The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 4, Episode 1 - Hawaii Bound - full transcript

Everyone in the family is excited when Mike tells them that his company is sending him to Honolulu for a business trip, and he is able to bring them all along all expenses paid. Their vacation starts off well as they take in the many sights of Oahu. But things start to change when the boys accompany Mike to the construction site. There, Bobby finds a small tiki idol, which he decides he will keep as a good luck charm. What Bobby is unaware of is that one of the construction workers, old Mr. Hanalei, a traditional native islander, earlier saw the idol, and recognized it as a native taboo idol of evil to anyone who touches it. Beyond the luck Bobby and Cindy have in meeting island entertainer Don Ho while the idol is in Bobby's possession, near catastrophes end up occurring to whoever is in the possession of the idol, although no one in the family sees it as a bad luck charm, but still the exact opposite. But that bad luck may prove serious for the latest in the family to have it in his possession.

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪



♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

♪ ♪

Honey, I'm home.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, honey.

Ooh! What is it?

Gosh, do I even
get a kiss first? Okay.

Now, what's in the box?



Hi, Dad. Hi.

What's in the box?

My gosh. It runs
in the family. Yeah.

Listen, Peter, go
get the rest of the kids

'cause I have a surprise
here for everybody.

Okay. Greg! Marcia!
Jan! Bobby! Cindy!

I said go get them.

I know how to yell.

Okay, Dad. Scoot.

Hey, Mike, while we're
waiting for the kids,

what is it? ( laughs)

It's a box with a ribbon on it.

Ooh, you are mean!

You'll never guess.
You'll never guess.

I won't tell.

Did we do something
good, or something?

You haven't done
anything good yet.

I'm still waiting.

GREG: Is that for all of us?

Listen, I'm gonna
give you a hint. Okay.

It has to do with... water.

Water? Water? Water? Water?

In a box?

Water? ( laughs)

Oh, well, one thing,

it's too little for
a swimming pool.

Why don't you go
ahead and open it?

( kids shouting encouragement)

Oh, I'm so excited.
I can't believe

this little box is for all
of us. You'll never guess.

Oh... GREG: Hurry up!

It looks like airline tickets!

That's because they
are airline tickets.

For all of us? Are
we going somewhere?

( all talking at once)

Mr. Philips asked me to
check on the construction

of a building I designed,
you know? Yeah, where?

ALL: Where? Come on, Dad!

You know, the kids
are out of school,

we're going to be on
vacation... ( kids talking excitedly)

He said, "Why not take
the whole family along

at company expense?"

Mike, where are we going?!

Hawaii!

ALL: Hawaii?!

( screaming with delight)

We're going to Hawaii!

What'll I wear?

ALICE: What is it?

What's going on?

Alice, we'll tell
you later! Just yell!

Yay!

( whistling)

( kids yelling excitedly)

CAROL: Mike, I'll send your boss

a beautiful postcard every day.

MIKE: Honey, this
is a business trip.

Okay, I'll just say,
"Having a terrible time.

Wish you were here."

( both laugh)

GREG: Look! Hawaii!

CINDY: How can they
land such a big plane

on such a little island?

BOBBY: Hey, what's
that big lump down there?

PETER: That's Diamond
Head, dumbhead!

JAN: Honolulu, here we are!

♪ ♪

( Greg speaks indistinctly)

Uh... that's enough.

( Alice laugh)

I'm going to tell
Mrs. Brady on you.

( laughs)

Oh.

Where's Alice? I don't know.

( laughing)

Oh, look at that.

Come on, Alice!

MIKE: Come on!

She'll stay there all day.

Hey, half a day?

The boss wants me to pick
up Mr. Brady and his family

at the airport.

He gets all the tough jobs.

Aloha.

Mr. Brady, uh...

my boss said you might want

to do some sightseeing
over the weekend

before you start work Monday,

and, uh, I'm available.

Oh... Oh, neat!

That sounds great to me.

CAROL: Well, come
on, let's get started.

( laughing)

Oh, look! Isn't this impressive?

What's this place
called again, David?

They call it Puluoalakala.

What? What?

Puluoalakala.

What? Puluo...
alakala. ( all laughing)

Puluoalakala. Alakala.

Why don't we call
it Lookout Point?

( laughing)

DAVID: That's the new modern
state building in the background,

and the old Ilani Palace
is the building in front of it...

The only royal palace
in the United States.

Here, let me take your picture
in front of King Kamehameha.

You know, he was
the first island chief

to get all the islands

under one rule, so
he was our first king.

I bet I know why he was king.

Why?

Look how big he was.

Okay, ready?

Smile. Say "belly button."

ALL: Belly button.

( camera click)

Fine.

DAVID: I guess you can see
how it got its name... the blowhole.

MIKE: You might call it
Old Faithful, Hawaiian style.

Wow, that's really neat.

Yeah, you see, man.

Did you get your picture?

Yeah. But I thought
it'd really blow

and get us all wet.

Oh, you want to get wet?

Why didn't you say so.

( laughing)

PETER: Wow. Look at it.

ALICE: This is Pearl Harbor.

JAN: Is it ever big.

MARCIA: Big? It's enormous.

PETER: Hey, what's
that over there?

BOBBY: Forget about
that. Look over here.

CINDY: What's that funny thing?

JAN: Look way down there.

MARCIA: Yeah, what's that?

MIKE: Hey, hold it, hold
it. One thing at a time.

BOBBY: Yeah, pipe
down. One thing at a time.

Now what's that over there?

CAROL: Bobby! Now let's all give
David a chance to tell us about it.

DAVID: Well, first
of all, Pearl Harbor

is the biggest naval
installation in the Pacific.

See over there?

Those are nuclear
submarines being serviced.

Every time an astronaut
returns from the moon,

the recovery ships
come from this port.

CAROL: Oh, remember, kids?

We saw that on television.

Are those battleships?

Over there?

Those are destroyers...

Guided missile destroyers.

Those ships carry
missiles on the stern.

Yeah, right in the
back on the stern.

You see there...
Those are missiles.

Over there starts
Battleship Row.

And up ahead is the
Arizona memorial.

PETER: Gee, it's something seeing
the Arizona right underneath us.

MIKE: Yeah. Even though it's
no longer a commissioned ship,

the Navy granted
special permission

to fly the American
flag over it.

BOBBY: You mean
like she was still afloat?

MIKE: Yeah.

You see how this
is constructed...

It's low in the center and
it's higher on the ends?

That's symbolic of
the ultimate victory.

Look over here at the
base of this flagpole.

You see this plaque?

"Dedicated to the eternal
memory of our gallant shipmates

"in the USS Arizona

"who gave their lives in
action, 7 December 1941.

"From today on, the USS Arizona

"will again fly
our country's flag

"just as proudly as she did

on the morning of
7 December 1941."

CAROL: Oh, I must say,

Pearl Harbor sure
is impressive, isn't it?

You know, there's a
story about Pearl Harbor

most people don't know.

What kind of story?

Well...

way back, when they
first started to build all this,

an old island chief
warned them against it.

See, the elders believed

that this was the home
of the Shark Queen God.

Shark Queen God?

One of the strongest
of the island gods.

The chief told them
that this place was taboo

and if they built here,
evil things would happen.

What kind of evil things?

Well, when they finished
building the first dry dock,

it collapsed and
sank into the sea.

No one could ever
explain how it happened.

Wow. Then what?

Well, then they
started building again.

And the chief warned them again.

Did they listen
to him this time?

Nope.

Nothing happened.

Until the attack in 1941.

Well, I hardly think
that has anything to do

with the taboo, kids.

Well, neither do I,
Mr. Brady, but, uh, you know,

some of these old elders
are pretty superstitious.

Hey, look what I dug up.

No!

Do not touch.

Why not?

Taboo. Taboo idol very strong.

Bring evil to all who touch.

Aw, come on, brother.

That's just an old
island superstition.

Do as I say.

You kidding me?

Do not touch. Will bring evil.

Okay, old man,
so we get rid of it.

You satisfied now?

Someday you learn respect...

respect for island taboo.

That's the boss's office
over there, Mr. Brady.

Well, I just want to check
on a couple of things.

I'll be right back.

Dad, can we take a look around?

Okay, but don't go far,

'cause I'm not gonna
be gone long, okay?

BOBBY: Come on, let's go
see what they're doing there.

Say, Dave, maybe you
and I can get together

a little later and check out

some of the more
important sights,

like bikinis!

Hey, right on!

Come on down to
the beach tomorrow.

You can look while I
judge a surfing contest

for some of my buddies.

Hey, you know, I
do some surfing.

Do you suppose I
can get in the contest?

You're in, but you
got to watch out...

We've got some
pretty big surf over here

and you got to keep your eyes
on the waves, not the bikinis.

( chuckling): Okay.

Hey, Pete!

Look what I found!

It's real old.

It sure is ugly.

You know who it reminds me of?

Who?

You.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to put a string on him

and wear him around
my neck for good luck.

( strumming off-key)

Does that sound right to you?

If you're trying to
make a terrible sound,

it sounds right.

Hi, there.

Hi.

You're having a little trouble

with that, aren't you?

I sure am.

Can you play one?

I think I remember.

Thanks.

( playing light melody)

You're a lot better than Bobby.

Thanks again.

Can you sing something for us?

Sure.

Sam, lend me your tonsils.

Sure, I'll loan you both.

♪ Sweet someone ♪

♪ Whoever you may be ♪

♪ Sweet someone ♪

♪ You suit me to a tee ♪

♪ Although you
pay no attention ♪

♪ To me at all ♪

♪ One kiss, and
needless to mention ♪

♪ I had to fall ♪

♪ How I wonder ♪

♪ Who's keeping us apart ♪

♪ Don't blunder ♪

♪ And give away your heart ♪

♪ Until you whisper
"I love you" ♪

♪ And then I'll know ♪

♪ Sweet someone ♪

♪ That you belong... ♪

♪ To... ♪

♪ Me. ♪

That's good!

Thank you.

You guys sure do sing good.

Like real singers.

Ah, who knows?

Maybe someday we
can turn professional.

Hey, I know who you are.

No wonder he sings so good.

He's Don Ho.

Don who?

Don Ho.

This is Sam Kapu,
and he and I sing

at the Polynesian
Palace together.

Welcome to the islands.

Thanks. Thanks.

Thank you, kids.

See you later.

Wait.

Can I have your... Can
I have your autograph?

Sure. Yours, too, Mr. Kapu.

What are your names?

Bobby and Cindy Brady.

Well, let me take
a wild guess now.

You're Cindy.

Right.

Aloha! Aloha!

Aloha! Aloha!

Boy, we never
would have met them

if it hadn't have been
for my good luck charm.

( metallic clunk)

Some good luck charm!

♪ ♪

You know, that was
a good show tonight.

Oh, it was wonderful.

Yeah. Don Ho has a great act.

How would you know?

You never took your
eyes off the hula girls.

Aw. I barely noticed them.

Oh, yeah?

Your eyeballs were
going back and forth

twice as fast as their hips.

( chuckles)

Well, it's been a
great trip for all of us.

( laughs)

Ah, so far it's been
a perfect vacation.

Okay, let's hit the sack.

I got a big day tomorrow
in that surfing contest.

Boy, you're going
to get wiped out.

Yeah. Over here,
all the guys can surf

before they can walk.

There happen to be great surfers

all over the world...
Back home, too.

We know that.

We just didn't know
you were one of them.

( laughing)

Gee, I'm sorry, Bobby.

Boy, that almost
hit you on your head.

You could have been hurt.

I know.

It's a good thing I had my
good luck charm with me.

♪ ♪

Come on, you guys.

I want to rent a board
and get in some surfing

before the contest.

Aren't the girls coming?

No. They're going
to a hula lesson.

Who needs a hula lesson

to learn how to hula?

Come on, swivel hips.

Come on, everybody.

We don't want to
miss our hula lesson.

Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.

There's something wrong.

I don't seem to
have enough grass

for the backyard.

I think I have yours, Alice.

I think you do, too.

Okay, everybody,
come on. Out you go.

Isn't this Bobby's
little statue?

Yeah. I guess he dropped it

when they went to the beach.

I'll keep it for him.

Okay.

( hula music playing)

Alice, now, you take it easy.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, I feel it, I feel it. Yeah.

Oh... oh, that's...
the glide, yeah?

Yeah, gliding. Oh...

Oh!

Ah! I'm getting it.

Stretch.

I'm getting it.

I got it.

Uh... uh... help!

I mean, I think
I've really got it.

I can't move.

Alice, what is it?

Oh, it's, uh... it's
my hula, Mrs. Brady.

My "hu" went one way
and my "la" went the other.

Can anybody care to
lend a helping hula hand?

We'll be right back.

ALICE: Oh!

( nervous chuckle)

Oh, boy!

Okay, so we'll keep it simple.

You got a half hour,

and I judge you on
your best ride, okay?

Okay.

Okay, let's go.

Hey, Dave, after
the contest... bikinis?

Listen, mahalini,
you just pay attention

to the waves.

I'll try, but it's
hard, brother.

What was all that
stuff about the bikinis?

You'll learn.

Boy, will you learn.

Well, here goes.

Wish me luck.

ALL: Good luck, Greg!

Oh, Bobby, speaking of luck,

look what I found.

Thanks, Alice. I thought
it was gone forever.

Hey, Greg, wait!

BOBBY: Wait!

Here!

It'll bring you good luck.

Thanks. I'll take all I can get!

♪ ♪

Here they come.

There goes Greg.

He's pretty good.

Wow! Look at that big wave.

Watch it, Greg.

Wow!

Oh!

Think you could do that?

No.

Oh, I don't know how
they stay on those things.

Oh, here comes Greg.

Wow!

Wow! Greg's really doing great.

Naturally!

He has my good luck charm.

ALL: Oh! Oh, Greg, no!

What happened?

BOBBY: Where is he?

PETER: I don't
know. I can't see him.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, Greg!

Greg?

Greg!

Mike, where is he?

He should have come up by now.

Keep looking for him.

Greg?

MIKE: Greg!