The Beverly Hillbillies (1962–1971): Season 3, Episode 32 - The Brewsters Return - full transcript
♪ Come and listen to my
story about a man named Jed ♪
♪ A poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
♪ And then one day, he
was shooting at some food ♪
♪ And up through the ground
come a-bubbling crude ♪
♪ Oil, that is ♪
♪ Black gold ♪
♪ Texas tea ♪
♪ Well, the first thing you
know, old Jed's a millionaire ♪
♪ The kinfolk said, "Jed,
move away from there" ♪
♪ Said, "Californy is the
place you ought to be" ♪
♪ So they loaded up the truck
and they moved to Beverly ♪
♪ Hills, that is ♪
♪ Swimming pools, movie stars. ♪
Chief, Mr. and Mrs.
Brewster are here.
Hello, Mr. Drysdale.
Surprise, Milburn.
Well, for heaven's
sakes, it certainly is.
Why didn't you let me know
you were coming to town?
Oh, we didn't let anybody know.
We're here under a
cloak of absolute secrecy.
Oh, excuse me.
I'll get back to...
Oh, just a moment,
Miss Hathaway.
We need your pledge of silence.
My goodness.
What is it, John, your
oil company mixed up
in some big defense project?
A new secret
rocket fuel, is that it?
Of course. And you don't
want foreign agents to know
you're in town.
It's even more
important than that.
We don't want the Clampetts
to know we're in town.
The Clampetts?
Well, they're really
wonderful people,
but I'm afraid that hillbilly
hospitality is a bit overpowering
for a city girl.
Oh, that's right. They met you
at the plane after your wedding.
Yes, that ride from the airport
was an experience Edythe
still hasn't gotten over.
Right through the
middle of Beverly Hills
on their honeymoon express.
(horn honking)
(cans clattering)
(honking)
I've never been so
embarrassed in my life.
(hushed): Hang on, dear.
We'll be at the hotel soon.
Jethro, that's the hotel
just up the street there.
But don't stop in front.
There's a basement garage.
Just make a turn at
that, at that alley there.
Oh, you're coming
home with us first.
We got a surprise for you.
Another one?
I mean, you've done
too much already.
Yes, this ride from the airport
is something we'll never forget.
Shucks, it ain't
nothing compared
to what's waiting
for you at home.
Oh, here, here's
the alley, Jetrho.
Just make a, a... (horn honking)
What was the surprise
they had for you?
I'll answer that.
The Clampetts had
put up their little cabin
out by the pool to
keep Granny happy.
And we made the
mistake of admiring it.
You mean...?
Yep.
Oh, no, not for your honeymoon?
That was the surprise.
GRANNY AND ELLY
MAY: Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise!
Surprise!
They's surprise, all right.
Just look at their faces.
Well, anyway now you understand
our cloak-and-dagger approach.
The Clampetts... bless
their well-meaning hearts...
Must not find out
that we're in town.
Our lips are sealed,
right, Miss Hathaway?
Chief, the presence of
Mr. And Mrs. Brewster in our city
shall henceforth be
considered classified information
and shall not be revealed to any
unauthorized person or persons
under any circumstances
whatsoever.
Why don't you
practice saying "yes"?
Well, now that
that's out of the way,
we come to the
point of our visit.
Edythe and I are going
to settle down out here.
Really? Wonderful.
John's company is
opening a West Coast office.
And I promised Edythe
she can build a dream house.
I spent my whole life
in New York apartments,
and this is really
going to be a thrill.
We've already found our lot,
and we'd like your bank
to handle the escrow.
My pleasure.
We're going to be here a week.
Now, do you think we can keep
it a secret from the Clampetts?
Of course, right?
On my honor, I
do hereby pledge...
Just a yes!
As we're leaving, we'll
telephone the Clampetts
from the airport and tell
them hello and good-bye.
You know, dear,
it might be safer
if we just fly over their
house and drop a note, huh?
What are you aiming
to tell Mr. Drysdale, Jed?
I'm just gonna
tell him the truth:
that we're fixin' to
move back home,
leastways for a spell.
Well, don't you let
him talk you out of it.
He's gonna yowl
like a scalded cat.
Oh, I think he'll
take it all right.
He knows you've
had the hankerin'
for a long time now.
It ain't just me, Jed.
Everybody wants to go back home.
Ain't that right, everybody?
I don't.
Speak when you're spoke to!
Just hush up and drive, boy.
Well, Granny said "everybody."
You ain't everybody!
I'm somebody.
That ain't everybody.
Well, the three of you
ain't everybody neither.
It takes four to be everybody.
Just hush up and drive, boy.
Duke and me sure will
be glad to get back home.
See, Jed, everybody wants to go.
That ain't everybody.
One, two, three,
four. Everybody!
Gee whiz, Granny!
Just hush up and drive, boy.
Now tell the escrow
department I want this expedited.
Right, Chief.
And I'll also check
on available office
space just in case...
(knocking)
Can we come in?
Well, of course.
My goodness, this is
our day for surprise visits.
Come in, come in. Sit down.
Well, see you later.
Duty calls.
Would you like some coffee?
Oh, no, thanks. You're busy.
We'll just get right
to why we's here.
You see Granny had
been kinda restless.
Everybody has.
Of course, and I understand.
You've been here a long time,
no change of scenery.
I suggest taking a little trip.
That's exactly what
we had in mind.
Good. Southern California
has everything to offer:
mountains, beaches, desert.
We's goin' back home. Fine.
Now I'll drop by this evening
with some maps and folders
and we'll plan a little...
You do mean... this home?
We mean the home
where we come from.
Today? Not three years ago?
Home to the hills.
Beverly Hills?
Not those other hills.
Those other hills, Mr. Drysdale.
You can send Jed's $50 million
to Luke Short in Sibley.
Luke's got a safe
in his general store.
Come on, Jed.
No, no, you can't go!
I won't let you go!
What did you say?
Granny. Mr. Drysdale,
we got a lot to do,
and it's a long drive
back to our cabin.
And I can't wait to get there.
But you've got a cabin here.
The one you put up
beside the pool, remember?
It ain't quite the same.
Now stand aside.
But... What will I
tell the Brewsters?
You mean them honeymooners?
Yes, they're back in town.
Granny, you remember
that pretty little city woman
that fell in love
with the cabin?
Oh, yes.
And they still talk
about that wedding night.
Is that a fact?
You know, Jed, I
never did get to learn
that poor city woman
about how to make lye soap
or sling chitlins
or, or butcher hogs.
Well, here is your chance!
They gonna be here for a spell?
For a whole week.
Well, doggies!
It would be kind of a shame
to leave just now, wouldn't it?
I reckon the Brewsters
would look on it
as downright unfriendly.
Let's go home and commence
making the cabin ready for them.
I'll never forget this.
Neither will the Brewsters.
You'll fetch 'em to our place?
I'll get them there somehow.
Sometime this afternoon.
We'll be ready fer 'em.
See you later.
Bye. Bye.
What a terrible thing
to do to the Brewsters.
Ned, on that Brewster escrow,
knock five percent
off our regular fee.
I feel better.
All right, come on, get out!
Sooee, sooee! Git! Get out!
Jethro, we gotta get
that back door on.
The hogs keep comin' in.
Miss Brewster's real
fond of hogs, Jed.
Well, that may be, but
let's leave it up to her
whether she wants
'em inside or out.
Got you soap kettle all ready
and the wood cut.
Good. Now make sure
that there's plenty
of lye and renderins.
I'm gonna learn her
to make soap right off.
Yes, ma'am.
As I recall, she was
right fond of your churn.
Reckon she'll
want a cow to milk?
Probably.
But suppose we let her
milk Elly's goat for starters?
And if she wants a cow,
Jethro can fetch one.
I got a dandy chicken
for Miss Brewster to hold.
Try her, Pa.
You're right, Elly. This
is a fine holdin' chicken.
As a rule, holdin' chickens
don't make good layers.
Well, long as it pleasures
the woman, we won't mind
missin' a few eggs.
I never did see anyone so
fond of pigs and chickens.
"Charming" she calls 'em.
Funny how life
has come full circle.
It's Mr. Brewster that made
us rich by buying our oil.
Now at last we got a chance
to do something nice for him.
Yeah. I sure would
like to be there
when Mr. Drysdale
tells 'em the good news.
I understand you've been trying
to find me, Milburn.
Yeah, sit down, John.
Edythe and I were just
over looking at the lot.
I've never seen a woman
so happy and excited.
All she can think about
is that dream house.
Glad I was able to
save it for you, John.
What? What do you mean?
Clampett oil is very
important to your company,
wouldn't you say?
Well, it certainly is. It's
the richest field we've got.
Our major source of income.
Without it, there'd be
no West Coast office,
no dream house, right?
Right.
Johnny, you came
that close to losing it.
Losing the Clampett oil field?!
Now relax, relax.
I was here to throw
myself into the breach.
What happened?
The Clampetts came by to tell me
they were moving back
to their home in the hills.
Yes.
In a flash, I saw the
danger you were in.
One look at those
wells, one sniff of that oil,
one thump of those drills,
and Jed Clampett
would have said,
"Out! Throw everything
out! Close it down."
You really think so?
The wells are quite a
distance from the cabin.
Johnny, I know these people.
I know how they think.
I know what makes them tick.
Well, what did you do?
Like I said, I know them.
And one thing they
respect is courage.
So, I planted myself in
front of the door like this
and I said, "No,
no, you can't go.
I won't let you go."
Oh, that did take courage.
Why, you, you might
have jeopardized
your own relationship with them.
Well, all I could think
of at that moment
was you and your bride
and saving her dream house.
Well, I, I don't know
what to say, Milburn.
Really, I, I'm just overwhelmed.
Ah, forget it.
No, that's something
I'll never do.
Edythe's waiting for
me down in the car.
I've got to tell her about this.
Oh, John, there's something else
you've got to tell her.
Oh, what's that?
Sit down.
What is it, Milburn?
What is it, John?
Well, darling, it seems
that in the excitement
of the moment,
he let it slip out
that we're in town.
Oh, is that what
you've been so nervous
about telling me? Yes.
Oh, my goodness, there
are worse things than that.
Well, I'm coming to them. What?
Uh, Edythe, that, that dream
house we're going to build...
I, I'd say it's worth
a little sacrifice,
a little temporary discomfort,
wouldn't you? John,
isn't this the street that
goes up to the Clampetts?
You didn't answer
my question, dear.
Oh, you didn't answer mine.
Are we headed for the Clampetts?
Edythe, no matter
what happens today,
just keep saying to yourself,
"My dream house,
my dream house."
It'll take you through
whatever lies ahead.
What does lie ahead?
Well... Never mind, I see it!
It's the Clampett driveway!
Well, start saying it, dear.
"My dream house, dream house."
John, please, don't turn in!
Say it, darling.
Say those three magic words!
You turned in!
My dream house!
Did you hear that, Jed?
My dream house!
Sure grabs at
your heart, don't it?
Here's a holdi" chicken
for you, Mrs. Brewster.
Oh, here.
Let me hold it, dear.
Well, then here, Mrs. Brewster,
you can have the pig.
My dream house.
My dream house.
By doggies, she is fond of pig,
took it right inside with her.
He seems partial to chickens.
Did you see that?
Mrs. Brewster's so
happy she went to cryin'.
Granny's about to
cut loose herself.
Well, doggone it!
The way she keeps callin'
that little cabin
her dream house.
(sniffling) It'd set
a mule to bawlin'.
Uncle Jed, want
me to fetch a cow
for Mrs. Brewster
to milk? Not yet, boy,
we're gonna let her do
her learnin' on Elly's goat...
To get the feel
of it, so to speak.
What about her soap
makin' lesson, Granny?
Should I start a
fire under the kettle?
No, just let's leave
them two lovebirds alone
in their dream
house for a spell.
After all, it's like a second
honeymoon for 'em.
Yeah.
I'm glad Mr. Drysdale
told us they was in town.
Who could have told the
Clampetts they were in town?
There's no telling.
In a large organization,
it's next to impossible
to keep a secret.
Yes, I suppose
in a barrel this big,
there's bound to
be one rotten apple.
Yeah.
Well... Poor Mrs. Brewster.
When I think of that
lovely cultured woman...
A New York decorator...
Living in that backwoods shanty.
Oh, I wish I knew what
dirty creep ratted on them!
Yeah.
Well, there's no use
crying over spilled milk.
Yes, but, Chief,
it just bothers me
to know that someone in this
bank is a big blabbermouth!
Yeah.
Well, what's done is done.
Worse than that.
A stool pigeon, a squealer,
a, a low-down fink!
Now, look, I've had
enough of your insults!
Well, I, I had to do it
to keep the Clampetts
from going back to the hills.
But, Chief, a week in that
cabin could wreck their marriage!
Oh, they won't be there a week!
Why, a little
intelligent thinking
should have them
out before dark!
Before dark!
All right, you can
have until tomorrow.
You expect me to get them out?
Well, I got them in, do I
have to do everything?!
Chief, you cannot
dismiss this lightly.
The Brewsters'
happiness is at stake here.
Now listen, there's
nothing like a little adversity
to bring a husband
and wife closer together.
Right now they're probably
having a good laugh
over the whole thing.
Please unbolt the door, honey.
Let's sit down
and talk this over.
Edythe?
Look, honey, I was trapped,
I-I had to agree to this
to save the Clampett oil field.
Uh, to save your dream house.
Don't you see, sweetheart,
I did it for you, I-I love you!
(sighs)
Look, honey, we
can face anything
as long as we're together!
John, I'm sorry I've
been such a child!
That's all right, precious.
I feel better now that
I've had a good cry.
Well, of course you do.
And you're absolutely right,
we can face anything
as long as we're together.
Ah, that's my wonderful girl.
And someday we'll...
we'll look on this as a lark.
We'll look back on it
and we'll have a good laugh.
When we're in that
beautiful dream house.
Oh, yes!
(knocking on door)
Come in!
Hello, honeymooners.
Hi, Granny. How's everything?
Oh, just wonderful, Granny!
Fine.
I got a dandy surprise for ya.
Young'uns, fetch in Thelma!
Thelma?
(goat bleating)
John, what's that?
It's a goat, dear.
Here ya are, Mrs. Brewster.
You seem to favor
havin' your livestock
in the house.
Milk her from the left
and don't let her butt ya!
This goat is for me to milk?
Well, won't that be fun, dear?
Uh, kind of a lark, huh?
Don't worry about
your clothes, honey,
I brung ya a house dress.
(gasps)
Poor little thing.
She just can't take too
much happiness, can she?
♪ ♪
(sighs)
I did it, John!
I milked that miserable goat!
Oh, Edythe, my wonderful... Oh!
You-you did, didn't you?
(sobbing)
Cheer up, dear,
the, the worst is over.
Oh, no, it isn't.
Do you know what
my next lesson is?
What?
How to make lye soap
with hog renderin's
and possum fat!
(sniffling)
And then I'm going to learn
how to hand-sling chitlins
and stir-off sorghum.
(sobbing)
Well, doggies!
What?!
I-I was, I was
just kidding, dear.
Well, I'm not, John.
I'm sorry,
but I cannot take
this kind of life!
Especially when I know
that a hundred feet away,
in that beautiful mansion,
there're a dozen
palatial bedroom suites
with luxurious baths
and-and dressing rooms...
Darling, you've just
given me an idea!
We'll be out of here
and into one of those
suites in a matter of minutes.
How will you do it?
Well, it's very simple.
I-I'll just tell Granny
that you're dying
for a nice hot bath.
Obviously there are no
bathing facilities here, so...
Oh, of course!
And once we're inside that
mansion we'll never leave!
Oh, John, you're wonderful!
Yeah.
Oh, I can feel that
hot tub already!
My, you're turnin' a
nice rosy color, Edythe.
I don't doubt it...
This water's pretty hot.
Oh, it ain't the water,
it's my lye soap.
Want to wash your face?
I-I don't know if I should.
John has always
admired soft delicate skin.
Then this is whatcha want.
This would tender
up a gator's hide!
I think I've had enough.
Want me to go over your
back with the brush again?
No, please!
I-I'd like to get out now.
Well, just a minute.
Elly, fetch in the rinse water.
Best to rinse off
with rain water.
Cuts the soap.
Otherwise your
skin is liable to soften
right down to the quick.
Do you want me to
do the pourin', Granny?
Yeah, Elly, you have
a little height on me.
Here, ya are, honey.
Stand up.
(water splashing)
All right, Elly, let her
have the rain water.
(shrieking)
That's cold!
Well, have you
ever seen hot rain?
(shrieking)
I, uh,
I wonder if I should
check on Edythe?
Not till Granny
gives the signal!
She don't allow menfolk
within shotgun
range at bath time!
Chances are Granny's
lettin' her soak a bit.
You see, this time of year
she puts a little
extra possum fat
and coal oil in her soap.
Possum fat and coal oil?
Yeah, it leaves
what they call, uh,
a "lingerin'
fragrance" on the skin.
And it keeps the bugs away
from one Saturday to the next.
(metallic clanging)
There's the all clear signal.
You can go back
to the cabin now.
You're gonna find
the waitin' was worth it.
Yes, well, excuse me.
Well, Jethro, let's keep
the happiness comin'.
Now that Mrs. Brewster's
learned how to milk,
we're gonna fetch
her a nice fat cow.
You don't have to
come along, Uncle Jed.
I can heft the cow
on the truck by myself.
Well, I reckon ya can at that.
Handle her gentle.
Here's ten dollars.
Yes, sir!
I'll bring back the change.
♪ ♪
Howdy, Miss Jane.
Mr. Clampett,
are the Brewsters
still in the cabin?
Yep, and happy as a pair
of squirrels in a nut tree.
No, Mr. Clampett.
No?
No.
You see, the
Brewsters have bought
a vacant lot here
in Beverly Hills
and that's where Mrs. Brewster
wants to put up her dream house.
The dickens you say!
That's the simple truth.
And all this time
we had 'em stuck way
out in the back there.
Yes.
Well, uh, where
is this lot of theirs?
Let me drive you over
and show it to you.
Fine and dandy.
Morning, Miss Hathaway.
Good morning, Chief.
You know, I could
hardly sleep last night
for worrying about
the Brewsters.
They're waiting for
you in your office.
Uh-oh! Chief, wait...
Everything's all right!
It is? Yes,
they moved into their
hotel last evening.
Oh, well. Milburn,
I thought I heard your voice.
Edythe and I are gonna
pick up our architect
and drive by the lot.
I thought you might
like to come along.
You, too, Miss Hathaway.
Thank you, but
I've seen the lot.
It's just lovely!
I'll be back in about an hour.
Well, John, Edythe,
how do you like
the way I got you back into
your hotel room so quickly?
It was magic, Milburn.
Pure magic.
Just took a little
intelligent thinking.
We're getting close,
Mr. McKeegan.
You're certainly fortunate
to find a vacant
lot on this street.
They paid enough for it!
By the way, John,
did anyone mention
a five percent discount
on your escrow fee?
No. Good, forget it.
Here it is, coming
up on your right.
Cary Grant is one
of our neighbors!
Edythe's so thrilled she
doesn't know what to...
What?!
Oh, John!
(cow mooing)
(gasps)
Oh!
Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
Here's your dream house!
Took us all night to get it up,
but she's ready now!
(sobbing)
Look!
Mrs. Brewster's
gone to bawlin' again!
No doubt about it,
that woman just can't
take too much happiness!
(theme song playing)
♪ Well, now it's time
to say good-bye ♪
♪ To Jed and all his kin ♪
♪ And they would
like to thank you folks ♪
♪ Fer kindly droppin' in ♪
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality ♪
♪ To have a heapin'
helpin' of their hospitality ♪
♪ Hillbilly, that is ♪
♪ Set a spell ♪
♪ Take your shoes off ♪
♪ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ♪
This has been a
Filmways Presentation.
story about a man named Jed ♪
♪ A poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
♪ And then one day, he
was shooting at some food ♪
♪ And up through the ground
come a-bubbling crude ♪
♪ Oil, that is ♪
♪ Black gold ♪
♪ Texas tea ♪
♪ Well, the first thing you
know, old Jed's a millionaire ♪
♪ The kinfolk said, "Jed,
move away from there" ♪
♪ Said, "Californy is the
place you ought to be" ♪
♪ So they loaded up the truck
and they moved to Beverly ♪
♪ Hills, that is ♪
♪ Swimming pools, movie stars. ♪
Chief, Mr. and Mrs.
Brewster are here.
Hello, Mr. Drysdale.
Surprise, Milburn.
Well, for heaven's
sakes, it certainly is.
Why didn't you let me know
you were coming to town?
Oh, we didn't let anybody know.
We're here under a
cloak of absolute secrecy.
Oh, excuse me.
I'll get back to...
Oh, just a moment,
Miss Hathaway.
We need your pledge of silence.
My goodness.
What is it, John, your
oil company mixed up
in some big defense project?
A new secret
rocket fuel, is that it?
Of course. And you don't
want foreign agents to know
you're in town.
It's even more
important than that.
We don't want the Clampetts
to know we're in town.
The Clampetts?
Well, they're really
wonderful people,
but I'm afraid that hillbilly
hospitality is a bit overpowering
for a city girl.
Oh, that's right. They met you
at the plane after your wedding.
Yes, that ride from the airport
was an experience Edythe
still hasn't gotten over.
Right through the
middle of Beverly Hills
on their honeymoon express.
(horn honking)
(cans clattering)
(honking)
I've never been so
embarrassed in my life.
(hushed): Hang on, dear.
We'll be at the hotel soon.
Jethro, that's the hotel
just up the street there.
But don't stop in front.
There's a basement garage.
Just make a turn at
that, at that alley there.
Oh, you're coming
home with us first.
We got a surprise for you.
Another one?
I mean, you've done
too much already.
Yes, this ride from the airport
is something we'll never forget.
Shucks, it ain't
nothing compared
to what's waiting
for you at home.
Oh, here, here's
the alley, Jetrho.
Just make a, a... (horn honking)
What was the surprise
they had for you?
I'll answer that.
The Clampetts had
put up their little cabin
out by the pool to
keep Granny happy.
And we made the
mistake of admiring it.
You mean...?
Yep.
Oh, no, not for your honeymoon?
That was the surprise.
GRANNY AND ELLY
MAY: Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise!
Surprise!
They's surprise, all right.
Just look at their faces.
Well, anyway now you understand
our cloak-and-dagger approach.
The Clampetts... bless
their well-meaning hearts...
Must not find out
that we're in town.
Our lips are sealed,
right, Miss Hathaway?
Chief, the presence of
Mr. And Mrs. Brewster in our city
shall henceforth be
considered classified information
and shall not be revealed to any
unauthorized person or persons
under any circumstances
whatsoever.
Why don't you
practice saying "yes"?
Well, now that
that's out of the way,
we come to the
point of our visit.
Edythe and I are going
to settle down out here.
Really? Wonderful.
John's company is
opening a West Coast office.
And I promised Edythe
she can build a dream house.
I spent my whole life
in New York apartments,
and this is really
going to be a thrill.
We've already found our lot,
and we'd like your bank
to handle the escrow.
My pleasure.
We're going to be here a week.
Now, do you think we can keep
it a secret from the Clampetts?
Of course, right?
On my honor, I
do hereby pledge...
Just a yes!
As we're leaving, we'll
telephone the Clampetts
from the airport and tell
them hello and good-bye.
You know, dear,
it might be safer
if we just fly over their
house and drop a note, huh?
What are you aiming
to tell Mr. Drysdale, Jed?
I'm just gonna
tell him the truth:
that we're fixin' to
move back home,
leastways for a spell.
Well, don't you let
him talk you out of it.
He's gonna yowl
like a scalded cat.
Oh, I think he'll
take it all right.
He knows you've
had the hankerin'
for a long time now.
It ain't just me, Jed.
Everybody wants to go back home.
Ain't that right, everybody?
I don't.
Speak when you're spoke to!
Just hush up and drive, boy.
Well, Granny said "everybody."
You ain't everybody!
I'm somebody.
That ain't everybody.
Well, the three of you
ain't everybody neither.
It takes four to be everybody.
Just hush up and drive, boy.
Duke and me sure will
be glad to get back home.
See, Jed, everybody wants to go.
That ain't everybody.
One, two, three,
four. Everybody!
Gee whiz, Granny!
Just hush up and drive, boy.
Now tell the escrow
department I want this expedited.
Right, Chief.
And I'll also check
on available office
space just in case...
(knocking)
Can we come in?
Well, of course.
My goodness, this is
our day for surprise visits.
Come in, come in. Sit down.
Well, see you later.
Duty calls.
Would you like some coffee?
Oh, no, thanks. You're busy.
We'll just get right
to why we's here.
You see Granny had
been kinda restless.
Everybody has.
Of course, and I understand.
You've been here a long time,
no change of scenery.
I suggest taking a little trip.
That's exactly what
we had in mind.
Good. Southern California
has everything to offer:
mountains, beaches, desert.
We's goin' back home. Fine.
Now I'll drop by this evening
with some maps and folders
and we'll plan a little...
You do mean... this home?
We mean the home
where we come from.
Today? Not three years ago?
Home to the hills.
Beverly Hills?
Not those other hills.
Those other hills, Mr. Drysdale.
You can send Jed's $50 million
to Luke Short in Sibley.
Luke's got a safe
in his general store.
Come on, Jed.
No, no, you can't go!
I won't let you go!
What did you say?
Granny. Mr. Drysdale,
we got a lot to do,
and it's a long drive
back to our cabin.
And I can't wait to get there.
But you've got a cabin here.
The one you put up
beside the pool, remember?
It ain't quite the same.
Now stand aside.
But... What will I
tell the Brewsters?
You mean them honeymooners?
Yes, they're back in town.
Granny, you remember
that pretty little city woman
that fell in love
with the cabin?
Oh, yes.
And they still talk
about that wedding night.
Is that a fact?
You know, Jed, I
never did get to learn
that poor city woman
about how to make lye soap
or sling chitlins
or, or butcher hogs.
Well, here is your chance!
They gonna be here for a spell?
For a whole week.
Well, doggies!
It would be kind of a shame
to leave just now, wouldn't it?
I reckon the Brewsters
would look on it
as downright unfriendly.
Let's go home and commence
making the cabin ready for them.
I'll never forget this.
Neither will the Brewsters.
You'll fetch 'em to our place?
I'll get them there somehow.
Sometime this afternoon.
We'll be ready fer 'em.
See you later.
Bye. Bye.
What a terrible thing
to do to the Brewsters.
Ned, on that Brewster escrow,
knock five percent
off our regular fee.
I feel better.
All right, come on, get out!
Sooee, sooee! Git! Get out!
Jethro, we gotta get
that back door on.
The hogs keep comin' in.
Miss Brewster's real
fond of hogs, Jed.
Well, that may be, but
let's leave it up to her
whether she wants
'em inside or out.
Got you soap kettle all ready
and the wood cut.
Good. Now make sure
that there's plenty
of lye and renderins.
I'm gonna learn her
to make soap right off.
Yes, ma'am.
As I recall, she was
right fond of your churn.
Reckon she'll
want a cow to milk?
Probably.
But suppose we let her
milk Elly's goat for starters?
And if she wants a cow,
Jethro can fetch one.
I got a dandy chicken
for Miss Brewster to hold.
Try her, Pa.
You're right, Elly. This
is a fine holdin' chicken.
As a rule, holdin' chickens
don't make good layers.
Well, long as it pleasures
the woman, we won't mind
missin' a few eggs.
I never did see anyone so
fond of pigs and chickens.
"Charming" she calls 'em.
Funny how life
has come full circle.
It's Mr. Brewster that made
us rich by buying our oil.
Now at last we got a chance
to do something nice for him.
Yeah. I sure would
like to be there
when Mr. Drysdale
tells 'em the good news.
I understand you've been trying
to find me, Milburn.
Yeah, sit down, John.
Edythe and I were just
over looking at the lot.
I've never seen a woman
so happy and excited.
All she can think about
is that dream house.
Glad I was able to
save it for you, John.
What? What do you mean?
Clampett oil is very
important to your company,
wouldn't you say?
Well, it certainly is. It's
the richest field we've got.
Our major source of income.
Without it, there'd be
no West Coast office,
no dream house, right?
Right.
Johnny, you came
that close to losing it.
Losing the Clampett oil field?!
Now relax, relax.
I was here to throw
myself into the breach.
What happened?
The Clampetts came by to tell me
they were moving back
to their home in the hills.
Yes.
In a flash, I saw the
danger you were in.
One look at those
wells, one sniff of that oil,
one thump of those drills,
and Jed Clampett
would have said,
"Out! Throw everything
out! Close it down."
You really think so?
The wells are quite a
distance from the cabin.
Johnny, I know these people.
I know how they think.
I know what makes them tick.
Well, what did you do?
Like I said, I know them.
And one thing they
respect is courage.
So, I planted myself in
front of the door like this
and I said, "No,
no, you can't go.
I won't let you go."
Oh, that did take courage.
Why, you, you might
have jeopardized
your own relationship with them.
Well, all I could think
of at that moment
was you and your bride
and saving her dream house.
Well, I, I don't know
what to say, Milburn.
Really, I, I'm just overwhelmed.
Ah, forget it.
No, that's something
I'll never do.
Edythe's waiting for
me down in the car.
I've got to tell her about this.
Oh, John, there's something else
you've got to tell her.
Oh, what's that?
Sit down.
What is it, Milburn?
What is it, John?
Well, darling, it seems
that in the excitement
of the moment,
he let it slip out
that we're in town.
Oh, is that what
you've been so nervous
about telling me? Yes.
Oh, my goodness, there
are worse things than that.
Well, I'm coming to them. What?
Uh, Edythe, that, that dream
house we're going to build...
I, I'd say it's worth
a little sacrifice,
a little temporary discomfort,
wouldn't you? John,
isn't this the street that
goes up to the Clampetts?
You didn't answer
my question, dear.
Oh, you didn't answer mine.
Are we headed for the Clampetts?
Edythe, no matter
what happens today,
just keep saying to yourself,
"My dream house,
my dream house."
It'll take you through
whatever lies ahead.
What does lie ahead?
Well... Never mind, I see it!
It's the Clampett driveway!
Well, start saying it, dear.
"My dream house, dream house."
John, please, don't turn in!
Say it, darling.
Say those three magic words!
You turned in!
My dream house!
Did you hear that, Jed?
My dream house!
Sure grabs at
your heart, don't it?
Here's a holdi" chicken
for you, Mrs. Brewster.
Oh, here.
Let me hold it, dear.
Well, then here, Mrs. Brewster,
you can have the pig.
My dream house.
My dream house.
By doggies, she is fond of pig,
took it right inside with her.
He seems partial to chickens.
Did you see that?
Mrs. Brewster's so
happy she went to cryin'.
Granny's about to
cut loose herself.
Well, doggone it!
The way she keeps callin'
that little cabin
her dream house.
(sniffling) It'd set
a mule to bawlin'.
Uncle Jed, want
me to fetch a cow
for Mrs. Brewster
to milk? Not yet, boy,
we're gonna let her do
her learnin' on Elly's goat...
To get the feel
of it, so to speak.
What about her soap
makin' lesson, Granny?
Should I start a
fire under the kettle?
No, just let's leave
them two lovebirds alone
in their dream
house for a spell.
After all, it's like a second
honeymoon for 'em.
Yeah.
I'm glad Mr. Drysdale
told us they was in town.
Who could have told the
Clampetts they were in town?
There's no telling.
In a large organization,
it's next to impossible
to keep a secret.
Yes, I suppose
in a barrel this big,
there's bound to
be one rotten apple.
Yeah.
Well... Poor Mrs. Brewster.
When I think of that
lovely cultured woman...
A New York decorator...
Living in that backwoods shanty.
Oh, I wish I knew what
dirty creep ratted on them!
Yeah.
Well, there's no use
crying over spilled milk.
Yes, but, Chief,
it just bothers me
to know that someone in this
bank is a big blabbermouth!
Yeah.
Well, what's done is done.
Worse than that.
A stool pigeon, a squealer,
a, a low-down fink!
Now, look, I've had
enough of your insults!
Well, I, I had to do it
to keep the Clampetts
from going back to the hills.
But, Chief, a week in that
cabin could wreck their marriage!
Oh, they won't be there a week!
Why, a little
intelligent thinking
should have them
out before dark!
Before dark!
All right, you can
have until tomorrow.
You expect me to get them out?
Well, I got them in, do I
have to do everything?!
Chief, you cannot
dismiss this lightly.
The Brewsters'
happiness is at stake here.
Now listen, there's
nothing like a little adversity
to bring a husband
and wife closer together.
Right now they're probably
having a good laugh
over the whole thing.
Please unbolt the door, honey.
Let's sit down
and talk this over.
Edythe?
Look, honey, I was trapped,
I-I had to agree to this
to save the Clampett oil field.
Uh, to save your dream house.
Don't you see, sweetheart,
I did it for you, I-I love you!
(sighs)
Look, honey, we
can face anything
as long as we're together!
John, I'm sorry I've
been such a child!
That's all right, precious.
I feel better now that
I've had a good cry.
Well, of course you do.
And you're absolutely right,
we can face anything
as long as we're together.
Ah, that's my wonderful girl.
And someday we'll...
we'll look on this as a lark.
We'll look back on it
and we'll have a good laugh.
When we're in that
beautiful dream house.
Oh, yes!
(knocking on door)
Come in!
Hello, honeymooners.
Hi, Granny. How's everything?
Oh, just wonderful, Granny!
Fine.
I got a dandy surprise for ya.
Young'uns, fetch in Thelma!
Thelma?
(goat bleating)
John, what's that?
It's a goat, dear.
Here ya are, Mrs. Brewster.
You seem to favor
havin' your livestock
in the house.
Milk her from the left
and don't let her butt ya!
This goat is for me to milk?
Well, won't that be fun, dear?
Uh, kind of a lark, huh?
Don't worry about
your clothes, honey,
I brung ya a house dress.
(gasps)
Poor little thing.
She just can't take too
much happiness, can she?
♪ ♪
(sighs)
I did it, John!
I milked that miserable goat!
Oh, Edythe, my wonderful... Oh!
You-you did, didn't you?
(sobbing)
Cheer up, dear,
the, the worst is over.
Oh, no, it isn't.
Do you know what
my next lesson is?
What?
How to make lye soap
with hog renderin's
and possum fat!
(sniffling)
And then I'm going to learn
how to hand-sling chitlins
and stir-off sorghum.
(sobbing)
Well, doggies!
What?!
I-I was, I was
just kidding, dear.
Well, I'm not, John.
I'm sorry,
but I cannot take
this kind of life!
Especially when I know
that a hundred feet away,
in that beautiful mansion,
there're a dozen
palatial bedroom suites
with luxurious baths
and-and dressing rooms...
Darling, you've just
given me an idea!
We'll be out of here
and into one of those
suites in a matter of minutes.
How will you do it?
Well, it's very simple.
I-I'll just tell Granny
that you're dying
for a nice hot bath.
Obviously there are no
bathing facilities here, so...
Oh, of course!
And once we're inside that
mansion we'll never leave!
Oh, John, you're wonderful!
Yeah.
Oh, I can feel that
hot tub already!
My, you're turnin' a
nice rosy color, Edythe.
I don't doubt it...
This water's pretty hot.
Oh, it ain't the water,
it's my lye soap.
Want to wash your face?
I-I don't know if I should.
John has always
admired soft delicate skin.
Then this is whatcha want.
This would tender
up a gator's hide!
I think I've had enough.
Want me to go over your
back with the brush again?
No, please!
I-I'd like to get out now.
Well, just a minute.
Elly, fetch in the rinse water.
Best to rinse off
with rain water.
Cuts the soap.
Otherwise your
skin is liable to soften
right down to the quick.
Do you want me to
do the pourin', Granny?
Yeah, Elly, you have
a little height on me.
Here, ya are, honey.
Stand up.
(water splashing)
All right, Elly, let her
have the rain water.
(shrieking)
That's cold!
Well, have you
ever seen hot rain?
(shrieking)
I, uh,
I wonder if I should
check on Edythe?
Not till Granny
gives the signal!
She don't allow menfolk
within shotgun
range at bath time!
Chances are Granny's
lettin' her soak a bit.
You see, this time of year
she puts a little
extra possum fat
and coal oil in her soap.
Possum fat and coal oil?
Yeah, it leaves
what they call, uh,
a "lingerin'
fragrance" on the skin.
And it keeps the bugs away
from one Saturday to the next.
(metallic clanging)
There's the all clear signal.
You can go back
to the cabin now.
You're gonna find
the waitin' was worth it.
Yes, well, excuse me.
Well, Jethro, let's keep
the happiness comin'.
Now that Mrs. Brewster's
learned how to milk,
we're gonna fetch
her a nice fat cow.
You don't have to
come along, Uncle Jed.
I can heft the cow
on the truck by myself.
Well, I reckon ya can at that.
Handle her gentle.
Here's ten dollars.
Yes, sir!
I'll bring back the change.
♪ ♪
Howdy, Miss Jane.
Mr. Clampett,
are the Brewsters
still in the cabin?
Yep, and happy as a pair
of squirrels in a nut tree.
No, Mr. Clampett.
No?
No.
You see, the
Brewsters have bought
a vacant lot here
in Beverly Hills
and that's where Mrs. Brewster
wants to put up her dream house.
The dickens you say!
That's the simple truth.
And all this time
we had 'em stuck way
out in the back there.
Yes.
Well, uh, where
is this lot of theirs?
Let me drive you over
and show it to you.
Fine and dandy.
Morning, Miss Hathaway.
Good morning, Chief.
You know, I could
hardly sleep last night
for worrying about
the Brewsters.
They're waiting for
you in your office.
Uh-oh! Chief, wait...
Everything's all right!
It is? Yes,
they moved into their
hotel last evening.
Oh, well. Milburn,
I thought I heard your voice.
Edythe and I are gonna
pick up our architect
and drive by the lot.
I thought you might
like to come along.
You, too, Miss Hathaway.
Thank you, but
I've seen the lot.
It's just lovely!
I'll be back in about an hour.
Well, John, Edythe,
how do you like
the way I got you back into
your hotel room so quickly?
It was magic, Milburn.
Pure magic.
Just took a little
intelligent thinking.
We're getting close,
Mr. McKeegan.
You're certainly fortunate
to find a vacant
lot on this street.
They paid enough for it!
By the way, John,
did anyone mention
a five percent discount
on your escrow fee?
No. Good, forget it.
Here it is, coming
up on your right.
Cary Grant is one
of our neighbors!
Edythe's so thrilled she
doesn't know what to...
What?!
Oh, John!
(cow mooing)
(gasps)
Oh!
Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
Here's your dream house!
Took us all night to get it up,
but she's ready now!
(sobbing)
Look!
Mrs. Brewster's
gone to bawlin' again!
No doubt about it,
that woman just can't
take too much happiness!
(theme song playing)
♪ Well, now it's time
to say good-bye ♪
♪ To Jed and all his kin ♪
♪ And they would
like to thank you folks ♪
♪ Fer kindly droppin' in ♪
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality ♪
♪ To have a heapin'
helpin' of their hospitality ♪
♪ Hillbilly, that is ♪
♪ Set a spell ♪
♪ Take your shoes off ♪
♪ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ♪
This has been a
Filmways Presentation.