The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 10, Episode 23 - The Gyroscopic Collapse - full transcript

Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...

What's this?

Oh, nothing, just some
math we don't need.

This is a different approach.

You trying to get the
guidance system even smaller?

It's just a... theory.

Well, it's not even worked out.

Oh.

I want this.

Uh, but we've already met
the agreed upon specs.

Going smaller would require



weeks' worth
of new computations.

So get the kid
with the two shirts to do it.

Sir, I mean,
if I may,

uh, we've put a lot
of thought and effort

into this current prototype.

It's a really elegant solution,

and most importantly, it works.

You both make excellent points.

And thank you for presenting
it so articulately.

Make this.

♪♪

Champagne,

- champagne,
- Thank you.

and for the world's tallest
second grader, apple juice.



No bendy straw, some party.

Hey, a-a toast.

Thank you all for your support

while we worked on our
Air Force project.

And please know that

we could not have
done it without you,

- so cheers.
- Cheers.

You know, it's nice of
you to acknowledge us,

but this is your accomplishment.

Yeah, you guys did
this all on your own.

Without me.

To success without Raj.

So what happens next?

Phase two,
we test it, perfect it,

and hope to live long
enough to see the movie

based on our lives starring
more attractive versions of us.

Yeah, I'll definitely
live long enough...

vitamin C.

First thing tomorrow
morning, we're back at it.

Without me.

I hope his character doesn't
make it into the movie;

he's kind of a bummer.

Leonard Hofstadter.

Access granted.

Hmm. I don't care if this
thing's burning out my retinas;

it makes me feel special.

Now, before we field test,
I think we...

What the hell?

Where is everything?

Who else has access
to this room?

It's a secure lab
in a classified facility;

only the U.S. government and us.

This is very disconcerting.

But the movie did just get good.

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

♪ Bang! ♪
*THE BIG BANG THEORY*
Season 10 Episode 23
"The Gyroscopic Collapse"

Sir, I-I-I'm sorry
but I just don't get it.

Y-You came into our lab

in the middle of the night
and took our prototype

and all of our research
and didn't even tell us?

Sounds like you get it.

Well, why would you do that?

You guys completed phase one,
we'll take it from here.

Where did you move it?

I can't tell you that.

Are you implementing phase two?

I can't tell you that.

Wait, so you're just
going to take all the work

we've done for the last
year and toss us aside?

That one I can tell you, yes.

This is all very upsetting.

I'm sorry to hear that.

As you know, the primary focus of
the United States military

is people's feelings.

If that's sarcasm,
please save it for our enemies.

Well, I may be moving out soon.

I think I found a place to live.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Really?

You kept sending me
apartment listings.

Um... well, I...

yeah, you got me.

Where are you moving?

And when? But a-also where?

Bert has a room for rent.

So you're gonna be
roommates with Bert?

Uh, no, it's, uh,
pretty private, actually,

it's over his garage.

So the only time I'll see him
is when he pulls his car in,

does his laundry or practices
drums in my dining room.

Well, good for you.
Mm-hmm.

I actually have
a little news myself.

Okay, we're just gonna circle
back to when he's moving out?

Okay, that's cool.

I was, uh, asked to be a
visiting researcher at Princeton.

- Hey, that's amazing.
- Good for you. - Congratulations.

Thanks, but the thing is
I'll be gone for a few months

and I don't know how Sheldon's
gonna feel about that.

Oh, come on, he's a grown man,
he can take care of himself.

You really believe that?

Once again, you got me.

♪♪

How can you work
on something for a year

and they just take it?

I can't believe the Air Force
would treat us like that.

You know, I have a good mind
to stop paying my taxes.

It's too bad I enjoy
doing them so much.

The Air Force did it again.

They're erasing our lives!

Third floor, wrong apartment.

Although, if anyone's gonna
clean out your apartment

and disappear, it'd be Penny.

She might disappear,

but she's definitely
not cleaning anything.

It's okay, everything's here.

Oh, hey, what's going on?

You won't believe it;
the military confiscated our project.

What?
You're kidding.

Why would they do that?

They wouldn't say.

I feel so betrayed.

You know, all my life I thought
Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle

who brought you presents.

Turns out he's the other kind.

Sheldon, I'm so sorry.

Thank you. Can we just
talk about something else?

Yeah, what's going on
with you guys?

Give us some good news.

Amy's got some news.

Yeah, um...

Raj is moving out.

Oh, no.

When?

♪♪

You doing okay?

Not really.

Want me to put on
some Neil Diamond?

That always makes
you feel better.

No.

Then you'll get all sexed up
and I'm not in the mood.

I mean, an entire year wasted.

You might be forgetting another
accomplishment of the past year.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, we brought
life into the world.

Really?

That's the importance
you put on us having a baby?

I'm happy about it, but, I mean,
it's not like I did much.

I mean, after
the first three minutes

it was pretty much all you.

♪♪

So, did you tell him
about Princeton yet?

No, I'm waiting till
he's in a good mood.

Oh, sweetie,
you might not live that long.

I don't know,
maybe I shouldn't go.

Oh, stop it, he'll be fine.

I guess. And he'll have you and
Leonard right across the hall

the whole time.

Oh, damn, wait, you know,
maybe you shouldn't go...

Got to go.

Morning.

I apologize for exceeding
my allotted bathroom time.

Are you feeling okay?

Not really.

Apparently grief can
make one less regular.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

No, I sat and I sat,
but to no avail.

Oh, the-the more details,
the more sorry.

Well, maybe this'll
cheer you up.

I made your favorite oatmeal...

plain.

What's the occasion?

No occasion, I just wanted
to do something nice for you.

You're so kind.

You know, I don't know how
I ever got by without you.

Oh.

That's sweet, but you...
you did just fine on your own.

Well, I thought that, too,

but I've come to realize, I am
completely dependent on you.

Sheldon, you're,
you're being silly.

No, to wake up every morning
and know you're there

is a great comfort to me.

Mmm, tasteless.

How do you do it?

You know, what you need to do is

put this Air Force
project behind you

and just dive
into something new.

Well, there is our
quantum cognition experiment.

You and I could spend
more time on that.

Oh, I don't know,

I mean, let's say
we succeed in proving

that our consciousness
creates reality.

I mean, what will we have
really accomplished?

You know, a loaf of bread's
still three bucks.

I'm confused.

You're always saying that you
want to spend more time with me.

That is true, I have said that.

Well, a lot, it's very annoying.

Has something changed?

Um, is there something
that you're not telling me?

I was offered a summer research
fellowship at Princeton.

Princeton?

A fine institution.

The place where
Albert Einstein taught.

And where Leonard got his PhD,

so it may have gone downhill.

Yeah, that's the one.

Well, that's wonderful.

Congratulations.

Well, I-I haven't
accepted it yet.

I wanted to talk to you first.

Wh-What is there
to talk about?

You have to take it.
It's important.

So are you.

Thank you, but I'll be fine.

Are-are you sure?

Yes. I may have lost my guidance
system and my girlfriend,

but I still have a colon
full of yesterday's meals

to keep me company.

Although, thanks to your
high-fiber breakfast,

I'm sure that'll be
leaving me, too.

Really?

He doesn't put raisins
or banana slices

or anything in it?

I don't think plain oatmeal
was the point of that story.

I mean, I like a
little brown sugar...

Guys.

You're still gonna go, right?

I don't know.

Sheldon's so vulnerable
right now.

Oh, come on. Look,
if the roles were reversed,

he'd be on the first train
to New Jersey,

or the second train if there
were teenagers on the first one.

Well, distance might be nice.

The last time a big project
ended for Howie,

he wouldn't stop
following me around.

He even went with me
to get a mammogram.

Well, what's wrong with that?

No, he wanted
to get one with me,

like some kind of weird
couple's massage.

And yet you bore his child.
Neato.

You're excited about
this opportunity, right?

Of course. I get to be part
of the first team

to use radon markers to map...

- the structures that...
- Okay, a simple yes will do.

You have to go.

I know, but what if Sheldon...

Okay, listen to me.
Your relationship can handle

being long distance for a while.

It's not like you two
are very physical.

Hey, you don't know what
goes on behind closed doors.

A lot of lectures?

All right, so you know.

I'm telling you, if you don't go

you'll end up regretting it.

Hey!

Wait up!
Oh, great.

You left something at home.

A big hug!
Oh!

I found it right next
to these kisses.

It's too late for me.

Save yourself.

♪♪

So, are you excited to have
your own place again?

I am, but I'll miss you guys.

Ah, we'll miss you, too.

Wha... you could try
saying that without smiling.

I'm trying. This is
the best I can do.

♪♪ Harmonica playing...

♪♪

What are you doing?

What does it look like?

I'm playing sad harmonica...

in an apartment
as empty as my heart.

Why?

I got the blues.

My baby done left me.

Come on, Sheldon.

Amy's only gone
for a few months.

And now that I'm moving out,
your old room is empty,

so you can stay there
whenever you want.

Uh, could I talk to you
in the hall for a sec?

Yeah, sure.

Sheldon, you're being silly.

Am I?

Yesterday
I had an Air Force project,

a girlfriend who lived with me,

and my good friend Raj
right across the hall.

Do you really care
about that last one?

No, but that list was sounding
a little thin.

Instead of dwelling on the
negative, think about this.

Your girlfriend was given
an amazing opportunity,

which gives you an opportunity

to show her that you're a loving
and supportive boyfriend.

So trick her.

All right, let me start again.

Uh... you and Amy...

Can I get my stuff?

Sounds like it's
gonna be a while.

I missed you.

Come here, let's talk.

Ooh. Sounds serious.

Have I been a bad boy?

- Am I gonna get a spanking
- Just listen.

'cause you know I...

I don't know if
you realize this,

but... whenever you're
between projects,

you tend to get a
little insecure.

- Oh.
- A little clingy.

I know and I'm sorry.

Oh, oh, oh, okay, stop.

Stop.

I love when you're affectionate,

but this is not coming
from a good place.

Well, excuse me,

but what did you do when you
worked on that allergy drug

for two years and the FDA
shut down your project?

I signed us up for
ballroom dance class.

Okay, and what did you do

when they took you
off the antifungal team?

I made us have a baby.

So?

Bring it in.

And now the movie
just got rated "R."

Hey.

You going somewhere?

No, but you are, so I got
you this as a present.

Sheldon, that isn't necessary.

No, it is.

Leonard pointed out to me

that I'm not always a loving
and supportive boyfriend,

so here's some quality luggage.

Thank you.

The salesman said it could
survive a plane crash, so...

Perhaps you should fly
inside it.

Does this mean you're
okay with me going?

Well, I'm not looking
forward to it,

but it is a wonderful
opportunity

and you need to take it.

Besides, Princeton
is in New Jersey,

so it's not like you're
gonna want to stay.

Uh, I know it's
not your birthday,

but if you're interested...

- I am.
- Okay.

Oh, and just to be clear,

I'm not being intimate with you
in order to keep you from going.

I wasn't thinking that.

Well, no, it's just, I'm
just warning you, you know,

if you find yourself
3,000 miles away

and craving a-a hit
of this, you know...

I can't Skype it to you.

That's a risk
I'm willing to take.

All right, then.

Let's go to the bedroom,
remove our clothes,

fold them neatly...

and engage in
frenzied lovemaking.

What if we don't fold
our clothes at all?

I d... or...

what if we fold them?

♪♪

- Well, here's your key back.
- Thank you.

As soon as I have the place set
up I'm gonna have you guys over.

Oh, we would love that.

I really can't thank you
enough for taking me in.

You know, I was in a pretty
low place in my life, and...

Oh, Amy,
you naughty vixen.

Anyway, uh, as I was saying,

I was at a pretty low place
in my life and, uh,

if it wasn't for friends
like you...

My goodness,
that form of stimulation

is highly efficient.

I can't compete
with that. Bye.

Should we give them
their privacy?

I want to,
but I don't think I can.

Whoopee!
Okay, I'm good now.

Thank you.

Okay, the car is waiting.

Do you want
to walk me downstairs?

Of course.

Here, here, let me.

I've been doing a little
research on New Jersey,

and I was delighted to learn

that their chief
agricultural product

is sod.

- Is it?
- Hmm, yes.

Yeah, perhaps I've been harder
on them than they deserve.

Do you think it's possible

you might enjoy being
on your own for a little while?

It's hard to say.

I've never really lived
by myself.

What if I become
strange and eccentric?

I'll love you no matter what.

Howard Hughes saved his
urine in milk bottles.

We'll cross that bridge
when we come to it.

And you'll text me when
you arrive at the airport?

I will.

- And when you're at the gate?
- Uh-huh.

And if you see any actors
from Game of Thrones

in first class?

- I don't know what they look like,
- but sure.

Oh.

And don't forget to Skype
me when you arrive.

- I won't. Got it.
- And every morning.

Now of course, my
9:00 a.m. is your noon,

so let's avoid the
whole "good morning,"

"good afternoon" minefield,

and let's just say,
"Hello."

Good thinking.

And just remember,
I am proud of you

and I support you
in all that you do.

Thank you.
That means a lot.

Oh, and one last thing.

If you find yourself working
with a male scientist

who's as smart as me, as tall
as me and has hair like Thor,

well, then I want you to
step away from the situation

and call me immediately.

Synchronized by srjanapala

♪♪