The Bionic Woman (1976–1978): Season 2, Episode 2 - In This Corner, Jaime Sommers - full transcript

(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS)

MARY MADDOX: Come on.
Move in on him.

Head him off!

Cut him off at the ring.

Going somewhere,
Mr. Haley?

JAIME SOMMERS: So, how long has it been since
you've heard from him?

Three days. Wayne Haley was one
of our most reliable agents.

Something must've
happened to him.

Well, have you any leads at all?

That is why you're here, my dear.
Oh-oh.

Ah-ha! Mr. Goldman, there you are.
Dr. Brandes.



Do you know what time it is?
I'm terribly sorry, Doctor.

Something very important came up. I'll be with you
in just a few moments.

My work is always
important to me.

I will be in my laboratory
when you finally find time.

Come, my little watchdogs.

Oh, isn't Mary Sunshine out there.
Mmm.

And with two bodyguards,
inside the O.S.I.?

She must be an awfully
important lady.

Dr. Brandes defected to the United
States last year to work with us.

Her contribution to the Delta Satellite
Project has been enormous.

Hmm.

Okay, what is my contribution going to be
to the Wayne Haley project?

I want you to find him.
(SIGHING) Okay.

Haley's last message was that he was
onto something big,



but he disappeared before we could find out
just exactly what it was.

Now, this is all
we have to go on.

"818 Vermont Avenue, South West,
Washington, DC."

That's an awfully seedy area
of Washington, isn't it?

Well, it's not
exactly Georgetown.

Well, what is this address?
It's a sports arena

that specializes in, uh...

Uh...
In what?

Lady wrestling.

(LAUGHING) Lady wrestling?
Are you kidding?

You're not kidding.

Oh, Oscar, are you
out of your mind?

But you don't see... I can't go
into a place like...

You don't have to stay there
for very long.

I won't have to stay there
at all, Oscar.

You know howl feel
about violence and fighting

when it isn't
absolutely necessary.

I mean, I feel terrible
if I have to swat a fly,

and you want me to get in the ring
with one of those crazy women?

But you may not even have to get into
the ring, Jaime. Oh, come on now.

You have to admit
there's a possibility.

Maybe you could pass yourself off as a water boy.
Or an apprentice, or...

Oscar, give me a break, would you? Now,
I don't know anything about wrestling.

I'm not going there to make a fool out of myself,
first of all.

And what if I... What if I hurt one of
those girls. Well, now, think about that.

I mean, if I had to go
in the ring and I hurt

some... One of those
poor, unsuspecting women,

I would feel terrible... Poor, unsuspecting women?
Now wait a minute!

Jaime, those poor,
unsuspecting women

can take very good care
of themselves.

Now, you remember that. You can also
control yourself, too.

No. I've never said no
to you before.

Uh-uh. Jaime,
listen to me.

Wayne Haley has disappeared trying to tell us
something important.

Now, you're the only female O.S.I.agent
that can handle this case.

I don't suppose you'd consider putting
Steve in a dress, huh?

I didn't think so.

Ugh. Lady wrestling.

(SIGHING)

(MOUTHING WORDS)

Mad Mary, Amazon April,

and The Spider Lady?

Oh, boy!

Average girls next door,
calls for a stick of gum.

(MEOWING)
(GASPING)

(DISTANT SCREAMING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)
(LOUDER SCREAM)

(DISTANT FIGHTING SOUNDS)

(LOUD SCREAMING)

(CRASHING)

Nice set of bells you got there.
Hmm.

MILT BIGELOW:
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

You can do better than that. Now, we need
more drama out there.

Pound the floor harder.

Harder?
Yeah.

(CRYING our)

Like you're suffering, you understand?
Tonight's show has got to be especially good.

Let's take it from the top.

Hey, is that the, uh... The ringmaster
for this circus here?

Hmm.

Nice talking with ya.

MILT: A little harder.
That's good.

Pound the mat a little harder.

Come on.

Harder! Like you're suffering,
not like you're making pizza.

(LOUD SCREAMING)

That's it! All right, hold it!
April... April, you've had it with her.

You've had it with her!
Now, let her have it.

Go!
(SCREAMS LOUDLY)

(CRASHING)

You make it look too easy, Mary.

What? MILT: Put up
a little fight, will you?

Milt, she tripped me.
You saw that!

I did not trip her.
MILT: All right. Save it.

Save it all for the ref. Let's
see the big move now. Come on.

Hey, you all right?

Hey, uh, would you get out
of the way, dear?

MILT: That's great. That's great.
Yeah?

If you tap the audience
then we can... You know.

Hey, they're never
gonna know what hit 'em.

You, uh, looking for somebody, kid?
Yeah.

I'm, uh, looking to get
into the wrestling game.

Well, eventually. I could be
an apprentice or something.

A wrestler?

What do you weigh, about 105?

110 if you eat
a bunch of bananas?

Okay, I'm not so big, all right?

But I got some
pretty fancy footwork

and I got a darn good right arm.

Oh, I'm sure you do.

If I put you at the door,
I'm sure you could tear

tickets in half
with no trouble at all.

We got work to do.
Come on, girls.

(STAMMERING)
Okay, I can do that.

I can tear tickets really good.
And it'd give me a chance

to watch and learn
the biz like that, huh?

(SCOFFING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

MARY: For Pete's sake,
she could be a plant.

Yeah, but she's very
good-looking.

Besides, if I blow her off,
it'll look suspicious.

All right, make her audition.

Then we can call an ambulance and have
her carted off all nice and legal.

Kid, come here.

If you want a break in here,
you gotta show us

that you're dedicated to learning
the art of wrestling.

Hey, man, I always
wanted to be an artist.

It's just an audition. Wanna see how you move.
Won't be too rough.

Well, in the ring or on the street,
fair is fair.

I'm going. I'm going.

April, come on.

Oscar, I'm gonna break
your glasses for this.

Come on, you're gonna get your first lesson.
Thank you.

Cream puff.

(YELLING)

Will you just stand still, you pencil-necked
little squirt?

Come here. I just wanna give you
a manicure.

Come on.

Watch your fingers, baby.

Okay.

Now, you might as well
kiss this hand goodbye.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(MARY GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

Okay, now here's where the going gets
really tough, dearie.

(GRUNTS)

And the tough get going.

All right.

What do you have to say
for yourself now, dearie?

All right. Do I get to stay, or what?
Fair is fair.

You got it.

(BREATHING HARD)

What's your name, kid?
Jessie SOMMERS.

Well, if things pan out,

you'll be known as Joltin' Jessie SOMMERS.
What do you think?

Swell.

You do any shtick?

You have a routine or anything?

Nothing special.

April.
Yeah.

Joltin' Jessie needs
some costumes.

Go pick out a few things, show her where the
locker room is, all right?

Well, she ain't gonna
fight tonight, is she?

No, not tonight. But I want you
to start working with her.

Hi.
Hi.

Name's April Armitage.
April?

I mean, you're not the one
they call Amazon, are you?

(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

I'm Jessie SOMMERS.
Nice to meet you.

Thank you. Boy, you sure can't judge
a book by its cover.

You had us all fooled.

How'd a little skinny thing like you ever learn
to wrestle like that?

Oh, uh...
I had this coach.

His name was, uh, Rudy Wells.

He kind of put
my style together.

Boy, he really did a good job.

Listen, why don't you go on down to the
locker room by yourself. I'll join you.

I've got something
I have to take care of first.

Sure.
Okay.

Thank you.
Yeah. Okay. (CHUCKLING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

and I'm telling you that you're
absolutely crazy to let strangers in here.

I run this show around here, and I
know a good draw when I see one.

We'll just keep an eye on her.

We'll make delivery
to our foreign friends

without any big hassles,
so just relax.

Just relax.
(SIGHING)

Now, wait a minute.
Joltin' Jessie SOMMERS?

Yeah! Don't ya love it? Hey, Oscar, they think
I'm a regular Joe Frazier.

Joe's a boxer, Jaime.

Oh!

Well, whatever. Anyway, there is something
going on here, Oscar.

I heard them talking
about making a delivery

to some foreign friends,
unquote.

Any idea what?
No, not yet.

But I'm gonna try to pump Amazon April
for some information.

Amazon April? What can I tell you?
I just work here.

Oh, wait a minute, Oscar.
There she is now.

I gotta go.
Round two coming up.

Good-bye.
Good-bye, babe.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Look, April, I know
how much you want it,

but I've got
somebody else interested.

I... I am gonna have that down payment
for you by tomorrow.

Really, Mr. Epstein.
Oh, come on, April.

Who's fooling who?
I checked your bank.

You couldn't get a loan for a cheeseburger,
much less...

Look, I am going to have $9,000 for you
by tomorrow. In cash.

Oh, come on.
Give me one more day.

That little place
means so much to me.

Please?

(SIGHING) All right. But tomorrow is
the last day.

Absolutely.

Sure. (SOBBING)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

What are you doing up here?

I was going to the locker room
and I got lost.

Yeah, well, uh...
Let's go down this way.

What is that?
Ooh!

That's a cage that goes up to the ceiling and then
lowers into the ring.

Mad Mary used to make
a big entrance in it.

But the air is so bad up there, she nearly
suffocated one night,

so we had to quit using it.

Huh. It's real cute.

April, how'd you
get into wrestling?

Well, I wanted to be a model for Vogue,
but they kept sending my pictures back

so I thought this
was the next best thing.

(LAUGHING)
Oh, I don't know.

I didn't have time for nursing school
like I wanted,

but I finally got a job nights

and I got myself a license as
a physiotherapist.

Wait a minute. That's how you
got into wrestling?

No, no, no, no. I just do this
for a living.

I have got my eye on this nice
little health club

on the other side of town.

See, I thought I could help some of those nice,
rich ladies get into shape.

That sounds neat. It's gonna take a lot of money,
though, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, yeah. But, I got... I got a lot
put away in the bank.

Wrestling pay that good?
Sure. Sometimes.

Hey, ugly. Milt wants another
rehearsal in an hour.

I know.
I'll be there.

That is, if you've finished changing cream puff's
diapers by then.

Can't wait to get you
in the ring again, dearie.

I'll be ready for you next time.

Oh, boy!

You should've seen her before she went
to charm school. (CHUCKLING)

Oh, look, look. We can go over here.
We can find you a nice little outfit.

Ah, nuts, I forgot. Gee. Mad Mary lost
the keys last week.

Maybe that's what made her mad.

Well, that and breathing.
Oh. (LAUGHING)

Look, I'll go dig up
a hacksaw somewhere.

Okay.
Be right back.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

April.
APRIL: Uh-huh.

It's not...
It wasn't locked.

APRIL: Wait, no...
I could've sworn...

Well, okay. Huh.

Let's see what we got in here.

Oh, my goodness! (WHOOPS) Look! We'll find
something here.

Now, wait a minute.

(IN A GIRLISH VOICE) How's that?
(LAUGHING)

I think we can find
something better.

I like it. (CHUCKLING)
Tough. Come on.

(WARRIOR MUSIC PLAYING)

Are you sure Pocahontas
started like this?

(CHUCKLING) You look great.

I feel ridiculous.

Is this get-up really necessary?
I mean, come on.

Look, every girl here has got some kind
of personality.

You have to let the real you come out,
you know?

Oh, the fans love it. Someone they
can identify with.

Amazon April?

Okay, I'll admit, sometimes the real you
ain't enough to sell tickets.

So, we help out a little bit with a good
character routine, that's all.

And from the way you look, I think
we should call you Savage SOMMERS.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
(CHUCKLING)

Hi, Spider. Are you ready
for tonight?

Hmm.

What's that?
Spider Lady.

But, well, you see...

Her real name
is Esther Chambers.

But, nobody's gonna pay to see Esther Chambers
wrestle,

but as Spider Lady,
she can pack the house.

Hey, is there something
special going on tonight?

I mean, you're all
rehearsing extra.

Special? No!
No, not that I know of.

Uh... Come on, why don't
I go get changed

and, um, then I'll check out your moves,
huh?

(GRUNTING)

Okay, that's pretty good.
That's pretty good.

But Milt likes it to sound as good as it looks.
Now really smack the mat.

Okay.
Come on.

(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHING)

Oh, that's better, yeah, yeah.
Okay. Now, come on. Get up. Okay.

Alrighty, now. This is how
we throw a punch.

Really wind up.

But... But pull it before it hurts, see?
All right, like this.

See?

That the way you learned it?
Yeah.

All right.
Now, let's try one.

(GRUNTING)

Oh, come on now. Take the punch.
Okay.

Make it look like I hit you, right?
Okay.

You sure you know how to do this?
Yeah.

I mean, I just want to get the feel
of your rhythm.

Okay, ready? Okay. Come on,
let's do it. I'm ready.

(APRIL LAUGHING)

Oh, that was much better!
I'm glad you liked it.

APRIL: Okay,
basic moves first.

Okay. Come on, now.
Let's do the rest.

Now we got a reverse hammerlock, a full nelson,
an elbow throw.

Come on, get me
in a full nelson.

From the front?

Oh, a full nelson.
Got it.

April, listen, why don't you show me
your technique first, okay?

All right, Jessie. Come on. Don't con me.
You've never done this before, have you?

Well, not for real. But listen, I know I could
be good if you'd just help me.

I need the money so bad.

Oh, all right. Okay. Come on now,
this is a full nelson.

All right.
Got it?

And this is a half nelson.

Okay. Got that.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

MILT: Mary. Mary. I got the drug
we're gonna need.

How does it work?
I'll show you. Come on.

Now, this is a hammerlock.
Uh-huh?

April. Rhonda took a powder. I'm gonna use Jessie
in the warm-up match tonight.

Make sure she looks good. Uh-huh. Yeah, Milt.
Yeah, you got it.

April?
Uh-huh?

April.
What?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Look, I'm sorry. Listen, now listen,
you better be a quick learner,

or you're in for
a very early retirement.

All right now. Come on.
This is an elbow throw, okay?

Oh! Hey, listen. Why don't we take a break
for a minute, okay?

Oh, come on, if you
get winded this fast,

you're gonna get creamed tonight.
I'm not winded.

Now, come on,
you heard what he said.

Let's stick with it.
All right? Huh?

April, let me show you
one of my specialties, okay?

Oh, all right.
What's that?

All right. Come over here and just lean
over my shoulders.

(LAUGHING) Last person
tried that got a hernia.

Come on, lean over.

Oh, come on, you gotta be kidding.
Get over here!

You'll be sorry.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(WHIRRING)

(APRIL MOANING)

(GROANING)

What do you think?
That was your thing?

Where's the bucket? Listen, I'm gonna
be right back.

Where's the bucket?
Yoo-hoo, bucket?

Where's the bucket?

(GASPING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

MILT: See, this is what it looks like.
This stuff is really powerful.

The drug's inside
that little thing?

Yes, see, all I gotta do is slap somebody
on the leg or back or someplace.

This needle inside
injects the drops.

And it knocks them out? Before they even
hit the ground.

And for a good five minutes.

That's long enough? Plenty. The driver
will be waiting.

What about
that O.S.I.agent, Haley?

Well, we'll get our instructions
about him later on,

but I got a pretty good idea
what they're gonna be.

Our employer doesn't
like loose ends.

(PHONE RINGING)

Bigelow.

Yeah.

Right.

The TV crew's outside waiting for the interview.
Let's go.

April! Hi!
Hi.

Feeling better?
Well, I was.

What are you doing here?

I was kind of getting
the feel for the place.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Well, come on, the TV crew's here.
Let's go.

Really?
Come on.

Callahan, Send in Dr. Brandes as soon
as she gets here, will you?

Thank you.

In the true American spirit of solid competition
and a fair fight,

all of you sports fans are in for a real
treat tonight.

The Battle of the Ages
is gonna be fought right here

in the Olympic Auditorium
just two short hours from now.

Two teams will be vying for the title
of World's Tag Team Champions.

And what teams they are!

Mad Mary Maddox
and Fabulous Franci Fonzo,

(CHEERING)

versus Amazon April Armitage and the mysterious
Spider Lady!

(CHEERING)

Looks like you're all tied up

in knots over this one, huh, Mary?
You better believe it, Jimmy.

Yeah, they had to put me
in this straightjacket

to keep me from tearing Lardo to pieces
before the match.

Who you calling Lardo? I'm talking about you,
hog jowls!

I had your mother on a bacon sandwich
this morning!

Oh, this time,
I'm really gonna get her!

Hey, hey, hey. Help! Hey, come on now, girls!
You ain't doing nothing!

I'll pull her blond hairs
out of her black roots!

You won't live long enough
to lay a hand on me.

We're gonna make hamburger meat
out of you.

MARY: You and
Italian sausage...

You wanted to see me,
Mr. Goldman?

Dr. Brandes.
Good of you to come.

This morning's report says that the Delta
Satellite is about ready for testing.

Yes.

In six or seven days, the integrated circuit
for the main logic system

will undergo
complete calibration.

I was just fitting it
into that model

of the new housing I developed.

Ah! I see that you
have new vodka.

Yes, help yourself.
Oh, I see you already have.

It's amazing, Doctor,
that a unit this small

can be the brain to operate an entire
surveillance satellite.

Yes, it is.

It would've taken years longer to perfect it
in my country's laboratories.

That's part of the reason
why you defected, isn't it?

It certainly was not
for your vodka.

There's not even
a fireplace around

to throw the glass into.
(LAUGHING)

Well, you must admit that you have more
freedom here, Doctor.

Freedom? (MOCK SPITS)

Two guards at all times,
four guards when I'm outside?

Doctor, until this is tested and analyzed
by our computers,

you are as priceless
a commodity as this is.

We can't afford to let anything
happen to you.

After all, your people might still want
to, uh, reclaim you.

That is true.
My people are very clever.

Would you excuse me
a minute, please?

(SWITCHES ON TV)

Let me at her!
(GRUNTING) Let me at her!

Come on, Jimmy.
Come on, let her at me.

If Nutso wants
to commit suicide,

why should we stand in her way?

Let's go get her! JIMMY: Now save it
for the ring, girls.

You better have her put away.
At least until tonight.

You like lady wrestling,
Mr. Goldman?

JIMMY: Yes, siree, friends,
we've got us a real...

In a way... grudge match going
here at the Olympic tonight.

So do I. And before the main event
this evening...

Sporting contests of all kinds are exciting.
we'll have a warm-up match

between Battling Betty Madison
and this newcomer here, Savage SOMMERS.

(MAKING WAR CRY)
All right. Savage,

I don't see your opponent anywhere around here.
I don't either.

I have a feeling she heard I was out
after her scalp.

Uh-huh.
And she got a little scared

and didn't want to come to face me in person,
you know.

I think that they really ought to call her
Bashful Betty, you know.

Mr. Goldman, didn't I see that girl with you
in this office this morning?

That's right, Doctor. She's doing some
undercover work for me.

getting her fingernails sharpened
or something like that.

I know where she is. She's probably
in a church,

aren't you, honey? You're down on your knees,
you're gonna pray

that I'm gonna get hit by a cement truck
before this match tonight.

Well, good luck.
Nothing is gonna happen.

I'm telling you, Jimmy

Battling Betty, she's gonna get
the ax tonight.

She really is gonna
get the ax tonight.

And if you're out there watching, sweetheart,
[got a rhyme for you.

If you show up tonight

you can trust that you're gonna
eat my dust.

When [break you in half,
everybody's gonna laugh.

And say Bashful
Battling Betty's a bust!

All right.
All right!

(LAUGHING)

She is very amusing.

(PHONE RINGING)

Yeah.
WOMAN: We have trouble.

What do you mean?
Everything's set for tonight.

WOMAN: Are you aware that one of
your stable is an O.S.I. agent?

What?

That SOMMERS girl is
one of Goldman's people.

Haley must've gotten the message out
before you captured him.

Okay. How do you want to handle it? Postpone?
No.

We must get the Delta circuit out
just as we planned. Tonight.

What about you? They will have four guards
on me at least.

As we anticipated.

But they should be no trouble as long
as the SOMMERS girl is out of the way.

See that she is.

She will be.

Jessie! Jessie, your TV spot
was terrific.

Now, listen, your match is in about an hour,
and if I were you,

I'd find Betty and grab me
a quick workout.

I will. Okay. What's the matter
with you?

Nothing.

Oh, come on, something's wrong.
You can tell me.

You can tell me.

April, there's a guy
named Austin.

I owe him a lot of money,

and if I don't come up with something real quick,
he's gonna get rough.

Well, how much money?

Five grand.

Five grand! Oh, wow!
That's a heap.

Oh, honey,
I wish I could help ya.

I wish somebody could.

This guy Austin's
pretty bad news.

Said he was gonna make me
some cement shoes.

(SNAPS FINGERS) Hey, that rhymes,
doesn't it?

(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
That's not funny.

Is he really that rough? Something better
come up real quick.

(SIGHING) I'm gonna rob me
a bank. Wanna come with me?

Oh, that's not funny either.

Oh, Jessie, I don't wanna
see you get in any trouble.

Hey, I couldn't be in any more trouble
than I'm already in.

Wait a minute. I got an idea. Just...
Just wait here a minute.

Give me Milt's office.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

APRIL: Hello, Milt?
MILT: Yeah?

APRIL: Listen, uh, I was just talking
to Jessie SOMMERS.

And uh... Look, she's in need
for some bread, too, ya know.

And, uh...
I was just wondering...

Well, you know...

If we could use
her help tonight, huh?

Did she ask you about it?

No. No, no. She didn't.
But, uh...

I just know she's in need of a quick score.
Now, what do you... What do you say?

Sure, why not?
Bring her up to my office.

We'll fill her in.
APRIL: Thanks, Milt.

Thanks a lot.

Jessie.

Jessie, I just think
I found you some dough.

Really!
Mmm-hmm.

Now, look. But you gotta be really quiet about it.
I mean, really quiet.

April, man, I don't know
what to say.

Just forget it. Come on.

Good evening, ladies.
Hi.

Understand you're anxious
to pick up some fast cash.

The faster the better.

Well, that'll be no
trouble at all.

Jessie!

Wow! That stuff's worse
than Esther's drop kick!

What did you do to her?

Just a little tranquilizer.
She's an agent, April.

From the O.S.I.

The what?
She sucked you in, dearie.

What are you gonna do to her?

We're gonna give her enough of this drug
to keep her asleep for a week.

Give me her right arm.

The needle must be
a little dull.

Okay.

That'll keep her out of our way
till we're long gone.

Let's get her in the cage.

Now, Milt, come on, you know she's not gonna
be able to breathe up there

when the place fills up.

(MACHINE STARTS)

MILT: Come on, April.
The match starts in an hour.

MILT: Come on.

Oh!

Never thought I'd get to the top of this business
this quick. (GROANING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

MILT: Okay, Ernie.
Let them in.

Mary, come on, we've got to check
on something.

Oh, Jessie.

April, behind you.

Jessie?

(STAMMERING) Are you all right?
Are you okay?

Yes.
Are you hurt?

No, I'm fine.
But you're not.

Now, you're gonna be in a lot of trouble if you
don't level with me right now.

Oh, Jessie, I never thought
they'd try to hurt you.

They told me you were an agent.

Lam.

And there was another agent that came here
and he disappeared.

His name was Wayne Haley.
Do you know where he is?

April, tell me.

Jessie, all I wanted was a little money
for my health club.

That's all... I didn't expect to
get involved in all this.

I mean, this isn't wrestling. Those people are
playing for keeps.

All right, okay, okay. I know you're scared.
So am I.

But if you'll stick with me and we can work
together, we'll get through this thing.

Now what I need to know is what they're planning
on doing.

They're gonna get something out of the audience
during the match.

That's all I know, really.
They never tell me anything.

(SOBBING) Oh, I wish I'd never gotten
involved in any of this.

I'm sorry... Hey, it's all right.
It's okay.

It's all right.

Now, I need to find out
their whole plan, all right?

Now, can you tell me where this other agent is?
Do you know?

(DISTANT CHATTER)

April, trust me. I promise, I won't let anything
happen to you.

Okay.

Come on.

(CLANKING)

(KNOCKING)

Come in.

Buy you a drink?

Rudy, that is a delightful idea.

Anything but vodka.

Uh-huh. Sounds like Dr. Brandes is
getting to you.

Well, you might say that.

Has she left
for the evening yet?

Yeah. Just saw her
and four bodyguards leave.

She's quite a woman. A little eccentric maybe,
but...

How do you mean?

Well, you know
what she does to unwind?

One of the guards told me she's taking all of them
to a wrestling match tonight.

What's the matter?
I say something wrong?

I think they put him in here.

MARY: Look at this.

Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-dum.

Very dumb.

Now let me get this straight, we're going to
a wrestling match?

Shh.
LYNON: Warm-up match

between Battling Betty Madison
and Savage SOMMERS

will not be held tonight.
Savage who?

Jaime?
Wait a minute.

LYNON: Instead, we will
proceed to our main event,

with Battling Betty replacing Amazon April
in that match.

(SIGHING)

What happened to Jaime?

APRIL: Is he dead, Jessie?

MILT: No, not yet.

But this room is built like a vault because
of the high-voltage units.

I'm afraid it's gonna get
a little warm for you.

Good-bye, Miss SOMMERS.

(DOOR LOCKING)

Mr. Haley? Mr. Haley?

Hard to talk... Drugs...

What are they planning on doing?

Wayne, come on. Wake up.

She's going to defect...

Take Delta module.

The Delta...

Dr. Brandes?
She's going to escape...

Wayne, how can she do that?

She's got so many
bodyguards around her.

How is she gonna get
through them?

Wayne, talk to me.

(SIGHING)

Ross, this is Oscar Goldman.

Take a team
to Dr. Brandes' lab

and see if any security materials are missing.
And hurry.

(WHISTLING)

Ladies and gentlemen,

tonight,
the world's championship

tag team challenge event
for women.

I am delighted to present to you
this evening,

in this corner,
weighing in at 140

and 137 pounds,

the current tag team champions

of the world.

Mad Mary Maddox

and Fabulous Franci Fonzo!

I'm gonna annihilate you.

(CROWD BOOING)

And in this corner,
the challengers,

weighing 142 and 150 pounds,

Battling Betty Madison

and her teammate,
the mysterious Spider Lady!

JAIME: One hundred and ten.
We've gotta get out of here.

There's no way out.

Oh, Jessie, it's all right.
It's not your fault.

April, we're gonna
get out of here. Okay?

Jessie, it's no use.

(APRIL GASPING)

April...
What?

What do you call that thing in wrestling when you
kick out with both feet?

A flying dropkick?
Yeah. How do you do that?

Would you show me? Come on.
You can do it. Come on.

Well, you sort of run at the target and let
both feet fly...

You know, like this.

Okay, stand back, come on.

You can work my health club
anytime you wanna.

Listen, get him out of here. I gotta go take care
of some stuff.

Yeah, I will.

Wayne, Wayne, come on.

RUDY: All right,
I'll tell him.

Oscar, it's Russ,

he says the Delta circuit's missing
from Dr. Brandes' lab.

She's gonna try
to smuggle it out!

This is Goldman,
Code Snow White.

I want every
available backup unit

to rendezvous at the Olympic
Auditorium immediately.

Hey, now, take it easy. She's got four
bodyguards there.

She's not gonna walk right out.

Step on it!

Just like we rehearsed, Mary.

Okay, Betty,
get into the routine!

MARY: Here's your needle.

BRANDES: Lift up the top!

Quickly! (PANTING)

The cloth! The mask!

And the Delta circuit module.

Now the mask! Fix me!

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

That's it. Now, hurry,
lift the flap.

Make way!
Let me through!

Look out! Out of my way!

Where you going?
Let me go.

Esther, you can talk.

No, please, I'm hurt.

With Dr. Brandes' voice?

BRANDES: No, out of my way.
Please, let me go.

JAIME: April, stop her!

Get off, you...

Go, Betty! Go!

SOMMERS...
SOMMERS, here I come!

Here's where you finally get squashed,
cream puff!

Stop it, Mary, now, I don't wanna
hurt you!

You're gonna hurt me?

(YELLS)

Hey, look, it's a phony rope!

Look at the great show!
Tie her up.

Look, go get her, Geronimo. Give it
to her, girl.

Lay it on her!
Give it to her!

You two take the other side.
Come on!

Jaime!

Jaime, the Delta circuit.

The winner!

(CROWD CHEERING)

All right. So, then, Dr. Brandes
defected to our side

just so she could get involved
in the Delta project. Right.

What about Bigelow?
Did you find him, too?

Rounded him up. Rounded everybody up.
Thanks to you.

And April.

Oh, and April. April, thank you very much.
You're welcome.

Well, what about that other
thing we were talking about?

Oh, yes. The government has decided that April
is due for a reward.

Oh, no, I...
I couldn't do that.

I think it was just about enough for
a down payment on a health club,

something like that? Right?
Hmm, just about.

Oh, Jessie... Jamie. Oh, that's wonderful.
Thank you.

Oh, listen. Are you kidding?
You... You earned that.

Besides, I could use
a good massage.

Aside from a few choice parts,
my body is a disaster area.

I don't know how you do
this wrestling stuff.

You are on.
Great.

How about you,
Mr. Goldman. Hmm?

Uh...
A little massage, huh?

Well, I don't know. I mean...
Oh, Oscar, you should.

But I've never been to a massage place,
Jamie. I mean...

Well, it'll be a whole new experience for you.
You're gonna love it.

Trust me.

(APRIL LAUGHING)

OSCAR: Well, you know what happens in Washington.
I mean,

you gotta be careful, though.