The Boss Baby: Back in Business (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Par Avion - full transcript

A "free" family vacation comes at a cost when Tim's tasked with keeping a plane full of babies calm on an eight-hour flight to Paris.

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---
[grunts]

Hold all my calls.

[giggling]

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ I'm the boss, Boss Baby
Boss boss, Boss Baby, boss boss ♪

♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large
I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ Stroller rolling
Up and down the boulevard ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ I run this house, I rule this crib
Change my diaper, son, where's my bib? ♪

♪ Don't pacify, you just got to pay me ♪

-♪ Who's in charge? ♪
-♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪



[stomping]

[mumbling]

Templeton, that's an airplane
seat back work surface, not--

[gasps] Why am I on an airplane?

You're awake. Guess what. Guess--
never mind. We won a free vacation!

Mom and Dad kept it a surprise,
but they told me this morning

and I was so surprised, like-- [gasps]

This morning?

Right after they put the motion sickness
medicine in your bottle.

-[chuckles] You went asleep so fast.
-[gasps]

Mommy and Daddy drugged me?!

Maybe they didn't want you throwing up
on the free vacation.

There's no such thing as "free,"
Templeton. Everything costs something.

What's the angle? Who benefits?
And why are we in coach?



[gasps]

Staci?

-And Jimbo?
-[giggling] Hey!

-[gasps]
-[coos]

[woman] Yes, that's a good baby.

Who's a good baby?

-Does this seem like a lot of babies?
-[Mom] Ooh, honey.

It's Marsha Krinkle
and the Channel 8 News team.

Local celebrity stuck
on a flight full of babies? [chortles]

-Breaking news, that's not gonna go well!
-[Boss Baby] Dad's right.

Thirteen babies and local television's
most cold-blooded newscaster?

This is no coincidence.

-Why is everybody going to Paris?
-Paris? In France?!

-[buzzing]
-[accordion music playing]

[clicks]

-[yelps]
-♪ Twinkle twinkle, little Boss ♪

♪ I just won
Whoop-whoop, you lost ♪

Say good night-night to your career,
Boss Baby.

It's a setup.
We have to get off this plane!

Hello. Ladies and gentlemen,
cabin doors are closed

My name is Stevefan,
and why did the airplane cross the sky?

Because the people onboard
were all awesome.

[laughs]

-[passengers groan]
-[Stevefan] Okay.

Now let's buckle up for safety, mm-kay?

Or as they say in France, mm-oui?

[giggles]

It's gonna be a long eight-hour flight.

[yelps]

[Mom] Honey, the baby's out of his seat.

When did you wake up?
Tim, switch with me.

-and I'll buckle him back--
-I got him. Eh? Eh? Eh?

[chuckles]

-[whispers] You need to calm down.
-You don't understand.

A transatlantic flight
is a baby's worst nightmare.

Stuck in a seat for eight hours,

air pressure hammering
our sensitive eardrums.

-Guaranteed meltdown.
-[wails]

Ugh! A crying baby on an airplane
is the worst.

And that's just one baby.
We have 13 on this flight.

One baby cries,
it starts a chain reaction.

Baby after baby after baby, shrieking,
wailing, passengers trapped inside

as the worst noise in the world echoes
around this flying metal tube!

That's awful.

That's just getting started.

Is one crying baby news?
No. But 13 on one plane?

Oh-ho-ho-ho,
Channel 8's gonna be all over that.

It'll go nationwide. Global!

One bad flight
could make the whole world hate babies.

And that flight is this flight,
and my field team is on it.

I'll be finished. My career is over.
[moans]

-[gasps]
-No, it's not.

Because there's one thing
Mega Fat CEO Baby didn't think of.

Moms and dads.
They'll take care of their own babies.

[Dad] The in-flight headphones are free?

Ooh, mellow saxophone jams.

[snoring]

Ohhh. I guess Mega Fat CEO Baby
did think of that.

[grunts] Check the others.
Are they all asleep?

[scattered snoring]

Well, not the babies.

Or the grown-ups without babies
or the Channel 8 News team.

Oh. That's all bad, isn't it?

-[wheezing]
-[squeaking]

-You want your bottle?
-Thanks.

[gulping, spits]

That's the drug-- [slurs]
Oh, there's the motion sickness formula.

Makes me... [yawns]

...tired and all loopy.

You're kinda freaking me out.

[slurring] My hands is a pretty bird now.

Flappa-flappa-moo! It's a cow-bird.

[snores]

[gasps]

[jet engines whining]

-[sobs]
-[man] Babies...

-[man 2] Here we go.
-[moaning]

Hey, stay with me.
What are we supposed to do?

Templeton, I'm sorry, but I'm useless
until the medicine wears off.

It's all on you.

[gasps] For the next seven hours,
57 minutes and 32 seconds,

you need to keep those babies from crying,
no matter what. [snores]

We're supposed to be on a free vacation.

[slurring]
No such-a thing as free, Temple-toon.

[snores]

Uh... [yelps]

-Promise me you'll fix this!
-[gasps]

[snores]

Okay. Okay.

[thumping, grumbling]

[snoring]

[gasps]

-[thumping]
-Jimbo, shh.

You're bothering people
and making other babies cry, too.

I can't help it! My ears hurt.

-[moans]
-Try this.

[moaning]

-[sighs]
-[baby crying]

Ugh!

[crying]

[sighs] Oh, Roosevelt.
Why am I even on this flight?

There's no news here.

Well, that German fellow who called
the station promised there would be.

"Mega Fat Anonymous Tipster"?
I think he was lying.

[crying]

[crying]

[squeals]

Pacifiers are for the weak.

I thought air pressure
made babies' ears hurt.

My ears are immune.

I used to hold my breath
to get my way. A lot.

-So did I, but--
-This one time in daycare,

I held it so long,
they called in an ambulance,

and the ambulance guy used
the Jaws of Life to pry my mouth open,

and then I bit him,
just so he knew who was in charge.

That sounds like a made-up story.

[gasps]

Okay. If you don't want the pacifier,
don't take it.

You win. Just breathe.

[gasps] Commitment.

[sighs] Why'd it have to be you
who's still awake?

The boss is out?

It's all a setup by Mega Fat CEO Baby.

-He's on the plane?
-What? No. He just set it up.

-Then who's the inside man?
-Inside of what?

[gasps] You really are gonna be
the downfall of this field team.

Am not.

Oh-kay. Mega Fat CEO Baby
made the plans.

But he's back at Baby Corp,
so who's he got working on the plane?

[gasps]

[yells]

Hey there, slugger.

Uh, hello. Who was I talking to?
Not a baby, because that'd be weird.

Am I right, Flight Attendant "Steven"?

Well, it's Stevefan.
I pronounced it earlier,

but I know it's hard to remember things,
isn't it?

Like how you're supposed to be
buckled in your seat right now.

-[Tim] Eeee!
-There we go.

Snug and safe and ready to soar.

Are we gonna sit like a good boy
all the way to "Bonjour Paris"?

Yes, sir.

And will there be consequences
if we don't?

Yes, sir...?

Darn skippy there will be.
[laughs] Have a great flight.

[yelps]

Don't trust anybody.

[gulps]

[baby sobbing]

[snoring]

-Row 17, the bald-headed kid.
-[crying]

[Staci] Better calm him down
before that crying catches on.

-I squeeze a marshmallow.
-[squeals]

I'm trying to save your job!

-I don't see the flight attendant.
-Probably up in first class.

Quit freaking out.
I'll be your eyes and ears.

Can't you just go help the babies?

Believe me, I'd rather do this myself,
but it's too risky.

It's a small plane
and I'm supposed to be just a normal baby.

What happens when people see me?
"Hi. Guess what? I can talk too."

"Is your brain okay?" "No, it just died!"

Okay, I'm going.

[crying]

-What's the hold-up, man-baby?
-I know he had a bottle, but it's gone.

What about a pacifier?
Uh, maybe a clip-on?

It's been cut. Somebody stole his chupie.

Darn it.
I told you there was an inside man.

[squeals]

-[moaning]
-[woman] Can somebody quiet those kids?

It's spreading, and I think the news lady
knows something's up.

-[man] Are you kidding me? Come on!
-[sniffing]

[Staci] It's gonna start a chain reaction.

What am I supposed to do
without a bottle or pacifier?

-Try singing him a lullaby.
-Why would I know lullabies?

Just make one up. Hurry!

Uh...

♪ Baby rides a shiny airplane ♪

♪ On a unicorn made out of hugs ♪

[moans, cries]

Blahhh!

You try it.

♪ So close your eyes right now ♪

♪ Baby, settle down ♪

♪ Before the sleep demon
Devours your soul ♪

-[wails]
-What is wrong with you?

You're just afraid
because my art is too real.

♪ Before the sleep unicorn
Comes for more hugs ♪

In the first verse, you said
the unicorn was made of hugs.

The stupid unicorn's not the point.
The baby's back asleep.

[Staci] Oh, good!

Then you probably oughta check
what the news lady is doing in row 15.

What?

[thumps]

Hi. I'm Marsha Krinkle, Channel 8.
This is my fellow journalist, Roosevelt.

He can smell the news.

[sniffing] Whew!

You got story odor all over you,
little man.

Yeah, gimme me that news.

I heard there's a story on this plane.
What's going on?

Something to do with the ridiculous number
of babies onboard?

-Why so many?
-Reached for comment,

the boy who smells like news said this...

Uh... [gasps]

What in the world am I seeing?

[gasps] Staci!

Nope, it's Stevefan. And let me guess,

your name is,
"I don't have to listen to Stevefan

because I don't know what's good for me."
[laughs]

Can you confirm that is, in fact,
your name?

March!

Now, I don't want to scare you,
but I'm gonna scare you.

When Junior Jet Rangers can't stay
in their own seats,

it's my duty to strap them
into our special naughty boy jump seat.

[Stevefan] Whoo!

-[Stevefan laughing]
-[buckle clicks]

[groans] I was just helping the babies.

The babies are none of your concern.
So be good,

sit still, and know that Stevefan
is watching you forever and always,

even when you think I'm not.

[drawing out syllables] Stevefan.

You think he's Mega Fat's inside man?

Duh. You need to go on offense.
Take that flight attendant down.

[Staci] He's the key
to Mega Fat's whole evil plan.

Stop the inside man, no more babies cry,
everybody has a nice flight,

Marsha Krinkle goes home
without a bad baby news story,

-and we all keep our jobs.
-I don't know.

Everybody's really calm and sleeping now,
and I don't want to get into more trouble.

[snorts] Typical timid Templeton.

-What's that supposed to mean?
-Forget it.

Let's just try to get through
the rest of this flight.

[Tim growling]

"No! I have a dinosaur wife and children."

"You should've thought of that
before you were so delicious!"

[growling]

[slurring] I'm-a travel choo-choo
all the way to Grandmama's.

[snoring]

-Rarrr!
-[baby giggling]

Huh?

[Staci squeals]
They're all over the cabin!

[babbling, laughing]

That flight attendant must've taken them
all out of their baby seats.

Marsha Krinkle and the guy who smells news
already spotted them.

[Staci] Stay calm.
The babies are still happy.

-[signal beeps]
-This is your captain speaking.

-We are headed into some minor turbulence.
-[gasps]

Please remain seated
with your safety belts securely fastened.

And if you have little ones flying
with you today,

ooh, boy, is everybody gonna hate you.

-[rumbling]
-[cries]

-[adults grumbling]
-[wailing]

-Come on!
-Are you kidding me?

[woman] Really?

Flightmare: The Crying Baby-pocalypse.
That's our story.

Roosevelt, camera.
This one's gonna go global.

Hallelujah! We got news.

Where's the inside man?

[whimpering]

He's busy with the beverage cart.

I'll keep you out of his eyeline. Just go!

Run past my row. You've got five seconds.

[Staci] Duck left, row 21. Now!

Two rows back. Now!

-[grunts]
-Agh!

[sobbing]

Roosevelt, where's the camera?

This baby is making news all over me.
What the--

[scattered wailing]

[Staci] He's coming. Bob and weave.

-[grunts]
-[crying]

Shh, shh!

Shut 'em up faster.
He's headed right towards you.

[crying continues]

-[squeals]
-Shut it down!

-[adults grumbling]
-Eh...?

They're chain-reacting,
and I'm out of pacifiers.

Improvise!

[cart rumbles]

[gasping, crying]

I can't get to the last one.

Grab the beverage cart
and pull it back six rows.

What? Why?

Oh, I don't know, because do it!

There you go. Hey!

Peel right.

Huh?

-[yelps]
-[clattering]

[growls]

No story this time, newslady.
You probably wanna clear out now.

[gasps]

-[woman] Oh! Oh, my goodness!
-[man] What are you-- Stop!

[yawns]

Gotcha! [groans]

[Stevefan panting]

May I have a ginger ale, please?

[snarls]

[soda can opens]

[Stevefan growls]

Do you have any straws?

[paper rips]

Thank you.

[slurping]

Ahhh!

-[yelps]
-[Marsha] Top off my coffee, hon.

Marsha Krinkle needs to be wired and ready
when those babies cut loose again.

Right with you, ma'am.

Try me, buckaroo.
I have got a "naughty boy jump seat"

with your backside's name
written all over it!

[groans]

[yelps]

He's onto me.
I think I should just lay low for--

-[sighs] I knew this was coming.
-You knew what was coming?

The part where you give up
because you're not really committed.

What are you talking about?
I've been doing everything.

But you're not gonna finish
what you started.

I put my whole baby life into this,

and then suddenly the boss joins a family
and gets a brother and,

"Oohdy-doo, look at me. I'm Tim,
and I'm on the team, too. Whoo!"

-I do not say, "Oohdy-doo."
-Do you even care about Baby Corp?

-I--
-You know what? Forget it.

-I can do this myself.
-Staci, wait!

-Don't do anything stupid.
-Busted!

[laughing]

My pain is not funny.

[laughs, snores]

[Tim grunting]

This isn't over.

We're onto you, Steven.

Stevefan!
Here's a trick to remember how to say it.

I am wearing a name tag! [laughing]

Okay? Bye-bye.

[grunting]

Staci?

Okay, you were right.
I don't care about Baby Corp.

Like the pie charts or who gets promoted.
[grunts]

I just wanna help my brother.
We're on the same team.

So, if you're out there, help me?

[sighs]

-[gasps]
-Baby like a shiny...

-Like a shiny, shiny... gimme.
-You have to get back in your seat.

If the inside man/flight attendant
sees you--

Wait! Yes, get it, baby.
Get the shiny buckle.

Yeah!

-Thank you.
-[snoring]

[murmuring]

-[gasps]
-Staci!

[crying]

Okay, little missy.
Let's just stay in our--

-[howls]
-[shrieks, screaming]

[babbling]

We won!

It's over!

-Why is your face like that?
-The flight attendant.

As he was buckling me in,
he-- he gave me my bottle.

What? I thought he wanted crying babies.

-Unless...
-He wasn't the inside man.

[faint rock music playing]

What is your problem, kid?

[yelps] You're not asleep?

Norwegian metal.

I've been awake the whole time,
trying to make babies cry.

And you, gosh, you just keep interfering.

But, you're a mom.

Exactly.
I want what's best for my baby girl.

So when some German guy calls and promises
to pay her future college tuition

if this flight ends
with 13 screaming babies,

well, then,
that's exactly what's gonna happen.

-[gasps]
-[puffs]

No!

This is for you, Dakota.
You're going to Ohio State!

-[pops]
-[gasps]

[screams]

-[screaming]
-[adults protesting]

[screaming]

[grunts] I'm sorry. Chain-reacting.

-I'm only so strong.
-Oh, no.

[wails]

[screaming]

[gasping]

Agh!

Crying Baby-pocalypse! It's back on!

It's news! [laughs] And it smells good!

Get the camera. We roll in 30, 29...

[cackling]

[groaning]

Whoa!

Oof!

[giggling]

[gasps] I know how to fix this,
and it's gonna hurt.

[Marsha] Twenty, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15...

Attention, flight crew.

I am out of my seat,
without a grown-up, again.

You!

I also took three bags of peanuts.

[gasps] No!

And I knew how to say "Stevefan"
all along.

-I just said "Steven" to cheese you off.
-[squeals] No!

Watch this, baby.

[panting] Yah!

Ugh!

[giggles]

That's right. My pain is funny.

[voice trembling] Get back in your seat.

-Never.
-[grunts]

-Oof!
-[laughing]

-Agh!
-[laughing]

Ugh!

-Uhn!
-[giggles]

-Uh!
-[laughing]

Three, two...

[sobbing]

-[babbling]
-Yay!

One! Hi, Marsha Krinkle, Channel 8 News.

Here with...

[babies giggling]

-[man] Aw, so sweet.
-[woman] Look how cute they are.

Oh, dang!

...the most adorable story
this news crew has ever witnessed.

It's a Giggling Baby-pocalypse.

[passengers gasping] Oh!

But-- how did--?

[Stevefan grunting]

[whispers] I will never question
your commitment again.

You're welcome. [grunts]

[captain] Ladies and gentlemen,
bienvenue to Paris, France.

[moans]

[thumping]

[grunting, thumping]

-Templeton?
-Can you help me out of this?

I think I'm allowed now.

Oh, you were a delight,
an absolute delight.

Bye-bye. [snarls]

Have a nice day. So nice having you.

Call the German!
You tell him I did my part!

[yelling] My baby gets her scholarship!

Templeton, you've done me, Baby Corp

and these passengers' eardrums
a great service today.

Eh, it was teamwork.

Gelling as a field unit? Excellent.

And even better,
Mega Fat CEO Baby's scheme just backfired

into an all-expenses-paid Paris vacation.

-Yeah!
-[parents yelp]

[camera shutter clicking]

Okay, enough socialism. Let's go home.

[jet engine whines]

[theme song playing]

♪ Boss Baby ♪