The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 2, Episode 12 - Confessions, Confessions - full transcript

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪



♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Hi, you guys, I'm
packing my stuff.

What's all this stuff doing out?

You aren't going
camping till Saturday.

I know, but I want to make sure

I don't forget
anything... not this time.



What's so special
about this time?

Well, it's my first
overnight camp-out

with just the guys.

Hey, come on, you guys,

let's play free throws
in the wastebasket.

We better not. Mom will get mad.

No, she won't... nobody's home.

Set it up again.

Big Pete Brady intercepts
and goes for a shot.

Oh, no!

Mom's favorite vase.

She always says, "Don't
play ball in the house."

I'll be grounded.

There goes my camping trip.

Boy, I can just hear
Mom and Dad now.

I'm going to get it for sure.

Good-bye, camping trip.

Wait a minute... maybe not.

What do you mean?

You got to tell Mom and Dad

in order to face
up to this, right?

Yeah, so?

So, supposing you
don't tell them right away?

Suppose you wait till after
this weekend to tell them?

I'll still be punished

but I'll get to go
on my camping trip.

Right!

Well, they'll see
that it's broken.

Not if we glue it together.

Look, there are
only three pieces.

Neat-o!

That's a great idea.

You guys are
sure swell brothers.

Oh, but remember,
we've got to keep this thing

a secret till after the weekend.

I won't tell anybody.

I'm very good at
keeping secrets.

Ask anybody.

I guess it'll have
to be all right.

As long as she
doesn't say anything.

About what?

Look! Greg broke
Mommy's favorite vase!

I didn't break it.

I did.

But he's not telling till later.

Till after he comes back
from his camping trip.

Until then, it's a secret.

Come on, you guys, help me
put this thing back together again.

If one more Brady finds out,

it won't be a secret anymore.

Carol?

Dad's home with some flowers!

Oh, no!

What if he wants this vase?

Carol?

Where is everybody?

Hi. Oh, hi, Mr. Brady.

I didn't hear you out back.

Oh, beautiful flowers!

Yeah, where did everybody go?

Well, Mrs. Brady
is out picking up

a few things, including
a new potato peeler

for our special treat tonight:

Potatoes a la Alice.

Come on, I've got an idea.

You stay here, Cindy,
and guard those pieces.

Okay.

The boys are out playing.

Well, that accounts
for half the silence.

What about the rest of it?

Well, the girls are...

here come two of the
thundering herd now.

Every man for himself.

Hi! Hi, Dad!

Oh!

Oh, what beautiful flowers! Mmm!

That's quite a greeting.

These, however,
are for your mother.

We know just the vase for them.

We'll put them right in it.

Okay, be careful, thank you.

Uh-huh!

This is the best
glue we've got, kids.

Is it good for vases?

"Is it good for vases?"

Does it say on there
it's good for vases?

Yeah.

Then it's good for vases.

Will it be invisible, mister?

"Will it be invisible, mister?"

Does it say on
there it's invisible?

No.

Then it's not invisible.

We need something
that's invisible.

This is as close as you can get.

Believe me, you've
got to squint to see it.

Okay, we'll take it.

They'll take it.

Hello, boys.

Mom.

Oh, no.

Hi, Mom.

I thought you guys
went out to play ball.

Well, not exactly, we...

We came to buy something.

Yeah, candy.

Well, actually, it's a...

It's a corn popper.

That's right, for popping corn.

I figured I'd take it with
me on my camping trip.

Gentlemen, here's your change.

Thank you for your
patronage, and come again.

That, uh, looks awfully
small to be a corn popper.

It only pops a few
corns at a time.

How ingenuous.

Come on, fellows. What's up?

Nothing, Mom.

Yeah, nothing at all.

Nothing at all.

Well, if you say so.

Well, we got to get going.
We'll see you at the house.

Well, why don't you wait
a second and I'll take you?

I've only got one
more stop after here.

That's okay, we
need the exercise.

Yeah, we'd rather walk.

Or jog, jogging's
real good for you.

Wet rag.

Dry rag.

All clear.

Dad's still reading and
Mom hasn't got back yet.

What about Alice?

I think she's in the kitchen

trying to mush up potatoes

with an egg beater.

There, that should do it.

How long will it take to dry?

Uh, I don't know.

It says, "two to four hours."

We better put it
back and let it dry.

Okay.

Hi, Alice!

Mmm, hi, potato peeler?

Oh, yes.

Oh, thank heaven. I'm
running out of fingers to nick.

Oh, those are pretty flowers.

Are they for you or for me?

Well, since your
husband brought them,

I think I'd better
say they're for you.

What are you staring at?

Uh, the flowers are so pretty.

Oh, aren't they beautiful?

Yeah, they sure smell
great in that vase.

Well, I think they
could use a larger vase.

This one looks like
it's going to tip over.

That one on the chest
there should be just right.

Oh, Mom, don't you
think it would be nice

if we did something
else with the flowers?

Like what?

Why don't we replant them?

Yeah, they might smell
better in the garden.

Yeah. CINDY:
That's a great idea.

Now, you know you
can't replant cut flowers.

Boy, I wish you'd all
been this interested

in gardening when I
was doing the weeding.

Wait a minute, Mom,
I'll get the vase for you.

I'll help.

I'm great at arranging flowers.

You? Since when?

I hardly ever get a chance.

Say, would you hurry up
before dinner gets cold?

Yeah, and put an
aspirin in the water.

Water? In the vase?

Well, of course!

You've got to put
flowers in water.

It doesn't leak.

Great, put the flowers in.

Will you kids stop daydreaming?

Why aren't you eating?

It's just that
everything is so good

we want to make it last.

Well, there's plenty
here for seconds.

Come on, dig in!

Mike!

Alice!

Help!

Alice?

Oh, dear, what in the w...?

Anybody got three
coins for the fountain?

Alice, get a towel,
would you, please?

You know, I don't recollect
this vase having cracks in it

when your mother bought it.

Obviously, it's been broken
and glued back together again.

The question is, who broke
it and who glued it together?

Your mother and I expect
an answer... after dinner.

Mom?

Yes, Greg?

I got something to tell you.

I should have told
you right away.

I knew it was your favorite.

I broke the vase. I'm sorry.

I was skipping rope
in the living room.

I know I'm not supposed to

and that's how I broke the vase.

I'm sorry.

I know I'm not
supposed to play ball

in the house, Mom, but I did it.

I'm sorry, Dad, I'm the one.

I did it, Mother.

Mike?

Hmm?

Do you want to know

something peculiar
about that vase?

Yeah, you broke it?

Me?

Seems to be the trend.

Greg, Marcia, Jan,
Bobby and Cindy...

That's five suspects,
five confessions.

You know what I think, Mike?

Oh.

Excuse me, could I interrupt
you folks for just a second?

Sure, Alice.

I really should have said
something sooner, I guess.

I was kind of hoping
I could replace it,

but, you see, I broke the vase.

You?

Yeah, clumsy me.

I've got ten thumbs
on each hand.

Come on, Alice, you
didn't break that vase.

Yes, I did.

I was reaching
for that high shelf...

You know, the one that's
always too high for me...

And I kind of knocked it off.

Alice, the vase
was on the cabinet

next to the living room stairs.

Right, I was moving
the vase to that high shelf

so it wouldn't get broken.

That's when I br-broke it.

Well, it's awfully nice of
you to own up to it, Alice.

Well, I knew it was
something kind of special to you

and I didn't want
you to blame the kids.

Sorry, Alice, no dice.

Well, would you believe...?

Uh-uh. It's nice of you
to try to protect the kids.

Yeah, thanks anyway, Alice.

Okay.

But I'll go to my grave
believing I was guilty.

See?

Well, we still
have five suspects

and five confessions.

Correction, six suspects.

And number six
is looking forward

to an overnight camping
trip this Saturday.

By jove, Holmes, you've deduced

that young Peter Brady did it.

Elementary, my dear Watson...
The five who confessed

are covering up for
the sixth who didn't.

Right, and if Peter is guilty,

then the other kids are
accessories to the crime.

Well, what are we going
to do about it, Mike?

Well, why don't we play
along with their little game

and punish everybody
who confessed.

What, and allow Peter
to get away with it?

Honey, Peter's not
going to get away with it.

His conscience won't let him.

Does anybody know why
Dad called this meeting?

I do. He's going to tell
everybody I broke the vase.

I confessed.

Oh, no!

Well, somebody
had to take the blame.

I told Mom I did it.

Me, too.

Thud.

You, too?

I guess we all confessed.

I didn't.

You didn't?

I wanted to in the first place,

but you guys dreamed
up this whole thing.

Peter's right.

We're as much to
blame for this as he is.

Shh... here they come.

I think we're all
going to get it now.

Yes, well...

One of you broke
your mother's vase,

but five of you
claim you did it.

There seems to be a
slight communication gap

in this family.

Look, no matter who
broke it, the others of you

who confessed are just
as guilty for hiding the truth,

and I'm afraid you're all
going to have to be punished.

But when people
admit their guilt,

aren't they supposed
to get a lighter sentence?

Well, that's not up to me, Jan.

What do you mean, Dad?

In this case, your punishments
are not going to be decided

by your mother or by me.

They will be decided
by a jury of one...

Your brother, Peter.

Peter?

How come?

Well, see? Now, he's the
only one who didn't confess.

Doesn't that seem fairly obvious?
That he, alone's, innocent?

I-I don't think I'd
make a very good jury.

Yes, well, we'll be
the judges of that.

Now, Peter, you
tell us what you think

your brothers and sisters
should get for punishment,

and if it sounds reasonable,
then your word will be law.

I-I'm not really old
enough to make laws.

You can start with your sisters.

Wait, Mom.

Would it be all right if I
thought about it a while?

You want to sleep on it, son?

Yes, please.

Okay.

You can make your
recommendations in the morning.

In the meantime,
this court's recessed

till 0800 tomorrow... scat.

Good night.

Good night.

I can't do it.

I can't hand out punishments.

Why not?

Because it's not fair.

I'm the guy who busted the vase.

Look, you kept it
a secret this far,

so forget about it till you come
back from your camping trip.

Yeah, then you
can blab all you like.

I don't know.

Don't you want to go camping?

Do I?

Real bad.

But what's going to
happen to you guys?

It's up to you.

Why don't you ask Mom and Dad

to give us time off
for good behavior.

All you have to do

is make the punishments easy.

Like what?

I don't know.

Me, neither.

It's kind of hard
to punish myself.

Hey, that's it.

You guys can think up
your own punishments.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'll help Mom all
day long in the kitchen

next time she makes cookies.

Okay... who's next?

Marcia.

Send her in.

Okay.

I've got a great
punishment for myself.

Okay.

I'll take Bobby to
the amusement park.

Taking care of Bobby
at an amusement park?

Kids can be a lot
of trouble at his age.

Yeah, well, going to
an amusement park

and helping your
mother make cookies...

Don't you think
those punishments

are a little bit lenient?

Peter,

your brothers and sisters
have done something wrong.

We're trying to discourage
them from doing it again.

I don't think Greg's
going to get the message

if you sentence him

to a Saturday matinee
with Cindy. I mean...

No, I guess not.

Well, if I were
you, I'd ground him

from playing ball next Saturday.

Yeah.

Have him spend the day
taking the screens down.

I told you I'd
make a terrible jury.

Peter? I think you're going easy

because they're your
brothers and sisters.

Why don't you give
it some more thought

and this time, let the
punishment fit the crime.

Yeah, okay.

I've got a lot of
thinking to do.

Mike, I think his
conscience is getting to him.

Oh, yeah, if I know Peter

he'll be ready to
admit it by morning.

Come on, Peter,
you'll be late for school.

Greg... What is it?

This Saturday,
you've got to take off

all the window screens.

Huh?

They got to be washed
and stored in the cellar.

Bobby will help you.

What do you got to
wash screens for?

The water goes right through.

That's not the punishment
we gave ourselves.

I know, but Mom and
Dad didn't like your ideas

so I had to get new ones
for you and the girls, too.

But I'll miss a ball
game Saturday.

I know... I'm sorry.

Look, I didn't want to
give out punishments.

I wanted to confess.

But you guys kept on
saying, "No, go camping."

And now that you talked
me into it, you're mad at me.

I guess we did start it,
and we're not quitters.

We're not quitters.

Mike, honey, wait a minute.

You forgot this.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

You know, this
morning, I was sure

Peter would admit
breaking that vase.

Yeah, me, too. And
tomorrow's his camping trip.

Yeah, well, I've been
thinking of a new approach.

Why don't we reward him?

For breaking my vase?

No, for being the only one
who wasn't involved, see?

That ought to give his
conscience a little nudge.

Right again, my dear Watson.

It's elementary, my
dear Holmes, elementary.

What do you think
we ought to give him?

Well how about
camping equipment,

you know, like a lantern?

He's wanted one of
those for a long time.

A lantern? Mm-hmm.

Mike, that is inspired.

Inspired?

Yeah, wasn't it Diogenes
who went around with a lantern

looking for an honest man?

Thanks, but I
don't think I want it.

Why not?

It's... it's too big.

Well, how... how about this one?

This looks like a
pretty good size.

Gee, Dad, I don't
have to be rewarded.

Well, you were the only
one who didn't confess.

We want you to really
enjoy your camping trip.

It's an awful lot of money.

But you deserve it.

We want you to have it.

You do?

Let me think it over a minute.

Sure.

I think he's ready to tell.

This did it.

Okay, I've made up my mind.

Yeah.

I'll take it.

Mom's favorite vase.

She always says don't
play ball in the house.

Mom's favorite vase.

She always says don't
play ball in the house.

GREG Mom's favorite vase.

She always says don't
play ball in the house.

Hi, Doug.

Peter'll be right out.

Peter!

He's coming, honey.

Oh.

Hurry up, dear.

Come on, you've
got everything, son?

Yeah.

Now remember, stay warm and dry

and do everything
Mr. Kramer tells you.

Thanks, Mom.

Good-bye, dear.

Good-bye.

Good-bye, Peter.

Good-bye.

I can't go.

Mom, Dad, it's my fault.

I broke the vase.

I should have told you.

I really meant to,

but it was the camping
trip that I really wanted.

It's okay, it's okay, son.

Mr. Kramer's waiting.

I'd better tell him
I can't make it.

What reason shall I give him?

The truth, Peter.

Just tell him the truth.

Yeah, the truth.

Hi, Peter.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Why are you doing that?

I'm taking over all
the punishments

I gave the other kids.

Well, that's a very
nice gesture, Peter,

and I've got one
more job for you to do.

What's that?

When you're finished,

would you mind gluing
this back together again?

And this time, try
to do a better job.

Oh, no!

Well, Peter, it looks like we're
going to need a lot more glue.

First, we'd better
tell Dad the truth.