The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 4, Episode 6 - Fright Night - full transcript

Jan and Cindy are awaken in the middle of the night, scared by mysterious sounds that seem to be emanating from the attic and the vision of what looks like a ghostly apparition outside their window. Investigating, Mike and Carol discover the window in the attic open, the noise from the wind causing a creaking rocking chair to rock, and that there is nothing in the trees outside. What they are initially unaware of is that the cause of all this commotion was the boys - Peter masquerading as the apparition - who wanted to scare the girls. Ultimately Marcia believes the boys were responsible for everything, and she leads her sisters in getting back at the boys with a little of their own medicine. All this pranksterism may get out of hand, especially with a comment added by Alice. Meanwhile, Carol is sculpting a bust of Mike's head for her art class' competition.

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪



♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Honey, your head is drooping.

Hmm?

I said your head's drooping.

Sweetheart, all
of me is drooping.

Even Michelangelo went to bed.

I thought your
sculpture class exhibit

was on Saturday.



It is, honey, but
it'll take a whole day

to bake your head in the kiln.

It has to be fired.

Yeah. Listen, if I don't
get up in the morning

and finish that design,

my boss is going to fire me.

Okay. You promise
you'll pose tomorrow?

Yes, I promise.

Gee, it's beginning to
look like a real head, huh?

Yeah. Whose?

( creaking)

( creaking continues)

JAN ( whispers):
Somebody's in the attic.

Who could it be?

I don't know.

( panicked stammering)

( muffled scream)

What?

( stammers)

( Cindy and Jan exclaiming)

CAROL: What is the matter?

What happened?

We saw a ghost!

It was right outside the window.

It was dancing in the tree.

CAROL: Calm
down. It'll be all right.

MARCIA: I didn't
see a thing, Dad.

It was the biggest
ghost you ever saw.

Well, I think it was probably

just the moonlight
shining in the trees.

Well, no, Dad, we heard it, too.

It was walking
around in the attic first.

Oh, honey, on a dark,

windy night, your imagination

can play all sorts
of tricks on you.

I didn't hear a thing, Mom.

Well, we did.

You were asleep while
it was walking around.

Walking, dancing...

Mike, that was a
very energetic ghost.

I wonder why we can't
see it or hear it now?

It's probably back
in the attic, resting.

Well, there's one
way to find out:

Go up in the attic
and take a look.

No. Not me.

I'll wait till morning.

( chuckles)

Kids, how many
times have I told you:

There's no such
thing as a ghost.

( gasps) What's the
matter, Mr. Brady?

It's all right, Alice.

The kids just thought
they saw a ghost outside.

Oh... ghosts.

There are no such things, kids.

See?

We saw it, Alice. Honest.

Well, maybe I left
one of my nightgowns

hanging on the wash line.

That would scare
anybody in the dark.

( laughs)

Oh, well, everything's
under control now, Alice.

Thanks for checking.

Let's have a look
in the attic, honey.

Yeah, you kids go on to bed.

We'll take care of it.

( yawns): Uh, what's...

what's happening, Dad?

Nothing, boys. The
girls just had a little scare.

Are they okay?

Yes. They're fine.

Go on back to bed.

( stifled laughter)

Whoo! Whoo!

Look at me... I'm a ghost.

Boy, we sure scared them.

Yeah. Did you hear them scream?

( mimicking girls' screams)

Shh! Shh!

Now, I... I wonder

who could have left
this window open.

( chair creaks)

Hey, look.

( creaking continues)

I think we found our ghost.

So what did you find?

Nothing... the creaking you
heard was the rocking chair.

Yeah, but who was in it?

Nobody.

How do you know?

Well, because the seat

was all covered with dust.

Ghosts don't leave any marks

when they sit down.

Everybody knows that.

Okay, girls, there is
nothing in the attic,

and there's nothing
in the trees outside,

so let's all go
back to sleep, huh?

Right... and dream
of nice things.

Good night.

Good night, girls.

See you in the morning.

JAN: Good night.

( boys giggling)

You know, I think our ghosts

are right in there.

Mm-hmm. All three of them.

You know what?

I bet we don't see any
more ghosts tonight.

What makes you so sure?

I have a feeling
they've all gone to sleep.

In the attic?

No. Across the hall...
Greg, Peter and Bobby.

I bet they rigged
up this whole thing.

You're right!

They're always
playing tricks on us.

Those monsters.

Are you sure?

Tomorrow, we'll do
a little detective work,

and I bet we can
prove this whole thing.

That's right; we don't have

any ghosts in our house.

We have three rats.

Jan, you look in the closet.

Cindy, check under the beds.

And I'll take the
dresser drawers.

Okay.

What are we looking for?

I'm not sure, but
I bet we find it.

Hey, I found something.

What's a slide projector doing

under Greg's bed?

It's usually in the family room.

Hey, there's a slide in it.

Look at this!

It's somebody with a
sheet over his head.

CINDY: Yeah, it's one
of the boys under a sheet.

So that's how they did it.

They aimed the projector
out of the window onto the tree.

That's our ghost...
Peter with a sheet.

But how do you explain

the creaking in the attic?

It still could have
been the rocking chair.

The boys could have moved it
from down here with this rope.

How?

Well, let's say this
is the rocking chair,

and they did this.

It would rock.

And when they finished,
the rope would disappear.

That's really smart.

What?

Dirty, but smart.

Dirty's right.

We've got to get back
at them for what they did.

Yeah, give them a dose
of their own medicine.

Excuse me, folks.

I hate to disturb
the artist at work,

but you left the dinner
table before dessert.

Mm, no, thanks,
Alice. Not for me.

Yeah, well, I'll have mine.

Mm-hmm!

Oh, boy, that's
coming along just fine.

Yeah. Thanks.

Whoever it is.

Mike, would you hold
your mouth still, please?

Why don't you work
on the forehead?

Honey, I have to work on the
whole face at the same time.

Do an ear.

Oh, Mike, please?

Listen, I thought
it was the artist

who was supposed to
starve... not the model.

I'll give you a bite.

No, thank you.

( kids chattering)

GREG: Here it is!

( kids exclaiming)

I haven't got enough hands.

Here you go. Okay, Jan.

Are you still scared, Cindy?

Boy, I don't think

I want to go to sleep tonight.

PETER: How come?

Because of that ghost.

I think we ought to lock
our windows and doors.

I think you girls

are scaring yourselves worse

than that nonexistent ghost did.

No such thing as
ghosts, right, fellows?

BOYS: Right.

Just the same,

I'll never go in
that attic again.

Me, neither... not
with that ghost around.

Maybe we ought
to charge him rent.

( laughing)

I'll bet you guys
wouldn't go up in the attic.

She's putting us on.

At night?

With all the lights out?

Anytime.

I'll bet you guys wouldn't.

I'll bet we would.

Okay, I'll bet you my allowance

you guys aren't brave enough

to go up there
and spend a night.

Me, too.

Me, too.

( laughs): You're kidding.

Your whole allowances?

I'm not afraid

of any ghost in the
attic, are you guys?

No way. Of course not.

Sounds like easy
money to me. Me, too.

Okay, our allowance
against yours

we won't spend
the night in the attic.

All three of you, all night.

Right!

Right! Right! Right!

Alice will hold the money.

Fine.

Please. Is it okay?

I don't know.

Whose idea was this?

The girls.

What a cinch bet.

And it's for their own good.

If we survive,

they'll know the
attic isn't haunted.

Oh, isn't that heroic of them?

And who's going
to help the girls

get over their disappointment

when they lose their allowance?

Poor, but wiser.

Which is more important?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, what do you say, honey?

Well... Come on.

Since tomorrow isn't
a school day, okay.

Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Mom.

Thanks, Dad. Bye.

It'll give the girls a
chance to get even, too.

( laughs) Yeah.

I don't know what's
going to happen,

but you can count on it.

Okay, you guys,
that ought to do it.

Well, thanks, Alice.

I'd sure say the girls
made a sucker bet.

Yeah, we should have
bet our allowances

for the whole year!

I can count the money now.

Yeah, well, good night, guys,

and don't be afraid of things

that go bump in the night.

Good night, Alice.

Thanks.

Okay, ghosts, come and get us.

( laughter)

Bobby.

What?

Boo.

Oh! Scared me.

( laughter)

They're all up there.

All systems are go.

You mean, all
systems are "ghost."

( female voice speaks
slowly): I feel warm.

Very warm.

Air... I must have air.

Huh?

Let me out.

I must get out.

So get out and be quiet.

Huh?

I said go to sleep and be quiet.

What are you yelling about?

I am asleep.

Then stop talking in your sleep.

I'm burning up.

I've got to get out.

Bobby, will you stop blabbering!

I'm not blabbering!

I must have air.

Give me air.

( whispering): Who said that?

I thought it was you.

( ghostly moaning)

Let me out.

( creaking)

I'm burning up.

I must rise and walk the night.

I'm free.

I'm free at last.

Greg! Greg, wake up!

Greg, wake up!

We got a real one! In the trunk!

What's going on?

( screaming)

Well, here it is... round two

of the battle of the ghosts.

Boy, that was close!

Where's Greg?

Greg, are you still in there?

MIKE: Boys, boys,
what's going on?

There's a ghost
in the attic! What?

It came out of the old trunk.

( yawning): What are
guys doing down here?

It's safer down here
than it is up there.

Then you lost the bet.

You didn't stay
up there all night.

Who cares about losing a bet?

We may have lost a brother.

Okay, kids, ghost time's over.

Come on.

For good. Come on.

( gasps)

Cellophane wrapping paper...

two fish lines.

They go up over that
beam, out the window

and down to the girls' room.

How did they get
the voice in the trunk?

Ah! Look.

Tape recorder.

We ran the line down to our room

and then we turned it
on when we were ready.

Very ingenious.

That's no fair. You tricked us.

Well, you tricked us.

Okay, everybody's
even now. Joke over.

Yeah, fun is fun,

but you know you
can carry joking too far.

Somebody could
end up getting hurt.

I want everybody to promise me

there's going to be no more
scaring each other, okay?

But the girls will
get our allowances.

May I remind you of
your famous quote?

"Poorer but wiser...
Which is more important?"

Zapped again.

Thanks, Alice.

I said all along it
was a sucker's bet.

You said they were
making the sucker's bet.

Anybody who believes
in ghosts is a sucker.

Alice, aren't you
scared of anything?

Nope.

Oh, come on.

What about horror
movies and vampires?

Oh, vampires give
me a pain in the neck.

( laughing): That's pretty good.

What about werewolves?

All bark, no bite.

Boy, Alice, when
you're hot, you're hot.

All bark, no bite...
I don't believe her.

Me, neither.

I'll bet, if she saw
something really scary,

she'd break the
record for the mile run.

Hey... What?

Want to try and make her run?

We promised Mom and
Dad no more scaring.

We promised we
wouldn't scare each other.

We didn't say
anything about Alice.

( telephone ringing)

Brady residence.

Oh, hi, Sam.

Sure, I'd love to go
to a movie tonight.

Which one?

Well, uh... if it's my choice,

I'll take the drive-in movie
where we've both seen the movie.

Okay... bye, Sam.

( humming)

Hi, Alice.

Oh, Mrs. Brady, I
didn't hear you drive up.

Let me give you a hand. Thanks.

You finished Mr. Brady's head.

Fresh out of the oven.

It looks more like it's
fresh out of the hospital.

Oh. Let's take it in
the living room, okay?

Mrs. Brady, if you
don't have anything

for me to do tonight,

I'd like to go to a
movie with Sam.

Oh, sure. Mr. Brady and I

are going to the
sculpture exhibit.

Oh, good. Careful, now. Careful.

Perfect.

Mom and Dad will
be gone all evening,

and Alice will be out
for a couple of hours.

That gives us plenty of time.

Wait till Alice gets back.

Yeah, let's see how she
really acts with ghosts.

JAN: I hope you
win. Yeah, good luck.

Now, listen, if
you need anything,

Alice is at the movies,

and your mother and I
are at the exhibit, okay?

CAROL: Be nice to one another.

Don't fight. And don't
tear up the house.

All right, Dad. Good-bye.

Don't worry. See you later.

Have a good time. Bye-bye.

Bye. Bye-bye.

Let's get ready for Alice.

Boy, if Mom and Dad
ever find out... Yeah.

Look, there's no way.

Alice's movie is over at 9:15.

Mom and Dad won't be
back till way after that.

And Alice sure won't tell on us.

She couldn't.

When we get through with her,

she'll be s-s-speechless.

( laughter)

( Greg chuckles)

How does it look?

Real creepy.

Yeah. This ought
to flip Alice out.

( chuckling)

Okay, give me the sheet.

Ah!

Okay.

Boy, this is going to scare her.

There.

How does that look?

It looks a little bit long.

Of course.

Did you ever see a
ghost in a mini-sheet?

( laughter)

( screaming)

Okay, one more time.

( screaming)

Okay, I think that's enough.

Boy, I scream great.

I almost scared myself.

This is really
going to work great.

Okay, hurry up.

( hammering)

Okay, it's all tied off.

Bring him up.

This even looks spooky
going up in the light.

Wait till Alice sees it
coming down in the dark.

Okay, now, Alice comes in,

and the room is dark.

The lights won't work

so she heads for
the fuse box like this.

When she gets just about here

I hit the skull light.

And I flip the switch

and my scream goes off.

You mean my scream.

Alice turns towards
the screams like this...

And we let the ghost
down the stairs. Right.

Boy, I kind of wish it was
happening to me. Yeah.

Okay, now everybody
in their places.

We've spun our web.

Now all we have to
do is wait for the fly.

I hope the kids are still up

so I can show them my ribbon.

They're probably in bed.

All the lights are out.

They couldn't have
been in bed long.

It's still early.

( laughs)

Just a second here.

Here comes Alice.

( clicking light switch)

( screaming)

Guess who's at it again?

Oh, no... it's Mom and Dad.

Boy, are we in for it.

I think I'd better
go fix the lights

so we can see who to yell at.

( screams stop)

( door opening)

( humming)

Who's that?

Is somebody there?

What...?

What's this?

Oh, no!

Is that the bust?

Mike's head!

Mrs. Brady, I'm sorry.

It looked like a real man

there in the dark.

Well, it wasn't
your fault, Alice.

( louder): Was it, kids?

No, sir. We had it all
rigged up to scare her.

Like I said, if you
carry a joke too far...

somebody can get hurt.

We never thought it
would be Dad's head.

Gee. It won a prize, too.

Well... so much for third place.

All right, all
right, that does it.

Everybody upstairs.

No allowance for two weeks...

And that goes for all of you.

Come on, come on.

Come on.

BOBBY: There goes
my model airplane.

MARCIA: I guess we deserve it.

That's one of my good sheets.

Oh...

It's for my jelly bread.

More coffee, anybody?

No, Alice, thanks.
No, thanks, Alice.

Gee, I feel so guilty

about what happened
last night, folks.

Ah... Alice, don't
worry about it.

You'll both be happy to know

I'm starting a
new project today.

We fixed it.

We put Dad back together.

Hey... Well, thanks for trying.

Gosh, that looks
like I sometimes feel

when I get up in the morning.

Yes, it does.

Hi, honey!

Carol?

Alice?

CAROL: In here, honey.

( chuckling): Alice, what in the
world are you supposed to be?

I am a classical
Greek, Mr. Brady.

I'm starting a new project.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I'm sculpting
a Greek statue.

What's it for?

It's for the backyard.

I'm going to put a
large bowl under it

and then I can use it
for one of two things.

Such as?

Well, for one, a birdbath.

( chuckling): A birdbath.

What else?

Well, if I pucker up,
I can be a fountain.

( laughing)