to use it.

Flynn. No, no, no. Flynn, if
he wants to go, let him go.

He's driving me crazy. And, I
mean, we can't hold him here, anyway.

Thank you.

And the $20,000 that you lost,

if it came from me,
you're paying it back!

I'll send you a claim form.

And I want my shirt.

You let him walk out
of here, just like that?

Chief, he complained
for an hour.

We couldn't lock him up.

Where's Ms. Serabian right now?

Almost through
processing, Chief.

With the husband out, do
you want us to hold her?

No. Sergeant Gabriel
and I will follow her.

Thank you.

Have we found the young man
who stole Lieutenant Provenza's car?

No. But we did
find his girlfriend,

who paid by check
at the pancake house.

Ms. Lucy Santacruz,
lives at 84th and McKinley.

Stakeout in progress.

Detective Sanchez, would you
please press Ms. Santacruz a little?

Maybe we could hurry
things along. Thank you.

Chief, instead of Sanchez,
maybe I should be looking for my car

and then kick the asses
of those punks who stole it!

As much as I'd like to see
you break your own record

for procedural
violations in a single shift,

I'd prefer if you and
Lieutenant Flynn

found Mr. Serabian and
kept him under surveillance.

Do I need to explain
how that's done?

With our luck, she's
probably calling in another hit.

I don't know.

I don't have the slightest idea
how this woman's mind works.

What I wouldn't give to see
the egg she hatched from.

Kid said his father went for a
sandwich on the way to his office.

Apparently, Dad didn't want to
be home when Mom got back.

- Angie still lives here?
- Yeah, in the guest cottage.

The asshole lives
in the main house.

Must make for some happy
reunions in the driveway.

- You want some?
- No, thanks. I just ate.

So, can't we prosecute
Angie without the tape?

I mean, I don't understand.
We all heard what she said.

I think a jury would believe
the attempted-murder part,

but now that Lieutenant Provenza
lost the cash that Angie gave us,

the murder-for-hire part
goes out the window.

And maybe I should
just toss him out after it.

Get rid of Lieutenant Provenza?

You serious?

I wish I were, Sergeant.

It would make life
a whole lot easier.

Here we go.

She left her car in Bakersfield.
What do you think she's doing here?

Picking up a set of keys
to a loaner or something?

Lieutenant, are
you following us?

We're looking for Alex
Serabian, just like you asked.

His son said he
was on his way here.

"A-L-E-X-J-A-G." That's his car.

- Alex Serabian is here?
- Yeah.

Oh, for heaven's sakes!

Help me! - Angie! Angie! Angie!

Someone shot my husband!
- Angie! Angie!

Help me! Oh, my
God! Help me! Help me!

- What? What's going on?
- Help me! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I'm... I'm rich! I'm rich!

Oh, my God, I'm rich!

Oh, no.

Okay.

Now we have to get serious.

Morning.

Any news on Lieutenant
Provenza's car?

The girl from the pancake house
gave up her boyfriend/car thief,

and Sanchez is staking out
the dirtbag's apartment right now.

Okay. And what did we hear
from the medical examiner?

The bullet that killed Alex
Serabian was a .32-caliber.

Went straight through his heart.

TOD was estimated around 8:45.

Roughly 15 minutes before
you arrived on the scene.

Oh, for heaven's
sakes. 15 minutes?

Add that to the fact that we saw
Angie Serabian walk in and out

and didn't hear a gunshot and she
tested negative for gunshot residue.

So it's virtually impossible that
she murdered her husband herself.

Search of the premises
turned up a wall safe,

which the victim's
brother opened for us.

We found Alex Serabian's
passport, a small amount of cash.

No sign of a murder weapon,

but the gun Serabian had registered
to him was a .32-caliber Walther.

Same caliber as
the one that shot him.

So it's possible that Mr. Serabian's
gun was used against him.

Any leads on where Ms.
Serabian got her money?

Nothing, but SID found a
considerable amount of cash

in a desk drawer in
Alex Serabian's office.

- Want to guess how much?
- $20,000 seems to be the magic number.

To the dollar.

All right, I want to know if
Ms. Serabian hired anyone else

to murder her husband.

Lieutenant Provenza, did she
mention anyone else to you?

- Nope.
- No.

Okay. Where is Ms. Serabian now?

She's in Interview 2,
gabbing on her cell phone.

I Mirandized her and
figured it was okay

for her to keep talking
while Buzz recorded her.

Thank you.

Morning, everyone.

How are we doing with
our attempted murder?

Very well. Very
well. Case closed.

Excellent. And has the
husband been notified?

More or less.

Oh, my God.

With me. With me.

Well?

Well, we picked up one of the guys
who stole your car, but he's not talking.

- Where is he?
- Interview 1, sir.

Thank you, Sanchez.

Even if the evidence
is never recovered,

we still have witness
statements from our officers.

Yeah, and there's nothing
more persuasive to a jury

than the statements of the officers
who botched the case in the first place.

- What was that about?
- What was what about?

He just walked out of here
with a picture of your mother.

He's awfully fond of my mother.

Hey, idiot.

Do you know me?

I said, "Do you know me?"

No, man. I never
seen you before.

Well, then.

- Do you know who this is?
- Your daughter?

No.

No. This is the
sweet little old lady

that you brutally murdered
and cut into tiny pieces.

Whoa! What are
you talking about?

You stole her car. You must
be the one that killed her.

I didn't kill no old lady, man.
That car was just sitting...

So, you admit it. You
admit it. You stole the Civic.

Bitches left us in the
middle of nowhere, man.

We needed to get home, but I
didn't kill nobody. Where we going?

If you don't want to be under
arrest for first degree murder,

you're gonna take me to that car, and
you better hope there's no blood in it,

you little pissant!

He is going to be
the death of me!

Yeah. I know, Marie.
It's just terrible. I know.

Yeah, it was all my fault. Yeah.

Because it was my idea
to get the white couch.

Yeah, I know. It
picks up everything.

Yeah. Marie, I gotta go.

Yeah. It's the police.

No. They're totally clueless.

All right. Bye-bye.

Can we get you anything, Ms.
Serabian? Something to drink?

Well, champagne might be nice.

I think the celebration
is a little premature,

considering that you were the
last person with your husband

before he was discovered dead.

You followed me the whole time.

Explain how I killed Alex
with you guys watching me.

I just thank God you're the worst
police department in the whole world.

Ma'am, we will eventually prove

that you paid someone
to murder your husband.

If I really wanted to get
someone to kill Alex, right,

do you think I would ask George?

I can't say.

But have no fear, we are
aggressively looking into that.

Well, you really need
to speed things up,

'cause I got a big
funeral to plan.

And I'm gonna go
to Canyon Ranch.

Last time you left here,
things didn't go so well,

so you will not be leaving
here again anytime soon.

All right, well, fine.

But I really need somewhere
to plug in my charger, then.

Sorry. We're gonna
be needing this.

See? Just like inside
the car, no blood.

Where's the money that
was in that envelope?

- Gas and beer.
- Gas and beer?

You didn't spend 20
grand on gas and beer.

What 20 grand? It was only
a few hundred in real money.

- The rest was fake. Check it out.
- Look at this! Serabian cash.

Little creep just might
be telling the truth.

- These are photocopied. Look.
- I can't believe it! She ripped me off!

Who can you trust these days?

Wait, wait, wait. Flynn! Wait.

Thank God Almighty!
We're back in business!

- Now you got what you want. Can I go?
- Can you go?

No, you can't go!
You stole my car!

Your car? What
happened to the old lady?

Did anyone ever tell you
you're a big old grouch?

You're the first.

But you know what? At least
you're a big old sexy grouch.

Thanks.

- Come on. They have pancakes here.
- Angie.

I just killed your husband an
hour ago. I don't want pancakes.

Really? You're gonna go on
the run on an empty stomach?

Come on. I own half
a car dealership now.

- I'm rich. I'll buy...
- Point that thing at me, payaso!

Can't you see I'm driving?

Where we going, anyway, man?
- Don't worry about it.

Hey, bro! You're
wasting the beer, man.

- Tripping, man.
- Bro, this car smells like my grandpa.

Your grandpa stinks, bro!

I assume we're no longer looking
at footage of the sting operation.

- Chief, should I fast-forward?
- That would be a good idea. Thank you.

Chief, sorry to interrupt.
Detective Daniels found something

I think you should see.

A bill from Perma-Safe Security

for installation of a wall safe?

And a floor safe we
knew nothing about.

Oh!

Yeah, boy!

- You tell them, George.
- Thank you. Thank you.

- Hold the applause. I'm here all week.
- You lied...

Well, it's not a total loss.

We shouldn't have any
trouble prosecuting the guys

who stole Lieutenant
Provenza's Civic.

Good luck wrapping this up.
And, Chief Johnson, tick-tock.

What does that
mean, "tick-tock"?

It's the sound of the clock
running out on my career.

- Ah!
- The reason I didn't mention it last night

- is because I didn't know it was here.
- You can't drill through the top,

and jackhammering the safe
will take at least two hours.

Or we can pull it out
in about five minutes

by hooking a cable
to a tow truck and...

Time is money, Mr. Serabian.

Do I use the tow truck, or are you
gonna give me the combination?

I told you, I don't know it.

This is gonna be fun.

Perfect!

- Oh.
- Okay. What do we have here?

This looks like Alex
Serabian's Walther.

With one bullet missing. But
good luck getting prints off of this.

I'm guessing there's $5,000 in
each bundle. And I've got the will.

The portion I highlighted is
what you were interested in.

Uh, Sergeant Gabriel, where are
we with Ms. Serabian's cell phone?

We checked all her calls
over the last three days,

and none of them seem
like potential accomplices.

Chief, I read the brother
his rights, and I put him in 1.

Thank you. Thank you, Detective.

Um... Sergeant Gabriel,
Interview Room 1. Meet you there.

And has anyone seen
Lieutenant Provenza?

Uh, Chief, the last I saw,
he was in Electronics.

So, who had the
combination, Chief?

The killer.

If you think I blame myself for that
asshole being dead, well, I don't.

I blame that crappy
steering-wheel lock.

If that thing had worked
the way it was supposed to,

none of this would
have happened!

Lieutenant, there's no time
left to consider how we got here.

Only how we get out, and if we
can, how we do it with a bit of dignity.

Oh.

It is way too late for that.

Pull it together.

For the next hour, I need
the stubborn, cynical,

rude, suspicious know-it-all
you've always tried to be.

After that, we'll see.

Oh, my God. It's about time. I've
been here all by myself forever.

I don't have any magazines.
I don't have my phone.

And I'm a widow.

Ms. Serabian, I know how fond
you are of Lieutenant Provenza here,

so I imagine that you
will be delighted to know

that we have recovered
his car and all its contents.

- Isn't that wonderful?
- I don't believe you.

Well.

Believe her now?

For our purposes, it doesn't matter if
you gave Lieutenant Provenza $20,000

or $20.

You asked him to murder
your husband, you paid him,

and we have it all, clear
as day, on videotape.

- Not anymore, we don't.
- Can we skip

- the commentary track, please?
- I keep telling you,

- I didn't kill my husband!
- I'm quite certain of that.

Then what am I still doing here?

Angie, just listen to her, huh?

Because, Ms. Serabian,
I have no interest

in prosecuting you for attempted murder
when I have an actual murder to solve.

And I think that I can find
the killer if you'll only tell me

how you got the
combination to the safe.

Alex's brother gave it to me.

Thank you so much.

I'll be back in two shakes.

But I will leave Lieutenant
Provenza here to keep you company.

Now that she's off the hook,

maybe you two
can patch things up.

Oh, my, Mr. Serabian.

You look uncomfortable.
Can we get you something?

- A glass of water?
- Or a sponge?

Let me get to the
point, Mr. Serabian.

Because, in pursuing my investigation,
I have come to a conclusion that

I think you will find
extremely distressing.

- You have?
- I'm afraid so.

I am convinced

that your sister-in-law,
Angie, murdered your brother.

I know. It's so horrible.

- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.

Why? Are you surprised?

No, no. I mean, from
the moment I learned

that Angie was trying to kill my
brother, I knew she would do it.

She's very determined.

Well, I just have a
few loose threads

that I need to stitch
up, Mr. Serabian.

Please, call me Hovnan.

Thank you, Hov... Hov...

- Hovnan.
- Hovnan.

- Hovnan.
- Havnan.

GABRIEL: Hovnan. BRENDA: Ha van?

- Hovnan.
- Havana? Havnana?

It's okay. Just please call
me Hank. Everybody does.

So, Hank, a short while ago,

we opened the safe we retrieved
from your office, and guess what.

Inside, we found the gun
Angie used to kill your brother.

- It was in the safe?
- How about that.

Of course, that would mean Angie
would have to have the combination.

And I need to find
out how she got that.

I know you told us that you
didn't have the combination,

and it must be terribly embarrassing
now to admit that you did,

but we all tell little white lies
from time to time. I know I have.

- Have you, Sergeant?
- Nope. Never.

I just want to make sure that
the right person goes to jail

for Alex's murder, and knowing
who all had the combination

would make that
immensely helpful.

Yes. Only Alex and I had the
combination, and I gave it to Angie.

And why, exactly,
did you do that?

Hank?

I gave her the combination,

because Angie
came to me and said

she needed $20,000 to
make her problems go away.

And when you found out that
the problem was your brother,

- you must've felt terribly betrayed.
- Yes, terribly! I felt terribly betrayed!

And I knew Alex would think
that I gave her the money, and...

- Which I didn't!
- No, you merely gave her

the combination to the safe
that contained the money,

so that she could
get the money herself.

Which is why, I imagine, you
were so desperate to return it.

I took Alex's gun from the safe
to put the money underneath,

and that's when Angie
walked in. And I said,

"How could you do this?

"How could you take my brother's
money to have someone kill him?"

And she said, "You know
how he treats me? Like a dog."

And I said, "No. He's
my brother. I love him.

"Go away. I don't ever
want to see you again!"

And just then, Alex walked in.

- That must have been awkward.
- Yes. Very, very awkward.

Hmm.

And he said, "How could you, my
wife, and you, my brother, do this to me?"

And I said, "It's not me.
It's Angie. It's all her fault."

And Angie grabbed
the gun and said,

"I should have done this
myself in the first place!"

Yeah! And she shot Alex.

And Angie said that
police would suspect me,

and it'd be better if we say
nothing of what happened.

Oh.

- And then you walked out together.
- Yes, yes. We walked away.

What is your problem?

That's a really great story,
Hank. But I have a better one.

At 9:00 p.m. last night,

we saw your sister-in-law, Angie,
walk by herself into Serabian Motors.

Not one minute later, she
walked out, again, by herself.

There was no time for her
to have retrieved the gun,

shot him, and placed
it back in the safe.

She could have done
it very, very quickly.

We would have
heard a gunshot. No.

The only reasonable
explanation is,

Alex confronted you when
you tried to return the money,

and so you took the
gun and shot him.

Isn't that what happened?
You shot your own brother.

But why? Why would I do that?

Angie kept talking about how she
was inheriting half a car dealership,

and it got me wondering,
"Who gets the other half?"

And according to Alex's
will, that would be you.

And when she failed to knock him
off, despite all your backhanded help,

you took matters into your
own hands and shot him yourself.

- Didn't you shoot him?
- I shot him! I shot him!

But I wasn't aiming at him.

Well, we're just gonna have
to let the jury sort that out.

Sergeant Gabriel, would you
please arrest Mr. Serabian here,

while I go check on
Lieutenant Provenza?

This is... This is
all Angie's fault.

And now what? She's
gonna walk away?

No, more than likely,
she drives away.

In your brother's Jaguar.

Maybe I wasn't completely
honest with you...

He's like a minute
from closing...

Shh.

You weren't exactly
truthful with me, either.

What?

No. What makes you
think I wasn't being truthful?

For starters, you handed
me that pile of bogus money.

I mean, so much
for establishing trust.

No. I know. But, you
see, I was afraid that

if I gave you the money, I
would never see you again.

- What?
- What? Yeah, and...

I can't tell you.

Angie. Angie.

I know that you
didn't kill Alex.

So talk to me.

Well...

I...

It's hard for me to say this,

but I was just thinking that

maybe the only reason you
were interested in me is because

I was paying you
to kill my husband.

Oh. Angie. Angie.

That's just not
true. No, it's not true.

And there is no reason that
we still can't get together.

- Really?
- Really.

Really. But since
we're being honest...

Angie, I have to
tell you something.

I have to tell you,

that by the time
you're available,

you may be too old for me.

What do you mean by that?

Well, you just confessed
to attempted murder,

and you're going to
prison for at least 10 years.

But...

But she said she wasn't
interested in attempted murder.

Well, she isn't.

But I am.

Yeah?

Well, congratulations,
Lieutenant.

Yeah, I know. You're thrilled.

Uh, I just dropped by to tell you
that I am never going to retire.

- Ever.
- Why?

Look, I'm not gonna tell
you that I'm Charlie Hustle.

The only thing I chase these days
are women who have had a few drinks.

Okay.

But if you want to
save a couple of bucks

out of our division's budget by
trading my experience for a rookie...

I have a civil-service job,

and the only way that I am going to
leave the Los Angeles Police Department

is if I get shot, have a heart
attack, and then you run me over.

After which,

I will consider a
disability position.

But you really still
haven't told me why.

When my first
wife and I divorced,

I agreed to split my pension
with her from the day I retire.

I'll be damned if
she gets a nickel.

That I understand.

- You do?
- Mmm-hmm.

I made a distressingly similar
arrangement with my first wife.

Ah.

You do realize that
I may eventually

be forced to put you in
some crappy desk job.

Then expect me to die
with a stapler in my hand.

Till death do us part.

English-SDH