The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - The White Asparagus Triangulation - full transcript
Sheldon believes that Leonard will wreck his relationship with Stephanie, so he decides to take matters into his own hands.
Penny,hello.
Penny 你好
Hey,Sheldon. 好呀 Sheldon
What is shaking? 有啥新鲜事不?
I'm sorry? 你说什么呢?
It's colloquial,a conversation opener. 一个口语化的开场白
So,do you find the weather satisfying? 天气很怡人 对吧?
Are you currently sharing in the triumph some local sports team? 为最近本地球队的胜绩兴奋吧?
What's wrong with you? You're freaking me out. 你到底咋了? 这样怪吓人的
I'm striking up a casual conversation with you. 我在跟你闲聊哇
S'up? 咋样?
Please don't do that. 你行行好 别
All right,but I'm given to understand that when you have something awkward to discuss with someone, 好吧 但我以为当你准备与某人 交谈尴尬之事前
it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit chat. 先用闲聊做些铺垫会自在一些
So,this wasn't the awkward part? 尴尬的部分还没到?
No. 没啊
Oh,all right. S'up? 好吧 啥~事啊?
Oh,good,I used that right. 很好 看来我这句用对了
Anyway,you're aware that Leonard has entered into a new romantic relationship 总之呢 你知道Leonard开始一段新恋情了
which includes a sexual component? 牵扯到性关系那种
Okay,feeling the awkward now. 我现在可感到尴尬了
Her name is Dr. Stephanie Barnett and she is a highly distinguished surgical resident at Freemont Memorial. 那女的叫Stephanie Barnett 弗里蒙特医院的有名外科住院医生
Yeah,Leonard told me. 知道 Leonard给我说过的
Good. What he may have left out is how important this relationship is to me. 那就好 有个事他可能忘说了 就是这段关系对我至关重要
To you? 对你重要?
Yes,see,of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, 在Leonard交往过的 为数不多的女人中
she's the only one I have ever found tolerable. 她是唯一一个我可以忍受的
Well,what about me? 那我呢?
The statement stands for itself. 事实如此 由不得我
Well,aren't you sweet? 难为你了
Anyway,should you have any interaction with her, 你是不是该和她交流下的?
it would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival. 免得她把你当竞争对手
Yeah,I think she's pretty safe. 我觉得她可安全的很咯
You say that now,but consider the following scenario: 你现在是这样说 但设想下哈
You're sitting in your apartment,it's late,you're alone. 可当你夜深独居闺房 孤枕难眠
Your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and progesterone 雌激素和孕酮刺激你的下丘脑 使你饥渴难耐
and suddenly even Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate. 就连Leonard也突然成为 适合的交配对象了
Or a,uh,"hookup" as it's referred to by today's urban youth. 或者说"吊男人" 当今大都市 青年人口头常念叨的
- Really? - Yes. - 是咩? - 是的
Now,should that happen,I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido. 以防万一 我希望你找些 压抑性冲动的法子
I could think about you. 那我想想你就解决了
Fine,whatever works. 可以 只要奏效我无所谓
Always nice talking to you,Sheldon. 和你聊天总是很"愉快" Sheldon
Uh,peace out! 瘪瘪!
The Big Bang Theory Season02 Episode09 天才理论传 第二季 第9集
Well,this is very pleasant. 这真是太惬意了
Glad you're enjoying yourself. 很高兴你开心
And you said there'd never be enough pasta for the three of us. 你还说意面肯定不够三人吃咧
I stand corrected. 我认错
You know,Italian housewives have a rule of thumb. 要知道 意大利主妇们有套经验
A ndful of dry pasta about an inch in diameter 一把直径大约一英寸的干意面
is sufficient for each person as it doubles in volume when cooked. 煮熟后量会翻倍 足够每个人吃了
- That's very interesting. - Thank you. - 真是有趣 - 谢
She doesn't mean it. She's just being nice. 她不是那意思 只是客套话
Well,Stephanie,since Leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball, Stephanie 既然Leonard不要聊天
I guess I'll just have to pick it up. 让我找点话题接过来吧
Have you ever witnessed a violent crime? 你目击过暴力犯罪吗?
- No. - Good. - 没 - 那就好
What's your favorite fruit? 你最喜欢什么水果?
Uh,strawberries. 草莓吧
Hmm,technically not a fruit,but all right. 准确的讲不算水果 但还好
Where did you do your medical internship? 你在哪个医院做实习医生的?
Uh,Lawrence Memorial in Galveston,Texas. 德州加尔维斯顿的劳伦斯医院
Really? That's where I was born! 真的? 那可是我的出生地!
You're kidding! 不是开玩笑吧!
I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. 我童年不少时间在那医院度过的
When I was 12,I got to re there in a helicopter. 我12那年 被直升飞机送去的
Why,w-w-what happened? 为什么 发生了什么?
Radiation burns. 放射线烧伤
A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner. 自制分层造影(CAT)扫描机时 发生了点小事故
I'm sorry,you tried to build your own CAT scanner? 不是吧 你想自制CAT扫描仪?
No,I didn't try,I succeeded. 不 不是想 我做出来了
In fact,I was briefly able to see the inside of my sister's guinea pig,Snowball, 我基本看到我姐的豚鼠-雪球球的内部咯
before he caught fire. 然后它就着火了
It led to an interesting expression in our house: 于是就有了我家那句玩笑话
Not a Snowball's chance in a CAT scanner. 雪球别想在扫描仪里活命 (CAT=猫 雪球=豚鼠)
Uh,Sheldon? 嗯 Sheldon?
Excuse me. 抱歉离开下
When I come back,just for fun,the subject will be alternative history. 等我回来 为了有趣些 话题将是:历史的分叉点
Specifically,how would the Civil War have gone differently 尤其是 如果林肯是未来送来的机器人
if Lincoln had been a robot sent from the future? 内战会有如何不同的发展呢?
Look at that,there's even pasta left over. 看嘛 还有没吃完的意面
Do you understand that this was supposed to be a date? 你知道这本应是次约会吗?
I do. Do you? 我知道哦 你知道吗?
Because frankly,you've been in a foul mood since I sat down. 老实讲 因为自我坐下 你的心情就一直很恶劣
Okay,here's my question. 好嘛 那我问你
Why did you sit down? 你为啥要坐下来?
To help. 帮忙呀
Look,if you fail at this relationship,and history suggests you will, 如果你这次搞砸 历史证明你会哟
then we risk losing the medical officer that our landing party has always needed. 那我们有可能失去登陆先头部队 一直需要的医疗官哦
What landing party? 什么登陆先头部队? (星际旅行每次都会先遣队登陆探险)
You're Kirk,I'm Spock,Wolowitz is Scotty,Koothrappali is the guy who always gets killed... 你是Kirk 我是Spock Wolowitz是Scotty Koothrappali是那个老被干掉的角色...
and now we've got McCoy. 现在我们可算找到McCoy了 (McCoy星际中的医疗官)
So,we're all standing around looking at the post-op X ray and there it is, 我们都围着看手术后的x光片
clear as day,right in the guy's chest cavity... 十分显眼 就在那家伙的胸腔里
one of my earrings. 我的一只耳环
Oh,my God,what did you do? 我的天 你都做了些什么啊?
What do you think I did? 我还能做什么?
I discreetly slipped off the other earring,put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there! 我小心地取下另外一只 放进口袋 然后溜了出来!
I have a bone to pick with you,sir. 先生 我可得和你评评理
- Hi,Sheldon. - Hi,Stephanie. - 你好 Sheldon - 你好 Stephanie
I'm sorry I'm late,but your companion left the most indecipherable invitation. 抱歉 迟来了 你的同伴留下了 最难破译的邀请函
What invitation? 什么邀请?
We're going to the movies. 我们看电影去了
What movie? What theater? What time? 啥电影 啥影院 啥时候
If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you,you couldn't have done a better job. 如果你想让别人找不到你 你应该做的更绝一点
Oh,clearly I could have. 哦 很明显我是该这么做
It took me nearly 20 minutes to go through the browser history on your computer to see 我用了将近20分钟 查看你电脑里的历史记录
what movie times you looked up. 查找你都搜索过什么电影
Wait here,I'll find us seats. 呆在这 我去找找咱们的座位
Uh,no,we have seats. 不用阿 我们有座位了
Not the right seats. 不是"正确"的座位
What is he doing? 他在搞什么飞机
He's finding the acoustic sweet spot. 他要找一个"余音绕梁"的地儿
Does he always do this? 他经常这么干吗
Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone. 有时他还会自带玩具木琴
I am really sorry about this. 我对这一切很抱歉
No,it's fine. You know,he's sweet. 不 我没事 你知道的 他人很好
My apologies,you've been sitting in it all along. 怪我 不就是你们一直坐的地儿嘛
Leonard,you want to slide over one? Leonard 你能往那边移一个位置吗
No,just sit here. 不行 你好好坐这就得了
Oh,yeah,this is it. 乖乖 就是这儿了
Leonard. Leonard? Leonard? Leonard
What,Sheldon? What,Sheldon? What,Sheldon? 干嘛 Sheldon
Tell me what you see here. 告诉我你看到了什么
The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial? 这笨重的电脑将会是我谋杀你的凶器?
This is Stephanie's Facebook page. 这是Stephanie的Facebook
Now,where it should say "in a relationship," what does it say? 本该填"恋爱中"的地方 看她写了啥
Stephanie Barnett is single. Stephanie Barnett 单身
Yeah,furthermore,earlier this evening,she threw a digital sheep at some guy named Mike. 没错 还有呢 今晚早些时候 她送了一叫Mike的一只电子宠物羊
Who's Mike? Why does he get a digital sheep and not you? Mike是哪根葱 为什么他得到 一只宠物羊而你没有
It's just her Facebook page and we've only been going out a couple of weeks. 这只不过是她的Facebook 拜托 我们才拍拖了几个星期
You don't see it,do you? We're losing her. 你眼瞎了吗 我们要失去她了
Okay,I'm going to make this very simple for you. 这样子 我和你直说了吧
You are not in this relationship. 你和她没有什么关系
I am. 我才有
Ergo,you have no say in anything that happens between me and Stephanie. 所以说 我和Stephanie的事 都轮不到你来插嘴
I'm afraid I can't allow that. 很抱歉 恐怕我不能放任不管
Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104,Section A: 根据星际舰队总则104条A款
You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command. 你已经被视为渎职 我因此解除你的职务
General Order 104,Section A does not apply in this situation. 星际舰队总则104条A款 不适用于这个状况
Give me one good reason why not. 给我一个信服的理由 为什么不行
Because this is not Star Trek! 因为这不是星际迷航
Penny? Penny? Penny? Penny Penny Penny
What? 什么事
This is banana bread. 这是香蕉面包
This is a door knob. 这是门把手
It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can be a precursor 我认为主动送来食物就意味着
to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat. 即刻邀请对方进门并聊天
Sheldon,would youlike to come in? Sheldon 你想进来坐坐吗
I suppose I could spare a few minutes. 我想我应该可以小待一会
Were you robbed? 你被抄家了吗
No. 没有
How can you be sure? 你怎么能这么肯定
Sheldon,what do you want? Sheldon 你到底要干嘛
I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you, 我肯定你已经见怪不怪了
but Leonard is failing in yet another relationship. Leonard的恋情又一次玩完了
He's having problems with Stephanie? 他和Stephanie要吹了吗
She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the Internet. 她送了一个电子宠物给了网上的陌生男子
If Iave any hope of keeping them together,I need data. 想要他们俩破镜重圆的话 我需要统计数据
Specifically,I need to know exactly what Leonard did 具体来说呢 我想知道Leonard做了些什么
that caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks. 能让你对他的小朋友敞开大门
- What? - Again,urban slang. - 什么 - 再说一次 俚语
In which,I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency. 我觉得我已经说的很溜了
So,what is the "down" and the "low"? "低潮"啊啥的是什么?
And don't worry,this is all entirely confidential, 别担心 这完全保密
so,you feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom. 卧室里的任何"不愉快" 你都可以和我敞开心扉
We never got to the bedroom. 我们没有到那一步
Because? 原因是
Oh,okay,all right,you know what? 好的 这样子 你知道吗
I'll tell you what happened. 我告诉你发生了什么
We were young,we were very much in love, 我们两小无猜 坠入爱河不能自拔
but we could only communicate through a time-traveling mailbox at my lake house. 却只能守在湖边小屋 用一个穿越时空的信箱互相通信
It's not enough that you made me watch that movie,but now you mock me with it? 你逼着我看了那电影还不够 现在还要戏弄我是吧
Gentlemen,I have a question about dating and relationships. 先生们 我有一个拍拖方面的问题
You told me you were going to have the talk with him. 你和我说过 你会和他好好谈谈的
I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me. 我一直在等别人跟我谈呢
More to the point,it's about finding a way to keep Leonard and Stephanie together. 总的来说 就是要想办法 让Leonard和Stephanie在一起
Oh,I don't think you can. 我觉得你办不到
Well,why not? 为什么
Look at Leonard's record. 27 days with Joyce Kim. 看看Leonard的情史 和Joyce Kim共度了27天
During which she defected to North Korea. 包括她去朝鲜的那段时间
Two booty calls with Leslie Winkle. 和Leslie Winkle做了两次炮友
For which she awarded him the nickname Speed of Light Leonard. 她还授予了他一个外号 闪电侠Leonard
And the three hour dinner with Penny. 和Penny共进了三小时的晚餐
Which would have been two and a half if they ordered the souffle when they sat down. 从他们坐下来 点了蛋奶酥算起 只有两个半小时
Based on the geometric progression, 根据等比级数定律
his relationship with Stephanie should have ended after 20 minutes. 他和Stephanie的关系本应在 见面后的20分钟后结束
Yes,I'm aware of the math. 这个我会算
Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth. Y等于27天的12次方根
The issue remains. 问题依旧
How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection? 我们怎么避免他被甩这个怪圈呢
Well,if you want to guarantee his appeal to Stephanie, 想要确保他一直和Stephanie在一起
your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet. 大招就是宰了地球上的其他男人
I'll tell you what you shouldn't do. 我来告诉你啥不该做
Don't shpritz him with that body spray from the commercial where the women undress when they smell it. 不要往他身上喷广告里那种香水 女人一闻到立马脱衣服那个
That doesn't work at all. 一点都不管用
No matter how much you put on. 不管你往身上喷多少
So,that's all you've got? Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"? 这就是你们给出的建议 种族灭决和少用古龙水
- Yeah. - Yes. - 对头 - 没错
Penny. Penny? Penny Penny
What? 咋了
Penny? Penny
Zucchini bread. 青瓜面包
Oh,thank you. 谢谢
- May I come in? - No. - 我能进来吗 - 不行
I see. Apparently,my earlier inquiry regarding you and Leonard crossed some sort of line. 我知道 之前我询问你和Leonard的 问题有点过头了
I apologize. 我郑重道歉
Well,thank you. 谢谢
- So,have you and I returned to a social equilibrium? - Yes. - 那么 你和我回到社会平衡点上了? - 是的
Great. New topic. 很好 新话题
Where are you in your menstrual cycle? 你的经期是什么时候?
What? 什么?
I've been doing some research online,and apparently female primates, 我在网上做研究 很显然 雌性灵长类
you know,uh,apes,chimpanzees,you. 呃 像猿类 黑猩猩 还有你
They find their mate more desirable when he's being courted by another female. 当雄性配偶被其他雌性包围时 对他们的欲望会显著提高
Now,this effect is intensified when the rival female 这种饥渴度会随着竞争雌性的
is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation. 排卵信息素的分泌而增加
Which brings me back to my question.Where are you in your-- 跟着也就回到我的问题 你的经期是....
Clearly,I'm 14 days too early. 看样子 她大姨妈还有14天才来
All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria, 如果他们能治愈黄热病和疟疾
why can't they do something about lactose intolerance? 咋就不想办法治治不耐乳糖症呢?
Leonard,you're going to have to let this go. Leonard 别再折磨自己了
You had a little cheese dip,you farted. 吃点乳酪就放屁
I thought it was cute. 我觉得很可爱呀
Oh,hi,Stephanie. 噢 嗨 Stephanie
Want some more wine? 还要酒吗?
Yeah,I mean,I assume I'm not driving anywhere tonight. 好的呀 我想今晚我不用开车了
What are you doing? 你在干嘛?
I have a craving for white asparagus that apparently is destined to go unsatisfied. 我很渴望吃白芦笋 看情形是没法满足了
Excuse me. 失陪下
What the hell is wrong with you? 你到底在干嘛?
I'm helping you with Stephanie. 我在帮你和Stephanie
By making constipated moose sounds? 就凭学便秘的麋鹿叫?
When I fail to open this jar and you succeed,it will establish you as the "alpha" male. 我开不了这瓶罐头 而你能打开 就可以树立你的猛男形象
You see...when a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination, 是这样的... 当雄性在雌性面前展现肌肉
she produces the hormone oxytocin. 雌性会释放荷尔蒙催产素
If the two of you then engage in intercourse, 如果你俩之后进行性交
this will create the biochemical reaction in the brain 大脑里会产生生化反应
which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love." 普通人会天真地以为是"相爱了"
Would it work if I just punched you in the face? 那揍你一拳能不能达到效果?
Yes,actually it would,but let's see how the lid goes. 嗯 应该可以 但我们还是拧盖子吧
I'm not strong enough,Leonard,you'll have to do it. 我不够强壮 Leonard 你得帮帮我
Oh,for God's sakes. 噢 上帝呀
Go ahead,it's pre-loosened. 来吧 这罐之前开封过的
Do you want some help with that? 要不要帮忙?
No,no,no,I got it. 不 不 不 我能搞定
No,yeah,yeah,he's got it,and that's not surprising. 是的 是的 他能搞定 没啥意外的
This is something I long ago came to peace with in my role as the beta male. 我早就安分于自己的小弟身份
Open it. 快打开
Oh,my God,are you okay? 噢 天哪 你还好吧?
No,I'm not. I'm bleeding. 不 我不好 我在流血
Like a gladiator! 如角斗士般淌着血!
Oh,honey,you're going to need stitches. 噢 宝贝 你得缝针了
Stitches? With a needle? 缝针? 用针来缝?
Well,yeah,I mean,just a few. 嗯 是的 用不了几针
Oh,okay,yeah,hang on a sec. 噢 好的 等一下下
FYI,I was defrosting a steak in there. 那啥 我放了块牛肉在那里解冻
What a beautiful job Stephanie did. Stephanie的活干得真漂亮
I might have gone with a mattress suture instead of a blanket stitch, 虽然我更喜欢褥式缝合法 而不是毯边锁缝针法
but you can' argue with her results. 但她的杰作无可挑剔
It's a shame it won't scar. 不会结疤真是可惜了
The war wound is a time-honored badge of masculinity. 战伤是男子气概的永恒标志
I can't remember a time when you weren't talking. 我不记得你啥时候消停过
Just for the record,my efforts to establish you as the alpha male 声明一下 我努力为你营造猛男形象
were not aided by you bursting into tears. 却被你的嚎啕大哭给毁了
I did not burst into tears,my eyes jusgot a little watery. 我才没哭呢 只是我眼睛湿润了一下
Watery? 湿润?
She stuck a needle into my hand! 她可是往我手上插针呀!!
Hey,how's my big cry baby. 嘿 我的爱哭宝贝怎么样了
I didn't cry. 我没有哭
Okay,I'm just teasing you. But,yeah,you did. 好吧 算我在戏弄你 但是 你的确哭了
Okay,it's all good. What do you say we get you home and put you to bed? 很好 伤口没问题 我们把你送回家 躺床上去怎么样?
Oh,are you still going to spend the night? 噢 你还会留下过夜吗?
Uh,no,I think that you probablyeed to rest. 呃 不了 我想你需要好好休息
She's right. As long as you're vomiting,coitus is contra-indicated. 她说的对 只要你还在呕吐 性交不会爽到哪里去
Thank you,Dr. Cooper. 谢谢你 Cooper医生
You're welcome,Dr. Hofstadter. 不客气 Hofstadter博士
Okay,I'm going to go get your discharge papers. 好吧 我去拿你的出院单
What? 干嘛?
Well,you seem like a perfectly pleasant person. 你看上去是个很亲切的人
I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you. 真不明白 要女人爱你咋就那么困难
Hey,can you open this for me? 嘿 能帮我打开吗?
- Can I see your stitches? - Sure. - 能看下你的缝线吗? - 当然
Answering the question once and for all why Wolowitz bailed out of medical school. 解答了为何Wolowitz退出医学院的问题
Leonard,congratulations. Leonard 恭喜你
What for? 恭喜什么?
Your Facebook status update. 你Facebook的状态更新了
Leonard Hofstadter is "in a relationship." Leonard Hofstadter"恋爱中"
What? No. No,that's not right. 什么? 不 不 不对啊
Oh,man,did you switch your status before she did? 噢 伙计 你在她改状态之前就改了?
Speaking as an expert,way to look needy. 身为专家 我不得不说 你太饥渴了呗
Seriously? You went first,after only two weeks? 真的? 你想改了 才两周诶
That's bold... 真是厉害呀...
It's not bold,it's a mistake. I didn't change my status. 不是厉害 是错误 我没有改我的状态呀
Well,then who did? 那是谁改的?
I had no choice. He cried in front of her. 我没的选择 他在她面前哭了
You hacked my Facebook account? 你黑进我的Facebook账号?
Oh,it's hardly hacking when you use the same password for everything,"Kal-El." 噢 你所有的密码都是"Kal-EL" 这还用得着我黑吗?
Are you insane? 你是不是疯了?
Now she's going to think I'm desperate. 现在她会以为我很心急
You've destroyed this relationship! 你毁了这段恋情!
And you want to know what the worst part is? 想知道最糟糕的是什么吗?
You don't even understand what you did wrong because you can't conceive of something 你甚至不知道自己哪里做错了
that you are not an expert in! 因为你不在行的事你是干不来的!!
- In which I am not an expert... - Don't even! - 我不是专家... - 别跟我辩!
I don't want to hear another word out of you. 我不想再听你说一个字
What's wrong,Lassie? Timmy fall down the well? 怎么了 小妹妹 Timmy掉进井里去了?
She just updated her Facebook status. 她刚刚更新了Facebook状态
"Stephanie Barnett is in a relationship with Leonard Hofstadter." "Stephanie Barnett和 Leonard Hofstadter恋爱中"
Really? 真的?
Oh,look at that. I have a girlfriend. 噢 看哪 我有女朋友了
If I am permitted to speak again,Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win. 如果能允许我再次说话 制胜法宝Sheldon Cooper博士
Hey,Sheldon. 好呀 Sheldon
What is shaking? 有啥新鲜事不?
I'm sorry? 你说什么呢?
It's colloquial,a conversation opener. 一个口语化的开场白
So,do you find the weather satisfying? 天气很怡人 对吧?
Are you currently sharing in the triumph some local sports team? 为最近本地球队的胜绩兴奋吧?
What's wrong with you? You're freaking me out. 你到底咋了? 这样怪吓人的
I'm striking up a casual conversation with you. 我在跟你闲聊哇
S'up? 咋样?
Please don't do that. 你行行好 别
All right,but I'm given to understand that when you have something awkward to discuss with someone, 好吧 但我以为当你准备与某人 交谈尴尬之事前
it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit chat. 先用闲聊做些铺垫会自在一些
So,this wasn't the awkward part? 尴尬的部分还没到?
No. 没啊
Oh,all right. S'up? 好吧 啥~事啊?
Oh,good,I used that right. 很好 看来我这句用对了
Anyway,you're aware that Leonard has entered into a new romantic relationship 总之呢 你知道Leonard开始一段新恋情了
which includes a sexual component? 牵扯到性关系那种
Okay,feeling the awkward now. 我现在可感到尴尬了
Her name is Dr. Stephanie Barnett and she is a highly distinguished surgical resident at Freemont Memorial. 那女的叫Stephanie Barnett 弗里蒙特医院的有名外科住院医生
Yeah,Leonard told me. 知道 Leonard给我说过的
Good. What he may have left out is how important this relationship is to me. 那就好 有个事他可能忘说了 就是这段关系对我至关重要
To you? 对你重要?
Yes,see,of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, 在Leonard交往过的 为数不多的女人中
she's the only one I have ever found tolerable. 她是唯一一个我可以忍受的
Well,what about me? 那我呢?
The statement stands for itself. 事实如此 由不得我
Well,aren't you sweet? 难为你了
Anyway,should you have any interaction with her, 你是不是该和她交流下的?
it would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival. 免得她把你当竞争对手
Yeah,I think she's pretty safe. 我觉得她可安全的很咯
You say that now,but consider the following scenario: 你现在是这样说 但设想下哈
You're sitting in your apartment,it's late,you're alone. 可当你夜深独居闺房 孤枕难眠
Your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and progesterone 雌激素和孕酮刺激你的下丘脑 使你饥渴难耐
and suddenly even Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate. 就连Leonard也突然成为 适合的交配对象了
Or a,uh,"hookup" as it's referred to by today's urban youth. 或者说"吊男人" 当今大都市 青年人口头常念叨的
- Really? - Yes. - 是咩? - 是的
Now,should that happen,I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido. 以防万一 我希望你找些 压抑性冲动的法子
I could think about you. 那我想想你就解决了
Fine,whatever works. 可以 只要奏效我无所谓
Always nice talking to you,Sheldon. 和你聊天总是很"愉快" Sheldon
Uh,peace out! 瘪瘪!
The Big Bang Theory Season02 Episode09 天才理论传 第二季 第9集
Well,this is very pleasant. 这真是太惬意了
Glad you're enjoying yourself. 很高兴你开心
And you said there'd never be enough pasta for the three of us. 你还说意面肯定不够三人吃咧
I stand corrected. 我认错
You know,Italian housewives have a rule of thumb. 要知道 意大利主妇们有套经验
A ndful of dry pasta about an inch in diameter 一把直径大约一英寸的干意面
is sufficient for each person as it doubles in volume when cooked. 煮熟后量会翻倍 足够每个人吃了
- That's very interesting. - Thank you. - 真是有趣 - 谢
She doesn't mean it. She's just being nice. 她不是那意思 只是客套话
Well,Stephanie,since Leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball, Stephanie 既然Leonard不要聊天
I guess I'll just have to pick it up. 让我找点话题接过来吧
Have you ever witnessed a violent crime? 你目击过暴力犯罪吗?
- No. - Good. - 没 - 那就好
What's your favorite fruit? 你最喜欢什么水果?
Uh,strawberries. 草莓吧
Hmm,technically not a fruit,but all right. 准确的讲不算水果 但还好
Where did you do your medical internship? 你在哪个医院做实习医生的?
Uh,Lawrence Memorial in Galveston,Texas. 德州加尔维斯顿的劳伦斯医院
Really? That's where I was born! 真的? 那可是我的出生地!
You're kidding! 不是开玩笑吧!
I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. 我童年不少时间在那医院度过的
When I was 12,I got to re there in a helicopter. 我12那年 被直升飞机送去的
Why,w-w-what happened? 为什么 发生了什么?
Radiation burns. 放射线烧伤
A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner. 自制分层造影(CAT)扫描机时 发生了点小事故
I'm sorry,you tried to build your own CAT scanner? 不是吧 你想自制CAT扫描仪?
No,I didn't try,I succeeded. 不 不是想 我做出来了
In fact,I was briefly able to see the inside of my sister's guinea pig,Snowball, 我基本看到我姐的豚鼠-雪球球的内部咯
before he caught fire. 然后它就着火了
It led to an interesting expression in our house: 于是就有了我家那句玩笑话
Not a Snowball's chance in a CAT scanner. 雪球别想在扫描仪里活命 (CAT=猫 雪球=豚鼠)
Uh,Sheldon? 嗯 Sheldon?
Excuse me. 抱歉离开下
When I come back,just for fun,the subject will be alternative history. 等我回来 为了有趣些 话题将是:历史的分叉点
Specifically,how would the Civil War have gone differently 尤其是 如果林肯是未来送来的机器人
if Lincoln had been a robot sent from the future? 内战会有如何不同的发展呢?
Look at that,there's even pasta left over. 看嘛 还有没吃完的意面
Do you understand that this was supposed to be a date? 你知道这本应是次约会吗?
I do. Do you? 我知道哦 你知道吗?
Because frankly,you've been in a foul mood since I sat down. 老实讲 因为自我坐下 你的心情就一直很恶劣
Okay,here's my question. 好嘛 那我问你
Why did you sit down? 你为啥要坐下来?
To help. 帮忙呀
Look,if you fail at this relationship,and history suggests you will, 如果你这次搞砸 历史证明你会哟
then we risk losing the medical officer that our landing party has always needed. 那我们有可能失去登陆先头部队 一直需要的医疗官哦
What landing party? 什么登陆先头部队? (星际旅行每次都会先遣队登陆探险)
You're Kirk,I'm Spock,Wolowitz is Scotty,Koothrappali is the guy who always gets killed... 你是Kirk 我是Spock Wolowitz是Scotty Koothrappali是那个老被干掉的角色...
and now we've got McCoy. 现在我们可算找到McCoy了 (McCoy星际中的医疗官)
So,we're all standing around looking at the post-op X ray and there it is, 我们都围着看手术后的x光片
clear as day,right in the guy's chest cavity... 十分显眼 就在那家伙的胸腔里
one of my earrings. 我的一只耳环
Oh,my God,what did you do? 我的天 你都做了些什么啊?
What do you think I did? 我还能做什么?
I discreetly slipped off the other earring,put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there! 我小心地取下另外一只 放进口袋 然后溜了出来!
I have a bone to pick with you,sir. 先生 我可得和你评评理
- Hi,Sheldon. - Hi,Stephanie. - 你好 Sheldon - 你好 Stephanie
I'm sorry I'm late,but your companion left the most indecipherable invitation. 抱歉 迟来了 你的同伴留下了 最难破译的邀请函
What invitation? 什么邀请?
We're going to the movies. 我们看电影去了
What movie? What theater? What time? 啥电影 啥影院 啥时候
If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you,you couldn't have done a better job. 如果你想让别人找不到你 你应该做的更绝一点
Oh,clearly I could have. 哦 很明显我是该这么做
It took me nearly 20 minutes to go through the browser history on your computer to see 我用了将近20分钟 查看你电脑里的历史记录
what movie times you looked up. 查找你都搜索过什么电影
Wait here,I'll find us seats. 呆在这 我去找找咱们的座位
Uh,no,we have seats. 不用阿 我们有座位了
Not the right seats. 不是"正确"的座位
What is he doing? 他在搞什么飞机
He's finding the acoustic sweet spot. 他要找一个"余音绕梁"的地儿
Does he always do this? 他经常这么干吗
Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone. 有时他还会自带玩具木琴
I am really sorry about this. 我对这一切很抱歉
No,it's fine. You know,he's sweet. 不 我没事 你知道的 他人很好
My apologies,you've been sitting in it all along. 怪我 不就是你们一直坐的地儿嘛
Leonard,you want to slide over one? Leonard 你能往那边移一个位置吗
No,just sit here. 不行 你好好坐这就得了
Oh,yeah,this is it. 乖乖 就是这儿了
Leonard. Leonard? Leonard? Leonard
What,Sheldon? What,Sheldon? What,Sheldon? 干嘛 Sheldon
Tell me what you see here. 告诉我你看到了什么
The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial? 这笨重的电脑将会是我谋杀你的凶器?
This is Stephanie's Facebook page. 这是Stephanie的Facebook
Now,where it should say "in a relationship," what does it say? 本该填"恋爱中"的地方 看她写了啥
Stephanie Barnett is single. Stephanie Barnett 单身
Yeah,furthermore,earlier this evening,she threw a digital sheep at some guy named Mike. 没错 还有呢 今晚早些时候 她送了一叫Mike的一只电子宠物羊
Who's Mike? Why does he get a digital sheep and not you? Mike是哪根葱 为什么他得到 一只宠物羊而你没有
It's just her Facebook page and we've only been going out a couple of weeks. 这只不过是她的Facebook 拜托 我们才拍拖了几个星期
You don't see it,do you? We're losing her. 你眼瞎了吗 我们要失去她了
Okay,I'm going to make this very simple for you. 这样子 我和你直说了吧
You are not in this relationship. 你和她没有什么关系
I am. 我才有
Ergo,you have no say in anything that happens between me and Stephanie. 所以说 我和Stephanie的事 都轮不到你来插嘴
I'm afraid I can't allow that. 很抱歉 恐怕我不能放任不管
Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104,Section A: 根据星际舰队总则104条A款
You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command. 你已经被视为渎职 我因此解除你的职务
General Order 104,Section A does not apply in this situation. 星际舰队总则104条A款 不适用于这个状况
Give me one good reason why not. 给我一个信服的理由 为什么不行
Because this is not Star Trek! 因为这不是星际迷航
Penny? Penny? Penny? Penny Penny Penny
What? 什么事
This is banana bread. 这是香蕉面包
This is a door knob. 这是门把手
It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can be a precursor 我认为主动送来食物就意味着
to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat. 即刻邀请对方进门并聊天
Sheldon,would youlike to come in? Sheldon 你想进来坐坐吗
I suppose I could spare a few minutes. 我想我应该可以小待一会
Were you robbed? 你被抄家了吗
No. 没有
How can you be sure? 你怎么能这么肯定
Sheldon,what do you want? Sheldon 你到底要干嘛
I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you, 我肯定你已经见怪不怪了
but Leonard is failing in yet another relationship. Leonard的恋情又一次玩完了
He's having problems with Stephanie? 他和Stephanie要吹了吗
She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the Internet. 她送了一个电子宠物给了网上的陌生男子
If Iave any hope of keeping them together,I need data. 想要他们俩破镜重圆的话 我需要统计数据
Specifically,I need to know exactly what Leonard did 具体来说呢 我想知道Leonard做了些什么
that caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks. 能让你对他的小朋友敞开大门
- What? - Again,urban slang. - 什么 - 再说一次 俚语
In which,I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency. 我觉得我已经说的很溜了
So,what is the "down" and the "low"? "低潮"啊啥的是什么?
And don't worry,this is all entirely confidential, 别担心 这完全保密
so,you feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom. 卧室里的任何"不愉快" 你都可以和我敞开心扉
We never got to the bedroom. 我们没有到那一步
Because? 原因是
Oh,okay,all right,you know what? 好的 这样子 你知道吗
I'll tell you what happened. 我告诉你发生了什么
We were young,we were very much in love, 我们两小无猜 坠入爱河不能自拔
but we could only communicate through a time-traveling mailbox at my lake house. 却只能守在湖边小屋 用一个穿越时空的信箱互相通信
It's not enough that you made me watch that movie,but now you mock me with it? 你逼着我看了那电影还不够 现在还要戏弄我是吧
Gentlemen,I have a question about dating and relationships. 先生们 我有一个拍拖方面的问题
You told me you were going to have the talk with him. 你和我说过 你会和他好好谈谈的
I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me. 我一直在等别人跟我谈呢
More to the point,it's about finding a way to keep Leonard and Stephanie together. 总的来说 就是要想办法 让Leonard和Stephanie在一起
Oh,I don't think you can. 我觉得你办不到
Well,why not? 为什么
Look at Leonard's record. 27 days with Joyce Kim. 看看Leonard的情史 和Joyce Kim共度了27天
During which she defected to North Korea. 包括她去朝鲜的那段时间
Two booty calls with Leslie Winkle. 和Leslie Winkle做了两次炮友
For which she awarded him the nickname Speed of Light Leonard. 她还授予了他一个外号 闪电侠Leonard
And the three hour dinner with Penny. 和Penny共进了三小时的晚餐
Which would have been two and a half if they ordered the souffle when they sat down. 从他们坐下来 点了蛋奶酥算起 只有两个半小时
Based on the geometric progression, 根据等比级数定律
his relationship with Stephanie should have ended after 20 minutes. 他和Stephanie的关系本应在 见面后的20分钟后结束
Yes,I'm aware of the math. 这个我会算
Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth. Y等于27天的12次方根
The issue remains. 问题依旧
How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection? 我们怎么避免他被甩这个怪圈呢
Well,if you want to guarantee his appeal to Stephanie, 想要确保他一直和Stephanie在一起
your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet. 大招就是宰了地球上的其他男人
I'll tell you what you shouldn't do. 我来告诉你啥不该做
Don't shpritz him with that body spray from the commercial where the women undress when they smell it. 不要往他身上喷广告里那种香水 女人一闻到立马脱衣服那个
That doesn't work at all. 一点都不管用
No matter how much you put on. 不管你往身上喷多少
So,that's all you've got? Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"? 这就是你们给出的建议 种族灭决和少用古龙水
- Yeah. - Yes. - 对头 - 没错
Penny. Penny? Penny Penny
What? 咋了
Penny? Penny
Zucchini bread. 青瓜面包
Oh,thank you. 谢谢
- May I come in? - No. - 我能进来吗 - 不行
I see. Apparently,my earlier inquiry regarding you and Leonard crossed some sort of line. 我知道 之前我询问你和Leonard的 问题有点过头了
I apologize. 我郑重道歉
Well,thank you. 谢谢
- So,have you and I returned to a social equilibrium? - Yes. - 那么 你和我回到社会平衡点上了? - 是的
Great. New topic. 很好 新话题
Where are you in your menstrual cycle? 你的经期是什么时候?
What? 什么?
I've been doing some research online,and apparently female primates, 我在网上做研究 很显然 雌性灵长类
you know,uh,apes,chimpanzees,you. 呃 像猿类 黑猩猩 还有你
They find their mate more desirable when he's being courted by another female. 当雄性配偶被其他雌性包围时 对他们的欲望会显著提高
Now,this effect is intensified when the rival female 这种饥渴度会随着竞争雌性的
is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation. 排卵信息素的分泌而增加
Which brings me back to my question.Where are you in your-- 跟着也就回到我的问题 你的经期是....
Clearly,I'm 14 days too early. 看样子 她大姨妈还有14天才来
All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria, 如果他们能治愈黄热病和疟疾
why can't they do something about lactose intolerance? 咋就不想办法治治不耐乳糖症呢?
Leonard,you're going to have to let this go. Leonard 别再折磨自己了
You had a little cheese dip,you farted. 吃点乳酪就放屁
I thought it was cute. 我觉得很可爱呀
Oh,hi,Stephanie. 噢 嗨 Stephanie
Want some more wine? 还要酒吗?
Yeah,I mean,I assume I'm not driving anywhere tonight. 好的呀 我想今晚我不用开车了
What are you doing? 你在干嘛?
I have a craving for white asparagus that apparently is destined to go unsatisfied. 我很渴望吃白芦笋 看情形是没法满足了
Excuse me. 失陪下
What the hell is wrong with you? 你到底在干嘛?
I'm helping you with Stephanie. 我在帮你和Stephanie
By making constipated moose sounds? 就凭学便秘的麋鹿叫?
When I fail to open this jar and you succeed,it will establish you as the "alpha" male. 我开不了这瓶罐头 而你能打开 就可以树立你的猛男形象
You see...when a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination, 是这样的... 当雄性在雌性面前展现肌肉
she produces the hormone oxytocin. 雌性会释放荷尔蒙催产素
If the two of you then engage in intercourse, 如果你俩之后进行性交
this will create the biochemical reaction in the brain 大脑里会产生生化反应
which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love." 普通人会天真地以为是"相爱了"
Would it work if I just punched you in the face? 那揍你一拳能不能达到效果?
Yes,actually it would,but let's see how the lid goes. 嗯 应该可以 但我们还是拧盖子吧
I'm not strong enough,Leonard,you'll have to do it. 我不够强壮 Leonard 你得帮帮我
Oh,for God's sakes. 噢 上帝呀
Go ahead,it's pre-loosened. 来吧 这罐之前开封过的
Do you want some help with that? 要不要帮忙?
No,no,no,I got it. 不 不 不 我能搞定
No,yeah,yeah,he's got it,and that's not surprising. 是的 是的 他能搞定 没啥意外的
This is something I long ago came to peace with in my role as the beta male. 我早就安分于自己的小弟身份
Open it. 快打开
Oh,my God,are you okay? 噢 天哪 你还好吧?
No,I'm not. I'm bleeding. 不 我不好 我在流血
Like a gladiator! 如角斗士般淌着血!
Oh,honey,you're going to need stitches. 噢 宝贝 你得缝针了
Stitches? With a needle? 缝针? 用针来缝?
Well,yeah,I mean,just a few. 嗯 是的 用不了几针
Oh,okay,yeah,hang on a sec. 噢 好的 等一下下
FYI,I was defrosting a steak in there. 那啥 我放了块牛肉在那里解冻
What a beautiful job Stephanie did. Stephanie的活干得真漂亮
I might have gone with a mattress suture instead of a blanket stitch, 虽然我更喜欢褥式缝合法 而不是毯边锁缝针法
but you can' argue with her results. 但她的杰作无可挑剔
It's a shame it won't scar. 不会结疤真是可惜了
The war wound is a time-honored badge of masculinity. 战伤是男子气概的永恒标志
I can't remember a time when you weren't talking. 我不记得你啥时候消停过
Just for the record,my efforts to establish you as the alpha male 声明一下 我努力为你营造猛男形象
were not aided by you bursting into tears. 却被你的嚎啕大哭给毁了
I did not burst into tears,my eyes jusgot a little watery. 我才没哭呢 只是我眼睛湿润了一下
Watery? 湿润?
She stuck a needle into my hand! 她可是往我手上插针呀!!
Hey,how's my big cry baby. 嘿 我的爱哭宝贝怎么样了
I didn't cry. 我没有哭
Okay,I'm just teasing you. But,yeah,you did. 好吧 算我在戏弄你 但是 你的确哭了
Okay,it's all good. What do you say we get you home and put you to bed? 很好 伤口没问题 我们把你送回家 躺床上去怎么样?
Oh,are you still going to spend the night? 噢 你还会留下过夜吗?
Uh,no,I think that you probablyeed to rest. 呃 不了 我想你需要好好休息
She's right. As long as you're vomiting,coitus is contra-indicated. 她说的对 只要你还在呕吐 性交不会爽到哪里去
Thank you,Dr. Cooper. 谢谢你 Cooper医生
You're welcome,Dr. Hofstadter. 不客气 Hofstadter博士
Okay,I'm going to go get your discharge papers. 好吧 我去拿你的出院单
What? 干嘛?
Well,you seem like a perfectly pleasant person. 你看上去是个很亲切的人
I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you. 真不明白 要女人爱你咋就那么困难
Hey,can you open this for me? 嘿 能帮我打开吗?
- Can I see your stitches? - Sure. - 能看下你的缝线吗? - 当然
Answering the question once and for all why Wolowitz bailed out of medical school. 解答了为何Wolowitz退出医学院的问题
Leonard,congratulations. Leonard 恭喜你
What for? 恭喜什么?
Your Facebook status update. 你Facebook的状态更新了
Leonard Hofstadter is "in a relationship." Leonard Hofstadter"恋爱中"
What? No. No,that's not right. 什么? 不 不 不对啊
Oh,man,did you switch your status before she did? 噢 伙计 你在她改状态之前就改了?
Speaking as an expert,way to look needy. 身为专家 我不得不说 你太饥渴了呗
Seriously? You went first,after only two weeks? 真的? 你想改了 才两周诶
That's bold... 真是厉害呀...
It's not bold,it's a mistake. I didn't change my status. 不是厉害 是错误 我没有改我的状态呀
Well,then who did? 那是谁改的?
I had no choice. He cried in front of her. 我没的选择 他在她面前哭了
You hacked my Facebook account? 你黑进我的Facebook账号?
Oh,it's hardly hacking when you use the same password for everything,"Kal-El." 噢 你所有的密码都是"Kal-EL" 这还用得着我黑吗?
Are you insane? 你是不是疯了?
Now she's going to think I'm desperate. 现在她会以为我很心急
You've destroyed this relationship! 你毁了这段恋情!
And you want to know what the worst part is? 想知道最糟糕的是什么吗?
You don't even understand what you did wrong because you can't conceive of something 你甚至不知道自己哪里做错了
that you are not an expert in! 因为你不在行的事你是干不来的!!
- In which I am not an expert... - Don't even! - 我不是专家... - 别跟我辩!
I don't want to hear another word out of you. 我不想再听你说一个字
What's wrong,Lassie? Timmy fall down the well? 怎么了 小妹妹 Timmy掉进井里去了?
She just updated her Facebook status. 她刚刚更新了Facebook状态
"Stephanie Barnett is in a relationship with Leonard Hofstadter." "Stephanie Barnett和 Leonard Hofstadter恋爱中"
Really? 真的?
Oh,look at that. I have a girlfriend. 噢 看哪 我有女朋友了
If I am permitted to speak again,Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win. 如果能允许我再次说话 制胜法宝Sheldon Cooper博士