The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 3, Episode 13 - The Not-So-Rose-Colored Glasses - full transcript
Mike and Carol receive disturbing news of an eyewitness account that Jan stole someone else's bicycle from the park. Upon investigating, they find that it was all a misunderstanding as the bicycle that Jan took looks almost exactly like her own and thus she thought it was hers. But when Mike and Carol receive some more bad news about Jan - a note from her teacher that she is unfocused in class and as a result her grades are slipping - they discover what the culprit for all these problems with Jan is: her eyesight. Jan is mortified to learn that she will need glasses, which she feels will make her look goofy, especially troublesome as she is trying to attract one of her male classmates. As such, Jan tries at every turn not to wear her glasses. Jan learns her lesson about the need to wear her glasses as she gets into an accident while riding her bicycle without wearing her glasses. Although she is unharmed, she ruins the photograph of her and her siblings that Mike was going to give to Carol for their third wedding anniversary. Jan does whatever she can to replace the photo without her father's knowledge, which because of the scatterbrained photographer, requires the six kids to take another photograph. Other obstacles include coming up with enough money to pay for the new photograph especially as all the kids are broke having bought their own anniversary gifts, all the kids being able to sneak out of the house in their good clothes, and remembering the continuity between the first photograph and the retake.
♪ Here's the story ♪
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
Hey, Alice, you all set?
Oh, yeah, Mr. Brady,
don't worry about a thing.
Got it all worked out.
How you going to do it?
Good old-fashioned toothache.
When Mrs. Brady
takes me to the dentist
you take the kids to
the photographers.
Hey, I hope it works.
It's kind of hard to put
anything over on Mrs. Brady.
Mike... Oh, that's
a shame, Alice.
What's a shame?
What's the matter?
Alice has a terrible toothache.
Well, it, uh, is
beginning to swell.
I really think I ought
to get to my dentist.
Well, of course.
Well, I wouldn't dream
of letting you drive
me, Mrs. Brady.
I can take a bus.
I only have to transfer
three times is all.
Now, don't be ridiculous, Alice.
I'm driving you,
and no arguments.
Thanks a wot.
Poor Alice.
Hello?
Mr. Brenner?
Oh, yeah, from the playground.
What can I do for you?
Jan? What about her?
Is Jan all right?
Are you sure?
Well, I, I doubt it
but I'll look into it right
away, Mr. Brenner.
Yeah, uh, thanks for calling.
What is it, Mike?
Mr. Brenner says
Jan left the playground
and she took some girl's bike.
Took some girl's
bi... Oh, that's silly.
Jan has her own bike.
He also says he
has an eyewitness
who says she stole it.
Stole it?
Well, I don't believe it.
Let's see what
this is all about.
Hi.
Jan, we just got a
call from Mr. Brenner.
What about?
He said you took
someone else's bike
from the playground.
Why would I do that?
I've got my own bike.
Oh, Jan, this
isn't your bicycle.
Among other things,
yours has a dent in it
where Bobby
ran into it that day.
You're right, this
isn't my bicycle.
Well, it does look like hers.
It's the same make, same
color, everything. Yeah.
What a dumb-head I am.
How could I have taken
somebody else's bicycle?
I'm sorry.
Oh, honey, we were
sure it was just a mistake.
Oh, goodness, I've got to run.
I've got to get
Alice to the dentist.
I'm sorry about the
bike mix-up, Dad.
I guess I was in such
a hurry to get home
that I didn't look close enough.
Yeah, well, now you scoot
and get the bike back fast.
Because we've got to
take that picture taken
before they get back
from the dentist, okay?
Okay. Do you think
mom suspects anything?
Well, hope she
suspects one thing.
What?
That I'm a husband who
forgets wedding anniversaries.
I'll see you. Okay.
I'll hurry.
Bye. Hurry.
Alice, if I didn't know better,
I'd swear you had
a real swollen jaw.
What do you got in there?
Come on, don't over do it.
Gee, I'm sorry I took so long.
I certainly appreciate
do this, Mrs. Brady.
Well, you don't think
I'd let you go down...
That's funny,
I could have sworn the swelling
was on the other side.
You better hurry, before
it hurts on both sides.
Come on, scoot.
Glad it's my wisdom teeth.
I need all the smart I can get.
We'll be back just as
soon as we can, honey.
Take all the time you need.
The way my tooth
feels, it may take hours.
Maybe all afternoon.
Okay, kids!
How do I look?! You look okay.
Does my hair look okay?
I'll back the car out.
Smile, children.
Hey, that looks pretty
good to me, Mr. Gaylord.
Perhaps to an
amateur, Mr. Brady.
But not to Gregory Gaylord.
Smile, children.
Well, let's have a
nice, big smile, huh?
Oh, that's good, very good.
All right.
Ready... set... Wait.
Film.
I forgot to put in the film.
It's here somewhere.
I know it's... here's the film.
Imagine, a professional
forgetting to put in the film.
All right, kids.
Okay, kids, let's
try it again now.
Everybody smile.
Oh, this is going to
be beautiful, Mr. Brady.
All right... ready...
and set... and...
Color.
I want color.
Where's my color plate?
Hang in there, kids.
Can I help you?
It's here somewhere, I know...
Here's my color plate.
Imagine, Gregory Gaylord
forgetting his color plate.
He'd have a great memory
if he could remember
where he kept it.
All right, children.
Let's have that smile again.
Jan, honey, don't
squint, don't squint.
Oh, I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to squint.
Ready now.
Everybody say...
say... ALL: Cheese!
Cheese.
Cheese.
Say cheese.
Ready? Set... ALL: Cheese.
Got it!
That was perfect, kids.
Now let's take some better ones.
When do I get the
pictures, Mr. Gaylord?
Well, I'll have the
proofs in the morning.
No, make that
Tuesday... Wednesday...
whichever comes first.
Anyway, with the
frame you picked out
it will be ready in
about four or five days.
Oh, well, that's great.
It's for my anniversary
and that's a week from Saturday.
Oh, no problem,
then. I'll have it framed
and delivered to your house.
Oh, listen, no,
don't deliver it.
Call me when it's
ready and I'll pick it up,
'cause it's a surprise.
A surprise... oh,
I love surprises.
Hey, kids, come on
we've got to hurry
up and beat your mom
and Alice back to the house.
Fine-looking
children, Mr. Brady.
How long have you been married?
Three years.
Three years... six kids.
Everything these
days... Rush, rush, rush.
Hi, honey, how's
everything at the office?
I think I'd come home
a little early today.
Good.
What's that?
Well, it's a letter we got today
from Jan's teacher,
Mrs. Denhoff. Let's see.
She says Jan's grades
have been falling off.
"Lacking energy and having
trouble concentrating"?
Huh, that's not like Jan.
I know, I can't understand it.
She's always been
a good student.
Honey, I'd like you
to read this letter.
It's from your
teacher, Mrs. Denhoff.
I'm sorry.
I'll try to do better.
Jan, read it again.
This time out loud.
No, no, no... from here.
"Dear Mr. And Mrs. Brady...
"in the post... in the
past several weeks
Jan's grades..."
That's enough, Jan.
Honey, where do you sit
in Mrs. Denhoff's class?
In the back, why?
Does she write lessons
on the blackboard in
the front of the class?
Usually.
Jan, I think you
may need glasses.
Glasses?!
Oh, Mom, no, not glasses.
I certainly think you ought
to have your eyes checked.
Honey, wearing glasses
isn't anything these days.
But I'm sure I
don't need glasses.
Well, look, Jan,
you want to keep
failing in school?
Making mistakes like
taking the wrong bicycle?
Glasses, wow.
I'll look positively goofy.
When Bernie Maguire
sees me, he'll go bananas.
Bananas?
That's bad, huh?
It's the worst.
Hi, Mr. Brady.
Follow me into the garage.
Mr. Gaylord delivered
your anniversary picture.
Oh, no! I distinctly
asked him not to.
Well, luckily, while Mrs.
Brady was out with Jan.
I hid it out here in the garage.
Hey, thanks, Alice.
I think it'll be safe out here.
I mean, Mrs. Brady knows
your anniversary is coming up
and she's already been
snooping in the house.
She's a pretty good snooper.
Good work, Alice... she'll
never think to look in the garage.
Wrong. She already
did, Mr. Brady.
But there would be no point
in her snooping in here again.
Once she's already
snooped it, it's snooped out.
Alice, your talk
is a little like your meat loaf:
A little bit of everything
and all mixed up.
That must be Mom and Jan.
They went to get
Jan's new glasses.
I bet she looks funny in them.
Yeah. Can't wait
to see old four-eyes.
Let's not have any
"four-eyes" jokes.
Jan's going to feel
self-conscious enough
without you teasing her.
She'll know we're just joking.
People don't like those
kinds of personal jokes.
How would you like it if
somebody called you shorty?
I wouldn't care.
Okay, shorty.
You cut that out.
See?
Hi, honey.
Hi. Hi, kids.
Hey, they look great.
Those frames are beautiful.
Right, kids?
Yeah.
Terrific.
Thanks.
She picked them out herself.
Ah, they're perfect.
They really suit her.
Hey, honey, come on,
I want to show you
these great towels
I got on sale today.! Okay.
Okay, go ahead and say it.
I look like a drip, right?
No, they look neat.
Yeah, neat.
You really think they
kind of look okay?
Yeah, they make you
look like you're real smart.
Like a schoolteacher.
Oh, great.
I wanted glasses that
made me look groovy.
They do look groovy.
Yeah, and we aren't saying
this 'cause Dad told us to.
And I didn't even call
you "four-eyes" once.
Thanks a lot.
You lose something, Mrs. Brady?
Alice, you know very well
what I'm doing... I'm snooping.
You, Mrs. Brady?
Stooping to snooping?
Now look, Alice, I bought
Mr. Brady an anniversary present
and I know that he bought
me an anniversary present
and I know it's got to be
somewhere in this house
and I'll bet you are in on it.
Me?
Oh, come on, Alice.
Give me a little hint?
Well, let me put it
this way, Mrs. Brady.
Roses are red,
violets are blue...
Mr. Brady'd beam
me if I told you.
I thought we were friends.
Oh, Alice, please?
I mean, I'm not asking
you to tell me exactly, but...
You're not being fair.
Now, Mrs. Brady, I'd
be a traitor if I told you.
So, Alice, be a traitor.
Uh, Mom?
I'm going down to the
library for a little while, okay?
Okay, honey, but
don't be too long.
Remember about dinner.
Okay, I will. Bye.
Jan?
Yeah?
Where are your glasses?
In my purse.
Why aren't you wearing them?
Well, I'm meeting Bernie
Maguire at the library.
So?
So Bernie hasn't
seen me in glasses,
and he's not going
to, if I can help it.
Well, Mom and Dad said you
were supposed to wear your glasses.
Well, I will, whenever
I really need them.
I think you're being dumb.
But they're your eyes.
Ciao.
Ciao?
Jan? Jan!
Jan, look out!
Are you all right?
Yeah, I, I think so.
Let me look.
Yeah, I just...
I guess I just
misjudged the distance.
Yeah... hey, no wonder.
Why aren't you
wearing your glasses?
Is my bike okay?
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Dad's anniversary gift to Mom!
Boy, have you done it.
It's ruined!
Maybe it's in the closet.
Maybe what's in the closet?
Whatever it is
you're looking for.
I was looking... for
my blue sweater.
Ah, my blue sweater.
Yeah, your blue sweater.
You gonna wear
that in the house?
It's kind of warm.
Yeah, maybe you're
warm, but I'm very chilly.
Hmm, well, see you downstairs.
This will never work.
Glue will never hold
this frame together.
How's it going?
No good.
Oh...
Did you get hold of
the photographer?
Yeah, but remember
how mixed up he was
when we took the pictures?
Yeah.
Well, he's still mixed up.
What's that supposed to mean?
He can't find the negative.
Yeah. You mean he lost it?
He says it's his
fault so if we want
to take a new picture
he won't charge
for the new negative.
Hey, great!
Yeah, but he has to
charge for the new picture.
Hey, great.
We can't ask Mom
or Dad for money.
Well, maybe if we all
chipped in we'd have enough.
Well, I could pay you back
a little at a time... I promise.
I'd be glad to, but
I'm all tapped out
on Mom and Dad's
anniversary gift.
Me, too. I got 12 cents left.
Compared to me, he's rich.
Jan, I wish I could
help, but I just...
I know, Mom and Dad's
anniversary present.
Yeah.
Hey, I could let you
have my coin collection.
You could?
Yeah, but I haven't
started it yet.
Well, I think I know
where I can get the money.
Where?
Just have everybody meet me
at the photographer's
tomorrow right after school.
And tell them to
wear the same clothes
so that nobody will be able
to tell it's a different picture.
But, Jan, where are you
going to get the money?
What does it matter,
as long as I get it?
Hey, where you going
all dressed up like that?
Uh, well, I got this
date to take this chick
down to the pizza place, Alice.
The pizza place...
dressed like that?
You don't know what
a great chick this is.
It took me weeks just
to get introduced to her.
Oh, not you.
Not Greg Brady, the
casanova of Clinton Avenue.
Well, she's real popular.
So I figure I better
look really heavy.
Hmm. I look really heavy
no matter what I wear.
I'll see you later.
Anchovies away!
Hey!
Hey, wait a minute, you guys.
Where do you think you're
going in your good clothes?
Uh... out to play.
Uh, yeah, play.
Since when do you get
dressed up to go out and play?
Well, you see, our
play clothes are clean
and these good
clothes are kind of dirty,
so we don't want to
get our play clothes dirty.
Right, Bobby?
Uh, yeah, this way we just get
our good clothes dirtier.
And you don't have to
wash our play clothes.
Yeah. Bye, so long.
Bye.
I think I detect a little
fancy footwork here.
Well, what perfect timing.
My, don't we look pretty?
Well, thanks, Mom.
Yeah, thanks.
Well, see, kids today
are always wearing jeans
and stuff like that,
and we figured that it'd
be fun to get all dressed up,
like going to a party.
Well, w don't want to be late.
See you.
No. Come on, Cindy.
Late? Late for what?
Alice!
Alice, why are those
girls so dressed up?
Beats me, Mrs. Brady.
Everybody suddenly
decided to get dressed up.
All right, children.
A nice big smile.
That's it... hold it.
Wait a minute.! What's wrong?
I don't think we're
standing the same
as we did last time.
You're right!
I was standing on
the other side of Cindy.
Hey, yeah. Remember?
Children.
Children.
I took the picture
and I remember
your positions exactly.
How were we?
You were exactly...
like you just said.
I'm sure that's it.
Okay, sir, we're ready.
All right, children.
Let's see those
pearly teeth now.
And ready... and set, and...
You got film in the camera?
Of course I have
film in the camera.
Color film?
Yes. Color film.
Yes. Color film.
All right.
Ready and set... Now
smile like last time.
Ready?
Cheese... That's it.
Alice, maybe I ought to
fix Mr. Brady something,
you know, a little
special this morning.
Special?
Well, it is our anniversary.
As if you didn't know.
Congratulations, Mrs. Brady.
Thanks.
Mr. Brady sure
is playing it cool.
Well, you know how husbands are.
No, I don't know
how husbands are.
But I'm dying to find out.
Good morning, Alice.
Ah, honey, how would you like
to have something really
special this morning?
Special?
Why should I want anything
special this morning?
Well, because it's such
an especially nice day.
Oh, well, if you've seen
one especially nice day
you have seen them all.
Ah, but this is a special
especially nice day.
That's funny.
It fell right on
our anniversary.
Oh, Mike Brady, sometimes
I could strangle you.
You're doing a pretty
good job of it right now.
Happy anniversary, darling.
Mmm, happy anniversary.
Surprise!
Open mine first!
No, mine, ladies first.
No, little ladies first.
How about husbands first?
Here you go.
Congratulations, Dad, Mom.
Oh, well, help me open it, Mike.
Okay.
Oh, it's marvelous.
Oh, well, how did
you ever sneak out
and get it done?
Oh, we Bradys move
in mysterious ways.
Oh, there's nothing
I'd rather have.
Oh, Jan, you wore your glasses.
Uh-huh.
Well, come on, everybody.
Let's find a place to hang it.
Jan!
Yeah?
Sit down, honey.
Isn't there something
you should explain to me?
What, Dad?
When we had that picture taken
you didn't have
your glasses yet.
Didn't I?
No, you didn't.
That can't be the
same picture, can it?
It isn't, Dad.
But it wasn't the
other kids' fault.
I ruined the first one because
I wasn't wearing my glasses.
I ran into it with my
bike, in the garage.
Jan, you know you're lucky
you only ran into the picture.
You could have run into
something much worse,
like a car.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'll wear my glasses
from now on,
whenever I'm
supposed to, I promise.
Well, as a little reminder,
I'm afraid I'm going
to have to ground you.
Two weeks.
No bicycle.
Dad, could you make
it something else?
You can't ground me
from riding my bicycle.
Oh, yes, I'm afraid I can.
Well, I don't have
a bicycle anymore.
I sold it to pay for
the new photograph.
Well, all right.
I guess that's
punishment enough.
Maybe we can even find some way
to buy that bicycle back.
Oh, I know a way
we can get the money.
You do? How?
I could sell my glasses.
No.
Oh, honey, it's-it's
drooping just...
yeah, on the left there.
Oh, that's perfect. Yeah.
Alice, isn't that
a lovely picture?
Oh, lovely.
A lot nicer than
the one I just got.
What picture is that, Alice?
The X ray from my dentist.
When you took me
there for my toothache
I was just kidding,
but he wasn't.
He found three cavities.
Oh, Alice.
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
Hey, Alice, you all set?
Oh, yeah, Mr. Brady,
don't worry about a thing.
Got it all worked out.
How you going to do it?
Good old-fashioned toothache.
When Mrs. Brady
takes me to the dentist
you take the kids to
the photographers.
Hey, I hope it works.
It's kind of hard to put
anything over on Mrs. Brady.
Mike... Oh, that's
a shame, Alice.
What's a shame?
What's the matter?
Alice has a terrible toothache.
Well, it, uh, is
beginning to swell.
I really think I ought
to get to my dentist.
Well, of course.
Well, I wouldn't dream
of letting you drive
me, Mrs. Brady.
I can take a bus.
I only have to transfer
three times is all.
Now, don't be ridiculous, Alice.
I'm driving you,
and no arguments.
Thanks a wot.
Poor Alice.
Hello?
Mr. Brenner?
Oh, yeah, from the playground.
What can I do for you?
Jan? What about her?
Is Jan all right?
Are you sure?
Well, I, I doubt it
but I'll look into it right
away, Mr. Brenner.
Yeah, uh, thanks for calling.
What is it, Mike?
Mr. Brenner says
Jan left the playground
and she took some girl's bike.
Took some girl's
bi... Oh, that's silly.
Jan has her own bike.
He also says he
has an eyewitness
who says she stole it.
Stole it?
Well, I don't believe it.
Let's see what
this is all about.
Hi.
Jan, we just got a
call from Mr. Brenner.
What about?
He said you took
someone else's bike
from the playground.
Why would I do that?
I've got my own bike.
Oh, Jan, this
isn't your bicycle.
Among other things,
yours has a dent in it
where Bobby
ran into it that day.
You're right, this
isn't my bicycle.
Well, it does look like hers.
It's the same make, same
color, everything. Yeah.
What a dumb-head I am.
How could I have taken
somebody else's bicycle?
I'm sorry.
Oh, honey, we were
sure it was just a mistake.
Oh, goodness, I've got to run.
I've got to get
Alice to the dentist.
I'm sorry about the
bike mix-up, Dad.
I guess I was in such
a hurry to get home
that I didn't look close enough.
Yeah, well, now you scoot
and get the bike back fast.
Because we've got to
take that picture taken
before they get back
from the dentist, okay?
Okay. Do you think
mom suspects anything?
Well, hope she
suspects one thing.
What?
That I'm a husband who
forgets wedding anniversaries.
I'll see you. Okay.
I'll hurry.
Bye. Hurry.
Alice, if I didn't know better,
I'd swear you had
a real swollen jaw.
What do you got in there?
Come on, don't over do it.
Gee, I'm sorry I took so long.
I certainly appreciate
do this, Mrs. Brady.
Well, you don't think
I'd let you go down...
That's funny,
I could have sworn the swelling
was on the other side.
You better hurry, before
it hurts on both sides.
Come on, scoot.
Glad it's my wisdom teeth.
I need all the smart I can get.
We'll be back just as
soon as we can, honey.
Take all the time you need.
The way my tooth
feels, it may take hours.
Maybe all afternoon.
Okay, kids!
How do I look?! You look okay.
Does my hair look okay?
I'll back the car out.
Smile, children.
Hey, that looks pretty
good to me, Mr. Gaylord.
Perhaps to an
amateur, Mr. Brady.
But not to Gregory Gaylord.
Smile, children.
Well, let's have a
nice, big smile, huh?
Oh, that's good, very good.
All right.
Ready... set... Wait.
Film.
I forgot to put in the film.
It's here somewhere.
I know it's... here's the film.
Imagine, a professional
forgetting to put in the film.
All right, kids.
Okay, kids, let's
try it again now.
Everybody smile.
Oh, this is going to
be beautiful, Mr. Brady.
All right... ready...
and set... and...
Color.
I want color.
Where's my color plate?
Hang in there, kids.
Can I help you?
It's here somewhere, I know...
Here's my color plate.
Imagine, Gregory Gaylord
forgetting his color plate.
He'd have a great memory
if he could remember
where he kept it.
All right, children.
Let's have that smile again.
Jan, honey, don't
squint, don't squint.
Oh, I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to squint.
Ready now.
Everybody say...
say... ALL: Cheese!
Cheese.
Cheese.
Say cheese.
Ready? Set... ALL: Cheese.
Got it!
That was perfect, kids.
Now let's take some better ones.
When do I get the
pictures, Mr. Gaylord?
Well, I'll have the
proofs in the morning.
No, make that
Tuesday... Wednesday...
whichever comes first.
Anyway, with the
frame you picked out
it will be ready in
about four or five days.
Oh, well, that's great.
It's for my anniversary
and that's a week from Saturday.
Oh, no problem,
then. I'll have it framed
and delivered to your house.
Oh, listen, no,
don't deliver it.
Call me when it's
ready and I'll pick it up,
'cause it's a surprise.
A surprise... oh,
I love surprises.
Hey, kids, come on
we've got to hurry
up and beat your mom
and Alice back to the house.
Fine-looking
children, Mr. Brady.
How long have you been married?
Three years.
Three years... six kids.
Everything these
days... Rush, rush, rush.
Hi, honey, how's
everything at the office?
I think I'd come home
a little early today.
Good.
What's that?
Well, it's a letter we got today
from Jan's teacher,
Mrs. Denhoff. Let's see.
She says Jan's grades
have been falling off.
"Lacking energy and having
trouble concentrating"?
Huh, that's not like Jan.
I know, I can't understand it.
She's always been
a good student.
Honey, I'd like you
to read this letter.
It's from your
teacher, Mrs. Denhoff.
I'm sorry.
I'll try to do better.
Jan, read it again.
This time out loud.
No, no, no... from here.
"Dear Mr. And Mrs. Brady...
"in the post... in the
past several weeks
Jan's grades..."
That's enough, Jan.
Honey, where do you sit
in Mrs. Denhoff's class?
In the back, why?
Does she write lessons
on the blackboard in
the front of the class?
Usually.
Jan, I think you
may need glasses.
Glasses?!
Oh, Mom, no, not glasses.
I certainly think you ought
to have your eyes checked.
Honey, wearing glasses
isn't anything these days.
But I'm sure I
don't need glasses.
Well, look, Jan,
you want to keep
failing in school?
Making mistakes like
taking the wrong bicycle?
Glasses, wow.
I'll look positively goofy.
When Bernie Maguire
sees me, he'll go bananas.
Bananas?
That's bad, huh?
It's the worst.
Hi, Mr. Brady.
Follow me into the garage.
Mr. Gaylord delivered
your anniversary picture.
Oh, no! I distinctly
asked him not to.
Well, luckily, while Mrs.
Brady was out with Jan.
I hid it out here in the garage.
Hey, thanks, Alice.
I think it'll be safe out here.
I mean, Mrs. Brady knows
your anniversary is coming up
and she's already been
snooping in the house.
She's a pretty good snooper.
Good work, Alice... she'll
never think to look in the garage.
Wrong. She already
did, Mr. Brady.
But there would be no point
in her snooping in here again.
Once she's already
snooped it, it's snooped out.
Alice, your talk
is a little like your meat loaf:
A little bit of everything
and all mixed up.
That must be Mom and Jan.
They went to get
Jan's new glasses.
I bet she looks funny in them.
Yeah. Can't wait
to see old four-eyes.
Let's not have any
"four-eyes" jokes.
Jan's going to feel
self-conscious enough
without you teasing her.
She'll know we're just joking.
People don't like those
kinds of personal jokes.
How would you like it if
somebody called you shorty?
I wouldn't care.
Okay, shorty.
You cut that out.
See?
Hi, honey.
Hi. Hi, kids.
Hey, they look great.
Those frames are beautiful.
Right, kids?
Yeah.
Terrific.
Thanks.
She picked them out herself.
Ah, they're perfect.
They really suit her.
Hey, honey, come on,
I want to show you
these great towels
I got on sale today.! Okay.
Okay, go ahead and say it.
I look like a drip, right?
No, they look neat.
Yeah, neat.
You really think they
kind of look okay?
Yeah, they make you
look like you're real smart.
Like a schoolteacher.
Oh, great.
I wanted glasses that
made me look groovy.
They do look groovy.
Yeah, and we aren't saying
this 'cause Dad told us to.
And I didn't even call
you "four-eyes" once.
Thanks a lot.
You lose something, Mrs. Brady?
Alice, you know very well
what I'm doing... I'm snooping.
You, Mrs. Brady?
Stooping to snooping?
Now look, Alice, I bought
Mr. Brady an anniversary present
and I know that he bought
me an anniversary present
and I know it's got to be
somewhere in this house
and I'll bet you are in on it.
Me?
Oh, come on, Alice.
Give me a little hint?
Well, let me put it
this way, Mrs. Brady.
Roses are red,
violets are blue...
Mr. Brady'd beam
me if I told you.
I thought we were friends.
Oh, Alice, please?
I mean, I'm not asking
you to tell me exactly, but...
You're not being fair.
Now, Mrs. Brady, I'd
be a traitor if I told you.
So, Alice, be a traitor.
Uh, Mom?
I'm going down to the
library for a little while, okay?
Okay, honey, but
don't be too long.
Remember about dinner.
Okay, I will. Bye.
Jan?
Yeah?
Where are your glasses?
In my purse.
Why aren't you wearing them?
Well, I'm meeting Bernie
Maguire at the library.
So?
So Bernie hasn't
seen me in glasses,
and he's not going
to, if I can help it.
Well, Mom and Dad said you
were supposed to wear your glasses.
Well, I will, whenever
I really need them.
I think you're being dumb.
But they're your eyes.
Ciao.
Ciao?
Jan? Jan!
Jan, look out!
Are you all right?
Yeah, I, I think so.
Let me look.
Yeah, I just...
I guess I just
misjudged the distance.
Yeah... hey, no wonder.
Why aren't you
wearing your glasses?
Is my bike okay?
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Dad's anniversary gift to Mom!
Boy, have you done it.
It's ruined!
Maybe it's in the closet.
Maybe what's in the closet?
Whatever it is
you're looking for.
I was looking... for
my blue sweater.
Ah, my blue sweater.
Yeah, your blue sweater.
You gonna wear
that in the house?
It's kind of warm.
Yeah, maybe you're
warm, but I'm very chilly.
Hmm, well, see you downstairs.
This will never work.
Glue will never hold
this frame together.
How's it going?
No good.
Oh...
Did you get hold of
the photographer?
Yeah, but remember
how mixed up he was
when we took the pictures?
Yeah.
Well, he's still mixed up.
What's that supposed to mean?
He can't find the negative.
Yeah. You mean he lost it?
He says it's his
fault so if we want
to take a new picture
he won't charge
for the new negative.
Hey, great!
Yeah, but he has to
charge for the new picture.
Hey, great.
We can't ask Mom
or Dad for money.
Well, maybe if we all
chipped in we'd have enough.
Well, I could pay you back
a little at a time... I promise.
I'd be glad to, but
I'm all tapped out
on Mom and Dad's
anniversary gift.
Me, too. I got 12 cents left.
Compared to me, he's rich.
Jan, I wish I could
help, but I just...
I know, Mom and Dad's
anniversary present.
Yeah.
Hey, I could let you
have my coin collection.
You could?
Yeah, but I haven't
started it yet.
Well, I think I know
where I can get the money.
Where?
Just have everybody meet me
at the photographer's
tomorrow right after school.
And tell them to
wear the same clothes
so that nobody will be able
to tell it's a different picture.
But, Jan, where are you
going to get the money?
What does it matter,
as long as I get it?
Hey, where you going
all dressed up like that?
Uh, well, I got this
date to take this chick
down to the pizza place, Alice.
The pizza place...
dressed like that?
You don't know what
a great chick this is.
It took me weeks just
to get introduced to her.
Oh, not you.
Not Greg Brady, the
casanova of Clinton Avenue.
Well, she's real popular.
So I figure I better
look really heavy.
Hmm. I look really heavy
no matter what I wear.
I'll see you later.
Anchovies away!
Hey!
Hey, wait a minute, you guys.
Where do you think you're
going in your good clothes?
Uh... out to play.
Uh, yeah, play.
Since when do you get
dressed up to go out and play?
Well, you see, our
play clothes are clean
and these good
clothes are kind of dirty,
so we don't want to
get our play clothes dirty.
Right, Bobby?
Uh, yeah, this way we just get
our good clothes dirtier.
And you don't have to
wash our play clothes.
Yeah. Bye, so long.
Bye.
I think I detect a little
fancy footwork here.
Well, what perfect timing.
My, don't we look pretty?
Well, thanks, Mom.
Yeah, thanks.
Well, see, kids today
are always wearing jeans
and stuff like that,
and we figured that it'd
be fun to get all dressed up,
like going to a party.
Well, w don't want to be late.
See you.
No. Come on, Cindy.
Late? Late for what?
Alice!
Alice, why are those
girls so dressed up?
Beats me, Mrs. Brady.
Everybody suddenly
decided to get dressed up.
All right, children.
A nice big smile.
That's it... hold it.
Wait a minute.! What's wrong?
I don't think we're
standing the same
as we did last time.
You're right!
I was standing on
the other side of Cindy.
Hey, yeah. Remember?
Children.
Children.
I took the picture
and I remember
your positions exactly.
How were we?
You were exactly...
like you just said.
I'm sure that's it.
Okay, sir, we're ready.
All right, children.
Let's see those
pearly teeth now.
And ready... and set, and...
You got film in the camera?
Of course I have
film in the camera.
Color film?
Yes. Color film.
Yes. Color film.
All right.
Ready and set... Now
smile like last time.
Ready?
Cheese... That's it.
Alice, maybe I ought to
fix Mr. Brady something,
you know, a little
special this morning.
Special?
Well, it is our anniversary.
As if you didn't know.
Congratulations, Mrs. Brady.
Thanks.
Mr. Brady sure
is playing it cool.
Well, you know how husbands are.
No, I don't know
how husbands are.
But I'm dying to find out.
Good morning, Alice.
Ah, honey, how would you like
to have something really
special this morning?
Special?
Why should I want anything
special this morning?
Well, because it's such
an especially nice day.
Oh, well, if you've seen
one especially nice day
you have seen them all.
Ah, but this is a special
especially nice day.
That's funny.
It fell right on
our anniversary.
Oh, Mike Brady, sometimes
I could strangle you.
You're doing a pretty
good job of it right now.
Happy anniversary, darling.
Mmm, happy anniversary.
Surprise!
Open mine first!
No, mine, ladies first.
No, little ladies first.
How about husbands first?
Here you go.
Congratulations, Dad, Mom.
Oh, well, help me open it, Mike.
Okay.
Oh, it's marvelous.
Oh, well, how did
you ever sneak out
and get it done?
Oh, we Bradys move
in mysterious ways.
Oh, there's nothing
I'd rather have.
Oh, Jan, you wore your glasses.
Uh-huh.
Well, come on, everybody.
Let's find a place to hang it.
Jan!
Yeah?
Sit down, honey.
Isn't there something
you should explain to me?
What, Dad?
When we had that picture taken
you didn't have
your glasses yet.
Didn't I?
No, you didn't.
That can't be the
same picture, can it?
It isn't, Dad.
But it wasn't the
other kids' fault.
I ruined the first one because
I wasn't wearing my glasses.
I ran into it with my
bike, in the garage.
Jan, you know you're lucky
you only ran into the picture.
You could have run into
something much worse,
like a car.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'll wear my glasses
from now on,
whenever I'm
supposed to, I promise.
Well, as a little reminder,
I'm afraid I'm going
to have to ground you.
Two weeks.
No bicycle.
Dad, could you make
it something else?
You can't ground me
from riding my bicycle.
Oh, yes, I'm afraid I can.
Well, I don't have
a bicycle anymore.
I sold it to pay for
the new photograph.
Well, all right.
I guess that's
punishment enough.
Maybe we can even find some way
to buy that bicycle back.
Oh, I know a way
we can get the money.
You do? How?
I could sell my glasses.
No.
Oh, honey, it's-it's
drooping just...
yeah, on the left there.
Oh, that's perfect. Yeah.
Alice, isn't that
a lovely picture?
Oh, lovely.
A lot nicer than
the one I just got.
What picture is that, Alice?
The X ray from my dentist.
When you took me
there for my toothache
I was just kidding,
but he wasn't.
He found three cavities.
Oh, Alice.