The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 2, Episode 9 - The Not-So-Ugly Duckling - full transcript
Jan has invited Clark Tyson over to help her with her homework. She has a crush on Clark, but he doesn't even really know that Jan exists as a member of the opposite sex. But Clark goes ga-ga over Marcia, who in turn just sees him as Jan's little friend. After Jan asks Greg's advice "for a friend", Jan believes that there is something about her face that is turning off Clark, most specifically her freckles, which she'll do anything to get rid of. But when she overhears Peter talking about a girl that he and Clark like that has freckles, a despondent Jan has no more excuses for why Clark isn't attracted to her. As Mike and Carol can see Jan is upset about the situation with Clark, they who are planning a surprise birthday party for her to cheer her up, Jan instead makes up a make believe boyfriend names George Glass so that they won't feel sorry for her. Mike and Carol want to invite George to the party, but when the search for him is unsuccessful, they come to the realization of what is really going on. They decide to take the matter into their own hands to make Jan truly understand the mentality of the eleven year old boy.
♪ Here's the story ♪
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when ♪
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was ♪
♪ Much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group must ♪
♪ Somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all ♪
♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we became ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch. ♪
Clark?
Huh?
This map of the United
States I'm drawing
looks kind of weird.
Oh, it'd look better
if you hadn't forgotten
Baja California.
Yeah, I guess that would help.
How's the homework going?
Terrific.
Clark's so wonderful, so super.
I can't believe it.
I'll take one just like him
in the big economy size.
Little girls are so funny.
Jan was so worried she'd
never have a boyfriend.
Well, let's face
it... 11 years old!
She's not getting any younger.
Mom, have you or Alice
seen my math book?
I think it's in the
family room, Marcia.
Thanks.
Honey, Jan and Clark Tyson
are in there studying.
I won't disturb them.
Hi.
Hi.
Clark, this is my
sister, Marcia.
This is Clark Tyson.
Hi!
Hi.
We're studying for a
geography test tomorrow.
I'll get out of your way.
No hurry.
Wow, have you got a neat sister!
You think so?
Wow! How did you
get a sister like her?
Just lucky, I guess.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Hi, honey.
How was your day?
Just terrible.
The worst. Really the worst.
I'm so mad I could...
Oh, am I mad!
Something happen at school?
Something didn't
happen at school.
Clark didn't even look at me.
I saw him at lunch, and I
passed him in the hall five times.
Maybe he had something
else on his mind.
He sure did... Marcia.
Marcia?
Yes, Marcia.
It's all her fault.
What's Marcia got
to do with Clark?
Well, I'm not sure,
but I think our
blue-eyed daughter
has been smitten by
the green-eyed monster.
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the fairest one of all?
Hi. What's with you?
What I want to know is
what's with you...
and Clark Tyson?
Who?
Don't pretend you
don't remember.
After what you did yesterday
when Clark and I were studying,
and you came
slinking in... Oh, him.
Your little friend from school.
He's not my little
friend from school.
He's taller than I am,
and he's the best-looking
boy in my class.
You came in there on purpose
just to turn on
your icky old charm.
Are you kidding?
Why would I be
interested in him?
He's only a child,
and I'm a woman.
He's not a child. He's 12.
You're being ridiculous.
All I did was walk in the
room and pick up my book.
Well, if that's all,
why did his eyes nearly
pop out of his head?
I can't help it if
his eyes popped.
You were trying to steal my
boyfriend, and you know it.
I just came in for my book.
Then why did he drool over you,
and pay no attention to me?
Jan, if boys don't
find you attractive,
don't blame it on me.
Marcia, what's going
on between you and Jan?
I don't know, Mom.
She came in here accusing me
of stealing her boyfriend.
Imagine! A mature person like me
trying to steal a 12-year-old.
Well...
you must have done
something, honey.
Not a thing. Honest.
Yesterday, when she
was studying with Clark,
and I went in to get
my book, I said hi.
Now, what's wrong with that?
Well, that all depends
on how you said it.
Hi, or... Hi.
Mom, it's nothing
more than sibling rivalry.
That means competition
between brothers or sisters.
Gee, I'm glad you
cleared that up.
As long as you're smart
enough to know what it means,
let's see if you're smart
enough to help put a stop to it.
I'll do everything I can,
but it's really up to Jan.
Greg?
Yeah?
You busy?
Yeah. What do you want?
I need some advice.
Okay.
Shoot.
It's about boys.
I thought you shrewd females
knew all about us
poor, dumb guys.
Well, this is for
a friend of mine.
See, she met this real cute guy,
and everything was groovy.
Until then, all of a
sudden, he lost interest.
Why would a guy
do this to my friend?
Just lose interest?
Maybe she's using the
wrong kind of toothpaste.
I'm serious, Greg.
Well, how should I know?
The guy probably found
something about her he didn't like.
Such as what?
Maybe she's got a face
that would scare snakes.
She has not.
Is she too fat?
No.
Too thin?
No.
Well, then it's got to
be her crummy face.
Who is it?
Just some unfortunate girl.
Thanks, Greg.
Yuck!
It's my crummy face.
Greg was right.
Rotten freckles.
Cinnamon cookies!
They're Jan's favorites.
Thought I'd make
some to cheer her up.
Well, I guess a
shattered romance
can be pretty rough at that age.
Oh, yeah.
I remember when I was ten or 11,
I had a big crush on a girl.
Had three teeth
missing in front.
You or the girl?
The girl.
Yeah... she was all
gums, but I loved her.
Threw me over for a
kid who could whistle
through his nose.
Oh, Mike.
I once had an offer of
marriage when I was seven.
Looking back, I
should've taken it.
Mom?
Can I go to the store, please?
Well, don't be long, dear.
Dinner's almost ready.
Who can eat?
I wish there was
something we could do
to make her feel better.
Maybe we could give her
some of her birthday
presents in advance.
Hey, better than that...
How about a surprise
birthday party?
Wonderful.
A party's a sure
cure for the blues.
With balloons and
paper streamers
and cake and ice cream?
The works!
Now, this is a very
important meeting.
High-level, top-secret stuff.
Jan isn't here yet.
That's the whole point.
We're planning her
surprise birthday party
for Saturday night.
A surprise party?
Neato.
What do we do?
We'll do anything.
Just tell us.
Cindy, you're in charge
of putting candles
on the birthday cake.
You know how many to put on?
Sure. I can even
count high enough
to put candles on your cake.
That many candles would
be against the fire laws.
Marcia, you have the
honor of baking the cake.
Oh, great. Let's see...
I'll bake a double chiffon...
orange, three-layer,
upside-down,
with pink frosting and...
peppermint sherbet filling.
Bobby, you're in charge
of blowing up the balloons.
A good job for him...
He's a windbag.
Na-na-na, na-na, na-na.
Greg, you and Peter will be
in charge of the decorations.
Balloons, paper
streamers, all that jazz.
Now, any questions?
Who's in charge of ice cream?
That's my department.
Want to trade? You
blow up balloons,
and I could be in
charge of the ice cream.
That would be like putting a
mouse in charge of the cheese.
Thank you.
Something for you, young lady?
Oh, I was just looking around.
Do you have any kind of, um...
well... something
to get rid of freckles?
Freckles?
It's for a friend of mine.
For a friend of yours. Hmm...
I suppose these
freckles she has...
They're a real big problem?
They're ruining her life.
Oh, that's too bad.
Making her a social outcast.
Oh, that is a shame.
Pretty girl, I suppose,
if it weren't for
those old freckles.
Well, she's not bad-looking.
I mean, not really
ugly or anything.
It's just... Those old freckles.
I can see you understand.
Indeed I do.
Well, is there anything I
can... I mean, she can use?
Well, there's some
creams and ointments,
but I wouldn't recommend them.
Oh.
You might suggest to your friend
that a little lemon
juice wouldn't hurt.
And stay out of the sun, too.
I sure will.
Thank you.
We've got to hide
these birthday presents
someplace where Jan won't look.
Hey, how about under my bed?
Sure.
Yikes!
Get under the bed!
What's she doing with lemons?
I guess she wants sour skin.
You should have
seen the neat girl
Clark Tyson and I
walked home with.
Her name's Ginny Wilmer.
Talk about cool.
Yeah, I saw her.
She's not bad.
She's really neat.
All the guys in our
class are flipped.
Well, I only saw
her from a distance.
She's even better up close.
Kind of crazy eyes.
Lots of freckles.
Boy, do they make
her look out of sight!
There goes your last excuse.
It isn't the freckles.
It's just dumb old you.
Bobby, would you mind
telling everyone dinner's ready?
Okay. But what's
the matter with Jan?
She sure is acting funny.
In what way?
First, she rubbed a
lemon on her face,
and then she started crying.
Lemon?
Jan?
Dinner's about ready.
I'm not hungry.
Hey, hey, what's the problem?
Come on, let's talk about it.
There's nothing to talk about.
Jan, you'll only make it
worse keeping it to yourself.
Nobody understands.
Oh, I think we do, Jan.
Clark Tyson's just one boy.
One of these days,
you'll meet another one.
You sure will.
Hundreds of them.
You mustn't feel left out
because you don't
have a boyfriend now.
But I do have a boyfriend.
Oh, you do?
He's one of the nicest
boys in the school.
And he thinks I'm super cool.
That's wonderful.
What's his name?
His name... is George.
George what?
George, uh... George... Glass.
George Glass.
I'll go wash up for dinner.
I'm starved.
A minute ago, she was
never going to eat again.
Now she's starved and
has a new boyfriend.
Hmm... Well, go
figure out a woman.
Even her size.
Wow! That's pretty wild.
Way out.
That's really something.
What is it?
A painting.
Yeah, well, the idea
had occurred to us.
I painted it for Jan's
birthday Saturday.
Oh, she'll love it, Peter.
But you may have
to explain what it is.
It's supposed to be an elephant
walking through some woods.
Oh, yeah, of course.
It's an elephant.
Oh, sure. I can
see it clearly now.
There's the old
elephant, right there.
That's a clump of trees.
The elephant's over here.
Oh, well, with
this light in here,
it's kind of hard to see.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, honey. How's
the new boyfriend?
Huh?
George.
Oh, George. Terrific.
Every day, in school,
he carries my books
and my tray in the cafeteria.
He's out of sight.
I'm home.
Hi, pumpkin.
Hi, Daddy.
Hey, what does he look like?
Who?
George... your new boyfriend.
He's sort of tall and
dark and handsome.
How come you never
said anything about him?
I don't go around blabbing.
What's so unusual about
having a new boyfriend?
It just seems funny
you never said anything.
Yeah. How come he never phones?
Oh. Well, don't worry. He will.
Hello, operator?
Will you call back on 762-0799?
There may be something
wrong with our bell.
Thank you.
I'll get it.
Sure.
Hello.
This is Jan.
Oh, hi, George.
It's so thoughtful
of you to call.
Excuse me, George.
Do you mind? This is
a personal phone call.
Yes, George, I'm listening.
Okay, you guys.
The other girls were
absolutely green with envy
when this real cute
boy started talking to me.
What boy? Gordon?
Oh, Dad.
I'm talking about Tommy.
Oh, Mike, you're out of it.
Gordon was weeks ago.
You got to have a computer
to keep up with her boyfriends.
We forgot the pickles.
I'll get them.
No, I'll go.
Hello, operator?
We're having trouble
with our phone.
Will you call back
at 762-0799, please?
Thank you.
Hey, where are the pickles?
I guess we're out of them.
I'll get it.
Ah...!
I'll put up a sign:
"Watch out for housekeepers
crossing highway."
Thanks, Alice.
Hello.
Oh, hi, George.
Sure, I can talk.
It's so sweet of
you to call, George.
King George is back on the line.
His father must own
the phone company.
Boy, is he giving her the rush.
Mind an interruption, dear?
No.
I have an inspiration.
Bring it in. I could use one.
You know how crazy
Jan is about George.
Why don't we invite
him to her birthday party?
That way, she'd have
a double surprise.
Hey, you're right.
That is an inspiration.
Of course, we
have to find George
without letting Jan know.
I'll round up the other kids
and put them on his trail.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, honey. How did it go?
What about George?
I couldn't find him.
There's no George
in Jan's class.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, honey.
Oh, hey, wait a minute.
What's the word on George?
It's a mystery, Dad. Really.
What do you mean?
I checked in the
attendance office.
There's no George
Glass in the whole school.
Well, Mike, the mystery
about George deepens.
Oh, yeah? How do you mean?
I covered this whole area.
There's no George
Glass in this part of town.
That's strange.
Sorry.
You tried, Greg.
Mike, are you thinking
the same thing I'm thinking?
Mm-hmm. There's no
George Glass, period.
Exactly.
Why? Why this problem with boys?
She's bright and attractive.
I wish I knew.
We'd have to ask a boy.
What do you want to
ask me about, Mrs. Brady?
Thank you.
Well, Clark, we've been
curious about something.
And, since you're
in Jan's class,
we thought you
might be able to tell us.
I'll try.
It's about Jan.
How do the boys feel about her?
They all like her.
They do?
Yeah. She's a real good guy.
"Guy"?
But, Clark, Jan is a girl.
Yeah, but she doesn't
look too much like one.
She doesn't wear groovy clothes.
You don't say?
She's a swell guy.
Thanks, Clark.
I get the picture.
Good arm.
Dad!
No pictures! I look terrible!
I'll make sure to
keep you off-camera.
Okay, let's go, Jan.
Hi.
Gee... I didn't even
know it was you.
Yeah, this dress is
kind of dumb, isn't it?
What's so dumb about it?
I think it's cool.
You mean you like it?
Yeah, I like it.
You make a great-looking girl.
Wow!
Gee, thanks.
Happy birthday! Surprise!
Surprise! Happy birthday!
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, Jan.
Oh, gee, thanks, Clark.
Oh, Mom, Dad, it's terrific.
I couldn't have
been more surprised.
Yeah. One thing, though.
How about George?
Oh, it doesn't really matter.
I've given George up.
To me, he doesn't
even exist anymore.
Here you go.
A piece for you.
Hold on one second.
And a scoop coming up.
Whammo.
Seconds?
Well, that must be good cake.
There you go.
Whammo number two.
That's good.
Have you tasted this?
Yeah. It's thick
and rich and gooey.
Just the way I love it.
Well, I think the party's
a swinging success.
Yep. Two down, one to go.
What do you mean?
First, Marcia had a
boyfriend problem,
then it was Jan. Cindy's next.
Cindy? She's only
eight years old.
She won't be
interested in boys for...
a couple of weeks yet.
I think I'd like to
amend that prediction.
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when ♪
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was ♪
♪ Much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group must ♪
♪ Somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all ♪
♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we became ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch. ♪
Clark?
Huh?
This map of the United
States I'm drawing
looks kind of weird.
Oh, it'd look better
if you hadn't forgotten
Baja California.
Yeah, I guess that would help.
How's the homework going?
Terrific.
Clark's so wonderful, so super.
I can't believe it.
I'll take one just like him
in the big economy size.
Little girls are so funny.
Jan was so worried she'd
never have a boyfriend.
Well, let's face
it... 11 years old!
She's not getting any younger.
Mom, have you or Alice
seen my math book?
I think it's in the
family room, Marcia.
Thanks.
Honey, Jan and Clark Tyson
are in there studying.
I won't disturb them.
Hi.
Hi.
Clark, this is my
sister, Marcia.
This is Clark Tyson.
Hi!
Hi.
We're studying for a
geography test tomorrow.
I'll get out of your way.
No hurry.
Wow, have you got a neat sister!
You think so?
Wow! How did you
get a sister like her?
Just lucky, I guess.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Hi, honey.
How was your day?
Just terrible.
The worst. Really the worst.
I'm so mad I could...
Oh, am I mad!
Something happen at school?
Something didn't
happen at school.
Clark didn't even look at me.
I saw him at lunch, and I
passed him in the hall five times.
Maybe he had something
else on his mind.
He sure did... Marcia.
Marcia?
Yes, Marcia.
It's all her fault.
What's Marcia got
to do with Clark?
Well, I'm not sure,
but I think our
blue-eyed daughter
has been smitten by
the green-eyed monster.
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the fairest one of all?
Hi. What's with you?
What I want to know is
what's with you...
and Clark Tyson?
Who?
Don't pretend you
don't remember.
After what you did yesterday
when Clark and I were studying,
and you came
slinking in... Oh, him.
Your little friend from school.
He's not my little
friend from school.
He's taller than I am,
and he's the best-looking
boy in my class.
You came in there on purpose
just to turn on
your icky old charm.
Are you kidding?
Why would I be
interested in him?
He's only a child,
and I'm a woman.
He's not a child. He's 12.
You're being ridiculous.
All I did was walk in the
room and pick up my book.
Well, if that's all,
why did his eyes nearly
pop out of his head?
I can't help it if
his eyes popped.
You were trying to steal my
boyfriend, and you know it.
I just came in for my book.
Then why did he drool over you,
and pay no attention to me?
Jan, if boys don't
find you attractive,
don't blame it on me.
Marcia, what's going
on between you and Jan?
I don't know, Mom.
She came in here accusing me
of stealing her boyfriend.
Imagine! A mature person like me
trying to steal a 12-year-old.
Well...
you must have done
something, honey.
Not a thing. Honest.
Yesterday, when she
was studying with Clark,
and I went in to get
my book, I said hi.
Now, what's wrong with that?
Well, that all depends
on how you said it.
Hi, or... Hi.
Mom, it's nothing
more than sibling rivalry.
That means competition
between brothers or sisters.
Gee, I'm glad you
cleared that up.
As long as you're smart
enough to know what it means,
let's see if you're smart
enough to help put a stop to it.
I'll do everything I can,
but it's really up to Jan.
Greg?
Yeah?
You busy?
Yeah. What do you want?
I need some advice.
Okay.
Shoot.
It's about boys.
I thought you shrewd females
knew all about us
poor, dumb guys.
Well, this is for
a friend of mine.
See, she met this real cute guy,
and everything was groovy.
Until then, all of a
sudden, he lost interest.
Why would a guy
do this to my friend?
Just lose interest?
Maybe she's using the
wrong kind of toothpaste.
I'm serious, Greg.
Well, how should I know?
The guy probably found
something about her he didn't like.
Such as what?
Maybe she's got a face
that would scare snakes.
She has not.
Is she too fat?
No.
Too thin?
No.
Well, then it's got to
be her crummy face.
Who is it?
Just some unfortunate girl.
Thanks, Greg.
Yuck!
It's my crummy face.
Greg was right.
Rotten freckles.
Cinnamon cookies!
They're Jan's favorites.
Thought I'd make
some to cheer her up.
Well, I guess a
shattered romance
can be pretty rough at that age.
Oh, yeah.
I remember when I was ten or 11,
I had a big crush on a girl.
Had three teeth
missing in front.
You or the girl?
The girl.
Yeah... she was all
gums, but I loved her.
Threw me over for a
kid who could whistle
through his nose.
Oh, Mike.
I once had an offer of
marriage when I was seven.
Looking back, I
should've taken it.
Mom?
Can I go to the store, please?
Well, don't be long, dear.
Dinner's almost ready.
Who can eat?
I wish there was
something we could do
to make her feel better.
Maybe we could give her
some of her birthday
presents in advance.
Hey, better than that...
How about a surprise
birthday party?
Wonderful.
A party's a sure
cure for the blues.
With balloons and
paper streamers
and cake and ice cream?
The works!
Now, this is a very
important meeting.
High-level, top-secret stuff.
Jan isn't here yet.
That's the whole point.
We're planning her
surprise birthday party
for Saturday night.
A surprise party?
Neato.
What do we do?
We'll do anything.
Just tell us.
Cindy, you're in charge
of putting candles
on the birthday cake.
You know how many to put on?
Sure. I can even
count high enough
to put candles on your cake.
That many candles would
be against the fire laws.
Marcia, you have the
honor of baking the cake.
Oh, great. Let's see...
I'll bake a double chiffon...
orange, three-layer,
upside-down,
with pink frosting and...
peppermint sherbet filling.
Bobby, you're in charge
of blowing up the balloons.
A good job for him...
He's a windbag.
Na-na-na, na-na, na-na.
Greg, you and Peter will be
in charge of the decorations.
Balloons, paper
streamers, all that jazz.
Now, any questions?
Who's in charge of ice cream?
That's my department.
Want to trade? You
blow up balloons,
and I could be in
charge of the ice cream.
That would be like putting a
mouse in charge of the cheese.
Thank you.
Something for you, young lady?
Oh, I was just looking around.
Do you have any kind of, um...
well... something
to get rid of freckles?
Freckles?
It's for a friend of mine.
For a friend of yours. Hmm...
I suppose these
freckles she has...
They're a real big problem?
They're ruining her life.
Oh, that's too bad.
Making her a social outcast.
Oh, that is a shame.
Pretty girl, I suppose,
if it weren't for
those old freckles.
Well, she's not bad-looking.
I mean, not really
ugly or anything.
It's just... Those old freckles.
I can see you understand.
Indeed I do.
Well, is there anything I
can... I mean, she can use?
Well, there's some
creams and ointments,
but I wouldn't recommend them.
Oh.
You might suggest to your friend
that a little lemon
juice wouldn't hurt.
And stay out of the sun, too.
I sure will.
Thank you.
We've got to hide
these birthday presents
someplace where Jan won't look.
Hey, how about under my bed?
Sure.
Yikes!
Get under the bed!
What's she doing with lemons?
I guess she wants sour skin.
You should have
seen the neat girl
Clark Tyson and I
walked home with.
Her name's Ginny Wilmer.
Talk about cool.
Yeah, I saw her.
She's not bad.
She's really neat.
All the guys in our
class are flipped.
Well, I only saw
her from a distance.
She's even better up close.
Kind of crazy eyes.
Lots of freckles.
Boy, do they make
her look out of sight!
There goes your last excuse.
It isn't the freckles.
It's just dumb old you.
Bobby, would you mind
telling everyone dinner's ready?
Okay. But what's
the matter with Jan?
She sure is acting funny.
In what way?
First, she rubbed a
lemon on her face,
and then she started crying.
Lemon?
Jan?
Dinner's about ready.
I'm not hungry.
Hey, hey, what's the problem?
Come on, let's talk about it.
There's nothing to talk about.
Jan, you'll only make it
worse keeping it to yourself.
Nobody understands.
Oh, I think we do, Jan.
Clark Tyson's just one boy.
One of these days,
you'll meet another one.
You sure will.
Hundreds of them.
You mustn't feel left out
because you don't
have a boyfriend now.
But I do have a boyfriend.
Oh, you do?
He's one of the nicest
boys in the school.
And he thinks I'm super cool.
That's wonderful.
What's his name?
His name... is George.
George what?
George, uh... George... Glass.
George Glass.
I'll go wash up for dinner.
I'm starved.
A minute ago, she was
never going to eat again.
Now she's starved and
has a new boyfriend.
Hmm... Well, go
figure out a woman.
Even her size.
Wow! That's pretty wild.
Way out.
That's really something.
What is it?
A painting.
Yeah, well, the idea
had occurred to us.
I painted it for Jan's
birthday Saturday.
Oh, she'll love it, Peter.
But you may have
to explain what it is.
It's supposed to be an elephant
walking through some woods.
Oh, yeah, of course.
It's an elephant.
Oh, sure. I can
see it clearly now.
There's the old
elephant, right there.
That's a clump of trees.
The elephant's over here.
Oh, well, with
this light in here,
it's kind of hard to see.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, honey. How's
the new boyfriend?
Huh?
George.
Oh, George. Terrific.
Every day, in school,
he carries my books
and my tray in the cafeteria.
He's out of sight.
I'm home.
Hi, pumpkin.
Hi, Daddy.
Hey, what does he look like?
Who?
George... your new boyfriend.
He's sort of tall and
dark and handsome.
How come you never
said anything about him?
I don't go around blabbing.
What's so unusual about
having a new boyfriend?
It just seems funny
you never said anything.
Yeah. How come he never phones?
Oh. Well, don't worry. He will.
Hello, operator?
Will you call back on 762-0799?
There may be something
wrong with our bell.
Thank you.
I'll get it.
Sure.
Hello.
This is Jan.
Oh, hi, George.
It's so thoughtful
of you to call.
Excuse me, George.
Do you mind? This is
a personal phone call.
Yes, George, I'm listening.
Okay, you guys.
The other girls were
absolutely green with envy
when this real cute
boy started talking to me.
What boy? Gordon?
Oh, Dad.
I'm talking about Tommy.
Oh, Mike, you're out of it.
Gordon was weeks ago.
You got to have a computer
to keep up with her boyfriends.
We forgot the pickles.
I'll get them.
No, I'll go.
Hello, operator?
We're having trouble
with our phone.
Will you call back
at 762-0799, please?
Thank you.
Hey, where are the pickles?
I guess we're out of them.
I'll get it.
Ah...!
I'll put up a sign:
"Watch out for housekeepers
crossing highway."
Thanks, Alice.
Hello.
Oh, hi, George.
Sure, I can talk.
It's so sweet of
you to call, George.
King George is back on the line.
His father must own
the phone company.
Boy, is he giving her the rush.
Mind an interruption, dear?
No.
I have an inspiration.
Bring it in. I could use one.
You know how crazy
Jan is about George.
Why don't we invite
him to her birthday party?
That way, she'd have
a double surprise.
Hey, you're right.
That is an inspiration.
Of course, we
have to find George
without letting Jan know.
I'll round up the other kids
and put them on his trail.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, honey. How did it go?
What about George?
I couldn't find him.
There's no George
in Jan's class.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, honey.
Oh, hey, wait a minute.
What's the word on George?
It's a mystery, Dad. Really.
What do you mean?
I checked in the
attendance office.
There's no George
Glass in the whole school.
Well, Mike, the mystery
about George deepens.
Oh, yeah? How do you mean?
I covered this whole area.
There's no George
Glass in this part of town.
That's strange.
Sorry.
You tried, Greg.
Mike, are you thinking
the same thing I'm thinking?
Mm-hmm. There's no
George Glass, period.
Exactly.
Why? Why this problem with boys?
She's bright and attractive.
I wish I knew.
We'd have to ask a boy.
What do you want to
ask me about, Mrs. Brady?
Thank you.
Well, Clark, we've been
curious about something.
And, since you're
in Jan's class,
we thought you
might be able to tell us.
I'll try.
It's about Jan.
How do the boys feel about her?
They all like her.
They do?
Yeah. She's a real good guy.
"Guy"?
But, Clark, Jan is a girl.
Yeah, but she doesn't
look too much like one.
She doesn't wear groovy clothes.
You don't say?
She's a swell guy.
Thanks, Clark.
I get the picture.
Good arm.
Dad!
No pictures! I look terrible!
I'll make sure to
keep you off-camera.
Okay, let's go, Jan.
Hi.
Gee... I didn't even
know it was you.
Yeah, this dress is
kind of dumb, isn't it?
What's so dumb about it?
I think it's cool.
You mean you like it?
Yeah, I like it.
You make a great-looking girl.
Wow!
Gee, thanks.
Happy birthday! Surprise!
Surprise! Happy birthday!
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, Jan.
Oh, gee, thanks, Clark.
Oh, Mom, Dad, it's terrific.
I couldn't have
been more surprised.
Yeah. One thing, though.
How about George?
Oh, it doesn't really matter.
I've given George up.
To me, he doesn't
even exist anymore.
Here you go.
A piece for you.
Hold on one second.
And a scoop coming up.
Whammo.
Seconds?
Well, that must be good cake.
There you go.
Whammo number two.
That's good.
Have you tasted this?
Yeah. It's thick
and rich and gooey.
Just the way I love it.
Well, I think the party's
a swinging success.
Yep. Two down, one to go.
What do you mean?
First, Marcia had a
boyfriend problem,
then it was Jan. Cindy's next.
Cindy? She's only
eight years old.
She won't be
interested in boys for...
a couple of weeks yet.
I think I'd like to
amend that prediction.