The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 3, Episode 11 - Click - full transcript

Greg is nervous to tell his mother that he made the school football team. He is right to be nervous as Carol reacts exactly the way he thought she would: she forbids him to play for fear that he will get seriously injured. Greg and Mike are eventually able to convince her to let Greg play, even though she still reserves the right to be worried. It ends up being an even more exciting venture for Greg when he learns he has made first string, at least for the first practice game. One of the other perks for Greg is that he can get up close and personal with the cheerleaders, Linette Carter the one in who he is most interested. He indulges his interest in photography by taking photos of her practicing her cheers. In this regard, he acts as unofficial mentor for aspiring photographer, Bobby, who he tells that candid shots usually turn out better. Back with football, Greg ends up getting injured during the practice game, he having a hairline fractured rib. As such, both Carol and Mike forbid him to play at least until he is out of any medical danger. Greg ends up feeling sorry for himself in losing all the glory he saw as being first string, including possibly losing Linette as a girlfriend. Greg will learn that he doesn't have to be on the field either to attract a girl like Linette, or to make a valuable contribution to the team. Bobby also learns that there may be some practical good to his candid photographs, his subjects who usually didn't appreciate his efforts.

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪



♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

( no audio)

Greg, can you help me?

You know all about cameras.

What's the matter?

Well, the last picture I
took was number seven.

I guess I turned it too hard

because it went all
the way past eight.



The next number
coming up is nine.

So?

So I don't want
to miss a picture.

I spent a whole
allowance on that film.

How do I get it back to eight?

You can't get it back to eight.

( sighs)

Boy, some camera expert you are.

Well, I might as
well get it over with.

Mom, I have something
important I want to tell you.

What is it?

Well...

I'm very hungry.

Yes... Well, that's it.

I'd say he has more
on his mind than food.

I'd say you were right.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, son. What'd your mother say?

I didn't tell her yet.

Hey, I thought that
was the first order

of business right
after breakfast.

It slipped my mind.

You know, rushing around,

trying to get off
to school on time.

You could've told
her after school.

Well, it got kind
of late by then.

Besides, I thought
maybe I could use a little...

A little help?

Yeah.

Come on, we'll
tell her together.

Thanks, Dad.

Oh, hi, honey.

Hi, sweetheart. Hi, Greg.

Hey, something smells
good in the kitchen.

Yeah, it's meat loaf.

Oh.

Yeah, sure smells good.

Real good!

Is something wrong?

No, no, honey, nothing's wrong.

It's uh, just that, um...

Well, Greg has something
he wants to tell you.

Dad, really, I think it'd be
better if maybe you told her.

No, you tell
her. It's all right.

Something is wrong.

I should've known when
you tried to tell me before.

No, honey, believe
me, nothing's wrong.

Honest, it... In fact,
it's kind of great.

Oh, yeah, it's so
great that both of you

are too chicken
to tell me what it is.

Well, Mom, it has
to do with football.

What?

Football.

I guess you don't know
too much about football.

I do, too.

That's that game on TV
that you and your father watch

where all those great big
guys try to kill each other.

What about football?

Uh, you see, I made the
football team at school.

Honey, the coach says

he's a natural flanker back.

Oh, no. No son of mine
is going to play football

with those two-ton monsters.

Oh, honey, the football
players you see on television...

Those are pros.

We're talking about
high school football.

Oh, no, Mike, I don't care

if you're talking
about kindergarten.

Oh, Carol, the coach wouldn't
pick Greg to be on the team

if he didn't think
Greg was up to it.

He's not going to

take unnecessary
chances with the boys.

Yeah, and Dad, tell her about

all the great things
football does for you.

Right. He'll learn the
importance of teamwork...

Of being part of a team.

Yeah, teamwork.

Sure, learn how
to win gracefully.

Yeah, win gracefully.

Lose with dignity.

And lose with... What
do you mean lose?

I'm sorry, Greg,
but football is out.

Mom, a guy can get
hurt right in his own home.

Like falling in a bathtub.

Oh, sure, but he doesn't
have two other guys

in the bathtub with him
trying to knock him down.

Carol, I think you're being
overly concerned about this.

Gosh, um, thousands of
kids play football every week.

CAROL: Well... Hmm?

Maybe you're right.

Does it really mean
so much to you, Greg?

Yeah, it does, Mom.

Well, okay.

But it doesn't mean that
I'm still not going to worry.

( laughs gently)

Thanks, Mom.

Thanks, Dad.

You're welcome.

Oh, come on, honey.

Don't worry, he can
take care of himself.

Why couldn't he go out

for something like
the debating team?

Because you'd be
afraid he'd sprain his toe.

Now, that isn't nice, Mike.

( laughing)

I thought it tasted like lemon.

No, it tasted more
like lime to me.

How do you like that?

The best cake I ever created

and I go and forget
my own secret recipe.

Well, I'll keep thinking, Alice.

Me, too.

Thanks, girls.

I got it, Alice!

This time, I really got it.

Well, whatever it is, don't
give it to the rest of the kids.

I got a football play.

It's a variation on
an "L" -out pattern.

What's an "L" -out pattern?

Let me show you what I mean.

Oh, no!

Was that something important?

( laughs)

Oh, no.

Just a recipe that's
going to remain

as big a mystery as the sphinx.

Oh, Alice, I'm sorry.

No problem.

Now what's this about
an "L" -out pattern?

This is the offensive
team here, okay?

And this is the defensive.

Oh, well, my
money's on that team.

Those little guys are never
gonna be able to get through

those big fat fellas.

No, the circles just mean
that's the defensive team.

Now, I got this play worked out

where this guy fakes a
handoff over here to this guy.

This guy comes
out for the "L"...

Works great on the blackboard.

And I just wish I could find
some players to try it out with.

Oh, I'll volunteer.

I don't know much about football

but I do know that I
personally can fill out

two or three of those circles.

( all yelling)

Okay, team, it's an "L" -out
pattern, Greg Brady version.

On two. Let's go. Okay.

Hut-one, hut-two! Hah!

Fake. Right... Now go long!

Go long! Go long!

( horn honking)

Interception!

Should I do all
the cheers, Greg?

You don't have to say the words,

just make all the moves,

so I can get some action shots.

Okay.

Now that's what I'd call
one of the fringe benefits

of high school football.

That's Linette Carter...

One of the cheerleaders.

Isn't she darling?

Any way you look at her.

Seems like she's got a
bit of a crush on Greg.

Well, I'd rather have
him crushed that way

than on a football field.

( giggling)

I don't even do
this many routines

in a whole football game.

Let's take a break.

I think I got some good shots.

I didn't know you were
an expert with the camera.

Oh, well, it's just a hobby.

And besides, the way
you look in that outfit,

the pictures can't help
but come out good.

I stopped by to watch
football practice the other day

and you looked pretty
terrific in your uniform.

That's just the shoulder
pads and things.

Say, after the game this week,

would you like to go over
to the pizza place with me?

I'd love to.

Great! And afterwards,

maybe we can go back
to the victory dance...

Hey, Greg, if you fix my camera,

I'll take a picture of you.

Some other time, Bobby.

I'm Bobby, Greg's brother.

Hi.

This is Linette.

And we don't want our
picture taken right now, okay?

How do you know?

You didn't even ask her.

Bobby, go do your homework.

I did it.

( chuckling)

Will you run along?

Listen to him... just because
he's on the football team.

When he's a big hero,

we'll be lucky if he
even remembers us.

He's got to remember me.

I live here.

( giggling)

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Greg.

How was practice?

Oh, fine.

Did you... Greg, you're hurt.

Oh, Mom, that's only a small...

that is the worst bruise I
have ever seen in my life.

Now that is just
why I'm so nervous

about your playing football.

That's not from practice.

I did that when I bumped
my arm in math class.

Oh. Does it hurt?

No.

But I'll be glad to quit math if
you think it's too dangerous.

Oh, you are terrible.

( shouting)

( whistle blows)

( whistle blowing)

I thought you'd be dressed
and out by now, Greg.

Oh, hi, Coach.

No, I'm just running over

a couple of these new plays.

I really want to
make first string.

Well, I know you do, son.

Now, come on,
now, get out of here.

First practice game of the
season's tomorrow, remember?

Like, how could I forget?

I expect my first-string players

to get home and get
plenty of sleep tonight.

First string?!

That's right, Greg.

You're starting tomorrow.

Far out!

Well, don't get
too excited about it.

It's just a practice game

until the regular
season begins, now.

Every spot on the team is open.

You'll have to fight
plenty hard to keep it.

Will I ever.

Greg?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure, Bobby, but keep it short.

I got a lot of new
plays to learn.

See that?

Yeah. So?

How come you take
such good pictures

and I take such rotten ones?

There are a lot
of reasons, Bobby.

But you take good
pictures for a guy your age.

I want to take good
pictures for a guy your age.

Every time I take a picture,

everybody comes
out looking dumb.

That's 'cause you
try and pose them.

Next time, take a picture
when they're not expecting it.

Then they never look
stiff, they look natural.

Yeah! I get it!

Thanks, Greg.

Anytime.

Hey, Greg.

( crunching)

Yuck!

These radishes are bitter!

Hey, that's not fair!

I was making a face!

Oh, come on, honey,
where's your sense of humor?

Bobby, I look awful!

Where's your sense
of humor, Alice?

Not so tight.

Sorry.

( quietly): Hey, Pete.

Peter.

( sleepily): Huh...?

There's something
I've got to tell you.

Can't it wait?

No. It's very important.

( shouting, cheering)

( whistle blows)

( whistle blows)

Coach, really, I'm fine.

I just got the wind
knocked out of me.

It's nothing, I'm
ready to go back in.

You let me be the
judge of that, huh?

You guys better get
back to the game. Thanks.

Now lift up that jersey; I want
to take a look at those ribs.

Okay.

See?

It's nothing but a
bruise; just a little red.

Yeah, it might be a bruise.

Ow... And it might
be something more.

Well, there's no sense
taking a chance on it

just for a practice game.

But Coach...!

Now, I'm gonna have
those ribs X-rayed

before I let you suit up for
the opening game Friday.

Look, really, I'm fine.

Yeah. Don't argue
about it, Greg.

I'm going to call your parents.

I think they should run you down

to your own doctor.

My parents... Please,
Coach, call my dad.

Okay, your dad.

Oh, no.

See what I mean?

Those ribs are pretty
painful, aren't they.

Coach, the ribs are nothing.

It's telling my mother
that's gonna be painful.

Yes, Martha, I know.

Yeah, oh, yeah, I will.

All... Well, look,
I have to go now.

I'll call you later, okay? Bye.

Hi, honey. Hi, Greg.

Hello, sweetheart.

How come you're home so early?

Well, honey, uh...

Ah, I know. You
were playing hooky.

I bet you watched
Greg's football game.

No, not exactly.

That was an awfully
short game, wasn't it?

Look, Carol, if you'll
let me explain...

( Greg groans softly)

( grunts)

Greg, what's the matter?

Greg injured his rib.

It's nothing, Mom. The
doctor says I'm fine.

Doctor?! You had
to see the doctor?!

See, Dad? I told you she'd
make a big deal out of it.

Well, look, son, a fractured
rib isn't exactly a little deal.

A fractured rib?!

Just a hairline fracture.

A fracture is a fracture.

But I can still play...
The doctor even said so.

Mike, did he really say that?

Well, he says if he wears
a rib protector of some kind,

he could possibly play,

but there's still
a risk of a break.

Dad, he said only a slight risk.

And only if I get hit

in the exact same spot.

I-I'm sorry, Greg.

Mom, do you know the
chances of getting hit

in exactly the same little spot?

Yes. Zero. Because
you're not playing football.

Oh, Mom, that's...

Son, I'm afraid I'm with
your mother this time.

Dad, I finally
made first string.

Well, let's wait until the doctor
says the rib is completely healed.

Right.

But I'll miss the opening game!

Greg, if you get hurt
again, you may miss

all the rest of the games.

Dinner's ready!

And I got a surprise for you...

Barbecued ribs.

I thought everybody liked ribs.

( groans quietly)

My pictures are dry.
You want to see them?

Some other time,
Bobby, all right?

Please, just look at this one.

( laughs gently)

She's going to love that.

Here, look at the rest of them.

( Greg chuckles softly)

They're great, Bobby.

Coming from an expert like you

that's a real compliment.

Bye.

Greg, are you guys
finished developing

the pictures in there?

We want to wash our hair.

Yeah, we're finished.

Well, then, could
you get your junk out?

Okay, okay.

You've got so much junk in here!

Why don't you take this stuff

down to the laundry room?

Because Alice told
me to take this stuff

up here to the bathroom.

Did you get evicted again?

Yeah, every time someone
wants to shampoo their hair

or wash some clothes.

( chuckles)

Greg, I suppose you
think I let you down.

Dad, there's such a thing

as being too cautious.

Well, I think it's a
matter of viewpoint.

You wanted to play so badly

you were willing
to take the risk.

We weren't.

You can understand that.

I guess.

But that football team
means a lot to me.

Well, look, maybe you can find

another way to help them.

Sure, I could
become the water boy

or equipment manager...

The stuff guys do who
can't make the team.

All right... Those
guys are making

a contribution, too, and
they're having fun at it.

Dad, did you ever
hear a cheering section

give a yell for the water boy?

I doubt it.

Is that why you
want to play football?

For the cheers?

Dad, that's not what I mean.

It's... it's just
that if I can't play,

I don't want any part of it.

Aw, Greg.

You remember what
we told your mother

when she decided
to let you play?

Teamwork?

Win gracefully?

Lose with dignity?

Yeah, I remember.

Right. That wasn't just
a snow job, you know.

I meant that.

And I thought you meant it, too.

I did.

Okay, now you've lost something.

Take it like a man.

( door opens)

Phone call for Mr. Greg Brady.

Who is it?

I didn't ask.

But she sure sounds pretty.

( giggling)

If it's Linette, I'm
about to get dumped.

( slaps)

Yeah, I know I was
supposed to call, Linette.

It's just that you
get busy and stuff.

Well, I was wondering
why I didn't hear from you.

I just wanted to make
sure your ribs were okay.

Well, yeah, I'm okay.

It's just that I didn't think
you'd want to waste time

on an ex-football player.

Wow. That's really insulting.

Insulting?!

What do you mean, insulting?

You must think
I'm a very shallow,

superficial kind of person,

if I like somebody just because
he's on the football team.

I didn't mean it that way.

I guess I just wasn't
thinking, honest.

Well, okay.

I'll see you at the
game on Friday, right?

Well, I wasn't figuring
on going to the game.

Why not?

I just didn't feel like it,
you know what I mean?

Well, I guess.

I thought you could
sit by the cheerleaders

and we could watch together.

Maybe some other time, okay?

Or you could take some
more pictures of me...

You know, giving
cheers at a real game.

Let me think about it, Linette.

Okay. Good night, Greg.

Good night.

( sighs)

Okay, these are all alike.

( saying good-byes)

Now listen, you two guys.

Eat your own lunches, will you

and don't go trading
off with the other kids.

It makes me feel unwanted.

Unwanted?! Your sandwiches
get more for trade-ins

than anybody else's
in the whole school.

Really?

Yeah. Once I traded

one of your peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches

for a turtle.

Thanks.

That's a real compliment.

Good-bye, kids. Have a good day.

( saying good-byes,
blowing kisses)

Morning.

Good morning, Greg.

You gonna take
pictures at school today?

Oh, just some of Linette
leading cheers at the game today.

Oh, I'm glad you decided to go.

Well, Linette asked
me... You know.

Well, I got to run myself.

Good-bye, sweetheart.

Boy, what a mushy
picture this is going to be.

( crowd yelling)

( blowing whistle)

( cheering)

( humming)

Got it!

Hey!

The phantom
photographer strikes again.

Did you win?

No, they did, seven to six.

We got gypped!

The referee made a rotten call.

What happened?

I didn't see the play.

I was taking
pictures of Linette.

Well, I saw the play.

Our guy caught a
pass for a touchdown...

And I still say it was inbounds.

The referee said it was out?

Yeah. It's like this:

The score is 7-6, their favor.

Yeah? It's the last
seconds of the game.

Last seconds.

And the only chance
we have is a long pass.

And they knew it,
so they red dogged.

What's a red dog?

I'll show you.

PETER: A red dog...

No, no, no! Not the blackboard!

Was it something
important, Alice?

Just a recipe that's
been handed down

from generation to generation.

Ending with this one.

Hi, son.

Hi, Dad.

Peter told me the bad news.

Aw, the referee
made a rotten call.

Yeah. What was the score?

Seven to six.

These are shots
you took at the game?

Yeah, some pictures of Linette

doing her cheerleading stuff.

I wanted to get them ready

so I can give
them to her tonight.

Hey, these are pretty good.

Thanks.

Hey, now that's
a really good shot.

That's a good action shot.

I should've been watching
the game on that one.

That's the play that
lost it for us, right there...

And that's our pass receiver.

MIKE: Oh, yeah.

Well, that looks
like a good catch.

You know, if you enlarge this,

you might be able to tell
whether he was inbounds or not.

Yeah, yeah...
Dad, let's blow it up.

Yeah.

GREG: Hmm... you still
can't tell if his foot's inbounds.

Blow it up some more.

Aw, there's no
doubt about it, Greg.

He was inbounds.

GREG: Yeah.

Boy, I'll bet the coach
would sure love to see this.

Yep.

Can I borrow your car, Dad?

Come on, I'll drive
over with you. Okay.

( switch clicks)

Well, Greg, what
did the coach say?

Is your team going to win now?

Ah, it's pretty
hard to challenge

a judgment call, Mom.

But I think it'll give the coach

some good
ammunition to fight with.

Yeah, he was pleased
about the picture.

But go ahead and tell
your mom the real news.

The real news...?

Well, Mom, I'm back on the team.

You're what?!

As official photographer.

Greg's gonna
photograph the games

so the coach and
team can study it later.

Yeah, I get a movie camera,
a press pass, the whole works.

Well, thank goodness!
That way you won't get hurt.

Unless... Unless what?

Unless I get a broken eyelash

from looking through
the viewfinder.

Unless I break
something else first.

It's no use.

It's lost forever.

Hang in there, Alice.

( sighs)

Hey, Greg,

here's the picture
I took of Alice.

Is it okay?

( laughing): That's funny.

Alice, you should see the
expression on your face.

Better not show it to
her. She won't like it.

Uh, let me see
that, uh, young man.

Promise you won't get mad?

I promise.

But I don't promise
to keep the promise.

Bobby!

You're mad.

I'm not! I love it!

It's the best picture
you ever took in your life!

It is?!

Well, not of me,

but you got a picture
of my secret recipe

on the blackboard
in the background!

( laughing)

Bless your heart!

Look at that! I can
see every ingredient!