The Closer (2005–2012): Season 3, Episode 3 - Saving Face - full transcript

We'd been

flirting with the
waitress, a little.

Cindy. Red hair. Nice uniform.

Nothing serious, you know.

Anyway, five minutes after last call,
some guy pulls a gun on the bartender.

And Ray turns to me,
and he says, "Andy,

"get the cuffs off Cindy here, and put them
on the dirt bag, so we can call it a night."

Well, anyway,

in the seven-and-a-half years
that Ray and I were partners,

we never knew where
the shift was gonna take us.

But when it was done, we always
had a hell of a story and a good collar.



And today, he's riding
shotgun with the apostles.

And Saint Peter can rest easier
knowing that Ray Hodge has his back.

Andrew, nice eulogy.

- Not a wet eye in the house.
- Yeah? Thanks.

Okay. Everybody ready? On
the count of three. One, two, three.

God, Hodge! How much
weight did you put on?

Watch the steps. Easy.

Okay, slow down. Slow down.
Hey, whoa! Slow down, would you?

Wow. Looks like you
can take it with you.

Fellas, until we find out
who she is and how she died,

those steps are a crime scene.

Fine, but there's no way we're
letting a 35 year veteran of the force

lie on these steps while
you vacuum for fibers.

- Then what do you suggest?
- Here's what we're gonna do.



We're gonna preserve what's left of
Ray's dignity by finishing the burial,

and then bringing
this all back afterwards.

Right now, Hodge's wife and kids are
standing by an empty hole in the ground.

You want them to come back here
and witness this? Think, Tao. Think!

Okay, okay, you know what?
You're officially outvoted.

So put up the tape, cover the
girl, do what you have to do,

and then wait for Provenza
and me to get back.

Excuse me, gentlemen,
but how long will this take?

We have a wedding
starting up any minute.

Come, come, come.

- It's a body.
- I know.

"And may the one of peace,

"who through the blood
of the eternal covenant,

"brought back from the dead.
That great shepherd of the sheep,

"through the blood of
the everlasting covenant,

"hold our friend, Ray
Hodge, and keep him."

- "Behold his tabernacle is with men..."
- Damn it, Tao!

"And he will dwell with them..."

- He just snitched. I knew it.
- "...And they shall be his people."

- May grace and peace be...
- Hurry, hurry, hurry. Move to the Amens.

- Amens, get to the Amens.
- Amen.

Amen.

Hey. Hey. Wind it
down. Wind it down.

Stop that casket!

I'm so sorry. I'm
so sorry to interrupt.

I'm Deputy Chief Brenda
Leigh Johnson of the LAPD,

and I'm gonna have to ask
you to stop lowering that casket.

- What are you talking...
- Thank you.

- This is a disgrace.
- Thank you so much.

I'm so sorry, ma'am.

I'll explain what's going on
here in just... In one second.

Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza,
with me. With me, with me.

Sorry.

Lieutenant Tao tells me that a
murder victim rolled out of that casket!

Listen, Chief. Provenza and
I made a command decision

that, for the sake of the family,
and out of respect for the deceased,

that the funeral
should continue.

As soon as the family leaves, we'll haul
Hodge up and do what needs to be done.

You get that casket
back to where it was. Now!

And I will deal
with y'all later.

This is the last time that
I carpool with Tao, ever!

The woman's body
was not embalmed.

Coroner's investigator thinks she
was suffocated, possibly strangled,

12 to 24 hours ago.

Detective Daniels, please
have the funeral home

that handled Ray Hodge's
body closed. Thank you.

Detective Sanchez,
Sergeant Gabriel,

secure the church and have
anyone who might have handled

Ray Hodge's casket detained,
please. Thank you very much.

- Officer, I've got...
- Excuse me!

I don't know what
is going on here,

but this is my day and I want
that body moved this instant.

I understand how
inconvenient this is, ma'am,

- but that body cannot be moved until...
- Sure, it can!

Detective Sanchez,
stop that bride!

- Hey, everyone should...
- No, no, no!

- Daddy, do something...
- You! Release my daughter!

- Let go of me!
- Get back, please! Listen to me!

Daddy, are you
getting this on tape?

- Hey! Hey!
- Start filming this for my lawsuit!

Get that thing out of here!

- You are ruining my wedding!
- I am not!

- Detective Sanchez.
- Yes, ma'am.

The ceremony can proceed as
planned using different entrances.

- By the time you've said "I do..."
- Forget it!

My guests are going up those
stairs, through those doors!

- Hey, come on.
- All right. Now I am ruining your wedding!

You are under arrest for obstruction
of justice, battery of a police officer...

- Hey!
- I'm sorry!

Put me down! Let go!

- Daddy!
- Bitch!

- Don't you ruin my wedding.
- Film the whole damn thing!

- Turn that camera off!
- Daddy!

Film these mothers!

Get it. Get this. Get the film!

You shut down a church
and a funeral home.

You arrested a bride.

- I did that groom a big favor.
- I'm sure,

but his family's in the lobby and
they, surprisingly, don't agree.

The father of the bride, who
has money coming out of his...

Whatever. You choose an orifice.
Is threatening a major lawsuit.

Ray Hodge's
relatives are furious.

And what could have been
just a minor embarrassment

is now a complete disaster.

And congratulations,
Chief Johnson,

you've just become the most downloaded
fully-clothed woman on the Internet.

Now, if I'm allowed to
talk to the press... I'm sorry.

- Chief Pope, how is this my fault?
- Well, three words, Flynn and Provenza.

Oh, God. Okay. Okay.

Let's look at the bright side.

When that naked woman
popped out of Ray Hodge's casket,

Flynn and Provenza exposed a murder that
otherwise might never have come to light.

And this business with the
bride would have been far worse

had Chief Johnson actually
done anything effectively

- to defend herself.
- Quinn, Miss Morgan attacked me.

- I made a conscious choice not to respond.
- Clearly.

Okay, let's just hope that
things get better from here.

And by better, I mean
that you discover this body

has absolutely nothing
to do with the LAPD.

Commander. Chief Pope.

- You got beaten up by a bride?
- I did not get beaten up!

If I'd wanted to lay that spoiled
brat out flat, I would have.

- Instead, I displayed professional restraint.
- I see.

Well, while you were
busy pulling punches,

you couldn't have given me a call?
Let me know what was going on?

I spent an hour waiting for
you in front of our new house.

- What are you talking about?
- Brenda, this place is turnkey.

It's halfway between
your job and mine.

It's got three bedrooms, two
baths, no stairs for visiting parents.

But the realtor says another
couple is already writing an offer.

So we need to make a bid today.

Fritz, there's no way I'm getting
out of here to look at a house.

Come on! What is so pressing
that you can't get away from the office

for one hour on a
Sunday afternoon?

You know what? Don't talk.

This way, this way.

So after his second heart
attack, Ray Hodge left the force

and became a
private investigator.

Our unidentified victim might
have something to do with

one of the cases he
was working on, or not.

Do you think Ray's widow will give
us a problem handing over his files?

Maggie? No, she'll cooperate.

Yeah, but if Ray kept his paperwork
as a PI the same way he did as a cop,

only thing you're gonna find in those
files are racing forms and takeout menus.

All right, look, I'm not gonna deny
Ray had a reputation as a womanizer.

- And drinker.
- And a gambler.

Okay, off hours!

On duty, he was
one of the good guys!

- Anything we find will back that up.
- And how do we deal with the autopsy?

Doctor Crippen is working
up the bodies right now.

No sign of sexual
assault on our Jane Doe.

- Okay, and the wife?
- I put Ray Hodge's widow in your office.

I can see that, Detective, yes.

Well, she didn't know
about the naked dead chick

falling out of her husband's
coffin until I told her,

- so she's a little bent out of shape.
- Chief?

Me and Provenza have a
long history with Maggie Hodge.

So maybe we should go in first
and sort of smooth things over?

All right, all right. Go,
go, go, please. Thank you.

Now, Detective Daniels,

- what do we know about the mortuary?
- You ready?

Sheffield and Eckhart is one of
the oldest funeral homes in town.

Edward Eckhart, the owner,
nearly broke down on the phone

when I described what happened.

He also asked about a dozen times
if we could keep this out of the press.

- Eckhart faxed the list of employees...
- Hey!

- For heaven's sakes!
- What's the matter with you?

Damn!

Without you making
excuses for him!

- Flynn!
- What are you yelling at me for, Chief?

- I walked in and she started slapping me!
- Yeah! She really kind of did, Chief.

All right, all right. Let go.

Out, you two.

- It's so unfair.
- Yes, it is.

- It's so unfair.
- It's so unfair.

My sincere
condolences on your loss.

You mean my embarrassment.

Rotten son of a bitch.

Ma'am, would you
like to sit down?

Mrs. Hodge, when your husband passed,
we assumed it was from natural causes,

but with recent events,
we have to wonder.

- Did anyone want him dead?
- More than me?

I seriously doubt that.

Here is a picture of the woman who
was in the casket with your husband.

Does she look at all familiar?

Blond, big tits, blank
expression. Yeah.

That was Ray's type.

Do you think he might
have been involved with her?

With Ray's heart? He
couldn't raise a flag.

And Viagra would
have been suicide.

Mrs. Hodge, we understand
for the past several years,

Mr. Hodge has been working
as a private investigator.

Would you object to
us looking over his files?

- Sure, why not? What do I care?
- Thank you, Mrs. Hodge.

And as soon as the coroner
has finished with his autopsy,

I'll have Mr. Hodge's body
returned to you for reburial.

Don't bother.

As far as I'm concerned,
you can burn him.

And I'm not talking some
fancy cremation either.

I'm talking gasoline,
paint thinner,

and strike a match.

We've gone over the full list
of funeral home employees,

and no one has
a criminal record.

Well, just because they
don't have criminal records

doesn't mean they
don't commit crimes.

Edward Eckhart, our
esteemed funeral home owner,

is awaiting you in Interview 1.

Why haven't these people
been taken to a holding cell?

I specifically asked
that they remain here

until we made a good faith
effort to resolve the situation.

Well, I arrested them.
Situation resolved.

I am looking for
some instant shut up!

Now!

Miss Morgan, over the last hour,
our attorneys have assured me

that you and your family have
no grounds for a civil lawsuit.

In fact, your own videographer's
footage is all the evidence we need

to file criminal charges against you
and your father for obstruction of justice,

interfering with a murder investigation,
and battery against a police officer.

I barely touched that bitch.

I consider it a great shame that what
might have been an amusing anecdote

for a fiftieth wedding anniversary
somehow devolved into a riot.

I also view Chief Johnson
as the injured party here,

so I will defer to her wishes as to
how we might best resolve this situation.

Oh.

Well, this has been a
tough day for everyone.

So if y'all will sign releases
abandoning plans for civil action,

I will drop the charges
and y'all can go home.

Who's gonna reimburse me
for the cost of this wedding?

This woman is the caterer.
Her bill alone is $30,000.

A number which will pale in
comparison to the bill your lawyers

will send you for suing us on
charges you cannot possibly win.

This offer is in effect
for the next 10 seconds.

Yes or no.

I will never, ever,
ever sign a release.

Not only that, but when
I'm done suing you,

I'm gonna take the city's millions and
have the most beautiful wedding ever.

Officers, will you take the
bridal party to booking now?

- Oh, no. Okay, just...
- If you wanna send a gift,

I'll be registered
at Merrill Lynch.

Daniels, before I talk to the
director of this funeral home,

I need to take a look at
their finances. So thank you.

Miss Caterer, it'd
really be a shame

to let all that
food go to waste.

Well, it happens. I just usually
donate it to the less fortunate.

Good afternoon, Mr. Eckhart. I'm
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson, LAPD.

So sorry we had to
shut down your mortuary.

I understand someone has
already read you your rights.

Yes, yes. Yes, they
have. Dear God.

- Am I being arrested for something?
- Not necessarily, sir.

That's not no. That's not a no.

Well, I can't say what
will happen here today

until you can explain why there were
two bodies shoved together in one coffin.

That casket left my funeral
parlor with one body in it.

- Only one. I swear.
- And how can you be sure of that, sir?

Because at Sheffield and Eckhart,
I'm what's known as "the closer."

- Excuse me?
- I'm the last person to view the body.

And then I close
the coffin. Tight.

And why on earth would I
put one body in with another?

Sheffield and Eckhart makes
money from every casket that we sell.

Perhaps you were offered a little
extra cash to get rid of a corpse

that couldn't be disposed
of through legitimate means.

Corpse. Don't say "corpse."
We don't say "corpse."

We say "loved
one," or "deceased."

And no, I've never seen
her before in my life.

If you dump a murder victim
in someone else's casket,

the crime disappears
into the ground forever.

- I hear it happens all the time.
- It doesn't happen all the time.

It never happens! Never at
Sheffield and Eckhart! Never!

For over 100 years,

our mortuary's public face
has been without blemish.

- No, thank you.
- And now...

Today, we may have
lost something invaluable.

Our unique reputation.

And that would be?

Sheffield and Eckhart is
known for how we prepare

the dearly departed for viewing.

Our pledge,

"To make the deceased look
as good as they've ever looked."

We never cut corners,

even if it means hiring the most
talented and expensive team of experts.

I'd like to know about them,
sir. I would also like the names

of everyone with access to
the home for the past five years.

Especially any employee with a
penchant for naked, dead women.

- Naked, dead...
- I also want the names

on every guestbook
for the past five days,

because I think a visitor may
have come through the front door

and left through the back.

I also will not hesitate to exhume
every one of your clients buried.

Yeah, hi. We need a
janitor in Interview 1.

- Oh, Lord.
- Bring a mask.

Hodge was on three
heart medications.

I'm waiting for
tissue diagnosis,

but I have no doubt he died
from a lifetime of eating fried food.

Now, as for your Jane Doe,

the hyoid bone above the larynx was
broken and detached from the skull,

suggesting she was
strangled with significant force.

And I think you're gonna find
this is even more interesting.

Chin implants, cheek implants,
rhinoplasty, dental veneers,

collagen in the lips. Not to mention
a tummy tuck and butt augmentation.

- Is that a lot?
- Even by LA standards.

Judging by these incisions,

most, if not all, of the work, was
done within the past 18 months.

So this is probably not the way
her face looks on her driver's license.

But the good news is

I can tell you who
our Jane Doe is.

These are her breast implants,
which include serial numbers

which allow you to trace
them back to the surgeon.

Deputy Chief Johnson.

Meet Miss Alarcon A-Y, 14-7-8-9.

So sorry to keep you
waiting. I had no idea.

My schedule is slightly
screwed up today.

- Doctor...
- No, no, please. Don't get up.

Let me just take a
look at you right here.

The lighting where you're sitting
is specifically designed to highlight

every element of your face.

- Doctor.
- No, no. Don't say anything else.

This is the fun part.

I always like to guess why...

It's your mouth. Isn't it?

You know, I might be costing
myself some serious money here,

but I think the problem
might just be your lipstick.

- Excuse me?
- You know,

my wife always tells me that
I'm too blunt with the patients,

but between the color and
the way you're slathering it on,

it's making your
mouth look huge.

Doctor, I'm not here
about my giant mouth,

I'm here about breast implants.

Really?

Okay, well,

- how much bigger do you wanna be?
- Not implants for me!

Implants that the manufacturer
says that you purchased.

That were removed from
a dead woman's body.

You need to tell us who she was.

Oh.

This is almost always a very bad
way to have these implants returned.

Let me just,

take a look at the numbers here.

Oh.

No, this is terrible. Sue Emery.

- What happened?
- What can you tell us about her?

Lovely young lady.
Aspiring actress.

- Perfect patient.
- How's that?

Well, she healed with no
keloids and virtually no scarring.

She's a surgeon's dream.
And please, look at this face.

That is a natural beauty.

Would you describe Sue
Emery as a surgery addict?

No, definitely not. No,
for an addict, it never ends.

For Sue, after we did her eyelid
reshaping, we both agreed she was done.

Any idea how an aspiring actress acquired
the money to pay for all this work?

No, but she always
paid in cash in advance.

All right, well, thank you very much. We'll
just take a copy of her files with us.

Oh, uh...

I'm sorry, my policy is that
patient files never leave the office.

Doctor-client privilege
expires with the patient's death.

Detective, I attend to major movie stars
and practically every prominent family

from Pacific Palisades
to Hancock Park.

Now, if it was to get out that their
cosmetic work might be revealed,

my business would
be irreparably harmed.

- I'm sure you understand this.
- I do. I do.

And if I need to, I will have a
detective return with a warrant.

I'm sure you understand.

So, so far, we can't find
anyone other than the mortician

or the widow who might have
had access to Ray Hodge's coffin.

Okay, what about his office?

Well, there's no time sheets,
but Ray did leave three years

of Insiders Betting Digest.
Pro and College editions.

"PS agreed to payment terms."

But we don't have the
rest of the stupid letter.

What did the doctor say, Chief?

Our victim's name is Sue Emery.

But that name might be as
contrived as everything else about her.

- I'll start a financial workup.
- Sue Emery. Here she is.

Six weeks ago, a complaint was
filed against Sue Emery for extortion.

The alleged victim?

- Raymond Hodge.
- That's our connection.

Emery was blackmailing Hodge.

Chief, Ray Hodge's calendar has
repeated references to a john and pictures.

Now, if Sue Emery was a call girl and
she had photos of herself and a client,

I mean, that could
be the extortion.

And it might explain why she
was paying for her surgery in cash.

Only if Hodge was the one being extorted,
he wouldn't refer to himself as the john.

And according to his wife,

Ray's picking up a hooker
would have been a form of suicide.

Who was the reporting officers?

Lieutenant Tao?

All right. All right, now.

Don't jump to any conclusions.

It was all his fault.

You knew that Ray Hodge
was being extorted by our victim,

- and you said nothing?
- No, no. Now, Chief, listen.

We filed that report, but we never
connected our Jane Doe with Sue Emery

because we never
saw Sue Emery before.

Yeah, Chief. Actually, the first
time we ever laid eyes on Sue Emery

was when she rolled out
of Ray's casket. Okay?

- So now we're all on the same page!
- Yeah, go back a chapter.

How did you two
get involved in this?

- The short version.
- Okay, okay.

So, Ray calls Flynn
a month back...

- No, it was six weeks.
- You know, whatever.

So, anyway, Ray calls Flynn and
he says that he's being extorted

by this Sue Emery
character and...

So, we thought one of Ray's
clients was being extorted.

And Ray didn't want us to
know who he was representing.

But if you look...

- We decided to go with what Ray said.
- Because it's illegal

for the LAPD to run plates or pull
addresses for a private investigator.

But if an ex-LAPD officer
like your friend Ray Hodge

pretended that Sue Emery
was blackmailing him...

Okay, I know this sounds
like we're in a gray area, Chief,

but the good news is we already
know a lot about our victim.

Like.

- Like.
- Like where she lived.

- Right.
- Nichols Canyon.

And she had a partner she
was working with sometimes.

- And dating maybe. Scott something.
- Hauser!

- Scott Hauser.
- Scott Hauser.

Has a criminal record. Beat
up one of his ex-girlfriends.

So who was Ray's client?

The one who was being extorted?
The one for whom Mr. Hodge

substituted his own name
in that bogus criminal report?

- Not a clue.
- Honestly.

All right, you two.

Go find this Scott Hauser
character and bring him in. Now!

And if I find out that you have
held back one teensy, itsy-bitsy

- speck of information...
- Chief, I know you're upset,

but nobody wants to
clear this up more than I do.

Ray was a great guy, and
he shouldn't be remembered

for falling out of a
coffin with a blond bimbo.

I'd like to see the man ushered out
of this world with the proper respect.

Chief, if it weren't for
me dropping that casket,

we wouldn't even know
that this was a murder.

And I wouldn't be a
defendant in a massive lawsuit

brought on by a snobby bride.

Or the number one
download on YouTube!

Talk about your
glass half-empty.

So, the doorbell rings,

Sue Emery gets out of the
shower and goes to answer it,

and she opens it up enough for
the killer to break through the chain,

and he attacks her here,
where the towel falls.

If the murderer is the
john she was extorting,

maybe he ransacks
the place for his photos.

This place rents
for $6,000 a month?

That's like,

eight dollars an hour!

Considering Sue Emery
hadn't filed a W-2 in five years,

she must've been doing something lucrative
on the side to pay for all of this.

Oh, hi. Look here.

Assuming the killer dumped this
out, you'd expect to find prints inside.

Here, here. Wiped clean.

Doesn't mean the killer's
prints aren't in the house,

but if they are, they weren't
left during the murder.

Well, at least we know

where the blanket the body
was wrapped up in came from.

How can people afford
to live in Los Angeles?

Detective, what do
you think of my lipstick?

Are you asking me as
a friend, or the Chief?

Why didn't you
ever say anything?

Same reason I never said
anything about your sweaters.

We found Scott Hauser sitting in
his apartment watching a ball game.

Now, we ran his prints on file

against the ones that Tao
found in Sue Emery's house,

- and they match!
- And you read Mr. Hauser his rights?

He's waiting in
Interview Room 2.

You still don't want to
go into Interview Room 1.

I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson,
but no need to introduce yourself,

Mr. Hauser, 'cause I feel
like I already know you.

Yeah? Why is that,
Chief Johnson?

This afternoon, I found your fingerprints
all over the house of a murder victim.

Your girlfriend. Sue Emery.

Nothing tastes better than
somebody else's wedding cake.

Mine tasted like prison food.

Chief Johnson's interviewing
the killer of Hodge's casket mate.

And is that what I think it is?

Want some?

Does this case have
anything to do with the LAPD?

No.

Then yeah, give me a
big piece from the corner.

Look.

I'd never kill Sue.

I know you guys automatically
suspect boyfriends, but you see,

my relationship with
her was more like

a manager.

- Is that what it's called nowadays?
- Her literary manager, yeah.

- Sue Emery was an author?
- Yes.

You see, she came to me with
a book that she wanted to shop.

This book was worth
probably millions of dollars.

Really? And what was it about?

No, I can't tell you that.

Ah!

And where is it?
The... This book?

- I don't know exactly.
- Okay.

So, just to summarize,
you did not kill Sue Emery

over a priceless book that
you cannot discuss or locate.

That should play real well
with the jury at your murder trial.

Okay, Mr. Hauser,
pretend that I am the DA.

I suggest that Sue Emery
was some kind of call girl.

A high-priced prostitute who
possessed compromising photos

of herself with some client.

Perhaps as her manager,

you helped her pick some
high-value john to blackmail.

Maybe even took
part in the shakedown.

And after she collected the money,
you decided your cut wasn't enough.

And when she wouldn't give
you more, you strangled her.

No. No, I didn't.

Well, give me a name.

Who were you blackmailing?

All right, then. I guess
the only thing left to discuss

is how you got Sue Emery's
body into Ray Hodge's casket.

Now, that's the
million dollar question.

Did you dump the girl's remains
in the casket at the funeral home?

I've never been to
the funeral home.

I don't even know where
that Sheffield place is!

I never said the funeral home was
Sheffield and Eckhart, Mr. Hauser.

- I want an attorney.
- Yes, you do.

Preferably one with
death penalty experience.

- Some cake?
- Thank you, Buzz, but no, thank you.

- It's really good.
- No, no, no. Thanks.

So, are we ready to
press charges on this guy?

No, we don't have
enough evidence yet.

So we'll hold him for
48 hours, release him,

let him think he's
off our radar and...

Oh, my gosh! That
cake smells amazing.

That's what you
get for 30,000 bucks.

Oh, well. They're
hateful people.

Why hold Hauser for two days
if we're just gonna release him?

Because that will give you
and Lieutenant Provenza time

to fill out a warrant to get a
wiretap for Mr. Hauser's phone.

- No!
- A wiretap warrant request?

- You've got to be kidding!
- I mean, that's over 40 pages long!

Do you know how much it's
gonna cost? Two detectives

on alternating 12 hour shifts?
I'm not gonna authorize that!

All right, then. Write me a
letter explaining that I didn't solve

the murder of the naked woman
who rolled out of the detective's casket

because it cost too much.

Fine, but he better have a lot
to say in a short amount of time.

Some unsolicited
advice, Lieutenant Flynn.

If you want that
wiretap approved,

it's essential that you not
only list incriminating evidence,

- but anything that might clear him.
- Exculpatory information? That's easy.

- It is?
- Yes.

We can't prove yet that Scott
Hauser had access to the casket.

He may have suffered serious
financial loss at the death of Sue Emery.

And his fingerprints aren't on
anything connected to the actual murder.

On top of which, I swear, that is the
best frosting I've ever had in my life.

Butter cream with just
a hint of Grand Marnier.

So, me and Flynn are gonna stay up
all night working on some warrant for...

For someone you can say had good
reason not to commit the murder?

Exactly.

- And Buzz?
- Yes, ma'am.

Could you cut me a
nice-sized wedge to go?

And make sure my
piece has a flower on it.

Thank you.

You realize it's after five.

We have three houses
to see before it gets dark,

and you have just spent
half an hour on your mouth.

Well, apparently, there's
a lot to spend time on.

- What do you think of this one?
- That's the best one yet.

- What color is it?
- Reddish-brown.

They're all reddish-brown.

Revlon Super Lustrous.

Do you like my lips?

Like them? I love them.

If you didn't have those lips, I'd be
looking for them on someone else.

Honestly, I think
you look as beautiful

as you've ever looked.

Did I say something wrong?
I said something wrong.

As beautiful as
I've ever looked?

That's almost exactly what
the funeral director said.

Mr. Eckhart.

I was thrown off
when he threw up!

The judge got the
paperwork at 8:00 a.m.

We got the go-ahead on
the wiretap at 8:45 a.m.

Hauser was sprung
exactly 20 minutes ago.

Yeah, he made two phone calls.

One for a massage, one to his
mother who thinks he's in law school.

I hope she's not disappointed
when he takes the bar behind bars.

Chief? Hauser's leaving a message
on his cell phone for someone.

Lieutenant, would you please get a
search warrant for the funeral home?

- For what?
- Pictures.

Here, let me play it back.

About the money, I'll need a
little more than we agreed to.

Actually, twice as much.

I mean, it's the same book, but
now it tells a whole other story.

Meet me at DeFabio's at noon.

- Hello. May I help you?
- No, I'm good. Thanks.

Well, you look great, Jonathan.

What, did you give yourself
a little chemical peel?

The photos.

Have something for me?

All right.

We need to

reach a little
understanding, Jon.

You see, the police,
they have this insane idea,

- that I murdered the woman that I loved.
- You didn't love Sue.

It was all about the
money to you. My money!

And it was just sex to you, Doctor.
Otherwise, you would have married her.

Like you promised her.

A divorce would have left
me financially devastated.

I tried to explain that to Sue.

What, by grabbing her around
the throat and choking her to death?

Okay, now, look.
This is for the book.

Like we agreed.

But if you don't want anyone
else knowing what I know,

I'll expect cash payments.
On a regular basis.

About what you were paying
for Sue's house. That would do it.

You can't blackmail
me over an accident!

Which part was an
accident? Strangling her?

- Or dumping Sue in some guy's casket?
- She wouldn't listen.

She wanted to ruin
me. She said so.

I lost control of my temper
for one second, that's all.

I wonder if the police will
see it the same way, Jon.

No, we won't.

Lieutenant, I know
you've met Mr. Hauser,

but why don't you reacquaint
yourself by reading him his rights?

You would think he would know
them by now. Leave the money.

Detective, thank God!
Thank God, you're here...

You know, that man? He
was trying to blackmail me.

How distressing! Do
you mind if I sit down?

Please.

Beyond the obvious personnel,

I couldn't imagine who else might
have had access to the funeral home.

But then I realized
sometimes it's not enough

to slap a fresh coat of lipstick
on some cadaver's giant mouth.

Now,

to make someone look as
good as they've ever looked,

the skills of a
surgeon are required.

These were recently obtained
from Sheffield and Eckhart.

I can see why they
paid for your services.

And gave you the code
to their security system

so you could come and
go on your own schedule.

Look, Detective, I don't know what
you think happened to Sue, but I have...

We have you on tape, saying
that you murdered her, Doctor.

No, no, no. I was only
saying that I was being...

No, no, no. Please don't say anything else.
This is the fun part. I always like to guess.

Sue Emery and Scott
Hauser were blackmailing you,

so you hired a retired LAPD
officer to act as your go-between.

You were the john that Ray
Hodge said was being extorted.

And when Hodge jotted down,
"PS agreed to payment terms,"

he meant you.

PS stands for plastic
surgeon, doesn't it?

But then Ray Hodge
had a fatal heart attack

and for a limited time only,
you had access to his coffin.

The book, please.

I had been envisioning compromising
photos of a completely different sort.

I had no idea they were gonna
be before and after photos

of your famous clients!

You ended your affair.

And Sue Emery, who
probably thought she loved you,

retaliated by stealing a
book of your finest work.

Lieutenant,

we need to get this book
brought into evidence.

Could you please call Chief
Pope and set up a meeting, please?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

Now, if you don't
mind my being blunt.

You're under arrest
for murder in the first.

I do wanna thank you for
one thing though, Doctor.

That old lipstick color, it
did make my mouth look big.

You gonna press
criminal charges, go ahead.

We'll continue with
our civil lawsuit.

- And we'll bury you in paperwork.
- I see.

And by pressing a legal
action you expect to lose,

you think you will
gain what, exactly?

Well, I'm defending
my family's good name.

And as far as your
threats are concerned,

there isn't a judge in this entire
state that would put my daughter in jail.

Now, which daughter is that?

This one?

Or this one?

- Those pictures are confidential.
- They were.

And then we arrested your
plastic surgeon for murder,

and they became evidence.

I imagine under the
right circumstances,

a judge might be
persuaded to exclude them.

You agree to drop all
charges against Michelle,

and we won't continue
with our civil lawsuit.

Very good. And I think
an apology is in order.

All right. That would be nice.

You thought... Yeah, no.

I need an apology from you, sir.

Written, signed,
distributed to the media.

- That sort of thing.
- No, never, never.

- Never in a million years. Never!
- Daddy.

Write it.

Write it.

Fine! Let's get
out of this hole.

I'm sorry. I almost forgot.

You know, giving this back
to you is almost as sweet as

the icing on your cake.

English -SDH