The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 1, Episode 22 - The Possible Dream - full transcript

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪



♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way they all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch,
the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way they
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

MARCIA: "Every time
I see him on television

"I just feel... wow!

"Desi Arnaz Jr.

"He's so cute.

"And my dream of dreams

is to be Mrs. Desi Arnaz Jr."

Until tomorrow.

Well, I hope you
can get something



with these old books.

Any kind of salvage
is just fine, lady.

The Flora and the Fauna
of Northwestern Australia.

That was my husband's
brief botany period.

Hi, Mom, what are you
doing with those books?

Getting rid of them.

And your ball just
rolled into the garage

if that's what you're
going to ask me next.

That's what I was
going to ask next.

Well, thanks for your trouble.

Thank you for
the donation, lady.

Hey, mister, you
forgot this one.

There. We might as well get rid

of all the old books.

Thanks.

It's got to be here!

It's just got to!

My diary, with my
most secret thoughts...

It's gone.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

Are you looking for something?

Yeah, my di...

No, nothing at all.

Oh, nothing, huh?

Well, that shouldn't
be too hard to find.

Give me a hint, I've never
looked for nothing before.

Really, Dad, you
don't have to bother.

It's no bother. Bigger
than a bread box?

Animal, vegetable or mineral?

Or, do you wear
it or do you eat it?

Really, Dad, it's
not that important.

Well, whatever it is,

it couldn't have
walked off by itself.

Somebody must have taken it.

All right, where is it?

Where is what?

You know what.

How do I know which "what"

unless you tell me what "what"?

My diary... hand it over.

What would I be
doing with your diary?

Snooping, that's what.

Do I look like the
kind of a person

who would stoop so low as
to read someone else's diary?

Yes!

Well, anyway, I didn't.

Are you positive?

I'm not the least bit interested

in your personal
secrets, Marcia.

But what's in your diary
you don't want me to read?

Are you kidding?

Wild horses couldn't
drag it out of me.

Man, it takes real
muscles to do that.

Can I try?

Sure.

I guess I'm too young
to have real muscles yet.

All right, if you
give it right back

I won't press charges.

What are you talking about?

As if you didn't know.

Bobby, do you know
what she's talking about?

No. Greg, do you know
what she's talking about?

No. Marcia, do you know
what you're talking about?

I certainly do.

Somebody in this
room took my diary.

GREG: Your diary!

You mean you actually keep

one of those stupid things?

What is a diary?

It's a book that
people write things in

that they don't want
anybody else to read.

Why?

So they can sit down
and write stuff like...

"Dear diary, at
last I met him...

"my dream man.

"It was at the delicatessen

"and our fingers tingled

as we both reached for
the same potato salad."

I never had any ridiculous
stuff like that in my diary.

PETER: You didn't?

I should say not.

Then why are you so worried
somebody might read it?

None of your business!

Now, look, I'll close my
eyes and count to ten,

and when I open them

that diary better
be on this desk.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

Hi, Cindy.

Hi.

Are you combing your
doll's hair with my comb?

It's the one you
gave me, remember?

Oh, yeah.

You didn't happen to
see my diary, did you?

I don't know if
I did or I didn't.

What does that mean?

I don't know what a diary is.

It's a book you write your
innermost thoughts in.

Gee...

I never had an innermost
thought in my whole life.

It was about this big and it
had a brown leather cover,

and I had it hidden behind
the sleeping bags in the garage.

Oh, that book.

Sure, I saw it.

You did?

Oh, Cindy, I could kiss you!

What did you do with it?

I gave it to that man.

What man?

The one Mommy gave
all the other old books to.

Oh, no.

Cindy, tell me you didn't.

Okay, I didn't.

But I did.

My confidential, secret feelings

in the hands of a
complete stranger.

Cindy Brady, I'll
never talk to you again

as long as I live!

How about a cookie?

No, thanks.

I'm not in the mood.

Since when do you have
to be in a special mood

for chocolate chips?

Look, honey, don't think I
don't know how you feel.

Nobody can know.

For your information,

I have been keeping
a diary my whole life.

You really have?

I've recorded every romance
I've had for the last 20 years.

Of course, that's the
shortest chapter in the book,

but there are a
few juicy little items

tucked away here and there.

Then you might understand.

I just said I would.

I mean... well...

if I was to tell you
something in secret

would you promise
to keep it a secret?

They don't call me
Alice Clam-up for nothing.

Alice, you know Desi Arnaz Jr.?

Oh, you bet I do. I've seen
him on The Lucy Show.

Well, half my
diary's about him...

How cute he is, how hip.

Oh, you're pretty sharp, Marcia.

I know his mother's housekeeper

and she says that Desi
Jr. Is a real groovy kid.

I knew it!

You can tell by his
smile and soulful eyes;

the way he plays those drums.

Oh, he's with it, all right...
Way out... but not too far.

But I haven't told you
my most secret secret.

I wrote in my diary that...

well, I'm just wild
about Desi Arnaz Jr.!

My dream of dreams is that

someday I can be
Mrs. Desi Arnaz Jr.

But if anybody ever read
that diary, I'd just perish.

I know I will!

( whistling)

Mr. Brady, I don't suppose

it's really any
of my business...

Well, even if it
isn't, Alice, go on.

Mrs. Brady's gone to the market

and Marcia's in
her room in tears.

Alice, I've tried
talking to Marcia...

Only makes her cry louder.

I wasn't talking about talking.

I was talking about action.

Action?

The Friend In Need society

only picked up those books
and Marcia's diary yesterday.

And they probably haven't
even had time to unpack them yet.

Is that what you
were going to say?

Word for word.

Why didn't I think of that?

Well, you've probably
never kept a diary, Mr. Brady.

And you've never been a girl.

Have you any idea where

that Friend In Need
office is located?

At the corner of
Riverton and Eighth.

Good, I'm on my way.

MIKE: Your organization

made a stop at my home for
some cartons of books, see,

and when the man
picked up the books

one got in by mistake,
and I'd like to get it back.

That's no problem.

What kind of book was it?

It's a diary.

A diary, huh?

No wonder you're
anxious to get it back.

You should know better
than to leave evidence like that

laying around where the
little woman can find it.

Oh, no, you don't understand.

I do, but would
the little woman?

First thing you know,

you're going to be sharing

the doghouse with Rover.

It's not my diary.

It happens to belong
to a young lady who...

Oh-ho! So your
girlfriend keeps a diary,

does she?

You better not
let your wife find it.

The young lady happens
to be my daughter.

( chuckling)

Now, that's a new one.

I've heard them called cousins
and nieces... but daughters?

You ought to have that patented.

We seem to be operating
on different wavelengths here.

Look, it's very important
that I get this book back.

Now, may I have it?

Why not? It's your
property. Good.

You just tell me
where the books are

that came in yesterday.

I hope I don't have to look

through every box
in the warehouse.

You wouldn't find it there.

Oh yeah? Why not?

We send old books out
to secondhand bookstores

as soon as we get them in.

And those that came in yesterday

went to... Phillips Bookstore

on South Grand.

Thanks.

And some went to
Wentlock's on East Elm,

to Harvard's on Belvedere,
Ye Olde Booke Trove.

Leyton's on Riverside,

the Valley Book Emporium,

Fisher's Used Books on Vineland,

the Old Press on
Chase Boulevard,

and Elmo's Drive-in.

Elmo's Drive-in?

Connected with Elmo's Bookstore.

Oh. Listen, this
is quite a list.

Yeah. Good luck.

I hope you get the
diary back to your, uh...

( chuckles): daughter.

Oh, Alice!

Did anything spectacular
happen while I was marketing?

You bet.

Mr. Brady's gone down
to the Friend In Need office

to try and retrieve
Marcia's diary.

Well, knowing
Mr. Brady, he'll retrieve it.

That's an obvious solution.

Yeah, it certainly was.

Well, look, I'll go spread
the good news, okay?

Okay.

What are you guys doing?

Wrapping up a
new diary for Marcia.

A new diary?

Real new. We just
chipped in and bought it.

Well, what does Marcia
want with a new diary?

To write things in nobody
will read, like you said.

A diary's only important

if something's
already written in it.

It has to be new sometime.

Yeah. They don't
sell new old diaries.

If you start a new diary

you may as well start
a new life to go in it.

Isn't that right, Mom?

Oh, don't ask me, all I heard

was something about
starting a new life.

Peter and Bobby want to
give Marcia a new diary.

And he said diaries
were only good

if they were already written in.

Well, I think that's the way
Marcia would feel about it.

The old one's the one she wants

and Dad's gone
to try and find it.

Where?

The Friend In Need office.

I hope he finds it.

Yeah, having sisters

that don't talk to each
other sure is stupid.

Mommy, what does
"tresprass" mean?

"Tresprass"?

Oh, I think you mean
"trespass," dear.

Whatever it is, Marcia
told me not to do it

on her property.

How will I know
if I'm not doing it

if I don't know what it is?

Don't you worry about it, dear.

I'll try to straighten
everything out.

Marcia, don't you think

you're carrying this a bit far?

After what she did to me?

She's lucky I even let her
breathe the same air I do.

Well, she is your sister.

Please, Mom, don't remind me.

Guess where Dad is.

Where?

Getting your diary back.

Really and truly?

I'll bet he's on his
way home right now.

Oh, you can relax.

I'm sure he won't read it.

How did you know
what I was thinking?

One of the many secrets
of motherhood, my dear.

Hi, Cindy.

Hi.

Want a cookie?

No, thanks.

Marcia, you talked to me!

Why shouldn't I?

After all, you're
my baby sister.

But I thought you
said I ruined your life.

You did, but I forgive you.

Want to play a game of checkers?

Sure. I'll go get them.

MIKE: Hi, honey.

Dad! Did you get the
diary? Did you get it?

Oh, honey, did you find it?

No, it's at one of the used
bookstores downtown.

I don't know which one.

I've checked a...
number of them so far.

My diary in a used bookstore.

Now, honey.

MARCIA: My private,
most personal emotions

naked on a public display

for anyone to see.

Don't worry, Marcia,
we're going to track it down.

Here's the checkers, Marcia.

Don't you...?

Looks like she's not
talking to me again.

I wish she'd make up her mind.

Listen, I'm sorry
to disappoint her,

but, you know, all hope
isn't exactly lost yet.

I still have a handful
of these bookstores left,

but it would be easier

if I knew what that
diary looked like.

Oh, that's easily solved.

Marcia knows what it looks like

and so does Cindy.

So I take Marcia...
And I take Cindy,

and we'll split the
bookstores that are left,

and then back to
your drafting board.

There.

We split?

May I help you?

Oh, I certainly hope so.

We're looking for a diary.

You came to the right place.

How about Samuel Pepys' Diary?

Or The Diary of
Michael Wigglesworth?

Or The Diary of a Madman?

Now, there is
fascinating reading.

I don't doubt it.

But we're looking for a diary

written by Marcia Brady.

Marcia Brady?

I never heard of her.

Any relation to Nicholas
Brady, 1659-1726?

Excellent poet.

I'm sure he is.

But Marcia Brady is my daughter.

And my sister.

And her diary got
mixed up in some books

that we gave to the
Friend In Need society.

And I understand that some
of the books might be here.

Oh, yes, they're
still in the boxes.

I haven't had time
to sort them out.

Well, would you mind if
we took a look for the diary?

Oh, not at all.

I hope it makes
interesting reading.

Oh, we're not going to read it.

It's full of secrets.

Oh, all right!

You look to your
hearts' content.

Oh, thank you.

Sweetheart, you
start over there,

and I'll start here.

Oh, Mommy, here!

The diary?

Alice in Wonderland.

Oh, would you read it to me?

No, we are here to
look for Marcia's diary.

While you read, I'll look.

Now, Cindy, you must have
heard that story a million times.

Yes, but going down that
rabbit hole is so exciting.

Look.

Well, I think we're
out of luck, sweetheart.

There's not a
sign of it anywhere.

Don't throw in the towel, Mom.

Where did you hear
that expression?

From Greg.

He says that's what
fighters do when they give up.

Well, we've looked in every box.

Not this one over here.

Oh, I didn't notice that one.

Mom, let's throw in the towel.

We didn't have any luck at all.

Even at Elmo's Drive-in.

Heard anything from Mrs. Brady?

Not a word.

( doorbell chimes)

I'll get it.

I just hope the next kid

who keeps a diary around here

decides to write
it on a blackboard.

Daddy, how can you make
jokes at a time like this?

Oh, Marcia, the world
hasn't exactly come

to a catastrophic end, you know?

Well, it has for me.

Marcia, there's
somebody to see you.

Me? At the lowest
moment of my life?

I'm not sure he knew that.

"He"?

Who is it, Alice?

I didn't catch his name, but
he's waiting in the living room.

Well, okay.

Excuse me.

Maybe an unexpected visitor

will perk up her
spirits a little bit.

I'm sure this one
will, Mr. Brady.

Desi Arnaz Jr.?

Hi, Marcia.

You must have the
wrong house, Mr. Arnaz,

and the wrong Marcia.

The wrong everything.

Now, wait a minute,
don't get uptight.

I've got the right
house and the right girl.

You mean it, Mr. Arnaz?

I'm the Marcia Brady
you wanted to see?

Yeah. Only don't call
me Mr. Arnaz. I'm Desi.

I can really call you Desi?

Right.

Thanks.

Alice? Hmm?

What would a
famous kid like that

want to see Marcia for?

Who knows? Maybe a little bird

whispered in his ear.

I heard that you
lost your diary.

How?

Well, one of your sisters

gave it away to some charity.

No, I mean how did you hear it?

Oh, I know. Alice,
our housekeeper

told your mother's housekeeper

and that's why you're here.

No, I'll tell you why I'm here.

I'm here to meet
my number one fan.

Oh, I sure am.

You know, when I was younger,

I used to think that Captain
Kangaroo was something special.

But compared to
you... How about that?

I never thought I'd
top Captain Kangaroo.

Desi Arnaz, Jr.!

Wow!

Desi...

I'd like you to meet
my mother, Mrs...

um, Mrs... Mrs. Brady.

Yeah.

Hi.

Glad to know you.

And this is my sister Cynthia.

People call me Cindy.

Hi, Cindy.

Hi.

Marcia, here.

You found my diary!

It was in the last bookshop.

And we didn't even open it.

Thanks so much, Cynthia.

Why don't you run
upstairs and play with Jan?

And, Mother?

Oh... yes.

I must have a
million things to do.

It was nice meeting you, Desi.

Nice meeting you. Bye-bye.

Bye.

This is it.

My lost diary, see?

Don't worry about
what's in that diary.

That's one of the nicest things

about being in show business...

An occasional
mention in a diary.

You don't think it's silly?

No. I dig diaries.

And girls like you who
write their dreams down.

MARCIA: This is the nicest
surprise I could imagine.

And those are the nicest
words I've ever heard.

Remember you said I
topped Captain Kangaroo

as far as you were concerned?

Yes.

Well, as far as I'm concerned,

I think you're
the tops yourself.

Me?

Bye-bye.

I'll never wash
this cheek again...

as long as I live.

Hi, Marcia, how
was school today?

Can I help you
with your algebra?

How about an ice-cream soda?

How long can she keep it up?

It's been a week
since he kissed her.

Well, after all, he
is Desi Arnaz Jr.

Listen, how come
you don't react that way

when I kiss you?

But I do, I do.

Oh, I'll never wash again.