The Bionic Woman (1976–1978): Season 2, Episode 4 - Road to Nashville - full transcript

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Country fans, it's my pleasure
to introduce at this time

a man who's made an unbelievable comeback

in the last couple of years.

Here he is, your dean
of country music

the one and only Big Buck Buckley.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(SINGING UPBEAT SONG)

(SONG CONTINUES ON RADIO)

Switchboard, this is a code seven scramble
call to Oscar Goldman.



(PHONE RINGING)

Hello. Put him on.

Hello, Bill.

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

Bill?
Bill, are you there?

(GROUP SINGING)

Okay. Hold on. Hold on.
Wait. Wait. Wait.

Someone is not singing
and if we don't all sing,

we're not gonna win the school
talent contest.

Right, Pam?

Well, we're not gonna win
with her help.

Patty. PAM: She's right,
Miss SOMMERS.

I can't sing.

Well, honey, how do you know
if you don't try?



I'm tone deaf.

Oh.

Well, that really isn't what's the most
important thing though.

You know, I mean, if you sing, so you're
contribute your energy,

and then we all have fun and then it sounds great.
Right?

Okay?

ALL: Yeah.

(EXCLAIMS IN DESPAIR)

Uh, come on now. This is everybody's
song. Okay?

I want everybody to sing. And I want you to
lighten up and let's have some fun.

Okay? From the top of the chorus again.
One, two.

(CONTINUE SINGING)

(SINGING OFF-KEY)

Okay.

Pretty bad, huh?

(STAMMERING)
No, I mean it wasn't...

Maybe I could play the tambourine?

That's a great idea. You should play
the tambourine.

Okay.

(ALL LAUGHING)

All right, I'm gonna
be right back, okay?

On second thought,

if I am not back in 10 minutes,

go ahead and finish your...
What?

Your algebra homework, okay?

And, uh, just wait for the bell.

And, Patty, you're in charge.

Oscar.
Hello, Jaime.

Hi, Oscar. Listen, whatever it is, can't it
wait for another week?

I mean, the kids are getting ready for
their school talent contest,

and if they have to go in there with
a substitute teacher...

Uh, excuse me, but it don't sound to me like
there's much left to be done.

I mean, those kids sing pretty good.

Um, most of them, anyway.

You hear that? Now that's a man that
really ought to know.

He's a top pro in country music.

Jaime SOMMERS, I want you to meet Muffin
Calhoon, my old friend.

Howdy! Mighty nice to know you.

How do you do?

He's going to be your ticket
to Nashville.

Nashville?

Nashville?

All right. So you and Oscar were in Intelligence
together during Korea?

Yeah, that's right.

Only I had the intelligence
to get out of this racket after the war.

Hey, can I help you?

No, lady, I can handle it.
Oh, come on, let me help.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Uh, thanks a lot, lady.

Doggone it, if I'd... If I'd known you were
that strong,

I'd let you carry your own bag.

I'm not in this revolution
business, you know.

Okay, let me get this straight now.

Someone is passing top secret information
to a contact in Nashville?

You got it.

Trouble is we don't know
who the contact is,

or what he does with the information.

Once he gets it,
it just disappears.

Well, so we're at a dead end, right?

Well, not quite.

You see, one of Oscar's men

did get a clue before he got lost.

He seemed to think this whole thing has something
to do with Buck Buckley.

The Buck Buckley?

One and the same.

And I guess that's where I come
into this whole thing

because, you know, Buck and I
grew up together.

Fact, I used to play
guitar in his band.

But, you know, I just can't seem
to think that

Buck's got anything to do with espionage,

I mean, he's a real patriot.

And he's a good friend, too.

That's one of the reasons
I'm on this

is because I want to help prove
Buck's innocence,

just as much as I do to help Oscar.

Okay. So you don't think we'll have any trouble
getting in to see him, right?

See him? (SCOFFS)

We're gonna be staying with him.

Ol' Buck Buckley never forgets a friend.

Are you Mr. Calhoon?

Well I was when I woke up
this mornin'.

I'm Penn Mathers.

I'm supposed to take you and your guest
to Mr. Buckley's spread.

All right.
I'll take those bags.

The car's right out here.
Thank you.

After you.

Ol' Buck never was the modest type.

He's waiting for you
around back. Come on.

This way.

(MUFFIN EXCLAIMS)

MUFFIN: Man, this is some
kind of spread here.

Certainly is.

Hey, isn't that the ol' recording studio
down there?

Yep. His producer, Tammy Dalton, had it moved in
here when they built the house.

Couldn't get the same acoustics
in a new studio.

Yeah, Tammy always was one for details.

She never did sing too good.

But it looks like she's doing all right

in the producer end of this thing.

Well, she and Mr. Buckley
make a good team.

Six gold albums in two years.

Muffin! Muffin Calhoon,
you ol' hound dog.

Buck, you old son of a gun,
how are you doin', man?

It's good to see you.
You looking good.

It's good to see you!

Nashville ain't been
the same without you.

Well, Buck, I'm gonna tell you,
I missed it,

and I missed you, too.

Putting on a little weight
there, kid.

Yeah, I'm carrying a little.

Hey, I want to introduce you to
Miss Jody-Lee SOMMERS.

She's a good friend of mine.

And a mighty pretty one, too.
How you doing, darling?

I'm just fine, Mr. Buckley.
Thank you.

Your house is fantastic!

Well, call me Buck. And you're welcome
here any time.

Thank you.
Hey, Buck,

I see you even got the old studio down there.
That's it.

Man, we used to have a ball in that place,
didn't we?

Yep. Listen, is it okay
if we look inside?

Why sure! Come on. Tammy and the boys
are down there

cutting a track for my new album.
Mr. Buckley.

What's up, Penn?

The studio may not be a good idea.

Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.
Daggum it.

Rules are rules, you know.

Why, what's the matter, Buck?
Something wrong here?

Well, no, nothing's wrong, man.
We just got a new policy.

We don't allow people in the studio unless
they're on company business.

It'll probably be okay for you to come in,
Muffin, but...

Well, I'm sorry, Jody-Lee.

Well, wait, wait, wait just a minute
here, Buck. Hold on.

Doggone it now.

I mean, that's what I brought Jody-Lee
out here for,

so you can get her in the studio
and listen to her sing.

I mean, she's really
something else.

Pacific Records wanted to sign her up
but I said,

"No way, man. I'm gonna take her
on out to Nashville,

"let my old buddy's company
have first shot at her."

Is that right, Jody-Lee?
Can you sing?

That's what some people say.

Well, I think it'll be all right
this time, Penn.

All right.

Come on.

Is the drawbridge down?

Yes, sir.

Drawbridge?

Yeah, Tammy had a security system
designed for the place

so that no more music thieves get in here
and steal my songs.

Yeah, you mean like the Country Opera?

Yeah, we don't want it
to happen again.

What kind of a security system
is this?

Well, we just walked through an electric eye beam
fence there, 10 feet high.

Triggers alarms all over the estate.

And, if anybody gets
through that,

the door here is equipped with
knockout gas.

MUFFIN: Good timing. - They'll be listening
to a playback now.

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(RAPID BEEPING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

I'm gonna need some more top
on Slim's mandolin.

Hi, honey. Just give me a minute to re-record
this track, okay?

In here, I let her be boss.

(LAUGHS)

Okay, fellas, let's take it from
the top of the break.

MAN: Tape's rolling, speed.

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(RAPID BEEPING)

Okay. Bring it up.
Bring it up two.

(RAPID BEEPING)

(RAPID BEEPING)

Okay, fellas, you can take five.
We'll do the trio next.

This is the lady who made it all happen.

Hi, Muffin.

Hi, there, Tammy.
Say, you're lookin' good.

Even better than I remembered you.
And that was real good.

Uh, Tammy, I'd like to introduce you
to Miss Jody-Lee SOMMERS.

Hi, there.

How do you do?

Mr. Calhoon says she's a singer.

Jody-Lee's gonna audition for us.

Muffin tells me Pacific Records
wants her real bad.

Oh, well, in that case, since we've got
the boys here,

why don't we let her have a go
at it right now?

Listen, don't you know
anything else?

Hey, man, you're the one that got me into this
in the first place.

We'll get by. Now just relax
and have a ball.

Muffin, Jody-Lee,
ready when you are.

All right, now, let's get up there
and sing.

Put it on 'em.

Boys, you ready?

MAN 1: Oh, yeah.
- Let's do it!

MAN 2: Let's get it on.
- MAN 3: All right.

Okay, here we go. And one, two,
three, four, one.

(PLAYING COUNTRY MUSIC)

(SINGING SOOTHING SONG)

(INAUDIBLE)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

TAMMY: I never agreed to murder.

We can let him go just as soon
as this is all over.

He knows too much.

Besides, the O.S.I. is going to wonder
what happened to him.

Well, do something.

Sell him for interrogation.

Maybe.

(CONTINUES SINGING)

(WHOOPING)

All right!

So good.

She's not bad for a greenhorn, huh?

Really good singing. What label was that
wanted you?

That was Pacific, Buck.
Pacific Records.

Well, we'll have to see about that.

Jody-Lee, I think there's a real future for you
in this business.

JAIME: Well, I'm...
I'm confused, you know.

Oh, I mean, I've got all
the contract offers coming in

and I've got all the attention.

I just need some down-home advice

as to how to get it going.

I mean, how did you do it?

It was Tammy.

Tammy? She's only been
with you for two years.

Yeah, I guess I did okay
on my own.

But after a while there was nobody
to write songs for.

My music got old, stale.

I was on my way down
and I didn't really care.

Hey, what was that about a Country Opera
or something?

(SIGHS)

Listen, that was the one thing that could've
pulled me out of my slump.

I put two years of my life into it,

then I lost it all overnight.

How?

The night before we were supposed to go into
the studio and record it,

somebody broke in and stole everything.

Two months later it came out as
a Rock Opera.

Well you could sue for that, couldn't you?

No, we checked it out.

They changed just enough of it
so that our hands were tied.

But it was mine.

And that's when I started drinking.

Tammy found me in a flophouse
guzzlin' hair tonic.

Rock bottom.

I'm sorry, Buck. You know,
I didn't mean to pry.

I'm always sticking my foot in my mouth.

Hey, nothing to be sorry about.

As a matter of fact, that's when things
started getting better.

She gave me someone to write songs for.

Somehow she got the money,
produced an album,

and six months later we were number one
on the charts.

That is what I call a very romantic
American success story.

(LAUGHS)

Well, I guess it is. But it's the truth,
and I owe it all to Tammy.

I guess that's my down-home advice,
Jody-Lee.

Find somebody to help you over
the rough spots.

Somebody to care for.
And...

Yes?

You forget about Pacific Records.
Buckley's a better label.

(LAUGHS)

JAIME: I don't know what to think, Oscar.

My instincts tell me
that Buck isn't involved.

All I know is that I heard Penn and Tammy
talking about the O.S.I.

And it sounded to me like
they're holding your agent.

Bill Womullun. Where?

I don't know. But if it's anywhere,
they've got to be holding him

in that recording studio because the security's
incredible!

Have you got his picture, Jaime?

Yeah, I've got it here.

Oscar, I've got to tell you,

this poor guy, if you sent him in here
looking like this,

it's no wonder he got caught.
He looks just like you.

But that's an OS!
Requirement, Jaime.

We all look alike.

No, don't worry.
It was an old picture.

He was as country as an ear of corn
when we sent him out.

Oh, oh, oh, okay,
there's one more thing.

Now, I heard a beeping sound
while they were recording.

Now, it was very high pitched,
even for me.

Well, maybe it was your bionic ear reacting to
the studio electronics.

Oh, no. It had a definite pattern to it.
It was like a code.

Hmm.

Maybe that's what Bill found out
before he disappeared.

Well, we'll see. I'm gonna go back in there
tonight and find out.

All right, Jaime,

but be careful.

I don't want to lose
a rising star.

Goodbye, Oscar.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

JAIME: Womullun? Bill?

Bill?

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Here's the one they did today.

This looked so easy this afternoon.

Okay. Now what?

Power.

Earphones. Okay.

(COUNTRY SONG PLAYING)

(RAPID BEEPING)

It is a code.
It's a high frequency code.

What're you doin' in here?

Well, I guess you already know the answer to that,
don't you?

I ought to tear you limb from limb.

Coming in here with my old friend
and using us.

Trying to get your grubby hands
on my music.

Who do you work for? Same people who stole my
music the last time, don't you?

Punk kids in leather pants, trying to turn it
into rock 'n' roll.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

You think I came here
to steal your music?

Don't play dumb with me.
Why else would you be here?

(SiGHS)

I'm here because the 08! sent me here.

The 08!?
"Jaime SOMMERS."

What do you want with me?
I haven't done anything.

Well, maybe not. But somebody who
works with you has.

And I think you'd better
listen to something.

(RAPID BEEPING)

The codes have been transferred onto every
one of your records.

They're too high to hear

unless you slow the tape or the record
down to this speed.

And these codes are stolen information?

Top secret.

All an enemy agent has to do is to walk
into any record store,

buy one of your records, and there's nothing
our guys can do about it.

Who did this?

Penn and...
I knew it!

I knew it! There's always been
something wrong with that man.

Like he's been hiding things from us.

Tammy never caught it but I did.

Something wrong.

Anybody else?

Uh, yes.

Well, come on.
Who is it?

Tammy.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
No, I don't believe it.

Sorry, Buck, it's true.

I don't believe it.
She wouldn't do that.

Tammy?

No, I don't believe it.

Look, do you see this?

Tammy game me this the week after she got me
out of that hotel

and sobered me up.

It's a little tin star, a little sheriff's badge,
like kids wear.

She said, "That's what you are,
Buck. A star."

And she was right.

And I love her for that.

I love her.

Oh, Buck, I'm sorry.

No!

I'm gonna have to call
Washington now, Buck.

Put it down, Jaime.

No, wait.

Call Tammy up at the house
and ask her to come down here.

No matter what her reasons
were for doing this,

I'm gonna stand by her
like she stood by me.

(MUFFIN SIGHS)

I don't know.

One minute I'm upstairs,
snoozing away,

and the next minute, I'm being hauled
down here

by a couple of my ol' buddy's guards.

I'm gonna tell you, sweetheart,

you sure know how to make enemies
out of friends.

Don't rub it in, all right?

I don't know. I just can't understand
how ol' Buck could be

behind something like this.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Tammy, don't you see
how dangerous this is?

Why did you do it?

TAMMY: I did it for you!

For me?
How can you say that?

No one would take you, Buck.

When I found you and got you started again,
no one would take you.

They all said you were a drunk.

Said you couldn't write music anymore.

Well, they were wrong.

I knew it but they wouldn't
give me the cash to prove it.

I couldn't get the money!

Where did you get the $100,000 to do
the first album, then?

PENN: I gave it to her, Buck.

I believed in you, too.

You?

PENN: In exchange for a few favors.

BUCK: Yeah, treason.

Oh, come on, Buck. The United States
hasn't crumbled.

PENN: The flag's colors
are still the same.

These kind of things
go on all the time.

Yeah, well, not where
I come from, buddy.

Buck, I'm sorry.

I did it for us, honey.

I didn't think it'd come to this.

TAMMY: Look, this is the last record
we have to do for him.

Penn promised me.

PENN: Only it won't
be a record.

How can you be listening to something that you
can't even hear?

(STAMMERING)
I read lips.

PENN: The OS!
Is getting too close.

We've got to get the code out tonight.

All of the information we've sent out
in the last two years

won't make any sense
without the final data.

It's the key to the entire operation.

We can't wait any longer.

Why don't you use the telephone
and leave us out of it?

PENN:
It's too high pitched.

A telephone doesn't have the fidelity.
And it's traceable.

The radio's a better way.

The radio?

BUCK: You mean the music-house broadcast?

I'm installing an ultrasonic playback
unit in your guitar.

Oh, I don't like it.

Look, let's hear him out,
honey, okay?

When you play it on the radio tonight,

the code will come through the music.

It won't have the same fidelity
as a record,

but I figure 80%
should come through.

What about them? What are you gonna do?
Kill 'em?

Of course not.

The people I work for have drugs

that can make them forget everything
about this place.

They'll show up in a month or two
without their memory.

That's all.

I promise.

Look, Buck, it's the last thing
we got to do for him.

Then we're free.

Please, Buck. Do it.

Trust me, honey.

You know I will, baby.

Good, Buck.

Why don't you get down to the music-house
and get ready for the show?

We'll come along later,

after I cable my contacts.

Yeah, you go on.

Muffin, we've got to
get out of here.

Well, you tell me how and I'll be
right behind you.

Tell you, I'm as squirmy as
a snake in a frying pan.

How fast can you make it to that door?

The door?

Hey, those boys over there
got real guns.

Count me out of this one.

Come on. It's better than sitting around here
waiting for them to get rid of us.

Listen, they're just as tired as we are.
We could surprise 'em.

Yeah, well, how about those gas jets on that door
over there. You know, Buck...

Buck just walked out the door,

which means the security system
is off.

Now are you gonna do it?

Okay.

Okay. You ready?

Am I what?

Go!

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Muffin, come on!

Penn!

Take 'em to the control room.
And get the other agent, Womullun.

Might as well take care
of all of 'em at once.

That's good. Now put her arms up
on that console control.

That way it looks like they were fiddlin'
with the equipment.

It's all set. They announced Buck's special
performance on the radio about an hour ago.

Did you give 'em the drug?

What drug?

The one to make them forget.

You didn't think I was serious about that
now, did you?

Penn, that's murder.

Now you promised me...

Sometimes I make promises
I can't keep.

All right, boys,
you know what to do.

Overload the console
and get out fast.

The fire's gonna destroy
more than the tapes and them.

I won't do it. And Buck won't do it.
When he finds out that...

He doesn't have to know.

Look, Tammy, these people can send
Buck to prison.

(SiGHS)

He's up to his neck.

Do you want to ruin his career?
Ruin his life?

Ruin everything you ever built
for him?

No!

It's the only way.

(SiGHS)

Make sure they can't get out.

I'll meet you at the music-house.

Get yourself dressed
for the show.

Go on.

Move!

Get out of here.
I'm right behind you.

Something wrong, honey?

Well, look, I understand why you did it,
and I still love you.

Oh, I know, Buck.

Okay, Buck, it's all set.

The tape's inside.

All you have to do is turn on the guitar
and strum.

And this is the last time?

I haven't lied to you yet, Buck.

(MUFFIN COUGHING)

Muffin? Muffin?

Yeah.

Are you all right?
I'm okay.

Jaime, my God, it's Womullun.

He's alive. Get him out of here!
Come on!

Let me take him! Come on!
Open the door!

Open the door!

(COUGHING)
Come on.

I can't! It's locked!

JAIME: Come hold him for a second!
Come on!

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

The heat must be getting to me.

Come on!

(COUGHING)

Wait a minute. Hold on.
Hold it. Hold it.

Can you hold him for a second?

I got him.
I got him.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(ELECTRIC BUZZING)

Please work.

Come on, Muffin, the gas is off.

(ALL COUGHING)

Womullun?

Are you all right?
Yeah. Where... Where?

WOMULLUN: Who are you?

I'm Jaime SOMMERS, and the guy in the pajamas
here is Muffin Calhoon.

We're from the O.S.I.

I thought Oscar had given up on me.

(c0UGHS)
The code.

Oh, they're sending it out
over the radio tonight.

Muffin, we've got to get
to the music-house.

Right. (c0UGHS)

Well, Buck's got to have
a spare car I can hotwire.

Come on.
Let's get out of here.

ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

country music lovers
all over the world,

it's broadcast time in Nashville!

Welcome to the world famous
Country Land Music-House.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

Oh, the show's started already!

MUFFIN: Don't worry, honey. - This ol' country boy
knows all the shortcuts.

Hold on!
Here we go!

The Red Mountain Boys!
Aren't they wonderful?

And now we have a very special treat
for you.

The moment we've all
been waiting for.

Here to sing all the hits from his
new, unreleased album.

Oh, we're not gonna make it!

All of you listeners
know and love.

The original, the one and only
dean of country music,

Big Buck Buckley!

No, Buck!
Don't do it!

He left Muffin and Jaime in the studio.
He's burning it down.

Oh, Penn murdered them,
honey, and he lied to me.

Muffin and Jody-Lee?

It was for your own good.

I'm calling the police.

Buck!

Get back out there.

No, Buck. Don't.

We just can't let him
run our lives like this.

I'll kill her.

It doesn't matter anymore.

Buck!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Shut up!

(SINGING UPBEAT SONG)

(SONG CONTINUES ON RADIO)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(RAPID BEEPING)

Dang! They started the code already.

How in the devil can you tell?

Oh, forget I asked.

(BRAKES SQUEAL)

Hold it!

Now raise your hands
over your heads.

Back up nice and easy.

That's far enough.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Stop right there.

Keep playin', Buck.

(CONTINUES SINGING)

Put the gun down, Penn.

I'll shoot her, SOMMERS.

Boy, you're full of surprises.

Yeah, just chalk one up
for the ol' Muffin.

All right, Penn, let's get out of here.
Come on.

(CRYING)
Oh, Buck.

It's okay, honey.
It's okay.

Oh, Buck, I'm sorry.

It's all over.

Thanks, Jody-Lee.

Jaime.

ALL: (CHANTING) - We want Buck.
We want Buck.

We want Buck.
We want Buck.

I guess you'd better get out there
and sing something.

Oh, no, I'm not leaving you.

Oh, you're gonna have to, honey.

Why?

Prison, Buck.

It's all right though, honey.

You know, for the first time in almost two whole
years, I feel really free.

ALL: (CHANTING)
- We want Buck.

ANNOUNCER: Big Buck will be back
in just a second, folks.

Just a small technical problem.

We'll have it straightened out
right away.

Sing it for them.

Please.

Sing it for me.

Well, I'm gonna need some help.

(SOBBING)
Oh, Buck.

Come on.

Well, Buck, just so long
as you don't ask me to sing

'cause you know I ain't no singer.

Come on.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

This is Tammy Dalton.

I think you all know
that I love her.

(SINGING UPBEAT SONG)

(SINGING TOGETHER)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Will you be at Tammy
and Buck's hearing?

You'll get a full report
but it won't be good.

The charges are serious, Jaime.

I know that. I think they’ll just be
so glad to get it over with.

You know, they'll be relieved.
Going to prison?

Well, Tammy said to me that

this is the first time she's felt really free
in the last two years.

They're strong people.

I think they'll make it.

You got that, Patty?
Uh-huh.

Okay, grab hold now and don't lose it.

Oh, hi, there.

Come on in.

All right, kids, now this next number
we're gonna do here

It's mighty important to a good friend
of mine about now.

As a matter of fact,
he wrote it.

Now if you all know the words,
just sing along.

MUFFIN: Even you, Pam.

(ALL LAUGHING)

A one, two, three.

(SINGING UPBEAT SONG)

That's Buck Buckley's song.

(SINGING OFF-KEY)

(ALL SINGING TOGETHER)

All right!