The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 5, Episode 21 - The Hustler - full transcript

♪ HERE'S THE STORY ♪

♪ OF A LOVELY LADY ♪

♪ WHO WAS BRINGING UP
THREE VERY LOVELY GIRLS ♪

♪ ALL OF THEM HAD HAIR OF GOLD ♪

♪ LIKE THEIR MOTHER ♪

♪ THE YOUNGEST ONE IN CURLS ♪

♪ IT'S THE STORY OF
A MAN NAMED BRADY ♪

♪ WHO WAS BUSY WITH
THREE BOYS OF HIS OWN ♪

♪ THEY WERE FOUR MEN
LIVING ALL TOGETHER ♪

♪ YET THEY WERE ALL ALONE ♪

♪ TILL THE ONE DAY WHEN
THE LADY MET THIS FELLOW ♪



♪ AND THEY KNEW THAT IT WAS
MUCH MORE THAN A HUNCH ♪

♪ THAT THIS GROUP MUST
SOMEHOW FORM A FAMILY ♪

♪ THAT'S THE WAY WE ALL
BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THAT'S THE WAY WE
BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

NO FAIR, BOBBY!

[cheering]

(Greg) STOP LAUGHIN'.
COME ON. GET IT.

(Peter) BOBBY!

[Bobby chuckling] ALL RIGHT!

TAKE IT OUT. COME ON.

COME ON.

OH! NEVER, NEVER.



[car approaching]

(Greg) OH, YOU ARE SO LUCKY!

[horn honking] HEY,
YOU GUYS! LOOK!

(delivery man) MIKE
BRADY LIVE HERE?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. SIGN HERE.

WH-WHAT AM I SIGNIN' FOR?

THESE 2 CRATES.

(Peter) 2 CRATES OF WHAT?

WE DON'T X-RAY 'EM, SON.
WE JUST DELIVER 'EM. RIGHT?

IF YOU SAY SO.

(Carol) WHAT IN THE
WORLD IS ALL THIS?

THE MAN SAID IT'S
SOMETHIN' FOR DAD.

BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

(Cindy) DO YOU KNOW
WHAT IT IS, MOM?

I DIDN'T ORDER
ANYTHING THAT BIG.

THAT CRATE IS BIG ENOUGH
TO HOLD A DINOSAUR.

MMM, NOT REALLY.

MOST SPECIES OF DINOSAURS
WERE WELL OVER 30 FEET LONG.

OLIVER, IS THERE
ANYTHING YOU DON'T KNOW?

YEAH, WHAT'S INSIDE
THOSE CRATES.

[all laughing] AND WE WON'T
KNOW TILL WE OPEN 'EM UP.

I'LL GET A CROWBAR AND A HAMMER.

OH, NO, PETER.

WHATEVER'S IN THOSE CRATES BELONGS
TO YOUR FATHER. HE'LL OPEN THEM.

YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO
WAIT TILL DAD GETS HOME?

RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, GENTLY.

COME ON, MIKE, THE
SUSPENSE IS KILLING US.

I HAVE ALREADY EATEN 1,100
CALORIES WORTH OF FINGERNAILS.

DAD, DON'T YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT IT IS, OR WHO IT'S FROM?

I'M AS MUCH IN THE DARK
AS THE REST OF YOU.

(Bobby) HURRY UP, COME ON!

OK, STAND BACK, IT'S
COMING. I GOT THIS ONE.

HERE IT COMES.
STAND BACK. THERE.

WOW!

(Greg) HEY, A POOL TABLE. WOW!

[laughing]

WHO'D SEND ME A POOL TABLE?

COME ON, LET'S GET THIS OPEN.

HONEY, ARE YOU SURE YOU
DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

BOY, THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR
SURE IS THAT I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT POOL, BUT I DO KNOW

THAT I WILL BE BEHIND THE 8-BALL
IF I DON'T GET DINNER RACKED UP.

EXCUSE ME.

GOOD MORNING, MIKE.

HEY, GOOD MORNING, MR. MATHEWS.

WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO SAY SOMETHING?

[laughing]

THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL
SUIT, IS THAT NEW?

NO, NO, NO. I MEAN,
D-D-DO YOU LIKE IT?

DO I LIKE WHAT?

THE POOL TABLE I SENT YOU.

YOU'RE THE ONE!

MR. MATHEWS, MY WIFE AND
I WERE UP HALF THE NIGHT

TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

Y-YOU MEAN, THEY DIDN'T ENCLOSE

THE... THE NOTE THAT I WROTE,
A LITTLE POEM I HAD ON IT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I MEAN, THAT'S AN
EXTRAVAGANT GIFT.

WELL, DON'T BE SO MODEST, MIKE.

AFTER ALL, THOSE PLANS YOU
DREW UP FOR THE WHITLEY PROJECT,

THEY LANDED THIS COMPANY
A VERY LUCRATIVE CONTRACT,

AND I JUST WANTED TO SHOW
MY APPRECIATION, THAT'S ALL.

OH, BOY, THAT'S...
THAT'S VERY GENEROUS.

I'M GLAD TO DO IT. I'M A...

I'M A REAL POOL NUT, AND
I HOPE THAT YOU ARE, TOO.

[stammering] OH, I AM!

HOW'D YOU GUESS THAT A POOL
TABLE WOULD BE SUCH A PERFECT GIFT?

AH, WELL, JUST CHALK
IT UP TO EXPERIENCE.

YEAH. [laughing] CHALK IT TO...

THAT'S A POOL JOKE. OH, YEAH.

THAT'S A GOOD PUN.

YEAH, I THOUGHT SO.

I HOPE YOUR WIFE SHARES
YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THE GAME.

OH YEAH, MY WIFE IS CRAZY
ABOUT THE POOL TABLE.

SHE'S REALLY CRAZY.

YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT
MINE RIGHT SMACK-DAB

IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE LIVING ROOM.

MIGHT NOT BE A BAD
PLACE FOR YOURS.

THAT'S A THOUGHT.

THE LIVING ROOM?

WELL, IT WAS JUST A THOUGHT.

WELL, I HAVE ANOTHER THOUGHT.

THE GARAGE, FOR EXAMPLE.

OH!

THIS CUE STICK MUST BE CROOKED.

YOUR GAME IS NOT IMPROVING
BUT YOUR ALIBIS ARE.

OK, LET'S SEE YOU
MAKE IT, WISE GUY.

YOU KIDDIN'? LOOK AT THAT ANGLE.

IT CAN BE MADE.

YEAH, SURE. BY A PRO.

BET I CAN MAKE IT.

[laughing] THIS IS POOL,
NOT TIDDLYWINKS.

I PLAY AT STEVE'S
HOUSE ALL THE TIME,

AND I'M REAL GOOD AT
POOL. RIGHT, OLIVER?

YEAH, HE CAN EVEN BEAT ME.

OK, CHAMP. LET'S
SEE YOU MAKE IT.

YEAH, SHOW US HOW
IT'S DONE, HOTSHOT.

NICE SHOT, CHAMP.

THANKS, OLIVER.

TOLD YOU IT COULD BE MADE.

BEGINNER'S LUCK! YEAH.

LET'S SEE YOU DO IT AGAIN. YEAH.

WHY? I JUST DID IT.

MIKE, I SURE AM HAPPY WE SOLVED
THAT PROBLEM WITH THE POOL TABLE.

THAT'S FUNNY. I WAS JUST
THINKING ABOUT THAT POOL TABLE.

CAREFUL.

EITHER IT STAYS IN THE CARPORT,

OR I STAY AT MY MOTHER'S.

NOW, THAT'S
TEMPTING. [chuckling] HEY!

MORE COFFEE ANYBODY?

THANKS, ALICE. YEAH, ME, TOO.

NO. WHAT I WAS THINKING WAS

THAT WE OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING TO SHOW
MR. MATHEWS OUR APPRECIATION FOR THE GIFT.

LIKE? WELL, LIKE

INVITING HIM OVER FOR DINNER,

UH, EVENING OF POOL
ON THE TABLE HE GAVE US.

YEAH, THAT WOULD BE
A VERY NICE GESTURE.

WE MIGHT WHIP UP SOMETHING
SPECIAL IN HONOR OF THE POOL TABLE.

[Mike laughing] MEATBALLS
WITH NUMBERS ON THEM.

HEY, HOW ABOUT CARROT STICKS

WHITTLED DOWN THAT LOOK
LIKE LITTLE POOL CUES? OH!

YOU GIRLS KEEP
WORKING ON THE MENU,

AND I'LL CALL MR. MATHEWS.

I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THAT
INVITATION FOR DINNER ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

OH, WELL, IT'S OUR PLEASURE.

YEAH, BUT I'M AFRAID WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO TAKE A RAIN CHECK.

OH, WELL, GEE, I'M SORRY TO HEAR
THAT. I HOPE NOTHING'S WRONG.

NO, ONLY WITH MY MEMORY.

WHEN I MADE THE ENGAGEMENT,

I'D FORGOTTEN THAT MY WIFE HAD
MADE ANOTHER ENGAGEMENT. OH.

YEAH, I SURE LOOK FORWARD TO
BREAKING IN THAT NEW POOL TABLE OF YOURS.

YEAH, WE WERE LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT, TOO.

WELL, IT'S TOO LATE TO CANCEL HANK
THOMPSON AND HIS WIFE FOR DINNER.

HANK THOMPSON? IN THE
ENGINEERING DEPARTMENT?

YEAH, YEAH. OF COURSE, I'D MUCH
RATHER SHOOT POOL, BUT, UH...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK THE THOMPSONS
TO COME ALONG TO DINNER, TOO?

OH, NO! IT'S TOO
BIG AN IMPOSITION.

BUT IF YOU INSIST...

WELL, I'M SURE
CAROL WOULDN'T MIND.

I MEAN, WHAT'S 2 EXTRA PEOPLE?

WELL, THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU.
I'LL PASS THE WORD ON TO HANK.

GOOD. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

YEAH, YEAH.

OK, GIRLS. HERE'S THE
LIST AND SOME MONEY.

HMM, LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE PLANNING

A PRETTY FANCY MEAL
FOR MR. AND MRS. MATHEWS.

WELL, AFTER ALL, MR. MATHEWS IS
THE PRESIDENT OF DAD'S COMPANY.

PRESIDENTS SURE DO
EAT GOOD, DON'T THEY?

[girls giggling] YES, ON SECOND
THOUGHT, HERE, TAKE SOME MORE MONEY.

[phone ringing]

OH. WAIT JUST A MINUTE, GIRLS.

HELLO? (Mike) CAROL?

OH, HI, MIKE.

CAROL, LISTEN, A-ABOUT
THIS DINNER ON SATURDAY,

ARE YOU PLANNING TO SERVE SOUP?

YES, I AM. WHY?

'CAUSE YOU BETTER FIGURE
ON ADDING A LITTLE MORE WATER.

HUH? THE THOMPSONS
ARE COMING, TOO.

MR. MATHEWS FORGOT HE HAD A PREVIOUS
ENGAGEMENT WITH THE THOMPSONS,

SO I SAID, "LOOK,
WHY..." AND YOU SAID,

"I'M SURE CAROL WON'T MIND."

YEAH. HOW'D YOU GUESS?

'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT
YOU ALWAYS SAY.

GOOD-BYE, HONEY.

[skidding] SHH!

[whispering] YOU'LL
HAVE TO PARK OUTSIDE.

WHAT FOR?

CINDY, YOU'RE DISTURBING
MY CONCENTRATION.

THAT'S WHAT FOR.

AND WHY DO YOU
NEED CONCENTRATION

TO PLAY A DUMB GAME LIKE POOL?

YOU WOULDN'T
THINK IT WAS SO DUMB

IF YOU KNEW THE FINER
POINTS OF THE GAME.

LIKE I DO.

YEAH, HE'S TERRIFIC!

YEAH, WELL, I BET BOTH PETER
AND GREG COULD BEAT YOU.

ARE YOU KIDDIN'? I
COULD BEAT THOSE BUMS

WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND
MY BACK, RIGHT, OLIVER?

WITH BOTH HANDS
TIED BEHIND YOUR BACK.

SO WE'RE, UH, BUMS, HUH?

ONE LUCKY SHOT AND
SUDDENLY, HE'S AN EXPERT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE
CLOBBER THE SUPERMOUTH?

YEAH, HOW ABOUT A GAME, CHAMP?

OK, LET'S MAKE IT 9-BALL.

THAT WAY I CAN BEAT
YOU GUYS QUICKER.

LOOK AT HIM.

CARE TO BACK UP YOUR
INSANITY WITH A LITTLE BET?

ANY TIME. NAME IT.

HOW ABOUT, THE LOSER SHINES
THE WINNER'S SHOES FOR A MONTH?

HEY! NOW, THAT'S NOT FAIR.

YOU GUYS GOT 4 FEET,
AND HE'S ONLY GOT 2.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, OLIVER.

YOU'RE BOTH ON.

I TAKE HALF HIS ACTION.

WE'LL LET YOU BREAK.

WHERE'S THE RACK? OVER THERE.

I WARNED YOU GUYS.

ANYBODY CAN SINK
A BALL ON THE BREAK.

TALK ABOUT DUMB LUCK.

DON'T WORRY.

HE'LL MISS.

YEAH, BUT IT MIGHT NOT
BE UNTIL TOMORROW.

I GOT 2 MORE PAIRS OF
DRESS SHOES UP IN MY CLOSET,

AND I'D LIKE 'EM SHINED,
POLISHED, AND RETURNED TO ME

BEFORE 6:00.

AND BE CAREFUL WITH
THESE. THEY'RE SUEDE.

WE HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO FIRST!

YEAH, AND YOU SHOULD BE DOING
YOURS INSTEAD OF PRACTICING POOL.

WHO CARES ABOUT SCHOOL?

I'M GONNA BE THE POOL
CHAMP OF THE WHOLE WORLD.

[fanfare playing]

[audience cheering]

FOR MY FIRST FABULOUS SHOT,

I'LL HIT THE YELLOW BALL
THROUGH ALL THE RED BALLS,

ACROSS THE TABLE, AND
INTO THE SIDE POCKET.

[fanfare playing]

[crowd cheering]

FOR MY NEXT SHOT, I WILL
HIT THE 2 YELLOW BALLS

OUT FROM THE MIDDLE
OF THE RED BALLS

KNOCKIN' THE 2 YELLOW BALLS
INTO THAT CORNER POCKET.

[fanfare playing]

[cheering]

NEXT, IN ONE SHOT,

I WILL KNOCK THE 6 YELLOW BALLS

INTO THE 6 DIFFERENT POCKETS

AT THE SAME TIME.

[fanfare playing]

[cheering]

AND NOW I WILL KNOCK
THE 3 YELLOW BALLS

INTO 3 DIFFERENT
POCKETS AT THE SAME TIME...

WHILE BLINDFOLDED.

[fanfare playing]

[cheering]

I'M RICH! I'M RICH!

I'M RICH!

I'M RICH!

I'M RICH! I'M RICH!

I'M RICH, I'M RICH, I'M RICH.

I'M RICH. HEY, BOBBY.

I'M RI... BOBBY,
WAKE UP. WAKE UP.

YOU WERE DREAMING.

THE NEXT TIME, DON'T WAKE ME UP.

WHY NOT?

THANKS TO YOU, I JUST
BLEW A MILLION BUCKS.

[rasping]

[knocking at door]

COME IN.

(Carol) HI, GREG.

I JUST WANTED TO LET
YOU KNOW I WAS HOME.

OH, GOOD. GOOD NIGHT, GREG.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

LISTEN, I DON'T LIKE TO SQUEAL,

BUT DID YOU KNOW
BOBBY'S OUT THERE?

OUT WHERE?

IN THE CARPORT, PRACTICING POOL.

AT THIS HOUR?

PRACTICING POOL?

I TRIED TO GET HIM TO COME IN,

BUT HE WOULDN'T
PAY ANY ATTENTION.

I'LL GET HIS ATTENTION.

WHEN HE SEES WHAT I CAN DO
WITH THE OTHER END OF A POOL STICK.

[whispering] BOB.

OH, HI, DAD. DO YOU
KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

YOU SHOULDN'T BE OUT HERE.

I GOTTA PRACTICE IF
I'M GOING TO BE CHAMP.

BOB, LOOK,

I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT
YOU'RE PRACTICING SO HARD,

AND YOU WANT TO BE GOOD AT IT,

BUT YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME

WITHOUT STAYING UP ALL NIGHT.

PLUS, YOU'VE GOT
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL,

YOU'VE GOT HIGH SCHOOL,
YOU'VE GOT COLLEGE,

AND THE REST OF YOUR
LIFE TO BE A POOL CHAMPION.

BUT, DAD... THAT'S IT, OK?

WELL, IF THAT'S IT,

I GUESS IT HAS TO BE OK.

HI. OH, HI, GIRLS.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR GOING
TO THE MARKET FOR ME AGAIN.

THAT'S OK. OLD MR. SCHULTZ
WAS HAPPY TO SEE US.

HE TOLD US TO TELL YOU
YOU'RE HIS FAVORITE CUSTOMER.

[Carol laughing] I
THINK HE LOVES YOU.

WE'LL PUT 'EM AWAY.

OH, THANKS, GIRLS.

MIKE, UH, ABOUT THAT, UH,

DINNER AT YOUR HOUSE
ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

OH, NO PROBLEMS,
MR. MATHEWS. I TALKED TO CAROL.

BOY, SHE'S DELIGHTED AT HAVING
THE THOMPSONS OVER, TOO.

YEAH, WELL, THANK YOUR LITTLE
WOMAN FOR ME BUT, UH, IT'S ONLY...

ONE THING, I THINK WE'LL
HAVE TO CALL IT OFF AFTER ALL.

OH, I'M SORRY. WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, IT TURNS OUT THAT HANK
THOMPSON, WHO INVITED ME AND MY WIFE,

HE ALSO INVITED JOE SINCLAIR, THE FELLOW
FROM BLUEPRINTS, INVITED HE AND HIS WIFE.

OH, I SEE.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

UNLESS, OF COURSE...
WHAT'S THAT?

NO, NO, NO, IT'D BE
TOO BIG AN IMPOSITION.

JUST... JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.

WHAT IS? UH, ASKING THE
SINCLAIRS TO JOIN US FOR DINNER.

[stuttering] NO, NO, IT'S OUT
OF THE QUESTION, MIKE.

[stuttering] JUST
FORGET IT. NO. I MEAN IT.

I'M DYING TO SEE
THAT POOL TABLE,

BUT TOO MUCH WORK
FOR CAROL, SO FORGET IT.

MR. MATHEWS...

TELL THOMPSON TO BRING
OVER THE SINCLAIRS, TOO.

NO, I... I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
ANYTHING ABOUT IT. FORGET IT.

NO, PLEASE, I INSIST.

YOU INSIST? I INSIST.

OH, WONDERFUL.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, MIKE.

HELLO.

OH, MIKE!

DON'T TELL ME.

DON'T TELL ME.

[sighing] YOU HAD
TO GO AND TELL ME.

YEAH, IT'LL HAVE TO
BE ALL RIGHT, I GUESS.

[sighing] OK, BYE.

GIRLS.

DON'T TELL ME.

BACK TO THE MARKET AGAIN.

I THINK MR. SCHULTZ IS
GONNA PROPOSE TO YOU.

(Marcia) GOODBYE.

BYE, KIDS. HAVE A GOOD
TIME AT THE MOVIES.

MARCIA, YOU DRIVE
CAREFULLY. I WILL.

BYE-BYE, MOM. BYE.

BYE. MOM, YOU SURE
BOBBY CAN'T COME WITH US?

HONEY, YOU HEARD YOUR FATHER.

BOBBY HAS A LOT OF
HOMEWORK TO CATCH UP ON.

AH-AH-AH, YOU HAD YOUR DINNER.

[chuckling]

ALICE, THANK YOU.

THESE SWEDISH MEATBALLS
SMELL ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.

I GOT THE RECIPE
FROM MRS. GONZALEZ.

SWEDISH MEATBALLS
FROM MRS. GONZALEZ?

MMM!

WELL, NEVER LOST A
THING IN THE TRANSLATION.

[doorbell rings]

I'LL GET IT, ALICE.

FRANCES, IT'S NICE TO
SEE YOU. HELLO, MIKE.

NICE TO SEE YOU.
(Mike) HELLO, JOE.

HOW NICE TO SEE YOU. NICK,
I'M GLAD YOU COULD COME.

(Mike) HI, BOSS.

(Mathews) HI THERE, BIG
FELLOW. HOW ARE YOU?

(Mike) OK. NOT BAD AT ALL.

WELL, MATHEWS'S THE
NAME AND POOL IS THE GAME.

WHERE IS IT, MIKE?

IT'S OUT BACK, IN THE CARPORT.

THE CARPORT?

WELL, WE HAVEN'T DECIDED
WHERE TO PUT IT YET.

BESIDES, OUT THERE, ALL THE
NEIGHBORS CAN ENVY US, HUH?

[chuckling] SAY,
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE POOL
TOURNAMENT BEFORE DINNER, MEN?

I'VE GOT SOME HORS
D'OEUVRES READY, OK?

YOU LADIES GO RIGHT AHEAD.
MIKE, WILL YOU LEAD THE WAY?

HARRY, CAN'T POOL WAIT?

WELL, I... I'M SURE
CAROL DOESN'T MIND.

NO, NOT AT ALL.

[chuckling]

COME ON, FELLAS. WE CAN HAVE
HORS D'OEUVRES OUT THERE,

AND DRINKS LATER. SEE
YOU LATER, FRANCES.

[crickets chirping]

[whispering] DON'T
BE TOO SHARP, MIKE.

THE BOSS HATES TO LOSE, AND
HE'S NOT AS GOOD AS HE THINKS HE IS.

WELL, LISTEN, DON'T
WORRY. HE COULD BEAT ME

USING AN UMBRELLA AS A POOL CUE.

OPEN.

[laughing]

OK, FEED THE KITTY.
GIVE ME THE DIME.

HE'S TOO GOOD FOR ME, FELLAS.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
WHO'S THE NEXT VICTIM, HUH?

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S
ME, MR. MATHEWS.

START DIGGING UP THAT DIME, JOE.

THERE YOU GO.

LOOKS LIKE THERE'S
NO BEATING HIM, FELLAS.

MAYBE MINNESOTA
FATS ON A LUCKY NIGHT.

NEXT PIGEON, PLEASE.

[laughing]

JOE, I'M UP.

[sighing]

AH.

GOOD TRY, MIKE.

STEP ASIDE AND WATCH
THE MASTER DROP IT.

WATCH THIS ONE AND WEEP.

THE WINNER AND STILL
COMPANY CHAMPION.

OH, BOY.

GREAT, BOSS. YEAH.

OH, GENTLEMEN, MY SON,
BOB. BOB, THAT'S MR. THOMPSON.

HI, BOB, HOW ARE
YOU? NICE TO MEET YOU.

(Mike) MR. SINCLAIR. HI, BOB.

AND YOU REMEMBER MR. MATHEWS.

[chuckling] YEAH.

HELLO THERE, BOBBY.

HI. HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

I'M DONE WITH MY
HOMEWORK. CAN I WATCH?

YEAH, LET HIM WATCH, MIKE. I'LL SHOW
HIM SOME OF THE FINER POINTS OF THE GAME.

HOW DO YOU LIKE
THE POOL TABLE, SON?

IT'S GREAT AND I'M
REAL GOOD AT IT, TOO!

HA, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE IN A
BOY, SELF-CONFIDENCE. HMM.

I CAN BEAT ALL MY FRIENDS AND MY
OLDER BROTHERS AND EVERYBODY!

IS THAT SO? WELL, HOW
ABOUT TAKING ME ON?

I'VE RUN OUT OF
COMPETITION AROUND HERE.

WELL, I DON'T THINK MY
DAD WANTS ME TO PLAY.

OH, COME ON, MIKE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH
ME. THANKS, DAD.

CAN WE PLAY 9-BALL, MR. MATHEWS?

9-BALL? HEY, THE KID
KNOWS THE JARGON.

WELL, YOU TAKE IT EASY
ON ME, WILL YOU, SON?

SAY, TO MAKE IT INTERESTING,
UH, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BET?

SAY, A PACK OF, UH,
CHEWING GUM, HUH?

DAD?

YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH
LEFT IN YOUR ALLOWANCE.

OK, IT'S A BET.

GO AHEAD, IT'S YOUR BREAK.

SAY, THAT WAS A FINE BREAK, KID.

1-BALL IN THE CORNER POCKET.

[sighing]

2-BALL IN THE SIDE POCKET.

2-BALL IN THE SIDE POCKET.

[mumbling] 2-BALL
IN THE SIDE POCKET.

3-BALL IN THE SIDE POCKET.

3-BALL IN THE SIDE POCKET.

BOY, THIS IS FUN.

YEAH, YEAH, THIS IS FUN, SURE.

MIKE, IF THAT WAS MY KID,

I'D BREAK HIS ARM.

JUST LUCK.

8-BALL IN THE CORNER POCKET.

OH!

WELL, I'M SORRY TO
BREAK THIS UP, GENTLEMEN,

BUT DINNER IS READY.

WELL, CAN IT WAIT? THIS
IS AN IMPORTANT MATCH.

HARRY, YOU CAN
PLAY AFTER DINNER.

OH, IT'S OK. I CAN GET
THESE LAST 2 SHOTS EASY.

8 AND 9 IN THE CORNER POCKET.

8 FIRST.

THANKS, MR. MATHEWS.
I REALLY ENJOYED IT.

[sighing] YEAH. HOW MANY
PACKS OF GUM DO I OWE YOU?

GEE, I DON'T KNOW. DO YOU, DAD?

NO, FORGET IT, MR. MATHEWS.

NO, NO, I'VE MADE A BET.

[laughs] I WANT TO PAY OFF.

WELL, YOU BET ON EVERY
SHOT, AND YOU KEPT DOUBLING.

RIGHT, HANK? RIGHT.

WELL, THAT MAKES...

256 PACKS OF GUM YOU OWE BOBBY.

WELL, YOUR CREDIT'S GOOD. GOOD
NIGHT, EVERYBODY. GOOD NIGHT.

LET'S GET WASHED
UP. (Hank) YEAH. RIGHT.

BETTER SEE WHAT OUR
WIVES ARE UP TO. YEAH.

SEE YOU INSIDE.

YOU MEAN THAT LITTLE
BOY BEAT YOU AT POOL?

SO, I HAD AN OFF NIGHT.

BESIDES, WHO CAN CONCENTRATE

WITH ALL THESE
CRICKETS CHIRPING?

MR. MATHEWS, I THINK
BOBBY'S BEATING YOU

WAS REALLY JUST
PURE LUCK. RIGHT, MIKE?

OH, SURE, JUST A FLUKE.

OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?

I WAS TERRIBLE,
THE KID WAS GREAT.

FRANCES, I WANT YOU TO TELEPHONE
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

FIND A WORTHWHILE CHARITY
TO DONATE MY POOL TABLE TO.

THANK GOODNESS.

NOW MAYBE I CAN GET MY
PIANO BACK IN THE LIVING ROOM.

MR. MATHEWS,

WITH YOUR PERMISSION,
I HAVE AN IDEA.

LET US DONATE THIS TABLE
TO A WORTHY CHARITY.

AS MUCH AS WE LIKE IT
AND APPRECIATE THE GIFT,

WE JUST DON'T HAVE
THE ROOM FOR IT.

YOU KNOW, M-MAYBE IF I PRACTICE,

AND GOT SOME
POINTERS FROM THE KID...

OH, THAT PIANO WOULD'VE LOOKED

SO PERFECT RIGHT
NEXT TO THE SOFA.

BUT I ALMOST BEAT THE BOY!

WHAT ARE WE WAITING
FOR, FRANCES? LET'S EAT.

WELL, HONEY, DO YOU THINK WE'LL
BE ABLE TO GET ALONG WITHOUT IT?

WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO MUDDLE THROUGH.

NOW I CAN GET MY
CAR IN THE GARAGE.

(Carol) YEAH.

OH, NO, NOT AGAIN!

(Alice) WE JUST GOT
RID OF A POOL TABLE.

MRS. BRADY. RIGHT.

SIGN HERE.

CAN'T YOU TAKE THOSE BACK?

AFRAID NOT. BRADY PACKAGE.

IS THIS IT?

IT'S NOT ONE OF
THOSE BIG CARTONS?

NOPE. HAVE A NICE DAY.

THANKS. LET'S GO!

ALICE, HERE'S A NOTE.

[laughing]

WHAT IS IT?

"DEAR BOBBY, HERE ARE
THE 256 PACKAGES OF GUM

"YOU WON IN OUR POOL GAME.

GOOD CHEWING. HARRY MATHEWS."

[both laughing] NOW,
THAT'S REALLY NICE.

WHEW!