The Batman (2004–2008): Season 4, Episode 2 - Team Penguin - full transcript

Let's do this.

Asleep at the wheel?
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Huh?

Report. What's your status?

Still single.

Haven't met the right girl, I guess.

"Security system off-line."

Oh, and we're in.

MacGuffin secured.

I love this movie!

Do you mind? We can't see.



What I mind is back-seat yakety-yak
while I'm trying to watch a movie!

Teamwork, boys.

Now, that's a blueprint for success.

You said it, general.

Hmm? Hmm.

A team of Gotham's greatest villains...

to do the job
we haven't been able to do alone.

Clip the bat jerk's wings permanently.

Now, that is a blueprint for success.

Huh?

"An invitation to join Team Penguin"?

Let me guess, Bane.

ATM ate your card?

I know, I know. Wait for backup.



Someone say "backup"?

Uh, who's the pixie?

Robin, official partner to the Dark Knight.

Robin, distraction maneuver,
like we practiced.

On it.

He's had training?

He's got moves.

Let's see how he likes mine.

Huh?

Mine.

Robin, stick to the plan.

So you got a new partner.

It's because I changed the presets
on the Batmobile radio, isn't it?

Well, Penguin,
I guess that means old Bane is out.

This kind of thing is exactly why
I've been saying we need to team up, Croc.

In that case, we better fire up
our recruitment drive.

I concur with Firefly.

But one can't simply pull
a super-criminal out of a hat.

Ragdoll. I told you not to do that.

So we still need our fifth.

Recruitment is my job,
thank you very much.

And besides, they all said no already.

But leave it to me
to find the best of the rest.

Someone say "best"?

Killer Moth.

Heard the legendary Penguin
was recruiting.

I'm here to throw in.

Listen, mothball.

There's only room for one killer here.

That's Killer Croc.

Huh? Ugh.

Huh, nice wings. Granny make them?

Now, now, give the man a chance.

What are your special talents?

Attraction to bright lights?
Eating holes in sweaters?

Listen, I can help you guys.
I got a lot of skills.

Do enlighten us, Moth.

Well, I got stealth skills,
code-breaking skills...

karate skills, cocooning skills.

What about coffee-making skills?

I take mine black. Two lumps.

Penguin's recruiting a gang.
Keep a low center.

I understand teamwork's all the rage.

Eyes on your opponent.

Ugh!

What? It's only practice.

We're partners,
but you need to follow my lead.

You didn't earlier, and it almost got you
and Batgirl in trouble.

Hey, I'm not the problem.
She's the one flying solo.

Gentlemen, tonight we show Gotham,
and the bat jerks...

the power of Team Penguin.

What if we call ourselves
the Gotham Gangstas?

Team Penguin is not up for debate!

Now, let's do this.

You see the game last night?
Huh?

- Boo!
- Huh?

We're in. But the only thing here
is some chemical.

That's the dingus. Grab it.

Yes siree, this is a blueprint for success.

Mmm, robust.

- Let's move.
- All in good time, gentlemen.

A light in the sky says
we're about to have company.

Hard or easy? Your choice.

Please say hard. I need the training.

Looks like I'm not the only one
with a lackey.

Who's the lackey now, huh?

Sir?

You might wanna cut back
on his sugar intake.

Penguin's not alone.

Ki-ya!

I think we can take him.

Not him. Them.

Freeze.

Huh?

Ugh!

- I got him.
- Saw him first.

Firefly, high and long.

Great teamwork, boys.

Let's pop a few corks to celebrate.

- Stay down.
- Not a problem.

Bats sure went out with a bang.

Yeah? We always think that.

It doesn't matter.

We kicked those bat butts once,
we can do it again.

Tonight proved it.
Team Penguin is unstoppable.

How about Villains United?

How about you shut up?

Nice teamwork. Real effective.

Would have been
if you'd stayed out of my way...

instead of hogging the ball.

They stole a highly unstable chemical.

Penguin may not realize it...

but as long as it's in their possession,
his team is in danger.

I doubt anyone on that crew
can even spell danger.

They handled themselves better
than we did.

I know, follow your lead.

What's the plan, then?

Drop off the third wheel
and regroup back at the hideout?

He's been to the hideout?

Well, you might as well just go ahead
and tell him your secret identity.

He knows? Of course he does.

After all, he's been your partner now
for a whole week.

Hey, where are we?

Yeah, why are we going here?

A cave?

Really milking this whole
creature-of-the-night theme, huh?

Bruce Wayne? Knew it.

And that makes you Dick Grayson.

And you are...?

Sorry, as a not-quite-official
freelancer...

I have to go the extra mile
to protect my privacy.

She's Barbara Gordon.

Gordon? As in the commish's kid?

Gentlemen, the target.

The stately mansion of Gotham's
own software billionaire, Robert Howard.

No one's been able
to break into that place. I've tried.

Did you have a team of specialists
to take out his security systems...

and a super-chemical to eat through
five layers of laser-proof titanium vault?

It's teamwork
that's going to get us in there.

And it's teamwork
that's going to net us...

Howard's recently purchased
one-of-a-kind ruby-encrusted...

penguin.

I knew it. This is about a stupid bird.

Well, this time, it's a bird.

Next time, it can be an alligator.

Now, where's my lackey
with the chemical?

Having acquired the secret elixir
for his general...

Special Ops Moth approached...

The... The rendezvous point...

The rendezvous point.

At room temperature,
the chemical is a nearly universal solvent.

Then it would seem to be useful
for any number of nefarious purposes.

Sorry, circus boy...

but you can't beat Olympic gymnastics
for teaching acrobatic skills.

How many times have you performed
a triple aerial somersault?

Dozens.

Fifty feet up without a net
over hungry lions?

I don't know if they were hungry.

- They're hitting Robert Howard's mansion.
- Shotgun.

Great. Why doesn't he
just drive us there too?

What is that?

Ugh. It's Moth.

Was him, anyway.

Poor guy.

Must have been the fumes.

I feel awful.

We'll buy him a wreath with the profits.

Now, grab the canister and let's do this.

You couldn't lead us out of a paper bag.
I'm gone.

Quitter, eh? Fine. More for the rest of us.

Guys? Where are you going?

Huh?

What?

I have something on my face, don't I?

Well, well, well.

Maybe now I'll start getting
some respect.

Now, as for Penguin.

He's our leader...

so you guys are gonna start showing him
the respect he deserves.

- Oh, yeah, you bet.
- Of course.

Anything he wants.

You heard him.

Anybody that has a problem
taking orders from me deals with him.

You, fetch the chemical from the truck.

Me?

Wait. Maybe we don't need it.

Looks like your makeover
gave you some new skills.

Forget the chemicals.
Moth's everything I need.

Uh, we need.

Now, let's see what you can do
with those wings.

Three against five is hardly fair.

I count four. Where's Tommy Tagalong?

Oh, Mothy? He's around.

Whoa. What happened to him?

I'm going with hit by a radioactive
mothball from outer space.

Attack!

I've been thinking.
Who needs a team when I have you?

Climb aboard, sir.

Show us your stuff, Moth.

Please,
let's not make this too easy for me.

You think a little water's gonna stop me?

No, but maybe a little ice will.

There it is.

The stuff that dreams are made of.

Happy birthday to me.

And it's not even my birthday.

- You're mine.
- You're mine.

Listen, I'll handle Moth.

You find your own roof to play on.

Fine.

Huh?

Up here.

Okay. Yours.

Hey, get off of my back.

Hyah!

Any final words before you part?

Prepare for landing.

Huh? What landing?

Sir. Sir, look out.

Huh?

- Now that's a blueprint for success.
- Now, that's a blueprint for success.

Blue ribbon in the insect rodeo.

You're not so bad after all.

Well, it was your distraction
that made it possible.

Of course, leaving yourself so exposed
like that is completely reckless.

Oh, yeah? Who crashed
the giant moth monster into the roof?

You'll be 40 before
you get to drive the Batmobile.

At least I'll get to drive it.