The Boss Baby: Back in Business (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Six Well-Placed Kittens - full transcript

[grunts]

Hold all my calls.

[giggling]

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss
Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪

♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ Stroller rolling
Up and down the boulevard ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪

♪ Change my diaper, son, where's my bib? ♪



♪ Don't pacify, you just got to pay me ♪

-♪ Who's in charge? ♪
-♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪

[cats meowing to music]

[monitor beeps]

[reporter] Mr. Mayor,
I have one follow-up question.

[purring]

[meowing continues]

[growling]

[yowling]

Gwendolyn!

Hunnerdbuttons,
light a match on this foofaraw.

[yowling]

All right there, Hunnerdbuttons?

Mr. Mayor,
I thought you were allergic to cats.



[chuckles] You bet I am,

but Hunnerdbuttons is a special,
non-shedding kitten.

Got him free
from a local businessman, Bootsy--

-[reporters exclaiming]
-[sneezing]

My allergies! Hunnerdbuttons!

Why?

[reporters screaming]

[Bootsy cackling]

How do you like that, Boss Baby?

[Staci] Um...

You know he's not here, right?

What? Of course he is!

-One of these...
-Unh-unh.

-...has to be...
-Hey!

I think that guy delivers
the birthday balloons.

Well, how am I supposed to tell a bunch
of babies in suits apart?

-I'm a girl!
-Ah! Fine, then!

Where is Boss Baby?

[camera whirring]

[sighs]

-[baby monitor chiming]
-[gasps]

-Talk to me!
-Aw, am I interrupting nappy-nap time?

Calico! Wait, you're at Baby Corp?!

Oh, my fancy goodness! I am!

-How did you--
-Can I tell you a story?

Of course I can.
Babies love silly stories.

Now, I told you
I was out raised by kittens.

Well, one day, my Mama Kitten
was climbing her favorite tree--

prance, prance, prance.

-Oh, no! She slipped!
-[meowing]

Now, she's dangling from a tree branch
ten feet off the ground.

[gasps]

Now, now. Mama was more embarrassed
than anything.

It was fine...

until somebody, Boss Baby,

decided to capture

the most humiliating moment
of my Mama Kitten's life

and turn it into an amusing office poster!

Oh, yes. That was entirely
Boss Baby's idea. I remember.

Payback time, Boss Baby!

Courtesy of my... Come on, say it.

Six well-placed kittens!

And I want you to see it happen.

No. Even better,
I want you out there, helpless to stop it.

Meow!

-Wait!
-[Staci] He can't get out there.

Looks like he got grounded,
maximum security.

Then I guess you babies
better form a posse and bust him out!

Big Boss man, right?

You're assigned to head the rescue team.

No, I'm the Chief Executive.
I don't do things.

I criticize the way others do things.

Well, allow me to tell you
what I'm gonna do to you if'n you don't!

[Bootsy whispering]

[gasps, grunts] My mind is changed.
And now my diaper needs to be.

Come on. Somebody answer!

[teleporting zaps]

[squeaking]

[triplets grunting]

[knuckles crack]

[triplets grunt]

I want you to know,
I do this under protest.

But magnificently.

[Dad] Honey, both nanny cams went dark.

[Mom] Oh, my gosh.
Is the baby missing again?

-[footsteps approaching]
-[babies gasping, panting]

[snoring]

Okay, okay. He's still sleeping.

[snoring continues]

Guess who's getting jail broke?

-Go away.
-You're mad I got you in trouble.

Good. We can use that anger.

I said go away.

Bootsy Calico's master plan is
in full swing,

and surprise twist, it's personal.

Don't care.

Funny story, actually.
You know that "Hang in there" poster?

Turns out the kitten hanging for its life
was Bootsy's mom.

What kind of spaced out hippie
was running that adoption agency?

-I'm off topic.
-Wait.

There we go. Field team's outside.
We ride like thunder. Hyah!

So not only did you turn
Mega Fat CEO Baby into a villain,

but Bootsy Calico is your fault, too?

Can't live in the past, Templeton.

Six Well-Placed Kittens,
it's happening right now.

So what? You think I'm mad
because you got me in trouble?

I'm mad because it's always the same thing
with you. Bootsy, Mega Fat, me.

Whoever gets hurt, "It's just business."
So go ahead.

You and Bootsy can fight over who gets
more love. You deserve each other.

-It's just us.
-[Mega Fat] Coolly-cool.

Uh, I done did my deed,
so, Magnus, let's bounce.

-Sir.
-Oh, your mouth is respectful,

but the hand is far too sassy.
Off, off, sassy hand.

Baby Corp is in the hands of a madman.

He's got six kittens out there,
setting loose who knows what.

And if we're going to stop this,
we need everyone.

Whatever your job title,
whatever your department,

whatever beef you have with me,

today, we are all the field team.

[blows raspberry]

Everyone join in. It's much more fun
than clapping. And also, I don't care.

Oh, and also, also... [blows raspberry]

I will join your field team.

What?!

[groans]

Fine. But only because Magnus is doing it.

Always got your back, boss.

[all] Yeah!

I don't know what I'm agreeing to.

Six well-placed kittens...
who are they, and where are they?

-[baby monitor chimes]
-Well, all you had to do was ask, silly.

Boop.

-Sir, he's giving us the locations.
-And daring us to stop them in time.

Bootsy already sicced one on the mayor.

And Gwendolyn sold out Jimbo
to sneak Bootsy into Baby Corp.

[shouting] Gwendolyn!

Only four to go. Triplets,

we've got a copycat at the water
and power plants. Take him out.

[triplets grunting]

Hendershot, Magnus and Mega Fat,

looks like Mangy Kitten
is headed that way, too. Go!

[groaning]

Running? I take back my consent.

-Staci, Jimbo, Cat Cop at the park.
-On it, boss.

That leaves Templeton and me to--
Oh, yeah. [sighs] Solo it is.

"Mayor incapacitated by allergic fit"?

Grab your camera. I'm almost TV-ready.

[meows]

I've got eyes on Mr. Pineapple.

We are go for Pineapple.

-[cat screeches]
-[Marsha screaming]

I need that hair for work, you gargoyle.

Gah! Too late. Status report. Tell me
you're having better luck than I am.

Cat Cop about to pounce.

[meows]

Ten-41, ten-41, ice cream
has been dispatched to my tummy.

[Staci grunts]

Jimbo, now!

Run, run, run, run, throw!

-[clangs]
-Criminy-jeepers swear word!

[both cheering]

-Yeah! We did it! Yes!
-[dialing]

We got one, Bootsy.

I'm afraid Cat Cop won't be getting
the drop on Officer Doug.

Oh, silly. Of course not.
She's not dropping anywhere.

Cat Cop, time to branch out.

[yowling]

[gasps] My old partner, stuck in a tree?

Oh, I don't care how corrupt you were,
no kitty deserves this.

I need backup.

-[tires screeching]
-[sirens blaring]

[indistinct chatter]

[woman] Just speak softly to her, Doug.

[Bootsy] ♪ Meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow, meow ♪

♪ Meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪

♪ Meow, meow, meow ♪

Five, six, go!

No! What?! I don't--

-[alarm blaring]
-Gah!

[woman] What's happening?

[man] Think somebody should stay behind
and run the power plant?

[man 2] Eh, it's fine.

[imitates alarm]

Sorry, boss.

He's only the fifth kitten.

We can still stop this.
We have to find number six.

[yowls]

[snarling]

He's going for the reservoir.
That's the whole town's water supply.

-I do not want to drink cat.
-He'll never go in. Cats hate water.

Now, let's all just stand here
and watch me be right about--

-[grunts]
-[both groan]

[grunts]

-[grunts]
-[yowls]

[grunts]

[flies buzzing]

Well, that's disgusting.
Contamination in the reservoir.

-Shut down the water supply!
-[button buzzes]

I tried really hard, everyone, but...
[blows raspberry] You know.

That's all six kittens.
I-- I failed. It's happened.

Wait. Exactly what's happened?

Bootsy, how is this supposed to make
anyone love kittens more than babies?

Baby boy...

this is revenge.

I don't care about getting love.
I'm here to make it all go away.

-[gasps]
-What do you suppose is gonna happen

when this town loses its electricity
and clean water?

[electricity crackles]

-[people shouting]
-[man] Oh, man!

Ugh! Perfect.

-[cooing]
-[baby giggling]

[Bootsy] I'm thinking a whole lot
of angry people.

-[woman] Oh!
-[all arguing]

And who's there to calm them down
when their tempers explode?

Not the police or fire department.

My baby's stinky,
and I can't clean her up.

Don't you bring that thing near me.
I'll call the police.

They are not answering.

No police? It's every man for himself.

[shouts, grunts]

I blame the government.

[Bootsy]
No help from the mayor, bless him.

-[sneezes]
-[meows]

Bless you. Folks can't even get answers
from ol' reliable Channel Eight News.

Because at present,
it's lying on a living room floor

with a pineapple in its bouffant.

I believe Napoleon once said,

"Give me a thousand good men,
and I will take the world."

Well, I just brought down a whole town
with six kitty cats.

But I like the whole town.

I am sorry
about your adoptive kitten mother,

but revenge is like peeing yourself
to stay warm.

Oh, at first, it feels amazing.

But, in the end,
it leaves you even colder than before.

-And now your pants are soggy.
-Too late, Boss Baby.

This town's already fixing to explode.

No more love for anyone.

[cackling]

-[man] I'm jaywalking! I'm jaywalking!
-[all screaming]

Who took my batteries?

-What do we do, boss?
-I-- I don't--

-Hang on, I'm... I just-- ugh!
-Inspiring.

-Wait, I know what we do. Nothing.
-What?

Who comes out looking bad here?
Yeah, kitty cats.

That's great for our business.

But the town. We can't-- We have to help!

[scoffing] No, we don't.

-I just--
-Look at you.

You used to be the Boss Baby.

[stammers]

Then you went and joined a family,

started caring about things.
What did that get you?

-[Boss Baby] I... I'm...
-I'll be back.

I'm a little off my game today.
What is wrong with me?

I don't know, it's--
I just need to think!

I told you to go away. Ow!

Man up, man-baby.

Staci?

I get why you're mad,
but things are nuts out there.

And the boss is a sweaty mess without you.

[scoffs] He doesn't need anybody
but himself.

He doesn't care about anybody but himself.

Maybe that used to be true, but then
why's he out there right now, huh?

Sometimes I think Baby Corp
spends so much time trying to get love,

we forget why babies need it.

Ever since BB became your brother,
he's been a better boss, a better baby.

I guess... love changes everything.

So even if you still won't come help,
I just wanted to say...

thanks.

If I say I'll go,
will you stop hugging me?

I don't need an excuse
to stop hugging you.

Maybe-- No, that wouldn't--

Uh... [groans]

[hyperventilating]

-Should we hit him with something?
-Oh, yes, please.

-[Mega Fat grunts]
-[gasps] Templeton!

So are we gonna stop Bootsy Calico
or what?

All right, we've got a town of panicked,
angry citizens.

How do we get this toothpaste back
in the tube?

Ideas. Jimbo.

-I'm still angry about Gwendolyn.
-Not an idea.

-Staci.
-I brought Tim. Does that count?

If it helps, somebody told me
love changes everything.

[Mega Fat blowing a raspberry]

Come on, everyone, join in

so the man-baby knows
how foolish his yak-yak is.

Wait. I have a plan,
but it needs a volunteer.

Some baby is about to become
a Baby Corp legend.

I've changed my opinion of man-baby's
yak-yak, and also, I volunteer.

[grunting]

Safety line is secure.

You wanna rally a town
that's being torn apart?

Give them something to care about.
Hang in there, Mega Fat CEO Baby.

[gasps] You're pinching my mega fats.

Oh, my sweet goodness,
there's a baby in that tree.

[woman screams]

Somebody save that baby!

There's a baby in danger?

That's way more important
than punching out my feelings.

Sorry, Cat Cop. A baby needs saving.
You'll land on your feet.

[meows]

-[man] Save that baby.
-[woman] I'm coming!

[man 2] Yee-haw!

[sneezing] Must provide...

-baby-saving... leadership.
-[yowls]

-[grunting]
-[indistinct phone chatter]

Wait, Roosevelt,
did you just say, "baby stuck in tree"?

For journalism and ratings glory!

[yowls, thuds]

[all yelling]

To heck with the alarms.
Our town's trying to rescue a baby,

and they are gonna have
all the water and power they need!

[yelling continues]

[imitates alarm]

[grunting]

-[clamoring]
-[sirens blaring]

Ladders over there.
Backup nets at the ready.

Everyone remain calm.
Your mayor is in control.

[chuckling]

Everybody loves me,
and I love being loved.

You know what to do. We'll meet you there.

But in our town's darkest hour,
one thing brought us all together--

a lovable, helpless baby.

No, no, no, no, meow, meow, meow.
No, meow, meow, no!

[elevator dings]

[hisses]

Oh, you think you won?

Sweet baby helplessness
might sway the local yokels,

but that ain't gonna stop me
and my feral friends.

[all yowling]

Oh, I know.

But, you see,
there's a flip side to babies.

It's one we at Baby Corp
don't like to advertise in our brochures.

Sweet and helpless one minute...

And the next, we turn into fit throwing,
ankle biting psychopaths.

[triplets] Oh, yeah!

You think you know chaos, Calico?
Try dealing with a cranky baby.

[scoffs] You're bluffing.
You're all office babies.

All buttoned up and corporate.

Fair point. But I wasn't talking about us.

Meet Scooter Buskie.

[elevator dings]

[Boss Baby] Worst baby in the world.

Scooter, the bad man has cookies
and juice boxes for you.

What?

-[screeching]
-Ah!

[gasps, screams]

Follow that awful child's lead.

Cry havoc and let slip the babies of war!

[all yelling]

[yowling]

-[Bootsy screaming]
-[growling]

[triplets grunting]

Catch me, Uncle Bootsy.

-[grunts]
-Honk. Your nose is my prisoner.

[groaning] Ow!

Have mercy. [sobbing]

-I surrender.
-Pleasure doing business with you.

[cheering]

-[meows]
-I trusted you, Gwendolyn.

How could you betray me?

-Cat.
-Oh, yeah.

-So soft. [giggling]
-[purrs]

Have fun at the pound. We can be friends
when you pay your debt to society.

Bye!

Calico, you're going with my brother.

And here's precisely how it's going down.

Only Tim Templeton could've seen through
my diabolical plan and saved everyone.

Also, he should be making
at least twice his current allowance.

It's insulting.

I don't care about the allowance.
And I'm sorry I've been sneaking out.

I just thought you'd never believe me
about Mr. Calico's evilness.

Are you mad?

-Mad? Timmy, you're our hero.
-Oh!

[Templeton]
And Bootsy went to cat people prison,

and Mom and Dad are happy again,
and there's ice cream. And it's the best!

You have to celebrate with us.

Home in five, I promise.

[elevator dings]

Mega Fat CEO Baby.

Nice work up there.
So, you and me are good?

You wrecked the office?
For the second time this summer?

[chuckles]

I know. Heck of a way to win, but, uh...

Ha!

-Uh...
-Ha ha!

Where are we going with this?

[upbeat music playing over stereo]

[rhythmic laughter]

-You're fired!
-What?!

I wrote this song, like, five months ago,

and I can't believe I finally get
to use it.

♪ You're fired, you're fired
Ha, ha, ha, ha, you're fired ♪

Second verse.

There was a first verse?

♪ Is Boss Baby fired or not?
I don't know, let's ask a robot ♪

♪ You're fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-red ♪

He says you're fired. What?!

-I just saved this company.
-Shh! It's the breakdown.

♪ See, because I am the CEO
Three times your salary-EO ♪

♪ We all bow down to me-EO Tee-hee!
Here's how it be-E-O M G, you are fired! ♪

[imitating robot]

Big finish. ♪ Ha, ha, ha, you're-- ♪

Allow me to tell you what I'm gonna do
to you if'n you don't.

[whispering] I don't care about Baby Corp.

Help me ruin Boss Baby,

-and you can keep it.
-Deal.

-[monitor beeps]
-[all gasping]

Who?

Magnus!

I asked you to make those recordings
strictly in case

I came up with fresh new rhymes
for the "Ha Ha You're Fired" song.

I am a baby of conscience.

[gong clangs]

[male voice] A message from
the board of directors.

Mega Fat CEO Baby...

you're fired.

What?!

[laughing]

-Phil?
-[button dings]

No. You can't fire me.
I enjoy power way too much, guys.

-[button dings]
-[screaming]

[chuckles] Oh.

So satisfying.

-[gong clangs]
-[male voice] Boss Baby,

the board of directors
wishes to meet you upstairs...

right now.

Beebs, it's the big time.

We do need a new CEO.

Your Eminences, I'm honored. I...

[giggles]

[music playing over dialogue]

You have to celebrate with us.

Home in five. I promise.

How about first thing Monday morning?

[all gasping]

I'm booked all weekend.

[Boss Baby giggling]

[all laughing]

We're in trouble now. Oh, watch it.

I love this family!

[theme song playing]

♪ Boss Baby ♪