The Carrie Diaries (2013–2014): Season 2, Episode 7 - I Heard a Rumor - full transcript

Before there was sex,

before there was the city,
there was just me,

Carrie... Carrie Bradshaw
from Castlebury, Connecticut.

Our relationship never stood
a chance

since you never stopped
comparing it to your old one.

Are you regretting breaking
up with Weaver?

No.

- I'm sorry it didn't work out.
- I'm pregnant.

Well, is it mine?

- Maggie, I'm engaged.
- So I'm just on my own?

I don't know what else
to tell you.



(Voice breaking)
What am I gonna do?

You're gonna stay here tonight.

When you wake up, we'll figure
out what your choices are.

I'll be here for you.
I'll help however I can.

I'm happy I took the leap
towards Sebastian,

even if my heart
is in a million pieces.

The Carrie Diaries 02x07
I Heard A Rumor
Originally Aired on December 13, 2013

(Carrie) Joseph Conrad once
said that gossip was something

that no one claims to like,

but everybody enjoys.

And that seemed to be perfectly
true in New York City,

where there are
more daily tabloids

than Ray's Original Pizzas.

And if I was honest,
I really enjoyed it.



♪ Would I lie to you?

Right until I read something
about me.

(Eurythmics)
♪ Now I would say something

"When Adam Weaver,
the wunderkind playwright,

was asked what his next opus
was based on,

he succinctly said,
a play about my ex,

a diminutive, suburbanoseur
who I broke up with."

Ouch.

It sounds even worse
when it's read out loud.

Why would Weaver do this to me?

He called me small.

Tiny, really,

and a phony. I'd be most
pissed off about "suburban."

That's the kiss of death
in Manhattan literary circles.

And P.S....
I broke up with him.

I mean, don't these gossip rags
fact-check?

You should call them
and tell them what's what.

I should.

Except then you'd have to
out yourself

as a diminutive,
suburban poseur.

Then I shouldn't.

(Receiver clatters)

I always dreamed that one day

the literary world
would be talking about me,

but I figured it would be
because they loved

my insightful, provocative,
and well-reviewed novella.

Well, some of your dream
is coming true.

Buck up. You're nobody until
somebody is talking about you.

(Singsongy)
I come bearing gifts!

Well, maybe this will
cheer me up.

Doubtful. When Larissa
says "gifts,"

she usually means
menial, horrible tasks

that will be given to us.
Beep-y things for everyone!

Oh! We're getting pagers.

That is so cool.
I've always wanted a beeper.

It's so "St. Elsewhere,"
being on call, being important.

(Scoffs) Don't kid yourself.

Now we're going to be tied to
Andy like one of his lap dogs.

Scratch that. His dogs
are treated better than this.

Be lucky you're just an intern
and won't get one.

Now Andy expects you all
to be on call 24-slash-7.

- I'm not getting paid enough for this.
- Oh, don't be grumpy.

Oh, and everybody who calls here
for you

will be given
your beeper number

so they can reach you
immediamente.

Oh, God. What's next?
Cellular phones for everyone?

Don't be ridiculous.
That will never happen.

For me?

You, my little lilliputian,
have arrived.

Oh. So you heard about
the "Page Six" piece.

You're getting a pager,
aren't you?

What he said isn't even true.

Not that that matters.

Once a rumor is out there,

that's the only thing
people will believe.

(Indistinct conversations)

(Chuckles) Well, well, well.

Looks like the rumors are true.

Don't believe everything
you hear.

Oh, I don't,
but I also have eyes,

and... you two
look awfully cozy.

Butt out.

Oh, you're still sour.

I would assume snagging the Kydd

would've put a spring
in your step.

Yep, well, you know what
they say about assuming.

I don't, and I don't...
really care.

I wonder what Merry Carrie
would think.

Although I'm guessing
she doesn't have much time

for either of you these days,

so busy
with her fancy Manhattan beau.

Lay off, Donna, all right?

Look at you,
being all protective.

You always are when it comes
to your lady friends.

It's sweet, really.

Just wish it'd been
for an actual lady...

Instead of her.

I will take you...
and enjoy it.

Don't be so touchy.
Got what you wanted, didn't you?

Okay, we have to stop this.

Stop what?

This rumor that we're dating.

I don't care what
those idiots think.

I do.

Not... not about Donna

and all those beady
little eyes on us,

but I-I care about Carrie.

I got the feeling that
she was open to...

I don't know...
maybe... talking,

being friends again.

Look... I didn't wanna
say anything to you

because of everything
you're going through,

but Carrie saw you the night
you slept at my house.

What? How?

I'm not sure.
I-I saw a car driving off,

and when I opened the door,
my jacket was there...

the one I gave her...
like she left it.

Why would she do that?

To... get rid
of the last reminder of me?

I don't know. But in order
to explain to her

why you were there...

I would have to explain
what's going on with me.

You ready to do that?

No.

I'm just gonna have to
figure out what I'm going to do.

What am I gonna do?

Whatever you decide,
I'm here, okay?

(Door bells jingling)

You wanna get a grilled cheese
and chili fries?

We always get that.

Milkshake?

We could mix it up
and add banana.

Nah.

(Sighs)

I'm not even hungry.
(Telephone ringing)

Me either.

We're in a food rut.

Wanna work on our
college applications instead?

Oh, my God.

We are so boring!

No. (Scoffs) No.
We're... (Chuckles)

Totally and completely boring.

- How did this happen?
- We're busy?

Okay, mister, we have only been
dating eight months.

This cannot be our lives...

(Door opens, bells jingle) Eating
at the diner and homework.

We need to add
some spice to our life.

Let's do it in your car.
Stat!

I have to get
to basketball practice.

Right.

Of course. I forgot.

But after practice...

I have S.A.T. prep.

- We're doomed.
- Mouse...

We'll be fine.

No, we are going to better
than fine.

We are going... to be hot!

Hot, hot, hot.

Just not tonight.

(Pager beeping)

- Not again.
- Larissa?

Probably.

Are you gonna call her back?
It could be an emergency.

Oh, like the last call,
when I had to tell her

where her tampons are?
Left drawer.

Or the call before that

for her condoms... right drawer.
Bennet said it.

You know, these pagers...
they're like gilded handcuffs.

Yeah. Bennet's pretty P.O.'d
about it.

He just feels
really underappreciated

at the magazine,

and these beepers
are the last straw.

Well, he's not gonna quit,
is he?

He's threatening to.

His other fantasy is to just
walk right up to Andy

and give him an ultimatum...
promotion or bust.

Well, from what I know
about Andy,

that will not go well.

That's what I'm worried about.

When it comes to work,

you shouldn't draw attention
to yourself

except for the work, you know?

Oh. With all this "Page Six"
drama I'm dealing with,

I totally hear you.

(Pager beeps)

Larissa?

I should probably call her.

Maybe she can't find
her douche.

Ew.

(Indistinct conversations)

Are you sure?

Yeah. I am.

(Exhales deeply)
I have decided to get...

an abortion.

Can you take me
to my appointment?

I-it's totally cool
if you can't.

Stop. I'm taking you.

Always wanted a ride
in that car of yours.

(Larissa) I've been trying
to reach you for ages.

Where have you been?

Uh, class.

Oh, right.
I always forget that.

When do you finish
at that place? This week?

Um, I-it's November,

so I'm... I'm pretty much here
until June.

Is there something you needed?

Uh, yes, yes.

Tristan Cassidy called here
from "Page Six."

He found out you dated Weaver

and is fishing around,
trying to figure out if you are,

and I quote...

"The diminutive, suburban
poseur who got dumped."

Oh, no.
"Oh, no" is right.

I thought you said that all...
all press is good press,

- even bad press.
- It is...

(Lowered voice)
Until Andy's involved.

He can be very touchy

about how he and the magazine
are perceived.

There can be no poseurs
in Andy's world.

- So now what?
- So now...

you either convince "Page Six"
the subject isn't you,

or you face Andy's wrath.

I cannot believe I'm here on
a Saturday, stuffing envelopes.

I don't even make overtime.

I don't even make any money.
I just make cappuccinos.

Which are incredible.

Well, I'm glad
you're enjoying them,

because if I can't convince
Tristan Cassidy

that I am not some poseur,

then that's what I'll be making
for the rest of my life.

Are you going to call him back?

I don't know.

I-I wish I could
talk to him directly, in person,

so he could meet me

and see that I am not the lies
Weaver made up.

I think you should just ignore
the whole thing.

Don't give the guy
more ammunition.

I think you should
set the record straight.

Tell him what's what.

I think we should dump all these
envelopes into the river

and tell Andy we're too good
to be stuffing envelopes

on a weekend.

What am I, the intern?

No offense.

Why do people always say
"No offense"

right after
they've offended you?

I work my butt off,

and Andy won't even give me
a feature to write.

Just blurbs and "Hot Boîtes."
I want more.

Who'd want more than hot butts?

"Hot Boîtes."
It means "Cool Restaurants."

Which was really fun
for the first two years.

But I wanna keep growing
in my job

and not feel
so taken for granted.

That's because Andy knows
he has you.

A boss is like a man.

Once he knows he's got you,

it's like practically giving him
permission to ignore you.

It's like my parents' marriage.
Sounds delightful. (Chuckles)

Not that a man has ever
ignored me.

But if he did,
I would have ten guys lined up

so he would know
he's got competition.

Or at least make it seem
that way.

I think that might work.

I'm just not exactly sure how
to get to these media guys.

I tried cold calling once.
I never heard back from anyone.

You have to meet them
on their field.

Seem like an equal,

and preferably holding alcohol.

Like at the Paris party tonight.

The what?

The Paris party.

Everyone who's invited
puts in 50 bucks,

and at the end of the night,

someone's name is pulled
from the hat,

and that person gets to go
on a trip to Paris

with a friend, all paid for.

Oh. Awesome.

I've always wanted
to go to Paris.

How did I not know about this?

Every fancy artist
and media type will be there.

Well, no wonder
no one appreciates me.

I don't even have my finger
on the social pulse.

Lucky for you, I do.

You wanna go?

Seriously?
You can get us in?

Will Tristan Cassidy be there?

- I'm guessing.
- Oh, well, then I am there.

Well, then let's pack
our bags and get going.

Do you think I should wear
a chapeau?

I wanna look my best
when I get my reputation back.

Mm.

(Samantha) Mm.

When you said
"Spice up our lives,"

I did not think you meant food.

Those tacos were intense.

Oh, that was just phase one

of project
Mucho Caliente Relaciones.

What is this,
a secret military operation?

Keeping our relationship hot
is serious business.

Apparently, chili peppers
increase the libido.

I researched it.

But doesn't planning
all this stuff

take the fun out of it,
makes it less spontaneous?

Oh, I don't think
you'll feel that way

when you see the surprise
I left you in your backpack.

(Chuckles) Not now.

Later.

Okay. Part of the fun of
this is the anticipation.

I read that anticipation
is also an aphrodisiac.

Well, I hope not too much
of one

since I have to head
to basketball practice.

(Chuckles)

- See you at the game?
- I'll be there.

In fact... I can't wait.

See?

Anticipation!

Already making me feel sexy.

Great.
Well, I'll see you later.

Mm-hmm.

Are you ready?

I think so. I just can't
seem to open the door.

There's no rush.

You know, I've always
wanted to be a mom.

Have a family.

You still can.

This doesn't change that.

It's all I've ever imagined,
being a mom.

I'm not like Mouse and Carrie.

I don't have
these... big dreams.

This was my dream.

Not like this, but one day.

And here I am, destroying it.

You don't have to do this.

What are my options?
Raise a kid by myself?

Nobody does that.

Adoption?

Or... your parents
can help you...

No. They would kill me
if they found out.

They can never know,
Sebastian... never.

(Sighs)

(Crying)

I'm so scared.

I'm getting you out of here.

- No, my appointment.
- Not today.

You can't rush this decision.

It's not like I have
a lot of time on this.

I know.

But it can wait a day or two.

I just don't want you to make
a decision you're gonna regret.

Me either.

Do you want me
to take you home?

Can we just drive for a little?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, West.
You got those pages

coach gave us
for the flex offense?

Yeah, sure do.

Awesome.

Can't believe he gave us
all these new plays

right before
our first conference game.

That's why we're doing
these additional practices.

And don't worry. I think it'd be
a cool thing to add to our game.

Mix things up a bit. Says the
guy with a photographic memory.

Faith, Pendleton.
We'll make it work.

All right, see you out there.

Boobs.

(Nouvelle Vague)
♪ When I'm with you, baby ♪

♪ I go out of my head

♪ I just can't get enough ♪

♪ I just can't get enough ♪

♪

This is so exciting.

♪ I just can't get enough ♪

Oh, we're not going in
that way.

Huh?

We're going in this way.

♪

♪ and I just can't seem
to get enough ♪

♪

I thought you knew people.

I do. Alvaro, the busboy.

Hey!
Gracias, Alvaro!

¿Cómo está su niña?

Bien, bien, señorita Samantha.
You are such a sweet girl.

We worked together
a few months back.

He only busboys the best events.
Mm-hmm.

This is terrible idea.
Carrie, you're just going to

add fuel to the story
by addressing it.

And, Bennet, just let your work
be the thing people notice.

You don't need to be
running around a party

like a peacock
asking for attention.

Are you insane?

In order to get ahead,
you need to not just work,

but work it. And, Carrie,

if you don't destroy the idea

that you're some
unimportant poseur,

that rumor will become
the truth

before you even know
what hit you.

Now there is a free trip

to Paris out there
just waiting for us,

not to mention free booze
and some canapé.

So pick up a tray...

And get out there.

Come on. Let's go!

♪

Samantha was right. I had
to face these rumors head-on,

and the people
who had written them.

(Indistinct conversations)

♪ And I just can't seem
to get enough ♪

♪

I just didn't expect to be
face-to-face

with the man
who had started them.

- You okay with that tray?
- Yeah.

Sure. I, uh...
Couldn't find the bar,

so I just grabbed this.

(1933's "Signal To The Heart"
playing)

Can never have
too much champagne, right?

- Yeah.
- And I-I'm here

with people, so...
They're thirsty, too.

Sure. You mind if I...

No, not at all.

Yeah, you know, I think
I might have one, too, now.

(Indistinct conversations)

♪

So how is everything?

It's good.
Yeah, it's good.

You?

Working on my new play,

and "Strange Angels" is...
Is in rehearsals.

We open in about a month.

Oh, and we got, uh,
Andrew McCarthy for the lead.

That's amazing. (Chuckles)

You hadn't heard?

Nope. I've been busy
with stuff.

Oh, well, I'll let you go.

I know you've got
a tray of drinks

to hand out to your...
people. (Chuckles)

Yep. Sure do.

It was great seeing you,
Carrie.

Yeah, you, too.

♪

I am on record saying
this whole thing is a bad idea.

Oh, my God.
There's Tristan Cassidy.

Should I go talk to him?

- No!
- Yes!

What would I say?

- Tristan!
- I'm going.

You...

Tristan! Yoo-hoo!

Tristan, darling.

(Kisses) So good to see you.

You may not remember me,

but we met a few weeks ago
at Odeon.

It was a long night.

Right, right, of course.

Oh, and you remember

my friend Bennet
from "Interview."

Sure. Sure.

Bennet Wilcox,
and this is Walt.

Hey.

Darlings! Oh, mwah! Mwah!
How exciting! You're all here!

You're Tristan Cassidy.

Yes, I am.

Charmed.

♪

Well, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go get a drink.

Mind if I join you?

Not at all.

- It's great seeing you again.
(Bennet) - You, too.

♪

You didn't tell me
you know Tristan Cassidy.

You didn't tell us
about this party.

Oh, this is the hottest ticket
in town.

I certainly wasn't gonna
waste it on you.

Why?

Because you're... you.

And I always see you.

But if you win the trip
to Paris, you must take me.

I insist.

(Chuckles) I would take Walt.

Of course. So predictable.
But what isn't predictable

is that you finagled
a ticket to this.

Very impressed.

Andy always worries
you don't have what it takes

to get all access.

A-Andy thinks that?

(Indistinct conversations)

Well, I... guess
Andy thinks wrong.

Andy is never wrong.

About Bennet, he is.

He didn't just get us
into the party.

He got Carrie and Samantha
in, too.

Bennet's a big deal.
Big.

In fact...

Tristan was just over here

discussing
Bennet's future plans.

(Indistinct conversations)

You wouldn't leave "Interview"
for him, would you?

- I...
- They're talking.

So..

Did you like my surprise?

I did. It was amazing.

Were you shocked?

Not really.
You know what I like.

Yeah. I do.

Although I wish I hadn't
eaten it before the game.

My stomach hurts a little bit.

What do you mean, ate it?

The chocolate bar
you left in my bag.

I didn't leave
a chocolate bar in your bag.

- You didn't?
- No.

I left you a surprise
in your notebook.

Then where was
the chocolate bar from?

That really doesn't matter.

Did you see a picture
in your notebook?

Didn't even look.

Well...

Look now!

Oh, I remember.

I bought that chocolate bar
a few weeks ago.

I do not care about
that stupid chocolate bar.

(Flipping pages)

Do you see it?

No. It must have fallen out
or something.

Maybe it's in here.

Hold this.

It's not in here.

Maybe if you told me
what it was...

It was a picture of me...

Topless.

Oh, no way.
That's awesome.

You need to get focused, buddy.

This is a serious problem
if the photo has gone missing.

Right, right, of course.
(Clears throat)

You need to find that picture

and make sure no one
figures out it's me.

Won't they be able to tell

when they see it's a picture
of... you?

It's just my boobs,
not my face.

Why?

For this very reason!

You need to trace your steps

so we can figure this out.

Where were you last?

The locker room.

(Whispers) No.

(Normal voice) No! No!

I'm on it, I'm on it.

(Gasping)

Boys, boys, boys,

how could you ever think
these were mine?

Way too small.
They're perky, though.

What you looking at?

Fun bags.

Sweet. Whose?

That's what we're trying
to figure out. Wanna see?

(Boys chuckle)

Maybe one of the Jens?

Eh, not them.
They're flat as pancakes.

All right, boys.

Game time.

I wanna see some
heads-up ball out there.

(Boy) Let's go, boys.

(Indistinct conversations)

You comin'?
Be right there.

While West was relieved to know
his crisis was over...

(Horn honks)

I was still trying
to manage mine,

and that meant getting answers
from Weaver.

We meet again.

Yeah, well, it's not such
a big party,

so it's probably inevitable.
And I wanted to talk to you.

Well, I'm always happy
to see you.

Mm-hmm, me, too.

And I'm really glad
that you don't seem

to have any, um,
hard feelings for...

You know, the way we ended.

I don't... at all.
It just didn't work out.

So why did you say those things
about me to "Page Six"?

Were you misquoted?

Not at all.

In fact, I was very careful
about the words I chose.

I'm a wordsmith, after all.

Well, then if you're not mad,
why did you say those things?

In this city, everything is
about perception.

Who was the Victor
and who was the vanquished?

And in order for me
to come out on top,

you had to take the hit.

It wasn't personal.

You can't be serious.

I mean, we were
in a relationship...

an intimate one,
and I-I cared about you.

You cared about me?

Is that why you broke up
with me

and ran right back to that guy,
because you cared about me?

It wasn't like that, really.

♪

(Scoffs) You're just lucky
I didn't name you.

But I can if you want.

(Chuckles) I know
Tristan Cassidy's

been sniffing around
for your name.

And he is right over there.

(Speaking indistinctly)

Well, unlucky for you,
he's talking to my friends.

(Indistinct conversations)

Sorry to interrupt. Um...

Would you like a hot story
on the wunderkind Adam Weaver?

The story he gave you?

Total lie. He...
he's pathological, really.

Every girl dumps him because
he's a needy, insecure bastard.

And he's no wunderkind
in the bedroom, either.

Teeny-tiny. At least...
that's what I've heard.

It's true.

Can I quote you on that?

Definitely.

And you are?

Katja Morningstar.

One of his exes.

(Pager beeps)

Excuse me.

Thank you for the story.

Oh. My pleasure.

(Coin drops)

(Line clicks, dial tone)

(Dials)

(Telephone rings)

Hello?

Sebastian?

Yeah, it's me.

What's going on?

Look, I-I'm sorry
to bother you,

and I wouldn't call
unless it was important.

It's Maggie.
She collapsed.

Sebastian.

What happened?
What... what's wrong with her?

They don't know.
I was taking her home from...

And she just collapsed.
They're running tests now.

Well, I'm sorry it took so long.
There was traffic.

Oh, I'm just grateful
you're here.

I didn't know who else to call.

(Telephone ringing in distance)

You must hate
that I always lean on you.

I don't hate that.

(Woman speaking indistinctly
over P.A.)

So where are her parents?
Did you call them?

Maggie doesn't want them
to know she's here.

What could possibly be going on

that she doesn't want
her parents to know?

I shouldn't say anything.
Maggie doesn't...

I mean...

(Inhales deeply)

She's pregnant?

(Woman speaking indistinctly
over P.A.)

Is she pregnant?

Look, Carrie,

it's not mine. Carrie,
Carrie, it's Simon's.

Wait. What?

Maggie and I... we're not
anything but friends.

She's just been going
through so much,

and... and I wanted
to be there for her.

So... you and Maggie
aren't... dating?

No.

Well, what about
when I came to your house

with... with your jacket?
I...

She was upset and needed
a place to crash. That's it.

(Exhales)

Why... why did you come
that night?

I keep wondering.

(Exhales)

I just...
needed to see you...

To tell you that I missed you.

I miss you, too, so much...

'Cause I love you.

I love you, too.

Bennet doesn't like to brag,
but I'm happy to.

Tristan Cassidy of "Page Six"

was just talking to him
about making a move,

so if any of you
are interested...

And you'd be crazy not to be...

I would make one also.

♪

Very excited.

Can't wait to sit down
with you guys.

Thank you.

Wow! Look at you, Bennet.

Working it.

It wasn't me. It was Walt.
He was amazing.

What happened to peacocks
are beneath you?

I guess I just got angry.

When Larissa was so surprised
to see you here,

it made me realize
they don't appreciate you.

And I realized...
I don't either.

Of course you do.

No, I was thinking
about when I first met you

and how I couldn't even
believe I was meeting the guy

who wrote my favorite column,
"Hot Boîtes."

It was so huge.
And I have to remember that.

You're amazing, and I don't ever wanna take
you for granted. (Camera shutter clicking)

God, I love you.

Aw.

And I love that you were
a peacock for me.

It was so sexy seeing you
strut your stuff.

(Both chuckle)

(Camera shutter clicking)

Okay, that's enough.
Now you're just making me sick,

you're so happy.

(Woman speaking indistinctly
over P.A.)

Carrie.
What is going on?

Where is my baby?

Mrs. Landers...
Mr. Landers?

I'm Sebastian Kydd.

Are you the bastard who took
advantage of my daughter?

I've heard the stories about you
and your no-good father,

using your money
to buy people off.

Well, you're not
gonna buy me off.

Mr. Landers, please, if you could
just listen...

Carrie, don't.

You are a lowlife,
getting my daughter pregnant?

Putting her life at risk?

I'm gonna put my fist
through your face.

Eddie, now is not the time.
We need to find the doctor.

And keeping us in the dark just
so you can cover your own hide?

It's a good thing one
of the nurses who works here

is married to one of my guys
and called us,

did the right thing,
you coward, little punk!

Look, Mr. Landers, I-I know
we're all upset, okay,

but if you could please,
just take a breath.

I have an update. Okay,
these are Maggie's parents.

I'm Eddie Landers,
Chief of Police.

This is my wife Brenda.

It appears your daughter
has an ectopic pregnancy.

What is that?

It means the pregnancy took
in her fallopian tube

instead of in the uterus.

- You can fix it, right?
- She's hemorrhaging,

so we need to operate
immediately,

and it's a pretty long
and invasive surgery.

Until we see how much damage
there is, she's at risk.

How much risk?

Life-threatening.

Oh, my God. My baby.
Can we go see her?

We're prepping her now
for the O.R.,

but, uh, Sally
can take you back.

Why didn't you tell
Maggie's parents the truth,

that you're not the father?

'Cause it's not my story
to tell. It's Maggie's.

But she's in surgery,
fighting for her life.

And she wouldn't want
her parents,

especially her dad, to know
she was involved with Simon.

I promised her.

Do you not understand
what people will think of you?

I know.

But it's not the truth.

I can't stop the rumors,
Carrie.

But you can. I mean, all you
have to do is be honest.

How are we supposed
to be together

if everyone thinks
you knocked up my best friend?

It's not about us right now.

It's about Maggie,
and she needs us.

But what will people think?

I don't give a damn
what people think,

and neither should you.

What took you so long?

I've been playing
a basketball game.

We won, by the way.

I know. I was watching.

So you know I did great
with eight rebounds.

Did you get the picture or not?

I did, and thank you.

So no one saw it.

What a relief.

Well... not exactly.
(Clears throat)

What do you mean?

Some people might have seen it.

How many?

The whole team.

(Gasps)

(Whispers) I can't breathe.
(Gasps)

I can't breathe. But no one
knew who it was. I promise.

How do you know?

Because everyone's
trying to guess who it was.

Well, did they guess me?

Nope.
Your name never came up.

Are you sure?

I need to hear exactly
what was said.

I think Donna said something

about how they were small
but very perky.

Donna was there
in the locker room?

She said my boobs were perky?

And then they were like,
"maybe it was the Jens."

So my name never came up?

Never.

Why?

What do you mean?

Well... do people not think
I could have perky boobs?

Mouse, don't go there.

Now I am just insulted.

(Microphone feedback whines) (Amplified
voice) Hope everybody is ready.

In a few minutes,
I will announce

the winner of our trip
to Paris.

Imagine if one of us
actually won.

Ahh. I suddenly
realized if we did,

I'd have no way of explaining
this to my parents.

And I don't have a passport.
(Chuckles)

Hey, guys.

Carrie's not here.
She's gone.

And your name's gonna be
all over the "Post" tomorrow.

What did she say?

Well, let's just say you might
see the word "diminutive" again,

but this time in reference
to you

and one of your body parts.

But that's a lie.

Like what you said
to "Page Six"?

Doesn't feel so good, does it?

They can't print stuff
about me that isn't true.

Sure they can.

They called you a "Wunderkind,"
didn't they?

(Laughs) (Clink)

Andy heard you were being
sought after by several papers,

and he wants it to stop.

How did he know?

He has eyes everywhere.
That's what makes him so...

Scary?

Is he angry?

Andy's giving you a raise...

and a promotion...
to features editor!

(Laughs)

Oh, my God.
(Clink)

This is the best night of my life.
(Kisses)

(Woman) Quiet down, everyone.
(Microphone feedback whines)

Quiet down.

We have a Paris winner.

Please let it be me,
please let it be moi.

Mademoiselle Carrie Bradshaw,

grab your chapeau and head to
your waiting limo. (Applause)

You are leaving for Paris anon.

She isn't here!
Why isn't she here?

Carrie Bradshaw?

Samantha, you should go.
We're all here because of you.

Really?

Where are you, darling?
(Singsongy) Carrie Bradshaw!

She's right here!
Here she is!

I'm Carrie!

Carrie Bradshaw!

Any word?

(Woman over P.A.) Dr. Kim,
you have a call on line 7.

Dr. Kim, you have a call on line 7.
(Elevator bell dings, doors open)

Look...

I know people will hate me...

and that...
I'm basically a pariah.

But I don't care.

The only thing I care about
is that you know the truth.

The rumors,

the gossip...
it's not real.

That's just noise.

It was such a different
perspective from Weaver's,

where perception
was everything.

But people will always
be looking at you...

and judging.

I know.
I can handle it.

Question is... can you?

Well?

She made it through surgery.

We couldn't save the fallopian
tube, but she's alive.

Well, what does that mean?

It means a future pregnancy

will be a lot more difficult.

- God. Does she know?
- Not yet.

Well, can we see her?
She'll be groggy, but yes.

- Okay, where are her parents?
- They're talking to the surgical team now,

so you guys can head in.

(Woman speaking indistinctly
over P.A.)

You comin'?

Um... yeah. I just have
to do this one thing first.

I'll meet you in there.

(Woman speaking indistinctly
over P.A.)

(Beeping)

(Line rings, click)

(Larissa) - Hello?
- Larissa.

It's me.

Darling!
You should not have left.

- You won the trip to Paris.
- I did?

Samantha took it and went
with the busboy. (Huffs)

Good for her...
and Alvaro. (Chuckles)

♪

I've always wanted
to go to Paris.

Oh, someday, mon amie.
Someday.

Um, well, I-I know
you're busy,

but I just wanted to know if
Tristan Cassidy is still there.

I need to talk to him.

Yeah, he's...
He's right here, my love.

♪

I'm sorry.
What is this all about?

Oh, you're gonna wanna
chat with this one.

She's got Los of dirt.

♪

Hello?

Hi. Uh... this is the girl
who told you

about Adam Weaver
and his penis size.

Oh, right, Katja.

Right. Katja.

Um... well, the thing is,
that isn't really true...

About his manhood.

And I don't think it would be
fair to have a lie out there,

even though
it wouldn't kill Weaver

to have a dose
of his own medicine.

Oh, it's too late, kiddo.

I already called it in.

And if I don't print that,
I've got nothing.

But it's not true.

Well, it's not untrue.

Yes, it is. That's what
"not true" means.

What if I were
to give you something else?

Like what?

Like the name

of Weaver's
diminutive, suburban poseur.

You know who it is?

Yeah.

It's me.
Carrie Bradshaw.

I thought your name was Katja.

Well, I lied.

Well, how do I know

you're telling the truth, then?

Didn't you see how tiny I am?

That's a good point.

All right,
I'm gonna go with it.

Okay. Good.

But I gotta ask you,

why the hell
are you giving yourself up?

At the end of the day,
it's just words.

I had to give myself up,

but it was worth it to know
I didn't sell someone else out

to save my own skin.

Hi.

Hi.

I hope it's okay that I'm here.

It's more than okay.

I'm so sorry, Mags.

I'm here for you, always.

Whatever you need.

Right now I would...
just love it

if you guys would sit here
with me.

(Indistinct conversations)

Hello, boys.
(Door bells jingle)

(Fabric flaps)

Whoa.
That's right.

They're mine.

(Door bells jingle)

That's my girl.

(Laughter) Look at you, dude.

There are so many soirees
now in the city.

It's hard to keep up.

I know. Every week
a different charity event.

They wrote about one last night

where someone won a trip
to Paris.

Isn't that gauche?
(Newspaper thuds)

These events should be
to give back, not to take.

I see what you mean.

('Til Tuesday's "Voices Carry"
playing)

Do you?

♪ I'm in the dark,
I'd like to read his mind ♪

♪ but I'm frightened
of the things I might find ♪

♪ Oh, there must be something
he's thinking of ♪

♪ to tear him away

the doctor told me if you
hadn't brought her here,

she might have died.

So I am grateful.

But from now on...

You stay away from her.

I'm telling you, son,

do not test me, or so help me,

you will find yourself
in a world of hurt.

♪ Voices carry

now get the hell outta here.

♪ Hush, hush

♪ keep it down now

♪ voices carry

♪ hush, hush

♪ keep it down now

♪ voices carry

♪ oh, hush, hush

♪ shut up now

♪ voices carry

♪ oh, oh, hush, hush

I love you,

and I know
you're a good person...

the best, really...

and that's all that matters.

♪ Hush, darling

Everything else is just noise.

♪

♪ hush, hush

♪ voices carry

♪ hush, hush

♪ voices carry

♪ voices carry