The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 8, Episode 22 - The Graduation Transmission - full transcript
Howard questions his engineering abilities when he and Sheldon can't get a toy drone to fly. A cancelled flight nearly prevents Leonard from giving the commencement address at his former high school. Raj pits his parents against each other when his father cuts him off financially.
It's, like,
the best one they make,
I just can't get it to work.
I'll figure it out.
It streams HD video straight
to your phone while it's flying.
Nice.
Where were you
when I was single?
Okay, we should leave in
about an hour. You all packed?
Uh, yeah, I just need to throw
in a few last minute things--
you know, makeup,
underwear, clothes.
If your bathroom floor
counts as a carry-on,
you're packed.
Leonard,
have you ever given
a high school
commencement speech before?
Nope. It's pretty exciting.
Aren't you afraid
of being blinded?
How would I be blinded?
At the end of the ceremony,
all the students throw
those pointy hats in the air.
It's all pomp and circumstance
until someone loses an eye.
I'll take my chances.
Fine.
I wonder if they make
"I told you so"
cards in braille.
Look, the problem
with commencement speeches
is that they're boring.
Ooh, do you own
a T-shirt cannon?
Why would he own
a T-shirt cannon?
I don't know. Why do I own one?
I think it's really nice
that you're sharing
this experience with Penny.
Mm, I thought
it'd be fun
to show her my old
stomping grounds.
I even know the exact spot
where they used to stomp me.
Well, now you
get to go back
as a successful
scientist.
With a beautiful girl
on your arm.
And a pointy hat sticking
out of your eyeball.
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
♪ Bang! ♪
How'd you get
ready so fast?
Oh, I pack light.
Once, I got through
an entire spring break
with nothing
but a long T-shirt and a belt.
Why did you need a belt?
It's called an
evening look.
I've never been to
New Jersey before.
It gets a bad rap from shows
like Jersey Shore
and Real Housewives.
So it's not
really like that?
No, it's like that.
Well, I'm excited
to show you around.
You think we'll have time
to visit your mom over there?
Yes. We'll also have time to put
my junk in a garlic press,
but I'm not
doing that either.
(phone chimes)
Uh-oh.
I just got an alert.
Our flight's
been canceled.
What?
Yeah, looks like
there's a big storm
all up the East Coast.
Well, can we get
on another airline?
I don't think so.
So, that's it?
We're not going?
I guess not.
(scoffs)
Well, that sucks.
Yeah.
I worked hard on
that speech, too.
Oh. You could tell it to me.
Oh, thank you,
but I'm okay.
Are you sure?
I could pretend I'm a
high school cheerleader
who can't control herself
around esteemed alumni.
Greetings, distinguished
cheerleaders.
Ooh!
Okay, the WiFi extender
is on, the camera's on,
they're both on
the same network;
we should be
getting an image.
All I see is a black screen.
And my own reflection.
I look sad.
Maybe we should
recalibrate it.
All right.
Step one:
rapidly flip
the calibration switch
from the fully up
to the fully down positions
for at least ten times.
It actually says "at least"?
Yeah.
Why would they say "at least"?
Is it ten toggles?
Is it 100 toggles? You know?
Is it 1,000 toggles?
10,000 toggles?
100,000 toggles?
Sheldon!
You see where
I'm going with this.
Just flip the switch
until the lights on the drone
change to solid yellow.
All right,
that seems simple enough.
Initiating calibration sequence.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten.
Well, I suppose ten
is technically "at least ten."
But they're still getting
at least one angry letter.
Now I rotate
it horizontally
on its center axis until
the lights turn green.
Initiating rotation sequence.
Don't look at me, initiate.
Oh...
What does red
and yellow mean?
It means the
calibration failed.
We have to start over.
Oh. Very well.
Reinitiating
calibration sequence.
One, two, three, four,
five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten...
...eleven.
It's a good thing
I didn't send that letter.
(Skype ringtone plays)
Mm. Hello, Daddy. What's up?
Not much, just wanted to see
how my son's doing.
Very well, thank you.
Are you still dating
that dermatologist?
If you could feel
how soft my skin is,
you wouldn't have to ask.
Oh, and there's something else
I wanted to ask you.
Why did you spend a month's rent
on a toy helicopter?!
Oh, you're where that bill goes.
I'm tired of indulging
your foolish lifestyle.
It's time you learned
responsibility.
And the only way
to teach you that
is to cut off your allowance.
No, Daddy, no!
There are lots of other ways
to teach me responsibility.
I know, you can give me an egg
and make me take care of it
for a week!
No, my mind is made up.
Starting now,
you're on your own.
But, Daddy,
I-I miss my family so much,
and with you and Mummy
getting a divorce,
I feel sad and empty.
Buying a little toy
every now and then
helps me fill that void.
So while I can't
hug you every day,
flying that helicopter...
I'm cutting you off.
Just to be clear,
financially or mid-sentence?
No red and yellow,
no red and yellow.
Yay!
It's green!
We did it!
Oh!
God, if it's this much fun to
rotate, imagine when we fly it.
Okay, now all I have to do
is rotate it vertically
until the lights turn off.
Oh, no!
Oh!
All right,
playtime's over.
Let's open
this baby up.
Won't that void the warranty?
Sheldon, I have a master's
degree in engineering.
I wipe my bottom
with warranties.
Except for AppleCare.
That pays for itself
in the long run.
Hi.
Hey, where'd you go?
I got you a little something
to cheer you up.
Really?
Sex last night,
pancakes this morning--
Am I dying?
(chuckles)
Just open it.
A cap and gown?
Why do I need a cap and gown?
Because you are giving
your commencement speech.
What are you talking about?
I called your old high school
and convinced them to let you
give your speech over Skype.
Really?
That's amazing!
And you gave me the robes
to give it in.
Thank you.
Yeah, now about those--
uh, they came from
a costume shop,
and all they had left
was sexy graduate,
so they...
might be a little short.
Short and sexy,
that's my wheelhouse.
Yeah!
Boy, oh, boy,
that's a lot of pieces.
You know
what they all do, right?
Yes, of course.
What about this one?
Well, I...
how familiar are you
with miniaturized
integrated logic circuits?
Not very.
That right there
is a miniaturized
integrated logic circuit.
So, can you
get it working?
I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
I've built components
for the space station.
I thought the zero-gravity
toilet didn't work.
It worked fine,
it just wasn't designed
for Russian cosmonauts
and their potato-based diet.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hello.
I have to return the helicopter.
My father...
What did you do?!
Well, don't worry.
He went to MIT.
He can solve any problem,
as long as it doesn't originate
in a Russian man's colon.
I don't freaking
believe this!
Relax, it'll be fine.
No, you have to put
this back together
right now,
so I can return it!
You can't return it.
Howard wiped his bottom
with the warranty.
What?!
I think metaphorically.
But he was in the bathroom
for a while.
Howard, my father cut me off.
I have to get my money back
for this!
Calm down.
Okay.
Okay, you're right.
It's time for me to step up
and take responsibility
for my life.
Be a man.
Hello, Mummy.
Hello, Rajesh.
What a nice surprise.
Well, I've been
thinking about you.
How are you doing?
Are you happy, Mummy?
Such a sweet boy for asking.
Can't believe you come from
the poison seed of your father.
Well, I like to think
I take mostly after you.
Anyway,
speaking of Daddy,
I had a very strange
conversation with him.
He said he couldn't afford
to send me money anymore
because of
his active social life.
What does that mean,
"active social life"?
Well, let's not talk about him
or whatever shenanigans
he may or may not be up to.
Let's talk about you.
Rajesh, is your father
seeing someone?
All I know, Mummy, is that
he's a single wealthy doctor,
and now, for some reason,
there's no money
for your little boy.
Well, however much money
your father was giving you,
I'll give you more.
Thank you, Mummy, I love you!
(quietly):
Helicopters for everybody!
What's taking so long?
LEONARD: I don't think
this is gonna work.
Just let me see.
Sweetie, you know
you're supposed to wear clothes
underneath a graduation gown.
A: surprised you know that.
B: I wanted to look like
a sexy graduate for you.
Oh.
Well, you do.
Oh. Thank you.
Yeah.
You're gonna be on Skype;
they're not gonna see your legs.
Well, I'm gonna go put on
some pants just in case.
But I have to say,
this is very freeing.
(chuckles)
Add a belt and I'll take you
someplace nice.
Oh.
Done and done.
Okay, I think
I've narrowed it down
to a faulty pin on
the onboard communication chip.
Very impressive.
You know, when you're
done with that,
can you look at this?
It doesn't make smoke anymore.
One toy at a time.
Mm. Sorry.
Ah, maybe it's for the best.
I hear locomotive smoke
is the second leading cause of
death among train aficionados.
What's the first one?
Suicide.
Wrong.
Obesity.
I have the tool you wanted.
Thank you.
You guys don't have
to go to the trouble.
I'm back in the money now;
I can just buy
another helicopter.
It's not about the money.
It's about solving a problem.
It's why I became an engineer.
It's what I like to do,
it's what I'm trained to do.
It's who I am.
Oh, look at you--
the little engineer that could.
Why don't you just
call tech support?
Hey!
Whoa!
Not cool!
What?
There's two kinds of
people in this world:
those who call
tech support
and those who make fun of the
people who call tech support.
I call tech support
all the time.
Ha-ha!
You call tech support!
What a baby!
And now, for our
commencement address,
one of our
most distinguished alumni,
noted Caltech physicist
Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
Members of the faculty,
students,
I'm excited to speak
to you today.
I can't help but remember
the last time
I was in this auditorium.
Two guys from the lacrosse team
played keep-away
with my asthma inhaler.
But enough about
my ten-year reunion.
I'd also like
to take a moment
to thank
my beautiful fiancée
for to helping make
this speech possible,
even though weather
nearly prevented it.
Oh. Hello.
I-I didn't know
he was gonna point it at me,
so... don't do drugs
and stay in school.
They're graduating.
Okay, bye!
All right, the power
supply is reconnected.
I think we're
back in business.
Let's just run a few tests
before we take it outside.
Sheldon, we got WiFi?
Check.
GPS?
Check.
Battery charged?
Check.
Four hours of our lives gone?
Check.
All right.
All systems go.
In five...
...four, three, two, one.
(electrical crackle)
That's what my
train used to do.
Ready to call
tech support?
Give me the number.
Probably wind up
talking to some foreign guy
who's reading from
the same manual I have.
(phone ringing)
It's my father, you jerks.
Hello, Daddy.
What did you say to your mother?
Nothing.
I was just calling to check in,
make sure she's doing okay.
Well, after talking to you,
she seems to think
I'm some sort of playboy.
Really?
I don't know where
she'd get an idea like that.
You know Mummy
and her crazy imagination.
I'm so lucky I take after you.
You think you take after me?
Well, I try to.
I certainly wouldn't
be a scientist
if you hadn't been
my role model.
Who wants to go to Vegas
in a real helicopter?!
It was L. Frank Baum who said,
"No thief, however skillful,
can rob one of knowledge,
and that is why knowledge is
the best and safest treasure."
Wow, I'm boring myself.
(sighs)
Sorry, I can't see
any of your faces right now,
but I bet they look like this.
Uh, you know,
I-I wrote an entire speech
to say how high school
prepares you
and what a wonderful
place it is,
but I hated it.
Maybe high school's great
if you look like this...
...but I didn't even feel like
I existed at that school.
And now that I think about it,
I bet a lot of you
feel the same way.
So, for the remainder
of my speech,
this is for the invisible kids.
Uh, maybe you never fit in.
Or maybe you're
the smallest kid in the school,
or the heaviest or the weirdest.
Maybe you're graduating
and you still haven't had
your first kiss.
By the way, 19;
and Geraldine Coco,
wherever you are, thank you.
Maybe you don't have
any friends.
And guess what? That's okay.
While all the popular kids
are off doing--
whatever, I don't know
what they were doing
'cause I was never there...
I'll-I'll tell you later.
My point is,
while you're spending
all this time on your own,
building computers
or practicing your cello,
what you're really doing
is becoming interesting.
And when people finally
do notice you,
they're gonna find someone
a lot cooler than they thought.
And for those of you
who were popular in high school,
it's over, sorry.
Thank you and congratulations.
TECH SUPPORT (recording):
Your call is important to us.
All our technicians are busy
helping other customers.
Please stay on the line
and someone will be
with you shortly.
(flute music playing)
What happened to me?
When did I become
an old man
baffled by modern
technology?
Next thing you know,
I'll be hitching my pants
up to my armpits
and complaining about
the awful music
the kids are listening to.
It is awful, isn't it?
Listen to that noise.
Hang on, hang on.
It's working!
I did it!
How'd you do that?
No idea, but
I did it!
Maybe you shouldn't be
flying it inside.
Well, I'm not flying it!
Then who is?
I don't know!
Must be getting a WiFi signal
from somewhere else!
Initiate landing sequence!
Initiate landing sequence!
(screams)
Hey, the camera's working!
Oh, look, it's me.
(screams)
(tech support talking
indistinctly over phone)
Yes, it's a robot uprising!
Call the police!
So you really think
they liked it?
Oh, sweetie, it was
the best speech I...
(both scream)
Don't worry,
everyone in here is safe.
the best one they make,
I just can't get it to work.
I'll figure it out.
It streams HD video straight
to your phone while it's flying.
Nice.
Where were you
when I was single?
Okay, we should leave in
about an hour. You all packed?
Uh, yeah, I just need to throw
in a few last minute things--
you know, makeup,
underwear, clothes.
If your bathroom floor
counts as a carry-on,
you're packed.
Leonard,
have you ever given
a high school
commencement speech before?
Nope. It's pretty exciting.
Aren't you afraid
of being blinded?
How would I be blinded?
At the end of the ceremony,
all the students throw
those pointy hats in the air.
It's all pomp and circumstance
until someone loses an eye.
I'll take my chances.
Fine.
I wonder if they make
"I told you so"
cards in braille.
Look, the problem
with commencement speeches
is that they're boring.
Ooh, do you own
a T-shirt cannon?
Why would he own
a T-shirt cannon?
I don't know. Why do I own one?
I think it's really nice
that you're sharing
this experience with Penny.
Mm, I thought
it'd be fun
to show her my old
stomping grounds.
I even know the exact spot
where they used to stomp me.
Well, now you
get to go back
as a successful
scientist.
With a beautiful girl
on your arm.
And a pointy hat sticking
out of your eyeball.
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
♪ Bang! ♪
How'd you get
ready so fast?
Oh, I pack light.
Once, I got through
an entire spring break
with nothing
but a long T-shirt and a belt.
Why did you need a belt?
It's called an
evening look.
I've never been to
New Jersey before.
It gets a bad rap from shows
like Jersey Shore
and Real Housewives.
So it's not
really like that?
No, it's like that.
Well, I'm excited
to show you around.
You think we'll have time
to visit your mom over there?
Yes. We'll also have time to put
my junk in a garlic press,
but I'm not
doing that either.
(phone chimes)
Uh-oh.
I just got an alert.
Our flight's
been canceled.
What?
Yeah, looks like
there's a big storm
all up the East Coast.
Well, can we get
on another airline?
I don't think so.
So, that's it?
We're not going?
I guess not.
(scoffs)
Well, that sucks.
Yeah.
I worked hard on
that speech, too.
Oh. You could tell it to me.
Oh, thank you,
but I'm okay.
Are you sure?
I could pretend I'm a
high school cheerleader
who can't control herself
around esteemed alumni.
Greetings, distinguished
cheerleaders.
Ooh!
Okay, the WiFi extender
is on, the camera's on,
they're both on
the same network;
we should be
getting an image.
All I see is a black screen.
And my own reflection.
I look sad.
Maybe we should
recalibrate it.
All right.
Step one:
rapidly flip
the calibration switch
from the fully up
to the fully down positions
for at least ten times.
It actually says "at least"?
Yeah.
Why would they say "at least"?
Is it ten toggles?
Is it 100 toggles? You know?
Is it 1,000 toggles?
10,000 toggles?
100,000 toggles?
Sheldon!
You see where
I'm going with this.
Just flip the switch
until the lights on the drone
change to solid yellow.
All right,
that seems simple enough.
Initiating calibration sequence.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten.
Well, I suppose ten
is technically "at least ten."
But they're still getting
at least one angry letter.
Now I rotate
it horizontally
on its center axis until
the lights turn green.
Initiating rotation sequence.
Don't look at me, initiate.
Oh...
What does red
and yellow mean?
It means the
calibration failed.
We have to start over.
Oh. Very well.
Reinitiating
calibration sequence.
One, two, three, four,
five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten...
...eleven.
It's a good thing
I didn't send that letter.
(Skype ringtone plays)
Mm. Hello, Daddy. What's up?
Not much, just wanted to see
how my son's doing.
Very well, thank you.
Are you still dating
that dermatologist?
If you could feel
how soft my skin is,
you wouldn't have to ask.
Oh, and there's something else
I wanted to ask you.
Why did you spend a month's rent
on a toy helicopter?!
Oh, you're where that bill goes.
I'm tired of indulging
your foolish lifestyle.
It's time you learned
responsibility.
And the only way
to teach you that
is to cut off your allowance.
No, Daddy, no!
There are lots of other ways
to teach me responsibility.
I know, you can give me an egg
and make me take care of it
for a week!
No, my mind is made up.
Starting now,
you're on your own.
But, Daddy,
I-I miss my family so much,
and with you and Mummy
getting a divorce,
I feel sad and empty.
Buying a little toy
every now and then
helps me fill that void.
So while I can't
hug you every day,
flying that helicopter...
I'm cutting you off.
Just to be clear,
financially or mid-sentence?
No red and yellow,
no red and yellow.
Yay!
It's green!
We did it!
Oh!
God, if it's this much fun to
rotate, imagine when we fly it.
Okay, now all I have to do
is rotate it vertically
until the lights turn off.
Oh, no!
Oh!
All right,
playtime's over.
Let's open
this baby up.
Won't that void the warranty?
Sheldon, I have a master's
degree in engineering.
I wipe my bottom
with warranties.
Except for AppleCare.
That pays for itself
in the long run.
Hi.
Hey, where'd you go?
I got you a little something
to cheer you up.
Really?
Sex last night,
pancakes this morning--
Am I dying?
(chuckles)
Just open it.
A cap and gown?
Why do I need a cap and gown?
Because you are giving
your commencement speech.
What are you talking about?
I called your old high school
and convinced them to let you
give your speech over Skype.
Really?
That's amazing!
And you gave me the robes
to give it in.
Thank you.
Yeah, now about those--
uh, they came from
a costume shop,
and all they had left
was sexy graduate,
so they...
might be a little short.
Short and sexy,
that's my wheelhouse.
Yeah!
Boy, oh, boy,
that's a lot of pieces.
You know
what they all do, right?
Yes, of course.
What about this one?
Well, I...
how familiar are you
with miniaturized
integrated logic circuits?
Not very.
That right there
is a miniaturized
integrated logic circuit.
So, can you
get it working?
I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
I've built components
for the space station.
I thought the zero-gravity
toilet didn't work.
It worked fine,
it just wasn't designed
for Russian cosmonauts
and their potato-based diet.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hello.
I have to return the helicopter.
My father...
What did you do?!
Well, don't worry.
He went to MIT.
He can solve any problem,
as long as it doesn't originate
in a Russian man's colon.
I don't freaking
believe this!
Relax, it'll be fine.
No, you have to put
this back together
right now,
so I can return it!
You can't return it.
Howard wiped his bottom
with the warranty.
What?!
I think metaphorically.
But he was in the bathroom
for a while.
Howard, my father cut me off.
I have to get my money back
for this!
Calm down.
Okay.
Okay, you're right.
It's time for me to step up
and take responsibility
for my life.
Be a man.
Hello, Mummy.
Hello, Rajesh.
What a nice surprise.
Well, I've been
thinking about you.
How are you doing?
Are you happy, Mummy?
Such a sweet boy for asking.
Can't believe you come from
the poison seed of your father.
Well, I like to think
I take mostly after you.
Anyway,
speaking of Daddy,
I had a very strange
conversation with him.
He said he couldn't afford
to send me money anymore
because of
his active social life.
What does that mean,
"active social life"?
Well, let's not talk about him
or whatever shenanigans
he may or may not be up to.
Let's talk about you.
Rajesh, is your father
seeing someone?
All I know, Mummy, is that
he's a single wealthy doctor,
and now, for some reason,
there's no money
for your little boy.
Well, however much money
your father was giving you,
I'll give you more.
Thank you, Mummy, I love you!
(quietly):
Helicopters for everybody!
What's taking so long?
LEONARD: I don't think
this is gonna work.
Just let me see.
Sweetie, you know
you're supposed to wear clothes
underneath a graduation gown.
A: surprised you know that.
B: I wanted to look like
a sexy graduate for you.
Oh.
Well, you do.
Oh. Thank you.
Yeah.
You're gonna be on Skype;
they're not gonna see your legs.
Well, I'm gonna go put on
some pants just in case.
But I have to say,
this is very freeing.
(chuckles)
Add a belt and I'll take you
someplace nice.
Oh.
Done and done.
Okay, I think
I've narrowed it down
to a faulty pin on
the onboard communication chip.
Very impressive.
You know, when you're
done with that,
can you look at this?
It doesn't make smoke anymore.
One toy at a time.
Mm. Sorry.
Ah, maybe it's for the best.
I hear locomotive smoke
is the second leading cause of
death among train aficionados.
What's the first one?
Suicide.
Wrong.
Obesity.
I have the tool you wanted.
Thank you.
You guys don't have
to go to the trouble.
I'm back in the money now;
I can just buy
another helicopter.
It's not about the money.
It's about solving a problem.
It's why I became an engineer.
It's what I like to do,
it's what I'm trained to do.
It's who I am.
Oh, look at you--
the little engineer that could.
Why don't you just
call tech support?
Hey!
Whoa!
Not cool!
What?
There's two kinds of
people in this world:
those who call
tech support
and those who make fun of the
people who call tech support.
I call tech support
all the time.
Ha-ha!
You call tech support!
What a baby!
And now, for our
commencement address,
one of our
most distinguished alumni,
noted Caltech physicist
Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
Members of the faculty,
students,
I'm excited to speak
to you today.
I can't help but remember
the last time
I was in this auditorium.
Two guys from the lacrosse team
played keep-away
with my asthma inhaler.
But enough about
my ten-year reunion.
I'd also like
to take a moment
to thank
my beautiful fiancée
for to helping make
this speech possible,
even though weather
nearly prevented it.
Oh. Hello.
I-I didn't know
he was gonna point it at me,
so... don't do drugs
and stay in school.
They're graduating.
Okay, bye!
All right, the power
supply is reconnected.
I think we're
back in business.
Let's just run a few tests
before we take it outside.
Sheldon, we got WiFi?
Check.
GPS?
Check.
Battery charged?
Check.
Four hours of our lives gone?
Check.
All right.
All systems go.
In five...
...four, three, two, one.
(electrical crackle)
That's what my
train used to do.
Ready to call
tech support?
Give me the number.
Probably wind up
talking to some foreign guy
who's reading from
the same manual I have.
(phone ringing)
It's my father, you jerks.
Hello, Daddy.
What did you say to your mother?
Nothing.
I was just calling to check in,
make sure she's doing okay.
Well, after talking to you,
she seems to think
I'm some sort of playboy.
Really?
I don't know where
she'd get an idea like that.
You know Mummy
and her crazy imagination.
I'm so lucky I take after you.
You think you take after me?
Well, I try to.
I certainly wouldn't
be a scientist
if you hadn't been
my role model.
Who wants to go to Vegas
in a real helicopter?!
It was L. Frank Baum who said,
"No thief, however skillful,
can rob one of knowledge,
and that is why knowledge is
the best and safest treasure."
Wow, I'm boring myself.
(sighs)
Sorry, I can't see
any of your faces right now,
but I bet they look like this.
Uh, you know,
I-I wrote an entire speech
to say how high school
prepares you
and what a wonderful
place it is,
but I hated it.
Maybe high school's great
if you look like this...
...but I didn't even feel like
I existed at that school.
And now that I think about it,
I bet a lot of you
feel the same way.
So, for the remainder
of my speech,
this is for the invisible kids.
Uh, maybe you never fit in.
Or maybe you're
the smallest kid in the school,
or the heaviest or the weirdest.
Maybe you're graduating
and you still haven't had
your first kiss.
By the way, 19;
and Geraldine Coco,
wherever you are, thank you.
Maybe you don't have
any friends.
And guess what? That's okay.
While all the popular kids
are off doing--
whatever, I don't know
what they were doing
'cause I was never there...
I'll-I'll tell you later.
My point is,
while you're spending
all this time on your own,
building computers
or practicing your cello,
what you're really doing
is becoming interesting.
And when people finally
do notice you,
they're gonna find someone
a lot cooler than they thought.
And for those of you
who were popular in high school,
it's over, sorry.
Thank you and congratulations.
TECH SUPPORT (recording):
Your call is important to us.
All our technicians are busy
helping other customers.
Please stay on the line
and someone will be
with you shortly.
(flute music playing)
What happened to me?
When did I become
an old man
baffled by modern
technology?
Next thing you know,
I'll be hitching my pants
up to my armpits
and complaining about
the awful music
the kids are listening to.
It is awful, isn't it?
Listen to that noise.
Hang on, hang on.
It's working!
I did it!
How'd you do that?
No idea, but
I did it!
Maybe you shouldn't be
flying it inside.
Well, I'm not flying it!
Then who is?
I don't know!
Must be getting a WiFi signal
from somewhere else!
Initiate landing sequence!
Initiate landing sequence!
(screams)
Hey, the camera's working!
Oh, look, it's me.
(screams)
(tech support talking
indistinctly over phone)
Yes, it's a robot uprising!
Call the police!
So you really think
they liked it?
Oh, sweetie, it was
the best speech I...
(both scream)
Don't worry,
everyone in here is safe.