The Carbonaro Effect (2014–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Soliciting Statue - full transcript

♪

So, we're in an antique shop.

So, it's a little low-key,

but I suspect that we are
gonna get a ton of people

because the tribal false faces
are back in stock, everybody!

You looking around?
You see anything you like?

Yeah, right for starters,

I'm looking for some
Chicago Fair memorabilia.

This is from
the World's Fair.

-Is it?
-Yeah, 1933. This was a --

Yeah, it was part of the
Century of Progress exhibit.



This is the...

-Century of Progress?
-Mm-hmm.

That was known as
an auto-arranger closet.

So, we've been at this for
a few days and then this, uh...

So, it's still
in good condition.

Well, it's funny you say that
'cause I actually was --

I'm not trying it with the
vintage clothes, 'cause...

Uh-huh.

But the -- We can just grab
a bunch of this stuff from here.

If you take --

You would throw this, like --
It was almost the first hamper.

You'd just throw
your clothes

into the bottom
of your wardrobe,

you know, you have
your shoes untied.



You just kick 'em off
and throw 'em in.

You know, then, it would've been
laced boots back then, you know?

Definitely still
the same kind of laces.

So, if this
will not snag,

that goes --

And if I turn --
[ Rattling ]

"Organizes..."

"Organize three times
counter-clockwise."

I'm gonna have to fight it
a little.

You don't have to hold
the handle,

but I've been having
to hold the handle.

Pull back, yeah.

And it hangs 'em.

Wow!

It straightened
the shoes out, too!

Yeah, yeah, it does the --
You know?

It does a little --
ties 'em.

Did it tie the shoe?
Yeah, it ties the shoes.

I know.
That's exactly what I thought.

Well, you know what else
they had, too, was the --

There's one setting on it that
would do a, like, outfit match.

That's -- You would put your
clothes together like that.

And outfit match --
This would stay at the top.

And because, you know, clothes
have different weights --

So your frock, you know,
would be heavier.

So, let me see
if I can grab it.

[ Rattling ]

You go this way,
and it would supposedly

put, like,
an outfit together.

Whoop. Wait.
That's locked.

Hold on.

Shoot.
Let me try and open this.

[ Rattling continues ]

All right.
I gotta grab this piece.

This is like a -- If I can get
that piece out -- Okay.

If that -- Whoa!

Whoop. Okay. Wait.
My arm's in the gear.

Let me help you.
No, I got it, I got it.

I'll just take --
Okay, hold on.

[ Rattling stops ]

Okay, well, it used my coat
to make an outfit on this piece.

'Cause that pulls this up.

This thing is --

I can't believe I walked in here
today and saw this

and it actually does this.

I'm looking for some
wooden side tables.

Okay, there's this table.

Here. I'll bring it over here
so you can see it.

-We're gonna refinish it.
-Oh, okay.

So, if you look around here,
we could have that ready,

you know, in a day.

Uh, it's really beautiful.

This beautiful woman who used to
come here, Mrs. Wilkinson...

Uh-huh. Ohh.
...she just donated
a bunch of her stuff.

So, this was her husband's
side table.

So, he passed.

So she donated it.
And so we're gonna refur--

Oh.
Oh, yeah.

She got some stuff in there.
Oh, that's cute. That's her.

That's Mrs. Wilkinson.
I should give that to her.

This is like an old glove,
and --

Oh, she said he loved
to eat these. Cheese balls.

-That's so cute.
-Oh, wow.

I don't know
if I should save these.

-You think she'd want that?
-Well, it's just like -- Wow.

I mean, it's just --
It's so personable and --

Yeah.
Maybe I'll put them aside.

But definitely, uh...
You know. Batteries and..

This picture.
The picture, yeah.

I mean, this could be framed
and all of that stuff.

Yeah, she's probably
gonna be excited to learn

that he had a picture of her
in his night table.

Man, I'm gonna have to call up
here and see what happened!

This has definitely been redone.
The plastic, you can see.

But it's solid wood, and
so it slides wood into wood,

which is the best way
to do it.

You feel that --
Go ahead and pull that out.

You can feel how it -- it slides
really nicely without traction.

Oh.
Oh, what's that?

[ Laughs ]
What is that?

This is like a...
What is --

Oh, yeah. This is -- I should
probably give this to her.

What is this stuff?

Oh, wow!

Okay. Maybe I won't.

Oh, wow. This is...

Yeah, it must've been stuck
inside the lid or something.

Wow!

That was so strange,
because...
Yes, it was.

This little thing. I was trying
to shove it in there.

Look on the other side.

Oh.

Gosh.
She had his -- Wow!

Oh, my gosh!

Wow. Where did they...

You were like,
"Let me keep some."

Are they getting stuck
in there?

Oh, my God.
They're still good.

[ Laughs ] No.

I'm gonna get a little bin
to put 'em in.
Okay.

You hang out right there
for a second.

-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-I'll put it all with her --

You know, all of his
personal stuff.

-Right.
-Separate file.

-Hello.
-Hi.

How are you doing?

I'm doing well.
How are you?

I'm doing good.

-Good.
-Welcome.

I just wanna see
how much this...

Wow!

Where's this --
Where'd you get this?

I was just carrying him
like, "Let me see --"

'Cause my mom gave it to me,
and I was just like,

"Looks kinda old.
Maybe it's worth something."

You know, this one with
the blue in its ears,

'cause these -- It's hard
to find them in a set.

I know why he sent you over
here, 'cause I have the...

[ Gasps ]

I have
the girl-bunny version.

-Is that the same exact one?
-I think so.

I mean, yeah,
it looks exactly the same.

Let me pull it out
for you.

[ Gasps ]

All right. Look at you.

Yes, see? Look at that.

Oh, my God!
Yep.

That looks like the same one,
but in pink!

Yeah, that's right.
That's the little-girl version.

They're worth much more
as a set.

This one, you know,
we were gonna sell it

for like
38 bucks or 40 bucks.
Okay.

But if they came --
If the come together,

you know, then you can
probably get 200 bucks...

Oh, wow.
...for a set of them
together, so...

How much do you think the
blue's just worth by alone?

By itself,
probably the same thing.

40 bucks.
Maybe 40 bucks, yeah.

And you can see because
of the cracked pattern...

It's almost the same.
Yeah!

That would happen with
this type of ceramic.

That's --
Well, here. I'll show you.

Let me keep --
Say goodbye.

-Bye! Okay. [ Laughs ]
-Bye. [ Laughs ]

All right.
Put it inside there.
What a small world.

Yeah, that finish you see there
that's cracked like that?

Let me see yours.
[ Gasps ]

Oh.

My -- Oh!

[ Gasps ]
I'm sorry.

Did I lock him in there?
I didn't even see I did that.

Oh, my God. I'm literally
freaked out right now.

Why are you freaked out?

'Cause you didn't
put that in there!

I got confused. I was talking
about the texture. I didn't --

This one doesn't have, like,
writing on the bottom of it.

But if you see it has that,
it would be worth more.

I guess the female set
has the one with --

Oh, my God!

Oh!

Okay, I just -- I just --
Now I believe you.

Oh, my God.
I'm literally freaking out.

Don't be freaked out.
Can I get my boss for a second?

-'Cause that --
-I'm going with you.

I'm not staying here.

I didn't see it
the first time.

I didn't believe you.
I was like, "What?" Wow.

That literally is
freaking me out right now.

That is just so bizarre.

Here, let me --
Let me unlock 'em.

[ Door rattles ]

And tell you what -- Here.

Ugh.

Stop.
[ Chuckles softly ]

Okay, I'll let you
just keep yours.

How about you just have
both of them in your hands?

-Can you do that?
-Did you wanna just take yours?

-Yeah.
-Okay.

Can you --
Who is your manager?

Sure. Do you wanna
go home with the --

I don't know what we do
with the ch-children.

Oh, my God.

I'm literally gonna have
an anxiety attack right now.

Okay. Let me --
Let me call my manager.

We'll leave --
I'll leave 'em in here.

All right.
You want me to get him?

-Do you wanna --
-Can you verbally call --

-Do you wanna come with me?
-No.

I'll get him.
Hold on.

That is...

I'm gonna have
a heart attack.

Oh, my God.

All right. Hold on. Rick's
gonna -- He's gonna come down.

That was
really strange.

Michael: Okay.

Wow.

So you're not gonna want
to sell yours today?

No, I just wanted to see --
I just wanted to see how --

Can you bring it back,
though?

-You want me to?
-Yeah.

Okay, I'll bring --
You want yours.

The blue --
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-And do you want the chi--
-No, I don't want. I --

Are you sure? I feel bad
'cause I wouldn't have had them

if you didn't bring...

No, no, no, no, no.
Um, can I --

No, no, no, no, no.
Just bring...

-Just this?
-Yeah, yeah, um...

All right.
Here. You just take yours.

Can you move it,
like, shake it?

'Cause I'm just
tweaking or something.

Don't tweak.
Don't tweak, don't tweak.

Here, you keep --
You can keep him.

It's probably what happens
with the porcelain.

That can -- It can cause
the Carbonaro Effect.

If they're from
the same set...
Okay.

...when the porcelain
comes together, if it's
from the same piece.

Have you heard of that before --
the Carbonaro Effect?

-No. No.
-No?

"The Carbonaro Effect" --
it's the name

of a hidden-camera, magic TV
show that you're on right now.

Wait. What?

I'm a magician.

-Are you kidding?
-I'm not kidding you.

Are you being --
Is this serious?
I'm serious.

What if I told you we were
shooting a TV show right now?

-No, you're not.
-Yes, we are.

-No, you're not. No, you're not.
-Yeah, we are.

Look, see. There's a
hidden camera right up there.

Do you see that camera
right there?

Oh, my God!
Are you serious?

You see my microphone
right there?

[ Gasps ] [ Laughs ]
Why would you do this to me?

Oh, my God!

What were you thinking?

I knew I was not --
Oh, my God.

Are you being serious
right now?

I'm totally serious, yeah.
Oh, my God.

-I'm Michael Carbonaro.
-Pleased to meet you!

I have a TV show called
"The Carbonaro Effect."

-Oh, my God.
-It's a magic show.

Oh, my God.
You did such a good job!

Oh, my God.

How did you get this
over there?

Well, t-they're
magic bunnies.

Oh, my God!

♪

This is the plan.

People are gonna shop.
They're gonna come up.

And I'm gonna check 'em out,

and, uh, see what I can
make up with, uh, groceries.

Michael: Find everything
okay today?

-Yeah, yeah.
-Excellent. Good.

Have you tasted
this stuff before?

Uh, no, I just --

-It's really tasty.
-Yeah, yeah, I like it.

Ooh.
Well, that's weird.

Why is that...?

[ Chuckles ]

Oh. Uh...

Let me check the date.

Oh, this is --
What is today, the 11th?

-Today? Yeah, it's expired?
-Yeah, it says the 11th.

No, no, it's doesn't
have an expiration.

It says, "Sell after."
Oh, sell after...

Sell after the 12th,
so that's tomorrow.
Oh.

This isn't technically ready
till tomorrow.

Oh, I see.

Is that okay?
I'll show you.

Oh, you can take the...

Yeah,
just so you can see.

If it's early --

Yeah, if it's too early,
it's gonna be...

One more day,
they'll be okay.

Are you sure --
What is that?

This is
the active cultures.

You know, the yogurt has
active cultures in it?

So, this isn't that active.
I mean, they're moving a bit.

See, look.

Sometimes it just takes
a little shake, and then --

Yeah, see? Okay.

Yeah, that's set up.
That's set up now.

So, that'll be okay.

Am I seeing something?
Like some sort of...

Something what?

I'm sleeping or something.

What?

How come --
Did you change it?

See, the cultures
will be active

up until their
sell-after date.
Oh.

So, sometimes they just
need a little shake

to, you know,
break down into yogurt.

Because
it's organic, or...?

Yeah, it's got probiotics in it,
living cultures.

It's really good
for your body. See?

And it's really good
when it's just set up.

-[ Laughing ] No, no.
-You don't want to?

It's the best time to have it.
It's really natural. No?

I'm gonna do it.
Do you mind?

No. Go ahead, yeah, yeah.

-Is that okay?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mmm. Right when it sets up,
it's the best.

Would you like
another one, or --

Well, 'cause I ate
out of this one.

I mean,
I'm fine, actually.

Yeah, 'cause the air
gets inside there.
Yeah.

So you wanna
leave that sealed.

'Cause if it jitters around,
see what'll happen?

You know?

They'll turn back, okay?

So, you don't wanna eat it
when it's in that state, okay?

-No, I didn't know.
-You know, if you wanted --

Don't eat it in the car
'cause, you know,

you can hit a bump and it
would turn while you're...

-Yeah, yeah, I know.
-Okay.

Uh, I'll get you one
that's maybe already,

uh, that's already setup into
yogurt for a couple days now,

so it won't turn back.
Okay.

And a watermelon here.
Oh, you know what?

Let me clean this watermelon off
for you a little bit.

Yes.
Okay?

They get so, so dirty
sometimes.

You are very kind.

Oh, thank you very much.
You are very kind.

Because, you know, all those
pesticides and stuff --

these things, they get very,
very dirty quickly, you know?

Yes. Yeah.
You good?

And I'll clean that off,

'cause these grow pretty close
to the ground.

Yes.
It's a ground melon,
so it's...

Oh!
Good that you did that!

-Yes. Very, very dirty.
-Yes.

It's amazing how much
can be on that little thing.

Yes, you are right.
'Cause the skin
looks very clean.

And put a...

Here. I'll do this.
We'll do it together.

Here, you want to...?
Yeah.

And on the other side.

Look. Look at that.
That was a real dirty one.

-No, no.
-No, no.

These grow very close
to the ground.
Yes.

So, let -- let me
check that for you.

Yeah.

Let me just check
the inside here.

Oh!

[ Gasps ] You see?

It's very -- That'll happen
with the little ones.

It's very dirty.

You have to show them
about that.

Yeah.
Keep it.

I'll keep it.
Keep it and show them.

Okay, I'll have them bring you
a clean one when you step out.

-That's incredible!
-Yeah.

No...is a way to tell them
about that.

Yeah. I got a cleanup
on aisle nine!

Dirt melon!

-Hello.
-Hi.

How are you doing today?
Doing good?

Produce.

Oh, so, you're
getting a pineapple.

There's a coupon for that.
You have the circular?

-Is this it?
-Yeah.

Uh, and your name is?

-It's Michael.
-Michael?

Okay, and what, um --

Oh, yeah.
What's your, uh --

You know
your astrological sign?

Yeah, Aquarius.

Aquarius? Okay.
Let me see.

As in,
"The Age of..."

I know there's a thing on --

Uh, Thursday Special.

[ Laughs ]

Yeah. Yeah.
This'll work, right?

-Did you see that?
-No.

You didn't see that?
Like, just look at that.

-Yeah. I cut that out for you.
-Can you just look at that?

-Yeah. "Aquarius named Michael."
-Wait.

You get $5 --
It's cash back.

-Okay.
-It's cash back.

Okay.
How did that happen?

Yeah.

-I'm pretty -- What?
-What?

No, it's funny
'cause that's my name

and it's like --
That's really funny.

Oh yeah, I know.

The corporate dude is,
like, really superstitious.

That's kinda funny.
Oh, okay, that'll work.

So, he does one on, like,
every day of the week.

There's always one
in the circular.

-Okay. Got you.
-It got your name right [bleep]

So, Aquarius.
You're Aquarius for real?

-Yeah.
-You didn't look at that, right?

No, I didn't look at it at all.
Here, I'll show you my -- Here.

February 16th. That's --
February 18th is the end.

Okay, yep.

Okay, Aquarius named Michael.
Receive $5 cash back.

All right.
I gotta do that. Um...

[ Laughing ]

-Is your mind blown right now?
-Yeah, okay.

"With the purchase of a
pineapple." Did you see?

-Let me see, yeah.
-I didn't know that.

♪

What were you doing here?
You're...

Um, because the tip jar's out,
I blew three times.

-For her?
-Yes.

This is a statue.

What the...?

♪

♪

Is your job this fun?

Let's do something crazy.

Okay, man,
this is the play today.

We're at the Navy Pier
trying something new.

We have two marks that are
both gonna arrive separately.

I'm gonna give them both
security-guard jobs

but with very different
responsibilities.

We'll throw in
a little bit of magic,

and I have no idea what is going
to happen, but wish me luck.

♪

-Hey. How you doing?
-I'm good. Thank you.

-Good. What's your name?
-Susan.

-Hi, Susan.
-Nice to meet you.

All right.
Nice to meet you, too.

Thanks for jumping in
for us today.

Okay, sure.

All right. Here's the issue --
street performers.
Okay.

We have a real problem
with them here, okay?

Are they allowed here?

They are allowed here.
Okay.

They're not allowed
to solicit tips, okay?
I see.

So at this time of day,
you know,

it's been a long day,
they've been out there.

They're allowed
to accept tips,

but they can't ask
the public for tips.
I see.

Certainly can't put out a tip
jar or anything like that.

Okay.
So, Susan, you don't mind

being a little forceful,
do you, if you have to?
No, I don't mind.

-Okay. I'll give you a whistle.
-Okay.

That's actually
the easy way to do it.

Here. Come on over here.
'Cause I'm a bartender, too,

and I know I can't put out
tip jars sometimes,

'cause I don't
break the rules.
Oh, there you go.

Well, you know what it is? With
the pier, you know, we pay them.

So they are being paid
to be here, so...

Oh, they are
being paid, okay.

And it's okay if someone
wants to tip them,

but we don't want
our patrons to feel...

Feel like they're
obligated to, yeah.
...they have to, yeah.

I'll show you, actually.
Come on, Susan. Yeah.

The one thing I'd ask
that you do --

it's just because they've signed
something about their consent.

You start with the tweet.
Start with that.

Because what happens is if we
get too friendly with them --

"Oh, I wanna ask you to do this,
I wanna ask you..."

they just kinda feel like
they can keep doing it

and they'll always
be treated friendly.
I'll keep an eye on this.

So, you could
be right here,

and just stay behind this
station if you don't mind.

-Stay back here, okay.
-Right.

Start with always
the whistle first.
Okay.

And then you can get forceful
and say, "Please put it away."

'Cause they're aware
of all this.
Yes.

They know all this stuff, okay.
Okay, gotcha, gotcha.

Yes. Exactly right.
Okay, good.

So, I'll check in with you
in a little bit.

I'm just gonna get some
other people set up, okay?

Thank you.
All right.

Okay, so, that's Susan.

The other mark is
supposed to be on his way,

and I'm going to go
set him up now.

-Martin? Nice to meet you, man.
-Nice to meet you.

All right. Great. Thanks
for helping us out today.

Yes, um, okay.
Here's the thing.

Street performers --
we love them here.

And we just wanna make sure

that people treat them
with respect,

so we always keep people out
monitoring them, okay?

All right.

So just for today, I'll give you
an official ID, okay?

-Okay.
-Let's see.

Okay, this is a --
a special ID.

In case anybody
gives you any trouble,

you just show them this,
and they will leave you be.

Okay.
Okay?

All right, so, good.

Do you have, uh --
Keep that safe inside there.

There you go.
Just put it in your pocket.

Great.
There you go.

Okay, here.
Come on over here.

Okay.
So, Martin has his security ID.

Susan thinks it's her job

to stop street performers
from soliciting tips,

and Martin thinks it's his job

to stop people from
harassing street performers.

Okay? Got it?

Susan,
how we doing out there?

I'm doing good.

Okay, this is
the busiest time of day,

so just make sure nobody's
breaking the rules, okay?

Okay.
I'll keep an eye out.

Oh. Is that a tip jar?

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Whistle blows three times ]

Miss, I'm sorry, but you're
gonna have to leave the pier.

[ Whistle blows three times ]

[ Whistle blows ]
Hey, we got somebody

who's bothering a,
uh, street performer.

Just firmly tell 'em.
Would you mind?

Tell her to leave,
okay?

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Whistle blows three times ]

Is that her?

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Whistle blows three times ]

Michael: She's in a yellow vest
blowing a whistle.

Get her outta here.

[ Whistle blows three times ]

Ma'am, I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.

Huh?
I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.

Me?
Yes.
Or her?

You.
Why?

They just told me
I have to tell you

you have to get out
of the premises.

Me? Why?
What happened?

We're gonna have to ask you
to go to the front.

Oh, my things
are back here.

Well, you can
get them afterwards.

Wait. What happened?

Hey, Susan, I heard
a little whistle blowing.

Is everything okay?

I'm told I have to
leave the premises.

From who?

From another security guy
out here.

Another security g--

Ask to see his ID.

I need to see your ID.

I have ID.

[ Sighs ]
I don't understand.

I'm very confused.

Another security guy
who doesn't have an ID

is telling me I have to
leave the park.

Hold up.
I don't know where he put it.

Oh, we're all getting
thrown out of here.

Just hang on.
I'm on my way.

-Hey, what's going on?
-Is that her?

Yeah, that's her, yeah.
Yeah, I'll come with you.

Come on.
And then, where...?

He said
that I have to leave.

Michael: Are you --
Wait. Hold on a second.

You guys come here
a second.

I'm confused.

Let's get to the bottom
of this here.

I'm very...
I'm confused.

I am too.

Wait. Okay, so what
happened with you?

I was blowing the whistle
for three times,

and then I was letting you know
that she's not responding.

And then this gentleman came up
and said that I have to leave.

-Did you show her ID?
-I -- I don't have it.

-Did you --
-I don't know where it went.

Oh, man,
oh, man, oh man.

It's not in there anymore.
I don't know where it's at.

I'm trying to find it.
It's here.

I'm very confused.

Okay. And what were you
doing here? You're --

Um, because the tip jar's out,
I blew three times.

For her?
Yes.

This is a statue.

What the...?

♪

Michael: Let's get to
the bottom of this here.

I'm very...
I'm confused.

I am too.

Wait. Okay, so what
happened with you?

I was blowing the whistle
for three times,

and then I was letting you know
that she's not responding.

And then this gentleman came up
and said that I have to leave.

-Did you show her ID?
-I -- I don't have it.

-Did you --
-I don't know where it went.

Oh, man,
oh, man, oh man.

It's not in there anymore.
I don't know where it's at.

I'm trying to find it.
It's here.

I'm very confused.

Okay. And what were you
doing here? You're --

Um, because the tip jar's out,
I blew three times.

For her?
Yes.

This is a statue.

No, it's not.
I saw her moving around.

What? No, this is --
This is a --

[ Wooden knocking ]
It's a statue.

Yeah, that's why I was like,
"What is she doing?"

She's been moving around
this whole time!

She --
You saw this one moving?

Yeah, she's been
moving around!

How do you think she got money
in her tip jar?

Okay. Wait.
And you're story is what?

I told her to leave,
because you said

there was a lady with a vest --
to leave.

Oh, no, I heard that
there was a performer.

-Oh, my God. This is so...
-Okay, you know what this is?

The whole --
The reason this happened --

this whole area
is under jurisdiction

from
"The Carbonaro Effect."

What?

-Do you know what that is?
-No.

Oh, oh.
"The Carbonaro Effect."

It's a hidden-camera,
magic TV show.

Oh, my God. I know she was
moving the whole time!

I never saw her leave!

Oh, my God!
I was watching her!
You're kidding me.

And you -- I made
your ID disappear.

You were like,
"Where's my ID?"

Yeah, I was like,
"What the hell is going on?"

I was trying to
juggle the walkies

and talk to both of you
through the cameras.

-Wow.
-Oh, you scared me!

-I'm Michael Carbonaro.
-Oh, my -- Okay.

-Susan, I'm Michael Carbonaro.
-Nice to meet you.

The show is called
"The Carbonaro Effect,"

and I hope I didn't keep you
in hot water too long.

No, it's okay.

-And you're okay?
-My heart's beating so...

No, you were so good!
You were so great.

-Oh, my God.
-You did such a great job.

I was like, "This woman's
pretty good, but she's
just defying me!"