The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 10, Episode 13 - The Romance Recalibration - full transcript
Leonard and Penny ask for Sheldon's and Amy's help on putting the romance back in their marriage. Howard and Raj go to extreme lengths to stop the floor in Halley's bedroom from making noise.
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---
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
(baby crying)
BERNADETTE: Please stop crying.
I'm begging you.
I don't know what else to do.
My boobs are empty.
Do you want lasagna?
(baby fussing)
It's okay, it's okay.
Shh...
(crying stops)
What have we done?
(door opens)
(soft music playing)
What... what's all this?
Well, it sounded like
you were having a rough day,
so I wanted you to come home
to something nice.
Oh, that is so thoughtful.
Hey, do you remember when
we went wine tasting
in Santa Barbara
and you said
that was the best
rosé you'd ever had?
Yeah, I remember
us driving up there,
going to the winery and...
that's it.
And this wine is why.
Oh.
Hey, what smells so good?
I made your favorite:
pizza bagels!
(gasps)
Pink wine and pizza bagels?
It's like eighth grade
all over again.
I am so lucky to have you.
Well, now be careful,
these are hot.
I-I could explain
the thermodynamics
of why the cheese seems
hotter than the crust,
but instead, I'm gonna
keep it to myself.
Oh.
You always know what not to say.
I just, I can't believe
you did all this.
Well, you know,
it's easy to take each
other for granted and
I never want to do
that to you, because
your love,
it's like a river.
It's peaceful and deep.
Your soul is,
it's like a secret
that I never could keep.
You did not just
quote an NSYNC song.
I quoted your favorite
NSYNC song.
Oh...
(chuckles)
Mm.
(belches)
(chuckling):
Damn.
I burped so hard,
I died in my game.
(laughs)
d Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state d
d Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! d
d The Earth began to cool d
d The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools d
d We built the Wall d
d We built the pyramids d
d Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery d
d That all started
with a big bang d
d Bang! d
d The Big Bang Theory 10x13 d
The Romance Recalibration
Original Air Da
Leonard, I've been
meaning to ask you:
what size shoe
do you wear?
Why?
I'm trying to take
more of an interest
in other
people's lives.
That's nice.
I wear a size
eight and a half.
(giggles)
That's small.
So, tell me, do you have
any plans for the weekend?
Are you gonna laugh
at the answer?
Only if the answer is
"shopping for baby shoes."
If you must know,
Penny won a spa weekend
from work
and she's taking me.
Oh, well you know,
that is interesting.
I wonder what kind of infection
you'll come home with.
My money's on fungal.
They're still having girl''
night across the hall.
Oh, so, hang out with me
and we'll have boys' night.
At our age,
why don't we call it
man's night?
Because we just spent our
allowance on comic books.
Penny, is it weird that
we're having girls' night here,
but you don't
live here anymore,
so it's basically
my girls' night?
I hadn't really
thought about it.
But now you're thinking about it
and it bothers you?
I get that.
Things going well with you
and Sheldon living together?
Better than ever.
He asks about my day,
takes an interest in my life.
He's like my boyfriend
in college,
except he's real,
so people can see him.
I've been seeing him for years,
I'm still not convinced
he's real.
Hey, can I
ask you a question?
You've been married
for a while.
Is it normal
for the husband
to kind of completely stop
giving a crap?
(sighs)
Uh-oh, what's going on?
Well, Leonard used to
do all these things,
like bring me flowers
and wear pants.
It's okay,
Howie never has on pants.
The Domino's guy brings
the pizza like this now.
Well,
Sheldon always has his pants on.
I don't think I could
pick his knees out of a lineup.
Well, it's not
just the pants.
Just, it's like since
we got married,
he doesn't really
try anymore.
Uh, Penny?
I don't know how to say this,
but this is
my first girls' night
and you're kind of
bumming everybody out.
All right, got Halley to sleep.
Yeah, I heard you
on the baby monitor.
Didn't think you could
turn the theme from Walking Dead
into a lullaby.
Yeah, got to get her
hooked on TV,
or someday,
she'll want me to play outside.
Boy, that floor is so squeaky.
I'm surprised I didn't wake
her up walking out of the room.
Have you tried anything
to fix it?
Well, I put the rug down.
It didn't help.
I know. Blue shag.
What were you thinking?
Did try nailing a couple
of the boards down.
Did that do anything?
Yeah, it left little
holes in the floor,
that's why I
bought the rug.
If you do that,
I'll win in eight moves.
I'll win in five moves.
I'll win in one move.
Oh, no. Good game.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, Penny,
I'm trying
to take an interest
in other people.
Uh, how was
your girls' night?
Oh, it was fine.
Hmm. Did you have
anything to eat?
Uh, chips.
(stammers)
Anything to drink?
Some wine.
Well, I'm just playing tennis
against the drapes here.
Just ignore him.
Hmm. At least he took
an interest.
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing.
Hey, what's going on with you?
I don't want to
talk about it.
Well, hey,
come on, just tell me.
Fine.
Lately, I kind
of feel like
you've been taking
me for granted.
Wh-what? Where is this
coming from?
SHELDON:
Leonard.
She might be drunk.
All she had was chips.
It's just, since we got married
you seem to think
you don't have to try anymore.
That is ridiculous.
This is exactly why I didn't
want to talk about it.
No, No, no, no.
Let's talk about it.
I'm the one who's made
all the effort
in this relationship
since day one.
Please tell me
what more I could do.
Okay. You know what?
Maybe I'll take Amy with me
to the spa this weekend instead.
Fine, go ahead.
Amy is free.
She had a harp lesson
on Saturday,
but it got canceled...
Boy, when you take an interest
in people,
you really uncork
a geyser of nonsense.
Okay.
Thanks, Daddy.
He said the only way to really
fix an old floor like that
is to tear it up
and replace the whole thing.
That sounds expensive.
Hang on.
No offense to her father,
but he's not an
MIT-trained engineer.
Thinking and building
is what you do.
MIT's motto is
"Mind and hand,"
which just so happens was also
my motto as a lonely teenager.
Oh, come on. We just need
to be more creative.
What if you didn't step
on the floor at all?
Like, what if you...
swung on a rope
from the ceiling?
(grunts)
(groans)
No.
Okay. Um...
Okay. What if you rig up
a pulley system
and move yourself across
the room in a harness?
(creaking)
No.
BERNADETTE:
I have one.
What if you got
a giant slingshot
and flung yourself
into the wall?
Is that supposed
to be funny?
Hold on.
(screaming)
Yeah, that's funny.
- All right, we're heading out.
- Mm-hmm.
I'll call you when
we get to the hotel.
And if they have any of those
tiny bottles of shampoo?
I will bring them home
so you can show me
how Godzilla takes a shower.
Have fun.
Thanks.
Are you ready?
Uh-huh.
Bye, Sheldon.
You know what?
I feel uncomfortable engaging
in a public display of affection
while their relationship
is strained.
Go ahead, it's fine.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay!
Let's go!
Bye.
Bye.
I'll miss you.
Yeah, I'll miss you, too.
I'll miss you more.
Well, if X equals the amount
that you'll miss me,
then I'll miss you X plus one.
(giggles)
If you miss me X plus one,
I'll miss you
open paren X plus one,
close paren to the second...
Thank you.
You're sad, so I made you tea.
Thanks.
And it's just the way
you like it.
Earl Grey?
Yes.
Honey?
Yes.
Unsweetened almond--
Good Lord!
I made you tea.
Just drink it!
Sorry, thank you.
Well, what can we do
to cheer you up?
I really don't know.
You want to play Jenga?
Or, uh, Ticket to Ride?
Hearthstone?
I-- what would you be
the happiest losing at?
I don't want to
play a game, Sheldon.
Wow, and I remember when you
loved playing games with me.
Maybe Penny isn't the only
relationship you're phoning in.
It's not that I'd
stopped trying,
it's just how
relationships progress.
They start with infatuation,
but over time mellow into
something more comfortable.
Hmm. Yeah, you're right.
It's like when
I first encountered
the Pythagorean Theorem.
You know,
I was blown away
that the square
of the hypotenuse
was the sum of the squares
of the opposite sides.
Yeah, but now
I'm just like "eh."
Okay, this grid
represents the room.
All we need to do is plot out
where each squeak is
and we can find a quiet
path to the crib.
It looks like a map
from Dungeons & Dragons.
Mm.
Except the creature in the crib
is a level-nine poop monster.
Okay, uh, you check
for squeaks,
and I will
mark them down.
(floor squeaking)
Okay.
Space A-3, here we go.
(squeaking)
It's squeaking. Mark it.
It's nice to think that
you grew up in this room
and now your daughter's
going to as well.
Mm. I hope she has the same
amount of sex in it I did.
None. Next square.
Why do you bounce with your
hands in the air like that?
(chuckles)
It's a tradition of my people.
d If I were a rich man d
(vocalizing)
"Material Girl"
needs to be retired.
That is your karaoke song.
Would you like to play
a driving game I invented?
Is it about the failing state
of my relationship with Penny?
Never mind.
You know, Penny went to this spa
to be away from you.
Are you sure
you should be going there?
I don't want to wait two days
for us to work this out.
Very well.
You got married
spur of the moment.
I don't see why your
divorce should be any different.
I would pull this car over
and kick you out,
but... if Penny dumps me,
you're all I got.
When was the last time
you got a massage?
Sheldon walked on my back
two weeks ago,
but that was just 'cause
there was a spider on his pillow
and he was trying to get away.
Leonard stood on me once, too,
but he was just trying
to see the Rose Parade.
(knocking)
I don't know the protocol,
are you gonna be naked
for your massage?
Well. Yeah.
Hmm. Then this is probably
too many clothes.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
I came here to apologize.
Okay. Leonard,
I really appreciate that,
but I need a little time
to myself.
Wha... Okay. I don't get it.
You said make an effort.
Here I am, making an effort.
Hello, Amy. It's
nice to see you.
Nice to see you, too.
And that's how you make
effort look effortless.
All right.
Can you please just go
and we'll talk
about this tomorrow?
I don't understand
what you want!
I'm trying to figure it out!
You know what? If you'd like,
I could whip up a quick
Relationship Agreement.
Well, I'm at a spa,
might as well do
something relaxing.
Sheldon, why don't
we give them some privacy?
(sighs)
Very well.
Hey. Later, we'll check
out the minibar?
I'll show you
how Godzilla gets drunk.
So what we did was map
out the entire room
to identify every squeak.
Watch. It's easy,
once you get the hang of it.
(clears throat)
Step.
Step.
Hop onto ottoman.
Don't do that in socks,
I almost broke my neck.
Then simply sit,
spin, stand,
stretch...
Maybe unloosen your pants.
And... step,
grab, tiny pivot,
pull, and you're there.
(sighs)
Easy, peasy, mac and...
(exhales)
You get the idea.
You actually expect me
to do this
while holding a baby
in the dark?
Hold on...
I don't think she was impressed.
Bigger problems.
I felt something pop.
There's a cucumber
in my water.
Uh-huh.
Do they know it's there?
Um, sh-should I tell somebody?
It's there on purpose.
It's refreshing.
Interesting.
The world's most boring liquid
and the world's
most boring vegetable.
But you put 'em together,
and bleh.
Hey.
Hi.
Oh! Good, you're here.
Are you still fighting?
If you get divorced,
do I get two Christmases?
We're not getting divorced.
Listen, we realized, that, uh...
we're facing some new challenges
as a married couple.
PENNY:
Yeah. And there are a few things
we need to stay on top of.
So we thought
it would useful--
and I can't believe
I am about to say this--
um...
Would you please help us
make a Relationship Agreement?
But one that's tailored to us.
Okay? We don't need
a bathroom schedule.
Although a rule about him
texting me from in there
might help with the romance.
What do you say?
I get to write a contract?
I say, let's get this party
of the first part started!
(they laugh)
(whoops, mutters)
Do you really think
that's funny?
It's in our agreement.
I have to laugh.
If you find this
draft acceptable,
then I believe your new
Relationship Agreement
is ready to be signed.
Article 8, subsection B:
Leonard will restrict
video-gaming in underpants
to hours Penny is not home.
This includes boxers,
briefs, thongs, G-strings
or anything else
that calls attention
to his pasty little thighs.
Does it really need to say that?
I did this for free,
let me get a little something.
Article 10, subsection C:
If questioned, Penny
may not say that everything
is fine if it isn't.
Other unacceptable responses
include: "It's nothing,"
"Don't worry about it,"
and "I said it's nothing,
don't worry about it."
I think this all looks good.
Me, too.
Oh, well. Great,
then. Here.
You sign here, date here.
And, Penny, if you could
initial here to indicate
that you're accepting Leonard
in "as is" condition.
Aw. I remember signing our first
Relationship Agreement.
Mm. You seem to be forgetting
the "no nostalgia" clause.
Right, right. Got it.
---
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
(baby crying)
BERNADETTE: Please stop crying.
I'm begging you.
I don't know what else to do.
My boobs are empty.
Do you want lasagna?
(baby fussing)
It's okay, it's okay.
Shh...
(crying stops)
What have we done?
(door opens)
(soft music playing)
What... what's all this?
Well, it sounded like
you were having a rough day,
so I wanted you to come home
to something nice.
Oh, that is so thoughtful.
Hey, do you remember when
we went wine tasting
in Santa Barbara
and you said
that was the best
rosé you'd ever had?
Yeah, I remember
us driving up there,
going to the winery and...
that's it.
And this wine is why.
Oh.
Hey, what smells so good?
I made your favorite:
pizza bagels!
(gasps)
Pink wine and pizza bagels?
It's like eighth grade
all over again.
I am so lucky to have you.
Well, now be careful,
these are hot.
I-I could explain
the thermodynamics
of why the cheese seems
hotter than the crust,
but instead, I'm gonna
keep it to myself.
Oh.
You always know what not to say.
I just, I can't believe
you did all this.
Well, you know,
it's easy to take each
other for granted and
I never want to do
that to you, because
your love,
it's like a river.
It's peaceful and deep.
Your soul is,
it's like a secret
that I never could keep.
You did not just
quote an NSYNC song.
I quoted your favorite
NSYNC song.
Oh...
(chuckles)
Mm.
(belches)
(chuckling):
Damn.
I burped so hard,
I died in my game.
(laughs)
d Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state d
d Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! d
d The Earth began to cool d
d The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools d
d We built the Wall d
d We built the pyramids d
d Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery d
d That all started
with a big bang d
d Bang! d
d The Big Bang Theory 10x13 d
The Romance Recalibration
Original Air Da
Leonard, I've been
meaning to ask you:
what size shoe
do you wear?
Why?
I'm trying to take
more of an interest
in other
people's lives.
That's nice.
I wear a size
eight and a half.
(giggles)
That's small.
So, tell me, do you have
any plans for the weekend?
Are you gonna laugh
at the answer?
Only if the answer is
"shopping for baby shoes."
If you must know,
Penny won a spa weekend
from work
and she's taking me.
Oh, well you know,
that is interesting.
I wonder what kind of infection
you'll come home with.
My money's on fungal.
They're still having girl''
night across the hall.
Oh, so, hang out with me
and we'll have boys' night.
At our age,
why don't we call it
man's night?
Because we just spent our
allowance on comic books.
Penny, is it weird that
we're having girls' night here,
but you don't
live here anymore,
so it's basically
my girls' night?
I hadn't really
thought about it.
But now you're thinking about it
and it bothers you?
I get that.
Things going well with you
and Sheldon living together?
Better than ever.
He asks about my day,
takes an interest in my life.
He's like my boyfriend
in college,
except he's real,
so people can see him.
I've been seeing him for years,
I'm still not convinced
he's real.
Hey, can I
ask you a question?
You've been married
for a while.
Is it normal
for the husband
to kind of completely stop
giving a crap?
(sighs)
Uh-oh, what's going on?
Well, Leonard used to
do all these things,
like bring me flowers
and wear pants.
It's okay,
Howie never has on pants.
The Domino's guy brings
the pizza like this now.
Well,
Sheldon always has his pants on.
I don't think I could
pick his knees out of a lineup.
Well, it's not
just the pants.
Just, it's like since
we got married,
he doesn't really
try anymore.
Uh, Penny?
I don't know how to say this,
but this is
my first girls' night
and you're kind of
bumming everybody out.
All right, got Halley to sleep.
Yeah, I heard you
on the baby monitor.
Didn't think you could
turn the theme from Walking Dead
into a lullaby.
Yeah, got to get her
hooked on TV,
or someday,
she'll want me to play outside.
Boy, that floor is so squeaky.
I'm surprised I didn't wake
her up walking out of the room.
Have you tried anything
to fix it?
Well, I put the rug down.
It didn't help.
I know. Blue shag.
What were you thinking?
Did try nailing a couple
of the boards down.
Did that do anything?
Yeah, it left little
holes in the floor,
that's why I
bought the rug.
If you do that,
I'll win in eight moves.
I'll win in five moves.
I'll win in one move.
Oh, no. Good game.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, Penny,
I'm trying
to take an interest
in other people.
Uh, how was
your girls' night?
Oh, it was fine.
Hmm. Did you have
anything to eat?
Uh, chips.
(stammers)
Anything to drink?
Some wine.
Well, I'm just playing tennis
against the drapes here.
Just ignore him.
Hmm. At least he took
an interest.
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing.
Hey, what's going on with you?
I don't want to
talk about it.
Well, hey,
come on, just tell me.
Fine.
Lately, I kind
of feel like
you've been taking
me for granted.
Wh-what? Where is this
coming from?
SHELDON:
Leonard.
She might be drunk.
All she had was chips.
It's just, since we got married
you seem to think
you don't have to try anymore.
That is ridiculous.
This is exactly why I didn't
want to talk about it.
No, No, no, no.
Let's talk about it.
I'm the one who's made
all the effort
in this relationship
since day one.
Please tell me
what more I could do.
Okay. You know what?
Maybe I'll take Amy with me
to the spa this weekend instead.
Fine, go ahead.
Amy is free.
She had a harp lesson
on Saturday,
but it got canceled...
Boy, when you take an interest
in people,
you really uncork
a geyser of nonsense.
Okay.
Thanks, Daddy.
He said the only way to really
fix an old floor like that
is to tear it up
and replace the whole thing.
That sounds expensive.
Hang on.
No offense to her father,
but he's not an
MIT-trained engineer.
Thinking and building
is what you do.
MIT's motto is
"Mind and hand,"
which just so happens was also
my motto as a lonely teenager.
Oh, come on. We just need
to be more creative.
What if you didn't step
on the floor at all?
Like, what if you...
swung on a rope
from the ceiling?
(grunts)
(groans)
No.
Okay. Um...
Okay. What if you rig up
a pulley system
and move yourself across
the room in a harness?
(creaking)
No.
BERNADETTE:
I have one.
What if you got
a giant slingshot
and flung yourself
into the wall?
Is that supposed
to be funny?
Hold on.
(screaming)
Yeah, that's funny.
- All right, we're heading out.
- Mm-hmm.
I'll call you when
we get to the hotel.
And if they have any of those
tiny bottles of shampoo?
I will bring them home
so you can show me
how Godzilla takes a shower.
Have fun.
Thanks.
Are you ready?
Uh-huh.
Bye, Sheldon.
You know what?
I feel uncomfortable engaging
in a public display of affection
while their relationship
is strained.
Go ahead, it's fine.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay!
Let's go!
Bye.
Bye.
I'll miss you.
Yeah, I'll miss you, too.
I'll miss you more.
Well, if X equals the amount
that you'll miss me,
then I'll miss you X plus one.
(giggles)
If you miss me X plus one,
I'll miss you
open paren X plus one,
close paren to the second...
Thank you.
You're sad, so I made you tea.
Thanks.
And it's just the way
you like it.
Earl Grey?
Yes.
Honey?
Yes.
Unsweetened almond--
Good Lord!
I made you tea.
Just drink it!
Sorry, thank you.
Well, what can we do
to cheer you up?
I really don't know.
You want to play Jenga?
Or, uh, Ticket to Ride?
Hearthstone?
I-- what would you be
the happiest losing at?
I don't want to
play a game, Sheldon.
Wow, and I remember when you
loved playing games with me.
Maybe Penny isn't the only
relationship you're phoning in.
It's not that I'd
stopped trying,
it's just how
relationships progress.
They start with infatuation,
but over time mellow into
something more comfortable.
Hmm. Yeah, you're right.
It's like when
I first encountered
the Pythagorean Theorem.
You know,
I was blown away
that the square
of the hypotenuse
was the sum of the squares
of the opposite sides.
Yeah, but now
I'm just like "eh."
Okay, this grid
represents the room.
All we need to do is plot out
where each squeak is
and we can find a quiet
path to the crib.
It looks like a map
from Dungeons & Dragons.
Mm.
Except the creature in the crib
is a level-nine poop monster.
Okay, uh, you check
for squeaks,
and I will
mark them down.
(floor squeaking)
Okay.
Space A-3, here we go.
(squeaking)
It's squeaking. Mark it.
It's nice to think that
you grew up in this room
and now your daughter's
going to as well.
Mm. I hope she has the same
amount of sex in it I did.
None. Next square.
Why do you bounce with your
hands in the air like that?
(chuckles)
It's a tradition of my people.
d If I were a rich man d
(vocalizing)
"Material Girl"
needs to be retired.
That is your karaoke song.
Would you like to play
a driving game I invented?
Is it about the failing state
of my relationship with Penny?
Never mind.
You know, Penny went to this spa
to be away from you.
Are you sure
you should be going there?
I don't want to wait two days
for us to work this out.
Very well.
You got married
spur of the moment.
I don't see why your
divorce should be any different.
I would pull this car over
and kick you out,
but... if Penny dumps me,
you're all I got.
When was the last time
you got a massage?
Sheldon walked on my back
two weeks ago,
but that was just 'cause
there was a spider on his pillow
and he was trying to get away.
Leonard stood on me once, too,
but he was just trying
to see the Rose Parade.
(knocking)
I don't know the protocol,
are you gonna be naked
for your massage?
Well. Yeah.
Hmm. Then this is probably
too many clothes.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
I came here to apologize.
Okay. Leonard,
I really appreciate that,
but I need a little time
to myself.
Wha... Okay. I don't get it.
You said make an effort.
Here I am, making an effort.
Hello, Amy. It's
nice to see you.
Nice to see you, too.
And that's how you make
effort look effortless.
All right.
Can you please just go
and we'll talk
about this tomorrow?
I don't understand
what you want!
I'm trying to figure it out!
You know what? If you'd like,
I could whip up a quick
Relationship Agreement.
Well, I'm at a spa,
might as well do
something relaxing.
Sheldon, why don't
we give them some privacy?
(sighs)
Very well.
Hey. Later, we'll check
out the minibar?
I'll show you
how Godzilla gets drunk.
So what we did was map
out the entire room
to identify every squeak.
Watch. It's easy,
once you get the hang of it.
(clears throat)
Step.
Step.
Hop onto ottoman.
Don't do that in socks,
I almost broke my neck.
Then simply sit,
spin, stand,
stretch...
Maybe unloosen your pants.
And... step,
grab, tiny pivot,
pull, and you're there.
(sighs)
Easy, peasy, mac and...
(exhales)
You get the idea.
You actually expect me
to do this
while holding a baby
in the dark?
Hold on...
I don't think she was impressed.
Bigger problems.
I felt something pop.
There's a cucumber
in my water.
Uh-huh.
Do they know it's there?
Um, sh-should I tell somebody?
It's there on purpose.
It's refreshing.
Interesting.
The world's most boring liquid
and the world's
most boring vegetable.
But you put 'em together,
and bleh.
Hey.
Hi.
Oh! Good, you're here.
Are you still fighting?
If you get divorced,
do I get two Christmases?
We're not getting divorced.
Listen, we realized, that, uh...
we're facing some new challenges
as a married couple.
PENNY:
Yeah. And there are a few things
we need to stay on top of.
So we thought
it would useful--
and I can't believe
I am about to say this--
um...
Would you please help us
make a Relationship Agreement?
But one that's tailored to us.
Okay? We don't need
a bathroom schedule.
Although a rule about him
texting me from in there
might help with the romance.
What do you say?
I get to write a contract?
I say, let's get this party
of the first part started!
(they laugh)
(whoops, mutters)
Do you really think
that's funny?
It's in our agreement.
I have to laugh.
If you find this
draft acceptable,
then I believe your new
Relationship Agreement
is ready to be signed.
Article 8, subsection B:
Leonard will restrict
video-gaming in underpants
to hours Penny is not home.
This includes boxers,
briefs, thongs, G-strings
or anything else
that calls attention
to his pasty little thighs.
Does it really need to say that?
I did this for free,
let me get a little something.
Article 10, subsection C:
If questioned, Penny
may not say that everything
is fine if it isn't.
Other unacceptable responses
include: "It's nothing,"
"Don't worry about it,"
and "I said it's nothing,
don't worry about it."
I think this all looks good.
Me, too.
Oh, well. Great,
then. Here.
You sign here, date here.
And, Penny, if you could
initial here to indicate
that you're accepting Leonard
in "as is" condition.
Aw. I remember signing our first
Relationship Agreement.
Mm. You seem to be forgetting
the "no nostalgia" clause.
Right, right. Got it.