The Bionic Woman (1976–1978): Season 3, Episode 6 - African Connection - full transcript
Jaime Sommers is on a mission in Africa t stop dictator Azzar from rigging the elections. She hires Harry Walker and his WWII tank 'The Princess' to transport her through the jungle.
We made a deal.
It's Azzar's throat-cutting
mercenaries got me worried.
We have to stop them.
Even if we have to kill them.
MAN: Look out!
We can move on the capital
and take over right now. No!
RASAN: Your safety is most important.
Go to the village of Adabba.
Run, Leona!
Now, that kind of coup cost me the presidential
chair once before.
MAN: Stop them!
Okay, come on.
Get the stuff out of there.
Good morning, madam.
I hate the silence here now.
Most of all, I miss the sound of children.
Leona, they'll return
when it's safe.
(EXCLAIMING)
Rasan!
Run, Leona!
We will hold them off
as long as we can.
Go to the village of Adabba.
We'll meet you there.
Now! Run!
(ARTILLERY FIRE)
All right. We take the
woman alive, if possible.
Now let's go.
MAN: Victor,
don't let him escape.
AZZAR: So you let her get away?
We're not even sure she was ever there.
Well, where else would she be?
All of the presidential candidates agreed
to return
to the neutrality of their own village until
the election was over.
Leona would not have
gone back on her word.
Colonel, why even bother
with the election?
We can move on the capital
and take over right now. No!
Now, that kind of coup cost me the presidential
chair once before.
I do not intend to make the same mistake twice.
Is that clear?
Now, I will tell you what
kind of harm she can do.
As Mombassa's widow,
she can be a strong
rallying point for my enemies.
What enemies?
What enemies have you got that the paratroop
regiment can't handle?
That's another error of judgment I've
made once before.
To be effective, a government
must seem to be legitimate.
It must appear to be truly representative
of the people's will.
Now, like the other candidates,
I have agreed to abide by
the rules of the election.
And since the UN shall supervise it,
no one can contest the rule of the winner.
Colonel, if you’re expecting to actually win
the votes of the people...
That is to say, sir,
your reputation isn't exactly endearing,
if you know what I mean.
Gentlemen,
I shall win.
And by an overwhelming majority.
Let me explain.
A voting machine will be placed in
each principal town,
wired to a computer directly to the capital.
Now, this computer will instantly tabulate
the voting progress.
Honest,
and apparently foolproof.
I suggest you think twice about that,
if you want to sit in the
president's chair again.
I said "apparently."
(CHUCKLES)
Day after tomorrow, a Monsieur Robaire
will come from Zürich
with a pre-programmed
computer element.
This element, inserted
in the display apparatus,
will flash the kind of election result
I want to see.
Then what's it matter if the Mombassa woman
gets away or not?
Because I want to consolidate my position
with no loose ends.
Nobody.
Nobody from the Mombassa family will be left
alive to cry fraud
or to start a resistant movement.
OSCAR ON RADIO: Jaime,
our Zurich agent reports
that Azzar is trying to fix
the voting tabulation.
You'll have to exchange an 08/ computer element
for the one Azzar is getting.
It will count the votes honestly.
When your old college chum, Leona Kantu,
went back home,
she married Zenda Mombassa,
leader of Azzar's opposition before
he was murdered.
We've made arrangements with a man named Jeff
Peters to take you upriver.
Uh, Jeff Peters?
Afraid not, but I wish I were.
They told me at the hotel
I might find him here.
Oh. Well, uh, you see
that man over there?
He might know.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hello. Do you know, uh, where I could
find Mr. Jeff Peters?
(SIGHS)
Is that a yes or a no?
What do you want him for?
Well, I had made arrangements to meet him
at the hotel this morning.
Arrangements have a way of getting screwed up in
this part of the world, Cookie.
What does that mean?
It means Jeff Peters' boat hit a mine in
the river yesterday.
I don’t think all the pieces are down
yet. Get my drift?
Oh, Lord.
Of course, it could've
been worse.
(Sighs)
Might've been me, too.
Jeff asked me to go along for the ride.
I figure a hangover saved my life.
Uh, listen, Mr...
Walker.
Walker.
But you can call me Harry.
I like attractive women
to call me Harry.
Harry,
do you know of anyone else with a boat who
can take me upriver?
You're out of luck. I've got the only
other one around here.
Well, then it looks like
I make a deal with you.
Forget it. I told you
what happened to Jeff.
Well, yes, but I...
Nothing you can say or do
is gonna get me off my butt, through that
door, and onto my boat.
$5,000.
You got a deal.
But not upriver.
We go overland.
How far up-country do you wanna go?
JAIME: Azzar's compound.
Uh, wait, wait.
Where are you going?
(LAUGHS)
I'm sorry, Cookie, I guess I wasn't
seeing too straight.
I never figured on Azzar's compound.
We made a deal.
Going upriver's impossible 'cause Azzar's mined it
with explosives.
And it ain't the journey
overland's got me sweating.
I mean, it's got your basic
man-eating wild animals
and your basic terrors of the jungle.
I go through that every day.
It's... it's Azzar's throat-cutting mercenaries
got me worried.
So, you see, our chances of making it ain't good.
And getting back?
(LAUGHS)
No way!
Harry, this partnership doesn't exactly have me
on my toes with joy either.
Now, if there was another way, believe me,
I would jump at it.
But seeing as how you're my only chance,
how does, uh,
another 2,500 sound?
How about another 5,000?
5,000 now,
5,000 when we get back.
I was afraid you were gonna say that.
(SNIFFS)
Let's go.
A white woman here is
trying to go up-country.
She's made a deal with Harry Walker.
They're going overland.
MAN: You know what to do.
Yes. I'll take care of it now.
It's done.
(LAUGHING)
(GRUNTS)
Well, how do you like it, huh?
Isn't it lovely?
Gorgeous.
This is my residence.
And, uh, over here.
This is my baby.
What is it?
Know what I call her?
The Princess.
How'd you know that?
Psychic.
Well, it looks more like a frog to me.
Now come on, Cookie, be fair.
You can say anything you like about me,
my friends, my family,
but when it comes to The Princess,
she's special.
She went all the way
through the Second World War.
And probably a few years
of the First.
I'm sorry. I...
Looks can be deceiving.
Come on, dame. What are you waiting for?
I'm coming.
(Sighs)
Yeah, she's real cute.
(ENGINE STALLING)
Are you sure this thing works?
A half-track doesn't
work, it runs.
This one runs, usually, but right now, this
minute, it ain't working.
(ENGINE CONTINUES STALLING)
Oh, Harry! Come on!
Come on.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(LAUGHS)
Very good!
(ENGINE SPUTTERS)
Well, that was a short trip.
(GROANS)
Look, I want to be fair.
You can forget about
the second 5,000.
Now wait a minute.
You trying to tell me
you can't fix that?
Sure, but not now,
not here, not alone.
To take that rod out, you have to
take off the track.
And to do that, I have to have a hoist
and the proper tools.
Well, I would think for $10,000 you would
at least try to fix it.
Oh, come on, Harry.
Why... Why are you doing that now?
Well, maybe I'm trying
to escape from something.
You're talking nonsense.
Where are you going?
To get a crowbar.
I'm humoring you.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(GRUNTING)
You see?
I told you it wouldn't work.
What the...
What...
Well.
How about that?
First, a hangover saves my life,
and now a shot of booze gives me the strength
of a bull elephant.
My luck must be changing.
Come on, Cookie,
let's go up-country.
(GRUNTING)
(CLATTERING)
Harry, how long do you think before we get into
dangerous territory?
Two, three hours ago.
Well, don't you think we ought to work out
some kind of a defense plan
or escape or something?
Hardly a chance of escape
if the natives want us.
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)
That is, if the elephants
don't get us first.
Listen, if you’re so sure we aren't
gonna get out of this,
why are you risking your life for a few
thousand dollars?
Cookie,
I've got my reasons.
How did Walker fix it?
We have to stop them.
Even if we have to kill them.
Oh, boy.
What's wrong?
Well, The Princess needs
a drink. She's boiling over.
(LAUGHS)
You thirsty?
Thirsty?
Yeah, thirsty.
(EXHALES IN FRUSTRATION)
I was wrong about my luck.
It's run out again.
Harry, why do you do that?
My liver.
For your liver. You know,
I have never met anybody
who makes so many excuses
for taking so many drinks,
for such lousy reasons.
Please,
have a little mercy.
Have a little water.
All right. Give me.
That's worth another 5,000.
You'll get used to it.
That's what they said
about Castor Oil.
(SONAR BEEPING)
Harry, somebody's coming.
You're hearing things.
Yeah? What's that?
Trouble! Come on!
Let's go!
(BULLET RICOCHETS)
(GUNFIRE)
Harry, can't we outrun them?
Don't think so. The Princess
has never been a fast lady,
and now she's just an old lady.
(BULLET RICOCHETS)
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
Sit down!
You got a cute head. Let's try to keep it on your
shoulders as long as possible.
Come on, baby, you can make it.
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
All right, Harry,
just keep driving, okay?
Cookie!
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
MAN: Look out!
What happened?
Where'd it come from?
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Hey, Harry. You can slow
down now. They're gone.
What?
Well, look for yourself.
Didn't think The Princess
had it in her.
What do you think of her now?
Oh, old war trucks never die.
Don't like to admit you're wrong, do you?
No. It's been a problem
since childhood.
"Chased by
"hostiles.
"An additional $5,000."
Harry, what're you doing?
We have a deal.
True, but I'm re-negotiating.
Thought you said you had your reasons.
Just realized they weren't all that good.
Where do you think you're going?
I'm going to Azzar's compound.
And not with you.
You with your honor stuck up your wallet.
(LAUGHS)
You're right.
I was a little greedy.
2,500 will be enough.
(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)
Where is it?
Am I going the right way?
What do you think you're...
(EXCLAIMS)
HARRY: Just one of your everyday terrors
of the jungle, Cookie.
2,500.
And no more negotiations.
I'll take that under advisement.
Mr. Swali will be in charge of the
computer program for the election.
When Mr. Robaire arrives
with the computer element,
I will take it to the capital.
You will deliver it to Mr. Swali so he may
do what is necessary.
Ah, Major. You will have the Second
Battalion stand ready
to maintain order as soon as the election
results are flashed.
Yes, sir. Their positions
are already secure.
Very good.
The First and Third Battalion will
simultaneously crush
all pockets of political resistance.
Right, Colonel, no sweat.
You will see to it that
all frontiers are sealed.
No exiles will be getting away to plot
against me this time.
Yes, sir. What about the regular
army units, sir?
Will they oppose us?
Not if they think my rule is legal.
Gentlemen, carry out
your assignments.
Welcome, gentlemen.
You have come to pay your respects.
Colonel, we did not want to come.
We do not pay homage to you.
Careful.
My aide, Mr. Serrano, does not place much
value on your lives.
And you?
Ah.
For my friends,
I offer food and shelter.
My enemies are not deserving of my kindness.
Now which are you?
What do you want?
Information.
Now, where did Mrs. Mombassa
go after she left you?
Huh?
(Sighs)
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
We're going to find her anyway.
If you tell, it might
save your life.
Oh. (CLICKS TONGUE)
It is so foolish.
The lady truly is not
worth the sacrifice.
Pity. Take them away.
To be shot without trial,
in your usual fashion?
Of course not.
After the election there'll be atrial.
(LAUGHING)
How much longer, Harry?
Five, maybe six hours.
Take heart, Cookie. I figure the worst
is behind us.
(Sighs)
(BLOWS)
What the...
Harry? Hey, Harry.
Harry. Harry, wake up.
(BLOWS)
(GROANS)
Where are we?
Can't you tell?
The Holiday Inn.
(DOOR SLAMS)
We found this in your bag.
And you were taking it to Azzar.
I wasn't exactly taking it to Azzar.
Hmm. We have heard that Azzar had hired
a computer expert.
I wasn't expecting a woman until
you showed up.
Oh, no. You've got this all wrong.
Hmm. I think not.
Having this destroys
Azzar's plan.
My name is Jaime SOMMERS and I work
for the American O.S.I.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, come on, Jaime. Even I don't buy that one.
I was taking that to Azzar's compound
so I can exchange it
with the one that he's
getting from Zürich.
Lam very much on your side.
Look, you're only making it worse. Tell them what
they want to know...
Harry, will you please shut up!
Leona Mombassa can identify me.
That's a safe thing to say,
considering she's probably already dead.
JAIME: Oh, no.
That's something Azzar's
hirelings, uh, like you two,
would know and must pay for.
Cookie, I'm sorry I have to do this.
Now you just listen to me.
She fooled me. I didn't know who
she was working for.
Mr. Walker,
you are a mercenary.
You will be no great
loss to this world.
Will you please talk about this with me...
Miss SOMMERS,
save your breath.
Use it to better advantage.
Perhaps in prayer.
Organize a firing squad.
You've sure got some gall, Cookie.
Lecturing me about money when you've been in
Azzar's pocket all the time.
All right, so it's the case
of the pot and the kettle.
Man, if I ever get out of this, I’ll
sure turn to drink.
Harry, listen, there...
There is an outside chance that I can get
out of here alone.
Well, take it. I would.
It's time.
Present, hut!
They're really gonna shoot us.
This has... This'll cost you another 10,000.
Harry.
Ready,
aim...
LEONA: Duma!
Port arms.
What are you doing?
Leona?
Jaime?
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
I don't understand, Jaime. How did you go from
being a tennis pro
to being a secret agent?
(LAUGHS)
Well, that's a good one.
It started out with a parachute jump
and an accident.
I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to talk about it.
Oh, all right. Uh,
any love interests?
Oh, uh, no. Not really.
Nothing permanent anyway.
What's been happening
to you, Leona?
Ah. Well, as you know, I came back here
after graduation
and started teaching school.
I've been teaching school, too, finally.
Yeah?
Seventh grade in California.
Ah, well, I was an elementary circuit rider.
Five villages every day
over a 40 mile circle.
My word.
And I met and married
Kampa Mombassa.
He was 20 years older than I,
but I loved him and respected his work.
And together we fought Azzar
and we began to beat him
with words and ideas.
He fought back with bullets.
And Kampa was murdered,
and most of our tribe
was exterminated.
I know. I heard about
that. I'm very sorry.
When I saw what nearly happened to you today,
lam convinced
Azzar has already won.
Oh, no. Not yet.
Not if I can replace
his computer element
with this one.
No, no, no. I was... I was thinking of
something else.
Duma,
the man who almost had you shot,
was an anthropologist who wouldn't hurt a fly
a few years ago.
Azzar is winning because he is dragging
us down to his level
and teaching us to fight his way.
Oh, Jaime, there are
dozens of villages
like this, filled with teachers, students,
civil servants, technicians,
all trying to get out of the country.
But knowing they won't if Azzar wins.
I won't even try to make the frontier myself.
It would be too lonely in exile.
Jaime, I want to thank you for all
you have done, but...
We will take it from here.
Well, I really think I can do it better myself.
Why? Because you are white?
No... Blacks are tired of
depending on whites
to solve our problems.
We have been betrayed
too many times.
We don't need outside help anymore.
Leona, I'm not saying it
because I'm white.
I'm saying it because I have special
qualifications.
Uh...
Come here. Come here. I want to show
you something.
Now I want you to promise me that when you see
this, you will just forget it
as soon as you've seen it
and ask no questions.
Please?
I promise.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Now, if this chain was 10 times the size,
I could still break it.
But, Jamie, how did...
You promised.
Leona, trust me.
Yes, I promised.
I didn't see a thing.
Then if it's all right with you,
I will change my clothes
and go back to work.
Yes, of course.
It's too bad. I was almost starting to feel
feminine again. Come on.
(ENGINE STALLING)
Come on. Get in.
I'm taking your jeep. You'll give me
a guide, huh?
Oh, yes, of course.
Come on, Cookie.
Walker, forget it. I'm tired of
your money games,
your self-involvement,
and all of your cheap tricks.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
This one's on me.
Why?
I have my reasons.
Don't trust him, Jaime.
His kind have always hurt us.
They kill our animals,
exploit our land and people.
They are the takers who give back nothing.
Maybe that's my reason.
Maybe
I owe something instead of being owed.
Coming?
Yup.
Bye.
Bye.
Jaime, I would like you to have this
for luck.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Well, The Princess may be loyal, but
she's not very subtle.
She's noisy. We better
walk from now on.
Where's the compound?
Just over that hill.
HARRY: (WHISPERING)
- What now, Cookie?
JAIME: Well, I've gotta switch computer elements
with Azzar.
GUARD: Halt!
Down the hill.
Move along.
Harry, I want you to fall down.
Why?
We gonna have a debate
or you gonna fall?
(EXCLAIMS)
Get up!
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Good work.
Thank you.
He must've slipped or something
when you hit him.
Yeah, I guess so.
Shall we go?
JAIME: That must be the Swiss computer expert.
(SHUSHES)
Listen, do you think that you could distract
him long enough for me to get inside there?
Cookie, I... I don't
much like that idea.
Listen, I have something here.
It's a sort of...
A souvenir.
Harry, oh, remind me to give you a kiss
when we get out of here.
We've got to get close enough to him.
Uh, let me do it.
All right?
Listen, I used to be
a pro tennis player, so...
Well, Cookie, what's that
got to do with anything?
I've got a... I've got
a very strong arm.
(SIGHS)
Make it good. It's the only dart we've got.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(GRUNTS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(LAUGHING)
Here's a door.
Cookie, this is hopeless.
(SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION)
We're on the outside looking in.
Well, it's awfully rusty.
Perhaps we could...
It's rusty, but it's steel.
Well, I... Okay. Together.
We'll try it together.
One, two, three.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
We did it.
(LAUGHING IN SURPRISE)
Okay, thank you.
(SONAR BEEPING)
ROBAIRE: Programmed for the landslide results
you requested, Colonel.
(THANKING IN FRENCH)
AZZAR: Mr. Serrano and Mr. Hopper
have made arrangements
for your safe passage home.
My own technicians will replace the United
Nations element with mine.
The arrangements have already been made.
(GRUNTING)
(EXHALES)
We will leave for the capital in an hour.
But first, let us share some food, some wine
to celebrate my victory.
(DOOR CLOSING)
I think so.
What now?
Well, I'm pretty good with safes.
But are you fast?
(SONAR BEEPING)
Oh, my!
You're full of surprises,
aren't you?
Here it is.
Okay, let's get out of here.
Halt!
Stop them!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Come with me.
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
Thank God!
Apparently, they didn't get it open.
Good. Very good!
(LAUGHS)
(GUNFIRE)
This is it!
The honeymoon's over.
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
A-ha! All is not lost, Harry.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(EXCLAIMS)
Good work!
Why don't you slow down?
Hey, you know,
you owe me something.
Oh, Harry, please don't start
on this money thing again.
I'm not talking about money. I'm talking
about something else.
What?
That kiss you promised me.
Oh, well, you're gonna get it.
Leona, I don't know if I can get used to calling
you Madam President,
but it has a fantastic
ring to it.
Oh, yes, I know, and it's still ringing
in Mr. Azzar's ears.
He was all ready to make
his acceptance speech
when the real election
results were flashed.
And his mouth was hanging open
when the regular army
arrested him.
Well, it couldn't happen to a nicer man.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Jaime...
Well, all I can say is,
thank you, sister.
My pleasure.
Bye.
Bye.
May God rule with you.
And with you, my friend.
Bye-bye.
Harry Walker?
Close your mouth, Cookie,
or you’ll swallow all the flies.
You look fantastic.
I want you to know something, Cookie.
You see standing before you
a highly reformed character.
Waxed, cleaned, and polished.
Shaved, not yet, but soon.
And The Princess taken care of.
Lubricated and shining.
But what's more, I want you to know, I've decided
to make the...
Ultimate sacrifice.
I'm giving up the booze.
Really?
Harry, that's fantastic.
Listen, there's something I want you to know,
too, before I go,
and that's I'll never forget
what you did for me.
I'll never forget you.
Okay.
Good-bye, Cookie.
Bye.
Harry?
I'm gonna be thinking about you.
I'll be thinking of me, too.
The usual, Harry?
Water, on the rocks.
This one's on you, Cookie.
It's Azzar's throat-cutting
mercenaries got me worried.
We have to stop them.
Even if we have to kill them.
MAN: Look out!
We can move on the capital
and take over right now. No!
RASAN: Your safety is most important.
Go to the village of Adabba.
Run, Leona!
Now, that kind of coup cost me the presidential
chair once before.
MAN: Stop them!
Okay, come on.
Get the stuff out of there.
Good morning, madam.
I hate the silence here now.
Most of all, I miss the sound of children.
Leona, they'll return
when it's safe.
(EXCLAIMING)
Rasan!
Run, Leona!
We will hold them off
as long as we can.
Go to the village of Adabba.
We'll meet you there.
Now! Run!
(ARTILLERY FIRE)
All right. We take the
woman alive, if possible.
Now let's go.
MAN: Victor,
don't let him escape.
AZZAR: So you let her get away?
We're not even sure she was ever there.
Well, where else would she be?
All of the presidential candidates agreed
to return
to the neutrality of their own village until
the election was over.
Leona would not have
gone back on her word.
Colonel, why even bother
with the election?
We can move on the capital
and take over right now. No!
Now, that kind of coup cost me the presidential
chair once before.
I do not intend to make the same mistake twice.
Is that clear?
Now, I will tell you what
kind of harm she can do.
As Mombassa's widow,
she can be a strong
rallying point for my enemies.
What enemies?
What enemies have you got that the paratroop
regiment can't handle?
That's another error of judgment I've
made once before.
To be effective, a government
must seem to be legitimate.
It must appear to be truly representative
of the people's will.
Now, like the other candidates,
I have agreed to abide by
the rules of the election.
And since the UN shall supervise it,
no one can contest the rule of the winner.
Colonel, if you’re expecting to actually win
the votes of the people...
That is to say, sir,
your reputation isn't exactly endearing,
if you know what I mean.
Gentlemen,
I shall win.
And by an overwhelming majority.
Let me explain.
A voting machine will be placed in
each principal town,
wired to a computer directly to the capital.
Now, this computer will instantly tabulate
the voting progress.
Honest,
and apparently foolproof.
I suggest you think twice about that,
if you want to sit in the
president's chair again.
I said "apparently."
(CHUCKLES)
Day after tomorrow, a Monsieur Robaire
will come from Zürich
with a pre-programmed
computer element.
This element, inserted
in the display apparatus,
will flash the kind of election result
I want to see.
Then what's it matter if the Mombassa woman
gets away or not?
Because I want to consolidate my position
with no loose ends.
Nobody.
Nobody from the Mombassa family will be left
alive to cry fraud
or to start a resistant movement.
OSCAR ON RADIO: Jaime,
our Zurich agent reports
that Azzar is trying to fix
the voting tabulation.
You'll have to exchange an 08/ computer element
for the one Azzar is getting.
It will count the votes honestly.
When your old college chum, Leona Kantu,
went back home,
she married Zenda Mombassa,
leader of Azzar's opposition before
he was murdered.
We've made arrangements with a man named Jeff
Peters to take you upriver.
Uh, Jeff Peters?
Afraid not, but I wish I were.
They told me at the hotel
I might find him here.
Oh. Well, uh, you see
that man over there?
He might know.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hello. Do you know, uh, where I could
find Mr. Jeff Peters?
(SIGHS)
Is that a yes or a no?
What do you want him for?
Well, I had made arrangements to meet him
at the hotel this morning.
Arrangements have a way of getting screwed up in
this part of the world, Cookie.
What does that mean?
It means Jeff Peters' boat hit a mine in
the river yesterday.
I don’t think all the pieces are down
yet. Get my drift?
Oh, Lord.
Of course, it could've
been worse.
(Sighs)
Might've been me, too.
Jeff asked me to go along for the ride.
I figure a hangover saved my life.
Uh, listen, Mr...
Walker.
Walker.
But you can call me Harry.
I like attractive women
to call me Harry.
Harry,
do you know of anyone else with a boat who
can take me upriver?
You're out of luck. I've got the only
other one around here.
Well, then it looks like
I make a deal with you.
Forget it. I told you
what happened to Jeff.
Well, yes, but I...
Nothing you can say or do
is gonna get me off my butt, through that
door, and onto my boat.
$5,000.
You got a deal.
But not upriver.
We go overland.
How far up-country do you wanna go?
JAIME: Azzar's compound.
Uh, wait, wait.
Where are you going?
(LAUGHS)
I'm sorry, Cookie, I guess I wasn't
seeing too straight.
I never figured on Azzar's compound.
We made a deal.
Going upriver's impossible 'cause Azzar's mined it
with explosives.
And it ain't the journey
overland's got me sweating.
I mean, it's got your basic
man-eating wild animals
and your basic terrors of the jungle.
I go through that every day.
It's... it's Azzar's throat-cutting mercenaries
got me worried.
So, you see, our chances of making it ain't good.
And getting back?
(LAUGHS)
No way!
Harry, this partnership doesn't exactly have me
on my toes with joy either.
Now, if there was another way, believe me,
I would jump at it.
But seeing as how you're my only chance,
how does, uh,
another 2,500 sound?
How about another 5,000?
5,000 now,
5,000 when we get back.
I was afraid you were gonna say that.
(SNIFFS)
Let's go.
A white woman here is
trying to go up-country.
She's made a deal with Harry Walker.
They're going overland.
MAN: You know what to do.
Yes. I'll take care of it now.
It's done.
(LAUGHING)
(GRUNTS)
Well, how do you like it, huh?
Isn't it lovely?
Gorgeous.
This is my residence.
And, uh, over here.
This is my baby.
What is it?
Know what I call her?
The Princess.
How'd you know that?
Psychic.
Well, it looks more like a frog to me.
Now come on, Cookie, be fair.
You can say anything you like about me,
my friends, my family,
but when it comes to The Princess,
she's special.
She went all the way
through the Second World War.
And probably a few years
of the First.
I'm sorry. I...
Looks can be deceiving.
Come on, dame. What are you waiting for?
I'm coming.
(Sighs)
Yeah, she's real cute.
(ENGINE STALLING)
Are you sure this thing works?
A half-track doesn't
work, it runs.
This one runs, usually, but right now, this
minute, it ain't working.
(ENGINE CONTINUES STALLING)
Oh, Harry! Come on!
Come on.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(LAUGHS)
Very good!
(ENGINE SPUTTERS)
Well, that was a short trip.
(GROANS)
Look, I want to be fair.
You can forget about
the second 5,000.
Now wait a minute.
You trying to tell me
you can't fix that?
Sure, but not now,
not here, not alone.
To take that rod out, you have to
take off the track.
And to do that, I have to have a hoist
and the proper tools.
Well, I would think for $10,000 you would
at least try to fix it.
Oh, come on, Harry.
Why... Why are you doing that now?
Well, maybe I'm trying
to escape from something.
You're talking nonsense.
Where are you going?
To get a crowbar.
I'm humoring you.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(GRUNTING)
You see?
I told you it wouldn't work.
What the...
What...
Well.
How about that?
First, a hangover saves my life,
and now a shot of booze gives me the strength
of a bull elephant.
My luck must be changing.
Come on, Cookie,
let's go up-country.
(GRUNTING)
(CLATTERING)
Harry, how long do you think before we get into
dangerous territory?
Two, three hours ago.
Well, don't you think we ought to work out
some kind of a defense plan
or escape or something?
Hardly a chance of escape
if the natives want us.
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)
That is, if the elephants
don't get us first.
Listen, if you’re so sure we aren't
gonna get out of this,
why are you risking your life for a few
thousand dollars?
Cookie,
I've got my reasons.
How did Walker fix it?
We have to stop them.
Even if we have to kill them.
Oh, boy.
What's wrong?
Well, The Princess needs
a drink. She's boiling over.
(LAUGHS)
You thirsty?
Thirsty?
Yeah, thirsty.
(EXHALES IN FRUSTRATION)
I was wrong about my luck.
It's run out again.
Harry, why do you do that?
My liver.
For your liver. You know,
I have never met anybody
who makes so many excuses
for taking so many drinks,
for such lousy reasons.
Please,
have a little mercy.
Have a little water.
All right. Give me.
That's worth another 5,000.
You'll get used to it.
That's what they said
about Castor Oil.
(SONAR BEEPING)
Harry, somebody's coming.
You're hearing things.
Yeah? What's that?
Trouble! Come on!
Let's go!
(BULLET RICOCHETS)
(GUNFIRE)
Harry, can't we outrun them?
Don't think so. The Princess
has never been a fast lady,
and now she's just an old lady.
(BULLET RICOCHETS)
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
Sit down!
You got a cute head. Let's try to keep it on your
shoulders as long as possible.
Come on, baby, you can make it.
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
All right, Harry,
just keep driving, okay?
Cookie!
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
MAN: Look out!
What happened?
Where'd it come from?
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Hey, Harry. You can slow
down now. They're gone.
What?
Well, look for yourself.
Didn't think The Princess
had it in her.
What do you think of her now?
Oh, old war trucks never die.
Don't like to admit you're wrong, do you?
No. It's been a problem
since childhood.
"Chased by
"hostiles.
"An additional $5,000."
Harry, what're you doing?
We have a deal.
True, but I'm re-negotiating.
Thought you said you had your reasons.
Just realized they weren't all that good.
Where do you think you're going?
I'm going to Azzar's compound.
And not with you.
You with your honor stuck up your wallet.
(LAUGHS)
You're right.
I was a little greedy.
2,500 will be enough.
(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)
Where is it?
Am I going the right way?
What do you think you're...
(EXCLAIMS)
HARRY: Just one of your everyday terrors
of the jungle, Cookie.
2,500.
And no more negotiations.
I'll take that under advisement.
Mr. Swali will be in charge of the
computer program for the election.
When Mr. Robaire arrives
with the computer element,
I will take it to the capital.
You will deliver it to Mr. Swali so he may
do what is necessary.
Ah, Major. You will have the Second
Battalion stand ready
to maintain order as soon as the election
results are flashed.
Yes, sir. Their positions
are already secure.
Very good.
The First and Third Battalion will
simultaneously crush
all pockets of political resistance.
Right, Colonel, no sweat.
You will see to it that
all frontiers are sealed.
No exiles will be getting away to plot
against me this time.
Yes, sir. What about the regular
army units, sir?
Will they oppose us?
Not if they think my rule is legal.
Gentlemen, carry out
your assignments.
Welcome, gentlemen.
You have come to pay your respects.
Colonel, we did not want to come.
We do not pay homage to you.
Careful.
My aide, Mr. Serrano, does not place much
value on your lives.
And you?
Ah.
For my friends,
I offer food and shelter.
My enemies are not deserving of my kindness.
Now which are you?
What do you want?
Information.
Now, where did Mrs. Mombassa
go after she left you?
Huh?
(Sighs)
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
We're going to find her anyway.
If you tell, it might
save your life.
Oh. (CLICKS TONGUE)
It is so foolish.
The lady truly is not
worth the sacrifice.
Pity. Take them away.
To be shot without trial,
in your usual fashion?
Of course not.
After the election there'll be atrial.
(LAUGHING)
How much longer, Harry?
Five, maybe six hours.
Take heart, Cookie. I figure the worst
is behind us.
(Sighs)
(BLOWS)
What the...
Harry? Hey, Harry.
Harry. Harry, wake up.
(BLOWS)
(GROANS)
Where are we?
Can't you tell?
The Holiday Inn.
(DOOR SLAMS)
We found this in your bag.
And you were taking it to Azzar.
I wasn't exactly taking it to Azzar.
Hmm. We have heard that Azzar had hired
a computer expert.
I wasn't expecting a woman until
you showed up.
Oh, no. You've got this all wrong.
Hmm. I think not.
Having this destroys
Azzar's plan.
My name is Jaime SOMMERS and I work
for the American O.S.I.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, come on, Jaime. Even I don't buy that one.
I was taking that to Azzar's compound
so I can exchange it
with the one that he's
getting from Zürich.
Lam very much on your side.
Look, you're only making it worse. Tell them what
they want to know...
Harry, will you please shut up!
Leona Mombassa can identify me.
That's a safe thing to say,
considering she's probably already dead.
JAIME: Oh, no.
That's something Azzar's
hirelings, uh, like you two,
would know and must pay for.
Cookie, I'm sorry I have to do this.
Now you just listen to me.
She fooled me. I didn't know who
she was working for.
Mr. Walker,
you are a mercenary.
You will be no great
loss to this world.
Will you please talk about this with me...
Miss SOMMERS,
save your breath.
Use it to better advantage.
Perhaps in prayer.
Organize a firing squad.
You've sure got some gall, Cookie.
Lecturing me about money when you've been in
Azzar's pocket all the time.
All right, so it's the case
of the pot and the kettle.
Man, if I ever get out of this, I’ll
sure turn to drink.
Harry, listen, there...
There is an outside chance that I can get
out of here alone.
Well, take it. I would.
It's time.
Present, hut!
They're really gonna shoot us.
This has... This'll cost you another 10,000.
Harry.
Ready,
aim...
LEONA: Duma!
Port arms.
What are you doing?
Leona?
Jaime?
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
I don't understand, Jaime. How did you go from
being a tennis pro
to being a secret agent?
(LAUGHS)
Well, that's a good one.
It started out with a parachute jump
and an accident.
I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to talk about it.
Oh, all right. Uh,
any love interests?
Oh, uh, no. Not really.
Nothing permanent anyway.
What's been happening
to you, Leona?
Ah. Well, as you know, I came back here
after graduation
and started teaching school.
I've been teaching school, too, finally.
Yeah?
Seventh grade in California.
Ah, well, I was an elementary circuit rider.
Five villages every day
over a 40 mile circle.
My word.
And I met and married
Kampa Mombassa.
He was 20 years older than I,
but I loved him and respected his work.
And together we fought Azzar
and we began to beat him
with words and ideas.
He fought back with bullets.
And Kampa was murdered,
and most of our tribe
was exterminated.
I know. I heard about
that. I'm very sorry.
When I saw what nearly happened to you today,
lam convinced
Azzar has already won.
Oh, no. Not yet.
Not if I can replace
his computer element
with this one.
No, no, no. I was... I was thinking of
something else.
Duma,
the man who almost had you shot,
was an anthropologist who wouldn't hurt a fly
a few years ago.
Azzar is winning because he is dragging
us down to his level
and teaching us to fight his way.
Oh, Jaime, there are
dozens of villages
like this, filled with teachers, students,
civil servants, technicians,
all trying to get out of the country.
But knowing they won't if Azzar wins.
I won't even try to make the frontier myself.
It would be too lonely in exile.
Jaime, I want to thank you for all
you have done, but...
We will take it from here.
Well, I really think I can do it better myself.
Why? Because you are white?
No... Blacks are tired of
depending on whites
to solve our problems.
We have been betrayed
too many times.
We don't need outside help anymore.
Leona, I'm not saying it
because I'm white.
I'm saying it because I have special
qualifications.
Uh...
Come here. Come here. I want to show
you something.
Now I want you to promise me that when you see
this, you will just forget it
as soon as you've seen it
and ask no questions.
Please?
I promise.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Now, if this chain was 10 times the size,
I could still break it.
But, Jamie, how did...
You promised.
Leona, trust me.
Yes, I promised.
I didn't see a thing.
Then if it's all right with you,
I will change my clothes
and go back to work.
Yes, of course.
It's too bad. I was almost starting to feel
feminine again. Come on.
(ENGINE STALLING)
Come on. Get in.
I'm taking your jeep. You'll give me
a guide, huh?
Oh, yes, of course.
Come on, Cookie.
Walker, forget it. I'm tired of
your money games,
your self-involvement,
and all of your cheap tricks.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
This one's on me.
Why?
I have my reasons.
Don't trust him, Jaime.
His kind have always hurt us.
They kill our animals,
exploit our land and people.
They are the takers who give back nothing.
Maybe that's my reason.
Maybe
I owe something instead of being owed.
Coming?
Yup.
Bye.
Bye.
Jaime, I would like you to have this
for luck.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Well, The Princess may be loyal, but
she's not very subtle.
She's noisy. We better
walk from now on.
Where's the compound?
Just over that hill.
HARRY: (WHISPERING)
- What now, Cookie?
JAIME: Well, I've gotta switch computer elements
with Azzar.
GUARD: Halt!
Down the hill.
Move along.
Harry, I want you to fall down.
Why?
We gonna have a debate
or you gonna fall?
(EXCLAIMS)
Get up!
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
Good work.
Thank you.
He must've slipped or something
when you hit him.
Yeah, I guess so.
Shall we go?
JAIME: That must be the Swiss computer expert.
(SHUSHES)
Listen, do you think that you could distract
him long enough for me to get inside there?
Cookie, I... I don't
much like that idea.
Listen, I have something here.
It's a sort of...
A souvenir.
Harry, oh, remind me to give you a kiss
when we get out of here.
We've got to get close enough to him.
Uh, let me do it.
All right?
Listen, I used to be
a pro tennis player, so...
Well, Cookie, what's that
got to do with anything?
I've got a... I've got
a very strong arm.
(SIGHS)
Make it good. It's the only dart we've got.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(GRUNTS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(LAUGHING)
Here's a door.
Cookie, this is hopeless.
(SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION)
We're on the outside looking in.
Well, it's awfully rusty.
Perhaps we could...
It's rusty, but it's steel.
Well, I... Okay. Together.
We'll try it together.
One, two, three.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
We did it.
(LAUGHING IN SURPRISE)
Okay, thank you.
(SONAR BEEPING)
ROBAIRE: Programmed for the landslide results
you requested, Colonel.
(THANKING IN FRENCH)
AZZAR: Mr. Serrano and Mr. Hopper
have made arrangements
for your safe passage home.
My own technicians will replace the United
Nations element with mine.
The arrangements have already been made.
(GRUNTING)
(EXHALES)
We will leave for the capital in an hour.
But first, let us share some food, some wine
to celebrate my victory.
(DOOR CLOSING)
I think so.
What now?
Well, I'm pretty good with safes.
But are you fast?
(SONAR BEEPING)
Oh, my!
You're full of surprises,
aren't you?
Here it is.
Okay, let's get out of here.
Halt!
Stop them!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Come with me.
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
Thank God!
Apparently, they didn't get it open.
Good. Very good!
(LAUGHS)
(GUNFIRE)
This is it!
The honeymoon's over.
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
A-ha! All is not lost, Harry.
(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(EXCLAIMS)
Good work!
Why don't you slow down?
Hey, you know,
you owe me something.
Oh, Harry, please don't start
on this money thing again.
I'm not talking about money. I'm talking
about something else.
What?
That kiss you promised me.
Oh, well, you're gonna get it.
Leona, I don't know if I can get used to calling
you Madam President,
but it has a fantastic
ring to it.
Oh, yes, I know, and it's still ringing
in Mr. Azzar's ears.
He was all ready to make
his acceptance speech
when the real election
results were flashed.
And his mouth was hanging open
when the regular army
arrested him.
Well, it couldn't happen to a nicer man.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Jaime...
Well, all I can say is,
thank you, sister.
My pleasure.
Bye.
Bye.
May God rule with you.
And with you, my friend.
Bye-bye.
Harry Walker?
Close your mouth, Cookie,
or you’ll swallow all the flies.
You look fantastic.
I want you to know something, Cookie.
You see standing before you
a highly reformed character.
Waxed, cleaned, and polished.
Shaved, not yet, but soon.
And The Princess taken care of.
Lubricated and shining.
But what's more, I want you to know, I've decided
to make the...
Ultimate sacrifice.
I'm giving up the booze.
Really?
Harry, that's fantastic.
Listen, there's something I want you to know,
too, before I go,
and that's I'll never forget
what you did for me.
I'll never forget you.
Okay.
Good-bye, Cookie.
Bye.
Harry?
I'm gonna be thinking about you.
I'll be thinking of me, too.
The usual, Harry?
Water, on the rocks.
This one's on you, Cookie.