The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 1, Episode 8 - A-Camping We Will Go - full transcript

♪ Here's the story
of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of
gold, like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪



♪ That's the way they all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch,
the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way they
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Sorry. Sorry.

You think we might be
violating a smog law?

This stuff's been packed
away for over a year.

Oh, Mike.

Well, I think this
is really going to be

a fun camping trip.

Oh, yeah... well, every
year I've taken the boys,

but this year's
something special.

Oh, yeah, we're really
going to be an expedition.

Three new sisters
and a mother...

It's going to be bigger
than Lewis and Clark.



I hope the boys don't mind

having a bunch of females along.

Ah, no, they'll get used to it.

The thing is, I hope
the girls enjoy camping.

I'm sure they will
once they get there.

Well, we'll show them
togetherness isn't just a word.

Right.

We hope.

Aw, Dad, why can't
you understand?

Girls on a camping
trip is just too far out.

They'll ruin our fun.

They might even get lost.

Hey, maybe we
should bring them along.

That'll do, Peter.

Now, look, fellas,
Marcia, Jan and Cindy

are all part of our family,

and one half of the family
doesn't go trooping off

without the other half.

Even when they're girls?

Yes, especially
when they're girls.

We've got to show them
how much fun camping can be.

Why, that's going to be a
whole brand-new world to them.

It'll be a whole brand-
new world to us, too.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised

if the Brady boys couldn't
teach the Brady girls

how to hunt and fish as
good as any of the guys.

In other words, we
can keep on saying no,

but you're going to
keep on saying yes, right?

The light's beginning to
break through a little bit.

We are all going
on this camping trip,

and we are all going to
have the time of our lives...

or else.

But, Mother, us
on a camping trip?

We've told you it's a
fate worse than death.

Do you expect me
to sleep in a tent?

With wild animals?

Girls, we're not
going to Africa.

We're just going camping.

And camping is for boys.

Camping is for boys and girls.

Why, it's so much fun

falling asleep on the ground.

On the ground, all those
beetles are crawling around. Yuck!

Yeah, yuck!

Why, you haven't
got the faintest idea

how delightful it is out
there under the stars,

being lulled to sleep
by the sound of crickets,

and then awakening
in the morning

to the smell of bacon
frying over an open fire.

How many times have
you been camping, Mom?

Well, never, but
I've heard about it.

And I've heard about it, too,

and you can count me out.

You are counted in, young lady.

We have three new
brothers and a new father,

and if they like camping,
we like camping.

Now, there'll be no
more discussion about it;

the decision has been made.

Hup, two, three, four.

Hup, two, three, four.

Hup... hup... hup,
two, three, four.

Hup, two, three, four.

Right face, hup, two,
three, forward march.

Hup, two, three, four.
Hup, two, three, four.

Hup, two, company halt!

Everybody fall out and pile in.

Come on, Cindy, you
first... In you go, girl.

That's a girl Okay,
come on, Jan.

There we go.

That a boy. Come on, Bobby.

Come on, kids,
here we go, ready?

Okay, all right, who's next?

Oh, I guess I am.

Give that a little
push, will you?

Cindy, what are
you doing out there?

I got pushed out the other end.

Come on, sweetheart.

Okay, move along.

Move over, honey. Move over.

Come on, Carol,
we got to get going.

Coming.

We should have been
on the road an hour ago.

Sorry.

Come on, honey.

Hey, you look great.

Thanks.

Yeah, you really do.

Any woman can wear
a hundred dollar dress,

but a girl who can put
on a pair of blue jeans

and one of my old shirts
and look the way you do,

that's A-number one.

Thank you, kind sir.

Hey, boys, take my advice.

Marry a girl like the one

who married your old man.

Yeah, you look great, Mom.

I mean, for someone who's
never been on a camping trip.

Come on, Dad, let's go.

Okay, okay, we all here?

All present and
accounted for, sir.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, Cindy, I asked
you before we left.

Before we left I...

Sorry, Mike, it'll
only take a second.

Come on.

Well, it's not a bad idea.

♪ I've been working
on the railroad ♪

♪ All the live long day ♪

♪ I've been working
on the railroad ♪

♪ Just to pass the time away ♪

♪ Can't you hear
the whistle blowing? ♪

♪ Rise up so early in the morn ♪

♪ Can't you hear the
captain shouting... ♪

There, that's much
neater, isn't it?

Oh, much.

Thanks, honey.

Certainly have
dusted off the dirt.

Boy, am I hungry.

Hungry? I'm starving to death.

I'm kind of hungry myself.

Well, there's a whole lake

full of fish out there
waiting to be caught.

Yeah, Dad, let's go fishing.

Okay. You boys go
get the fishing rods

and the rest of the gear,

and I'll have your
mother round up the girls.

Yeah, I think they're
out gathering pinecones.

I'll see if I can find them.

Hey, girls!

The girls?

Naturally, the girls.

Aw, come on, Dad.

This camping's one
thing, but fishing?

I think the girls will
enjoy fishing with us.

I guess the girls
are with Alice.

Oh. Alice!

Yes, sir?

Would you get the girls, Alice?

The boys and I want
to take them fishing.

And while we're gone,

would you and Mrs. Brady
collect some firewood?

Yes, sir.

All right, girls!

Fall out for fishing detail!

What are we going to do, Alice?

Well, you're going fishing,

and I'm going to go
change my shoes.

Okay, honey, get
a good fire started

because we're coming back
with enough fish to feed an army.

That's good, 'cause
we got an army.

Okay, everybody, fish
beware... Here come the Bradys.

Bye, kids. Have fun.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

Mrs. Brady, is it all
right if we nibble a little

on those emergency
rations you brought along?

Sure, Alice, go ahead.

No telling when they'll
be back with that fish.

Aren't you famished, too?

Yeah, but I think I'll wait.

I don't want to
spoil my appetite

for that delicious fresh fish.

Oh, well, if you
can wait, I can wait.

I'll just use a
little psychology.

I took psychology in school.

You did, Alice?

Yeah, if you don't think about
food, you won't get hungry,

so I just... won't...
think about food.

Good.

Come to think of it, I
flunked psychology.

Mom!

Oh, Alice, wait a minute.

Here come Greg and Jan.

Ooh, better get those
frying pans ready.

Okay, let's have them.

Go ahead, tell them
all about the big one

that got away because of me.

And I was not afraid of it.

I couldn't help it.

I had good grip
on it, but I let go

'cause it felt... fishy.

And of course, all her screaming

scared all the other fish away.

Well, don't worry
about it, Greg.

I'm sure the others will
catch enough fish for all of us.

I'm going to go wash my hands.

Well, how's a fish
supposed to feel

if it doesn't feel fishy?

I hope somebody likes sardines.

That's the best you can catch

when somebody...
Who shall be nameless...

Breaks your line.

I did not break it.

I walked into it by mistake.

It felt like a cobweb,

and I got all tangled up.

I didn't know you were
scared of cobwebs.

I wasn't scared.

It tickled me.

Well, I guess dear ol' dad

will have to be
the big provider.

Yuck.

Hiya, Bobby. Where's Daddy?

Right behind me.

Ah, good, did he catch anything?

Did he? Wow!

How big?

This big. See?

What on Earth...? Daddy
caught Cindy just in time.

Just in time to get her soaked

and scare all the fish away.

Aw. Well, sweetheart,

if you wanted to go swimming

why didn't you say so?

I didn't swim on purpose;

I swum on accident.

Well, if you excuse me

and this pint-sized mermaid,

I'll get her into
some dry clothes.

Come on.

Well, I don't suppose my girls

will win any trout contests.

Oh, honey, The
girls couldn't help it.

Problem now is, what
are we going to eat?

Wait one second.

I had a whopper this long

just begging to be caught!

Yeah, me, too.

We could be frying
it right this minute

if it weren't for the
so-called "opposite sex."

Boys, there's no use
crying over spilled... trout.

But the girls scared
them all away.

Well, they'll be back tomorrow.

We're starving now.

Yeah.

Well, you'll survive.

Surprise.

The girls and I
packed this in the car

in case of an emergency.

How's that for a
brilliant mother?

Hey, Carol, you're a lifesaver.

We're starving to death.

Well, we have cold cuts,
cheese and fried chicken.

Just name your poison.

Anything and everything.

Dad, no! Huh?

That's sissy food.

Oh, well, yeah, but...

We always live off the land.

I know but...

Okay, okay, if you
want to chicken out.

I'm not chickening
out; I'm being realistic.

Also thankful.

Listen, if your mother's
thoughtful enough

to bring this food out here,
the least you can do is eat it.

Cold cuts, cheese,
salami, fried chicken.

We might as well
camp in a supermarket.

Better to eat in a supermarket

than to starve at camp.

Mmm, that's delicious.

Mmm, delectable.

Simply melts in your mouth.

I can't stand that
kind of pressure.

Let me at it!

Me, too!

Well, honey, so far so good.

Yeah, the kids are really
enjoying themselves.

Mm-hmm, so am I.

You know what?

It's kind of romantic out here.

Yeah.

And we finally found a
moment alone together.

Mom, can we have some water?

Just a minute.

Hey, Dad, where
are the blankets?

Togetherness, huh?

Good night, honey.

Good night, dear.

Togetherness, huh?

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night.

Good night. Good night, darling.

Sleep tight now. Okay.

There.

Good night,
sweetheart. Good night.

Come on. Mommy cover you up.

There.

Sweet dreams.

This is the life.

What was that?!

I don't know.

Well, I'm not sure.

Mike? Mike!

What's the matter?

What's that noise?

What noise?

That noise.

That's not a noise.

That's an owl hooting.

He won't bother you.

Thanks, honey.

Good night.

Good night. Good night.

Good night, Dad.

If-if that's an owl, he's
got a frog in his throat.

What was the matter, Dad?

Huh? Oh, nothing.

The girls just wanted to
know what a noise was.

Turned out to be a owl.

Boy, are they scaredy-cats.

Oh, yeah?

Well, it seems to me I
remember last year about this time

that you were pretty
frightened of those owls.

Well, I was just
a little kid then.

All right, you guys,

if we're going to
go hiking tomorrow,

you better get some sleep.

Good night, Dad.
Good night, Dad.

Good night.

What's that noise?

I may be wrong, and
I certainly hope I am,

but it sounds
like a rattlesnake.

A rattlesnake?

For heaven's sake, what is it?!

It's got me!

It's got me! It's got me!

What's got you? What's got you?

I don't know, but
can't you hear it?

I think it's in the
sleeping bag with me.

Oh, Alice.

Nothing's got you.

With all that hardware
on your head,

you punctured your air mattress.

Oh, thank goodness.

For a minute there, I
thought I was a goner.

You'll have to
forgive us, honey.

It's our first night of camping,

and we're just a little nervous.

Girls, try to be calm.

There are no wild
animals in this area.

None of any kind?

Absolutely none.

So just try to be calm
and sleep tight, huh?

Thanks, honey. Good night, Dad.

Good night. Good night, Daddy.

Good night, Daddy. Good night.

What happened? What'd they want?

What was it? What...?

And how are we
supposed to get any sleep

with the girls along?

That's enough, Bobby.

The trouble with them is

they get scared at
every little sound.

Didn't you hear me...
I said that's enough.

Well, you said it to
Bobby, not to me.

Well, I'm saying it to you now.

And before you
open your big mouth,

I'm saying it to you, too.

Don't you remember?

It was the girls who
brought all that food.

Oh, that's right, fellas.

It was pretty good, too.

Well, I guess women
are okay for some things.

All right, boys.

Let's scare them now.

Dad, a bear!

Dad!

A bear! A bear!

A bear!

There really is a bear.

Boys... boys, wait!

Well, you finally
got what you wanted.

Oh, yeah, what's that?

Togetherness.

Come on out of there.

Hey, come on out of there.

Hey, you g... Hey.

Boy, I'm going to be glad
to get into a bed tonight.

I'm tired.

No wonder... three
solid days with the kids.

You must be worn to a frazzle.

Bet you're frazzled, too.

Exhausted.

You know, togetherness is great,

but exhausting.

Where are they all
now, by the way?

Down in the den.

All of them, together?

Mm-hmm.

Huh, maybe we proved something

on that camping trip after all.

I certainly hope so.

Come in.

Mom, Dad, could I
ask you a question?

Well, sure. What is it, son?

We just had a big
meeting downstairs...

Peter and Bobby
and all the girls.

We had lots of fun together
on this trip, and, well...

Yeah?

Is it okay if we all go every
place with you from now on?

Well, certainly, son.

Of course.

Thanks. I'll go tell them.