The Beverly Hillbillies (1962–1971): Season 1, Episode 12 - The Great Feud - full transcript

Granny and the rest of the Clampetts start a feud with the Drysdales since Sonny courted Elly May and then stood her up when granny suggested marriage.

COME AND LISTEN TO MY STORY

‘BOUT A MAN NAMED JED,

A POOR MOUNTAINEER

BARELY KEPT HIS FAMILY FED.

AND THEN ONE DAY

HE WAS SHOOTIN AT SOME FOOD,

AND UP THROUGH THE GROUND

COME A BUBBLING CRUDE.

OIL THAT IS,

BLACK GOLD,

TEXAS TEA.

WELL THE FIRST
THING YOU KNOW

OL' JED'S A MILLIONAIRE,

THE KIN FOLKS SAID,

"JED, MOVE AWAY FROM THERE".

SAID, "CALIFORNY IS THE
PLACE YOU OUGHT TO BE",

SO THEY LOADED UP THE TRUCK

AND THEY MOVED TO BEVERLY,

HILLS THAT IS,

SWIMMING POOLS,

MOVIE STARS.

THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES.

NOW COME ALONG AND VISIT

WITH THE CLAMPETT FAMILY

AS THEY TAKE YOU
TO THEIR MANSION

IN THE HILLS OF BEVERLY,

AND WHEN THEY DO
YOU'LL RUN INTO

A FRIEND OF
THEIRS YOU'VE MET,

THAT GOOD OLD FRIEND
WITH FILTERED BLEND,

WINSTON CIGARETTE.

WINSTON TASTES GOOD

LIKE A CIGARETTE SHOULD.

(SINGING)
NOW GET A GRIP
UPON YOUR CHAIRS

AND HOLD YOUR CHILDREN TIGHT,

A MIGHTY FEUD IS STARTIN'

AND YOU'LL SEE IT ALL TONIGHT.

THE CLAMPETT
CLAN IS FIGHTIN' MAD,

THEIR HONOR'S
BEEN BESMIRCHED,

SWEET ELLY MAY'S
BEEN COURTED,

BUT THE DARLIN’
AIN'T BEEN CHURCHED.

IT WAS YOUNG SONNY DRYSDALE

THAT COURTED HER AND FLED,

AND NOW THE DRYSDALE FAMILY

Willi FEEL HOT CLAMPETT LEAD.

‘CAUSE, STRANGER,
YOU DON'T TRIFLE

WITH A HILL MAN'S
DAUGHTER FAIR,

OR YOU WILL FACE HIS RIFLE

AND HE'LL DEEPLY
PART YOUR HAIR.

NOW HERE'S THE
HANDSOME RASCAL

THAT STARTED THIS HERE FEUD,

A HARVARD, YALE,
AND PRINCETON MAN,

A SHIFTY CITY DUDE.

HIS GAME WAS LOVE AND RUNAWAY

"CAUSE THAT'S
THE WAY HE LIVES,

BUT THEY DON'T
ALLOW SUCH DOINGS

WITH THEIR FEMALE RELATIVES.

SO NOW THEY'RE ON
THEIR WAY NEXT DOOR

A-LOADED UP FOR BEAR,

AND IF MY NAME WAS DRYSDALE

'D BE GETTING OUT OF THERE.

"CAUSE MOUNTAIN
JUSTICE DOES DEMAND

THAT WHEN A WRONG'S BEEN DONE,

THE KIN OF HIM THAT DONE iT

MUST ALSO FACE A GUN.

NOW SONNY NOTICED ELLY MAY

BESIDE THE SWIMMING POOL,

AND WHEN HE SEEN HER FIGURE

HE LOST HIS YEN FOR SCHOOL.

HE WRAPPED
HIMSELF UP IN A TOWEL

AND PLAYED UPON HIS LYRE,

AND WHILE HE TWANGED,
THE SONGS HE SANG

DID SET HER HEART AFIRE.

HE DROVE HIS FANCY AUTO UP

AND TOOK HER OUT TO SPARK,

AND ALL ALONE, UNCHAPERONED

HE KEPT HER AFTER DARK.

HE TOOK HER IN THE PARLOR

AND HE TAUGHT HER TO BE GRAND,

HE SHOWED HER HOW
TO WALK AND TALK

AND TRIED TO KISS HER HAND.

HE TOOK HER TO
HIS PRIVATE ROOM

TO SEE HIS LOVING CUP,

AND A MAN THAT WINS
A PRIZE FOR THAT

AIN'T ON THE UP AND UP.

HE WOOED HER WITH A TANGO

AND A ROSE BETWIXT HIS TEETH,

A SMILING ON THE OUTSIDE

BUT A-LEERING UNDERNEATH.

THEY EVEN HAD A WEDDING DANCE

AND HE JOINED IN THE FLING,

HE BROUGHT ALONG
HIS DANCING SHOES

BUT DIDN'T BRING NO RING.

THE CLAMPETTS WAS A PLANNIN

FOR A WEDDIN' AND A VEIL,

BUT THEY WAS DUPED,

HE FLEW THE COOP,

AND WENT RUNNIN BACK TO YALE.

AND NOW THE
CLAMPETT CLAN IS HERE

TO EVEN UP THE SCORE,

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE THE MAN

WHO OPENS UP THAT DOOR.

HE'LL HAVE TO
FACE THEIR FURY,

ON REVENGE THEY ARE INTENT,

AND IF HIS NAME IS DRYSDALE

HIS LIFE AIN'T WORTH A CENT.

IT'S THAT BUTLER FELLA.

WHEN WILL YOU CLAMPETTS LEARN

THERE ARE NO POSSUMS
TO HUNT IN BEVERLY HILLS.

IT AIN'T POSSUMS WE'S AFTER,

IT'S DRYSDALES.

WELL, THEY'RE NOT AT HOME.

MRS. DRYSDALE RETURNED
TO BOSTON WITH SONNY,

AND MR. DRYSDALE'S
AT THE BANK.

LET'S SHOOT HIM.

NOW GRANNY,
AIN'T GONNA BE NO SHOOTIN'

LESS THEY'S TALK FIRST.

WHEN WILL
MR. DRYSDALE BE HOME?

NOT UNTIL LATE THIS EVENING.

THAT'S TALK ENOUGH.

LET'S GO TO SHOOTIN".

NOW, GRANNY, YOU CAN'T
SHOOT AN UNARMED MAN.

THAT'S RIGHT,

I LOST MY HEAD.

HERE!

NOW WHEN JETHRO COUNTS THREE

WE GO ATIT.

ONE, TWO...

NOW HOLD ON.

MR. BUTLER HERE
AIN'T DONE US NO WRONG.

HE'S ONE OF THEIR CLAN.

I SAID THERE AIN'T
GONNA BE NO SHOOTIN'

UNLESS THERE'S TALK FIRST.

I'LL SPEAK TO MR. DRYSDALE.

THANK YOU KINDLY, MR. BUTLER.

YES.

THANK YOU VERY
KINDLY, MR. BUTLER.

WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK
HIM TO DANCE WITH YA?

I WAS ASHAMED OF YOU

IN FRONT OF THESE YOUNG'UNS.

THAT ANY WAY TO
LEARN 'EM FEUDIN?

GRANNY.

IT TAKES MY FAMILY
TO KNOW HOW TO FEUD.

WHY WE DROVE THE BODKINS

CLEAN OUT OF
NAPOLEON, TENNESSEE.

CHASED THEM OFF,

BURNT THEIR SHACK,

AND SHOVELED THEIR FOOT
STEPS OFF THE PATH.

HOT DIGGETY DOG!

THAT'S WHAT I CALL FEUDIN'.

I'M SURE PROUD TO COME FROM
A FAMILY LIKE YOURS, GRANNY.

THAT'S THE MOSES FAMILY.

TOO BAD OUR BLOOD
IS BEING THINNED OUT,

COOLED OFF AND WATERED DOWN

WITH THE CLAMPETT BLOOD.

NOW, GRANNY, YOU JUST
SIMMER DOWN TO A BOIL.

PLL SEE THE RIGHT THING
IS DONE BY MY DAUGHTER.

JETHRO, YOU DRIVE
ME DOWN TO THE BANK.

MR. DRYSDALE AND ME

WILL HAVE A MAN TO MAN TALK.

AIN'T YOU ABOUT A
MAN-AND-A-HALF SHORT?

YOU WAIT HERE.

I'LL GO AND SEE MR. DRYSDALE.

YOU FLUSH HIM OUT, UNCLE JED,

I'LL GET HIM ON THE RUN.

NOW WHO TOLD YOU
TO BRING THAT?

GRANNY.

SHE SAYS THERE'S GOTTA BE ONE
FIGHTING MAN IN THE FAMILY.

YOU JUST DRIVE AROUND
AWHILE AND COOL OFF.

PICK ME UP HERE
IN ABOUT A HALF HOUR.

OKAY, UNCLE JED.

(ALARM SOUNDING)

(SCREAMING)

MR. DRYSDALE,
THE BANK'S BEING ROBBED!

YES, AND MY DUTY IS CLEAR.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

AS PRESIDENT OF THIS BANK

THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE
FOR ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS,

MY BULLET PROOF CLOSET.

OOH!

GRANNY!

GRANNY!

GRANNY, ELLY MAY!

COME QUICK,

THEY CAPTURED UNCLE JED!

GRANNY!

JETHRO SAYS THEY GOT PA.

COME ON, GRANNY!

THE DRYSDALE'S GOT UNCLE JED.

I DROPPED HIM OFF AT THE BANK

AND WHEN I COME BACK,

THEY'D CARRIED
HIM OFF SOMEWHERE.

AMBUSHED!

THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.

THAT BUTLER FELLER.

HE TOLD THEM HE WAS COMING

AND THEY LAID A TRAP FOR HIM.

WHAT DO WE DO, GRANNY?

AN EYE FOR AN EYE

AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.

THEY TOOK ONE OF OURN,

WE'LL TAKE ONE OF THEIRN.

WHERE'S YOUR GUN, JETHRO?

I GAVE IT TO UNCLE JED.

I RECKON THE DRYSDALES GOT IT.

WE LOST THE FIRST BATTLE.

THEY TOOK OUR LEADER
AND OUR BEST GUN,

BUT WE AIN'T LOST THE FEUD.

COME ON!

AS JEB STEWART SAYS,

WHEN THEY THINK
THEY GOT YOU LICKED,

ATTACK!

(SINGING)
WELL NOW THE
FEUD IS GOING HOT.

THE CLAMPETTS LOST A MAN,

THEIR LEADER NOW /!S GRANNY

FROM THE FIGHTING MOSES CLAN.

GRANNY LEARNED HER FEUDIN'

WHILE A CHILD
ON MOTHER'S KNEE,

WHEN THE MOSES'
DROVE THE BODKINS

FROM NAPOLEON, TENNESSEE.

NOW, JETHRO, WHEN
HE OPENS THE DOOR

YOU GRAB HIM.

ELLY, HOLD HIS GUN.

YES 'EM.

OKAY, GRANNY.

LET'S GO.

PUT ME DOWN!

PUT HER DOWN, JETHRO,

WE DON'T WANT HER.

WHO DON'T?

WE DON'T.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

THE Y'S A FEUD GOING ON.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, ELLY?

FEUDIN'S FUN.

JETHRO, PUT HER DOWN.

THEY GOT ONE OF OUR MEN FOLKS,

WE'RE GOING TO TAKE
ONE OF THEIR MEN FOLKS.

HOW ABOUT WE TAKE HER
ALONG AS KIND OF AN EXTRA.

NO.

NOT UNLESS THEY'D CAPTURED
ONE OF OUR WOMEN FOLKS.

ELLY MAY, YOU GO IN
THERE AND SURRENDER.

I AIN'T GONNA DO ITI!

JETHRO,

PUT HER DOWN.

HOW 'BOUT I TOTE
HER AS FAR AS HOME

AND THEN LET HER ESCAPE,

A LITTLE AT A TIME.

WAIT.

WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?

HE'S THE ONE WE WANT.

YOU TOTE HIM, ELLY,

MY ARMS IS FULL.

PUT HER DOWN BEFORE
I TAKE YOU TO THE WOOD SHED.

YOU LOOK AWFUL BUSY, GRANNY.

MAYBE I SHOULD
GO TO THE WOOD SHED

AND WAIT FOR YOU.

JUST QUIT IT!

I THINK I'D BETTER
CALL THE POLICE.

STOP IN YOUR TRACKS

WHILE YOU'RE ABLE TO MAKE 'EM.

NOW YOU TURN AROUND.

WALK TOWARDS OUR HOUSE.

I REFUSE TO TAKE ONE STEP.

(GUNSHOT)

NOW!

YOU WANT TO WALK
OR YOU WANT TO LIMP?

MARIE, RUN INSIDE
AND PHONE THE POLICE.

NEVERMIND HER, JETHRO,

SHOOT THE TELEPHONE WIRE.

(GUNSHOTS)

THERE'S WHAT'S HAVING YOUR
MIND ON WOMEN CAN DO TO YA.

IT TOOK YOU TWO
SHOTS TO GET THAT WIRE.

NAH, GRANNY, I GOT TWO WIRES.

GOOD WORK, LIEUTENANT.

YOU'VE APPREHENDED
WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY

A VERY DANGEROUS CRIMINAL.

I'M COMING OVER TO PERSONALLY
HAND THE REWARD MONEY

TO YOU AND YOUR MEN.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, JUST TO YOU,

VERY WELL.

MISS HATHAWAY,

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO DRIVE ME
OVER TO POLICE HEADQUARTERS.

YOU'RE INTERESTED
IN PSYCHOLOGY.

I'M COMPLETELY INTRIGUED
WITH THE SUBJECT.

WHAT'S THE CONNECTION?

THE FELLOW WHO TRIED
TO ROB OUR BANK

MUST BE A COMPLETE NUT.

THEY'VE GOT TWO
PSYCHIATRISTS WITH HIM.

WHAT ARE HIS
PSYCHOTIC SYMPTOMS?

HE CLAIMED TO HAVE
25 MILLION DOLLARS.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

NO, IT COULDN'T BE!

I KEEP A TELLIN' YA
AND A TELLIN' YA,

I GOT 25 MILLION DOLLARS

IN MR. DRYSDALE'S BANK.

NO YOU DIDN'T.

THEY CAUGHT YOU
BEFORE YOU GOT A PENNY.

YOUR PATIENT, DOCTOR.

OBVIOUS DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR.

NOW TELL ME,

ABOUT THIS BANK ATTEMPT.

DID YOU HAVE ANY ACCOMPLICES?

ANY WHAT?

CONFEDERATES.

OH YEAH, GRANNY.

SHE'S A CONFEDERATE.

SHE'S A TENNESSEE MOSES.

TENNESSEE MOSES?

THAT'S RIGHT.

TELL ME,

DID SHE LEAD HER
PEOPLE OUT OF TENNESSEE?

SURE DID, AFTER
THEY WHOOPED THE BODKINS.

DON'T YOU MEAN THE EGYPTIANS?

WELL THEY PROBABLY
WHOOPED EGYPTIANS TOO

IF THEY GOT IN THEIR WAY.

GRANNY'S FOLKS
WAS FIGHTING FOOLS.

THEY CERTAINLY WERE.

THEY DEFEATED THE
BEST FIGHTERS PHARAOH HAD.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT,

BUT THEY WHOOPED THE
BEST FIGHTERS NAPOLEON HAD.

NAPOLEON?

DOCTOR, MAY I?

YOU MAY NOT.

I'M THE ONE WHO UNCOVERED
THIS HALLUCINATION.

TELL ME ABOUT NAPOLEON.

YES.

YOU SAY GRANNY'S
FOLKS WON THAT FIGHT?

THEY SURE DID.

OVER NAPOLEON?

OH YEAH,

THEY TROMPED
ALL OVER NAPOLEON.

FABULOUS.

BUT HOW WERE
THEY ABLE TO DO IT?

DID THEY FIGHT
WITH SUPERIOR WEAPONS?

NO, THEY FOUGHT WITH BODKINS.

I SEE,

AND NAPOLEON DIDN'T
HAVE ANY BODKIN?

NOT AFTER GRANNY'S FOLKS
GOT THROUGH WITH THEM.

NAPOLEON DIDN'T
HAVE A BODKIN LEFT.

I REMEMBER THE
LAST DAY OF THE FEUD

THEY GOT LEIF

AND LUKE

AND ODDS.

ODDS?

ODDS BODKIN.

PLEASE!

ALL RIGHT,

BUT JUST FOR A MINUTE.

WILL IT BE SAFE MR. DRYSDALE?

OH IT'LL BE PERFECTLY SAFE

TO LOOK AT HIM THROUGH
THE BARS, AFTER ALL IT'S...

MR. CLAMPETT!

WHAT IN THE WORLD!

MISS JANE, MR. DRYSDALE,

THEY SURE DIDN'T
TREAT ME VERY GOOD

OVER AT YOUR BANK.

MY FIRST VISIT TOO.

LET THIS MAN OUT OF HERE.

HE'S GOT
$25 MILLION IN MY BANK.

OPEN THIS DOOR,

OPEN IT, OPEN IT!

LIE DOWN, MISTER.

LIEUTENANT!

LIEUTENANT!

GOT THE PRISONER
ALL TIED UP, GRANNY.

GOOD.

CAN I GO BACK AND
GET THE OTHER ONE NOW?

NO YOU CAN'T.

YOU KEEP YOUR
MIND ON YOUR FEUDIN'.

CLOSE THE GATES?

YES, MA'AM.

THROW UP THE BARRICADE?

YES, MA'AM.

GOOD.

HERE, YOU WALK SENTRY

WHILE I CHECK THE LOOKOUT.

ELLY MAY,

ANY SIGN OF THE ENEMY YET?

NOT YET, GRANNY.

ALL CLEAR.

SOUND THE ALARM IF YOU
SEE A DRYSDALE A-COMIN'.

I WILL, GRANNY.

YOU SEE, ALL MY
EMPLOYEES ARE TRAINED

TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT
FOR BANK ROBBERS,

SO NATURALLY
WHEN THEY SAW YOU

WALK IN WITH YOUR RIFLE,

THEIR FIRST INSTINCT, WELL,

IT APPEARED TO
THEM IT WAS JUST...

YOU'RE NOT MAD ARE
YOU, MR. CLAMPETT?

WELL NO, NOT ABOUT THE BANK.

BUT WE'S ALL
RIGHT UPSET AT SONNY

FOR RUNNING OFF
AND JILTIN' ELLY MAY.

SONNY?

JILTING ELLY MAY?

WELL THAT'S WHAT WE'D CALL IT.

HE SPARKED HER
FOR TWO WEEKS RUNNIN'.

TOOK HER DRIVING AND DANCING

AND HELD HER HAND

AND KEPT HER OUT PAST DARK.

BACK WHERE WE COME FROM

THAT'S JUST THE SAME
AS SAYIN' "WILL YA,"

PROVIDED THE GIRL
IS TWELVE OR BETTER.

MR. CLAMPETT,

YOU HAVE MY WORD OF HONOR,

I HAD NO IDEA ELLY MAY

OR ANY OF YOU
TOOK SONNY SERIOUSLY.

NOW, THE MOMENT
WE GET TO YOUR HOUSE,

I'M GOING TO TELEPHONE
SONNY IN BOSTON,

GET HIM ON THE FIRST PLANE,

AND HE'LL BE HERE TONIGHT

TO PROPOSE
MARRIAGE TO ELLY MAY.

WELL NOW, THAT SURE IS GONNA

SMOOTH GRANNY'S
RUFFLED FEATHERS.

SHE'S BEEN MADDER

THAN A BAREFOOT CENTIPEDE

STANDIN' ON A HOT ROCK.

SHE'LL BE HAPPY
WHEN WE GET THERE.

YES, BLESS HER
SWEET LITTLE HEART.

GRANNY, I SEE 'EM,
THEY'S COMINI

HOW MANY IS THEY?

MISS HATHAWAY

AND MR. DRYSDALE.

AND THEY'S
HOLDING PA PRISONER.

COME ON DOWN.

WE'LL STOP THEM AT THE GATE

OR BLAST 'EM AT THE BARRICADE!

JETHRO!

THEY'S A COMING!

GET READY TO DO BATTLE!

BARE YOUR HEAD

IN THE PRESENCE OF
THE STARS AND BARS!

THEY'S GETTING TO THE GATE.

TAKE COVER.

EVERYBODY INSIDE.

WE'LL SHOOT AT THEM
THROUGH THE PORTHOLE.

YOU WON'T HIT
PA WILL YOU, GRANNY?

DON'T WORRY, HONEY.

I CAN HIT A NEW LAID
EGG OUT OF THE NEST

WITHOUT BUDGING THE HEN.

I'LL GET THE GATE.

STOP WHERE YOU ARE,

STAY RIGHT THERE.

(GUNSHOT)

GRANNY, IT'S ME,

MR. DRYSDALE, I'M COMING IN...

(GUNSHOT)

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE FAST!

THAT'LL LEARN THEM YANKEES

WHO THEY'RE FEUDIN' WITH.

(SINGING)
NOW HERE'S THE
DRYSDALE MANSION

WHERE HE'S FLEEING LIKE A RAT,

SINCE GRANNY PUT
A BULLET THROUGH

HIS 20-DOLLAR HAT.

BUT EVEN HERE HE CAN'T ESCAPE

THE SCOURGE OF TENNESSEE,

‘CAUSE SHE'S GOT ELLY SPYING

FROM THE TIP TOP OF A TREE.

GRANNY, THEY TOOK PA OVER
TO THE DRYSDALE'S HOUSE.

COME ON DOWN,

WE'LL GO GET HIM!

WELL I RECKON WE'LL HAVE TO
CALL HER ON THE TELEPHONE.

WHEN GRANNY'S FEUDIN'

SHE'S SOMETIMES
HARD TO REASON WITH.

RECKON SEEING YOU
WITH THAT RIFLE

KIND OF SET IT OFF.

BUT THAT WOMAN SHOT AT ME.

OH, MR DRYSDALE,

SHE SHOT AT YOUR HAT.

IF THAT LITTLE OL' WOMAN

EVER GOES TO
THROWING LEAD AT YOU,

YOU'LL BE CASTING
A POLKA DOT SHADOW.

MARIE, RAVENSWOOD,

WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER THE DOOR?

OH, THANK GOODNESS IT'S YOU.

THE CLAMPETTS CAME
AND CAPTURED RAVENSWOOD.

CAPTURED HIM?

YES,

AND JETHRO PICKED
ME UP IN HIS ARMS.

HE HELD ME AND HELD ME

AND WOULDN'T PUT ME DOWN.

WHY?

SAID HE WAS FEUDING.

WELL NOW DON'T
YOU WORRY, MARIE,

WE'RE GOING TO
GET THIS WHOLE THING

ALL STRAIGHTENED OUT.

MARIE.

TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR

FRIGHTENING
EXPERIENCE WITH JETHRO.

WELL, THERE WAS A KNOCK.

I OPENED THE DOOR

AND JETHRO JUST SWEPT ME UP

INTO HIS BIG STRONG ARMS,

HELD ME TIGHT,

AND WOULDN'T LET ME GO.

AND HE SAID THAT WAS FEUDING?

YES.

THAT'S WHY I WAS AFRAID
TO OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW.

WELL YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH
A SHATTERING ORDEAL.

GO AND LIE DOWN.

I'LL WATCH THE FRONT DOOR.

COME ON, JETHRO,

WE'RE GOING BACK TO
THE DRYSDALE'S HOUSE.

HOT DIGGETY DOG,

THAT'S THE PART
OF FEUDING I LIKE!

AND WE'RE TAKING YOU
WITH US, MR. BUTLER,

AND IF THEY'VE
HARMED ONE HAIR ON JED,

THAT ONE HAIR YOU GOT
WILL PAY THE PRICE.

OH, WON'T YOU
PLEASE LISTEN TO ME?

MR. DRYSDALE'S
NOT FEUDING WITH YOU,

HE'S A PEACEFUL MAN.

HE'S NEVER SHOT
ANYTHING BUT SKEETS.

SKEETS?

HOW MANY DID HE GET?

OH HE DID VERY WELL,

98 OUT OF 100.

THAT'S BETTER THAN WE
DID WITH THE BODKINSI!

WE'RE READY, GRANNY.

COME ON, YOUNG'UNS,

WE GOT OUR FEUDING
CUT OUT FOR US.

THAT DRYSDALE'S
A SHOOTING FOOL.

NOW, ELLY MAY,

YOU CARRY THE
FLAG HIGH AND PROUD.

IF THEY SHOOT YOU,

DON'T YOU LET IT
TOUCH THE GROUND.

THROW IT TO JETHRO
AS YOU'RE FALLING.

I'LL DO IT, GRANNY.

WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?

IF THERE'S ANY
LONG RANGE SHOOTING

THEY'LL THINK HE'S ONE
OF US AND DROP HIM FIRST.

FORWARD, MARCH!

HMM, NO WONDER THE
PHONE WOULDN'T WORK.

MARIE SAID JETHRO
SHOT DOWN THE WIRES.

WELL, WE CAN GO NEXT DOOR

AND USE THE MILLERS' PHONE.

YEP, BEEN CUT
WITH A RIFLE BULLET.

KIND OF RAGGED THOUGH.

JETHRO MUST HAVE BEEN UPSET.

THAT'S BAD SHOOTING

TO CUT THOSE LITTLE
WIRES WITH THE RIFLE?

WHY WHEN THAT BOY
PUTS HIS MIND TO IT

HE CAN PICK A GNAT
OFF A PLATE OF GRITS

AT 500 FEET IN A HEAVY FOG.

(WHISTLE)

I'M THE ONLY ONE
THAT CAN OUTSHOOT HIM,

EXCEPT FOR
GRANNY AND ELLY MAY.

WOW, WHAT SKEET
SHOOTERS YOU'D MAKE.

WHAT'S SKEET?

OH, THEY'RE CLAY PIGEONS,

THAT'S WHAT I SHOOT.

CLAY PIGEONS?

OH, IT'S WONDERFUL, I LOVE IT.

YOUR WIFE MUST BE
A FIRST RATE COOK.

(SINGING)
NOW HERE COMES
GRANNY'S LITTLE BAND

TO FREE THEIR LEADER JED,

AND ANYONE THAT
BLOCKS THEIR PATH

MIGHT JUST AS WELL BE DEAD.

FOR THOUGH THEIR
NUMBERS MAY BE SMALL

THE FLAG THAT LEADS THEIR WAY,

1S THE FLAG THAT
LED PICKETT'S CHARGE

AT GETTYSBURG, PA.

STOP FOR A MINUTE.

IGOT A IDEA.

WE USE MR. BUTLER
HERE AS A DECOY

AND WE'LL SURPRISE 'EM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, GRANNY?

YOU KNOCK ON THE DOOR

AND YOU YELL TO THEM
INSIDE THAT IT'S YOU,

THEN WE'LL RUSH
IN AND WE'LL GET JED.

AND MAYBE SOMEBODY
ELSE TOO, HUH, GRANNY?

YOU KEEP YOUR
MIND ON YOUR FEUDIN.

COME ON.

IT'S ME, RAVENSWOOD.

OPEN UP.

MARIE.

YOU MAY OPEN IT?

NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF,

IT'S JUST RAVENSWOOCD.

STEP ASIDE, DECOY.

ELLY YOU GUARD HIM.

JETHRO,

WHEN THEY OPEN THE DOOR,

WE'LL RUSH 'EM.

YEAH.

WHERE'S JED,

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM?

TALK FAST.

H-H-HE'S NOT HERE,

HE'S NEXT DOOR
WITH MR. DRYSDALE.

SEARCH THE HOUSE, JETHRO.

JETHRO!

JETHRO!

YEAH, GRANNY?

PUT HER DOWN.

SHE'S LIGHT AS A FEATHER!

PUT HER DOWN

AND GO LOOK FOR
YOUR UNCLE JED.

NOW GO SEARCH THE HOUSE.

NOW, JETHRO,

YOU'RE UNFAMILIAR
WITH THE PLACE.

I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND.

WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

A FEUD, IS A FEUD.

THIS WAY, PLEASE.

GRANNY, HERE COMES
PA AND MR. DRYSDALE.

I'LL PICK THAT VARMINT OFF

LIKE I PICKED A BODKIN
OFF A RAIL FENCE.

ELLY MAY, WHAT IN
THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GUARDING THE DECOY, PA.

RAVENSWOOD!

YOU BOSTON YANKEE.

BARE YOUR HEAD IN THE
PRESENCE OF OUR FLAG.

DID YOU SAY "OUR" FLAG?

MY FAMILY CAME
FROM TENNESSEE.

MINE DID TOO!

JED, I ALWAYS
DID LIKE THIS MAN.

WHY SURE, GRANNY,

AND HE'S GOING TO MAKE SONNY

DO THE RIGHT
THING BY ELLY MAY.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, PA?

GONNA MAKE SONNY COME
BACK HERE AND MARRY YOU.

I DON'T WANT TO MARRY SONNY.

YOU SEE, GRANNY,

THE WHOLE DOG-GONE
FEUD WAS FOR NOTHING.

NOT ALTOGETHER, JED.

WHY WE MIGHT NEVER HAVE KNOWN

THAT MR. DRYSDALE HERE,

WAS A FINE GENTLEMAN
FROM TENNESSEE.

TELL ME,

EVER HEAR OF
THE MOSES FAMILY?

HEAR OF THEM,

WHY MY MOTHER'S FAMILY

FEUDED WITH THEM FOR YEARS.

YOU MEAN YOUR MOTHER WAS A...

BODKIN.

MR. DRYSDALE,

DON'T ASK ME WHY,

JUST COMMENCE TO RUNNIN'.

YOU HEARD HIM.

RUN, YOU YELLOW BODKIN,

I AM A MOSES!

UGHI

(GUNSHOTS)

FOR A CITY FELLER
HE SURE CAN RUN.

LIKE A SCARED RABBIT.

WELL, LET'S GO HOME.

JETHRO, PUT HER DOWN.

AW, LISTEN, GRANNY.

I HEARD YOU AND
UNCLE JED TALKING ABOUT

WHAT TO GET ME
FOR CHRISTMAS.

THIS HERE WILL
SAVE YOU SHOPPING.

JETHRO, YOU CAN'T TAKE
HER HOME FOR CHRISTMAS,

NOW PUT HER DOWN.

ONE OF THESE DAYS

I'VE GOT TO HAVE A
LONG TALK WITH THIS BOY.

WELL, NOW IT'S
TIME TO SAY GOODBYE

TO JED AND ALL HIS KIN,

AND THEY WOULD LIKE
TO THANK YOU FOLKS

FOR KINDLY DROPPING IN.

YOU'RE ALL INVITED
BACK NEXT WEEK

TO THIS LOCALITY,

TO HAVE A HEAPIN' HELPIN'

OF THEIR HOSPITALITY.

HILLBILLY THAT {S,

SET A SPELL,

TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF,

Y'ALL COME BACK NOW, Y'HEAR?

THE NATIONAL
SAFETY COUNCIL SAYS

SEAT BELTS COULD SAVE
FIVE THOUSAND LIVES A YEAR.

USE YOUR SEAT BELTS.

THIS HAS BEEN A
FILMWAYS PRESENTATION.