The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 5, Episode 17 - Welcome Aboard - full transcript

Carol's supposedly secret in-jest announcement to Mike that there will be an addition to the family leads to the rumor amongst the kids and Alice that Carol is pregnant. In reality, that addition is in the form of Carol's eight year old nephew, Oliver, who, if Mike approves, will come to live with them temporarily while Oliver's parents move to a remote area of the world where there are no schools for their son. The kids' anticipated excitement of having their first cousin live with them, for however long, turns to frustration when everything Oliver touches seems to turn into a disaster. As much as they like him, the younger four kids believe Oliver is a jinx, news which gets directly back to Oliver, who begins to think the same himself. Even after Mike and Carol speak first to Oliver about there being no such thing as jinxes and second to Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy about welcoming Oliver into the family by dispelling the jinx theory, bad things still seem to keep on happening to anyone around Oliver. The kids just hope these bad things will stop before the family outing to a movie studio on the weekend.

♪ HERE'S THE STORY ♪

♪ OF A LOVELY LADY ♪

♪ WHO WAS BRINGING UP
THREE VERY LOVELY GIRLS ♪

♪ ALL OF THEM HAD HAIR OF GOLD ♪

♪ LIKE THEIR MOTHER ♪

♪ THE YOUNGEST ONE IN CURLS ♪

♪ IT'S THE STORY OF
A MAN NAMED BRADY ♪

♪ WHO WAS BUSY WITH
THREE BOYS OF HIS OWN ♪

♪ THEY WERE FOUR MEN
LIVING ALL TOGETHER ♪

♪ YET THEY WERE ALL ALONE ♪

♪ TILL THE ONE DAY WHEN
THE LADY MET THIS FELLOW ♪



♪ AND THEY KNEW THAT IT WAS
MUCH MORE THAN A HUNCH ♪

♪ THAT THIS GROUP MUST
SOMEHOW FORM A FAMILY ♪

♪ THAT'S THE WAY WE ALL
BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THAT'S THE WAY WE
BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

[door opening]

HI, KIDS. HEY, WHO'S WINNING?

I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT, ME.

YEAH, HUH? HANG IN THERE, CINDY.

(Carol) HI, HONEY.

[moaning]

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY?

OH, ABOUT THE SAME AS
USUAL. HOW ABOUT YOU?



WELL, NOT QUITE AS USUAL
AS USUAL. THAT'S UNUSUAL.

YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT
MADE IT NOT AS USUAL AS USUAL?

WELL, I MERELY FOUND OUT THAT WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE AN ADDITION TO THE FAMILY.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A WHAT?

WELL, 6 KIDS PLUS
1 KID EQUALS 7 KIDS.

WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO SAY SOMETHING?

[stuttering] MY
MOUTH IS WILLING,

BUT THE REST OF ME IS TOO NUMB TO
COOPERATE. HONEY, ARE YOU SURE?

I MEAN, ARE YOU REALLY SURE?

POSITIVE. ARE YOU SURE
THAT A MAN IN YOUR CONDITION

SHOULD BE CARRYING
THAT HEAVY BRIEFCASE?

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

MOM'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY!

WOW!

HEY, WAIT TILL THE
OTHER KIDS FIND OUT!

KIND OF SHOCKED, AREN'T YOU?

YES, I DIDN'T EVEN SEE A JAR OF
PICKLES IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

WHEN ARE WE EXPECTING?

TOMORROW...

[laughing] AND IT'S
GOING TO BE A BOY.

OK, CAROL, COME ON. WHAT'S
REALLY GOING ON AROUND HERE?

[chuckling] OH, HONEY, I WAS
JUST TRYING TO BE FUNNY.

BUT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE AN ADDITION
TO THE FAMILY. THAT IS, IF YOU APPROVE.

WHAT DID THE KIDS BRING HOME
THIS TIME? A STRAY ELEPHANT?

NO. IT'S MY NEPHEW OLIVER.

CAN HE COME AND STAY
WITH US FOR A WHILE?

OLIVER? HOW COME?

WELL, JACK'S BEING SENT TO SOUTH
AMERICA ON AN ENGINEERING PROJECT,

AND HE'S TAKING
PAULINE WITH HIM.

CAN'T HE TAKE OLIVER WITH HIM?

WELL, THEY WANTED TO VERY
MUCH, BUT IT'S A JUNGLE AREA,

AND THERE AREN'T ANY SCHOOLS.

WELL, HONEY, AFTER
ALL, OLIVER IS 8.

YEAH.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK I'LL GET SOME 8-YEAR-OLD
CIGARS TO PASS OUT AT THE OFFICE.

I'VE GOT THE MOST FANTASTIC
SECRET IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

CINDY, WE'RE DOING OUR HOMEWORK.

CAN'T YOUR SECRET WAIT?

ONLY FOR 9 MONTHS.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

IT MEANS THAT MOM'S
GOING TO HAVE A BABY.

A BABY?

WHAT? HOW DID YOU FIND THAT OUT?

WELL, MY EARS JUST
HAPPENED TO BE

AT THE RIGHT PLACE
AT THE RIGHT TIME.

I HEARD HER TELL DAD.

THAT'S REALLY WILD. SUPER!

IT'LL BE LIKE OLD TIMES.

I USED TO BE A
PRETTY GOOD BURPER.

HEY, WE BETTER NOT LET
MOM KNOW THAT WE KNOW

UNTIL SHE WANTS US
TO KNOW. YOU KNOW?

YEAH. YOU UNDERSTAND, CINDY?

MMM-MMM.

I'LL SUM IT UP FOR YOU
IN 2 WORDS, SWEETHEART.

WHAT? DON'T BLAB.

OH. OH.

[all laughing]

A BABY! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

HEY, YOU GUYS, HAVE
I GOT GREAT NEWS!

WHAT? MOM'S GOING
TO HAVE A BABY!

A BABY? ARE YOU SURE?

MAY I NEVER READ
A COMIC BOOK AGAIN.

HE'S SURE.

HEY, DON'T TELL MOM
I TOLD YOU, HUH? OK.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW? WOW! A BABY!

HERE, I CAN'T PRACTICE
AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

I'M AN EXPECTANT BROTHER.

[Peter whooping]

[laughing]

♪ [humming]

OH! DON'T DO THAT, MRS. BRADY.

WHY NOT, ALICE?

WELL, SALAD FOR 9 IS A LOT,

AND I USED A VERY
HEAVY DRESSING.

♪ [humming]

HEY, MOM, YOU
SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT.

LET US SET THE
TABLE. TAKE IT EASY.

ARE YOU TWO
VOLUNTEERING TO HELP?

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE
FEELING ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S A QUESTION WE
SHOULD BE ASKING YOU.

ALICE? HMM?

IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON AROUND
HERE THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT
IT, MRS. BRADY, NOBODY DOES.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING.

HI, MOM. HI.

HEY, YOU LOOK GREAT. THANKS.

BETTER THAN YOU EVER DID.

OK, THIS IS BEGINNING TO
SOUND LIKE OPERATION SNOW JOB.

DID REPORT CARDS COME IN TODAY?

(children) MMM-MMM.

WE JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW HAPPY
WE ARE ABOUT YOU LOOKING SO GOOD.

ALICE, WHAT'S FOR DESSERT?

WHY, DID YOU HAVE A CRAVING
FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL?

WATERMELON A LA MODE, MAYBE?

UGH! A WATERMELON A LA MODE?

THAT IS A WEIRD
COMBINATION, ALICE.

YEAH, BUT DID YOU
HAVE A CRAVING FOR IT?

OK, I DEMAND TO KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE.

WELL, IF YOU INSIST, MRS. BRADY.

[chuckles] WE KNOW ABOUT
THE NEW FAMILY ADDITION,

AND WE'RE ALL
VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT.

OH, YOU'VE HEARD ABOUT OLIVER.

OLIVER? WON'T THAT BE KIND
OF A FUNNY NAME IF IT'S A GIRL?

WAIT A MINUTE.

IS THIS FAMILY UNDER THE IMPRESSION
THAT I'M GONNA HAVE A BABY?

AREN'T YOU UNDER
THAT IMPRESSION?

[laughing] OLIVER IS MY NEPHEW,

AND HE'S JUST COMING TO
LIVE WITH US FOR A WHILE.

OH, WELL, IN THAT CASE, I'D
BETTER MAKE A FAST PHONE CALL

AND CANCEL THAT ORDER.
[laughing] WHAT ORDER, ALICE?

THE TEENY TINY
TOT DIAPER SERVICE.

[laughing]

OH, WAIT TILL THOSE
GIRLS FIND OUT

THEY SET THE DISHES FOR NOTHING.

[laughing]

NOW, REMEMBER, KIDS,
OLIVER IS AN ONLY CHILD,

AND IT MAY TAKE HIM A
WHILE TO GET USED TO HAVING

6 BROTHERS AND SISTERS AROUND.

WELL, WE'LL MAKE HIM
FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.

SURE, MOM.

I'M SO GLAD YOU KIDS ARE HAPPY
HE'S COMING TO STAY WITH US.

HEY, CINDY, NOW YOU AND
ME WON'T BE THE YOUNGEST.

WE'LL HAVE SOMEBODY
TO PUSH AROUND. BOBBY.

HERE WE ARE!

(Carol) OLIVER!

(Greg) HEY, OLIVER!

[all cheering]

OH, HONEY, WELCOME
TO YOUR NEW FAMILY.

WELL, THANKS, AUNT CAROL.

(Bobby) HEY, OLIVER,
LET'S PLAY BASKETBALL.

(Cindy) NO, LET'S
GO ON THE SWINGS.

(Mike) HEY, KIDS, KIDS!
HE'S NOT A WISHBONE.

OH, IT'S OK, UNCLE MIKE.
I LIKE BEING POPULAR.

HEY, OLIVER, YOU
MOVED IN AT A GREAT TIME.

WE GOING ON A TOUR OF
A MOVIE STUDIO SATURDAY.

THAT'S RIGHT. (all) YEAH.

WOW! I SHOULD HAVE MOVED
IN WITH YOU GUYS YEARS AGO!

COME ON, OLIVER,
LET'S GO OUTSIDE.

(Bobby) COME ON, LET'S
GO SHOOT SOME BASKETS.

OH, MIKE, I THINK OLIVER'S
GONNA BE VERY HAPPY HERE.

WELL, THE KIDS ARE GIVING
HIM A WARM WELCOME.

CAN I WATCH?

SURE. CINDY, HAND
ME THOSE BRUSHES.

OH, I'LL GET 'EM.

OLIVER, YOU RUINED MY PAINTING!

GEE, I'M SORRY. I WAS
JUST TRYING TO HELP.

ALICE, YOU CERTAINLY
FEED US WELL.

CAREFUL YOU DON'T
BUILD THAT TOO HIGH.

THIS CITY IS BUILT ON
AN EARTHQUAKE FAULT.

I'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN.

CAN I HELP?

NO, THANKS. I'LL GET IT.

NO, I'M REAL GOOD AT KETCHUP.

YOU GOT TO HIT THE
BOTTOM REAL HARD, LIKE THIS.

THINK YOU GOT THE
HANG OF IT NOW, GREG?

CAN I HELP?

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
OLIVER. I CAN HANDLE IT.

BUT I'M ONE OF THE FAMILY
NOW. I'M SUPPOSED TO HELP.

UH, UH, OLIVER,
IT'S OK. I CAN GET IT.

WELL, IF YOU INSIST.

OH, GEE, I'M SORRY. I
WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP.

[tittering]

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THE WORST DAD CAN DO IS KILL ME.

[laughing] HI.

[sighing]

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S A 6-FOOT BY 5-FOOT AFGHAN.

[laughing] YOU'RE
SHORT A FEW FEET.

[laughing]

UNCLE MIKE, AUNT CAROL,
CAN I SAY SOMETHING?

WELL, SURE. WELL, SURE YOU CAN.

GO AHEAD. WHAT IS IT?

WELL, I JUST WANTED
TO SAY GOOD NIGHT

AND THANK YOU FOR LETTING
ME STAY HERE WITH YOU GUYS.

OH, OLIVER, WE'RE SO THRILLED TO
HAVE YOU HERE WITH US. WE SURE ARE.

AND YOU GO ON UPSTAIRS
AND GET INTO BED.

WE'LL BE UP IN A
MINUTE TO TUCK YOU IN.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

TOMORROW WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU
WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY.

I BET YOU MISS THEM, HUH?

YEAH, BUT WHEN YOU
GET TO BE AS BIG AS I AM,

YOU UNDERSTAND
THOSE KIND OF THINGS.

WE FIGURED YOU WOULD.

ANYWAY, I REALLY LIKE IT HERE.

IT'S SUPER. GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, HONEY. GOOD NIGHT.

(Carol) OH, OH, OLIVER! OLIVER!

OH, STOP, OLIVER! OH!

OH, MY POOR AFGHAN!

GEE, I'M SORRY. IT GOT, UH,
TANGLED AROUND MY FOOT.

THAT'S OK, OLIVER. IT
WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

WELL, LOOK ON THE
BRIGHT SIDE, HONEY.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE
TIME TO FINISH THAT ANYWAY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

WELL, I HAVE A YEAR-OLD
HAND-KNIT SOCK TO PROVE IT.

OH, YEAH? YEAH.

[snoring]

[whispering] HEY, PETE.

PETE, YOU SLEEPING?

ARE YOU KIDDING? WHO CAN
SLEEP WITH THAT BUZZ SAW GOING?

YEAH, FOR A LITTLE GUY,
HE SURE SNORES BIG.

HE SOUNDS LIKE THE M.G.M. LION.

HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET ANY SLEEP?

I READ ONCE WHERE YOU CAN STOP PEOPLE
FROM SNORING BY ROLLING THEM OVER.

LET'S TRY IT. ALL RIGHT.

[Oliver snoring]

HE'S HEAVIER THAN HE LOOKS.

[exclaims]

[crashing]

WOULD YOU GUYS BE A
LITTLE BIT MORE QUIET?

A GUY CAN'T GET ANY
SLEEP AROUND HERE.

[both sighing]

I'M TELLING YOU,
OLIVER IS A JINX.

[chuckles] OH, COME ON.

WHAT ABOUT THE KETCHUP
HE DOUSED YOU WITH?

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE
FLOWER POTS HE MADE ME BUST?

[sighing] WELL...

(Peter) AND THE LAMP LAST NIGHT?

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT OLIVER?

YEAH. HE'S A DISASTER AREA,

AND I'VE GOT A
PAINTING TO PROVE IT.

JAN, THAT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE
DISHES HE MADE YOU DROP?

WELL, I GUESS THAT
WAS AN ACCIDENT, TOO.

HOW COME WE'RE HAVING ALL OF THESE
ACCIDENTS ONLY SINCE OLIVER MOVED IN?

(Bobby) YEAH, I LIKE
OLIVER, BUT HE'S A JINX.

(Cindy) SURE LOOKS LIKE THAT.

(Jan) I WISH HE COULD HAVE
STAYED WITH SOME OTHER RELATIVES.

(Peter) YEAH, BUT I GUESS THERE'S
NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

WE'RE STUCK WITH HIM.

[shouting] OH, ALICE, IF YOU NEED
ME, I'LL BE OUT BACK, GARDENING.

[birds chirping]

OLIVER, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING IN THERE?

BETTER NOT COME
NEAR ME, AUNT CAROL.

WHY NOT?

SOMETHING BAD WILL
HAPPEN. I'M A JINX.

A JINX?

OK, OLIVER, WHAT'S GOING ON?

I TOLD YOU, I'M BAD LUCK.

IF I FOUND A 4-LEAF CLOVER,

IT WOULD PROBABLY
TURN OUT TO BE POISON IVY.

OLIVER, WHO GAVE YOU THE
IDEA THAT YOU WERE A JINX?

THE OTHER KIDS. I
HEARD THEM TALKING.

WHAT'D THEY SAY?

THEY SAID WHEREVER I GO, TERRIBLE
THINGS HAPPEN, AND THEY'RE RIGHT.

I'M BAD NEWS.

WELL, I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS.

WE'RE GOING TO SOLVE
YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT NOW.

COME ON, MR. JINX.

[Carol laughing]

(Mike) OLIVER, TAKE
MY WORD FOR IT.

THERE IS NO SUCH
THING AS A JINX.

WE THINK IT'S GOOD LUCK
TO HAVE YOU HERE WITH US.

I THOUGHT SO, TOO,

BUT THERE SURE IS A LOT OF
EVIDENCE ON THE OTHER SIDE.

[chuckling] WELL...

LOOK, MAYBE YOU DID CAUSE
A COUPLE OF MINOR ACCIDENTS,

BUT THAT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.

I KNOW, BUT I'M VERY GOOD AT IT.

OLIVER, ANYONE WHO BELIEVES
IN A JINX IS JUST SUPERSTITIOUS.

THAT'S ME. AND I WAS TRYING SO
HARD TO MAKE EVERYBODY LIKE ME.

OH, OLIVER, EVERYBODY
DOES LIKE YOU.

NOW YOU JUST FORGET ALL
ABOUT THIS JINX BUSINESS. PROMISE?

WELL, I'M WILLING TO FORGET
IT IF THE OTHER KIDS ARE.

NOW, THAT I CAN GUARANTEE.

I'M SURPRISED AT YOU.

YOU HAD POOR OLIVER SHAKEN UP.

WELL, WE HAD NO IDEA
HE WAS LISTENING, DAD.

OR ELSE WE WOULD'VE
CLOSED THE WINDOW.

HONEY, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING PERSONAL
AGAINST HIM, DAD. HE'S A NICE KID.

BUT IT'S JUST SORT OF WEIRD BEING
FIRST COUSIN TO A CATASTROPHE.

OLIVER IS NOT A CATASTROPHE.
OLIVER IS NOT A JINX.

LOOK, UH, THOSE
ACCIDENTS HAPPENED

BECAUSE HE'S JUST TRYING TOO
HARD TO BE HELPFUL, THAT'S ALL.

OR THEY'RE COINCIDENCES.

I GUESS DAD'S RIGHT.

NOW, REMEMBER THIS. FOR
THE TIME BEING AT LEAST,

OLIVER IS A MEMBER
OF THIS FAMILY.

AND WHAT WE DO, HE DOES,
AND WHERE WE GO, HE GOES.

IS THAT CLEAR?

(children) YEAH. OK.

NOW START MAKING OLIVER
FEEL LIKE HE BELONGS.

BOY, I GUESS THAT MEANS
OLIVER HAS TO COME WITH US

ON THE TOUR OF THE
MOVIE STUDIO SATURDAY.

YEAH.

I SURE HOPE WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE
OF THOSE SO-CALLED COINCIDENCES.

YEAH. JUST WHEN WE ASK FOR AN
AUTOGRAPH, WE'LL GET HIT BY A TRUCK.

CAN WE HELP YOU PAINT IT?

I'VE GOT TO DO IT MYSELF. I GET A
GRADE ON IT FOR MY CLASS PROJECT.

(Peter) OVER HIS
HEAD! OVER HIS HEAD!

(Greg) COME ON, BOBBY!

PASS IT, PASS IT, GO! NOT THERE!

HI.

HI. HI.

HEY, OLIVER, HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE TO LEARN ABOUT CERAMICS?

MMM, NO, THANKS.

OH, COME ON, OLIVER. IT'S FUN.

I BETTER NOT. I MIGHT
BRING YOU SOME BAD LUCK.

OH, YOU WON'T. DAD
SAID YOU'RE NOT A JINX.

WELL, LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

[boys chattering]

I COULD STEAL THE
BALL RIGHT NOW...

HEY, OLIVER, HOW
ABOUT PLAYING WITH US?

YOU AND ME AGAINST
THESE 2 CLOWNS.

NO. I JUST BETTER WATCH.

COME ON, OLIVER. WE
NEED ANOTHER GUY.

NO, I'LL BUST THE
BALL OR SOMETHING!

NO, YOU WON'T. THAT JINX
STUFF IS SILLY SUPERSTITION.

COME ON, WE WANT YOU TO PLAY.

YOU REALLY MEAN IT? SURE, WE DO.

LET'S SHOW THESE BUMS
HOW TO PLAY BASKETBALL.

COME ON, BOBBY. PASS IT!

[Oliver cheering] ALL RIGHT!

YOU WERE LUCKY.

LUCKY, MY FOOT.

COME ON, OLIVER,
GO GET IT. GET IT.

GET IT, STEAL IT!

(Greg) OH, BOY, NEVER, NEVER.

[boys chattering]

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

OH, HONEY, THE BOYS ARE OUTSIDE
PLAYING BASKETBALL WITH OLIVER.

WHATEVER YOU SAID SURE WORKED.

[chuckles] YEAH, GOOD.

WELL, I'M JUST GONNA TAKE
THIS DOWN TO THE OFFICE.

I WON'T BE GONE LONG.
OH, HONEY, CAN I SEE?

THAT LOOKS TERRIFIC.
YEAH, WELL, IT SHOULD.

IT TOOK ME ALMOST AS LONG TO
MAKE IT AS IT WILL THE REAL BUILDING.

WHAT IS THIS? OH, THOSE
ARE THE FOUNTAINS.

SEE, AND I'VE RIGGED IT WHERE
YOU CAN PUT REAL WATER IN THERE

AND THE LITTLE
FOUNTAINS SHOOT UP.

THIS WHOLE SIDE COMES OFF, AND
YOU CAN SEE THE LITTLE PEOPLE IN THERE,

AND THE LIGHTS WORK. OH, HONEY.

(Peter) OVER HIS
HEAD! OVER HIS HEAD!

OVER HERE, GREG!

(Greg) NO! NOT THERE!

TAKE IT!

SHOOT!

OLIVER!

[shattering]

[crashing]

(Marcia) OLIVER!

HONEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'M FINE, BUT...

I THINK I JUST CONVERTED
MY HIGH-RISE INTO A LOW-RISE.

OH. I'M SORRY.

OH, GEE, AND THE ELEVATORS
WORKED AND EVERYTHING.

(Cindy) BOY, I HOPE WE SEE A
LOT OF MOVIE STARS ON THE TOUR.

(Marcia) IF I RUN INTO
ROBERT REDFORD, I'LL FAINT.

(Jan) ME, TOO!

(Alice) I'LL BEAT YOU
BOTH TO THE GROUND.

(Greg) IS EVERYBODY HERE?

WHERE'S OLIVER? OLIVER!

OLIVER!

COME ON, OLIVER.

I THINK I BETTER STAY
HOME, AUNT CAROL.

BUT, OLIVER, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE SO EXCITED

ABOUT GOING TO THE MOVIE STUDIO.

THAT WAS BEFORE I
TURNED INTO A JINX.

BUT I THOUGHT WE
WERE OVER ALL THAT.

ME, TOO. BUT IT HAPPENED AGAIN.

WELL, OK, THAT'S IT.

IF OLIVER'S NOT GOING, I'M NOT
GOING, EITHER. RIGHT, GREG?

RIGHT. AND IF YOU'RE
NOT GOIN', I'M NOT GOIN'.

RIGHT, ALICE?

OH, RIGHT, GREG. IF YOU
AND MRS. BRADY AREN'T GOING,

I'M NOT GOING, EITHER.

RIGHT, BOBBY?

WRONG. I'M GOING.

BOBBY!

[sighing] JUST KIDDING.

SEE, OLIVER, NOW IF YOU DON'T
COME, NOBODY'S GONNA GO.

SEE. OK, I'LL GO.

BUT YOU'RE ALL DOING
THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK.

WE'LL TAKE OUR CHANCES. OK.

(Greg) COME ON, OLIVER.

EVERYBODY PUT YOUR SEAT
BELT ON FOR THE SPEED TOUR.

[Bradys laughing]

[people chattering]

(Carol) STAY... STAY
TOGETHER, KIDS.

WE'RE ALL TOGETHER.

ALL RIGHT.

2, 4, 6, 7, UH...
IS THAT 8 OR 9?

9.

WELL, UH, MAY I ASK YOUR NAME?

CAROL BRADY.

UH, MISS BRADY, UH...

[laughing] THAT'S MRS. BRADY.

MRS. BRADY, WOULD YOU PLEASE STEP THROUGH
THE GATE AND TO ONE SIDE FOR A MOMENT.

IS SOMETHING WRONG? OH, HARDLY.

(Greg) WHAT'S GOING ON?

[all mumbling]

(Carol) LOOK AT THAT.

[all chattering]

I WONDER WHAT MOVIE
SHE'S IN. OH, JUST WATCH IT.

WHAT'S THIS ALL
ABOUT, MRS. BRADY?

WHAT'S GOING ON? I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, WHY'D HE CALL US OVER...

I'M JIM DOUGLAS, AND I'M IN
CHARGE OF MARATHON STUDIO TOURS.

CONGRATULATIONS, MRS. BRADY.

WELL, WHAT FOR?

WELL, YOU HAVE 9
PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP

AND THE 9TH IS THE
ONE-MILLIONTH VISITOR

TO COME THROUGH OUR GATES,

SO YOU WIN THE GRAND PRIZE.

[all exclaiming]

OH! WELL, WHAT IS THE
GRAND PRIZE, MR. DOUGLAS?

WELL, YOU ALL GET TO APPEAR
IN A MARATHON STUDIO MOVIE.

[all exclaiming]

[all chattering]

WAIT A SECOND, KIDS. WE'RE
REALLY SO THRILLED WITH THIS HONOR.

(Jan) ARE WE GONNA BE ACTORS?

WELL, NOT EXACTLY ACTORS.
YOU'LL ALL BE EXTRAS.

THAT IS, IF YOU WANT
TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN.

[all exclaiming]

WE'RE ALL GAME, HUH, KIDS?

(all) YES.

OK, WONDERFUL. IF YOU'LL ALL
STEP UPSTAIRS TO WARDROBE,

THEY'LL TAKE CARE
OF YOU UP THERE.

OH, THANKS, OLIVER.

BECAUSE OF YOU,
WE'RE 9 INSTEAD OF 8.

IF IT WASN'T FOR OLIVER, THE PEOPLE
BEHIND US WOULD'VE BEEN IN THE MOVIE.

STILL FEEL LIKE A JINX?

(Oliver) NOT ANYMORE!

[Alice laughing]

OK, EVERYBODY, WE'RE
GONNA GO FOR A TAKE.

NOW, REMEMBER, UH, BRADY FAMILY,

THIS IS A TAKE-OFF ON
AN OLD-TIME SILENT MOVIE.

NOW YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO?

(Marcia) RIGHT. WE HOPE SO!

OK, GOOD.

NOW TAKE YOUR PLACES
AND HAVE A LOT OF FUN WITH IT.

OH, AND DON'T
LOOK AT THE CAMERA.

ALL RIGHT? (all) ALL RIGHT.

OK, ROLL 'EM!

[all chattering]

[all laughing]

ALL RIGHT, READY?

AND ACTION.

♪ [all humming]

[all chattering]

OK, NOW YOU HEAR THE
CAR ACCIDENT. CRASH!

NOW REACT! NOW REACT!

[all screaming]

OK, NOW MOVE OFF
TOWARDS THE CAR.

[all clamoring]

[men shouting]

[exclaiming]

WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'. IF I CAN'T
MAKE MY DELIVERIES, I'M OUT OF BUSINESS!

LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FENDER!

YOU RUINED ME!

[laughing]

[laughing]

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

[laughing]

[exclaiming]

[laughing]

KEEP IT GOING, KEEP
IT GOING, KEEP IT GOING.

[laughing]

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, OLIVER.

[exclaiming]

OK, CUT! CUT! CUT! HOLD
IT... HOLD IT... HOLD IT!

TERRIFIC! THAT'S JUST TERRIFIC!

PERFECT.

[exclaiming]

[laughing]

HI, OLIVER.

HI.

HMM, WRITING A LETTER?

YEAH, TO MY FOLKS. I TOLD
THEM ALL ABOUT BEING IN A MOVIE

AND HOW MUCH I LIKE
BEING HERE WITH EVERYBODY.

WELL, THAT'S NICE. WE LIKE
HAVING YOU HERE WITH US.

RIGHT AFTER I FINISH,
I'LL TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

IT'S BOBBY'S TURN TO
TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

OH, HE SHOVED IT OFF ON ME, JUST
LIKE HE MADE ME SWEEP UP THE GARAGE.

WELL, THAT ISN'T
VERY NICE OF HIM.

OH, I DON'T MIND, ON
ACCOUNT OF THE LIZARD.

WHAT LIZARD?

THE ONE I'M GOING
TO PUT IN HIS BED.

OH.

JUST MAKE SURE IT'S OUT
BEFORE I CHANGE THE SHEETS.