The Beverly Hillbillies (1962–1971): Season 3, Episode 10 - The Ballet - full transcript
♪ Come and listen to my
story about a man named Jed ♪
♪ A poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
♪ And then one day, he
was shooting at some food ♪
♪ And up through the ground
come a-bubbling crude ♪
♪ Oil, that is ♪
♪ Black gold ♪
♪ Texas tea ♪
♪ Well, the first thing you
know, old Jed's a millionaire ♪
♪ The kinfolk said, "Jed,
move away from there" ♪
♪ Said, "Californy is the
place you ought to be" ♪
♪ So they loaded up the truck
and they moved to Beverly ♪
♪ Hills, that is ♪
♪ Swimming pools, movie stars. ♪
Granny, just wait'll you see
how pretty Cousin Bessie looks.
It'll cheer you right up.
Come on, Skip.
Fetch in Cousin Bessie.
Look, Granny... Ain't
Cousin Bessie cute?
Stop calling that
monkey "cousin"!
Well, she's Skipper's cousin.
Get 'em out of here.
Well, Granny, I thought you
was lonesome for company.
Not that kind of company!
Get 'em out of here.
All right. Yes, ma'am.
Well, come on, cousins.
Granny...
I got something I
want to show you.
You know how you're always
talking about how lonely you are
and nobody ever comes to
visit you here in Beverly Hills?
That's right. Well, them movie
stars got the same trouble.
No! Movie stars?
Them poor souls is
so lonely for visitors
that they have got maps made up
showing how to
get to their homes.
GRANNY: I'll be switched.
Where'd you get this?
They got their young'uns
out along Sunset Boulevard,
waving 'em and
yelling at the cars.
They must be plumb desperate.
There. Looky there.
Cary Grant.
There's Doris Day.
Bless their poor,
lonesome souls.
I know just how they feel.
Just goes to show you, Granny,
about the time you get to
feeling sorry for yourself,
along comes somebody
that's worse off than you.
Ain't it the truth.
Jed, I've been wanting
to have a quiltin' bee
and a molasses stir-off.
Suppose I invite some of them
poor, lonesome
movie star ladies.
Well, that's a
dandy idea, Granny.
Let's see who
they got here... uh,
Jo-an Crawford,
Marlene Dietrich,
Gree-ta Garbo.
Can't you find any famous ones?
Yeah, here's one.
Here's the biggest.
America's sweetheart,
Mary Pickford.
Now, you wouldn't want
to have a molasses stir-off
without little Mary, would you?
That's a fact!
I'll have Jethro cut her
an extry long sop stick,
so she won't get her
curls in the hot sorghum.
Wait, Granny, they got
a lot of fellas on here.
Uh, why not have a barn
dance and invite them, too?
Ah. That's a good idea.
Is there enough fellers to
pair off for a square dance?
Now, let's see, there's,
uh, Danny Kaye...
Ray Bolger, Bing
Crosby, Fred Astaire.
Might even be a tolerable
dancer in the bunch.
I hope so!
I've just been itchin' to
have a good old-fashioned,
window-rattlin' hoedown!
Me, too! Yee-haw!
Jed!
Come on, let's commence calling
on them poor,
lonesome movie stars
and invite 'em to our dance.
Well, uh, you and Jethro are
gonna have to do that, Granny.
I'm waiting for Mrs. Drysdale to
come over and see me. What about?
Well, she wants me
to put some money
in a new business
she's starting,
something called, uh,
Beverly Hills Ballet Company.
What's a ballet company?
Company that makes
ballets, I reckon,
whatever they are.
Invite her to our dance!
Yippee! I will!
Do-si-do!
And down we go and up we go!
Up we go and down we go!
(piano playing classical music)
♪ ♪
(music ends)
Bravo, maestro! Bravo!
Divine, mes cheres!
Oh, maestro, the Beverly
Hills Ballet Company
is going to be without peer!
At the moment, it
is without money.
We need more
dancers, more costumes,
musicians, a
theater, everything!
Yes, I know... I've set
my goal at $200,000.
And, uh, you are
nearing this goal?
I need only one more donation.
Do you hear that, my children?
One more... Run!
Leap! Jump! Work! Dance!
♪ ♪
M-Maestro, I haven't finished.
That one donation
must be for $190,000.
Save it!
(music stops)
Rest.
However, there is a man,
Mr. J.D. Clampett, who
could pledge that amount
and never miss it.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Run! Leap! Jump! Work!
No. Not you, not you.
Her.
Go see this gentleman.
Gentleman?
He's a crude, crass
lout of a hillbilly.
He's never even seen a ballet.
Well, we're even... I
have never seen $190,000.
Oh! Greetings, maestro.
And a happy arabesque
to you, mes enfants.
(chuckles): Oh, Mrs.
Drysdale, your husband
grows impatient for lunch, and we
have to make a stop at the Clampetts first.
Oh, dear, I dread this ordeal.
Au revoir, maestro.
Madame.
Au revoir, blithe spirits.
All right, children,
from the top.
(piano playing classical music)
(square-dance music playing)
Swing your partner, all sashay,
allemande left with Doris Day.
Yee-haw!
Hold them hands
and circle right,
Cary Grant is stepping tonight.
Yee-haw!
Back so soon, Granny?
(exhales)
Hey, Pa's got some dandy
new calls for the square dance.
You run into trouble?
How many movie
stars did you see?
I didn't see none!
Well, how come?
Didn't Jethro take you
around to all the homes?
Oh, yeah... must've
been to a dozen of them,
with love in my heart
and a smile on my face.
And what do you think
I got for my trouble?
I got doors slammed,
butler-sassed and dog-bit!
Dog-bit?
Yeah, dog-bit!
Come on, Margaret.
Milburn, I can't do it.
You ask them to
pledge the money.
Or Miss Hathaway.
No, sir. For two years,
you've done nothing but
mean-mouth the Clampetts.
Now that you want their money,
you can jolly well
sweet-mouth them.
Just ask them.
But the money is not for me,
it's to bring the
ballet to Beverly Hills.
Well, I don't care if it's to
bring the Beatles to Bel-Air.
Please?
Oh, no.
If you want their bread,
you put the bite on 'em.
Milburn... I simply can't!
I can't humble myself
to those peasants.
Okay. Chief?
If I may interpose
a word of reason.
All right, but don't
make it Cicero's oration.
Mrs. Drysdale, to
see Beverly Hills
have its own ballet company
has been your lifelong dream.
And now, just when
the muse of terpsichore
is about to dance her
pas de deux with reality,
do not permit
the villain of pride
to drop the curtain of failure
upon the twinkling
toes of success.
Lift high the banner of art,
unfurl the pennant of culture...
And stuff them both in
the mouth of my secretary.
What in tarnation is going on!
Stand clear down there!
Granny, what are you doing?
I'm moving back home,
that's what I'm doing.
Have Jethro commence
loading up my stuff.
The quicker I get out of
Beverly Hills, the better!
What's going on, Pa?
Your granny's moving out again.
You get this stuff picked
up... I'll go talk to her.
That's it, Bessie, you help me.
Please come with me, Milburn?
No, Margaret, this is
something you must do.
And do it fast...
I'm late for lunch.
Uh, Chief, if I may
interpose a word of reason...
You may wait in the car, Cicero.
Now, you'll find
out for yourself that
the Clampetts are not what
you accuse them of being,
but kind, gentle,
generous people.
Well, hi there, Mrs. Drysdale.
Come right in.
Would you like to
meet Cousin Bessie?
Uh, yes, indeed.
Any member of your
family is a friend of mine.
Here she is.
Wha-What a charming
little, uh, cousin.
You like her?
(laughs nervously):
She's adorable.
You hear that, Bessie?
Give Mrs. Drysdale a kiss.
No.
Well, she don't mind.
Thank you.
Where's your father?
Oh, he's in the zoo.
Not her father, yours.
Oh. He's upstairs
in Granny's room.
Go right on up. (nervous laugh)
Mr. Clampett, Granny,
may I speak to you
about the ballet?
How would you like to have
the door slammed in your face!
Get chased off the property!
How would you like to
have the dogs sicced on you!
(screams)
Margaret, I'm late for lunch.
Where are you going? Home!
Shall I follow her, Chief?
No. The food's better downtown.
Pa, Granny's coming to
get the rest of her things.
You ain't gonna let her
go back home, are you?
Don't worry about it, Elly,
I had Jethro hide the truck.
If Granny's coming, you
better hide Cousin Bessie.
(gasps)
Thought you could stop
me by hiding the truck, huh?
Well, it didn't work.
I'm moving back home
in the wheelbarrow.
That's a far piece from
Beverly Hills, Granny.
Ain't far enough to suit me!
Who told you you
could lay on my bed!
Same fella that told you you
could take my wheelbarrow.
Oh.
Out of this place.
Gettin' out of here right now.
Beverly Hills...
Beverly Hills.
Movie stars...
Invited them to my
molasses stir-off.
(muttering)
Beverly Hills...
showed up.
What kind of people
are there here?
Place is full of smog.
Can't get out of here
soon enough to suit me.
Been here too long as it is.
That's what I'll do... Can't
wait to get out of the...
(piano playing classical music)
(door opening)
Ah, Miss Hathaway, you
have brought the money!
And you, you must
be Mr. Clampett,
our hillbilly patron.
Leap for joy, children!
Maestro, we did
not get the money.
What?! Hold it!
And this gentleman
is not... Gentleman?!
Mrs. Drysdale was right.
He is a crass, crude lout.
Maestro... His fine
clothes do not fool me.
He has the look of a pig.
And you... you have the look of
an unemployed jumping teacher.
Maestro, this is Mr. Drysdale.
Oh, my humblest
apologies, fine gentleman.
You are going to
put up the money
for the Beverly Hills
Ballet Company?
I am not!
He still has the look of a pig!
Why, you...
Chief, if I may interpose
a word of reason...
You get back to the bank now!
I have wasted all
the time I'm going to
on this non-profit organization!
Maestro, Maestro, listen to me.
All is not lost.
Contrary to what Mrs.
Drysdale has told you,
Mr. Clampett is a man
of vision and intelligence.
Once he has been exposed
to the beauty of the ballet,
he will gladly pledge the money.
You think so?
I am positive.
Take some of your dancers,
speed to his mansion
and reveal to him the
poetry of motion that is ballet.
Yes, yes, that is
what we're going to do.
Wonderful idea. Wonderful idea.
By dingies, this wheelbarrow
holds more than the truck.
Have I forgot anything?
Oh, yeah.
What, the...?
That's the first one of them
that ever grabbed me back.
(yells)
That little varmint
drug all of my
stuff under the bed.
Shall I wait?
No, but you may come
back in a half hour.
Meantime, we have
a performance to give
and $190,000 to collect.
Wow, 190 grand for a half hour?
Hey, how do you get
into this ballet racket?
Begone, peasant.
Good, my children.
You must be as
supple as gazelles.
Now, Granny, don't
judge a whole town
buy a few butlers.
A place the size
of Beverly Hills
is bound to have
some nice folks.
If there is, I ain't met 'em.
Now, Granny, you're going
home to a lot of ice and snow.
Just come over here
and look at our flowers
and green grass
and nice leafy tree...
What's wrong, Pa?
Just when I was trying to
sell Granny on Beverly Hills,
some durn fool neighbor
commences to running
around in his underwear.
It's worse than I thought.
Now he's chasing a girl
and she ain't got no
clothes on neither.
What happened?
He caught her.
I shall try another door.
Keep supple, my gazelles.
Dance, dance.
Now he's after two of 'em.
Run, girls.
I'll hold him while
you get away.
Maestro! Maestro!
Well, leastwise,
I scared him off.
Now quick, get
into your clothes.
These are all the
clothes we have.
We're ballerinas.
Both of you?
Yes. She's Margo and I'm Diane.
Pa, Granny's got her
wheelbarrow loaded
and is fixin' to leave.
All right, Elly.
Take care of these girls.
Get 'em some clothes.
They's the Ballerina sisters.
(phone ringing)
Hello.
Mr. Clampett, have the people
from the Beverly Hills
Ballet Company arrived?
No, ma'am, and
I'm glad they haven't.
I got my hands full of trouble.
What's the matter?
Well, Granny's tryin'
to move back home,
and there's some fella
runnin' around in his long johns
chasing a couple of poor sisters
ain't got a dress to their name.
GRANNY: Get off
of there, you varmint!
Sorry, Miss Jane, I got to go.
Get down from there
you hairy little hitchhiker.
Now, Granny, listen to reason.
You can't get this
load out of the house,
much less over the
Rocky Mountains.
We'll see about that.
I declare, you are the
muliest little woman.
ELLY MAY: Pa! Pa! Come quick!
Now you stay here.
I got more trouble than
I know how to handle.
I ain't stayin' anywhere!
And you're gonna help push
when we get to the Rockies.
Elly, where's the girls?
What are you doing in here?
That fella in his
underwear has come back.
Uh-oh.
Oh, good, you caught the rascal.
I want to thank you for
pitching in and helpin'.
I'm Jed Clampett.
You are Mr. Clampett!
Do you hear that, my children?
Are all three of these
young'uns yours?
Yes. I will have
them dance for you,
and then perhaps
you will give us
the money we so
desperately need.
Come, come, children.
Dance, dance.
No, no, they don't
have to dance.
I'll be glad to help you.
Just keep it kind of quiet
and step over here out of sight.
I don't want Granny to see
the way they's dressed...
or undressed.
So you're the one
that's holding me back.
Let go, you grabby
little goomer.
You're ridi" free as it is.
Yeah, I can see where
you'd need money
to buy clothes and all.
How much do
you think it'll take?
$190,000.
$190,000?
For these three young'uns?
Oh, no. I hope to have 50.
Fifty?
Have you spoke to
your wife about this?
Of course.
Well, hopin' and havin'
is two different things.
Here's $35 or $40.
You're welcome to it.
But this is nothing.
We must have
beautiful clothes made.
We must have an
orchestra to play for us.
We must have our own theater.
Mister, I can see there's
something you ain't learned yet.
You got to crawl
before you can walk.
Pa, Granny's tryi" to
come down them stairs
with that wheelbarrow full of...
(loud crash)
(louder crash)
(crashing continues)
You all right, Granny?
Of course I'm all right.
Well, don't stand
there... Help me load up.
I am to make the
state line by dark.
(chattering)
You shut up!
$35... it is an insult.
I should throw it in his face.
Where to, mac?
The nearest drive-in.
We're starving.
No wonder that
fella's out beggin'.
Who, Pa?
That Mr. Ballerina.
His young'uns ain't got
clothes on their backs
and he's spendin'
his money on taxicabs.
Mr. Clampett.
Mr. Clampett.
Oh, howdy, Mrs. Drysdale.
I've been expecting
you since morning.
I came earlier, but
Granny drove me away.
I'm sorry about that.
She's been madder than
a stepped-on cat all day.
Now let's see...
you've been wantin' me
to give you some money
for your ballet company.
Oh, Mr. Clampett,
would you help us?
Why you bet I would.
Oh, by the way,
what is a ballet?
It's the most beautiful
form of the dance.
Dance, huh?
It's something Beverly Hills
has needed for a long time.
I couldn't agree with you more.
You fixin' to have one?
If you'll give me the money.
You got it.
This ballet might
be just the ticket
to keep Granny from moving out.
She's pretty near
as fond of dancing
as she is to scrapin'.
I'll go home and get a pledge.
Pledge?
Yes. Everyone who participates
is required to sign a pledge.
Well, sounds like a good idea.
I always did say, dancin'
and drinkin' don't mix.
Granny, please don't
go. (door opening)
Pa, don't let Granny go.
I don't blame her, Elly.
If I was Granny,
I wouldn't want to
get showed up myself.
Showed up by who... doin' what?
Mrs. Drysdale, dancin'.
That woman ain't
never seen the day
she could outdance me.
This is the stuff you
don't know, Granny.
It's something called ballet.
I got to brush up on it myself.
If I couldn't ballet
better than that,
I'd give up.
Oh, you know the dance?
I was balleting long before
you or Mrs. Drysdale
was ever born.
(knocking) Come in.
Mr. Clampett, I must
speak to you about the ballet.
Uh... uh... I got
to talk to you first.
What about, Granny?
About the best road
to take over the Rockies
with a wheelbarrow.
Best road to...?
Never mind that.
Where does a person
learn ballet dancin'?
Well, a ballet studio.
Let's go.
Oh, but, Granny...
Don't argue with me.
Get in this thing and drive.
But, Miss Hathaway,
this is madness.
But listen, Maestro,
she holds the key to the future
of the Beverly Hills
Ballet Company.
We're ready, Maestro.
All right, my children.
Very pretty now.
(claps hands) Entrez!
Courage, Maestro.
Maestro! Victory is ours!
I have Mr. Clampett's pledge!
Dance! Leap with joy, children!
Beverly Hills will have
a ballet second to none!
Granny!
How do you like this
balleting, Ms. Drysdale?!
Let's go, Roy!
(theme song playing)
♪ Well, now it's time
to say good-bye ♪
♪ To Jed and all his kin ♪
♪ And they would
like to thank you folks ♪
♪ Fer kindly droppin' in ♪
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality ♪
♪ To have a heapin'
helpin' of their hospitality ♪
♪ Hillbilly, that is ♪
♪ Set a spell ♪
♪ Take your shoes off ♪
♪ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ♪
This has been a
Filmways Presentation.
story about a man named Jed ♪
♪ A poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
♪ And then one day, he
was shooting at some food ♪
♪ And up through the ground
come a-bubbling crude ♪
♪ Oil, that is ♪
♪ Black gold ♪
♪ Texas tea ♪
♪ Well, the first thing you
know, old Jed's a millionaire ♪
♪ The kinfolk said, "Jed,
move away from there" ♪
♪ Said, "Californy is the
place you ought to be" ♪
♪ So they loaded up the truck
and they moved to Beverly ♪
♪ Hills, that is ♪
♪ Swimming pools, movie stars. ♪
Granny, just wait'll you see
how pretty Cousin Bessie looks.
It'll cheer you right up.
Come on, Skip.
Fetch in Cousin Bessie.
Look, Granny... Ain't
Cousin Bessie cute?
Stop calling that
monkey "cousin"!
Well, she's Skipper's cousin.
Get 'em out of here.
Well, Granny, I thought you
was lonesome for company.
Not that kind of company!
Get 'em out of here.
All right. Yes, ma'am.
Well, come on, cousins.
Granny...
I got something I
want to show you.
You know how you're always
talking about how lonely you are
and nobody ever comes to
visit you here in Beverly Hills?
That's right. Well, them movie
stars got the same trouble.
No! Movie stars?
Them poor souls is
so lonely for visitors
that they have got maps made up
showing how to
get to their homes.
GRANNY: I'll be switched.
Where'd you get this?
They got their young'uns
out along Sunset Boulevard,
waving 'em and
yelling at the cars.
They must be plumb desperate.
There. Looky there.
Cary Grant.
There's Doris Day.
Bless their poor,
lonesome souls.
I know just how they feel.
Just goes to show you, Granny,
about the time you get to
feeling sorry for yourself,
along comes somebody
that's worse off than you.
Ain't it the truth.
Jed, I've been wanting
to have a quiltin' bee
and a molasses stir-off.
Suppose I invite some of them
poor, lonesome
movie star ladies.
Well, that's a
dandy idea, Granny.
Let's see who
they got here... uh,
Jo-an Crawford,
Marlene Dietrich,
Gree-ta Garbo.
Can't you find any famous ones?
Yeah, here's one.
Here's the biggest.
America's sweetheart,
Mary Pickford.
Now, you wouldn't want
to have a molasses stir-off
without little Mary, would you?
That's a fact!
I'll have Jethro cut her
an extry long sop stick,
so she won't get her
curls in the hot sorghum.
Wait, Granny, they got
a lot of fellas on here.
Uh, why not have a barn
dance and invite them, too?
Ah. That's a good idea.
Is there enough fellers to
pair off for a square dance?
Now, let's see, there's,
uh, Danny Kaye...
Ray Bolger, Bing
Crosby, Fred Astaire.
Might even be a tolerable
dancer in the bunch.
I hope so!
I've just been itchin' to
have a good old-fashioned,
window-rattlin' hoedown!
Me, too! Yee-haw!
Jed!
Come on, let's commence calling
on them poor,
lonesome movie stars
and invite 'em to our dance.
Well, uh, you and Jethro are
gonna have to do that, Granny.
I'm waiting for Mrs. Drysdale to
come over and see me. What about?
Well, she wants me
to put some money
in a new business
she's starting,
something called, uh,
Beverly Hills Ballet Company.
What's a ballet company?
Company that makes
ballets, I reckon,
whatever they are.
Invite her to our dance!
Yippee! I will!
Do-si-do!
And down we go and up we go!
Up we go and down we go!
(piano playing classical music)
♪ ♪
(music ends)
Bravo, maestro! Bravo!
Divine, mes cheres!
Oh, maestro, the Beverly
Hills Ballet Company
is going to be without peer!
At the moment, it
is without money.
We need more
dancers, more costumes,
musicians, a
theater, everything!
Yes, I know... I've set
my goal at $200,000.
And, uh, you are
nearing this goal?
I need only one more donation.
Do you hear that, my children?
One more... Run!
Leap! Jump! Work! Dance!
♪ ♪
M-Maestro, I haven't finished.
That one donation
must be for $190,000.
Save it!
(music stops)
Rest.
However, there is a man,
Mr. J.D. Clampett, who
could pledge that amount
and never miss it.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Run! Leap! Jump! Work!
No. Not you, not you.
Her.
Go see this gentleman.
Gentleman?
He's a crude, crass
lout of a hillbilly.
He's never even seen a ballet.
Well, we're even... I
have never seen $190,000.
Oh! Greetings, maestro.
And a happy arabesque
to you, mes enfants.
(chuckles): Oh, Mrs.
Drysdale, your husband
grows impatient for lunch, and we
have to make a stop at the Clampetts first.
Oh, dear, I dread this ordeal.
Au revoir, maestro.
Madame.
Au revoir, blithe spirits.
All right, children,
from the top.
(piano playing classical music)
(square-dance music playing)
Swing your partner, all sashay,
allemande left with Doris Day.
Yee-haw!
Hold them hands
and circle right,
Cary Grant is stepping tonight.
Yee-haw!
Back so soon, Granny?
(exhales)
Hey, Pa's got some dandy
new calls for the square dance.
You run into trouble?
How many movie
stars did you see?
I didn't see none!
Well, how come?
Didn't Jethro take you
around to all the homes?
Oh, yeah... must've
been to a dozen of them,
with love in my heart
and a smile on my face.
And what do you think
I got for my trouble?
I got doors slammed,
butler-sassed and dog-bit!
Dog-bit?
Yeah, dog-bit!
Come on, Margaret.
Milburn, I can't do it.
You ask them to
pledge the money.
Or Miss Hathaway.
No, sir. For two years,
you've done nothing but
mean-mouth the Clampetts.
Now that you want their money,
you can jolly well
sweet-mouth them.
Just ask them.
But the money is not for me,
it's to bring the
ballet to Beverly Hills.
Well, I don't care if it's to
bring the Beatles to Bel-Air.
Please?
Oh, no.
If you want their bread,
you put the bite on 'em.
Milburn... I simply can't!
I can't humble myself
to those peasants.
Okay. Chief?
If I may interpose
a word of reason.
All right, but don't
make it Cicero's oration.
Mrs. Drysdale, to
see Beverly Hills
have its own ballet company
has been your lifelong dream.
And now, just when
the muse of terpsichore
is about to dance her
pas de deux with reality,
do not permit
the villain of pride
to drop the curtain of failure
upon the twinkling
toes of success.
Lift high the banner of art,
unfurl the pennant of culture...
And stuff them both in
the mouth of my secretary.
What in tarnation is going on!
Stand clear down there!
Granny, what are you doing?
I'm moving back home,
that's what I'm doing.
Have Jethro commence
loading up my stuff.
The quicker I get out of
Beverly Hills, the better!
What's going on, Pa?
Your granny's moving out again.
You get this stuff picked
up... I'll go talk to her.
That's it, Bessie, you help me.
Please come with me, Milburn?
No, Margaret, this is
something you must do.
And do it fast...
I'm late for lunch.
Uh, Chief, if I may
interpose a word of reason...
You may wait in the car, Cicero.
Now, you'll find
out for yourself that
the Clampetts are not what
you accuse them of being,
but kind, gentle,
generous people.
Well, hi there, Mrs. Drysdale.
Come right in.
Would you like to
meet Cousin Bessie?
Uh, yes, indeed.
Any member of your
family is a friend of mine.
Here she is.
Wha-What a charming
little, uh, cousin.
You like her?
(laughs nervously):
She's adorable.
You hear that, Bessie?
Give Mrs. Drysdale a kiss.
No.
Well, she don't mind.
Thank you.
Where's your father?
Oh, he's in the zoo.
Not her father, yours.
Oh. He's upstairs
in Granny's room.
Go right on up. (nervous laugh)
Mr. Clampett, Granny,
may I speak to you
about the ballet?
How would you like to have
the door slammed in your face!
Get chased off the property!
How would you like to
have the dogs sicced on you!
(screams)
Margaret, I'm late for lunch.
Where are you going? Home!
Shall I follow her, Chief?
No. The food's better downtown.
Pa, Granny's coming to
get the rest of her things.
You ain't gonna let her
go back home, are you?
Don't worry about it, Elly,
I had Jethro hide the truck.
If Granny's coming, you
better hide Cousin Bessie.
(gasps)
Thought you could stop
me by hiding the truck, huh?
Well, it didn't work.
I'm moving back home
in the wheelbarrow.
That's a far piece from
Beverly Hills, Granny.
Ain't far enough to suit me!
Who told you you
could lay on my bed!
Same fella that told you you
could take my wheelbarrow.
Oh.
Out of this place.
Gettin' out of here right now.
Beverly Hills...
Beverly Hills.
Movie stars...
Invited them to my
molasses stir-off.
(muttering)
Beverly Hills...
showed up.
What kind of people
are there here?
Place is full of smog.
Can't get out of here
soon enough to suit me.
Been here too long as it is.
That's what I'll do... Can't
wait to get out of the...
(piano playing classical music)
(door opening)
Ah, Miss Hathaway, you
have brought the money!
And you, you must
be Mr. Clampett,
our hillbilly patron.
Leap for joy, children!
Maestro, we did
not get the money.
What?! Hold it!
And this gentleman
is not... Gentleman?!
Mrs. Drysdale was right.
He is a crass, crude lout.
Maestro... His fine
clothes do not fool me.
He has the look of a pig.
And you... you have the look of
an unemployed jumping teacher.
Maestro, this is Mr. Drysdale.
Oh, my humblest
apologies, fine gentleman.
You are going to
put up the money
for the Beverly Hills
Ballet Company?
I am not!
He still has the look of a pig!
Why, you...
Chief, if I may interpose
a word of reason...
You get back to the bank now!
I have wasted all
the time I'm going to
on this non-profit organization!
Maestro, Maestro, listen to me.
All is not lost.
Contrary to what Mrs.
Drysdale has told you,
Mr. Clampett is a man
of vision and intelligence.
Once he has been exposed
to the beauty of the ballet,
he will gladly pledge the money.
You think so?
I am positive.
Take some of your dancers,
speed to his mansion
and reveal to him the
poetry of motion that is ballet.
Yes, yes, that is
what we're going to do.
Wonderful idea. Wonderful idea.
By dingies, this wheelbarrow
holds more than the truck.
Have I forgot anything?
Oh, yeah.
What, the...?
That's the first one of them
that ever grabbed me back.
(yells)
That little varmint
drug all of my
stuff under the bed.
Shall I wait?
No, but you may come
back in a half hour.
Meantime, we have
a performance to give
and $190,000 to collect.
Wow, 190 grand for a half hour?
Hey, how do you get
into this ballet racket?
Begone, peasant.
Good, my children.
You must be as
supple as gazelles.
Now, Granny, don't
judge a whole town
buy a few butlers.
A place the size
of Beverly Hills
is bound to have
some nice folks.
If there is, I ain't met 'em.
Now, Granny, you're going
home to a lot of ice and snow.
Just come over here
and look at our flowers
and green grass
and nice leafy tree...
What's wrong, Pa?
Just when I was trying to
sell Granny on Beverly Hills,
some durn fool neighbor
commences to running
around in his underwear.
It's worse than I thought.
Now he's chasing a girl
and she ain't got no
clothes on neither.
What happened?
He caught her.
I shall try another door.
Keep supple, my gazelles.
Dance, dance.
Now he's after two of 'em.
Run, girls.
I'll hold him while
you get away.
Maestro! Maestro!
Well, leastwise,
I scared him off.
Now quick, get
into your clothes.
These are all the
clothes we have.
We're ballerinas.
Both of you?
Yes. She's Margo and I'm Diane.
Pa, Granny's got her
wheelbarrow loaded
and is fixin' to leave.
All right, Elly.
Take care of these girls.
Get 'em some clothes.
They's the Ballerina sisters.
(phone ringing)
Hello.
Mr. Clampett, have the people
from the Beverly Hills
Ballet Company arrived?
No, ma'am, and
I'm glad they haven't.
I got my hands full of trouble.
What's the matter?
Well, Granny's tryin'
to move back home,
and there's some fella
runnin' around in his long johns
chasing a couple of poor sisters
ain't got a dress to their name.
GRANNY: Get off
of there, you varmint!
Sorry, Miss Jane, I got to go.
Get down from there
you hairy little hitchhiker.
Now, Granny, listen to reason.
You can't get this
load out of the house,
much less over the
Rocky Mountains.
We'll see about that.
I declare, you are the
muliest little woman.
ELLY MAY: Pa! Pa! Come quick!
Now you stay here.
I got more trouble than
I know how to handle.
I ain't stayin' anywhere!
And you're gonna help push
when we get to the Rockies.
Elly, where's the girls?
What are you doing in here?
That fella in his
underwear has come back.
Uh-oh.
Oh, good, you caught the rascal.
I want to thank you for
pitching in and helpin'.
I'm Jed Clampett.
You are Mr. Clampett!
Do you hear that, my children?
Are all three of these
young'uns yours?
Yes. I will have
them dance for you,
and then perhaps
you will give us
the money we so
desperately need.
Come, come, children.
Dance, dance.
No, no, they don't
have to dance.
I'll be glad to help you.
Just keep it kind of quiet
and step over here out of sight.
I don't want Granny to see
the way they's dressed...
or undressed.
So you're the one
that's holding me back.
Let go, you grabby
little goomer.
You're ridi" free as it is.
Yeah, I can see where
you'd need money
to buy clothes and all.
How much do
you think it'll take?
$190,000.
$190,000?
For these three young'uns?
Oh, no. I hope to have 50.
Fifty?
Have you spoke to
your wife about this?
Of course.
Well, hopin' and havin'
is two different things.
Here's $35 or $40.
You're welcome to it.
But this is nothing.
We must have
beautiful clothes made.
We must have an
orchestra to play for us.
We must have our own theater.
Mister, I can see there's
something you ain't learned yet.
You got to crawl
before you can walk.
Pa, Granny's tryi" to
come down them stairs
with that wheelbarrow full of...
(loud crash)
(louder crash)
(crashing continues)
You all right, Granny?
Of course I'm all right.
Well, don't stand
there... Help me load up.
I am to make the
state line by dark.
(chattering)
You shut up!
$35... it is an insult.
I should throw it in his face.
Where to, mac?
The nearest drive-in.
We're starving.
No wonder that
fella's out beggin'.
Who, Pa?
That Mr. Ballerina.
His young'uns ain't got
clothes on their backs
and he's spendin'
his money on taxicabs.
Mr. Clampett.
Mr. Clampett.
Oh, howdy, Mrs. Drysdale.
I've been expecting
you since morning.
I came earlier, but
Granny drove me away.
I'm sorry about that.
She's been madder than
a stepped-on cat all day.
Now let's see...
you've been wantin' me
to give you some money
for your ballet company.
Oh, Mr. Clampett,
would you help us?
Why you bet I would.
Oh, by the way,
what is a ballet?
It's the most beautiful
form of the dance.
Dance, huh?
It's something Beverly Hills
has needed for a long time.
I couldn't agree with you more.
You fixin' to have one?
If you'll give me the money.
You got it.
This ballet might
be just the ticket
to keep Granny from moving out.
She's pretty near
as fond of dancing
as she is to scrapin'.
I'll go home and get a pledge.
Pledge?
Yes. Everyone who participates
is required to sign a pledge.
Well, sounds like a good idea.
I always did say, dancin'
and drinkin' don't mix.
Granny, please don't
go. (door opening)
Pa, don't let Granny go.
I don't blame her, Elly.
If I was Granny,
I wouldn't want to
get showed up myself.
Showed up by who... doin' what?
Mrs. Drysdale, dancin'.
That woman ain't
never seen the day
she could outdance me.
This is the stuff you
don't know, Granny.
It's something called ballet.
I got to brush up on it myself.
If I couldn't ballet
better than that,
I'd give up.
Oh, you know the dance?
I was balleting long before
you or Mrs. Drysdale
was ever born.
(knocking) Come in.
Mr. Clampett, I must
speak to you about the ballet.
Uh... uh... I got
to talk to you first.
What about, Granny?
About the best road
to take over the Rockies
with a wheelbarrow.
Best road to...?
Never mind that.
Where does a person
learn ballet dancin'?
Well, a ballet studio.
Let's go.
Oh, but, Granny...
Don't argue with me.
Get in this thing and drive.
But, Miss Hathaway,
this is madness.
But listen, Maestro,
she holds the key to the future
of the Beverly Hills
Ballet Company.
We're ready, Maestro.
All right, my children.
Very pretty now.
(claps hands) Entrez!
Courage, Maestro.
Maestro! Victory is ours!
I have Mr. Clampett's pledge!
Dance! Leap with joy, children!
Beverly Hills will have
a ballet second to none!
Granny!
How do you like this
balleting, Ms. Drysdale?!
Let's go, Roy!
(theme song playing)
♪ Well, now it's time
to say good-bye ♪
♪ To Jed and all his kin ♪
♪ And they would
like to thank you folks ♪
♪ Fer kindly droppin' in ♪
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality ♪
♪ To have a heapin'
helpin' of their hospitality ♪
♪ Hillbilly, that is ♪
♪ Set a spell ♪
♪ Take your shoes off ♪
♪ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ♪
This has been a
Filmways Presentation.