The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 1, Episode 7 - Kitty Karry-All Is Missing - full transcript

♪ Here's the story
of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of
gold, like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪



♪ That's the way they all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch,
the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way they
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

♪ Rock-a-bye,
baby, on the treetop ♪

♪ When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock ♪

♪ When the bough breaks,
the cradle will fall... ♪

See you later, honey.

Mike, take a look at this.

♪ And down will come
cradle, baby and all. ♪

Cindy really loves that doll.

Do you know, this is

the ninth bottle she's
feeding her today.

You better get some more
of those little diapers ready.

Have a good time, dear.



Yeah. Have fun around the house.

Yeah, I'll start by
straightening up the kids' room.

Okay.

♪ When the bough
breaks, the cradle will fall ♪

♪ And down will come cradle... ♪

♪ Baby and all... ♪

♪ Rock-a... ♪ Shh!

Why do I got to "shh"?

Because I'm putting my
baby to sleep, that's why.

That's no baby, that's
just a dopey old doll.

You stop that!

Kitty Karry-All
doesn't make noise

when you're taking a nap.

Stop that, Tiger.

You'll wake up Kitty.

♪ Rock-a-bye... ♪

I don't know who
asked that stupid old doll

to come live here anyway.

I did.

Well, I didn't.

I wish she'd move out
and never come back.

You stop that!

You'll hurt her feelings.

She hasn't got any feelings.

She's full of sawdust
or rags or something.

A guy can't even practice his kazoo
anymore. ♪ The cradle will rock ♪

♪ When... ♪

Now, you be a
good little girl, now,

while Mommy gets your bottle.

Here we are.

I want you to drink
this whole bottle

so you'll have
nice, strong... Kitty?

Kitty?

Kitty, where are you?!

Mommy!

Cindy, honey, what's wrong?

She was here and now she's gone!

Who was here and now she's gone?

Kitty! She's been kidnapped!

He did!

He's the one who did it!

He took my doll!

I did not!

Maybe there's a simple
explanation for this.

There is... he took it.

Maybe you put her
down someplace.

No, I didn't.

Kitty was right here on the
couch, then she was gone

and he was gone, too.

Well, I just walked in the
other room to toot my kazoo

because I like to
walk when I toot.

I'm going to tell Daddy on him.

Oh, sweetheart,
Daddy's gone to play golf.

Anyway, we don't want
to bother Daddy about this

on his day off.

Maybe we can figure
out what happened.

I told you what
happened... he took it!

I didn't!

Come on, Bobby, you can tell us.

What?

Where'd you hide Cindy's doll?

I didn't hide it,
like I told Mom.

Honest?

Honest.

Would you swear
to it, the sacred oath?

Even the sacred oath.

Boy, that proves he
didn't take it, no, sir.

Are you sure Bobby took her?

Sure, I am.

He said he hated Kitty.

I heard him say
it lots of times.

And she doesn't
even have her bottle.

She'll starve to death.

Come on.

Where are we going?

We're going to
get that doll back.

Yeah.

If Bobby didn't take it,
Cindy shouldn't say he did.

Right... come on.

She can't accuse him
and get away with it.

Bobby, you give
Kitty back, or...

Listen here, Cindy,
you... Come on!

Bobby, you give Kitty back!

You stop picking on him!

What did you do with her?!

He didn't do anything with her!

He did, too! I did not!

Did so! Did not so!

Oh, yeah?! Yeah!

Hey, hey, hey.

What's going on
in here? He took it!

He did not! He did!

Hold it!

Will somebody fill me in?

Well, Cindy's doll is missing

and the girls
think Bobby took it.

Well, Bobby?

I didn't take it.

He did, too!

He did not!

Cut!

All right, everybody
into his room, come on.

Hurry up, hop to it!

Let's go.

Bobby didn't take
the doll. He didn't do it!

Quiet.

Let's just settle down in there.

Come on, settle down.

Honey, I know Bobby.

If he says he
didn't take the doll

I believe him.

Well, Cindy always
tells the truth, too.

Oh, well, I believe she
thinks he took the doll,

but maybe she
dropped it somewhere.

You know how kids are
always misplacing things.

Well, that's true.
You know, one time

Marcia lost her left
shoe and a month later,

we found it in the freezer.

I'm going to talk
to the kids again.

It won't do any good,
Mike. I've talked to them,

and they don't know where it is.

Okay, then we'll
search the house

from top to bottom
until we find the doll.

All right, kids, let's
fall in for search detail.

Come on, hop to it.

Come on.

Come on, come
on. Hurry up, let's go.

Come on, girls.

Can I help you, Mr. Brady?

No, thanks, Alice.

What are you looking for?

A doll.

In the refrigerator?

Why not?

Just as apt to be
here as anywhere.

What are you looking for now?

Same doll.

If I'd known you
wanted a doll so bad,

I'd have baked one.

Still looking for that doll?

Yeah.

Mr. Brady, it's
none of my business

but the next time you play golf

maybe you better
wear a sunbonnet.

I've got to find that doll.

Mrs. Brady, what are you doing?

Alice, you'll never guess

what I'm looking for.

A doll?

How did you know?

There's a lot of
that going around.

I've found it, I've found it!

Kitty?

No, the earring
I lost last week.

My skate key!

I thought I'd
never see it again.

Well, we got to look some more.

No, we've done
all we can do here.

You sure have.

Let's see... if I was a
doll, where would I go?

To me, sweetheart!

That's all you
think about... girls.

Never mind that, keep looking.

There's nothing over here.

Well, it's got to be someplace.

Try somewhere else.

What did you find?

Oh, nothing.

Come on, what is it?

Nothing, just an old candy bar

I lost a long time ago.

How do you know it's yours?

I once lost one, too.

Was yours dark
chocolate with almonds?

Yeah... yeah, that's the one.

Well, too bad... This
one's vanilla fudge.

Nyah!

Come on, you guys,

there's no doll around here.

Did you get the license number

of the truck that
went through here?

Doggone it, we lost
the whole morning

looking for that stupid doll.

What if Dad makes us
keep looking forever?

Oh, no!

I'm glad she's gone.

I hated that doll.

Maybe Cindy was right.

Maybe you did take it after all.

I didn't.

Come on, Peter.

What does he care

if we never have any fun again?

Hey, what about me?

Yeah, what about you?

One thing's sure...
It isn't in the house.

I've searched every
nook and cranny.

Mike, look at this.

Can I play?

Beat it. Get out of here, Bobby.

Nobody wants you.

Go on.

That's not fair.

They're treating Bobby
as if he were a criminal.

We've got to do
something about that doll.

This has gone far enough.

I want you to pay

very careful attention
to what I'm going to say.

I'm talking to you two
because you're the oldest.

You see, in this country

we're very proud to have a
process known as the law.

And under the law,

a man is presumed innocent

until he's proven guilty.

Right, Dad.

In other words

we don't hang anybody
without a fair trial.

Everybody knows that.

Sure, but sometimes
we tend to forget.

Well, I'm glad you understand.

I'll see you kids later.

I have to go shopping
with your mother.

Bye.

You know something? Dad's right.

We don't know for
sure Bobby's guilty.

Nobody saw him take that doll.

Right, let's give
him a fair trial.

Good.

Then we'll hang him.

Aw, come on, kids!

Now, I haven't got
time to fool around.

But Alice, we've
got to have a judge.

Mom and Dad aren't home.

Okay, okay, but no loopholes,
no long habeas corpuses...

I've got a pot
roast in the oven.

Thanks, Alice.

We got it all set up.

You sit up there.

Oyez, oyez, oyez,
court is now in session.

Judge Alice presiding.

I'll be the D.A., 'cause
everybody knows he's guilty.

I object... there's
something illegal about that.

Come on, come on, let's
get this case on the road.

You two are the jury.

Order in the court.

Okay, D.A., call
your first witness.

My first witness
is Cindy herself.

Cindy... sit down here.

Now, tell the jury what
happened in your own words.

Well, Kitty's gone
and Bobby took her,

'cause nobody else was there

and those are my own words.

Does that mean
we vote "guilty" now?

Hey, I want a chance
to say something.

Barrister, you may proceed.

Okay, defendant,
what's your name?

You know my name.

I know, but I want
the jury to hear it.

They know my name, too.

Everybody here knows my name.

Let me at him.

Where were you on
the night of March 9?

Before or after 9:00?

What difference does it make?

I'm not allowed up past 9:00.

He's guilty, all right.

I'm not guilty.

I didn't take that doll,
no matter what she says.

I wouldn't do a thing like that.

Maybe we fight sometimes,

but Cindy's my
sister, and, well...

well, I just wouldn't
do a thing like that.

Well, jury, you've
heard both sides.

Now it's deliberating time.

And make it snappy... I can
smell that pot roast from here.

I know Jan will vote guilty.

Peter and Bobby
are just like that.

He won't vote against him.

Have you reached a verdict?

Yes, Your Honor.

I vote "not guilty."

You mean "guilty."

You've been saying
all along he's guilty.

I changed my mind
after his speech.

I knew I'd pull you through.

Just a minute.

My vote is "guilty."

That's immaterial.

A while ago, you
said he was innocent.

So what? I did a lot of
deliberating, and he's guilty.

Well, looks like
we've got a hung jury.

Alice, something's burning.

My pot roast!

Case dismissed.

Oh, boy... Whoa!

Look out, kids.

Whoa... oh, no.

It's going to be
hot... look out.

Now I know why judges
get paid so much...

They got to keep
buying new pot roasts.

Harder!

Come on, Bobby.

Burn it in.

Hey, Greg's playing with Bobby.

That little talk about fair play

seems to have done some good.

Yeah.

Hey, Dad.

Dad... MIKE: Yes?

Would you burn some in to me?

Bobby can't even dent my glove.

Maybe later, Greg.
Why don't you ask Peter?

He's a good pitcher.

Yeah, a good pitcher,
but a rotten jury.

Come on, Bobby.

What's that all about?

Don't ask me. I only live here.

Mom, would you ask Jan

to give me back my curlers?

Why don't you ask her yourself?

Me talk to Benedict Arnold?

I'd sooner be disbarred!

What's that about?

Don't ask me.

I only live here.

Mike?

Yeah, honey.

I'm sorry about dinner.

That's all right.

Well, I'm afraid it wasn't
exactly a gourmet's delight.

Oh, I don't know.

One doesn't get charco-broiled
charcoal every day.

Well, at least we know why:

You can't be a good chef
and a judge at the same time.

Yeah. What's the latest
communiqué from the front?

Well, let's see:

Marcia isn't talking to Jan

because she voted against her.

Greg isn't talking to Peter

because he voted against him.

On the other hand,
Bobby is talking to Jan

because she voted for him.

On the other hand, Cindy
still is angry at Bobby

because she's
sure he took Kitty.

On the other hand...

Wait a minute,
that's five hands.

Well, we've got a big family.

Poor Cindy. She went
to bed right after dinner.

Oh, I think we
should look in on her.

Yeah. Good idea.

Ready to say your
prayers, honey?

Please, God, bless
Mommy and Daddy

and Alice and Greg and Marcia

and Peter and Jan
and even Bobby.

And God bless Kitty Karry-All...

wherever she is.

Good night, Cindy.

Good night.

Good night, honey.

Say, where'd he come from?

From Africa.

Mommy brought him for me.

He looks groovy.

Neat-o.

Beat it, Tiger!

Dogs don't belong in a jungle.

Scram! Scoot!

Boy, he's the smartest
elephant I ever saw.

He's not half as smart as Kitty.

She used to talk
to me all the time.

She never talked to me.

That's because you
were mean to her.

You took her away.

You better not say that.

I had a fair trial, and
they said I was immaterial.

They did not!

It was a hanged-up jury.

Over again, Jumbo.

Wait a minute... I'll
play you some music.

Where's my kazoo?

Dad, Dad!

My kazoo, it's gone!

It was right here.

You took it!

You took my kazoo.

I did not.

You did so.

All right, all right.

What's up, Bobby?

She took my kazoo.

I did not.

Now, just a minute.

Maybe you put it in your pocket.

No, I didn't.

I'll show you.

Is that it?

Just about.

I've got another pocket to go.

Sure you don't have
your bicycle in there?

Anything else?

A couple of more things.

There.

That proves she took my kazoo.

No, it proves no such thing.

If Cindy says she didn't take
it, I believe her, the same way

I believed you when you
said you didn't take her doll.

But Daddy... Come
here, Cindy, sit down.

I want to tell you something.

Sometimes we can be deceived
by circumstantial evidence.

Circum-special?

No, circumstantial.

That's when... that's
when things look different

than they really are.

Like when a lady puts
on false eyelashes?

Well, something like that.

You see, now each one of
you knows that he's innocent,

but the way things look, they
think the other one is guilty.

And that's not right?

No, no, far from it.

Do you know, sometimes
innocent men go to jail

because of
circumstantial evidence?

Okay.

Then I believe Cindy's innocent.

And I believe Bobby's innocent.

Good.

Even if he's guilty.

Well, I wish I had
better news to report.

I searched the house again...

No doll, no kazoo.

Oh... Bobby here
seems to be bearing up

a little better than Cindy.

Well, I guess maybe
girls must love dolls

more than boys love kazoos.

You know, you're a
very smart boy, Bobby,

because that's true.

I remember once
when I was a little girl,

I lost my favorite doll
and I cried for over a week.

Boy, you must have got
everybody in the house wet.

I think I did.

I don't think we
ought to give up.

I think we ought to
keep on searching.

It's bound to turn up, hmm?

Okay.

Come on, Bobby.

There you are, young lady.

I'm sure you're going to have

a lot of fun with this.

Thank you, ma'am.

Come again.

Hello there, young man.

Can I help you?

Yeah, I want to buy
something for my sister

even if she says
I did and I didn't.

Did what?

Well, it's called
"circum-special" or something

and it's real bad

even though Cindy
doesn't understand

because she's so young.

Well, she's lucky

to have a brother like you.

You're not kidding!

She lost a doll named
Kitty and... Kitty!

That's Kitty Karry-All!

And that's the last one I have.

Keep running out.

Boy, will Cindy be happy!

I'll take it.

Okay.

You mean you're willing to spend

so much money on your sister?

My whole life savings.

Have I got enough?

Well, let's see.

Just enough and...
three cents over.

How's that?

Okay.

There we are.

Bye-bye, now.

Bye.

And I'm not giving this to you

because I like you
or anything like that.

It's just that...

well, my piggy bank
was getting too full

and I had to buy something.

Now, isn't it wonderful

to have a brother like that?

And it's not even your birthday.

Oh, I think Kitty's trying

to say something.

Come here, Kitty.

What's that?

Oh, you want your
mommy to hold you? Here.

Would you like me
to fix her a bottle

and then you can put her to bed?

♪ Rock-a-bye, baby, on the... ♪

I'm sorry, but
it's not my Kitty.

But honey, she's
exactly the same.

They're like twins.
It's only a matter

of getting used to
her. Well, you'll see.

In no time at all,
she'll be just...

Oh, Mike, what
are we going to do?

She's heartbroken.

Give her a little
time, like you said,

she'll get used to it.

Tiger! Tiger! Oh!

Come back here!

- Tiger!
- Tiger!

Maybe he's over in
the neighbor's yard.

No, no, the gate's locked.

Well, let's try the backyard.

Okay. Maybe he's back there.

Tiger!

Cindy, have you seen Tiger? No.

Maybe he's in the
doghouse. Let's try there.

Oh. Tiger!

Tiger? What's going on?

Oh, we can't find Tiger.

Tiger, you dummy dog!

My kazoo!

What have we here?

My Kitty!

All right, Tiger.

Come on out of there!

Come on.

Tiger...

come on back.

Now sit.

Tiger, you ought to
be ashamed of yourself.

Mike, aren't you
convicting Tiger

without a fair trial?

Yeah, you're right.

Tiger, you've been
accused of doll-napping

and kazoo-snatching.
How do you plead?

I'm glad today's behind us.

I still can't understand

how a child can get so
attached to an inanimate object.

I suppose everybody's like that.

Well, kids, maybe.

I'm sure glad you're not.

What do you mean by that?

Well, dear, I've been waiting

for the right time
to tell you this.

Tell me what?

You know your golf club?

Which one?

The one you made
the hole-in-one with?

What about it?

Well, I've looked
everywhere for it,

but it's just
disappeared... vanished.

Not my lucky seven iron!

Well, I might as
well give up golf.

That was my favorite
club. Ah, well, I'm sunk now.

Now you understand?

I certainly do.

Good night, dear.

Michael Brady!