The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 2, Episode 8 - A Fistful of Reasons - full transcript

A teary eyed Cindy ultimately tells her parents why she's been crying and why she didn't want to talk about it: the kids at school, but particularly an older boy named Buddy Hinton, have been cruelly teasing her about sounding like a baby because she lisps. Her parents tell her that she'll outgrow the lisp, but that practicing tongue twisters might help. Later, when Buddy's teasing continues, Peter comes to her rescue. But Buddy wants to get into a fight with Peter, who refuses in part because Buddy's bigger than him. So now Buddy is picking on two Bradys, who he calls "Baby Talk" and "Peter Chicken". Mike's advice to Peter to reason with Buddy escalates matters. Once Mike meets Mr. Hinton and Carol meets Mrs. Hinton, they come to understand why Buddy is the way that he is. So when Peter admits he is scared of Buddy, Mike teaches Peter how to fight, since there seems to be no other way to deal with a bully like Buddy. With these new skills in hand, will Peter be able to resolve the issue with Buddy on his own and Cindy's behalf?

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪



♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was ♪

♪ Much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must ♪

♪ Somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all ♪

♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch. ♪

Hi, Cindy.

Did Bobby come home with you?



Where's Bobby?

Did he stay at the playground?

You know, I think I just
got snubbed by Cindy.

Cindy?

Oh, that's not like her, Alice.

No. I guess she's got
something else on her mind.

Oh, I'm sure that's it.

Come on, everybody!

Dinner's ready!

Come on.

Maybe we ought to
stick a traffic light in there.

Where's Jan and Cindy?

Jan's getting washed, and
Cindy won't come down.

Won't come down? Why?

She won't say.

In fact, she won't talk at all.

Cindy... aren't you
coming to dinner?

Don't you feel well, sweetheart?

You didn't hurt
yourself, did you?

You angry with
one of your sisters?

One of your brothers?

Cindy, honey, won't you
tell us what's the matter?

Cindy... you know,
whatever the trouble is,

we can't help you if you
don't talk to us, hmm?

Oh, honey... what is it?

They said I talk funny.

They what?

They said I talk like a baby.

Who said?

Kids at school.

Especially that mean
old Buddy Hinton.

He always teases
me because I lisp.

Well... that shows
you what they know.

Did you know a
lot of children lisp?

They do?

Why, sure.

I think, in your case,
it's just a... a lazy "S."

A lazy "S"?

Mm-hmm.

But listen,

I used to lisp when
I was a little girl,

but now I say
things really swell.

You know, I bet we
could do something

to help you get over that lisp.

What?

You know those
tongue-twister books of Bobby's?

We could pick out some
with a whole lot of S's in them,

and you could practice them.

Sure. Let's do it now.

"Silly Sammy Skunk
sat on a stump."

That's an awful lot of S's.

That's the point. Now you try.

Silly Sammy Skunk sat on a...

Let's try this one, honey.

"Seven silver swans
swam silently seaward."

Seven silver swans
swim silently...

It doesn't sound any better.

Well, now, honey,

you... you can't expect
a change right away.

That's right. Listen.

You've had enough for tonight.

Why don't you go upstairs

and get ready for bed, okay?

Okay. Night.

Now, listen, Cindy.

Now, don't give up now.

You keep practicing, hmm?

Okay. And someday
I'll speak swell.

Good night, honey.

Good night.

Say... did you
really lisp as a child?

I sure did, only it
was worse for me.

How come?

Well, I grew up

in Swampscott, Massachusetts.

All right, let's try this one.

Uh... "She sells
seashells by the seashore."

She sells sea...
She sells sle...

That's not quite right.
Listen again, honey.

She shells sh...

See sells...

She shells...

Well, you know, Cindy,
I'm really kind of busy.

I better go get
ready for shupper.

Sss... Shh... Sss... Sss...

Sss... All right,
now say the word.

Thailboat!

"She sells seashells
by the seashore."

"She sells seashells
by the seashore."

"She sells seashells
by the seashore."

Cindy, would you mind
practicing somewhere else?

Arithmetic is kind of hard.

So are S's.

"She sells seashells
by the seashore."

"She sells seashells
by the seashore."

"Seven silver swans
swam silently seaward."

"Seven silver swans
swam silently..."

Baby talk, baby talk.

It's a wonder you can walk.

Stop that, Buddy Hinton.

"Th-op that!"

Aw, witty-bitty baby talk.

Let's hear witty-bitty
baby talk say something.

Come on.

Say something.

Cut that out, Buddy!

Baby, baby, what did you say?

Quit teasing my sister!

You want me to quit?

Then you make me!

Come on, make me!

Come on, scaredy-cat, make me!

Well... just stop
teasing, that's all.

Come on, Cindy.

Just don't pay any
attention to him.

Baby talk and scaredy-cat.

Hey, chicken!

Hey, Peter-chicken.

Some chickens are nice, Peter.

Come on, Cindy.

Cindy, do you mind?

We have to talk to Peter,

and it's man's business.

Yeah, man's business.

We heard all about
what happened in school.

That goon, Buddy Hinton...

He's been shooting his mouth
off all around your school.

He says you're chicken.

Well, what happened?

What'd he say happened?

He said you
chickened out of a fight.

I didn't chicken
out of any fight.

I just didn't feel very
much like fighting, that's all.

Hi, honey.

Oh, Mike, would you go
right up and talk to Peter?

That's one nice thing
about having six kids.

You can always
come home to a crisis.

Well, Peter's
really feeling low.

What happened?

Well, you know that
boy, Buddy Hinton,

who's always teasing Cindy?

Yeah? Well, Peter
told him to stop.

The boy wanted to
fight, and Peter didn't.

The boy called
Peter a chicken, and...

And I better go up
and talk to Peter.

You got to, Peter.

You got to fight him!

Have you guys taken a look

at Buddy Hinton lately?

He's big.

He's not so big.

Maybe not to you,
but he's big to me.

He looks kind of big to me, too.

If you don't fight him,

everyone's going
to call you a coward.

Dad, does it make me a coward

if I don't fight a guy?

No, of course not.

You kidding?

Well, if he bothers her again,

I know how to handle him.

Oh, now, just a second, Greg.

This is Peter's problem,

and fighting isn't the
answer to anything.

If it were, why, the
biggest and strongest

would always be right.

That doesn't make
any sense, does it?

Did you try reasoning
with Buddy Hinton?

Explaining to him why
he shouldn't tease Cindy?

He wasn't exactly
in a talking mood.

You might have tried, anyway.

Reasoning, hmm?

Calm, cool reasoning.

That's a lot better
than violence. See?

And it's the only sensible way

to settle differences, okay?

Hmm?

Clean up before dinner.

Dad's right.

If Buddy starts
teasing Cindy again,

I'll just reason with him.

Well, if it isn't baby talk

and her big brother, chicken.

You leave us alone.

What about you, chicken?

Learned how to cackle yet?

Cut it out, Buddy.

Baby talk, baby talk.

I told you to stop teasing.

Make me!

Fighting's dumb, Buddy.

Oh, is that so?

Yeah.

Let's try reasoning together.

Buddy isn't much on reasoning.

You mean he took a poke at you

while you were
still talking to him?

I didn't get very far.

Well, I think that's terrible.

Just what kind of a
boy is Buddy Hinton?

Well... he's a good hitter.

Here. Put this on your eye.

What is it?

Well, it's Tiger's dinner,

but I think it's going to do you

a little more good
than it will him.

That's settles it.

Wait a minute. Mike!

Mike, where are you going?

To talk to Buddy
Hinton's father.

We can't have this
going on all the time.

Now, you're not going over
there and getting into a fight?

Of course not.

I'm just going to
reason with him.

Reasoning. Calm, cool reasoning.

Uh... Mr. Hinton?

That's right.

Hi. I'm Mike Brady.

I'm Peter's father.

Oh. How's your kid's eye?

Well, he's got a real shiner.

Too bad your kid
don't know how to fight.

Yeah, well, that's what I
was here to talk to you about.

I suppose you know
what's been going on.

Oh, sure. My kid
tells me everything.

Buddy tell you
that, um, he hit Peter

when he was just
trying to talk to him?

He's just sore 'cause he
don't know how to fight.

Did Buddy tell you the
whole thing got started

when he was teasing
my youngest daughter?

So what? Kids are kids.

They're always
picking on each other.

Well, you don't care if
Buddy picks on little girls?

I mean, little, little girls.

I don't tell my kid
who to pick on.

Maybe you ought to tell
him not to pick on anybody.

What are trying to
do? Preach to me?

No, no. I'm just trying

to discuss this in
an adult manner.

Well, don't tell me
what to do. Buzz off.

Off my property.

Or would you like
to be helped off?

You think you could do that?

I'm not a little girl, you know.

You I can handle.

Well, you I'd like to see try.

"I'm just going to
reason with him.

Reasoning. Calm,
cool reasoning."

Oh, shut up!

No wonder Buddy
Hinton acts like that.

His father is twice as bad.

What happened?

He couldn't care less

if his son beats up
people or teases little girls.

That's fine with him.

Oh, Mike, he couldn't
be that unconcerned.

From now on, Peter has my
permission to defend himself.

You want the boys to fight?

No, honey, I don't
want them to fight,

but if Buddy pushes
Peter around,

then he doesn't
have to stand there

like a... a... a sitting duck.

Stand there like a sitting duck?

Sit there like a sitting
duck. What's the difference?

From now on, Peter
can defend himself.

You're as bad as Mr. Hinton.

Where are you going?

To talk to Mrs. Hinton.

What good will that do?

You men are always fighting.

It's your male ego.

Women are different.

We'll just sit calmly
and work everything out.

You'll see.

You are so right, Mrs. Brady.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Oh, I knew you
would, Mrs. Hinton.

I'm sure we can settle
this little misunderstanding

very simply.

How would we do that?

You could just talk to your
husband about your son.

Oh, I couldn't do that.

Why not?

Well, that's man's business.

If I poke my nose in that,
Ralph would be terribly upset.

You won't talk to your husband?

Ralph has very strong opinions

about raising boys.

Yes, I'm aware of that.

If I try to talk to
him about Buddy,

he tells me, "Buzz off."

And, of course, I buzz off.

Well, um, Mrs. Hinton...

whatever Ralph
thinks is fine with me.

Surely you must have

feelings on the
matter, Mrs. Hinton?

Oh, I listen to Ralph.

And I think you'd be
well-advised to listen

to what Ralph has to
say, too, Mrs. Brady.

Frankly, I don't care what
Ralph has to say, Mrs. Hinton.

"Women are different.

We'll sit calmly and
work everything out."

Oh, shut up.

Hey.

You're right, Mike.

You're absolutely right.

From now on, if Peter has to,

then let him defend himself.

Didn't you have your

woman-to-woman
talk with Mrs. Hinton?

Oh, I tried, but she's
as bad as her husband.

I take it negotiations
fell through.

Negotiations? I was
the only one negotiating.

It was absolutely terrible...
Ralph this, Ralph that!

She couldn't say
Honey, listen...

one thing for herself.
Wait a minute.

I'll negotiate with you anytime.

I can't understand her
being that dependent on him.

Pow! Right in the kisser.

That's what I'd do
to Buddy Hinton.

Too bad Mom and Dad
are patching things up.

Yeah, Buddy
needs a good licking.

Might stop him from
being such a bully.

You sure you could lick him?

Are you kidding?

Last time, he gave
you a black eye.

That was just a lucky punch.

How many punches did he throw?

One.

Boy, how lucky can you get?

Twist and roll, twist and roll!

Boom-boom-boom!

Boom, Buddy Hinton!

If I could get
another crack at him,

I'd wipe him out.

Hi, fellas.

Hey, Pete's just showing us

how he's going to
take Buddy Hinton.

Pete could wipe him out!

That's what I'm
here to talk about.

Your mother and I
haven't been able

to get very far with
Buddy's parents

and, well, if Buddy
starts a fight again,

I think you have the
right to defend yourself.

Hurray! That's great!

Hey, that's great, Pete.

You're going to
get your big ch...

I want you to try
to reason with him.

If that doesn't work,

and he starts something, well...

that's different.

What's the matter, Pete?

Uh, listen...

you fellas excuse
me for a minute.

I want to talk to Peter alone

and make sure he understands.

Oh, Dad, come on.
Come on, Bobby.

Well, I just thought
maybe you might have, uh...

something you want
to talk to me about.

Go on. You can talk.

Guess not.

Huh? Nothing?

You know, Dad,
I guess I really...

I guess I really
am a... a coward.

Why?

You mean because you're

a little bit frightened?

Aw...

the bravest men in
the world get frightened.

Heroes get frightened, Peter.

Honest?

Why, sure, they do.

You know, standing up

for what you believe is right,

and knowing you
may have to defend it...

well, that can scare anybody.

Adults included.

There's something else, Dad.

I'm really not a
very good fighter.

I've never been in a real fight.

Well, that's nothing
to be ashamed of.

You get out of here.

There comes a time, Peter,

when you have to
learn to defend yourself.

Could you teach me?

Yes. Yes, I...

well, I could, if
you want me to.

Yes, please.

All right, okay, look.

From now on...

from now on, you're in training.

And, in a couple of weeks,

Buddy Hinton won't be able

to lay a glove on you.

You think so?

I'm positive.

What if Buddy
starts training, too?

That's it, Peter. Jab and move.

Jab and move!

It's not working.

Every time I jab, he moves.

And every time I move, he jabs.

Don't get discouraged.
It takes practice.

It might help if Peter
kept his eyes open.

Can I play, too?

It's not a game.

We skip rope in
gym class all the time.

Cinderella dressed in yellow

went upstairs to kiss a fellow.

How many kisses did she get?

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight...

Keep moving.

At all times, it's
important to keep moving.

It's difficult to hit
a moving target.

Remember that.

You watching? You watching?

Now, look. This is called
the old Buzz Saw Defense.

Don't tell me you
never saw that before.

Never.

The trick is... trick is...

you get their attention

on this fist, and
then... See? Like that.

Watch. Got it? Okay.

Keep moving.

Get their attention
on this hand...

That's it, Petey, you got it!

That's great, Pete.

Yeah, you got it now.

Keep your chin tucked in.

Jab, jab, cross!

Cross with the left!

Yeah. Yeah.

Keep moving.

Seven silver swans
swam silently seaward.

Seven silver swans
swam silently seaward.

Seven silver swans...

Are you going to
the kitchen again?

All this training
makes me hungry.

Oh, Peter.

Yeah?

You don't have to fight
Buddy Hinton for me.

I'm not afraid of his
teasing anymore.

How come?

I've been practicing.

Now I speak really swell.

Well, don't worry.

If he starts any trouble,
I can handle him.

Are you sure?

Sure, I'm sure.

I think.

Why are all these
kids following us for?

They don't walk home this way.

I guess they wanted to watch.

Watch what?

The fight.

How do they know
there might be a fight?

I guess maybe I mentioned it.

Aw, Cindy.

Well, if it isn't baby talk
and the chicken again.

Hey, chicken, let's
hear you cackle.

Let's not start
this again, Buddy.

I want to hear you
cackle, chicken. Come on.

That's dumb.

Cut out all the teasing.

Hey, baby talk.

Itty-bitty itsy-bitsy baby talk.

Cut it out.

What are you
going to do about it?

Let's reason. Talk about it.

Shut up or fight.

Don't you want to talk about it?

You heard me. Shut up or fight.

Okay, if that's the
way you want it.

I'm ready.

You asked for it.

Gee, Buddy, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt
you. Really, I didn't.

Gee, you knocked my tooth loose.

I did what?

It's looth!

See how it wiggles?

You sure talk funny.

Stop it!

It's not funny!

Baby talk, baby talk.

It's a wonder you can walk.

Don't do that.

It's not funny.

Go on. Get out of here.

Why shouldn't we tease him?

For the same reason

you didn't like him teasing you.

I guess you're right.

You now, Peter,
you're very brave.

I am?

Aw... Come on.

Let's go home.

I'll get it. I'll get it.

Hi.

Hi.

Mr. Brady?

Can I come in, pleath?

Uh... well, sure.

Hi.

I don't believe we
know you, do we?

Yes, ma'am.

I think maybe you do.

I'm Buddy Hinton.

Well, um... what can
we do for you, Buddy?

I wanted to see Cindy.

Well, may I ask why
you want to see her?

Well, I wanted to
know if I could borrow

her tongue twithter book.

I thought it might help me

with my looth tooth.

Of course you can see her.

And we're very glad
that you're all friends now.

Well, Buddy, have you
learned anything valuable

from this experience?

I sure have, Mr. Brady.

Peter's got a good left hook.

Yeah, he has.