The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 1, Episode 11 - Vote for Brady - full transcript

♪ Here's the story
of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of
gold, like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls. ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone. ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪



♪ That's the way they all
became The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch,
The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way they
became The Brady Bunch. ♪

Mrs. Brady, I don't
know how you do it.

Do what?

Take a tiny seed, some
dirt and a little water

and get a beautiful flower.

Whenever I try it, all
I get's a muddy seed.

Oh, Alice.

MARCIA: Mother! Mother!

I'm out here in the backyard.

Goodness, I had
no idea it's after 3:00.

After 3:00... it's time for the
cookie brigade to get home.

Mother, they nominated me!



I couldn't believe
it, but they did.

They nominated you for what?

President of the student body.

Sweetheart, that's wonderful. Oh, that's
really great, Marcia. That's wonderful.

Wait till you hear who
I'm running against.

Oh, whoever it is,
it doesn't matter.

I'm sure that you'll win.

But, Mother...

No matter who it is, you'll win.

Mom! Alice! Guess what? What?

I was just nominated for
president of the student body.

You mean...?

That's what I was
trying to tell you.

We're running
against each other.

And they were both nominated
for student body president.

Both our kids for
the same office?

Yeah. We've been
keeping your dinner warm.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry I'm late.

Of course, two people
running for election

living in the same house.

Hmm, yeah, I see what you mean.

Hi, Alice.

Hi, Mr. Brady. Everything's
pretty well done.

Well, that's the way
I like it, well done.

Especially when I
don't have a choice.

Greg was nominated
and so was Marcia, huh?

Yep. For student body president.

( cabinet door slams)

CAROL: Honey, be careful.

We've got a cake in the oven.

Whoever wins the election,
we have to have a celebration.

I know what you're thinking.

We might have some problems.

Well, in the heat of an election

candidates sometimes
get carried away.

That's the truth.

I remember when I
was in grammar school

a little girl that was
running for office

actually pulled
another little girl's hair.

I bet nobody voted
for that little girl.

Right. That's how
I lost the election.

( both giggle)

Well, she yanked my hair first.

Oh, Alice.

Well, I'm sure we won't
have those kind of problems

with Greg and Marcia.

Mm, that's true.

I think we're worrying
about nothing.

Greg and Marcia
are sensible kids.

GREG: Get off that phone!

MARCIA: I will not!

I have just as much
right to use it as you do.

Don't you dare touch this phone!

What's going on in here?

She's hogged it long enough.
He'll just have to wait till I'm finished.

Marcia, get down off that
chair with your shoes on.

Dad, I asked her three
times if I could use the phone.

He never asked. I
even said please.

He never asked; he
just told me to get off!

Put it down, and
we'll talk about it.

( phone slams down)

Young lady, pick
up that receiver.

And put it down properly.

Now let's all sit down.

Uh-uh, over there.

Come on, move, move.

Now, Marcia, how long
were you on the phone?

Five minutes.

Five minutes, ha! Yes!

Okay, okay. Does
this have something

to do with the
elections, is that it?

Yeah. She was calling
kids on the phone

trying to get their votes.

What did you want to use it for?

The same thing.

I'm surprised at you.

So am I.

We're proud that
you're both running

for student body president,

but you're behaving
like kindergarten kids.

Girls are always
talking on the phone.

Who are they talking to?

Boys.

I guess we'll have to make rules

about the telephone
during this campaign.

Right, we'll make time limits.

Like how about a half
hour for each person?

Only a half hour? Half hour!

MIKE: Sounds good to me.

Look, you can
make one call or ten.

That's entirely up to you.

MIKE: Let's say 7:30
to 8:00 for Marcia.

And 8:00 to 8:30 for Greg.

Okay?

Okay.

I guess so.

Can I use it now?

When Marcia's half hour is over.

In the meantime, you
can start your homework.

I'll use the extension upstairs.

( both chuckle)

Marcia doesn't have
a chance against Greg.

You mean, he doesn't
have a chance against her!

Not a chance!

( feet stomping)

You're stamping
your foot just like a girl.

Yeah, just like a girl.

Well, dumb-dumbs,
that's what I am.

Greg'll beat her anyway.

You say that once
more, and I'll bop you.

No. Here, here, here.

That'll be enough of that.

PETER: Dad...
Now, just a second.

Look, kids, no matter who wins

we want you to
be happy about it.

Oh, come on now.

Let's have some smiles here.

( oven bell dings)

( loud thud)

Well, we should
have known all along

that the boys would
take Greg's side

and the girls would
take Marcia's side.

Everybody's
always taking sides...

Kids, grown-ups, countries.

You know something, Mike? What?

I think it's very important
that we show Marcia and Greg

that we're not taking sides.

Honey, you're absolutely right.

And the sooner we
let them know that

the better.

Sweetheart...

Ow.

Working on your campaign?

Uh-huh.

Well, after you win

will I have to call
you Miss President?

Mom, will you help
me win the election?

Sure.

Then you'll be
helping me beat Greg.

Not at all.

I'll be helping you
win an election.

If Greg needs my
help, I'll help him, too.

My opponent?

Strictly impartial.

Marcia, do you blame me?

Yes, but I guess you're right.

Good... now, how can I help?

Well, we can spend up to
ten dollars on the campaign

and I was trying to
decide the best way

to use the money.

Hmm, ten dollars, ten dollars.

Why don't we make posters?

You know, big colorful
signs with slogans.

Groovy.

Will you help me
with the slogan?

Oh, sure.

Then you plug it in here, see?

How do you record?

These two buttons.

Stop it here.

Gee, thanks, Dad.

Well, anything to help you, son.

You know, with ten
bucks worth of tapes

I could blast my
campaign promises

from every
loudspeaker in school.

Thanks again.

That's okay, Greg.

Testing, one, two, three.

Testing, one, two, three.

Testing, one, two, three.

Testing, one... two, three.

Everything all
right with Marcia?

Uh-huh. How about Greg?

Oh, he's fine.

I'll see if there's any
way I can help Marcia.

She'll be happy about that.

I'll let Greg know
he can count on me.

Well, how'd you
do with Mr. Benson?

He said we could hold
the rally in the morning

as long as we
stopped at the first bell.

Great.

What's that for?

Oh, I got an idea last night.

My father let me
use his recorder.

Just listen to this.

I figure we can play it

on the loudspeaker
in between classes.

That way, it'll say
"vote for Greg"

with all my campaign promises.

( silence)

Well, you didn't
promise them too much.

That's funny.

Maybe there's a
different tape in it.

Let's see.

This is the right one.

Maybe someone erased it.

Marcia.

It took me two hours

to get this tape right.

Just wait till I get home.

Boy, am I going
to let her have it.

What are you doing?

I lost something
and I'm looking for it.

Oh, we'll help you look.

Yeah.

What are we looking for?

I don't know.

What are we looking for?

A sheet of notebook paper
with my campaign plans.

Maybe I left it in the bedroom.

We'll look up there.

Come on, Cindy.

Marcia, that was a dirty trick.

Huh?

You shouldn't have done it.

Done what?

You know.

No, I don't.

About the tape!

What tape?

You erased the tape I made

on Dad's recorder.

I didn't even touch
Dad's tape recorder.

But what do you know

about my slogans for
my campaign posters?

I'm sure I left them
here in the family room.

What slogans?

I didn't even know
you were using posters.

All right, all right.
What's going on, huh?

Marcia erased the tapes I
made on your recorder last night.

No, I didn't.

Greg took the plans for
my campaign slogans.

I left them in here, and
they were gone this morning.

Campaign slogans? Were
they on notebook paper?

Two sheets of notebook paper.

Oh, Marcia, I'm sorry.

Greg didn't take them; I did.

You did?

Yes, ma'am.

They looked like
a bunch of doodles

and I thought they were
scrap paper and I threw it away.

You threw it away?

I'm sorry.

What good does that do me?

MIKE: Honey... Alice
said she was sorry.

I bet she meant to do it.

She's been living
with Greg longer

and she wants him to win.

Marcia!

I am sorry. I had no idea it
was something important.

Oh, that's all right, Alice.

What about the tape she erased?

Oh, Greg, you don't know that.

And you were
going to be impartial.

Oh, boy!

( sobbing)

Sweetheart...

Sweetheart, I know
that crying helps some,

but I think it would help more

if you went downstairs
and apologized to Alice.

Apologize? Why?

Well, deep down you know

that Alice didn't deliberately
throw away your papers

and you just said
that out of anger.

Isn't that true?

( crying)

Well... isn't it?

I guess so.

It's just like Greg accusing you

of destroying his tape.

You didn't do that.

You're right,
Mother, of course not.

Boy, Marcia's sure
going to be surprised

when she sees these
posters we're making for her.

It was a good idea, Alice.

I sure hope it
helps her campaign.

Can I make another one?

You finished already?

That doesn't say anything.

Alice said to copy the letters.

She didn't say how.

You know, I like it.

It's kind of catchy.

It'll really make people
remember her name.

MARCIA: Hi.

Oh, hi!

Look at these neat posters.

Look at mine, look at mine!

That's our scrabble poster.

Alice, are you helping
me make the posters, too?

You bet your bottom ballot.

Alice?

What is it, sweetie?

Alice, I...

I said a couple of
things a while ago.

I know exactly what
you're going to say, honey.

You don't even have
to bother to say it.

Thanks.

Come on, come on, we
haven't got time for all this mush.

We've got posters to get done.

Bobby said you wanted to see me.

Yeah. Greg, I think

we better straighten
out a few things.

I'm sorry I got
angry, Dad, but...

I was sore about
Marcia erasing my tape.

How do you know
Marcia erased your tape?

Well, who else would have?

You.

Me?!

Or any of the kids.

Greg, I've punched the wrong
key on that thing myself sometimes.

Come on, be honest.

You don't know Marcia
erased your tapes. Well...

It isn't any different

than Marcia thinking
you threw her paper away.

Okay, you win.

I'm not trying to win anything.

It could've happened
that way... I guess.

Is it settled then?

Settled.

You know, Dad,
lots of kids think

their parents are
wrong about everything,

but I think you're
right... quite often.

Thank you, Greg.

Okay, you ready?

All right, now do it
just the way I told you.

V-o-t-e! V-o-t-e!

Vote... for... Greg! Greg!

ALL: Yay, Greg!

Boy, that was neat-o!

I bet Greg will
be real surprised.

Yeah. Where did you learn that?

I used to be a
cheerleader in high school.

Oh, will you do one
of your cheers for us?

Please? Please?

Yeah. Here, here.

E-v-a-n-d-e-r.

E-v-a-n-d-e-r.

Evander! Evander!
Yay... ( crack)

team.

What's the matter?

I remembered the
cheer but my back didn't.

Do you like this
campaign pledge?

"I will try my best
to get more boys

to the Friday night
school dance."

Well, I think it's
a great pledge,

but you're fighting
a losing a battle.

Why?

Well, we girls have been
trying to get boys to come

to the school dance
since 3000 B.C.

Really, Mom?

Well, I've only been
at it since 2000 B.C.

( chuckles)

Hi, how's it going?

Oh, fine, we're just going over

Marcia's campaign speech.

You got it in pretty
good shape now, Marcia?

Well, I hope so.

I've promised everybody
everything I could think of.

Sounds like you're
running for Congress.

I mean every one
of my promises, too.

Forget what I said
about Congress.

Say, listen, maybe you and Greg

would like to try
out your speeches

in front of an audience.

What audience?

Our family. Yeah.

When we all get together

we're a whole audience
all by ourselves.

That is, unless you've
got some secrets

you don't want Greg to hear.

There aren't any secrets, Mom.

Our platforms were printed
in the school paper last week.

If it's all right with Greg

we'll have a full-scale
rehearsal tonight.

Great.

And as my last pledge

I promise to set one
afternoon aside each week

to listen to anyone who has
a complaint or suggestion.

I promise to follow through

until you are satisfied
with the result.

Listening's okay, but
results are what count

and that's what you'll get
from me, if you vote... results.

( whistling)

And as your president...
I would always...

I would always
represent all of you...

whether you vote
for me... or not.

Thank you.

( sobbing)

Shh!

Gang, it's time
we had a little talk.

I hope you three are
proud of yourselves.

And your behavior while Greg
was speaking was just as bad.

Oh, Marcia, your
speech was just fine.

You mustn't let
the boys upset you.

I know, but...

And look, if you're going to run

for any kind of office

you have to expect
the opposition to be...

well, rude.

On the other hand,

you shouldn't have to expect it

in your own home.

Yes, that's exactly right.

Now, I don't want to make

a big thing about this,

but your mother and I don't
like what just happened.

Well, you've made it

a contest between
boys and girls.

That isn't right.

We're going to be a
family for a lot longer

than either Marcia or
Greg would be in office.

Okay, you can go now.

Mom, did you say
there was more paint

in the garage for the posters?

Uh-huh, top shelf on the left,

right next to my old golf clubs.

How come you don't
ever play golf anymore?

With six children, a
husband, a house and a dog,

you ask me "how come?"

Sorry.

Marcia?

Yeah, Mom?

Um, I'd like to talk to
you about something.

Okay.

Well, I've been
wanting to talk to you

about this for a long time

but, well, one minute
i tell myself to forget it

and then I... I,
um... What is it?

Marcia, you are one
year younger than Greg

and you do have two
additional semesters

to run for student
body president,

and I just thought
that maybe... well...

Forget it, sweetheart.

May the best Brady win.

Go ahead, get the
paint for the posters.

Okay, precinct workers,

how many votes can we count on

from Rick's class?

Uh, Rick... Here it is.

14 out of 27.

14... 13.

Ooh, that's awful close.

Yeah, even for a football game.

I'm not worried
about a football game.

I'm worried about this election.

Greg?

Yeah?

I know a sure way for
you to win tomorrow.

GREG: A sure way? How?

We could start a
rumor about her.

A rumor about Marcia?

RUSTY: Uh-huh, you
know, something nasty,

like she was seen in the balcony

at the movies last
Saturday afternoon

with that creep, Felix Brown.

Wait a minute, you.

You're talking about my sister.

You start a rumor like that

and I'll personally
knock your head in.

RUSTY: Don't get
tough with me, Greg.

I got a lot of votes
lined up for you.

I'm your campaign manager.

You were my campaign manager.

Now, get lost, Rusty!

You mean that?

GREG: You bet I mean it.

I don't like that kind of stuff.

You've really done it, Greg.

You've blown the election.

GREG: and I was
editor of the yearbook

and member of school council

for three semesters.

And I've had a lot
more experience

than my worthy opponent.

And that's why I think

you should elect me
president of the student body.

Thank you.

MAN: And now we'll hear
from the other candidate,

who, by coincidence, has

the same last name
as the first candidate.

Marcia Brady.

( applause)

Thank you, Mr. Dickens.

Fellow students, I
had a prepared speech,

but I'm not going to use it,

and for a very good reason.

I have reconsidered
my candidacy.

( murmuring)

My opponent has more experience
than I do in school government.

Besides, I think
he's real groovy.

If those of you who
helped in my campaign

really want to elect the
best president for the job

it's Greg Brady, brother or not.

Thank you.

( applause)

( all talking at once)

Oh, Alice, you shouldn't
have put my name on it.

I told her to.

You'd have won the election.

Uh-uh, you'd have
run away with it.

No, no, no, you're wrong.

You were a cinch!

I didn't have a chance!

Just a minute.
The election's over.

As far as I'm concerned,
there are two winners.

And we are all equally
proud of both of them.

ALICE: Hear, hear!

Now, if you two winners

would please blow
out the candles

before they melt the cake.

CAROL: Oh! All right!

I want a rose.

( all talking)

CINDY: Mommy, Mommy!

I'm in here, sweetheart,
in your room.

Mommy!

Mommy, guess what?

They made me crossing
guard for a whole week!

Oh, sweetheart,
that's wonderful.

And that's a very important job.

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

And guess who I beat out?

Guess who!

( crying in distance)

( crying)

I don't have to guess.

Oh, sweetheart.