The Boss Baby: Back in Business (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 11 - Cat Cop! - full transcript

The Templetons cross paths with a "Cat Cop" with connections to cunning villain Bootsy Calico. Tim masters the art of negotiation.

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[grunts]

Hold all my calls.

[giggling]

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ I'm the boss, Boss Baby
Boss boss, Boss Baby, boss boss ♪

♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large
I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ Stroller rolling
Up and down the boulevard ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ I run this house, I rule this crib
Change my diaper, son, where's my bib? ♪

♪ Don't pacify, you just got to pay me ♪

-♪ Who's in charge? ♪
-♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪



-[marker squeaking]
-[yawns]

[Boss Baby] What I've learned from
the airplane incident: Mega Fat CEO Baby,

that scooting diaper rash,
will stop at nothing to get me fired.

How do I protect my job? I need a very
big win. But from where? Concentrate.

-Hey! Here's just the pick-me-up we need.
-[jazz music playing]

Hot poppin' jazz to keep me awake.

-[music gets louder]
-Nice. Ooh!

I love that jazz sizzlin'
in my little lady veins. Whoo-hoo! Yes!

It's eight o'clock. Can you turn to
the Goofball Chuck Nighttime Morning Show?

That's a no, daddy-o.
This jazz is like coffee for my ears.

-Okay.
-[scatting]

-"Okay"?
-What? He's my dad. He said no.

[laughs] "No" is just the first word
in a very interesting conversation.

You have to think of parents
as adversaries



to be sliced to bits
at the negotiation table.

No, you think like that.

-I think of Mom and Dad as best friends.
-Oh, Templeton.

[siren blaring]

[gasps] Did we do crimes?
Are we gonna get arrested?

No, Tim.
I don't know why he's pulling us over.

[blaring continues]

Turn off the jazz.
I don't want him to think we're ruffians.

What is it, officer?
Driving too carefully? [chuckles]

My new partner smelled trouble
and she's never wrong.

Partner! Here, partner!

-Ahh!
-[meowing]

-[gasps]
-Ain't she cute as a nickel?

But she's also tough as nails.
I call her Cat Cop.

-Cat Cop?
-Cat Cop.

-Cat Cop?
-Cat Cop? [laughs]

That is hilarious.

-[meowing]
-What's that, little partner?

-[meowing]
-Seems like there's a pretty big problem.

I'm gonna check it out.
Oh, broken taillight.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't broken
when we started driving.

-Hmm. Weird. I'll write you up a warning.
-[meowing]

What's that, girl?
I should write a full-blown citation?

-[meows]
-Wait, I'm getting a ticket now

-because of the cat?
-Do you have a problem

with my partner's judgment?

-[yowls]
-[gasps] No, officer, sir.

Hey! Goo-goo ga-ga there!
Kind of funny, actually.

Cat Cop's been having me pull over
a heck of a lot of baby families lately.

I had no idea folks with babies
were such troublemakers.

Anyway, have a nice night, folks.

[growls]

What realm of dark flame
have we come home to?

[grunting]

[sighs] Now, you're bringing in
the luggage for them?

-What? I love helping.
-Then come over here and help me.

-[Mom snoring]
-What's up?

I'm trying to reconstruct what happened
while we were in Paris.

"Cat Cop given real badge.
Brought on as a police mascot,

this former stray turned local hero
has quickly proven her worth.

After seeing the little kitten's
savvy nose for crime,

the chief has promoted Cat Cop from mascot
to an official member of the force."

She's come a long way since her legendary
act of heroism in Dangerous Well Park.

"...said Cat Cop's partner, who's human
and not a cat." This is journalism?

What's this legendary act of heroism
in Dangerous Well Park hoo-ha?

I don't buy it. Something's rotten.

Look! "Cat saves man from well.
The man had been in the well for hours.

The gathering crowd had no clue
how to save him..."

-Does anybody have a big stick?
-[meowing]

"...when a little stray kitten
came prancing up to the rescue."

-[all cheering]
-[Boss Baby] No, this doesn't make sense.

What kind of grown man gets stuck
in a well?

[both gasp]

-It's Bootsy Calico!
-Of course! Oh, Bootsy, you went too far.

This is perfect! It solves everything.

-Uh... how?
-Stay with me, Templeton.

Calico's plots have always been ruthless,

but up till now, there's been nothing
actually illegal, right?

Sure?

-"Oh, I'm Bootsy Calico."
-Nuh-uh.

-That's Football Mike.
-Just go with it.

"I opened a cat restaurant
to make people love cats.

I trained cats to sound like crying babies
so people hate babies.

No crimes here."

Hold it right there, Bootsy!

I shut your cat restaurant down,
I foiled your crybaby cat plot!

"Oh, no, now, I'm desperate."
Here's Cat Cop.

-Um...
-I'm aware it's a dinosaur.

Meow, meow. "I'm gonna stage a fake rescue
to get you on the police force

and make you do my evil bidding."

That is a crime! Fraud, corruption.

You're going to jail. Bootsy goes down!
Boss Baby's a hero!

Whoo! What do you think about that,
Mega Fat CEO Baby?

"Unter gunter! I'm going
to get you fired." Mega fat chance.

Boom! [grunting] Try firing me now!
I'm the king of this company.

Ahh! I'm king of your face! [cackling]

Templeton?

[grunting] You seemed busy,
so I went back to helping.

No. No, no, no. I can't watch you
throw away your potential like this.

You're coming with me to Baby Corp.
I'm gonna bust Bootsy, protect my job,

and give you your first lesson in...

power negotiating.

[voice echoing]

I need Mega Fat CEO Baby to approve
the gold star surveillance package.

State-of-the-art equipment,
sweet van, the works.

Isn't Mega Fat's office upstairs?

Rule one of negotiation:
never meet your adversary on their turf.

I thought negotiation was marching in
and being all, "Hey, I want this,

-so give it to me now, dummy!"
-No! Remain cool! Down to earth.

And never ask for what you want.
Ask for more than what you want.

-Let them talk you down.
-Oh, so they think they won.

I call them "smiling salami butts."

So happy,
no idea they've just been sliced to a nub.

There's our target, tossing back cookies

-like he's his own grandma.
-I don't get it.

Neither do I. Let's get that gold star
package. Mega Fat CEO Baby.

The picture of good health.

Oh, Boss Baby, I'm so glad you survived

that airplane incident in which I had
no part you can prove, but I'm surprised

you'd show your chubby cheeks
in here again so soon.

He does have adorable chubby cheeks,
doesn't he?

Like a dainty chipmunk.

So nice of you to say.

Always a kind compliment
coming from your copious mouth.

Whatever you're buttering me up for,
the answer is no.

I know how to take down
Bootsy Calico's entire operation.

Your request was pre-answered,
and the answer was "no."

Wait, wait. Hold on, Magnus.
My ears are perky.

All I need from you is... the platinum
supernova surveillance package.

Ha! Brown surveillance package for you.

Unacceptable!
Oh, I also need you to make me co-CEO.

That's too funny to laugh at.
I'm going to go ahead

-and keep trying to get you fired.
-So, how about we...

[cracks neck]

...negotiate?

[inaudible dialogue]

[inaudible dialogue]

Gold star surveillance package. And if
you get Bootsy, I stop trying to fire you.

You get nothing else. Final.
I win. Shh! No more words.

If that's all you can give me.

[snickering] Sucker.
Do you think he heard that?

Mega Fat CEO Baby
has quietly called you a sucker.

You are the best, Magnus.

He's a smiling salami butt!

Meet your new best friend.
Baby's First Book of Negotiation.

Learn it, live it.
I've got gold star surveilling to do.

I deserve this.
I mean, it just feels right.

[panting] Sorry I'm late.
Ooh, we're hugging cars?

-[chuckles]
-[car alarm blaring]

-[car beeps]
-All right, you two, listen up.

Step one,
catch Cat Cop in the act of dirty deeds.

Step two, prove that Bootsy
is giving Cat Cop orders.

Step three, let the benevolent tsunami
of job security wash over me.

-Where's Tim?
-He's a little busy...

becoming incredible.

No way this stuff works.
Mom, will you come here, please?

What do you need, sweetie?

Um, well, first, you look great.
Picture of good health.

Weird compliment to get from my son,
but thank you.

You know what would really
be great for me? For all of us?

If I had a huge bowl of ice cream
for lunch. I'm thinking punch bowl?

Ha! What? No.

Okay, then. Um, maybe we should...

[neck cracks]

...negotiate.

[inaudible dialogue]

[inaudible dialogue]

All right, one cone before lunch,
final offer.

Throw in a set of sprinkles,
and I think we have a deal.

[gasps]

I'm eating ice cream
at 10:30 in the morning?

This book is amazing.

[baby cooing]

-I got eyes on Cat Cop!
-[baby cooing]

-[meows]
-[gasps]

[meowing]

What's that, partner?
Issue a jaywalking ticket?

-That dirty cat made her jaywalk!
-Jimbo, did you get that? Photo, video?

I can do that?

Sorry. I'm used
to the brown surveillance package.

♪ I'm a little kitty cat
Crossing the street ♪

[gasps] My evidence!

[neck cracks]

[police siren, gunfire on TV]

We're good parents.

[grunts]

Did you see that?
She broke the taillight! Jimbo?

Got photos.

We got her!

We could get Cat Cop off the police force
with this evidence.

No! I don't just want Cat Cop.

My deal with Mega Fat was based
on busting Bootsy Calico.

We have to connect Bootsy to this.

Team, this is one
of the most important moments--

-[Mom] Dinnertime! I'll get the baby!
-Bootsy connection. Find it.

[cooing, sputtering]

-Negosh?
-Negosh.

Nice.

So, I got pulled over twice today,
both times by Cat Cop.

I feel like she's everywhere.

Three tickets for me since yesterday.
This is getting expensive.

-[doorbell rings]
-[meows]

-Was that a meow?
-I'm unarmed!

-[gasps] That can't be Cat Cop, can it?
-Not it!

Kidding. I got you, Janice.
We'll go together.

Man, this Cat Cop
is really getting to Mom and Dad.

Don't start feeling sorry for them,
Templeton. You'll lose your edge.

-Are you putting ice cream on your pizza?
-Anything I want. Negosh life to the max.

[monitor beeps]

-We found Bootsy, BB.
-Go time. Where is he?

-He's walking into your house right now!
-What?

As I was saying,
once my restaurant closed,

I decided to get into real estate.

I just loved finding homes for food
in people's tummies so much,

I figured, why not find actual homes
for real people?

[chuckles] How quickly do y'all wanna
move out of this terrible town?

We've never actually considered moving.

Oh, no? [scoffs] Seems like
every baby family is moving away,

selling their houses to cat families.

It's very trendy.

We do consider ourselves trendy.

You most certainly are. Oh, geez Louise,
I may even buy this house myself.

[chuckles] I bet this nice baby
would love to know my kitty cats

are frolicking around his old bedroom,
crib filled with kitty litter!

We'd probably take the crib with us.

Yes, I'd pay a lot of money
for a pretty little house like this.

-I'm sorry, did you say "a lot of money"?
-It's starting to making sense now.

Bootsy's using Cat Cop
to harass baby families.

Why? So he can drive babies out of town!

He's out there trying to get Mom and Dad
to sell him our house!

-What? Why would he even want our house?
-Don't you see, Templeton?

He's eliminating the competition.
Clear out all the baby families,

and this town becomes
nothing but a cat-ruled netherworld!

-[ominous music playing]
-Can you open up?

I just need something I left
at my old house.

-[gasps]
-[cats yowling]

[thunder rumbling]

[whimpers]

-[growling]
-[screams]

[snarls]

-[screaming]
-[cats snarling]

[panting]

-[gasps]
-[cats meowing]

Football Mike, I'm so sorry I forgot you.

Why did you let your parents sell
the house, Tim? Why? Hut, hut, help!

No!

We can't move!

It's negosh time, baby.

There's this sprucy new house
five towns from here.

And this one is even better.

-It's farther.
-[door opens]

[neck cracks]

You're making a huge mistake staying here!
Huge! And I don't know how you did it,

but here's the $5 I agreed to give you.
Good day!

Thanks for buying me some time.
Tonight, we bust Bootsy.

You know, a little birdy told me

the Templetons
are causing all sorts of trouble.

Someone from law enforcement
oughta straighten them out,

even if it takes lots and lots and lots
and lots of tickets.

Don't you think?

-Jimbo?
-[Jimbo] We got him. Yay!

Ugh, no, we didn't!
This just looks like a concerned citizen

-filing a grievance with a local officer.
-Come on, BB!

My job's on the line, Stace.
We pounce too soon, it all falls apart.

This isn't enough.
We need solid, hard, concrete evidence.

You two, I want 24/7 surveillance
on Bootsy Calico.

What about Cat Cop?

We won't have to look for Cat Cop.
She'll be coming after my own family.

Oh! Since when is this a red curb?

-But that's not our litter.
-[siren blaring]

Lucky for you, stealing a lawn gnome
is just a ticketable offense in this town.

What lawn gnome?

-[meows]
-Oh, come on!

I'm having a harder time convincing
Mom and Dad not to sell the house.

Cat Cop's really giving them,
pardon my language, big-time heck!

Negotiate strong, Templeton.
I'm fixing this as fast as I can.

[monitor beeps]

Boss Baby, my man
with the gold star surveillance van.

That's super expensive equipment,
by the way.

I hope you got results because
I'd hate to tell the board of directors

you're wasting money
and they should let me fire you.

But, secretly, I'd love that so much,
I'd kiss it on the mouth. Mwah, mwah!

I love you, firing Boss Baby. Mwah, mwah!

Save your kisses, Mega Fat.
I'm seconds away from nabbing Bootsy.

Please tell me we're seconds away
from nabbing Bootsy.

Ugh, no proof he's giving Cat Cop orders.
He hasn't left his lair in days.

-I need action! I'm so bored!
-Not me.

-I saw 102 cars go by.
-Not helpful, Jimbo.

Stace,
let me know the instant he makes a move.

-[Jimbo] 103--
-[clicks]

-[grunts] Templeton!
-Sorry!

[gasps] Wait. You gave me
the break I needed. Look at this.

Bootsy's changing the battery
in Cat Cop's li'l helmet.

-So?
-That's how he's giving orders.

The helmet's a remote receiver,
and Bootsy's fingerprints are all over it.

-So if we get Cat Cop's helmet...
-Bootsy's busted, baby!

I need a ride around the neighborhood
to find Cat Cop and steal that helmet.

You think I'm just gonna give
a bike ride away?

Oh, I could not be prouder of you,
monster I created. Let's do this!

-[neck cracks]
-[neck cracks]

-[gasps] There's Cat Cop!
-[meowing]

[mutters] How was I supposed to know you
hated raisins? Oh, man. I sneezed on it.

-Do we have a plan?
-We're gonna get that helmet.

-[meows]
-I don't wanna get in trouble.

And I respect that. I'll come up
with a careful plan. There she is!

-[Boss Baby shouts]
-[yowls]

[cat snarling]

Hurry! Here comes her partner.

I still can't get the helmet.
She's too wily. Give me a hand.

-[both grunt]
-As they say in Dangerous Well Park,

well, well, well.

The park has three wells.
They're all dangerous.

Listen, officer,
maybe we can work something out.

[neck cracks]

Then he tried to negotiate his way
out of trouble, which really got my goat.

I'm gonna have to write you folks
a citation for loose children.

-That's a big fine.
-[meows]

[sighs] Awesome. Thanks.

These tickets are costing us a fortune.

We have no choice
but to sell the house to Bootsy.

Maybe a change will be good for Tim.
He's really been acting out.

Yeah, all that negotiating. I'm starting
to feel like he's taking advantage of us.

[gasps] We're moving. Mom and Dad
turned into angry salami butts.

-We didn't even get Cat Cop's helmet.
-[chuckles]

-What are you so happy about?
-[laughs] We did get the helmet!

-I swapped it out for Football Mike's!
-You can't take Football Mike's helmet.

-That's what gives him football powers.
-Templeton,

we've got Bootsy Calico dead to rights.

My job is safe. Mega Fat CEO Baby
won't be able to touch me

-when I become the hero of Baby Corp.
-But we still have to move.

Who cares? It's a simple real estate deal.
You get a new house. Play it right,

and you can turn this into a full bedroom
suite upgrade, with hot tub!

Come on, tiger. Get in there
and negosh like I taught you.

You're just trying to teach me how
to be selfish! I don't wanna be like you!

I'm sorry about everything.
I don't want us to move because of me.

[Mom] Oh, Timmy, it's not your fault.
Come here, baby.

Am I a bad kid?

No! You're the best kid I know.
Come here. Big hug!

[Mom] We love you, Tim, so much.
Nothing can ever change that.

[sighs]

[cats snarling]

Bootsy Calico!

I'm here to negotiate.

Ooh! Baby in a suit.
So, you've come into my lair to negotiate?

I thought you were a smart businessman.
Oh, nice leverage.

Your prints are all over this.

-This is a one-way ticket to prison.
-[gasps] The people pound?

I'm here to do business.

[neck cracks]

So, let's do business.

[neck cracks]

So, I'm pretty much
just gonna give this to you.

All I ask is that Cat Cop is off the force
and you pay all of my family's fines.

Wait a second. What's the play here?

I just want my family to be happy again.

Ooh-hoo-hoo!
Family's making you soft, baby man.

Mom and Dad's fines went away,
and the newspaper said Cat Cop quit.

You can go bust Bootsy Calico now.
We'll all be fine.

I can't bust Bootsy anymore.
I gave him the helmet.

What? Why? What about your job?

You really think Mega Fat
has the brains to get me fired?

Just gonna be tougher to beat him now.
Besides, some things are more important,

like proving to your brother
you're not as selfish as he thinks.

Oh, make no mistake.
I'm still selfish, but more self... ish?

Is that Mr. Pineapple's Café?

I put a spy camera
in Cat Cop's helmet! [chuckles] Classic!

-[Timmy] What's on the board?
-[gasps]

[Timmy] "Six well-placed kittens"?

It looks like his master plan.
I think that's his master plan!

Six well-placed kittens.
We got him. Let's get to work.

[theme song playing]

♪ Boss Baby ♪