The Brokenwood Mysteries (2014–…): Season 6, Episode 1 - The Power of Steam - full transcript

(RELAXED ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

(DOG PANTS)

(swans)

Did your mother know best when she
left me in charge of you? (DOG WHINES)

Yeah, that's what I thought.

(EERIE MUSIC)

Evening!
Why, it is indeed, sir! (CHUCKLES)

(HORN HONKS RAPIDLY)

Good morrow! (DOG BARKS) OK.

(PANTS) This town gets weirder every year.
Yeah. Steampunk is, Mike.

Not really my thing, but you've got to
admire the creativity, I guess. Mm.



I never picked you to be a corgi guy.
Friend of a friend.

Oh, yeah.

I'm about to head out to the
lookout. Wanna join me?

Oh, I'd love to, but he struggles
with the hills. You know, short legs.

OK. (CHUCKLES) Hey, corgis are cute.

But look out, cos they're one of
the more deadlier breeds. Ciao!

- Come on. Yah!
- (DOG PANTS)

(FUNKY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

# I met her in the comic shop.
My heart started bumping.

# She saw me with her camera eye.
Her pistons were pumping.

# My girlfriend is a robot-
a mechanical dream.

# Her coals glowed hot,
burning love into steam.

# I made her cogs and knobs
and gears all go a-clatter,

# cos I'm her man
made of organic matter. #



(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Thank you! Thank you. And now,
please welcome our leader -

Ace Dirigible Pilot,
Captain J.R. Brocklesby!

(CHEERING) Thank you!
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK SCREECHES)

Salutations, all!

And welcome to the annual Brokenwood
Aeronaut Steampunk Convivial.

Huzzah!
ALL: Huzzah!

I wish to offer my heartfelt gratitude to Mrs
Winsley, for providing such sumptuous vittles.

(CHEERING)

And, of course, to Dr Devious for his
devilish libation. (RAPTUROUS CHEERING)

As you know, each year, we fundraise to take us all
down to the Grand Steampunk Festival in Oamaru,

and ifs a wonderful time.

Lord knows it's expensive too.
So this year, I decree

that the Brokenwood Aeronauts will not be
launching an official contingent to the festival.

(CROWD MUTTERS) Fear not, my friends.
All is not lost. No.

To elaborate, I'd like to invite
the town big bug -

the Right Honourable Mr Neil Bloom!
(LAUGHS, APPLAUDS) Come on here! Yes!

(CROWD MUTTERS SOFTLY)

Gosh, look at you. (CHUCKLES) (MICROPHONE
FEEDBACK SCREECHES) Uh, thank you, Alden.

I have to admit, I don't fully understand what, uh,
steampunk is, (CHUCKLES) or what's going on here,

but I have it on good authority from
my nephew, Bart, that is a lot of fun,

and I'm assured by Captain Brocklesby
that it celebrates diversity.

Oh, absolutely.

And if Brokenwood is to be known for
one thing, it should be inclusiveness.

(CROWD EXCLAIMS IN AGREEMENT) Which is why
the District Council has agreed to support

the first ever official
Brokenwood Steampunk Festival!

(ALL CHEER)

Magnificent news! Magnificent news, and hear me
- it shall be bigger, better, grander by far!

(CHEERING INTENSIFIES) We shall
be the talk of all things steam.

The Brokenwood Aeronauts shall reign
supreme! Huzzah! CROWD: Huzzah!

Now, let's all get slaughtered!
(CHEERING, WHISTLING)

This one's called 'Steampunk
The Funk.' A-one, two, three, four!

(ENERGETIC FUNK MUSIC PLAYS)

These fireworks, ladies and gents,

have been banned in 50 countries!

Smuggled into New Zealand for the Chinese New
Year! Extremely dangerous in the wrong hands.

Oh, just bloody get on with it. Sorry for
trying to create a sense of occasion, Eric!

(FUSE HISSES)

- (FUSE FIZZLES)
- (ALL GROAN)

Oh, dammit.
Wait. Wait.

(CROWD MUTTERS)

(DOOR CLATTERS)

You!

(DOOR SLAMS)

- (FIREWORK SQUEALS, EXPLODES)
- (CHEERING, LAUGHTER)

(DOG WHIMPERS)
Just go.

I promise I'm not watching.

(FIREWORKS SQUEAL)

(BOOM!)

(DOOR SQUEAKS)

(CLANG!)

This one's gonna be a doozy!

- (BOOM!) - (CHEERING, LAUGHTER)
- (FIREWORK CRACKLES)

(WATER TRICKLES)

(WHIMPERS)

Oh- Oh my God.
Don't look at me!

- (BOOM!)
- (CROWD SCREAMS)

(EXPLOSION ECHOES)

(DOG WHIMPERS)

(DOG BARKS)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(DOG BARKS)

Alden! Hey. Alden. Hey. Hey!
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Oh my God. Alden?

(SCREAMS) Alden! (SHRIEKS)

(EERIE ROCK MUSIC)

Captions made with the
support of NZ On Air.

(GRAVEL SCRATCHES)

(HANDBRAKE CLICKS)

(CAR DOOR SHUTS) Typical. Just finishing
up a lovely Sunday roast lamb.

Ooh. The Roxy Special. Breen
Special, actually. Ooh.

You?
Oh, nothing fancy.

Can of soup. Ooh. You been on the soups
a lot since you and Kahu broke up.

You should come around after. There's
leftovers. As I have already explained,

Kahu and I haven't broken up. Right.
You're just not seeing each other.

(SIGHS) He's 60 miles off-shore working on an oil
rig, and I don't do long-distance relationships.

Got it.
Ooh.

I see budget cuts have really hit the
dog section this year. (DOG WHIMPERS)

Belongs to the senior. He's just
round the corner. Mike's got a dog?

That's a mid-life crisis. (SCOFFS) It's a corgi.
Hardly the sports car of the canine world.

(EERIE MUSIC)

(EXTINGUISHER HISSES)

(SIGHS) I think I might pass on
the roast lamb. Yeah, copy that.

Oh, hold up. We've got a biohazard.

So far, one confirmed fatality -
a Lionel Bridges.

Another male rushed to hospital
in serious condition.

The hell happened here?
Steampunk Club party thing.

Portaloo exploded.
Do we know what caused it?

Suspected gas leak.
(SCOFFS)

What? Didn't say anything. There
was a propane gas bottle visible,

but we can't get in there until the
hazmat team have deemed the area safe.

You should walk in single file. Less
chance of stepping on another mine.

I... highly doubt a landmine
caused this.

What else? Uh, probably quite
a few things. Such as?

Well, that's what we're here
to investigate.

But no answers yet, so you should
consider the worst case scenario.

In Russia, there is a saying -

'Life is like a landmine.'

'Life is like a landmine...'

Every step you take
might be your last.

You Russians are a cheery bunch (!)
Try to be.

Mike, the victim is in several
pieces. This will take some time.

And nothing doing until hazmat
give you the all-clear?

Good things happen
to those who wait, Mike.

Right.

Witnesses. Let's see if this is
anything more than a freak accident.

Well, an exploding Portaloo.
Nothing suspicious about that.

(BIRDSONG)

Victim - Lionel Bridges.

60 years old, owner of the
Brokenwood Models and Trains Shop.

Also founding member of the
Aeronauts Steampunk Society.

Do we know what steampunk is yet?
Um... quite strange?

Mm. Yeah, I can corroborate that.
Hm.

Lionel is also the father
of one of the members.

Uh, Poppy, do you recall where you
were at the time of the blast?

Seriously? (GASPS) Her dad
has just been killed.

All right. Um, sorry.
Uh, look, this can wait.

It's Cleo, yeah?

Can I organise you two a ride home'?
Yeah.

(SOBS)

(BREATHES SHAKILY)
Are you hurt?

She's embarrassed cos
she wet herself. Poppy!

We were outside, watching the fireworks
display when it happened. When, 'boom.'

I see. Well,... don't worry.

It happens.

Shock, you think? Maybe. Probably
didn't help that she'd been drinking.

Actually, most of them seemed pretty drunk, or, as
they like to say in their steampunk vernacular,

'Full as a tick. Soaked.
Sloshed. Fully roostered.'

Yeah. For a bunch of nerds,
they really like to get on it.

The owner of the Portaloos - uh, Tim Werner -
was certainly embodying all of those terms.

Has anything like this ever happened
to one of your Portaloos before?

Timmie Time Toilet Tanks
don't explode.

That wouldn't be very good
word of mouth.

What was the gas tank for?
Oof. Huh?

Hey- Whoa- Hey! (LAUGHS) Hey, hey,
hey. ls there someone we can call?

No, no. Uh, I'm OK.
(KEYS JANGLE)

(COUGHS, GROANS) Oh, uh, no, no, no. Let's,
urn... We'll get you a ride home, eh?

OK.

SLURRING: I just gotta
use the toilet.

No, no. No, no. You can't. It
blew up, right? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Smelt like the floor
of the Frog and Cheetah.

How do you know what the floor of
the Frog and Cheetah smells like?

I'll follow up today.

Is it possible a firework
hit the gas tank?

Yeah, possible, but unlikely.

We got a licence for them! You don't
need a licence for fireworks, Nigel.

(CHUCKLES) OK! Well, we read all
the safety precautions on the box.

Jesus!
Sony!

We bought them off a stall on the side of the
road. Honestly, they were rubbish, really.

Did any of them
go near the Portaloo?

Most of them
didn't go anywhere at all.

And the owner of the hangar -
he flies hot air balloons?

Yes. Uh, Alden Coombes.

Still in hospital. They're going to
update me when he regains consciousness.

Now, um, are we going to talk about
the dog-shaped elephant in the room?

Willie? I'm looking after him for a friend.
Mm.. A, uh, female friend?

Hm, possibly a... girlfriend?

- (CELL PHONE RINGS)
- (CLEARS THROAT)

Gina. Mike, I have finished
assembling the body, minus one piece.

It was challenging.
It reminded of Tetris.

I'm on my way.

(SIGHS) Right. (CLEARS THROAT)

Come on, Willie.

Let's go.
Uh, Mike?

Dog, mortuary. Still got...

Charred body parts.

Right. I see your point. Um...

Here.

What?
(WILLIE PANTS)

(CURIOUS GUITAR MUSIC)

Given that he was at the epicentre of the
blast, I'm surprised he's in such good shape.

Shapes, Mike. He's in shapes.

But the walls of the portable toilet were plastic,
so the energy of the blast was dispersed.

If they were made of concrete,
he would have been liquefied.

Pink mist.

Anything of note?
Hmm...

His lungs show signs of heavy smoking, his
liver was inflamed, blood alcohol very high.

His bladder was empty, and he had fish and chips
for an early dinner - probably around 5:30pm.

But most interesting...

the lighter had been fused
with the skin.

I found what remains of
a packet of cigarettes too.

So we have a probable source
of ignition?

Good work.
I'm not just a pretty face, Mike.

No. (CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, you said you were
missing a piece.

Yes. My Tetris is incomplete.

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Sims. Forensics have found the remains
of a hose attached to the propane tank,

and it appears strips of duct tape were
covering the ventilation holes of the Portaloo.

Someone purposely
filled it with gas.

And Lionel Bridges had a cigarette
lighter in his hand when he died.

What? Some kind of elaborate suicide
attempt? (CHUCKLES) Unlikely, no.

Then someone had it in for Lionel.
Seems that way. Carry on.

Oh, and have a look out for his left ear.
Wait, what?

Did you say 'an ear'?
(PHONE CLICKS)

Hello?

(COUNTRY MUSIC)

(JAUNTY COUNTRY MUSIC)

(TRAIN WHISTLE TOOTS)

(WHISTLE TOOTS)

(MUSIC FADES)

Lime?
Uh, salt.

Brokenwood doesn't have a lime quarry.
(WHISTLE TOOTS)

I can watch it go around
for hours and hours.

I mean, even though it's the same, it's
like there's always something new.

Bart, you work for Lionel?

Part-time.

You knew him well?

He was like a father to me.

We can put you in touch with a grief
counsellor. I don't know. I'll be OK.

Do you think you're up to giving me
that statement now? (DOOR ALARM CHIMES)

I might have known I'd find you in this place.
It's not a good thing for you to be here today.

It's morbid. Morbid, Bartie. Mum, Lionel loved
this place. I'm showing my respects, all right?

Well, you show your respect by
looking after yourself. Tell him.

STAMMERS: I was surprised
to see the shop open.

See? See what this man says?
Mum.

Oh, um, I'm sorry about last night.

I might have come across
a bit brusque.

Get away from him! Go on! Shoo!
(WHIMPERS)

Ma'am, she's a paramedic. And who are you?
DSS Mike Shepherd.

(SCOFFS) My son doesn't need
a detective. He needs a doctor!

I was overwhelmed by everything.

I understand. How about we get a cup of
tea at the station? Get that statement?

(CURIOUS ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

OK. What have we got, team? Uh, the likely
source of the propane tank at the party.

Storage for all of Alden Coombes' hot
air balloon propellant - left unlocked.

(METAL CREAKS)

Uh, also, this length of steel was found
jammed in what remains of the Portaloo door.

It would have prevented the door
being opened from the inside.

Which means we're definitely
not dealing with a suicide.

Could be off the junk
decorating the Portaloo.

Or should I say
'Timmie Time Toilet Tank'?

You provided them to the party for free -
is that correct? Oh, for sure! Sponsorship.

Gotta be prepared to do some
pro bono work for name exposure

in the first few years
of a start-up company.

'Timmie Time'. It's an interesting name for
your brand. Yeah. It's pretty cool, right?

I did a business course. You've got to make it
a personal connection to what you're offering.

That's the key to success.

Even though you're... associating
your name with going to the toilet?

Oh, totally! I mean, every time you feel the
urge, and you think, 'Ooh, it's Timmie time,'

that's, like, ka-ching for me.
That's what winning feels like.

(BRUSH SCRATCHES)

Where was he at the time of the explosion?
Supposedly watching the fireworks,

as was everyone else, it seems.

Yeah, great display! Best I've
seen in a while. (BRUSH SCRATCHES)

I heard it was pretty average.

Yeah. Right. Yeah.

(SCRATCHING CONTINUES) Do you know of any reason
why anyone would want to hurt Lionel Bridges?

Don't know. I wouldn't call him a friend,
but he was passionate about the cause.

The cause being steampunk?

Sorry. I feel terrible. (GRUNTS)

Well, that's understandable. You've
lost a member of your group. Yeah, nah.

I smothered a parrot last night.

OK. You what?
I smothered a parrot.

(CROWD CHEERING)
MAN: Say hello to the green fairy!

In steampunk, when we drink
absinthe, we smother a parrot.

Ah! (SUCKS TEETH)

(SHUDDERS)

OK. Well, your witness consumed absinthe,
so nothing he says is gonna be reliable.

Not necessarily. Mm.. Speaking from experience?
No. Roxy did it once at uni, though.

She thought she was flying on a cloud with a
flock of ducks, heading north for the winter.

Then, the next morning,
she went down to the park,

found her air mattress
floating in the duck pond.

What is your point exactly?

All I'm saying is Tim Werner
has been more than helpful.

Whose idea was it to decorate
the, uh, Timmie Tanks?

Lionel's.

Ah! (LAUGHS)
You're a lifesaver, Tim.

And you'll, uh, give them a plug
during your speech? Yeah, of course.

They're very plastic.
High durability, easy clean.

What is it with Islanders and
bright colours? God's sake, man.

I wouldn't know, being Maori.

Well, you're all from
the same islands.

About 500 years before you left
yours. Got the jump on you there.

All I'm saying is that these fluoro monstrosities
don't exactly fit in with the cause.

All right! All right. I could change
my mind about not charging you.

No, no, no! They're perfect!
They're perfect.

Perhaps we could...
get a little creative.

Just as long as people still see the name.
Oh, yes. Absolutely.

Did Lionel always speak like that?
Don't know. But in my line of work,

you get used to dealing
with white male crap.

So it was actually Alden's idea to decorate
them? Well, come to think of it, yeah.

He wanted them to blend in
with the theme, I guess.

Steampunk Portaloos.
Timmie Time Toilet Tanks. Yeah.

Decorate or disguise? Alden Coombes is still
unconscious. I'm getting regular updates.

Good, cos that wrought iron brick wrap would
have camouflaged the pipe from the gas tank.

How bothered do you think was
Tim Werner by Lionel's comment?

Hmm. He mostly seemed worried
about brand exposure.

And I'm no closer to figuring out what
steampunk is. I am, thanks to Bart Bloom.

It's a genre of science-fantasy. It can be
music, movies, role playing - anything.

Often, it imagines an alternate future
where steam power is still king,

and Victorian sensibilities
and designs still prevail.

It's about taking ideas from the past and
transforming them into something new.

It clearly means a lot to you. Steampunk,
you can be whoever you want to be.

An escape from the things
you don't like about your own life.

Uh, Lionel Bridges and Alden Coombes founded the
Brokenwood Aeronauts together back in 2004.

Alden was the charismatic leader, but
Lionel was the one with integrity.

Yeah, he made you feel like you weren't just
dressing up - that you were creating a better world.

I'm still hearing 'cult.' Every year, they
fundraise to send themselves to Oamaru.

Apparently, there's a big
steampunk festival down there.

Only, I didn't get to go.
Your health?

Yeah, but this year
was gonna be different.

Uncle Neil finally agreed that
we'd have our own festival up here.

I was so happy, and it
was all because of Lionel.

Bart, can you think of any reason why
anybody would want to hurt Lionel?

He was just a nice man who ran
a model train store, and...

(INHALES DEEPLY) Uh, if you need to, the
bathroom's second on the right, down the hall.

I'd prefer to use my own bathroom.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Uh, Elsa Bloom
is wondering how much longer.

And, um, she asked me to tell you
she's worried about your...

water retention.

Mothers - can't live with 'em, can't live
without them keeping tabs on your bladder.

So...

Lionel Bridges is a gentle, quiet soul with no enemies
who someone just decided to blow to smithereens.

What is the explosion
wasn't the goal here?

I mean, Lionel's been drinking. The offender then jams
the door shut, having taped the ventilation holes,

pumping it full of gas.
By the time Lionel smelled the gas,

if he smelled it at all,
he's trapped in there.

And with everyone watching the
fireworks, nobody hears his screams.

He'd pass out in minutes,
be dead in a few more.

The offender then removes the tank, removes the
tape, and leaves Lionel to be discovered -

dead on the dunny, just like Elvis. Only problem
is, instead of peanut butter sandwiches,

Lionel's vice was cigarettes.
Smoking kills!

But propane gas is, like, a really bad,
stinky egg smell. How did he not notice?

(PHONE CHIMES)
It's a Portaloo. Right. Yeah.

Alden Coombes has regained consciousness.
(BELL DING-S)

Do you want to go get a coffee?
Yeah, sure. No, not you.

Get back to Tim Werner. We need to know how
quickly that Portaloo can be filled with gas.

Hm. Come on, Willie. This way.
Go. Yep. Nope!

CLEO: He seems very wise.
(WILLIE PANTS)

I'll take your word for it.

Uh, I know it's hard, but last
night- Doesn't seem real.

I keep expecting him to call
or come walking round the corner.

Is your mother still around?
Nah.

She ran off when Poppy was a baby. She left Lionel
to raise her on his own. They barely speak.

Tough. ls there any other
family around?

She's got me now, eh, babe'?

Doesn't need anyone else.

Poppy, we're concerned that your
father's death wasn't an accident.

Do you know of anyone that might
have wanted to have hurt Lionel?

Definitely not her mum, if that's what
you mean. She lives in Australia.

What was your last memory
of seeing him last night?

Urn, it was later in the night.

I'll see you outside?

Just before the fireworks.

Did your father approve
of your relationship?

Not really.
Yep.

I mean, maybe he was a little
protective sometimes, but all dads are.

He meant well, didn't he?
Yeah, he did.

Urn, we have that victim support thingy.
Can we go?

Oh, of course. I'll be in touch
if we have any more questions.

Bye, Willie.

(MYSTERIOUS GUITAR MUSIC)

Heard about Lionel Bridges.
Messed up way to go.

You knew Lionel? Nah, mate. I'm
not into that kinky stuff.

What do you mean 'kinky'?
Model trains.

Yeah. Nah, never even met the guy.
Well, except for one time.

(WHISTLE TOOTS)

It was back when I was
smoking the buds.

I remember he was a bit intense.

Humbug?

Beautiful, aren't they?

Would you like to come inside?

(LAUGHS) It's great to see young men taking an
interest in precision engines from the golden age.

Tell me - have you ever considered
making a steampunk persona?

You- Like a pasta dish?

He was confusing, which is why
I don't smoke that stuff anymore.

Frodo, just to clarify - do you think
Lionel was making advances towards you?

No way. No. Definitely not.

I don't think so. Do you reckon?

Thanks. Uh, great coffee, as always.

Hey, Detective Shepherd -
is this not your dog?

(TRUCK ENGINE WHIRRS)

Go on, Willie. Come on. Come on.
Come- Come on.

See ya.
Have a good day.

Mr Coombes currently has no memory of the incident.
The few things that he has said are quite strange.

Apart from some superficial burns, he's got a
mild concussion and some temporary hearing loss,

so please keep it brief.
I appreciate it.

Oh, and hey - I- I'm really sorry
to hear about you and Kahu.

How do you know about that? Oh, just... just heard.
But you know, if you're ever at a loose end,

you're welcome to come round for dinner.
A woman can't live on soup alone.

Thanks. Uh, I'll let you know.

(DOOR SQUEAKS, CLOSES)

(MONITOR BEEPS STEADILY)
Poppy- Uh, Mr Coombes,

I'm Detective Kristin Sims. Sorry, what?
I... can't hear over this blasted ringing.

Can you hear it?
Um, Alden, I'm...

Detective Kristin Sims.
Mm.

You're a Mutton Shunter. What?
Blue Bottle. A Miltonian.

Well, I'm a... detective.

That's what I said.

Do you know where you are'?
Uh...

Blasted infirmary on the...
Airship Europa?

Uh, you've had a concussion, Mr Coombes.
There was an accident. Do you recall?

I don't. Nothing.

Mm.. Well, there was a gas explosion
involving one of the Portaloos. Oh, dear.

I'm sorry to say that your friend,
Lionel Bridges, was... killed.

Lionel? No.

We believe the Portaloo had been
filled with propane gas.

Lionel Bridges - gone?

Yes.
(LABOURED BREATHING)

Uh, Mr Coombes, on your property, there is
a shed containing four propane gas tanks.

Do you remember locking that shed?
Oh, always.

Even/thing's stored away.
Safety first. (GROANS)

Lionel Percival
Pottersmore Esquire - dead.

I can't believe it.

He was sound on the goose.

Someone to ride the river with.

He loved the Maw Blaine.
Mary Blaine being his... girlfriend?

Trains, woman. He loved the trains.

Uh, what about a spare key
to your shed?

Oh, it... That's the only one.

So, it was an accident? No. We
believe this was a deliberate act.

Someone on purpose?
Yes.

Hm. Do you remember
locking your- Oh.

No, no. No. Alden. Alden, stay put!
(YELPS, GROANS) (MONITOR BEEPS RAPIDLY)

(GROANS)

What's going on in here?
Uh, he fell.

That's enough, Detective. Please.
Please. (SIGHS) (BEEPING STOPS)

Come on, Mr Coombes. I'm sorry.
It's all right.

You're fine.
You're fine, Mr Coombes.

(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC)

# Livin' out of a suitcase,

# down to my last blue jeans.

# Truck stop coffee
and the same white lines

# every road I've seen.

# Fall asleep looking
at your picture.

# Wake up saying your name. #

I understand you were at the party earlier in
the evening to announce a steampunk festival.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry about the delay.

Though I doubt that'll be happening any more.
It's a shame. Alden worked so hard on it.

Well, Alden and Lionel.

In different ways, yes.

How well did you know Lionel Bridges?
(SNICKERS)

Mainly knew him as the guy who always emailed
me about re-opening the Brokenwood train line.

Do you happen to know if he was...

Gay? Mm. (CHUCKLES)
Not that I knew of.

And I would know, since we all have
those secret meetings once a month (!)

Well, just trying to keep an open mind.
Looking for motives. (GLASS CLATTERS)

Not as far as I knew. In fact, a bit more of
an open mind could have done Lionel some good.

Fire jugglers, knife throwing,
steam-powered jetpack testing.

Hot air balloon rides combined with
free homemade whisky tasting for all.

Yeah. This, uh, all sounds
very dangerous.

No, no, no, no, no. Not at all. No.
The, uh, Brokenwood Steampunk Festival

will be a fun, safe environment
for the whole family.

Did I mention balloon rides?

During the negotiations, Lionel brought up wanting
to keep undesirables out of the festival.

It needs to be purely about
commitment to invention.

At first, I thought that sounded reasonable,
but then, I tweaked to what he actually meant.

No riff-raff or degenerates trying
to sexualise or politicise it.

What exactly do you mean by that,
Mr Bridges?

Well, he means to keep out highwaymen and
thieves. Blaggards! That's not what I mean.

You know what I'm saying.
The bloody LGBT... P brigade.

They want to make everything
a statement these days.

Stearnpunk is not an excuse for them to
dress up in lace and swan around in public,

fondling each
other's- (THUD!) Ow!

Well, if there's no fondling...

I'm afraid the festival's
off the table.

(LAUGHS)

I should have know you wouldn't understand.
(CHAIR SCRAPES)

Honestly, I was kind of impressed he'd had the
audacity to talk to me like that. But, (CHUCKLES)

No, I mean it. Any more talk about exclusion,
this festival idea goes no further.

Oh, he doesn't mean it! He's just very passionate
about making sure the event is a success.

Steampunk is about inclusivity.
That's the entire point.

Lionel Bridges will not stand in the way
of a successful festival - I promise you.

What do you think
Alden meant by that?

That he would blow him up
in a portable commode.

Sorry. Too soon?

I took it to mean that he would
resist Lionel's rabid homophobia.

At least, I hope
that's what he meant.

Your nephew, Bart, is an Aeronaut.
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, the group's really brought him out of his
shell. He's, uh, he's quite an insular young man.

Caused by his health problem?

My, uh, brother walked out on them many
years ago. It had a lasting impact.

Elsa raised him on her own? I try and help
out when I can, not that it's welcome.

Because?
I suspect every time she sees me,

I'm a reminder of the pain
my brother caused.

OK. Uh, thanks.
Mm.

Did you know Lionel's daughter was in a
lesbian relationship? (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

People like Lionel Bridges have a remarkable
ability to look the other way when it suits them.

Hm.

Blowing up Lionel Bridges
required serious planning.

Planning... requires clear motive.

According to both Frodo and Bart Bloom,
Lionel showed a keen interest in young men,

contradicted by the fact that
he was reportedly homophobic.

Lionel wanted gay people specifically
excluded from his prized festival.

So, he was closeted?
Neil Bloom believes not.

But his daughter's gay.

Which gives motive to
both Poppy and Cleo.

I mean, if Lionel stood in the way of their
relationship somehow, how angry were they?

Poppy stands to inherit some money,
possibly even the shop.

As did Cleo, vicariously.

Where does Bart fit in all this?
Hm. He's a curious one.

Health issues, abandonment issues,
possibly OCD.

But he looked up to Lionel-
kind of a father figure.

How'd you get on with Tim Werner?
We did some tests this afternoon.

The internal cavity is 1.8m3.

So, at 40 litres a minute...
(TAPE RIPS)

we'd need... (GRUNTS)

What are you doing?
I'm taping up the ventilation holes

so that it fills up with the gas faster.
I didn't ask you to do that.

Yeah, but it's just
common sense, right?

Do you remember who you were standing next
to while you were watching the fireworks?

Uh, let me think.

None of our witnesses can
actually place you. OK.

Well, when I told you I was
watching the fireworks, I was,

just not with anybody else.

(FIREWORKS SQUEAL)

(CROWD CHEERING)
(EXPLOSION DISTORTS)

(LEAVES RUSTLE)

(FIREWORKS HOWL)

But I remember someone standing
over me for a bit, definitely.

Who was it. I dunno. Well,
what did they look like?

A bush.
A bush?

A bush-shaped person.

You think it's possible this bush-shaped
person could have just... been a bush?

(FINGERS CLICK)
Or even a tree.

(INQUISITIVE MUSIC)

You buying that?

I'm dealing with a guy
who smothered a parrot.

Anyway, it took approximately 90 seconds
to fill the Portaloo with propane.

Right. (CLEARS THROAT)
The short length of hose

suggests that the gas bottle
was positioned...

behind the Portaloo.

Which offers that the most obvious place for the
offender to hide was here, around the side of the shed.

So, assuming the offender waited until Lionel
got into the Portaloo, then jammed it shut,

filled it with gas about
90 seconds before the explosion,

we're looking for anyone that can't be accounted
for during the entire fireworks display.

Well, that's Tim Werner, though he
was potentially somewhere here.

Also, a witness has Poppy Bridges arriving
after Cleo Jones, as did Bart Bloom.

And Alden Coombes can't recall where
he was at the time of the explosion,

but none of the other witnesses have
him at the fireworks at all.

(INHALES DEEPLY) Alden Coombes' memory
loss is very convenient, isn't it?

(CURIOUS COUNTRY MUSIC)

(POUNDING ON DOOR)

DC Breen.
Ah. About time. I'm Wanda.

Right. Uh, I'm looking for Cleo Jones.
Are you from the tenancy service?

I'm from the criminal investigation branch.
Of the tenancy service?

Of the police. Cos I just filed a
complaint with them about Cleo.

She took all her stuff to her
girlfriend's place yesterday,

I have to look for a new flatmate
in, like, a week. Total crap.

You're saying she's moved in
with Poppy Bridges?

Do you know if she's there now?
Probably. Those two are inseparable.

Or try their work - the pet shop. Right.
Got it. Thanks. Wait. Wait.

When you see her, give her this, and tell
Cleo she's not getting her bond back.

(DOOR CLICKS)

(COUNTRY MUSIC)

Mr Coombes' situation yesterday transpired
to be nothing more than a panic attack.

I know you've got a job to do,
but take it easy, please?

At this stage of his recovery,
it's important he avoid stress.

(DOOR SQUEAKS, CLOSES)

Well,...

That's one way to avoid it.

(INQUISITIVE ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

Ms Bloom. Oh, I'm quite comfortable
with you calling me Elsa.

Right. Uh, Elsa, then.
How can I help?

It's probably more a case
of how I can help you.

My son, Bart, has a variety
of health issues, as you know.

One of his medications
has a side effect - insomnia.

So, when he does sleep,
it can be very fitful.

Last night, I overheard him
sleeptalking in a...

a distressed and agitated way.

It was about...

Yes?

It would seem that...

Lionel Bridges and Alden Coombes had some
sort of argument before the explosion.

Bart witnessed this? I presume so,
to be talking about it in his sleep.

He didn't mention it in his statement.
He was quite shaken.

Anyway, it may be nothing.
I just thought I should mention it.

Thanks, Elsa. I'll talk to Bart
again as soon as possible.

Why? Well, to get Bart's
version for more detail.

Of course.

I'll see myself out.

(LOW, EERIE MUSIC)

Alden!

Mr Coombes!

(BIRDSONG)

(AMBIENT COUNTRY MUSIC)

(ANIMALS CHIRP)

(DOOR SQUEAKS)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(BELL DINGS)

Didn't we just...
I work here.

You didn't mention that.
You didn't ask. Are you stalking me?

What? No. No, I'm a detective,
as I said. (SCOFFS)

You got a girlfriend?

Yes?

Does she know you're here?

Look- Look! Poppy and Cleo
- are they here? Not here.

Well, you did say they worked here.
They're off today. Sick leave.

Right, and you didn't tell me that
because I didn't ask?

(ANIMAL SQUEAKS)
Nope. Cleo texted after you left.

Said that Poppy's sad
and can't be alone.

Or it could just be Cleo's afraid of
the verbal smack-down coming her way.

(SIGHS) It's extra crap because
it's gonna be a really busy day.

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

Yeah, good luck with that (!)

It's not mine.

(PHONE RINGS)

Mike. According to Elsa Bloom,
Bart witnessed a heated argument

between Alden and Lionel that night. Can
you ask him that? I'll follow up Bart.

I'll be happy to.

(CLEARS THROAT) Just as
soon as I find him. What?

He discharged himself from hospital via an open
window. His car's still outside his house.

The taxi company have no record. For all we know,
he could be passed out in a ditch somewhere.

So I've put out a 10-1,
but as yet, nothing.

How does a grown man in
a hospital gown just disappear?

Keep me posted.
Will do.

Hey, maybe this dude
escaped by bicycle.

(VAPE HISSES)

(BELL DINGS, SPOKES CLICK)

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

(BRAKES SQUEAK)

At first, I thought it was just
some dude going senile.

My grandad sometimes opened the door
completely nude- Thanks, Frodo!

(DOOR ALARM RINGS)

It really is impressive.

I've been helping Lionel build it
since I was 11.

I even suggested a few bits, like the,
uh... the coal yards and the salt mine.

He always said that life was a work in progress,
and only through working do we become better men.

I don't know what else to do. (PAINTBRUSH
CLATTERS) Bart, tell me about the argument

you witnessed between Alden and Lionel on
the night of the party. What argument?

Your mother said she heard you talking
in your sleep. (DOOR ALARM RINGS)

SIGHS: Oh, sorry. Only me.
(CHUCKLES)

I was on my way home, and I, uh, saw you left
your medication in the back of the car again.

Mum.
You're looking puffy.

I was, uh, just on my way home from
talking with Detective Shepherd

and telling him about the mutterings in your
sleep where you- What were you doing in my room?

I wasn't in your room, dear, but you were being
very loud. STAMMERS: It's the medications.

Tell me what you remember. Well, you said that he
was threaten- Elsa, I'd like to hear it from Bart.

Uh, I think, uh, Alden was threatening
Lionel. And this argument was public?

No, it was by the Portaloos. Elsa, please.
Well, that's what he said!

You wouldn't dare. I'll make sure your
precious festival dies before it's born...

Brocklesby. (GRUNTS) (SNICKERS)

I should kill you,
you hypocritical bastard.

No, Lionel never said that! Bartie, it's
what you told me. I never told you anything.

Oh, you were fretting in your sleep.
What did he say?

I don't know.
But you were also by the Portaloos?

No, no. No way.
So, where exactly were you?

Uh, I was on my way
to watch the fireworks.

(INDISTINCT ARGUING)

And what do you think they were discussing?
The festival, I guess.

Well, surely that's a question you should be
asking Mr Coombes. Uh, it's on the agenda.

Well, mm.

I've got to, uh...
I've got to catch the pharmacy.

(CHUCKLES) Mother's work
is never done.

Bart, why didn't you mention this
in your statement'?

(DOOR ALARM RINGS) Because Lionel would
never hurt Alden. He was a good man.

STAMMERS: Would you like to see the new
South Pacific SW1500 diesel locomotive?

We just got this in.
Another time, perhaps.

(INQUISITIVE MUSIC)

(BANGING ON WINDOW)

Hello?!
(BANGING CONTINUES)

Hello?

SOFTLY: Sick. Right.

(AMBIENT COUNTRY MUSIC)

(BOOM!)

(TENSE ACTION MUSIC)

Comms from Charlie 3. 10-9.
Shots fired. Repeat - shots fired.

Do you know how close the AOS was
to being dispatched?

You would have done
exactly the same thing.

MAN: No. (GUN COCKS) No. Please.

(BOOM!)
(GASPS, GRUNTS)

Anyone else want a piece
of Starfire Jones?

That was awesome!
That fall looked so real, Billy.

Oi!

Charlie 3 to comms.
Stand down. False alarm.

(PHONE BEEPS)

You're lucky to be alive after a run-in
with the notorious Starfire Jones (!)

Can we just focus on
the bigger picture here, OK'?

How is Poppy Bridges so quickly over the
death of her dad? Yesterday, she's grieving.

Today, she's making short films
about damsels in distress.

Bring them back in for another chat.
Gladly!

I couldn't face working today, but I couldn't sit
around home either. Dad's stuff is everywhere.

I suggested we did some work on the film.
Poppy gets really into it, and it worked.

It took her mind off her dad.

We're very sorry if it
came across as insensitive.

I'm not the one
who's grieving for my father.

I'm still sad and everything, OK?
l am. lt's just...

so weird. We're so sorry if it
came across as insensitive.

Cleo, you've moved in with Poppy.

So? You don't think
it's a little rushed -

moving in with someone
less than two days after-T?

Poppy didn't want to be alone
in that house. It freaked her out.

Poppy, I need you to tell me a bit more
about your relationship with your father.

He raised you alone?

Yeah. Yeah. Um...

Mum left when I was a baby, and he
just... never really got over that.

Are you close to your mum?
No.

I look like her, though.

As I got older, Lionel would start
spending longer hours at the shop.

He said I wasn't allowed to come
because I'd break the trains, but...

I think he just didn't want me
around, reminding him.

Is that why you joined the Aeronauts
- to spend time with him? Yeah.

(SNIFFS) It worked for a while. You know, we'd both
dress up and pretend to be other people. (LAUGHS)

Steampunk was like... a life-size version of
him playing with his trains. It relaxed him.

He was more fun to be around.

It was nice. (SNIFFS)

But then, um...

You fell in love?

Cleo was the new girl at work.

(BIRDS SQUAWK)

'You know when you meet someone,
and just, like, straight away,

'you're being your most embarrassing selves with
each other and neither of you seem to care at all?'

But I gather Lionel didn't like
the two of you being together?

He said I was making a fool
of myself, but he meant him.

So, ifs fair to say
your father was... homophobic?

Just my luck (!) (SNICKERS)

More than that, I got the sense that
he didn't like women in general.

I need you to go through the whole night - as
much as you can remember. Can you do that for me?

SIMS: Try not to leave anything out.
OK.

OK.

Cleo says that she and Poppy arrived
at the hangar together around 6:30,

where they almost immediately ran into
Alden. Poppy is consistent on that.

Oh!
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Now, here's a roguish pair!
What mischief are you two up to?

On your way to hijack a submersible,
or to fleece a merchant train?

We thought we might rob a hot air
balloon pilot. Oh, I surrender!

I surrender! Please!
I have a wife and children.

We know very well you have neither,
Captain Brocklesby, you old scoundrel!

(CHUCKLES)

My dears. Mm.

And before the revelries begin, I should
tell you I have a surprise for you two.

Ooh, pray tell, Captain Brocklesby!

I won't ruin it, but suffice to say,
it is big. That's all I can say.

Other than...

our very own festival is to be had, and
I'm appointing you two as my co-pilots.

(GASPS) We shall forge a
new era for the Aeronauts!

What about Dad? Oh, your father won't
be a problem - I assure you. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, Benji! Benji.
(LAUGHS)

Why weren't you happy
with Alden's decision?

It was cool, but it didn't fit
with our plans.

She says they're leaving Brokenwood. Apparently,
they've been saving to travel the world together.

I'm not sure that's still on the
cards as far as Poppy is concerned.

With Dad... dead, Cleo and I will have to run
the shop now and help with the festival.

God, so much to think about.
(CHUCKLES)

Tell me about the last time
you saw Lionel.

Um...

(CHUCKLES) To sexy hats.

(INHALES DEEPLY, SIGHS)

Hey, you two.

It was, uh, later that night,
just before the fireworks.

I'll see you outside.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

(CROWD CHATTERS INDISTINCTLY)

LIONEL: You look happy.

lam, Dad. And I really want you
to be happy for me.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY)

(ORNAMENTS CLATTER)

You know what?

I am, POPPY-

I'm very happy for you and Cleo.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) She's a lovely girl.

That does not sound like the Lionel
Cleo talked to.

Mm, unless he had
a personality transplant.

I was putting my
double bass away, when...

(INDISTINCT CROWD CHATTER)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

You.

And I tried to be chill,
but he wasn't having it.

It's great news about the festival,
isn't it?

Lionel, I got you a...

You've already got one.

Uh, one going spare?
That's kind. Thanks, Bart.

I'm that kind of guy.

Bart's usually crazy shy. He barely talks
to us when he edits Poppy's movies.

You and Bart are friends?

He used to have a thing for Poppy. I guess
with parents leaving them both at a young age,

he thought there was a connection. But
he made a dick of himself at her 21st,

and I think he's been embarrassed about it
ever since, so he just tries to be nice.

A toast to the
Brokenwood Steampunk Festival!

(MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY)

Cleo, your topping hat-
it looks exquisite.

How long did it take you to make?
I made it, for my daughter.

Took me months.
Poppy and I like to share.

She thinks it looks hot on me.
She's right. It looks hot.

STAMMERS: If I had a hat that looked
that good, I'd never take it off.

Thanks, Bart.
To sexy hats!

To sexy hats. (CHUCKLES)

(SLURPS)

I'll get some more, eh?

You should take that off.

Hey, you two. Um, fireworks outside in a
few minutes. (CHUCKLES) (ORNAMENTS CLANG)

(SMOOCHING) I'll see you outside.
(GIGGLES)

(CROWD CHATTER)

You've gotta know when to hold 'em,
know when to fold 'em.

Kenny Rogers.

You know it? Oh, yeah. Grandad
used to play it all the time.

Hm. (GROANS)

(CHAIR SCRAPES)

Lionel didn't say he was happy
for the two of you, did he?

Poppy, you need to be honest
with us here, like Cleo has.

No, he didn't.

LIONEL: You look happy.

lam, Dad. And I really
want you to be happy for me.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY)

(ORNAMENTS CLATTER)

Funny.

All I really want
is a piss and a durry.

I just didn't want that to be the last thing
my father said to me - 'A piss and a durry.'

Did he say anything else?

And when you're running my festival,
remember - Alden's a traitorous bastard.

(SLURPS)

Was he referring to Alden's decision
to promote you and Cleo?

So he already knew about it
at this stage of the evening?

He'd already had a go
at Cleo about it.

You.

Alden told me about his...
plans for you two.

You little minx.

It's great news about the festival,
isn't it?

And then, he had
an even bigger go at me.

Walden's a traitorous bastard.
(SLURPS)

You think you're so smart...

just like your mother.

Well...

your mother was a prossie.

A bus-down.

A doxy.

An easy-mac strumpet.

How did that make you feel? Sad! I
felt sad, all right? Wouldn't you?

Wouldn't you feel sad if your father
spoke to you like that?

Thanks, Poppy. You've been a great help.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Sims, you're needed out
on Tanamoa Ridge.

(INQUISITIVE COUNTRY MUSIC)

I'd like to see your short films.

Why? I mean, they're not for
everyone. You might not like them.

Well, I'd like to get a better idea of the whole
steampunk thing. As soon as possible, thanks.

(DOG BARKS)

(PHONE BEEPS)

Mike, we've picked up
on Alden Coombes' trail.

(DOG BARKS)

Mrs Marlowe. Come through. How can I help?
Oh, Jean, please.

I have something here that might
interest you. More cheese rolls?

(CHUCKLES) Not quite.

(EERIE GUITAR MUSIC)

I was powerwalking along Old Comber
Rise, not far from your place. Right.

Then, at Pearse Point, there it was,
lying in the grass.

I assume it belonged to one Lionel Bridges,
given the wind direction the other night.

Thanks. I'll pass that on to Gina.
Fair to say foul play was involved?

You know I can't talk about the case.
Oh, of course.

He was an interesting fellow.

You knew Lionel? Oh, I tried not to. I
don't mean to speak ill of the dead,

but if I were you, I'd have a word
with Jared Morehu.

Ask him about model trains.

Right. I'll come back for the,
uh, Tupperware container.

If you wouldn't mind just giving it
a rinse.

Oh! Hello, Sam.
Mrs Marlowe.

Boss, I think I've got a pretty good
idea where Alden Coombes might be. Ooh!

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

(DOG BARKS)

Mike, you're not going
to believe this.

(SIREN WHOOPS IN DISTANCE)

No, I think I might.

(PHONE BEEPS) Not exactly a
high-speed getaway, is it?

Well, as they say, what goes up
must come down.

So you should go in hot pursuit.

Good luck. I need to get an ear
to the mortuary.

Well, off you go!

Right.

Gidday, Mike. No dog this time.

Uh, I put him somewhere safe.

She really likes you, eh?
Who?

Your mystery wahine. You know, a woman
doesn't lend her kuri just to any man.

Who says it's a woman? Well, corgis are
known for their vicious attack methods.

Women use them as undercover guard dogs. You
know, why do you think the Queen had so many?

(CHUCKLES)

I wanted to speak to you about
model trains. ls that a euphemism?

(SCOFFS) You used to collect them.
Hell no.

I'm a man of many interests, Mike,
but model trains don't do it for me.

But you knew Lionel Bridges?
Nah. But I met him once.

'A few years ago, I was looking
for a present for my nephew.'

Um... yeah. So...

it's, uh, it's about this time the shop owner
might say something like, 'How may I help you?'

We're closed.

Well, you've go a funny way
of showing it.

I doubt there's anything in here
that would interest you lot.

Come on, Leon. We'll go online and
find some cool trains on there, eh?

(DOOR ALARM RINGS)
(TRAIN WHISTLE TOOTS)

Seems Lionel was
most definitely racist.

All I know is my nephew has no
interest in model trains any more.

I assume this is your mystery woman. I'll leave
you to it, eh? (CHUCKLES) I assure you it isn't.

Hey, a wink's as good as a nudge, Mike.
Ka kite! I'm not winking.

(CAR DOOR OPENS)

Oh! Detective.

Might I have a word?
Sure.

(CURIOUS GUITAR MUSIC)

Why is he flying so low? Maybe his
head injury's worse than we thought.

Or he's playing a long game.
Meaning?

Well, he could be angling to not
stand trial on grounds of insanity.

Hey, did you ask Dr Carlton
to have me around for dinner?

Still want to see you off the soups.
(SCOFFS) I'm fine. Really.

And so help me God, if Gina invites me
around for borscht, I'm coming for you.

(ROLLICKING COUNTRY MUSIC)

Oh, that's a very striking
perfume you wear. Oh, thank you.

Would you like the name
for Mrs Shepherd?

Uh, there is no Mrs Shepherd, and no. I'm
terrible at remembering that sort of thing.

Now, what brings you here? Do you have
any children, Detective? No, I don't.

You'd make a wonderful father.
It wasn't to be.

I think it's very important to have a father figure
in one's life, don't you? A strong male role model.

Is that what Lionel was to Bart? Oh, I encouraged it.
Raising Bart, I knew I was never going to be enough.

It's just that with Lionel gone, I'm worried
that Bart is going to become withdrawn.

He's very shaken by what's happened, and of course,
that reflects in his health with high blood pressure

and water retention. Elsa, I need to
be clear that Bart remains a person

that is helping us with our inquiries.
Of course.

No, no. That's not what I meant.
I...

I wondered if you might
take him fishing.

I'm sorry? Or hunting, or something
outdoors-y. Something masculine.

I feel that you would be a really good
influence. I'm really not much of a fisherman.

Oh. Well, it doesn't hurt to ask.

Thank you for the tea.

Elsa, I've been meaning to ask - how would
you describe your steampunk character?

I don't have one.
So you weren't at Alden's party?

Why would I be at that silly affair?
Well, I was hoping you could tell me.

I saw your car parked near Alden's property. I
recognised the bumper sticker - 'Mothers know best.'

Well, I'd probably just stopped somewhere
to answer a call. Mm.. The car was empty.

Perhaps you're not
remembering correctly.

I remember a red puffer jacket in the boot. When
I came by a second time after the explosion,

the hatch was open
and the jacket was gone.

What were you doing
at Alden's property?

I had no interest in Alden Coombes' party or his
type, and I don't like what you're implying.

Thank you again for the tea.

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

THROUGH MEGAPHONE: Alden! We know you're
in there. You need to come down, now.

VOICE ECHOING: Alden.

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

(MEGAPHONE CRACKLES)

Could grab the Bushmaster -
blow a couple of holes in it.

(MEGAPHONE FEEDS BACK) Alden, my colleague is
suggesting that we try the shotgun approach.

Any thoughts?

ALDEN: Oh, hello!

Sorry, I didn't hear you!
My ears are still ringing.

Yeah, cos megaphones
are notoriously quiet (!)

How about you come down and we have a chat?
How do I know you're alone?

Jesus, Alden. It's just us!
Will you guarantee my protection?

From who?
What are you afraid of?

The bomb. I thought...

You thought what?

I don't think they were trying to kill
Lionel. They were trying to kill me.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(WIND GUSHES)

(GENTLE COUNTRY MUSIC)

# I blame your mother
for every little thing.

# When the cows don't come home,

# when the birds, they don't sing.

# I blame your mother
for every little thing. #

Bart, mind if I come in?

(DOOR SQUEAKS)

Uh... take- take a seat.

Uh, I'm OK, thanks.
(COMPUTER CHIMES)

I was just in the middle of editing.

Look.

Oi! Thinking about keeping that
part where your colleague comes in.

Charlie 3 to comms. Stand down.
False alarm.

I think it's really raw.

Is that on?

(KEYBOARD CLACKS) Do you edit
all Poppy and Cleo's movies?

Yeah. Yeah, I like it. It's a way of being
involved without... having to talk to anyone.

Your mother suggests you spend
a lot of time by yourself.

Oh, not by myself. I've got lots
of friends, just not physical ones.

My mother's not right about everything. You know,
she thinks she is, but she's not. (SCOFFS)

Bart, was your mother at Alden's place
the other night? My mum? No way.

She thinks steampunk's embarrassing.
You definitely didn't see her?

She doesn't even give me a ride to the parties in
case somebody sees me in her car in my costume.

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE BEEPS)
Gina.

(KNOCK ON DOOR) So satisfying when you
have all the pieces of a puzzle, isn't it?

So, it definitely
belonged to Lionel? Yes.

Though, what's most interesting is this
green hue around the top of the ear.

It's like fur. Perhaps the fur
of a Martian.

Interesting theory. It's a joke, Mike.
(CHUCKLES) I know Martians are not real.

Do you? I'm not sure I do
know they're not real.

I will look into it. Whatever it is, it's
not like any organic matter I've seen.

Perhaps the explosion had
another chemical component.

You said they were trying to kill you, not Lionel.
Who are 'they'? I should lie down. Things are fuzzy.

Dr Carlton says you're fine. Fine enough
to leap out a window, steal a bicycle

and fly a hot air balloon.
(NOTEBOOK THUDS)

So...

who are they?

Damn winds changed on me.

Otherwise, I'd have made it across the border
into bright and wondrous lands. New beginnings.

Alas, not to be.

Alden, if you believe that someone tried
to kill you and killed Lionel instead,

it is imperative you tell us.

In a way, I killed him.

See, Lionel's death
was all my doing.

I lost my wife 10 years ago -
a virus out of the blue, no warning.

I'm sorry to hear that.
(SIGHS)

Things went downhill for a while.
There was some drinking, gambling.

Grief, you see, can turn
some of us upside down.

Things unravelled on me financially.
The banks got tired of me.

How does this explain
what happened to Lionel?

Hot air ballooning is a fickle business,
at the mercy of the weather gods.

And, even then, if you can't buy
gas, you can't get yourself aloft.

So, I borrowed money from some...

Well, wherever I could. So, you're
in trouble with loan sharks?

Scoundrels, yes. Threats were made - serious
threats. So when I woke up in hospital

and heard what had happened, I knew.
I knew it was meant for me.

Do you have a name for this lender? If I were to
tell you that, I'd be re-signing my death warrant.

Or saving another innocent life.

(EERIE GUITAR MUSIC)

'Fast Eddie's Cash Bonanza'?
Yes. It's as bad as it sounds.

It's a payday lender.
They're in the city.

(SIGHS) Mr Coombes, we need
to know your whereabouts

in the moments before the explosion. Nobody else
can account for you. I can't remember. I...

I'm trying to remember.

Perhaps a good night's sleep might
help me recover my scrambled thoughts.

Can I be emancipated,
so that I might repose?

Please don't try and leave town
while we follow this up.

No. No. I don't even want to leave
the building. I'm safer here.

I know you have a bed.

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

(CELL DOOR SQUEAKS)

Um... I have to lock you in
for protocol reasons,

and only because you believe there
is a serious threat to your life.

You're so kind. It's what I want.
It's what I deserve.

Um...

If they come, tell them to make it all - my car,
my things. I don't care. But not my balloon.

She's everything.

See, my wife and I -

they were our happiest times.
Please. Not my balloon.

(DOG WHINES)

(SIGHS SOFTLY)
(DOG WHIMPERS)

(SIGHS)
(WHIMPERING CONTINUES)

(SIGHS)

All of the numbers associated with Fast Eddie's Cash
Bonanza have been disconnected, including the mobiles.

Send it through to Hughes. He can get a
team on to it in the morning. (DOG YIPS)

Um, I think he's done his time.

Well, if it's good enough
for Alden Coombes.

Mm.. Think of the psychological issues
he has now - abandonment, persecution,

not to mention
distrust of the police.

Elsa Bloom was near the scene of the crime. I
recognised her car yesterday, but she won't admit it.

Best case - she was spying
on her son.

Worst case - she was there
to deal to Lionel.

Bart is very much under the thumb of his
mother. Possibly covering for her too?

Apart from her, he leads a very solitary
life, spending most of his time online.

He was on one of those, urn, chat rooms
when I dropped by. He closed it quickly.

Oh, yeah? What's it called? In-Life.
(KEYBOARD CLACKS)

Yeah, I tried searching for
it, but I couldn't- Found it

Oh, it's an incel chat room.

'Incel' being?

Well, incels are a community
of lonely, young,

mostly white virgins who feel resentment
at their perceived rejections by women.

It's a... special kind
of boys' club.

Cleo did say that Poppy
had rejected Ban at a party once.

Oh. No wonder he got on
so well with Lionel.

Breen, I want you to watch the movies that Poppy and
Cleo have been making. I've forwarded you the link.

Are you sure this is a great use of police
time? I don't think they'll be very good.

Well, I thought you'd find it
interesting. You're in the next one.

No.

(CURIOUS GUITAR MUSIC)

(BIRDSONG)

Fast Eddie's Cash Bonanza shut down three weeks ago.
Eddie McIntyre is in custody, along with his cronies.

They ended up with a whole lot
of misdemeanours. Assault?

They're bad buggers, don't get me
wrong. They repossess flat-screen

The odd kneecap might not work
as well as it used to.

But blowing up clients
is not in their repertoire.

And dead people don't pay. And they
were all in custody at the time?

Indeed. So, yes. He is in fantasy
land, but in more ways than one.

The international boys came through
with that QHP you wanted.

Now, Andrew Crombie has a very interesting
past. Andrew Crombie being...?

Alden Coombes, when he lived in Brighton,
England. I've just sent it through.

(COMPUTER BEEPS) He changed his name and
emigrated 10 years ago, when his wife died.

Yeah, from a virus, I believe. Well,
she may have had a virus when she fell

from the basket of his
hot air balloon. 5000ft. Not pretty.

OK. Thanks.

(PHONE CLICKS)

It was never proved!
Because you were the only witness.

She had a virus! Inner ear. It
affected her balance. She leaned over.

I was acquitted. Flying balloons
is everything to me - everything.

Why should I lose that because
of an accident? A tragic accident.

A witness has you and Lionel having a
heated argument out by the Portaloos

about 20 minutes before the
explosion. What was that about?

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

OK.

Here's how it looks.

You had an argument with Lionel. Then, while
everyone is inside, enjoying the band,

you have time to unlock your shed - you
said yourself, you have the only key -

hook a propane tank up to a Portaloo, fill it
with gas, and then wait for Lionel to come along.

You then locked the Portaloos after he
went inside, planning to gas him to death,

but you didn't count on him
trying to have a cigarette.

The Portaloo explodes, killing
Lionel and landing you in hospital

with enough injuries to make you
look like an innocent bystander.

You can see why it's in your best
interest to clarify what went on and why.

I swear it was nothing like that.

Yes, we did argue bitterly.

After the announcement...

Lionel?

(CLEARS THROAT)

You should know I've asked Poppy and
Cleo to help me run the festival.

(SCOFFS) The hell you have.

I'm sorry. You know I need
this festival.

I did all the budgets,
proposals, the logistics.

I set up all the meetings.

All you did was ponce around.
We need fresh blood!

All this horrible stuff
you keep saying will kill our plans.

My daughter usurps me,

along with that little darkie! Oh, for
God's sake, man. This is what I mean!

There's a lot more horrible stuff
I could say.

About your wife?

(WHISTLES)

You wouldn't dare. (INHALES DEEPLY)
I'll make sure your precious festival

dies before it's born, Brocklesby!

(GRUNTS)
(SNICKERS)

I should kill you,
you hypocritical bastard.

He flicked his cigarette away
and stormed off. Yes.

In that moment, I wanted to kill
him, but I didn't.

After he mentioned your wife? Lionel knew
about the accident. What did Lionel know?

Oh, if other people found out,
it'd all be over.

And that was the last time
you saw him'?

No.

(DOOR SQUEAKS)

You! WEEPILY: Oh, leave me
alone, for Christ's sake!

(DOOR SLAMS)

That's the last thing I could remember
- feeling hopeless. And here I am.

Do you wear gloves when you handle the gas?
Yes. The tanks can get very cold.

(METAL JANGLES)
And...

this keyring. Does it belong to you?

This padlock - do you recognise it?

Maybe.

(LOCK CLICKS)

So? It's from my shed.

Well, it was found on the field
behind your house.

The shank's been cut through.
Obviously, you see, a burglar.

That wasn't the one found
on your shed.

This padlock was.
Urn... Sorry, I'm confused.

Well, let me keep it simple. Did you cut the shank off
your own padlock and then place a new padlock on?

Why would I cut my own padlock? Well,
that's what I was hoping you could tell me,

to eliminate any confusion. W-W-Wait.
Were my fingerprints on the new padlock?

They weren't.
Well, there you go.

But you did say
you always wore gloves.

(EERIE MUSIC)

He was found closest to the blast.
It was his gas that was used.

He had motive in wanting to stop
Lionel before he wrecked his plans.

And he was the last
to see Lionel alive.

But how did he know when Lionel would use
the toilet, or if he would use it at all?

(KNOCKING) Finished watching
Poppy Bridges' masterpieces.

They're not bad, actually, but the latest one -
Divine Beings, the one they were doing reshoots for

when I made my cameo - well, it turns out the
original version had been online for months

and was taken down
the day after Lionel was killed.

Oops. Nothing to see here?

Bart Bloom edits those.
See if he has the original version.

Ooh. Timmie Time.

(CURIOUS GUITAR MUSIC)

(PORTALOO THUMPS)

And that's where they were? Yep, exactly. I've
chocked the female one to allow for the crater.

Uh, so where do you want me to stand?
Over by the second one.

(INQUISITIVE GUITAR MUSIC)

Bart. I've got that copy of
Poppy's film that you wanted.

Oh, thanks.

Appreciate it.

Anything else? Poppy is a good person.
(BREATHES SHAKILY)

(DOOR ALARM RINGS)

Neil.

Oh. Detective.

Twice in one week. Should I be
honoured or worried? (CHUCKLES)

I know there are patient privacy concerns, but I
need to talk about your nephew's medical history.

Oh. Off the record,
as an uncle, not a pharmacist.

Mm. Mm-hm. Well, he suffered
pneumonia as a child.

Since then, he's sort of struggled with various
ailments - asthma, volatile blood sugar,

high blood pressure,
for which he takes a diuretic.

Mind you, if Elsa was my mother, I'd
probably suffer high blood pressure too.

Poor kid. Sometimes, he's got so many
pills on him, he sounds like a maraca.

To clarify, Bart is actually unwell?
Yes and no?

Everything he takes is preventative. He hasn't
had any proper medical scares for a long time.

In my opinion, that boy's biggest health
concern WHISPERS: is my sister-in-law.

Mm.

Oh, Detective!
Oh, Elsa.

That really is a lovely perfume. I'm
guessing jasmine? Jasmine Nights.

Ooh, very good.
Would you care for a coffee?

Ooh, that would be lovely. Good. The
kettle's just boiled at the station.

Plunger OK, I hope?

This isn't what I was expecting. The thing is,
Elsa, I'm certain you were at the steampunk party.

A witness recalls being fallen on
by you.

I don't understand. (CHUCKLES)

Any details you can remember about this
bush-person you saw? Anything at all?

(TENSE HORROR MUSIC)

(FIREWORKS SQUEAL)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)

(YELPS)

It fell on me!

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(FIREWORK SQUEALS, EXPLODES)

Jasmine!

Jasmine?
I smelled jasmine.

I remember it clearly now.

That's weird. I can't see
any jasmine around here.

Jasmine Nights -
a very memorable scent.

Yes, all right.
I was there very briefly.

I drove over to watch out
for my son.

So, it was you, not Bart,
that saw Alden and Lionel argue?

LIONEL, MUFFLED: I should kill you,
hypocritical bastard.

(YELPS)
(TIM GRUNTS)

But why the camouflage? The cloak and
dagger? Bart couldn't know I was there.

He gets... titchy.

SCREAMING: If you come anywhere near that
place, I swear to God, I'll move out!

(DOOR SLAMS)
Just leave me alone!

You have to understand - I thought
he really meant it this time. I...

I can't lose him.

SOBS: He's all I have.

I only want what's...
best for my son.

But one thing I can tell you -
I did not kill Lionel Bridges.

Did you see who did? (SIGHS) I
was gone before the explosion.

(BOOM!)
(GASPS)

So, you wanted to tell me about the
argument without revealing you were there?

Well, I was only trying to help.

Mothers know best.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(TRAIN CHUGGING)

(WOOD CLACKS)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(WOOD CLACKS)

Oh my God.

(BIRDS CHIRP) WOMAN: It's OK, Cleo.
You'll be fine.

(CLEO SOBS)
You've got to move on, babe.

Hi. Cleo.

I need you to come to the
station with me. Why?

We have a few questions.
ls Poppy here?

(SCOFFS, SNIFFS)

Well, she either is or she isn't.

We broke up. She told me to go
see the world without her.

She's never gonna leave
this stupid town.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Regardless, I need you
to come with me now.

(BIRDS SQUAWK)

(DOOR CLICKS)

This way.

SIMS: Take a seat.

(TRAIN CHUGS)

The original ending of your film,
Divine Beings,

depicts a villainous train conductor
being killed by your character.

It's undoubtedly supposed to be
Lionel, isn't it?

Divine Beings, Heavenly Creatures.
It was a homage.

To a film about two young women killing one
of their mothers with a brick to the head?

Curiously, the film was taken down the
day after Lionel Bridges was murdered.

You then went out and shot an alternative
ending the next day. Correct?

Yes.

And why would you do that?

I felt ashamed. I knew it would
look insensitive, even though...

It was a joke. Poppy and I used to talk about
killing off Lionel's steampunk character,

but only his character, not him.

We were roleplaying.
It was a silly game. It wasn't real.

Until, suddenly, it was real.

SIMS: Poppy's father really is dead.

The man who stood in the way
of you two being happy together.

He dies. The next day, you move in,
into his house.

Everyone's a winner except Lionel.
Poppy and I have broken up.

Why would we do something like that just to
break up? Maybe you couldn't handle the guilt.

I didn't do it.
What about Poppy?

With your father dead, you stand to
inherit his house, his business,

which you could run, or sell.
(SCOFFS)

A tidy profit.

Enough to kick-start
your filmmaking career in earnest.

I didn't want him dead, OK? He was my dad.
What about Cleo?

(TENSE MUSIC RESONATES)

# One in his bed
and one all blown to hell.

# One on his throne
and one slumped in his cell.

# One from the smoke
and one cornered by fire.

(WILLIE BARKS)

# One by his enmity
and one his desire.

# One from her plight
and one by falling wood.

# One from a covenant
come to no good.

You've earned yourself
an extra biscuit thingy.

# One by the voices
that cornered her mind.

#One.

# One by one. #

The fibres from the hat look to be a match
with the green fibres fused to the ear.

They need to be tested.
But in your expert opinion?

In all likelihood, the hat and the ear were in
close proximity at the time of the explosion.

So Lionel was wearing this hat?

Assuming he was still attached
to the ear, then yes.

OK. Stagger around like you're drunk, and
then visit the men's, then the ladies'.

Ah, it's a wonder this guy can keep
this thing on his head.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

Thank you both for coming back in.
I just have one question.

Whose hat is this?
It's mine.

So you were wearing it?
No. I was.

Poppy gave it to me as a symbol
of our commitment.

Where did you find it'?
(PHONE BEEPS)

OK. Got it. Thanks, Sims.
(PHONE BEEPS)

You're in a new spot?
Yeah, all thanks to Tim Werner.

Tried to rent me a Timmie Time Toilet Tank,
you know, on the idea that sometimes,

when people have a coffee,
it makes them want to, you know, go.

So, rather than go to go,
I offer facilities.

It makes a lot of sense.

But why pay Timmie Time
when I can get it for free, huh?

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

(DIAL TONE)

Sims, we've been looking at this the wrong way
around. Lionel Bridges wasn't the target.

Cleo, you mentioned to Detective Sims
that on the night Lionel was killed,

you... wet yourself. Oh my God. I
can't believe you wrote that down.

You said it was because of the
shock of the explosion? Yeah.

Has anything like this ever
happened to you before? No. Never.

Well, how much had you had to drink? Only a
couple of beers. I was playing in the band. Why?

Are you sure it was
after the explosion?

(FIREWORKS EXPLODE, CRACKLE)
(CROWD CHEERS, LAUGHS)

(WATER TRICKLES)
(GASPS)

Oh my God.
Don't look at me!

- (BOOM!)
- (CROWD SCREAMS)

No. Actually, it was just before. So
embarrassing. Thank you for your time, Cleo.

SIMS: You're both free to go.

Can I give either of you
a ride home'?

I'll walk. You go with her.

No. Um, you take the car.
I'll walk. I don't mind.

Um... can I just say,
off the record -

you two have been through a lot, and you
both really seem to care about each other.

I know you're young, but believe me,
it's actually a really rare thing,

so just don't be so quick
to throw it away.

Um, we could both walk.

OK.

(GENTLE COUNTRY MUSIC)

(SHUDDERS) You think it's safe out there?
Yes, Alden. I do.

(SCANNER BEEP-S)
You're free to go.

Oh. Thank you for your understanding.
Mm-hm.

Oh. Um...

If you ever fancy a balloon ride, it
really is a whole other world up there.

- (FOOTSTEPS RETREAT)
- (DOOR OPENS)

(TRAIN WHISTLE TOOTS)

Detective. Can I help you?

Like you said the other day about always
being able to find something new.

(CHUCKLES) It's very true.

No, don't do that! I know. I know. My
doctor said I need to go easy on the salt.

But it isn't salt, is it?

I think you better come down
to the station. Uh... why?

To answer a few more questions. (DOOR
ALARM RINGS) What if I don't want to?

Then I could arrest you.
For what?

The murder of Lionel Bridges.
No, I didn't murder him.

Then you won't mind answering
those questions.

Send in forensics.

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

(SCANNER BEEPS)

(DOOR SQUEAKS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

You cared deeply for Lionel.
Everyone knew that.

The idea that you would want to hurt
him is absurd. Yeah. That's right.

Absolutely right.
Mm, though what was less known

was your intense infatuation
with Poppy Bridges.

Nobody knew about it because you kept it very
private. She had rejected you at a party years ago.

To her, it was nothing more than an
awkward interaction long-forgotten.

But to you, it was devastating,
wasn't it?

You found comfort in the world
of incel chat rooms,

where other lonely men vented about
all the women who'd wronged them.

But your crush on Poppy
never went away.

Hence, you jumped at the chance to
edit her steampunk videos for free.

It meant you could be close to her
in a unique way.

But Lionel had nothing
but hatred for women.

In his mind, women were the cause of
much of the suffering in his world.

When after I gave up my life to raise her,
she decides she's gonna bring home...

'So you came up with a plan
to impress him.'

Girl? Oh, no, no, no.

Two birds with one stone.

Kill Poppy's new girlfriend by locking her in
the female Portaloo and pumping it full of gas,

making sure it looked like
Alden Coombes was responsible...

(LOCK CLATTERS)

...either deliberately
or through negligence.

(EERIE MUSIC)

In your mind, with one fell
swoop...

(GIGGLES)

...both you and Lionel would be rid
of all the troubles in your lives.

And who knows? I mean, with Cleo gone, maybe
Poppy would see you in a different light.

(SCANNER BEEPS, DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR SHUTS)

BREEN: This fob watch was found
attached to your steampunk costume

containing traces of the salt from the salt
mine, which is in fact crushed furosemide -

a diuretic. Extreme high doses can take
effect quickly, causing bladder spasms.

The same drug you take...

or don't take.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

I imagine not taking your medicine
is one of the few ways you have

of rebelling against
your overbearing mother.

(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)

(DRINK FIZZES)

Lionel! I got you a...

Oh, you've already got one.

One going spare? That's kind.
Thanks, Bart. (CHUCKLES)

Cleo thought you were trying
to be nice, making an effort.

To sexy hats!
To sexy hats. (CHUCKLES)

And you were - to kill her.

I'll get more.

You knew it would only be a matter of minutes
before Cleo desperately needed to relieve herself,

so you went outside and waited
by the women's Portaloo.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

But Lionel had caught
a really unlucky break.

LIONEL: You should take that off.

(PAIR KISS)

POPPY: And I really want you
to be happy for me. Funny.

All I really want is a piss
and a durry.

If he'd used the male Portaloo, we
wouldn't be sitting here. (SIGHS)

But, again, bad luck.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(WHINES)
You!

(DOOR CREAKS, ORNAMENTS CLATTER)

(TENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(DOOR CREAKS)

So, you secured the door shut...

(BOLT CLICKS)

(GAS HISSES)

(TAP RATTLES)

...headed towards your alibi...

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

- (FIREWORKS EXPLODE, CRACKLE)
- (CROWD CHEERS, LAUGHS)

(WATER TRICKLES)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS)

(LIGHTER CLICKS)

(BOOM!)

(PANTS) It was only meant as a joke.

She would have...

smelled the gas and come out
and laughed, maybe.

But ifs not murder, is it? I mean,
if I didn't... mean it. (GASPS)

(PANTS) C-Can I see my mum?

(GLOOMY COUNTRY MUSIC)

# I blame your mother
for every little thing.

# When the cows don't come home,

# when the birds, they don't sing.

(SLAM!)

# I blame your mother
for every little thing.

# When the cows don't come home,

# when the birds, they don't sing. #

So, are you gonna tell us
who this mystery lady is?

I, uh, don't see the need. Oh, go on!
(COLLAR JANGLES)

(WILLIE PANTS)
He's Willie, as in 'Willie Nelson'.

Aha. Country music fan.
No. A librarian?

No. Petra Conway.
Who's Petra Conway?

My ex-wife. Goodnight!

W-wait! Which one? (DOOR OPENS)
That doesn't really narrow it down.

Oi!
(DOOR SHUTS)

# He was a friend of mine.

(CAR DOOR OPENS)
Hi!

Petra! How was the festival? Incredible. A
week of sun, country music, wine, tepees.

You should have come. Yeah. It
was a little bit short notice.

My little Willie! Hm.
(WILLIE BARKS SOFTLY)

He didn't get in the way?
Oh, mm.

You've got a red open.
I do!

Would you like to come in?
(CHUCKLES) Yep.

(WILLIE WHINES)
Come on.

# He was a friend of mine. #

(CURIOUS ROCK MUSIC)