The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 5, Episode 16 - Out of This World - full transcript

♪ HERE'S THE STORY ♪

♪ OF A LOVELY LADY ♪

♪ WHO WAS BRINGING UP
THREE VERY LOVELY GIRLS ♪

♪ ALL OF THEM HAD HAIR OF GOLD ♪

♪ LIKE THEIR MOTHER ♪

♪ THE YOUNGEST ONE IN CURLS ♪

♪ IT'S THE STORY OF
A MAN NAMED BRADY ♪

♪ WHO WAS BUSY WITH
THREE BOYS OF HIS OWN ♪

♪ THEY WERE FOUR MEN
LIVING ALL TOGETHER ♪

♪ YET THEY WERE ALL ALONE ♪

♪ TILL THE ONE DAY WHEN
THE LADY MET THIS FELLOW ♪



♪ AND THEY KNEW THAT IT WAS
MUCH MORE THAN A HUNCH ♪

♪ THAT THIS GROUP MUST
SOMEHOW FORM A FAMILY ♪

♪ THAT'S THE WAY WE ALL
BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

♪ THAT'S THE WAY WE
BECAME THE BRADY BUNCH ♪

I'M SURE YOU ALL
REMEMBER, JIM McDIVITT,

WHO IS 1 OF THE 2 ASTRONAUTS
ON THE 2ND GEMINI FLIGHT

WHICH HAPPENED TO BE THE
8TH MANNED SPACE FLIGHT.

WELL, I'M YOUR HOST,
MARIO MACHADO,

AND THE SHOW IS NEWS EVENT,

AND WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS THE
CURRENT RASH OF U.F.O. SIGHTINGS.

OUR SPECIAL GUEST, NOW,
BRIGADIER GENERAL JIM McDIVITT

NOT ONLY WAS A FORMER ASTRONAUT,



HE ALSO CLAIMS TO HAVE SEEN
AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT.

FIRST, WELCOME HERE.

WHEN WAS THAT, GENERAL?

IT WAS DURING THE
FLIGHT OF GEMINI 4, MARIO,

IN JUNE OF 1965.

COULD YOU DESCRIBE
THIS U.F.O. FOR US?

YES, IT WAS A WHITE OBJECT.

IT IF HAD BEEN
ABOUT, OH, THAT HIGH,

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
ABOUT THAT BIG AROUND

AND HAD A LONG WHITE
TUBE STICKING OUT OF IT.

ANY IDEA WHAT IT WAS?

I TRIED TO TAKE SOME PICTURES,

BUT BECAUSE OF THE
WAY THE CAMERA WAS SET,

AND THE WAY THE LIGHT WAS
SHINING ON THE WINDSHIELD,

WE NEVER REALLY
GOT ANYTHING BACK

EXCEPT A COUPLE BEAUTIFUL
SUN SPOTS ON THE WINDOW,

NOTHING ELSE.

YET YOU STILL BELIEVE
THAT... THAT IT WAS A U.F.O.

THAT YOU SAW ON
THAT FLIGHT IN ORBIT.

WELL, IT AS A U.F.O., THAT MEANS
UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT.

WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS LIFE FROM
ANOTHER PLANET, I DON'T REALLY KNOW.

GENERAL, LET ME
LAY IT ON THE LINE.

ARE YOU SAYING...

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT LIFE EXISTS
ELSEWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE?

YES, MARIO, I REALLY DO.

UH, I THINK IT
WOULD BE VERY NAIVE

AND REALLY
SUPER-EGOTISTICAL ON OUR PART

TO BELIEVE THAT WE'RE
THE ONLY FORM OF LIFE

IN ALL THIS VAST, VAST
UNIVERSE IN WHICH WE LIVE.

HERE YOU ARE. THANKS.

COULD YOU SIGN IT, "TO MY
GOOD FRIEND, PETER BRADY"?

SURE THING.

I'M HIS BROTHER, BOBBY.
MAKE ME A GOOD FRIEND, TOO.

SURE THING, BOBBY. I CAN
ALWAYS USE ANOTHER GOOD FRIEND.

THAT U.F.O. YOU SAW, WERE
THERE ANY PEOPLE IN IT?

I'M NOT REALLY SURE. I NEVER GOT
CLOSE ENOUGH TO FIND OUT, BOBBY.

BUT THERE COULD
HAVE BEEN, RIGHT?

OH, YES, ALWAYS POSSIBLE. IT'S
ALWAYS POSSIBLE. THAT'S MY THEORY, TOO.

THANKS, GENERAL.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

I'LL TRY, I'LL TRY.
TAKE IT EASY, BOYS. OK.

WOW, I'M NOT GOING TO
WASH THAT HAND FOR A MONTH.

BIG DEAL. YOU WOULDN'T
WASH IT, ANYWAY.

[crickets chirping]

[whooshing]

HEY, PETE, WAKE UP.

DO YOU HEAR A WEIRD NOISE?

YEAH, YOU YAPPING.

NO, FOR REAL. LISTEN.

[whooshing]

HEY, I DO HEAR A WEIRD NOISE.

IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S
COMING FROM OUTSIDE.

IT'S GONE.

THAT COULDN'T HAVE
BEEN AN AIRPLANE.

NOT MOVING LIKE THAT.

BOBBY, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT WE JUST SAW?

YEAH, A U.F.O.!

A REAL, LIVE UNIDENTIFIED
FLYING OBJECT!

WOW.

AAGH! CINDY. CINDY, CAN YOU GRAB
THE 2 BOTTOM ONES? BOTTOM ONES...

SOMEBODY ALMOST HAD
APPLE SAUCE FOR LUNCH.

BOY, YOU GUYS
SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT.

IT ZIPPED BACK AND FORTH
AND THEN UP AND DOWN.

AND THEN IT JUST
HUNG THERE IN SPACE.

WE SAW THAT U.F.O.
AS PLAIN AS DAY.

EXCEPT IT WAS NIGHT.

DID YOU SEE LITTLE,
GREEN PEOPLE, TOO?

WELL, THERE HAD TO
BE SOMEBODY INSIDE IT.

WELL, IF I ZIPPED BACK AND
FORTH AND UP AND DOWN

AND HUNG THERE IN SPACE, I'D
BE LITTLE, GREEN PEOPLE, TOO.

IT WAS PROBABLY A
HELICOPTER YOU SAW.

WITHOUT A PROPELLER?

THEN I BET IT WAS A BLIMP.

HOW CAN IT BE A BLIMP? IT DIDN'T
HAVE ANY ADVERTISING ON IT.

HEY, GREG. GOOD MORNING.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR LIP?

[chuckles] I CUT MYSELF SHAVING.

YEAH, EVERY TIME HE
LOOKS IN THE MIRROR,

HE GETS CARRIED
AWAY WITH HIMSELF.

[laughing]

VERY FUNNY. HEY, WHAT'S
THE BIG DISCUSSION?

PETER AND I SAW
A U.F.O. LAST NIGHT.

DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. MY LIP.

NO, WE REALLY DID SEE ONE.

I READ IN THE NEWSPAPER WHERE A
PSYCHOLOGIST THINKS THAT SEEING U.F.O.'s

IS NOTHING MORE
THAN MASS HYSTERIA.

THIS WASN'T ANY MASS. IT
WAS JUST ME AND BOBBY.

YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY
WITNESSES TO PROVE THAT YOU SAW IT.

SURE WE DO. I'M PETER'S
WITNESS, AND HE'S MINE.

IF YOU ASK ME, I THINK
THEY'RE BOTH NUTS.

WELL, NOBODY ASKED YOU.

WE HAPPEN TO BE GOOD FRIENDS OF
A REAL ASTRONAUT WHO SAW A U.F.O.

WELL, I'LL BELIEVE U.F.O.'s
EXIST WHEN I SEE ONE.

OR AT LEAST A GENUINE
PICTURE OF ONE.

RIGHT.

(all) BYE, ALICE.

YOU BELIEVE THERE'S
U.F.O.'s, DON'T YOU, ALICE?

IF I CAN STILL BELIEVE I'M 28 AND WEIGH
103 POUNDS, I CAN BELIEVE ANYTHING.

GO TO SCHOOL. YEAH, WAIT
TILL THE GUYS AT SCHOOL HEAR.

(Bobby) YEAH, IT ZIPPED BACK
AND FORTH AND UP AND DOWN.

(Peter) AND THEN
JUST HUNG THERE...

HMM, HOW'S THAT, MRS. BRADY?

OH, ALICE, THE FOCUS IS SO CLEAR

I CAN SEE THE FUZZ
ON THAT PEACH.

YOU WANT TO SHOOT
IT OR SHAVE IT?

LET'S SHOOT IT.

OK, FELLAS, THIS IS A TAKE.

OH, ALICE, NOW I
CAN'T SEE THE GRAPES.

THAT BETTER?

NO, ALICE, NOW I CAN'T
SEE THE ORANGES.

WHY DON'T WE JUST
CHOP THE WHOLE THING UP

AND MAKE FRUIT SALAD OUT OF IT,

THEN YOU COULD SEE EVERYTHING.

THANKS, ALICE. LOOK,
I'LL FIX IT MYSELF, OK?

HI, MR. BRADY. HI, ALICE

HI, HONEY. HELLO, SWEETHEART.

OH, OH, MIKE, NO, NO, PLEASE!

YOU CAN HAVE THE APPLE
BACK. CAN I HAVE MY TEETH BACK?

SHE'S TRYING TO PHOTOGRAPH THE
FRUIT FOR HER CONTEST, MR. BRADY.

OH! I SEE.

WELL, IF YOU ASK ME, YOUR
ARRANGEMENT LOOKS A LITTLE, UM,

STAGED AND FORMAL.

WELL, LOOK, HOW DO YOU TELL A BOWL
OF FRUIT TO RELAX AND LOOK CASUAL?

BESIDES,

I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU.

[footsteps approaching]

HI, MOM.

HI. HI.

HEY, KIDS, WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU'RE EATING MY PICTURE!

[sighing]

YOU'D THINK GUYS IN JUNIOR
HIGH SCHOOL WOULD BE SMARTER.

YEAH, THE GUYS IN MY SCHOOL
PROBABLY THINK THE WORLD'S STILL FLAT.

HELLO, BOYS. IS SOMETHING WRONG?

YEAH, NOBODY IN MY SCHOOL
BELIEVES I SAW A U.F.O.

THEY LAUGHED AT ME IN MY SCHOOL.

WELL, YOU BOYS BELIEVE
WHAT YOU WANT TO BELIEVE

AND LET THEM BELIEVE
WHAT THEY WANT TO BELIEVE.

MOM, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
OUR REPUTATIONS ARE AT STAKE.

THEY THINK WE'RE LYING.
YEAH! MORE THAN USUAL.

WE NEED SOME
PROOF WE SAW A U.F.O.

WELL, IF IT SHOWS UP AGAIN
ASK FLASH BRADY HERE.

SHE'LL TAKE SOME
PICTURES OF IT FOR YOU.

HEY, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!

MOM, CAN WE BORROW YOUR CAMERA
TONIGHT? MAYBE IT WILL SHOW UP AGAIN.

[sighing] OH, ALL RIGHT.

BUT, TAKE GOOD CARE OF IT, OK?

WE'LL TAKE SUPER CARE OF IT.

WE'LL CAMP OUT IN THE BACKYARD,

AND IF IT SHOWS UP, WE'LL
HAVE ALL THE PROOF WE NEED.

HOLD IT, FELLAS.

NOT SO FAST ABOUT THE BACKYARD.

OH, PLEASE, DAD?

WE SLEEP IN OUR SLEEPING
BAGS WHEN WE GO CAMPING.

YEAH, AND THIS IS RIGHT IN
OUR OWN BACKYARD. PLEASE?

WELL, OK, YOU CAN CAMP
OUT BUT ON 2 CONDITIONS.

2 CONDITIONS?

RIGHT. 1, YOU PROMISE TO GET SOME
SLEEP 'CAUSE TONIGHT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT.

AND 2,

WHEN A U.F.O. LANDS, DON'T WAKE
US UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

TO GO OUT AND GREET THEM.

(both) OK.

YOU SURE YOU KNOW
HOW TO WORK THAT THING?

YEAH, MOM SHOWED ME.

YOU GOT ANY FILM
IN IT? OF COURSE.

IT'S PRETTY DARK OUT HERE.
YOU GOT THE RIGHT OPENING ON IT?

IT'S OPENED ALL THE WAY.

REMEMBER THE LENS CAP.
DON'T FORGET ABOUT THAT.

BOBBY, I TOOK OFF THE LENS CAP.

NOW IT'S ALL SET.

NOW WHY DON'T YOU GET TO
SLEEP, AND I'LL TAKE FIRST WATCH?

HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME
TO SLEEP AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

OK, THEN YOU WATCH EAST,
AND I'LL WATCH THE WEST.

GOOD IDEA!

WHICH WAY'S EAST? OVER THERE.

HEY, DID THE U.F.O. LAND YET?

(Bobby) NO. DO YOU SEE ONE?

OH, WELL, WE THOUGHT THAT MAYBE
YOU HID IT IN YOUR SLEEPING BAGS.

LOOK, IF YOU JUST CAME OUT HERE
TO MAKE JOKES, YOU CAN LEAVE.

YEAH.

OH, WE BELIEVE IN
FLYING OBJECTS, PETER.

IT'S JUST THAT FLYING
OBJECTS DON'T BELIEVE IN US.

LISTEN, IF YOU GUYS AREN'T
OUT OF HERE IN 3 SECONDS,

YOU'RE BOTH GOING
TO BE FLYING OBJECTS.

OOH, QUIVER. QUAKE, QUAKE.

BLAST OFF!

[crickets chirping]

IT'S GETTING PRETTY LATE.

YEAH.

U.F.O.'s ARE SURE UNDEPENDABLE.

[whooshing]

THE U.F.O.!

IT'S BACK!

DON'T JUST LIE
THERE, TAKE A PICTURE!

COME ON! GET OUT!

HURRY UP!

[camera clicking]

[whooshing]

YOU GETTING GOOD PICTURES?

YEAH, BUT I WISH
IT'D STAND STILL.

[whooshing]

GREG, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH THAT FLASHLIGHT?

UM, I WAS SCARING A
CAT OFF THE BACK FENCE.

HEY, IT'S GONE.

JUST DISAPPEARED INTO NOTHING.

[crickets chirping]

I DON'T SEE ANY CAT.

WELL, OF COURSE
NOT. I SCARED IT AWAY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU WANTED TO BORROW MY
THERMOS FOR YOUR FISHING TRIP.

OH, YEAH, THANKS.

KEEP LOOKING. THAT
U.F.O. MIGHT COME BACK.

SO YOU'RE THE U.F.O.

ISN'T THAT KIND
OF A DIRTY TRICK?

I WAS JUST GETTING
EVEN WITH THOSE 2 CREEPS

FOR TELLING MOM AND DAD I
GOT HOME LATE SATURDAY NIGHT.

WELL, IT'S STILL A DIRTY TRICK,

BUT I LOVE IT BECAUSE THEY
SQUEALED ON ME LAST WEEK, TOO.

[both laughing]

HOW DOES IT WORK?
LET ME SHOW YOU.

I STRUNG UP A
PIECE OF FISHING LINE

OVER THE ARBOR
BETWEEN THOSE TREES.

THEN I HID A CLEAR PLASTIC
CURTAIN BEHIND ONE OF THE TREES.

I USE THIS CORD TO PULL IT OUT.

THEN I JUST FLASH
THIS RED LIGHT ON IT,

BLOW THIS WHISTLE,

AND PRESTO. INSTANT U.F.O.

[whooshing]

PETER, THE UFO!

I SEE IT!

HURRY UP, TAKE PICTURES!

GREG, YOU'RE A GENIUS!

CAN I TRY IT?

OK. HOLD IT STEADY.

OK.

LIKE THAT?

YEAH, AND DON'T
HIT THE TREES. OK.

[camera clicking]

WOW! BOY, ARE THESE
GOING TO BE GREAT PICTURES!

YEAH, WAIT TILL THE
GUYS AT SCHOOL SEE THEM!

WAIT TILL THE WORLD SEES THEM!

WE'LL BE FAMOUS!

TAKE PICTURES!

HEY, YOU WANT TO
SEE YOUR 12 KIDS?

12? HOW DID WE GET 12?

I DOUBLE-EXPOSED
THE NEGATIVE. LOOK.

[banging at door]

COME IN.

DAD, WE SAW IT AGAIN!

THE U.F.O. WAS HERE!

AND THIS TIME WE
GOT PROOF ON FILM!

OH, BOYS, YOU REALLY
THINK YOU SAW SOMETHING?

HONEST, DAD. DOUBLE HONEST.

MOM, WILL YOU DEVELOP
THE FILM FOR US?

SURE, FIRST THING
IN THE MORNING.

WE MEAN NOW.

OH, HONEY, IT'S LATE AND
EVERYTHING'S PUT AWAY. IN THE MORNING.

BUT THE MORNING'S
A LONG WAY OFF.

WE'LL TOSS AND TURN ALL
NIGHT. WE WON'T GET ANY SLEEP.

WE'LL RISK IT. HIT THE SACK.

GOOD NIGHT, BOYS. SLEEP WELL.

MIKE, WHAT DO YOU
SUPPOSE THEY REALLY SAW?

BEATS ME.

DO YOU THINK THERE ARE U.F.O.'s?

WELL, ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE.

[sighing]

[U.F.O. humming]

[electronic warbling]

ONE SMALL STEP FOR SPACEMEN,

ONE GIANT STEP FOR KAPLUTIANS.

COME ON, HONEY.

LOOK, HERLO, SPACE CREATURE.

STRANGE LOOKING.

[exclaims]

ROUND HEAD, WEIRD, WHITE COLOR.

HMM.

ARE YOU FRIEND OR ENEMY?

OH, I'M A FRIEND.
WELCOME TO EARTH.

EARTH? IS THAT WHAT
THEY CALL THIS PLANET?

UH-HUH. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

OH, WE'RE FROM KAPLUTUS.

KAPLUTUS? WHERE'S THAT?

EVERYBODY KNOWS
WHERE KAPLUTUS IS.

IT'S BETWEEN ZELMA AND VARNA.

ARE ALL KAPLUTIANS YOUR SIZE?

NO.

ARE ALL EARTH PEOPLE YOUR SIZE?

OH, NO. HERE ON
EARTH, I'M VERY SMALL.

ON KAPLUTUS, WE'RE VERY BIG.

HEY, CAN I TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU

SO THAT I CAN PROVE
YOU WERE HERE?

SURE.

MY HAIR MUST LOOK A MESS
AFTER THAT 10 BILLION-MILE TRIP.

WOMEN.

SMILE.

[camera clicking]

HONEY, WHY DON'T WE TAKE
THIS STRANGE-LOOKING CREATURE

BACK HOME WITH US TO PROVE
THERE'S LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS?

A GOOD IDEA, DARLING.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO
OUR PLANET AND VISIT CIVILIZATION?

BOY, WOULD I? HOW
LONG WOULD IT TAKE?

OH, SHORT TIME. I'LL HAVE
YOU BACK IN 3,000 YEARS.

3,000 YEARS?

ONLY 10 MINUTES
YOUR TIME, HONEY.

WOW!

AND I'M GOING ON
A FLYING SAUCER.

BYE!

[door locking]

I'M GOING ON A FLYING
SAUCER. A FLYING SAUCER.

GOING ON A FLYING SAUCER...

BOBBY, WAKE UP! HUH?

YOU WERE DREAMING ABOUT
A TRIP ON A FLYING SAUCER.

YEAH.

AND I WAS GOING TO BE A
BASKETBALL STAR ON KAPLUTUS.

HURRY UP, MOM. THE WORLD'S
WAITING TO SEE OUR PICTURES.

WILL YOU RELAX, PETER?
THESE PRINTS TAKE A LONG TIME.

HEY, PETE, WHAT
IF MOM RUINS 'EM?

SHE WON'T RUIN 'EM.

WILL YOU?

REMEMBER, SHE'S AN AMATEUR.

MAYBE WE SHOULD'VE TAKEN
THEM TO A PROFESSIONAL.

GEE, THANKS A LOT.

I'M OVERWHELMED BY
YOUR UNDER-CONFIDENCE.

ANYBODY FOR MORE FLAPJACKS? HOT
OFF THE GRIDDLE AND STILL FLAPPING?

OH, ME, ALICE, PLEASE. ME, TOO.

MMM. NO, THANKS, I GOT TO
GET GOING. MMM, SAME HERE.

AREN'T YOU TWO
GOING TO STICK AROUND,

SEE HOW PETER AND BOBBY'S
U.F.O. PICTURES TURNED OUT?

NO. IN THEIR CASE, I THINK U.F.O.
MEANS UNDOUBTEDLY FLIPPED OUT.

[Marcia laughing]

HEY, ALICE, IF ANY SPACE CREATURES
DO SHOW UP, GIVE THEM SOME FLAPJACKS

AND TELL THEM TO
STICK AROUND A WHILE.

DO YOU THINK PETER AND
BOBBY REALLY DID SEE A U.F.O.?

THEY THINK THEY SAW SOMETHING,
SOMETHING SHAPED LIKE A CIGAR.

LOOK AT THIS!

PROOF ON PAPER!
WE GOT IT! WE GOT IT!

LOOK AT IT, A REAL U.F.O.

IN THE FLESH!

ALICE, LOOK, THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING
ON THAT FILM. LOOK, RIGHT THERE.

THAT'S SORT OF BLOB.

THAT REALLY DOES
LOOK LIKE A U.F.O.

LOOKS SO TINY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TINY?
THAT'S YOUR AVERAGE-SIZED U.F.O.

THAT'S A U.F.O., ALL RIGHT.

SURE. WE BETTER
CALL THE NEWSPAPERS.

AND TELL THEM WE'VE IDENTIFIED
AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT.

HEY, HOLD IT, BOYS, HOLD IT.

YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL
YOUR FATHER GETS HOME FROM WORK

AND TAKES A LOOK
AT THOSE PICTURES.

WELL, MIKE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, I'VE COME TO A CONCLUSION.

AND?

THEY'RE EITHER U.F.O.'s,
OR THEY'RE NOT U.F.O.'s.

HOW'S THAT FOR A DEFINITE MAYBE?

EVEN YOUR MAYBE DOESN'T
SOUND VERY DEFINITE.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
VERY MANY U.F.O.'s.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK WE OUGHT TO DO?

PASS THE BUCK TO SOMEBODY WHO
SHOULD KNOW MORE ABOUT IT THAN WE DO.

[clearing throat]

OPERATOR, COULD YOU GIVE ME THE
NUMBER, PLEASE, FOR CARTER AIR FORCE BASE?

[doorbell ringing]

[whistling]

MRS. BRADY, PLEASE.

I'M CAPTAIN McCARTNEY.

YOU SELLING TICKETS TO THE
POLICEMAN'S BALL, OR IS THIS A BUST?

I'M HERE TO INVESTIGATE
AN ALLEGED SIGHTING

OF AN ALLEGED U.F.O.

OH, THAT.

COME IN, PLEASE.

I THOUGHT MR. BRADY
REPORTED THAT TO THE AIR FORCE.

HE DID, BUT THE AIR FORCE STUCK
THE POLICE DEPARTMENT WITH IT.

YOU SEE, THE AIR FORCE REFUSES

TO KEEP INVESTIGATING
THINGS THAT DON'T EXIST,

AND I SHARE THEIR OPINION.

THEN HOW COME YOU'RE HERE
INVESTIGATING SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EXIST?

BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE 2 MORE
YEARS TO GO FOR MY PENSION.

[chuckling] OH.

THIS WAY PLEASE.

YOU SAY THESE PHOTOS
ARE GENUINE, MR. BRADY?

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, CAPTAIN.

I TOOK 'EM MYSELF.
WITH MOM'S CAMERA.

AND I DEVELOPED THEM, CAPTAIN.

WELL, THESE COULD BE ANYTHING.

WEATHER BALLOON.

REFLECTION, SWAMP GAS.

WE DON'T HAVE A
SWAMP IN OUR BACKYARD.

WELL, WHATEVER IT IS,
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT A U.F.O.

HOW CAN YOU BE
SO CERTAIN, CAPTAIN?

BECAUSE THERE ARE
NO U.F.O.'s, MR. BRADY.

I'VE INVESTIGATED HUNDREDS
OF SIGHTINGS OF U.F.O.'s

AND THE LITTLE, GREEN PEOPLE,

AND YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW MANY
OF THEM STAGGER INTO THE STATION

ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

OH, CAPTAIN McCARTNEY IS HERE
TO INVESTIGATE THE U.F.O. PICTURES

THAT PETER TOOK.

OH, NO.

UH, DAD, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

LATER. IT'S URGENT, DAD.

LATER, GREG. IT'S REALLY
URGENT, IT CAN'T WAIT.

EXCUSE ME, CAPTAIN.
EXCUSE US, CAPTAIN.

[pulley squeaking]

I USE THIS CORD TO PULL
OUT THE PLASTIC CURTAIN.

AND THEN I GET THIS
FLASHLIGHT AND THIS WHISTLE,

FLASH IT ON THE SCREEN.

THERE'S YOUR U.F.O.

[whooshing]

WELL, I THINK WE'VE
WASTED ENOUGH TIME

ON THIS U.F.O.
NONSENSE, MRS. BRADY.

GOOD NIGHT, AND... [whooshing]

WHAT'S THAT?

OUR U.F.O.!

IT'S BACK!

UH, UH... [children chattering]

(Bobby) HEY, OUR
U.F.O. IT'S BACK!

[all chattering]

WELL, WHAT DO YOU
SAY NOW, CAPTAIN?

I ACTUALLY SAW ONE.

HEY, WHERE'S THE PHONE?
I GOT TO REPORT THIS.

RIGHT OVER THERE.

UH, UH, CAPTAIN,
MAYBE YOU CAN WAIT.

NONSENSE, YOUNG LADY.

SERGEANT? CAPTAIN McCARTNEY.
I WANT TO REPORT A U.F.O.

ALERT THE AIR DEFENSE
COMMAND IMMEDIATELY.

HEY, IT'S GONE AGAIN.

DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, SARGE.

DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW A U.F.O.?

I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES.

OH, UH, SON, UH, YOU
WITH THE CAMERA.

GET A PICTURE OF
ME REPORTING THIS.

SURE.

[camera clicking]

[sighing]

I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT
THE WHOLE THING, DAD.

IT WAS A PRETTY
SILLY THING TO DO.

NEVER THOUGHT IT'D
GET THIS OUT OF HAND.

I GUESS I GOT SOME
EXPLAINING TO DO.

MMM-HMM. NOT ONLY TO ME...

YEAH.

I WONDER WHAT CAPTAIN
McCARTNEY'S GOING TO SAY.

I KNEW IT WAS A HOAX!

THERE'S NO SUCH
THING AS U.F.O.'s.

THEY'RE ALL FAKES AND PHONIES,

AND I NEVER GET... BUT YOU
REPORTED IT TO YOUR OFFICE, CAPTAIN.

I'LL KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT IF
YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

I-IT'S A DEAL.

I WON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT
YOUR PHONE CALL TO THE SERGEANT

IF YOU WON'T TELL
ANYONE ABOUT MY U.F.O.

DEAL.

[sighing]

I HOPE YOU REALIZE HOW YOUR JOKE

NEARLY SNOWBALLED
INTO AN AVALANCHE.

I SURE DO, MOM.

NOW I GOT TO FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO MAKE IT UP TO PETER AND BOBBY.

THEY'RE REALLY DOWN ON ME.

WELL, GREG, YOU'LL HAVE
PLENTY OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT

BECAUSE YOU JUST LOST
THE CAR FOR THIS WEEKEND.

THIS WEEKEND'S MY
BIG FISHING TRIP, DAD.

WELL, I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO TELL
THE FISH THAT YOU WERE GROUNDED.

GROUNDED?

ALL THE GUYS ARE EXPECTING
TO MEET ME UP THERE.

SORRY, GREG. NO CAR.

HOW AM I GOING TO GET
THERE WITHOUT A CAR?

WELL, I GUESS YOU'LL JUST
HAVE TO HITCH A RIDE ON A U.F.O.