The Bionic Woman (1976–1978): Season 1, Episode 5 - Claws - full transcript

Okay gang. Show and tell. Katie, you want to
come on up?

Come on.

(SIGHS)

Tell the class what you've brought.
Don't be shy.

Aw, not Katie. Her stuff's always
so dull.

(SNARLING)

(CHILDREN EXCLAIMING)

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

JAIME: All right, now don't anybody panic.
Stay absolutely still.

(LION SNARLING)

Neil, stop! Lie down.



Katie, would you like to introduce your
guest to the class.

Sure. This is
my friend... Neil.

And this is Susan Victor. This is Neil's
owner and trainer.

Hello, everybody.
CHILDREN: Hello.

Are you the trainer that bought the old
Haley ranch?

Yes.

Wow. My dad really got bent out of shape when
he heard there were

wild animals right
over the hill.

Katie, why don't you tell the class about
Susan's wild animals?

Well, all of Susan's
animals are tame.

She uses a technique
called affection training

to teach many of the animals you see on TV
and in the movies.

Hey, did you train the shark?

No. All of my animals
are the four-legged kind.



Two years ago, Neil
almost had to be put away.

You mean they almost killed him?

Neil was too wild
to fit into the circus.

Every time he heard a trainer's gunshot, he'd
panic and start to attack.

That's when Susan took him in and started
giving him lots of love and affection.

With the help of my great
assistant, Katie.

Katie... Really?

That's right.

Wow! Can I...
Is it safe to pet him?

Oh, yes. In fact,
he'd probably love it.

Especially behind the ears.

Okay, now, everybody, move very slowly
and quietly.

You can all pet him.

Everybody move slow.

(CHILDREN EXCLAIMING)

You were right, Jaime. Katie certainly isn't
shy any longer.

I know. This has been so good for her.
Hmm.

It was really nice of you to let her
bring him to class.

And look at his feet,
aren't they huge?

CHILDREN: Yeah, wow!

BILL: Must've been a really big cat that
killed your steer.

KEYS: Yeah, suspicious.
Look at that track.

That's impossible. Hasn't been a cougar
in this valley in years.

I didn't say it was a cougar.

That track's bigger than any
cougar's I've seen.

Big as a lion, maybe.

Only one lion around here.

Billy! Billy! Come on!

Billy! Billy!

SUSAN: Come on.

That a good guy.
Come on, Tusker.

Move it up.

You okay?

Oh, it's fantastic.

Fantastic.

Easy. Leans over
and everything.

Okay.

JAIME: Gosh, I wish I could bring
my class out here. That's terrific.

SUSAN: They're
welcome anytime.

All of them?
You want all them here?

Oh, sure. Hey, Jaime, that would
help me out a lot.

Maybe people would
accept this place then

and try to understand
what I'm trying to do.

You're having problems?

Oh, yeah. One neighbor called and said that his
dairy cows were drying up

because of old Neil's roars.

And another neighbor said that he'd shoot
any animals

that trespassed his land...

Oh, that's... Just a lot of
nice neighborly...

(GASPS) My God, Jaime!
Your foot!

Tusker! Back up!

If it's broken...
Jaime, are you all right?

Uh, no, it's fine.
It's really okay.

Do you know how much
weight he had on it?

Oh, Jaime, your foot
should be crushed.

Oh, well he obviously didn't put all his
weight on it.

It's really...
Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay. I've just got
a lot in my mind.

Katie, can you come here
a minute, honey?

Yeah.

Listen, after you've
finished all your chores,

will you give Tusker
an extra load of hay

and all the water he can drink?

Okay.
Okay? Thanks, love.

JAIME: Katie must really
be a big help, huh?

Oh, she's just a super kid. I don't
know if I could manage without her.

Hey, Katie has told me
that you had to let go

of a really good
assistant that you had.

Yeah, I just couldn't
pay him anymore.

And I haven't paid Katie and I haven't
paid the feed bill in over a month.

(CHUCKLES)
It's laughable.

They're eating prime rib,
and I'm working for peanuts.

Now don't you start
feeling sorry for yourself.

Susan, you're good,
and it's gonna change.

(NEIL ROARING)

Hi, Neil. Come here.
How's my good guy?

Hi, sweetheart. Hello, my love.
How are you?

You know, I'm waiting
for a call right now.

He's a TV producer, wants to do a show
about a girl lost in the wilds of Africa.

Oh, that's perfect for you.

Uh... I've been waiting for too many calls to
get my hopes up.

(PHONE RINGING)

My hopes are up.
Come on.

Good.

Hello.

Yes, this is Susan Victor.

Oh, really?

Well, yes, yes, of course.

You want me to come to New York
tonight?

Uh... Could you
hold on please?

What'll I do?

What do you mean, what'll you do?
Have you got it?

Well, I don't know.
It looks good,

but I can't just pick up
and go to New York.

Why not?

Well, what do I do
about the animals?

Oh, I can take care of them.
Tomorrow's Saturday.

You?

Well, of course, me.

Katie and I can do it together.

Listen, what we can do is, we can lock
up all the animals...

Except Neil.

Okay. Except Neil. And...

Oh, don't mess up your chance!

Do... Go for it!

Okay.

Okay. Yes. Yes,
I'll be there.

Thank you.
Okay, bye.

Fantastic. Congratulations.
Thank you.

What you doing, kiddo?

(KATIE EXCLAIMS)

You know, Susan ought to be
over Ohio right about now.

Gee, I sure hope
she gets that show.

She loves these animals so much.

I know. And she's not the only one around
here who does.

Yeah, me, too.

(NEIL ROARS)

Just look at that.

That's what I love about
this place.

A big cat like Neil can roam around free
and not be caged up.

Boy, it sure is fun to watch, but it takes
so much getting used to.

Sure does.

What's next?

Well, I got to put
a new diaper on the chimp,

but I've gotta get this feed sack inside
the barn first.

It's so heavy. Susan and I couldn't
lift it yesterday.

Well, I'll tell you what,
if you go diaper the chimp,

I'll move the bags in the barn for you.
How's that?

Gladly.

Okay.

Bye!
Bye.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(NEIL ROARING)

(TRUMPETING)

Hey, what's the matter, fella?

JAIME: Neil...
Neil, calm down.

(TRUMPETING LOUDLY)

Get back, Tusker!
Easy, Tusker.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

What happened?

I don't know. Neil jumped down
and he spooked Tusker.

I think it's my fault.

With Susan leaving,
I forgot to feed him.

Well, that might be the answer.

I mean, all the affection in the world isn't gonna
stop a hungry animal.

Okay, Tusker.
Chow time!

It's okay. It's okay.

(NEIL ROARS)

(CAR HONKING)

Uncle Bill!
How are you?

Good.
You know her?

Oh, sure. This is Jaime Sommers.
This is Charlie Keys.

How do you do?

Jaime here is my brother Jim's stepdaughter.
She lives over at his place.

But what are you doing here?

Oh, I'm zoo-sitting.

Isn't Susan Victor around?

No. She went to New York for the weekend.
Can I help you?

(SNARLING)

Doesn't she keep
that lion locked up?

Now don't worry about it.
He's not gonna hurt you.

Come here, Neil.

Keep him out of here!

Keep him out of here!

Now, that is the one thing you don't want to do.
Guns upset him a lot.

Now it's all right,
I'm holding him.

He'll break away from you anytime
he wants to.

I'm not having any
trouble holding him.

I've heard about
that lion's reputation.

How that circus dumped him
because he was so vicious.

It's because people were
around him with guns.

Now will you please
put that gun down?

(GROWLS)

You see how uppity he is?

Why did you come here?

We found a steer torn
to pieces on my ranch,

about three miles over the hill.

I'm sorry to hear that.
But why did you come here?

That steer had been
killed by a cat, Jaime.

It was killed by that lion.

Oh, come on.
Neil's a pet.

KEYS: He's wild. He has no right
to be here.

Now look, Jaime, please try to
understand.

It's taken over 20 years to control the cougars
in this valley,

and now some woman moves in with an animal
that's twice as deadly.

Mr. Keys, Susan's animals, all of them,
are under control.

Are you sure about that, Jaime?

Look, I wasn't here last night
so I can't defend Neil,

but I'm sure that
when Susan comes back...

Listen to me. I want
him caged and chained.

I cannot do that. Neil isn't used to
being chained.

I'm telling you, you better keep
him put away

or I'm just gonna have to come back here
with the sheriff.

You ready to go, Bill?
Yeah.

Better do as he says, Jaime.

I'll phone you tonight.

And I'll tell you
one more thing,

I find him on my property,
I'm gonna shoot him.

Come on, Neil.

Lie down.

Neil didn't do it!

He couldn't have.

I believe you, honey.

And I believe in Susan's training
methods, too.

Did Susan ever mention to you...

About seeing any other kind of a cat
around here?

A cougar or a mountain lion?

Hmm... No.

Well, there's gotta be some kind of a dangerous
animal around here.

What does she use this for?

That's not a regular gun.

You see, it shoots
this tranquilizer dart.

She has some more out in the barn
in case of...

In case of an emergency.

Katie, are you telling me that Susan
has had trouble with her stock?

There's never been a problem.
And there won't be.

As long as the animals
know you care for 'em.

Please don't put
Neil in a cage, Jaime.

I'm not going to.

But I am gonna keep him inside
with me tonight.

(CHATTERING)

(SQUAWKING)

Come on, you guys.

(SQUAWKING)

(ANIMALS SCREECHING)

Oscar, I hope you never send me
on a safari.

(GROWLING IN THE DISTANCE)

(ANIMALS SCREECHING)

(NEIL GROWLING)

(NEIL ROARING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Oops!

Morning, Sheriff.
Mr. Keys.

Good morning.

Jaime, how are you?
Okay.

Look, I hate to
bother you, but...

Why don't you just
get to the point, Sheriff?

Well, Mr. Keys lost another steer
last night.

It was killed by a cat.

Now look over there,
Sheriff. You see?

They let that lion run
loose all the time.

That lion is as tame
as a house cat.

Why don't you just ask her where that
lion was last night?

He was in the house with me. Just as
he is every night when Susan's here.

All night?

Are you sure?

What can I tell you? When I went to sleep
he was there,

and when I woke up he was there.

No traces of blood on him?

Look for yourself.

Well, she could've
cleaned that up.

Oh, come on!

Say, I've lost almost $1,200
worth of prime beef.

And you still can't prove
it was Neil that did it.

Once a killer always a killer.

Now listen, I'm gonna get a court order
if! Have to!

All right, just calm down.
Both of you.

Jaime, I want you to lock him up
for a few days.

Now if there're
any more attacks,

we'll know it's not your lion.

Okay.

Neil's never been
penned up before.

Oh, it won't be for long.

How could you let them do it?

Honey, I had no choice.

And besides, it'll give
Keys a chance to cool off.

And the sheriff's right. It'll prove that
Neil is innocent.

Of course he is.

Honey, you know him
and you love him.

But to most people
a lion is a wild animal.

You don't think he did it?

Oh, no.

And besides, any animal that gets as much meat
as Susan feeds Neil

certainly doesn't need
to hunt for more.

KATIE: That's right.

What is this?

Well, see, when Susan started running
low on money

we had to cut
Neil's meat ration.

So now he gets
half soybean meal.

It's all protein, right?

Yeah. That's right.

You wouldn't hurt anybody.

You're a sweet babe.

(PHONE RINGING)

Thank you.

Hello.
Hi, Jaime. It's Uncle Bill.

Hi. I was just wondering
how you were doing.

Why? Are you afraid the big bad lion
has gotten to me?

No, no.

I'm just keeping an eye on you.

It's a hard habit
to break, honey.

Remember, our family's been doing that since
you were 12 years old.

With Helen and Jim out of town, it,
sort of, falls to me.

I know. I'm sorry, Bill.
Everything's fine.

Good. Menagerie
all locked up?

All locked up and bedded down.

The lion, too?
Yep.

Good.

Now you keep
a close guard on him,

and keep him under wraps.

Bill, it sounds to me like you're actually
on their side.

Let's just say I want everybody
to be safe, honey.

All right.

Goodbye.

KATIE: Neil! Neil come back here!
Jaime, help!

(TUSKER TRUMPETING)

Katie? Are you all right?

He's gone.
Well, what happened?

I couldn't stand seeing him
locked up like that.

So you let him out of the cage?

I just wanted to play with him
for a minute.

Oh, Katie.

I wanted to see him run around
like always.

Then, all of a sudden,
he growled and got up,

like he was listening
to something.

Then he ran out. I tried to stop
him. Really.

It's all right, honey. Which way did he go?
Do you know?

Towards Uncle Bill's place.
What are we gonna do?

I'm gonna go find Neil
before anyone else does,

and you call Bill and tell him that Neil's headed
towards him, all right?

Okay. Okay. Okay. It'll be fine.
Don't worry about it.

(NEIL ROARING)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(NEIL ROARING)

Neil?

(SNARLING)

Neil, is that you?

Hey, come on out here 'cause I'm getting
really scared.

(GROWLING)

Neil? Come on.

Come on. Okay.

You ready to go home? Huh?
You ready to go home?

All right. Well, if you're ready,
let's go. Come on.

(LEAVES RUSTLING)

Come on.
Let's go home.

Neil! (ROARS)

(LEAVES RUSTLING)

KATIE: Can I stay?

Please?

Katie, in view of the way Neil's
been acting,

I really think it's best that
you go home.

(SIGHS) Neil wouldn't
hurt anyone.

Honey, I don't think
he would either,

and I'm gonna try and find out one way
or the other tonight. Okay?

Okay.

Thanks, Pete. Thanks.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(SNARLS)

What do you hear,
Neil? What...

(GROWLING)

(ROARING)
No!

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(SIGHS)

It is a cougar.

KEYS: And you're the only one
that's seen it.

If it's true.
If it's true!

Jaime, even if there is a cougar,
Neil was out there, too.

And he killed another one of my Herefords.
That's three I've lost.

I brought Neil home last night.

He was out there long enough.

It could have been Neil, Jaime.

Bill, I saw a cougar.

Now, look, Jaime, I appreciate

what you're trying to
do for your girlfriend,

but it's just not
gonna work any longer.

The only way to end this whole thing is to
kill the real attacker.

Mr. Keys, I couldn't agree
with you more.

Where are you going, Jaime?

There is a cougar out there, and I'm
gonna find him.

(CLICKING TONGUE)

Hey, Bill, I can't afford
to lose any more stock.

I'm just gonna have to get a court order and have
that animal destroyed.

You gonna come?

No. I'm going
with Jaime.

Let's go.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Why are we stopping?

Ah, a court order
will take too long.

Now we've been fooling around with
that lion long enough.

What are you talking about?

We're going back to that barn,

we're gonna finish off
that lion right now.

Whoa. Whoa!

Bill, what are you doing here?

Uh... Jim and Helen would never forgive
me if anything happened to you, honey.

Well, I'm glad you came.

Good. Let's see if we
can find some answers.

BILL: I think
he's headed north.

Must be a little Indian
in you there, Bill.

Just a little. Whoa!

Oh, no. No. No.

He belongs to that lady, as long as he's on
this property.

Hey, and I'm not
looking to get sued.

We're gonna turn him loose and we'll get him
when he gets to my land.

We'll have every right
to shoot him.

All right.
Open that cage.

I've never been close to a lion before.
He's a beautiful animal.

Come on. Come on. They're gonna be
back any time.

Turn him loose.

(GROWLS)

Give him a push.

Not me.

(SNARLING)

(SIGHS)

(YELLS)

All right.
Let's wake him up.

(RIFLE FIRES)

There he goes!

(GROWLING)

We better stick with him. We don't want him to
get too far ahead.

KEYS: Okay,
he's off her land.

Let's try to get a shot at him.

Where'd he go?

Just came over this rise.
He can't be too far.

Where is he?
Do you see him?

I think we lost him. He must be up in
the hills somewhere.

Or headed toward town. If he is, we're in
a lot of trouble.

Yeah.

All right, you go on after
him up there.

I'm gonna double back to town.

All right.

(GROWLING)

(ROARING)

(URGING HORSE)

What is it, Jaime?

I thought I heard a cat.

Oh? Where?

It's over there.
Come on.

Whoa!

(GROWLING)

He's gotta be right over there.

Well, we can never cross here.

Maybe if we went
downstream, a ways.

Tell you what, Bill. You go down there
and go across

and I'm gonna try to get around these rocks
and we can maybe close in on him, huh?

Okay.

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(GROWLING)

JAIME: Bill!

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(WHIMPERING)

Bill, are you all right?
Can you stand up?

Yeah. I'm okay.
Are you okay?

You know, it was a cougar.

Yeah. The biggest one
I ever saw.

How'd you do that to him?

What happened?
I heard a shot.

The cat jumped him.

RANCHER: That lion
is a killer.

There's your lion.

RANCHER: A cougar?

Neil's been locked up all day.

No, we let the lion go.

You what?

Well, it was Keys' idea to turn it loose so we
could shoot it and kill it.

Oh, my God!

If they start shooting at Neil,
he's gonna go crazy!

You two, if you can
tie up the cougar,

I'm gonna go find Neil.
All right?

Yeah. All right.
Just be careful.

(RIFLE FIRES)

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

(CAR APPROACHING)

Hey, Charlie. Aren't you hunting
a little out of season?

No, there's a lion loose.

A lion?

It's the same one that's
been killing our stock.

You got a citizen band in there?
Yeah.

Okay, get on it.
Now you spread the word.

I'm gonna follow him
up through there.

You got it.

Willy, that's the lion that's been killing
our steers.

Now get your gun.
Come on!

(RIFLE FIRES)

I think I winged him. He's headed for
the old Bennett place.

I got a bunch of boys
headed this way.

Give 'em this location.
Right.

This is Mason. Lion's headed for
the old Bennett place.

KEYS: Yeah,
he's hit, okay.

Yeah, and he's in there.

What you gonna do?
(NEIL SNARLING)

I'm gonna go in and finish him.

You're crazy!

I've hunted him this far.

Yeah, but that was
out in the open.

Now he's trapped
and he's wounded.

I'm telling you, you're crazy to
go in there.

No! No,
put your guns down!

KEYS: All right,
he's wounded.

Keep your guns
straight on that door.

KATIE: No!
Don't shoot him!

Hey, I know how we can get him.

We'll toss some flares in the old barn
and start a fire.

Hey, that's great. All right. We'll shoot
him on the way out.

You can't shoot him!

Somebody get this kid
out of here!

Katie. Jaime, they're
gonna shoot Neil!

No, they're not, honey.
Stay right here.

KATIE: Don't shoot him!
Excuse me.

Hey, lady, stand back.
Let me through!

Listen to me, Keys! It was a cougar that
was killing your stock.

I've heard that story before.

I've got the living proof. Bill's got him tied up
in the hills.

You'd say anything
to keep the lion alive.

Oh! No, wait, please.

Hold it! We're gonna
smoke him out.

Mr. Keys, please
let me go in there.

Neil knows me.
I can handle him.

What happened?

It was a cougar, Charlie.

That's what's been
doing in your stock.

Yeah. It's true.
It wasn't the lion.

How can we be sure? It could have been
that lion, too.

Oh, you just won't quit!

KEYS: Okay. Okay.
Maybe you're right.

I'll admit I was wrong
about that cougar,

but there's no getting near the lion now.
He's been wounded.

He's wounded?

We'd better finish him. You're not gonna
finish him!

I'm sorry, Jaime.

Best thing is to chase him out here
and destroy him.

(NEIL GROWLING)

All right, check your rifles.

We're gonna throw in the flares.

Let me go!

Jaime, don't let 'em do it!

Don't worry, honey. Bill!

Everybody put your guns down.

Get out of the way, Elgin.

That lion's crazy now.

Well, you'd be crazy, too, if somebody was
shooting at you.

Now listen, I told you to stay at the car.
Now you go back!

Bill? Bill!

Put 'em down!

I'm gonna go in now.

Look, Jaime, I know there's something
special about you,

but are you sure this is something
you can handle?

I gotta try.

Be careful, honey.

No! Bill,
don't let her do it!

Just stay where you are!

(NEIL ROARS)

JAIME: Neil?

Neil?

It's me, fella.

Hear they messed you up
a little, huh?

Neil, will you come on out?

(ROARING)

Neil!

(GRUNTS) Neil!

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Oh, Jaime.

Stay out!

Neil, you are upset,
aren't you, fella?

Neil, I understand, man. It's not easy
to be a nice guy when you're hurt and...

Neil!

(BIONIC POWERS ACTIVATING)

Neil, we're not gonna get out of this if you
don't calm down!

That's a boy.

Okay.

That's a good boy.
Now stay there.

That's a boy. I'm just gonna take a look
at where you're hurt. Okay?

Okay.

That's a good boy, Neil.

Stay right where you are.

Stop it!

Neil, I'm trying to help you.
Now just...

That's a boy, Neil!

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Easy.

Okay.

Let me take a look at your foot there.
Come on.

(PANTING) Neil.

Now I got a pretty
good right arm here.

If you're coming in for another bite, man,
I'm gonna have to deck you.

Oh.

Oh, Neil!

All right, just what
is going on here?

Jaime's in there with that lion.

The lion's wounded and Elgin won't
let us in.

Come on, Bill,
get out of the way.

Jaime? Well, he's probably
killed her, too!

There's your killer.

I'm sorry, Miss Sommers,
about Neil and your arm.

Oh, that's all right, honey.

You were right anyway, you know.

Everybody else had their doubts.

By the way, I was very proud of the way
you spoke up at the barn yesterday.

Well, last night, I mean.
Oh!

Wasn't exactly
shy old Katie, was I?

No, you weren't.
You were wonderful.

Thanks.

Hey, can we still bring
the class out here?

Oh, yeah.
I think so.

Good.
What do you say, Neil?

You want the kids
to come out here?

Hey.

Neil! Where are
you going?

Come on.

Hi, Neil. Listen, we got it!
We got the show!

We got it!
You're gonna be a star!

Is that true?
Yeah.

Congratulations!

SUSAN: Oh!
That's really nice.

Okay.
(GIGGLES)

What's this?

Come on, Jaime. Katie?

You all haven't had
any trouble, have you?

(ANIMALS SCREECHING)

(LAUGHS)