The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 2, Episode 1 - The Dropout - full transcript

Mike asks one of his clients, former major leaguer Don Drysdale, to stop by the house so that the boys can meet him. A few pointers and a few compliments Don throws toward Greg's way, a pony league pitcher, makes Greg believe that a major league career as a pitcher for the Dodgers is his imminent destiny. This becomes Greg's sole focus to the exclusion of all else, including his homework, as he doesn't see the need since he will be rich and famous regardless. He even talks about dropping out of school. Since nothing else seems to convince Greg otherwise, Mike and Carol are hoping that a few other words by Don as to the importance of an education and that a baseball career is not all wealth and glamor will do the trick. Ultimately, Greg may have have to find out first hand that his road to the major leagues is not as easy or preordained as he would think.

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪



♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Well, there it is.

The future Don
Drysdale residence.

You like it?

Gee, that's quite a shack.

Yeah.



Hey, I'll have to get
some Saint Bernards

in case I get lost in there.

It's all right. We
supply a road map

with every set of blueprints.

You know, baseball
has been real good to me.

Mike, thanks a million.

Hey, Don, listen,
there's another reason

I wanted you to
stop by the house

instead of the office.

I wanted my boys to meet you.

Don't tell me I've
got some fans left.

Are you kidding?

You better believe it...

Especially my oldest,
Greg, out there.

Ha! He thinks
you're a combination

of George Washington,
Neil Armstrong

and the guy who invented pizza.

Greg... somebody
I'd like you to meet.

Can we do it later?

Greg.

I'm busy.

Don Drysdale?!

Wow!

Don Drysdale, wow!

Don, these are my boys,
Greg, Bobby and Peter.

Hiya, men.

Boy, this is sure a big
day for me, Mr. Drysdale.

Call me Don, okay?

Thanks, Don.

Can I call you Don, too?

You bet.

Thanks, Don.

Tell you what, you
call me Don, too, okay?

Thanks, Mr. Drysdale.

Don, you and Greg have
something in common.

He's a pitcher, too.

I'm in the pony league.

Watch this slider.

Hey, that had good stuff on it.

Hey, you got a great
motion there, you know it?

Look it.

On your slider, though,
when you stride out

just kind of bend your back.

Make sure your back bends.

Get your arm and
try to go right out there

in front of you. There you go.

Now, when you grip it,

get it right here
like this, got it?

Here, you do it. There you go.

Oh! Gee, you showed
me your secret slider.

I'll murder them Saturday.

You might be in the
big leagues someday.

Me?

I don't know why not.

The Dodgers are always
looking for a good arm.

I'm going to keep
practicing, Don.

Thatta boy.

You know, you'll probably
be a bonus baby, too.

See you later, gang, take care.

So long!

Did you hear what Drysdale said?

Big leagues.

Hey, Greg, you want
to throw some more?

Dodgers.

Hey, Greg?

How about letting
me pitch, Greg?

Bonus baby.

Let's play.

He's gone.

Yeah, gone.

Now let's do pas de bras.

Side... down.

You girls have some tape?

I want to stick
this up on my wall.

Top drawer, left.

Who is it?

My pal, Don.

Don who?

Don Drysdale.

Who's Don Drysdale?

The man who
discovered me, that's who.

Don't girls know anything?

The big "D," Don Drysdale.

How about a game of catch?

We're busy.

Yeah. How about helping us?

Hey, and take a chance
on smashing my hand?

What are you trying to do?

Ruin my career?

What career?

Are you kidding?

Why, these fingers are
worth their weight in gold.

Since when?

You heard Drysdale.

He said one of these days
I'd be in the big leagues.

He didn't say you would
be, he said you might be.

He said would.

Might. Would.

I heard might.

Well, it's not what he said.

It's the way he said it.

Now pitching for the
Los Angeles Dodgers,

the National League
strikeout king, Lefty Brady!

How's that sound, huh?

Great.

Except for one thing:
You're right-handed.

I know, but it's a good name.

What's wrong with
Greg? That's a good name.

Well, sure, but you
got to have a name

that looks good
on the sports page

like... Bobo or Duke
or-or Dizzy or Catfish.

That's the one.

Catfish?

No, Dizzy.

That really fits you perfect.

Just for that, wise guy,

when I'm pitching
in the World Series,

you're going to
have to pay to get in.

Mike?

Hmm?

Wake up.

It's 5:00 in the morning.

I heard a strange sound.

Mm-hmm. What kind?

Well, it went ka-boom,
ka-boom, ka-boom.

Kind of like Bela Lugosi
wearing wet sneakers.

I told you not to watch
the... horror movie.

Oh, yeah... maybe
I did imagine it.

I'm sorry I woke you.

Good night.

You mean good morning.

There, you see?
You heard it, too.

It must be that hot water
heater acting up again.

No, it was definitely

a ka-boom, ka-boom, ka-boom.

When the heater acts up,

it goes bloop-bloop-bloop.

It must be trouble.

I'll go see.

Greg?

Do you know what time it is?

Oh, sure, that's why I'm
working out down here.

Did I wake you?

Oh, no, I've always
wanted to rise before dawn

to greet the coming
of a glorious new day.

Thanks a lot, Greg.

Listen, what is this
sudden urge for muscles?

If a guy's got to pitch,
he's got to be in shape.

I can't quarrel with that.

I got seven innings
to go Saturday.

That's the spirit.

If you're going to do something,

you've got to
give it all you got.

Right.

Yeah, well, there's
just one thing:

There are some other
people in this house

who don't have to
pitch on Saturday.

There are others who
can't afford to miss

one minute of their
beauty sleep, like me.

She's right.

Okay.

I'll do my jogging now.

Dad? Mm-hmm?

What's the biggest bonus

any ball player ever got?

The biggest bonus?

Well, I seem to remember

that the Angels paid
one guy about $200,000.

$200,000?

Man, oh, man!

Huh! What did I tell you?

I'm going to be loaded.

Oh, yeah? Well, listen, Bub.

Before you start
spending all that money,

you better realize that out of
a thousand young hopefuls,

only one makes it.

Oh, well, I'm not worried.

I'll be the one.

Do you mind? I'll just be
a second. Oh, thank you.

That's okay, I'm just
memorizing some important dates.

Oh, well, that's one
nice thing about history:

You never run out of dates.

Yeah...

You know what real important
thing happened in 1839?

1839? Well, uh...
I'll take a stab at it.

Was that the year Samuel Morse

invented the telegraph?

I don't know about that.

But 1839 was the year
Abner Doubleday laid out

the first baseball diamond.

Now, that really was
a memorable event.

I'll say.

You know what happened in 1903?

Babe Ruth threw
the first forward pass.

Oh, Mom, that was the
year of the first world series.

It's all right here in this
baseball encyclopedia.

You want me to explain
the infield fly rule?

I don't think so.

But I would like to
ask you a question.

Have you finished
your homework yet?

I'll get to it.

Greg...

How about right now?

In a minute, Mom, in a minute.

Greg.

Mom, please!

He eats and sleeps baseball.

It's become an obsession.

Well, maybe he has
gone overboard a little.

A little?

To him, American history

doesn't even begin until 1839.

1839?

The year Abner Holiday
invented baseball.

Abner Doubleday.

Oh, honey, I think
Greg's acting fairly normal

under the circumstances.

What circumstances?

Well, the fact he's
pitching for his team now.

A great player like Don Drysdale

pats him on the back.

That's the dream of
every American boy.

Well... far be it from
me to be un-American.

Hi, honey!

No, I appreciate your
calling, Mrs. Pearson.

I'm just as
concerned as you are.

No, it just isn't like Greg.

Believe me, his father and
I will have a talk with him.

And we really appreciate
your calling, Mrs. Pearson.

Right. Bye.

What's up?

I can tell you what isn't up...

Greg's grades this week.

That was one of his teachers.

I don't get that, he's
always done real well.

Not this time.

Do you know he didn't even
turn in his history assignment?

Yeah?

And when the teacher asked him

what the most important
victory was in American history,

do you know what he replied?

1969, the year the
Mets won the pennant.

Don't laugh, Mike.

Yeah... well, okay.

Greg?

Yes, Dad.

Can you come down
here for a minute?

Well, he's a pretty
levelheaded kid.

I think we can
straighten it all out.

I hope so.

What is it, Dad?

Sit down.

Look, son, your teacher,
Mrs. Pearson, called

and said you didn't turn in

your history assignment. True?

I didn't have time.

But you did have time to
memorize the batting averages

of every player in
the major league.

Well, that's important.

Your schoolwork isn't?

I'm going to be
a baseball player.

They don't have
to know anything...

Well, I mean,
except for baseball.

Look, just the same,

you start hitting
those books, right?

Greg, you're going
to need good grades

to get into college.

College?

Who cares about college?

I don't even know why I
have to finish high school.

I got a great career
ahead of me in baseball.

Mike, are you sure we
shouldn't have a talk with Greg?

Oh, honey, I'm sure he
didn't mean what he said.

I don't think we have

a high school
dropout on our hands.

I guess not.

Kids say a lot of things

they don't really mean.

Mom, Dad, can I
ask you something?

Sure, any time. What's up?

Well, if Greg doesn't
have to finish high school,

why do I have to finish
junior high school?

And if Pete doesn't
have to finish junior high,

why do I have to
finish grammar school?

Well, I think we better have

that talk with Greg.

Talk about what?

Baseball.

Oh, well, sure. What
do you want to know?

Look, Greg, baseball
is a great sport...

I know. All right,
wait a minute.

But there are other things
in life just as important.

Or even more important.

Yeah, look, you
can go into baseball

if you're good enough,

but there's nothing wrong
with going to college first.

What about guys
like Joe DiMaggio?

Or Mickey Mantle or Yogi Berra?

Now, they never went
and they did all right.

Greg, you can't
pin all your hopes

on just one thing in life.

Right. It doesn't
hurt to be able to do

several things well.

I know, that's why

I'm working on my
hitting and fielding...

In case my pitching arm goes.

Boy, I sure am glad

I have a mom and
dad who understand.

Oh, boy.

Me and my big mouth.

Well, nobody is
blaming you, Don.

Well, it's just that
I love the game

and I like to encourage
the kids, that's all.

Oh, you encouraged
him, all right.

Well, look, you
name it and I'll do it.

I think right now Greg
thinks that baseball

is just one big
bed of roses, see?

Yeah, maybe you
could make him realize

that there are a
few thorns in it.

Hmm, a few thorns.

I tell ya, I've been stuck
as much as anybody.

Well, that's what we'd
like to get across to Greg.

Great... let's go.

Hi, Mr. Drysdale.

I mean Don.

Hello, Greg. How are you, son?

Just great.

Guess what? I'm pitching today.

You know how he feels before
the game, don't you, Don?

The old nerves twitching?

Oh, listen, I'll tell you.

When those butterflies start
kicking you in the stomach...

I don't know. I can hardly
eat the day that I pitch.

Not me. For breakfast,
I had hotcakes

sausage and a couple of eggs.

Yeah, but I bet the
jitters really hit you

when the fans start
riding you, don't they?

Oh, and do they ride you.

You know, it's funny...
You're a hero one minute

and a bum the next.

You serve up a couple
of home run balls, and...

I don't know, you feel you
want to sneak out of the ballpark.

I'll bet that never
happened to you.

Oh, many times.

I'll tell you, I used
to keep a false beard

and dark glasses in my locker.

Oh, wow.

Go on down, let's see something.

I guess being a baseball player

probably is more glamorous

from the bleachers, huh, Don?

Well, I'll tell you,

baseball isn't what
it's all cracked up to be.

Look at me, 34 years old
and my career is finished.

Yeah, but you can
do something else.

I mean, you went to college.

Well, that's true, but
there's a lot of guys

that I broke in with, they're
still in the minor leagues

trying to make a living.

Yeah.

Well, I guess baseball

isn't all fun and glory.

Far from it.

Sitting up all night in
broken-down buses.

Sometimes you get
stuck in second-rate hotels.

Sleep all night with
your arm packed in ice.

Oh, yeah, that's
some fun and glory.

Yeah, well, that
really makes you think,

doesn't it, Greg?

Yeah, it sure does.

Greg, take it easy, okay?

See you later.

Thanks, Don.

Thanks for everything, Don.

But you know,
actually he told Greg

nothing but the truth.

Well, how did Greg take it?

Oh, he got the message.

Mmm. Good.

Boy, what Don said
sure made me think.

It did, Greg?

Yeah...

I'm not gonna let those
things happen to me.

Hey, good boy.

I'm gonna start
right at the top.

None of that minor
league stuff for me.

Well... what ab... what
about the things he said?

The-the jitters and the pressure

and the aches and pai...
the arm packed in ice.

Oh, heck, a cold arm
isn't bad for all that money.

That's all you got out
of the conversation?

Oh, no. He told
me a lot of stuff

about buses and cheap hotels.

But he meant the guys
who weren't good enough,

and I'm going to be a star.

Yep, they'll be lucky

if they get a foul
tip off me today.

Somebody is
riding for a big fall.

And I know who's
going to be there

to pick up the pieces.

Hey, where are you going?

To our ballet
lesson; it's Saturday.

Ballet? When you
can see me pitch?

Hey, what's that?

Oh, it's a quick energizer

I got out of a health magazine.

What's in it?

Turnip tops and beet bottoms

and wheat germ
and cod liver oil.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Mmm... delicious.

But I better not get too
much energy at once.

You can have the
rest of it if you want.

How's it look?

Aren't you going
to wait for Dad?

Naw, I'm riding my bike over.

I want to get there early

in case there are any
big league scouts around.

Well, as long as you're
not going to be at the game,

I guess you can have it now.

Greg... Brady.

What do I want your name for?

That's not just a name.

It's an autograph.

Hang onto it.

It's going to be worth a
lot of money someday.

Let's go, kids!

We're moving out!

Come on, come on.

Dad, Can I sleep
on the couch tonight?

What's wrong with your room?

Nothing, but after
the game today,

it'll be too small
for Bobby and me

and that big head of Greg's.

How was the ballet lesson?

Wonderful... you ought
to come sometime.

Yeah, in my tutu.

In my case, better make
that a two-two by four-four.

Oh...

Greg...

Hi, Mom. Hi, Alice.

What are you doing home so soon?

They call off the game?

Can't a guy come home
without a lot of questions?

Hi, honey.

Mike, what's the
matter with Greg?

Is the game over already?

No, no.

Well, didn't he pitch?

Oh, yeah, he pitched, all right.

They clobbered him.

He couldn't get anybody out.

Yeah, they scored 12
runs in the first inning.

Then the coach
gave Greg the hook.

Yeah, all right,
boys, that's enough.

Come on, take this upstairs.

Was it really as bad
as all that, Mr. Brady?

Oh, it was a massacre.

He was so cocky, he
wouldn't listen to the coach,

and he really got his lumps.

Aw, the poor kid.

Well, it had to happen.

Mike...

I think you better start
picking up the pieces.

Greg?

Greg.

Mind if I come in?

No.

Listen, um... about
the game today...

Who cares about
a stupid old game?

Well, anybody can
have an off day.

Come on, next time
you'll mow them down.

There won't be any next time.

I've got more
important things to do.

Do you really?

Who wants to travel
around in old buses

and have to worry
about being traded?

And butterflies in your stomach.

I'm never going to play
that dumb game again.

You're going to go way
overboard the other way.

Listen... Baseball
is a great game.

But it's just one part of life.

There are other
things important, too.

Come on.

Education is important.

Listening to people,
like the coach...

Yeah.

You got to...

strike a balance of some kind.

But I thought you'd be
happy if I gave up baseball.

No... no, no, listen.

Make it one part of
your life... for now.

Greg... not everybody
can be a Don Drysdale.

All right, maybe you can.

But maybe you can't.

Now, in the meantime,
you just go in there

and you... you do
the best you can.

I did the best I can.

And they clobbered me.

All right, yeah,
they did, they did.

But that doesn't mean

they're going to
do it the next time.

Right?

Maybe... maybe if I work
some more on my slider.

Thatta boy. See?

And developed a change-up.

Sure, you can do that.

And improve my curve...

There's no reason you can't

if you work at it.

Boy, I'll get so good

some scout will come around

and offer me a bonus!

Why didn't you stop me, Dad?

Because I think you just proved

you're smart enough
to stop yourself.

Come on, you want to play catch?

You mean it?

Why, sure... on one condition.

What?

Well, if any scouts come along,

they have to take us as a team.