The Bachelor Australia (2013–…): Season 10, Episode 1 - The Bachelors - full transcript

OSHER GUNSBERG: Previously...

(REFLECTIVE MUSIC)

Welcome to Australia's
very first season of The Bachelor.

TIM: I just want someone I can
spend the rest of my life with.

(LAUGHS) Hi!
Ah! How are you?

I'm trying not to stack it.

(BELL RINGS)

(WOMEN CHEER)

Ladies, good evening.

(MUSIC BECOMES DRAMATIC)

Tonight...



..everything...

..changes.

Welcome to season 10 of The Bachelor.

And welcome to the Gold Coast.

This is our new home.

But what's been true for 10 years
is still true here.

We're here to find
and to celebrate love.

There will be dates.
There will be roses.

I'm still here.

But beyond that,
who knows where this may land?

It's gonna look and feel
very, very different this season.

For a start,
this is not The Bachelor.

It's The Bachelors, plural.

There's three of them.
An abundance of bachelors.



Three wildly different men
with one thing in common -

they're done with wasting time.

They want to find the one.
They want to fall in love.

And these three men will live here...

..in the Bach Pad.

You'll be seeing a lot of
this stunning 74th-floor penthouse

as these men support each other
through their experience.

There's a lot to love
about this place -

the pool, the gym,
this magnificent view,

which, I might add, includes
a direct line of sight from here...

..to here.

This is the brand-new
Bachelor mansion.

In just a few days,

women from all across the country
will begin to arrive.

Just like our Bachelors, these women
are done with the dating apps.

They're done with being ghosted,
done with people who cannot commit.

And just like our Bachelors,

they're putting their faith
in all of this.

But in 2023, all of this is gonna be
a very different experience,

because it's 2023.

These women have a choice.

There are three Bachelors, after all.

But with more choice
comes more of a voice.

Sitting back,
hoping to get recognised -

don't know if that's gonna get you
what you came here to find.

The dynamics on this season
are different in so many ways.

In fact, we have raised the stakes
higher than ever,

because in a worldwide
Bachelor first, w...

Well, when can I tell them?

Soon? OK.

Soon you'll find out

just how different this season
of The Bachelor is gonna be.

Is that alright? OK.

So, here we go.
Season 10 of The Bachelor.

Let's watch three brand-new
love stories unfold.

Let's meet our Bachelors.

(APPLAUSE)

(TAPS RHYTHMICALLY)

My name is Jed McIntosh.
I'm 25 years old.

I'm a professional drummer
and a songwriter.

(BLUES ROCK MUSIC)

Yeah, I grew up riding on tractors
and carting hay bales

and riding horses.

It's something
that I still love to do.

I am a country boy at heart.

No. No, they wouldn't.

But, you know, you can't judge
a book by its cover,

so you might have to
read the whole thing.

But I grew up playing in church.
My faith is a big part of my life.

For me, it's about relationship,
not religion.

Whatever I'm praying for
or saying I'm thankful for

puts it out of my hands and my mind
into God's hands,

and better him than me.

(MOODY ROCK MUSIC)

As long as I can remember,

all I've wanted to do
was play the drums,

and it's all I've ever known.

SONG: # Yeah. #
It's the best feeling in the world.

And when I was younger,
it was never cool to be a drummer.

It wasn't cool to wear a spiky belt,
wasn't cool to paint your nails.

I got bashed for it,

got bullied for it.

If I could talk to
the 12-year-old Jed

that would get beat up in the van
by the footy boys,

I would say, "People do accept you
for who you are

"and there are some girls
that actually like you."

I, um...

Definitely, if I could go back and
tell my younger self that, I would.

FELIX: Basketball has given me
almost everything in my life.

You know, I got to
the professional level.

I got to represent my country

and do everything
I ever wanted to do with it,

and made the total switch
into another career.

And I'm lucky I landed on my feet.
I haven't been happier.

I've always been
incredibly goal-orientated.

And I've been lucky enough
to be able to achieve them.

In the process of
achieving those goals,

you kind of lose sight
of everything else.

And there's a few parts of my life
where I, you know...

I want to be in a relationship,
I want to be with someone,

but I've been so focused on
everything else that I'm doing

that I've sort of let that
fall to the wayside.

And for me, it's always been
a hook-up culture.

The first and foremost thing I look
for is physical attractiveness,

and that's what I've been
looking for my whole life.

You know what? I'm 27 and I've never
been in a proper relationship.

Have I been looking for
the wrong thing?

I guess I'm about to find out.

THOMAS: Health and wellness
is a big part of who I am.

Every morning, I wake up

and my priority is
to always move my body,

is to always grow my mind
and connect my spirit.

I used to live a very unhealthy life.

I used to drink every night.

I used to party like a rock star
every weekend.

But now I've transformed

and my healthy lifestyle
is who I am today.

While I have Italian heritage,
this is the place I call home

and this is the place I want to
spend the rest of my life with.

What the (BLEEP)?
"Spend the rest of my life with."

(PRODUCER LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)

Oh, my God!

I've always been very romantic.

I don't know.
I think it's in my DNA.

Whenever I'm with a girl that I love,
that I am in love with,

it just oozes out of me

and I just become
this, like, hopeless romantic.

Yeah, it's funny.

FELIX: What is love to me?
I've never felt it.

I've never felt that.

That's why I'm here.

Yeah, I want to have fun,

but with the right person
you can find the middle ground.

THOMAS: I am so ready to find that
person to just, like, do life with.

Like, I am truly here to find love.

Yeah. Get ready. (LAUGHS)

JED: I don't believe, as humans,
we're meant to be alone.

As much as someone wants to say,
"I'm fine just by myself,"

we all know we all have that desire
to be with someone.

And that's something
that I want to act on,

something that I want to find.

I'm ready for it.

I am, because I'm never gonna
stop playing drums,

but I don't want to be single.

That's why I'm on this show,

because it just fast-tracks
that confidence and that security

that I'm looking for.

We've written enough heartbreak
songs, especially about me.

It's time to write my own love song.

Hello.
OSHER: Good evening!

JED: Hello.
Evening, gentlemen. Jed.

Thomas. Felix.

Welcome to the Gold Coast.

How good is this?
It's freaking amazing.

And there's not one fake flower
or fairy light in sight.

(ALL CHUCKLE)

There's so much different
about The Bachelor this season.

Not just a very different mansion,

but, I don't know, good things
come in threes, don't they?

Apparently so.
(ALL CHUCKLE)

Before we begin,

I want to acknowledge
the Yugambeh people,

the traditional owners of the land
that we are standing on this evening.

And I want to pay my respects

to their elders,
past, present and future,

members of the longest-living culture
on Earth.

And I hope that it is
on these abundant lands

we see the thrill
of first connections

and get to watch the three of you

start your journey to finding love.

I'm not gonna lie -

getting to come to work every day
and help people fall in love,

it's a pretty wonderful thing to do.

And I like to think
I'm pretty good at it.

You know, track record
speaks for itself.

In fact, I back myself so hard,

this season on The Bachelor,
your endgame...

..looks like this.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

That's right, gentlemen.

It is what you think it is.

Gentlemen, these are
engagement rings.

(JED LAUGHS)
Wow!

I am so confident that we will repeat
our past success

that when you get to finale,
you will want to get down on one knee

and propose to
the woman of your dreams.

In fact, we've had them designed
just for you.

Ed, would you be so kind?

This is so fricking pretty.

I'm already picturing myself
on one knee right now.

(ALL CHUCKLE)

Can I wear this myself?
(OTHERS CHUCKLE)

Might ruin the surprise.
(LAUGHS)

So, this is how it's going to work.

Right now, all around the country,

there are beautiful,
intelligent women

who all want the same thing you do.

They want to find the one.

Now, each of these women
has arranged a blind date

for just one of you.

And when you go on those blind dates,
if you feel a spark,

by all means, offer that lady a rose.

If she accepts the rose,

then she'll return here
to the mansion

and the two of you can continue
to explore that initial chemistry.

There's 10 roses for each of you.

That's 10 invitations
here to the mansion.

But, gentlemen, you will be going on
way more than 10 blind dates.

So, use your roses carefully.

The road to you finding true love
starts right now.

(LAUGHS) It's gonna be pretty fun.

I'm ready.

I'm 100% ready.

Let's go.

MAN: Hi, Thomas!
Hello!

How you doing?
Good! How are you guys?

I'm very excited.
Yeah?

Nice to meet you.
And you.

Let's go.
Let's rock and roll.

FELIX: Yeah, I'm ready. I feel like
this has been coming up for so long.

And it's weird to think
that the person you meet now

could be someone that you
potentially either propose to

or, you know, you meet
the love of your life.

So, hopefully, the first one's
a yes, but we'll see how it goes.

I've never been on a blind date,
ever. This is my first one.

When I go onstage,
I know what I'm doing.

At least I would like to
think I know what I'm doing.

Um, and I know what to expect.

But this is the most blind -
no pun intended - situation

I've ever been brought into
in my life.

They don't know who I look like.
I don't know who they look like.

So, I hope the nerves are shared
so we can be nervous together,

but hopefully, we're gonna be
both anxious over nothing...

And, um, that actually just
fell down,

but that's OK.

I don't even know what it was.

Probably got pissed off
because I'm just talking so much.

(ROCK MUSIC)

Jesus Christ.

CATELYN: I guess I don't look like
your typical psychology graduate.

It's a bit of a secret talent.

Absolutely. (LAUGHS)

The past week, I have been
thinking about it constantly.

I've even been dreaming about it.

I've dreamed that I've met him
a few times.

So, yeah, let's see
if he's the man of my dreams.

Hi!
Hi!

Jed?
Yes.

Catelyn?
My name's Catelyn. Nice to meet you.

Should we, like, hug or something?
Absolutely.

You look absolutely gorgeous.
Yeah. I love your outfit. It's cool.

Really?
Yeah.

It's like you've put
a lot of effort in.

I love your dress.
Thank you!

Yeah, I picked it specially for
today. I thought it suited the vibe.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, red dress.

Catelyn's absolutely bangin'.

So, what do you do with yourself?

What do you think I do?
I don't know.

I don't want to give you a generic
answer based on your looks.

But you're very gorgeous.
Oh, thank you.

Surely your face would be
a money-maker, so...

Not exactly.
Or maybe you're...

Maybe you're a doctor.

Something to do with the mind.

Psychologist.
Yes.

Oh, wow.
I'm a psychology graduate.

You're a psychologist.
All I do is just bash things.

Yeah, I'm a drummer.
Oh, no. (LAUGHS)

My job is so mundane.

Well, I'm not very into small talk.

I'd rather, like,
ask the big questions.

Yeah?
So, how old are you?

25.

Do you think, at your age,
that you're ready to settle down?

100%.

How can you convince me of that?

I mean, she was straight into it,

but I like that,
because we just cut the bull crap.

Why did you decide
to come on The Bachelor?

'Cause I'm sick of being single.

That's the confidence I love,
and she gave it to me.

What are you grateful for,
coming into the show?

I...I'm grateful for you, number one.

(LAUGHS)

I reckon you're perfect.
Thank you.

I definitely want to
get to know you a lot more.

So, my last thing is, Catelyn,
will you accept this rose?

So, um, it has been lovely
to get to know you.

Mm-hm.

But, unfortunately,
I'm not going to accept this rose.

I feel, like, definitely
a friendship

and a huge level of comfort
between us.

But I'm not quite sure
that it's romantic.

I wish the best for you
and I hope that you meet someone.

I'd love to stay friends
and stay in contact.

Yeah. Good.

Well, it was lovely meeting you.

(CHAIR SCRAPES)

Cheers.

Please don't hate me.

What a bash to the ego.

It was brutal! Absolutely brutal.

I just thought I was the one making
those decisions, but apparently not.

On to the next one, I guess.

(BLEEP) me.

(ELEGANT CLASSICAL MUSIC)

KRYSTAL: (ENGLISH ACCENT) I'm hoping
the Bachelor looks outside the box.

We're not going for
the typical blonde.

We're not doing it anymore.
We're bored.

So, we're gonna spice things up.

We're doing a bit of Krystal now.

She's gonna be energetic. She's
gonna make your life a good time.

So, that's what we're switching to.

We're just doing it different.
Why not?

Yeah.

And be funny.

And have a big dick. (LAUGHS)

Hello.
Hello!

Krystal. I'm intrigued.

Nice to meet you.
Felix. Nice to meet you.

I actually like to hug people
over handshakes.

Well, there we go. Let's jump in.
Oh, super.

How are you feeling? Oh.
Good.

Oh, there we go. Bit early.
Bit early.

Bit early.
I love your accent.

Thank you.
Where's it from?

Essex.
Essex. Nice.

So, I'm from the UK.
Love it.

So, we're gonna do
some body painting.

There's only... There's one rule.

What is it?
You're like, "What is it?"

So, we can't use our hands and feet.

OK.
So, we have to use other body parts.

To paint?
Yeah.

So, get your kit off.
Perfect. Let's do it.

Yeah? Shall we do it?
Let's do it.

Well, we're here now.
We might as well. OK, right.

(INSTRUMENTAL OF 'HABANERA'
FROM BIZET'S 'CARMEN' PLAYS)

Am I just waiting?

I'm so nervous.

I'm, like, really sweating.

I'm so impatient,
so they probably read that

and they're making me wait.

(APPLE CRUNCHES CRISPLY)

PRODUCER: Good apple.
Very good apple.

Yeah.
Nice and crunchy.

Mm.
Good taste.

I'm gonna need some more water.

This is the worst.

What happens if I smell?

(SNIFFS)

An apple a day
keeps the bad dates away.

(CHUCKLES)

(BLEEP)

This is ridiculous.

I love this new process,

going all around the country
on blind dates,

'cause it really gives me a chance
to have my own say

and to really go
and pick and select,

like, my ultimate favourite one,

so, all that goes in my head
is, like,

"Holy sugar, like,
this is really going to happen.

"Like, I'm really gonna find,
potentially, like,

"a woman that I fall, you know,
madly, deeply in love with,"

and I'm...I'm so ready for it.

Hello. How are you?
Hi. How are you?

Good! Nice to meet you.
I'm Anna.

Mwah! Thomas.
Very nice to meet you.

Lovely to meet you.
Likewise.

Loving the dress.
Thank you.

How are you feeling?

Oh, my God, this is so weird.

Is it?
It feels really formal.

Oh.

Ah!

Um...Thomas who?

Thomas Malucelli.

Do you have any siblings
or anything?

No. Only child.
You're an only ch...

That's it.
How depressing.

I... Not my choice. (CHUCKLES)

Are you spoilt and entitled?
No.

Have you been married before?
No...

Any children?
No.

Yeah, my girlfriends,
who are all married with children,

are like, "You should really apply
for The Bachelor,"

and I was like, "Oh, my God,
that'd be so awkward."

Oh, my God.

I felt really awkward.

I feel so sorry,

because I didn't want to
give her a rose.

I could just tell right away
that she wasn't gonna be the one.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Awesome. Well, it was
really, really nice to meet you.

OK.
Um...

Not feeling the connection, but
it was so, so good to chat to you

and meet you.

Totally broke my heart.

I was, like, thinking to myself,
like, "Who...who even am I?"

I just felt like...like a douchebag.

KRYSTAL: Alright,
let's just get this on you.

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)
(BOTH LAUGH)

Alright. Careful,
my boob might fall out.

(BOTH LAUGH)

The sex appeal on Krystal

is...next level.

You're hot.
Am I?

Yeah!
So are you!

Stop.

Some girls just have it
and some don't.

And she's got it in absolute spades.

Oh, that's hot. (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)
I can't see them.

(SHRIEKS) Are you serious?!

Felix!
(LAUGHS)

(GASPS)

I feel a bit naughty, though, Felix.

(BOTH LAUGH)

FELIX: There was a lot of
sexual tension in that room,

so much so, the paintbrush had
conveniently increased in size.

What's happening here, mister?
What is this?!

What's that down there? You got...

Not gonna deny it was a little bit
there, but no, I think she's...

I think we're both feeling
on the same level.

Krystal, will you take
this paint-covered rose?

I absolutely will.
Beautiful.

I'll take it because it's from you.

Feels. Got the feels.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think it's
the body paint between my thighs,

but we've got something there.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Let's save some for the house.

That was a bit naughty.
Was it?

Can you give me one more?

If the cameras had have left
that building,

it would have been more than paint
flying around.

Oh! Felix!
Oh!

(BOTH LAUGH)

We're in trouble.

Oh, my God.

(EXHALES SOFTLY)

(BIRDSONG)

OK, so, surprise -
I'm your date today.

Really?
Yep.

Do you drink coffee?
Yeah.

Another coffee date.

Like, couldn't think of
anything worse,

because I feel like
my heart's slightly bruised

after getting rejected
on the first one.

Been up all night.

Really?
Yeah.

Thinking, like, "Gotta get your
coffee order right," you know?

And, yeah, I can't wait
to just get outta there.

Well, it was lovely meeting you,
Emma.

Unfortunately I cannot
offer you a rose today.

Thank you so much for the coffee.

It was lovely meeting you.

And I might see you around.

No, yeah.
Cheers.

Bye.

Unfortunately she did not get a rose
'cause I was just...

..I wasn't feeling it.

I wasn't feeling it, to be honest.

Do you come to this park often?
Yeah. It's a rose garden.

Oh, very fitting. Lovely.

Yeah. I mean, I was hoping,
you know, it would be a good omen.

Yeah, and roses are
my favourite flower.

Fair enough.
Yeah.

Anyway, I had a lovely time.
Thank you so much for this.

Thank you. You too.
Good luck with everything.

Very beautiful eyes, by the way.

No rose. (CHUCKLES)

I love blonde hair, blue eyes,

but I'm still scarred after...
after one of the other dates.

Hi!
Hello!

(LAUGHS) How you doing?
I'm good. How are you?

Love throwing a man in the deep end.

Let's see...
let's see you swim, baby.

(LAUGHS)

So, one of the things I love to do
is life drawing.

OK.

(LAUGHS)

So, I don't know
how keen Bach is gonna be

to get his full kit off today.

I think we might
just save that for...

I'm not even gonna say when.
(LAUGHS)

Tell me what to do and I'll do it.

OK. You probably shouldn't
say that to me.

(LAUGHS)
I've said it, so, yeah.

It was definitely
love at first sight.

(BOTH LAUGH)

OK.

Yeah, OK.

What do you start off with?
Like, the face?

Oh, just anything.

You can just pick a line on my body
that speaks to you.

Kristen has this aura
that just radiates love.

And I just felt
so pulled towards her

in a sexual way, in a spiritual way,

in so many...
in all the ways possible.

(LAUGHS)

Would you like to accept this rose?

I would love to!

It's all yours.
Thank you.

I can't wait
to get to know you better.

Wow. She was amazing!

(LAUGHS)

So, he literally drew a line.

THOMAS: Nice!
WOMAN: Hey!

I've been axe-throwing
and now I'm gonna rose-throw.

You ready to catch?
Oh, stop! Ready to catch.

Oh, my goodness!
Will you accept this rose?

I will, of course.
Awesome.

He's handsome and he's got
silver hair, so I'm happy.

Would you like to accept this rose?
Yeah, I would love to.

First impressions -
I know he's really smiley,

and, yeah, I feel like
he's just got a really good soul.

Would you accept this rose?
Yes, I will.

Yeah? There you go.
Thank you.

It was lovely to meet you.
Likewise.

I actually really, really like him.

Yeah, I think he's really sweet.

WOMAN: There you are.
(LAUGHS)

Ooh-hoo! You're so good!

I had a heap of fun today.

Would you accept this rose?
(BLEEP), yeah! I'd love to.

(BLEEP), yeah.

Very happy. (LAUGHS)

This is just like...heaven.

Good. Get me in there. (BLEEP)

(ITALIAN-STYLE MUSIC)

It's good.

Mm!
Well, thank you so much for this.

I appreciate it. Have a good one.

And you can eat mine if you like.
(CHUCKLES) Thank you.

Bye.

I thought he had a good time,

but maybe he didn't.

He took the rose and ran.

He's like, "See ya later, girl."

I feel, like, really picky.

But I...this is gonna be my wife,

so I think I have
a slight right to be, maybe.

Is this your favourite drink?

It is. Are you liking it?
Mm-hm.

(LAUGHS)

Wow.

Um, I'm gonna head off,
but thank you very much for this.

Have a lovely day.

(SLURPS)

Snubbed. (LAUGHS)

This sucks, saying no,

especially because
they organise the date,

they put their effort into it,

but the rose is the key to the ring

and I wanna be sure
that I'm doing the right thing.

I am a poet. I actually write songs.

I might write a love song
for someone.

FELIX: Oh!
I'm gonna win this.

You picked something that you knew
that I'd be terrible at.

Can't be good at everything.
(CHUCKLES)

I'm very pleased. He's gorgeous.

Will you take this rose?

I will. Thank you.
Nice.

Hopefully his basketball skills
are a little bit better

than his putting skills.

Well, I tell you what,
if I make this shot,

you have to accept a rose.

Let's do it.

(LAUGHS)

Nailed it.

Eboni, will you accept this rose?

(LAUGHS) I will.
(LAUGHS)

I can't even reach mine!
(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Oh, my God.

I love that you're so fun.
Love your smile as well.

Will you accept this rose?
I will.

I am flingin' roses
left, right and centre.

WOMAN: Oh, my God.

Yuri, will you accept this rose?

Absolutely. Thank you so much.

OK, wow.
I'm not a total train wreck.

(SOFTLY) Yes.

I'm feeling like Oprah Winfrey
out here.

"You get a rose! You get a rose!
You get a rose!"

Will you accept this rose?
I will.

Producer gets a rose,
cameraman gets a rose,

driver gets a rose.

(UPBEAT MUSIC DISTORTS AND STOPS)

PRODUCER: How do you reckon
the other boys are getting on?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know,
can't be any worse than me.

Thank you for the wine.

Have a lovely day.

Have a lovely day.

I had a great time.

Have a good one.

I still haven't hit that...point

where I'm like, "I really want this.

"I'm 100% wanting to pursue this."

JASMINE: Hi!
Wow. Hello.

How are you?
I'm good.

How are you? I'm Jed.
Really good. Nice to meet you.

Jasmine.
Oh, you smell really good.

Jasmine?
Yes, Jasmine.

Do I smell good, do I?
You smell really good.

Wow, this is really interesting.

I do a bit of yoga.

And we are gonna be doing
Tantric yoga.

Right. OK.

Now, I'm not the most physical guy,
to be honest,

but if someone as gorgeous as Jasmine

wants to throw me
into some positions,

then I'll take it any day.

Ooh, wow.
(LAUGHS)

OK. Oh, Jesus.

Like that.
Like this?!

Am I putting them on your legs?
Yeah.

Wow! Create, like, a human bridge.

Oh, my gosh, this hurts.

Oh! I'm gonna pass out.

Like this. Oh, my God!

Just give me a couple of seconds.
(LAUGHS)

Oh, man.
So, you've never done yoga before?

Uh-uh.

Far out.

I feel like I'm gonna
sweat all over you now.

This is the most physical exercise
I've had in ages.

We're already sweating,
staring into each other's eyes.

That's meant to be, like,
the second date.

Really? Well, we've done it
on the first one.

Jed looks like good sex.

Everything about him screams,
"I'm good in bed."

(LAUGHS) Every little thing
about him.

Oh, well, jump up.
OK.

It was lovely to meet you.
I had the funnest time.

I think my limbs are gonna hurt
and fall off and stretch after that.

Well, that's kind of what we want.
Thank you for stretching me.

OK.
Have a great day.

Whew.

Oh, God, she was so lovely.

I thought we had a really good time.

I didn't expect him to walk away,
at all.

Mm-hm.

I need to give this back.

(GASPS)
I forgot to give you this.

Ah!
Will you accept this rose?

Yeah. (LAUGHS)
I was going, "Oh, no!"

I love the way you made me stretch.

We should stretch each other
some more.

We should stretch each other.
Emotionally and any other way.

If you're happy to.
I'm so happy.

Thank you so much.

Thanks for stretching me again.
Thank you. Bye.

Have a lovely day.

(LAUGHS)

So... (LAUGHS)

OSHER: Coming up...

We could get a tattoo.
Oh, let's do it.

..things get wilder...

I feel like I'm gonna cry. (BLEEP)

..weirder...

There's no way he's gonna forget
my rubber vagina.

This is Sophie.

Oh, my God.

..and more wonderful.

I can't believe I'm crying.

What the (BLEEP)!

That was so beautiful!

There we go.

Then, later...

WOMAN: This is insane!

..the ladies...
Oh, my gosh, there's more people.

..come face to face...

This is (BLEEP) wild.

..at the first cocktail party.

Who's your Bachie?
His name's Felix.

Oh, OK. There's...there's two.

There's three of them.
There's three?

Breathe in.

Breathe in love.

Know that you're loved,
you're worthy of love.

As you breathe out,
breathe out any fear,

any self-doubt, any negative energy.

This journey is gonna be
maybe challenging at times,

as long as you just trust
the universe,

and everything will happen
exactly the way it's meant to.

So beautiful.

Yeah. Don't you feel so Zen?

So Zen.
I feel so great.

And you're beautiful. You really are.

But...I didn't feel, like,
the romantic connection between us.

Couldn't really feel the spark.

I'll give you a nice big, warm hug.
Cool! Thanks.

Thank you, Britt.

Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye.
Bye.

That was weird. (LAUGHS)

What? What?

I'm shook. OK.

Shook. Are we done?

Ah, it broke my heart.
She's so sweet.

(LAUGHS) I'm so confused!

Are you guys? That was so beautiful!

Um, OK.

JED: Now I've experienced
actually giving away my first rose,

I'm experiencing
this, like, new emotion.

Feels great, honestly.

Like, once you give out a rose
and you meet a beautiful woman,

I mean, who wouldn't be happy?

Think I had a bit of a bruised ego,

but I just had to dust myself off
and pick myself up.

Hello.

(WOMAN LAUGHS)
How are you?

I'm Bella.
I'm Jed.

Nice to meet you.
Lovely to meet you.

Um, hey, so...
I'm in love with this, by the way.

How cool is the place?
Like, this is just perfect.

OK, 'cause I was thinking
we could get a tattoo.

Oh, let's do it.
Oh, my God, OK.

(TATTOO GUN BUZZES)

I had two ideas.
One was, like...

I don't know if you're into it.

One was, like, a little frog.
Cool.

'Cause, like, you gotta kiss
a lot of frogs.

Beautiful. I love it.

And the other one's a spatula.

OK.
'Cause it rhymes with 'bachelor'.

(LAUGHS)

Definitely the first time
I've got a tattoo on a blind date.

Anyone asks me, "Why have you got
a spatula tattooed on your arm?"

(LAUGHS)
It's so funny.

Pretty good date idea,
if you ask me.

Far out.

Bella, she's an absolute laugh.

It's the exact excitement I want
with a woman.

Bella, would you like
to accept this rose?

Ooh, yeah, I would.
There you go.

I just can't get over my lovely
spatula/bachelor tattoo.

Maybe I'll be called the Spatula
from now on instead of the Bachelor.

I will see you at the Bachelor Pad.

I will see you soon.
See you, darling.

Yeah.

TATTOOIST: Well done.

You made it.
Thanks, Rhys.

You're welcome.
I love my little spatchie.

Sign.
Yeah, I don't know what to do now.

I just...
Well, bask in the glory.

So, ten minus two is eight, so...
so I've got eight roses left.

Quite a few more to give out.

So, yeah, let's give some out.

So, you're a drummer?
Yeah.

Ah! Dad used to be in a band.

He was a bass guitarist.

My dad was a bass guitarist, too.
Oh, no shit.

Well, I think you're amazing

and I would love to bring you
to the Bachelor Pad.

But...

Arsehole!

(LAUGHS)
Tell me one more time.

Courtney.
Courtney. I knew I got it.

Will you accept this rose?
Oh, absolutely. Hell, yeah.

He made me laugh

and also, yeah,
I'm digging the tatts too.

Yeah, yeah. I'm all in.

These roses represent
essentially the golden ticket

to come back to the Gold Coast.

It's not just a ticket
to come and hang out.

It's a...it's a ticket to something
potentially a lot more serious,

to make a lifelong decision.

They actually mean a lot to me.

But, you know, they don't come cheap.

But I would love to offer you a rose,
if you would accept this.

Yes, I would love to.
Beautiful.

Jessica, will you accept this rose?
Yes, I will.

Caitlin, will you accept this rose?
Yes! I...

Beautiful.
Do you have the rose?

Don't know where you are.
Hang on. There you are.

A blind blind date.

I've never had a date that blind
in my life.

There you are.

Alright, see you, darling.
I'll see you at the mansion.

All in all, I'm a happy man.

WOMAN: Where's your accent from?
It's beautiful.

Italy.
Italy?

Yeah, yeah.
I really love culture.

One of my best friends is Serbian,

and she...in their, like, culture,

I think when a wedding is coming up
or something,

like, the dad trades their daughter
for a goat.

I wish someone loved me enough
to trade me for a goat, honestly.

(LAUGHS)

I would be so lucky. (LAUGHS)

I don't believe that I'm the guy
that will give her the goat for love.

So...yeah.

Another one bites the dust.

I'm here to find real love,

which is something
that's really important to me.

And I've only got four roses left,

so I'm feeling like, ooh,
there's not that many to give out,

so I'm making sure I give out
the roses to the right people.

Awesome to meet you. Come on.
Yeah, you too.

But the rejection part...

See you.
Bye.

..I find it really hard.

Like, it's a really big struggle
for me.

He left.

The end.

I'll just finish making this clean
on my own, I guess.

I'm trying to be my most kindest
version towards these girls.

Really nice to meet you.
It was lovely to meet you too.

Not really vibing.

PRODUCER: Oh, Thomas,
that one ended a little bit early.

Awkward.

Yes.

TILLY: I'm not a girl that settles
for anything that I don't deserve.

I'm coming into this experience
knowing exactly who I am.

I know I've got the brains,
I've got the looks.

I'm a catch.
I'm 1,000% a catch, yeah.

ANGELA: On a scale of 1 to 10
on how important finding love,

it's, like, it's an 11.

I mean, that's all I've known
for certain that I want in life.

And I wouldn't say that I have
a stock-standard type

that I always gravitate towards.

But guys who don't give a shit about
what other people think about them,

that's sexy, for sure.

(LAUGHS)

Hello.
Hello!

So nice to finally meet you.

Hi!
JED: How are you?

I'm Angela.
Lovely to meet you.

I'm Tilly.
Felix.

Nice to meet you.
You too.

I'm Jed.

It's lovely to meet you, Jed.
I'm the man with the rose.

You are the man with the rose.
I am.

She's got beautiful eyes.
She's just gorgeous.

I was just like, "Hi, I'm Jed."

She was like, "Hi, I'm Angela."

I was like, "Oh, let's get married."

She was hot.
She was really, really hot.

Do you play sport at all?
Oh, yeah, I used to play basketball.

In the States, for five years.
Oh, awesome!

Sort of said to myself,
"I want to come back

"and find a girl who loves cricket."

Can we play some tennis?
Let's do it.

Let's go.

It's fine. You don't have to hit me.

I'll take it easy.
I will try.

Bring the heat.

Oh, you want a...you want
a bit of spice. Alright.

Jesus!

Ooh.

Far out.

(GROANS)
What do you mean you don't serve?

That was lucky.

(LAUGHS) Little bit of heat
on that one.

That was a bit... (LAUGHS)

Can't hear you, babe,
'cause you're too far away.

What?
Hey?

(YELLS) So what do you do
with yourself?

Uh!
(LAUGHS)

There we go.
(SHRIEKS PLAYFULLY)

(LAUGHS)
Oh, my God, you're so strong.

Do you play this often?
Every couple of weeks, I do.

So, my grandparents,
they taught me how to play.

I was coached by my grandpa...
Yeah.

..every Sunday morning.
That's so cute.

And they actually met on
a tennis court, my grandparents.

Really? Lovely emotional story
behind it.

So, kind of this...
That's really nice!

Might be some mirroring with it.
This is cool!

As you can see,
I'm not the greatest.

I think you're pretty good.
I think it's more the fun behind it.

It is fun!

Honestly, this is probably one of
my funnest dates I've been on.

I honestly feel quite honoured
that you're here, doing this.

Would you like to come and play
tennis with me on the Gold Coast?

I would love to play tennis
with you.

I'm just gonna go
grab my rose for you.

Do you want to hold my hand?

Yeah, of course!
Are you OK? Are you nervous?

Oh, my God. (LAUGHS)

Perfect.

Will you accept this rose?

I would happily accept this rose.
Beautiful.

Will you accept this rose?
I sure will.

Thank you!

If I had a whole bunch of roses,
I would give it to her.

Angela is just... She's...

It's too early to say the one,
I guess, but, man, I want to say it.

She's absolutely amazing.

It was so lovely to meet you.

Lovely to meet you.
Can I kiss you a bit?

Course you can.

(LAUGHS) Well, that was unexpected.

(LAUGHS)
You are absolutely amazing.

Thank you very much.
You're amazing.

Thank you so much for the date.
Have a lovely day.

(LAUGHS) Oh, my God,
that was so crazy.

Phew. Whoa.

(LAUGHS)

I'm so pumped. Angela absolutely
hit it out of the park.

Let's go. On to the next one.

I don't know how
they're gonna beat it, but.

TASH: I am a girly girl, yeah.

And I don't think
there's anything wrong with that.

And I know that a lot of men
are intimidated by my looks.

But I think, once they have
a conversation with me,

then they're like, "There is a brain

"underneath all these...this hair."
(LAUGHS)

But, I mean, my standards are like
my high heels - they're high.

So hard pushing this pram in heels,
you guys.

Mummy's gonna have to do
a whole gym session.

I do not know what to expect.

Um, I...
Well, actually, that's a lie.

I think I know who to expect.

I did see a, um...'Daily Mail'
article with, I think, Felix.

This one. Yeah.

He's a basketball player
and he's 6'5" and he's very sporty.

I love my sports as well and I used
to play basketball back in the day.

So, uh, match made in heaven.

Um...

Who is this guy?

Hello.

Hi!

Look at these babies!
(LAUGHS)

How are you? Is it Tash?
Tash.

Lovely to meet you.
Mwah!

How you going?
(DOG GROWLS)

Oh, no, he doesn't like me already.
(DOG GROWLS)

Hello!
He gets very aggressive with men.

Have you had past partners
that he hasn't liked?

Yeah.
Really?

All of them.

Has he ever grown to like them?
No.

I think my dogs could have
eaten hers alive, to be honest.

Um, so, for today,
I thought we'd do a photo shoot.

A little family portrait.
OK. I love it.

So, yeah. So, with Noah and Sophia.

Sophia? Hello!
Yeah, with a P-H.

Are you gonna bite my little hand?

But I do need their approval

because Tash is a smoke show.

Phwoar! Jeez.

If I was a woman, that's what
she would look like. (LAUGHS)

Jokes!

I was joking. I was stirring.

Nah, that's a bit weird. Oh...

Anyway...
Yeah, she's hot. I like her.

Always a nice surprise
banging on a roller door.

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CUTS OUT)

Think I've got the wrong door.

(CHUCKLES)

(GRUNTS) I've gotta use
my muscles here.

Oh, there we go. You've got 'em.
Oh!

Hello.
Hello!

BOTH: How are you?
Lovely to meet you.

Felix. You too.

Maybe come this way a bit.
Oh, there we go.

I don't know... Like, is there
a lock or something on here?

(LAUGHS) Just roll with it.
Yes.

Lovely to meet you.
You too.

This was the first date that I'd
actually felt a little bit nervous.

I could feel the mouth twitching
a bit.

You're beautiful.
Aw, thank you.

Like, oh, you get
a little bit of goose bumps

and it was a really good feeling.

Now, have you ever danced before?

I have at 3am at a nightclub.
Right.

I don't think at the level
that you have.

Yes, yes.

Look, girls love a guy that can,
um...move their hips

because it's a good indication.

Switch and switch.

(BRASSY SALSA MUSIC)
And switch and switch.

Oh, I like this.

Left, together, left, tap.

Right, together, right, tap.

Right hip is gonna go up.

(LAUGHS)

I love your hand action there
as well.

It's like training a really dumb dog.
(LAUGHS)

(BIRDS TWEET)

Look at you.
Don't bite my face, you.

Aw! See? He loves you.

TASH: I was expecting someone else,

but I think Jed and I
would make a pretty hot match.

And...and, um, yeah.

I'll just make it work.

You know what,
if you want something to work,

you just gotta not over-analyse it.

Just make it work.

I need to go find a rose.

Oh, really?
Mm-hm.

Oh, my goodness, Sophia!

Tash, I would love it
if you would accept this rose.

Oh, my God, absolutely.
You do?

Yes!
Can I have a little kiss from you?

(LAUGHS)
You're so hot.

I cannot wait to see Tash again

and, phwoar,
I need a cold shower now.

Can we get married now or what?

Hi. (LAUGHS)
Yay!

Noah, keep the photo shoot going.

Husband and wife. Here we are.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

There we go.

That is absolutely, to a tee, the
type of girl that I'm looking for.

Absolutely.

(LAUGHS)

Everything I had envisioned
coming onto this in a girl

was that.

Just perfect. Perfect.

(MOUTHS WORDS)

The stakes are high at the moment

because I've burned through
my rose collection.

I'll be a little bit stingier,
I feel, with them now.

So, there's gonna be
some unlucky girls that miss out.

How do you think we've gone today?

Well, I don't know. What did
you reckon? Do I impress...

I don't think we've got that
chemistry that I was hoping for.

No, no, no.

Um...

You have impressive fitness, though.
Thank you.

Back to apps.
Oh, I don't wanna do that anymore.

I'm sorry, but if he doesn't like me
in this,

then, you know,
what will he like me in?

So, the whole thing with this

is that I can only give out
a certain amount of roses.

But unfortunately...
OK. Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll catch you around.
Yeah. No. Thank you.

Can I take this off now? (LAUGHS)

Good, 'cause I'm hot.

You know, at the end of the day,
I've got the Bachelor tag

and some girls are attracted to that

more than they're actually gonna be
attracted to me.

He seemed like a bit of a dick
anyway, to be honest.

I am a midwife,

and today, I'm going to traumatise
the poor man

by making him deliver
his first baby.

There's no way he's gonna forget
my rubber vagina.

This is Sophie.

Oh, my God.

I was a little weirded out by it.
Not that I haven't seen it before.

I... Surpris... I am actually
familiar in this situation.

OK.

Not with a baby, though.
That's gonna be the outlier.

Well...

LEAH: Finding love
is the missing piece to my puzzle.

But I'm pretty much a...
old-school romantic

in a hook-up culture

and it's not working.

So, I'm hoping it's my time.

(THOMAS LAUGHS)

Wow.

Hello. (LAUGHS)
Hello!

You look absolutely amazing.
So do you.

Wow.
Hello. I'm Leah.

My hands are freezing.
Nice to meet you.

I'm Thomas.
Come with me.

How you doing?
I'm very well. How are you?

Very well.

The first thing I thought was like,

"Oh, my God,
that's a wedding dress."

And my heart just melted in, like,

I don't know how many
freakin' pieces.

Have you been on a punt before?

I haven't.
Oh!

So, um, I have made this for you.
Oh, wow.

If you wanna slide it open...
Yeah.

So this... Yep.

And if you don't mind,
I'd like to read it to you.

Yeah. Thank you.
OK.

"I have written you
a little something

"to give you a bit of an insight
into my life.

"I come from a beautiful family

"with parents who've been married
for 36 years.

"The loyalty and respect
they have for each other

"is like water in the ocean -

"it's always there.

"Truth is, love is kind of cool.

"It's cool how someone
can just pop into your life

"and all of a sudden,
you're both falling.

"You're each other's
favourite feeling

"and together, you'll be each other's
favourite place to be.

"When I was little,
I dreamt of that fairytale ending.

"I'm ready to start that story,
but without the ending,

"and hoping it could be with you."

Oh, my gosh, that is so beautiful.
(CHUCKLES)

Can I give you a massive hug?
Yes, of course.

You are the absolute best. (LAUGHS)

THOMAS: That just shows me that
she's someone who's looking for

something deep,
profound and special.

And at that point,
I melted even more. (LAUGHS)

I'm not here to muck around.
I can see.

Yeah.
The dress gave it away.

(LAUGHS) Oh, my God!
No, it's not a wedding dress.

(BOTH LAUGH)

It's coming out. I can see
a little bit of a head.

It's gonna be alright, darling.
It's gonna be alright.

This is my first time.

How are we looking down there?

Um... Oh, jeez, it's loose.

You might need some more lubricant.

(LAUGHS)

So, you've gotta tell her
to start pushing.

Push! Push.

Push!

Push.

Sophie, it's coming out.

Great job, Sophie.

Oh! That's...

Congratulations!
Congrats, Sophie.

Oh, my God, so rubbery.

I do appreciate it's such
an important part of her work

and a very serious thing
that she does.

One for the road. Oh!
Why not?

But Osher's really ramped up
the pressure with the blind dates

and I'm all about that.

I'm not here to waste anyone's time.
I don't want anyone to waste my time.

So, if I walk in there
and it's not working,

I'm just gonna head off
in the other direction.

I'll find you a new daddy,
don't worry.

THOMAS: Thank you.
This has been very, very special.

Like, my biggest motto is, like,

"Get out of your head
and get into your heart."

And this has just been, like,
all heart since I met you,

the whole conversation,
so, thank you.

Oh, you're giving me butterflies.
Yeah.

So, um, would you like to
accept this rose?

Oh, I would love to.

Perfect. It's all yours.
Thank you.

I literally cannot wait
to get to know you better.

You're amazing.
Yeah.

This is incredible. I'm so excited.
Me too.

Want a hand?
That would be nice.

THOMAS: I experienced something
on that boat

that I have never experienced before
in my life.

I don't know, like,
it was such a short interaction

but it was so...so deep.

Like, I could literally see,
from her eyes, her soul.

And she was just the sweetest girl,
like, I've ever met.

I...I literally... I literally...
I'm tearing up right now.

Like, it's...it's... Yeah.

That was the best date I've ever had.

That was so romantic, so nice.
Such a nice row.

(CHUCKLES)

Can't believe I'm crying.

What the (BLEEP)?

Oh, gosh! (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)
(BLEEP)

I know.

Let it out.

Let it out.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

PRODUCER: OK.

She's lovely. So nice.
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Right.

MAN: Pretty wild ride so far?
It's a wild ride.

I wonder how
the other boys are going.

(COMICAL MUSIC)

Oh!
(LAUGHS)

I can feel my spine in my mouth.

WOMAN: Bring your hands in.
Trace them up your body.

Pretend you've got your hair there.

Bring your hands out.

JED: I think we're all very different
individual characters.

MAN: Tell me about
those individual characteristics.

Well, look, Felix is your classic...
perfect-looking hunk of spunk.

(SEXY MUSIC)

No-one should be that good-looking.

I can tell
you're a competitive type.

Yes.
Which I like.

Will you accept this rose?
I will accept the rose.

Thank you.
Love it. Beautiful.

You could literally grate cheese
on his sixpack.

In fact, I might do that
when we have dinner later.

Not that I'm gonna be cooking.

Well, I brought dessert.
Did you really?

I did. Emma, will you accept
this rose?

I would love to.

I do have one confession.
Yeah, I-I didn't cook.

Once he opens his mouth, though,
he becomes a bit of a dumb-arse.

It's alright. I love to eat out.
OK. (CHUCKLES)

(ITALIAN-STYLE MUSIC)

Thomas is your Italian stallion.

He's a sensitive guy, you know,
he does meditation,

he does breath work.

Have you tried hot yoga?
I have.

How good is that? Yeah.
So good.

It's just, like, he's so polite.

Just the way he communicates
his emotions,

he's such a kind, kind man.

Would you accept this rose?
Oh, thank you!

The massage made it.
Oh, my gosh!

Like, you were absolutely awesome.

Give me a second hug, please.
That was so good.

Just hope Thomas
has the best time ever,

meets a lovely peaceful woman.

I'm guessing you're truly ready
to find love now.

I feel like I have been for a while.
Yeah.

Maybe it's on The Bachelor,
who knows?

Yeah. Well, that's it, right?

And I hope I, you know,
just keep doing what I'm doing,

finding the love of my life.

ALESIA: Oh, God.

Out of all three of us,
my biggest worry here is Jed.

I reckon Jed's a little bit of
a danger with our girls

because he's one of those guys
where, face value, and you walk up,

there's a lot of girls
that would say, "I'm not into that.

"He's a drummer, he's wild."
That sort of stuff.

But once you actually
get to know him, he's quite soft,

and I think that a few girls
are gonna gravitate to that,

so I might be just...
(MAKES SQUELCHING SOUND)

..pulling him away a little bit

once he starts
to get into that soft mode.

My goodness. Hello!
Hi.

No, I think I've got to keep
my girls away from Jed

once he shows that side.

Can you ice-skate?

I (BLEEP) hate ice-skating.
I... It's...

I hate it so much
because I suck at it.

OK.

I don't know... Ooh.
(ALESIA LAUGHS)

Hold my hand.

How do I do this?
How do I do this?

Stop laughing at me.

How do I do this?
Am I doing it OK?

Are you serious?
I don't know...

I've never ice-skated in my life.

OK.

Hey, can... Just let me go.

Oh, no.

Hang on.

I suck shit.

It's the worst possible thing
I could ever think of me doing,

just because there's no way
I can impress a woman on the ice.

Like 'Swan Lake'. Is this working?

Like this?

Oh, my goodness, he was so bad.

Can you hold my hand again?

I like it.
Do you want to keep going?

Just let's do one more round
and then we'll come off.

OK.
OK, ready?

Alright.

We'll do a whole round.
I trust you.

But he's very, very sweet.

(SUCKS AIR)
(LAUGHS) What?

I'm gonna die.
I feel like I'm gonna die.

Don't leave.

Even though he looks...
not as sweet as he is. (LAUGHS)

Do you feel comfortable with me?

Yeah, I do.
Good.

Yeah.
I feel very comfortable with you.

I'm, like, nervous, but it feels...
Are you nervous?

Yeah.
Don't be nervous.

Are you not nervous?
No.

Are you not?

You have made me feel
the most comfortable.

Really?
Yeah. 100%, yeah.

My mic? Oh.

Can I...

Sorry, darling, give me a sec...
Oh, Jesus! Hang on!

(ALESIA LAUGHS)

That's actually so gold.

Who's gold?
He's gold.

He's gold?
He's cute.

I feel like, there's, like,
a lot to him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't believe how shit he is.
(PRODUCER LAUGHS)

JED: (WHISPERS)
I suck at ice skating.

I like... I'm in love with her.

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

PRODUCER: Sorry.
(ALESIA LAUGHS)

They don't know
how to do their job properly, sorry.

Um, sorry about that.

I'm just like,
"When am I seeing you again?"

I think very soon.
Do you think?

Mm-hm.

I hope, like, very soon.

I am going to clobber...
(ALESIA LAUGHS)

I'm going to clobber over there.

Maybe I should just, like,
get on my knee and do it this way.

Will you please, for goodness' sake,
accept this rose?

I will.
OK. I now don't know what to...

Come here.

(LAUGHS)
(JED SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

Little kiss?

That was nice. I really like you.

I like you too.

Right. I have to go now.

I'm swept off my feet.

Whew. (BLEEP)!

JED:

I would rather be
on thin ice with her

than solid ground with anyone else.

Wow.

I feel like I'm gonna cry.

(BLEEP)!

I'm turning into Tommy. (LAUGHS)

I'm so sensitive now.

(LAUGHS)

OSHER: Coming up...

Who's your Bachie?
Oh, Jed.

His name's Felix.
WOMAN: Felix.

Oh, OK, there's...there's two.

There's three of 'em.
There's three?

There's three?
Stop! (ECHOES)

Jaws. Will. Drop.

My, like, stomach
fell out of my butt.

No way!

Three, four, five, six, seven,
maybe eight Bachelors.

(LAUGHS) Is that bad?
Is that bad?

So, I am a self-proclaimed cat lady.

Mini and I do everything together.

She comes for happy hour.

She loves a negroni.

She also loves coming to the cafe.
Loves a brunch.

She's just falling asleep on me,

which is so cute!

(MINI MEOWS)

Oh, no, she's awake. (LAUGHS)

So, I've been single for about a year

but I think it's now time to sort of
share Mini with someone else

and maybe get away from
that crazy cat lady stereotype.

(LAUGHS)

I'm really anxious
heading into this last date

because I know that I've got
no roses left,

and the hardest part of this
entire process for me so far

has been the rejection.

I'm just gonna go through it.
Is what it is.

I'm already thinking
how I'm gonna let her down

and I haven't even met the girl yet.

And it sucks.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(LAUGHS) Hello!
Hi!

I was wondering
what that little thing was.

(LAUGHS) How are you?
How are you?

Good. I'm Felix.
I'm Abigail. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.
This is Mini.

Hello, Mini!
Say hello.

Do you like cats?

I love cats
because I'm named after one.

Well, Felix the Cat, of course.
Yeah.

Of course.

Do you want to say hello?

Oh, she's actually being
very cute with you.

Normally she's, like, running away.
Mini.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Oh, the tough facade that I've
built up over so many years

is just crumbling before my eyes.

Can I hold her or is she...?
Yeah, of course.

Are you gonna go there?
There you go, little one.

Oh, little princess. Look at that.

Oh.
(MINI MEOWS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

She seems pretty chilled.
Yeah.

You're a little bit cold.
There you go. Nestle in.

Nestle in. (LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS) That's so cute!

It's all crumbling. (LAUGHS)

JED: So I've got one rose left.

This is it. This is the one rose.

My goodness.

We're at the tail end
of the blind dates, aren't we?

Far out.

But I'm quite excited too.

I'm excited to give out my last one.

So, do you have a cat, or...?
No, I don't. I wish I did.

I don't want to be
that weird single cat guy.

Like I'm the weird single cat lady?

Is that where you were going
with that?

It's more acceptable
as the weird single cat lady.

Do you think?
Yeah. Marginally.

You just reinforced that I was
the weird single cat lady.

Thank you for that. (LAUGHS)

Mmm! That's good!

Crazy cat lady can cook.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) You know what?
Yeah, tell me.

I'm in a very, very tough
situation here.

This is my last date.
Mm-hm.

And I only have a certain amount

of roses to give out.

So, Mini can't come?

Well, I have none left.

(LAUGHS) Oh, my God!

That's...that's a really nice thing.
Yeah.

(BIRDS CHIRP)

So, you have a limited number of
roses and you've given them all out?

I had 10 to give out
and I've given them out.

You've given them all out? OK.

But I felt more of a connection
with you than anyone else,

and I've broken almost every rule
on this thing so far.

(LAUGHS) Oh, my God!

Am I able to...?

Do you need to get approval from
anyone? Am I able to call Jed?

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

Hi.
WOMAN: Hello.

How are you?
I'm good. How are you?

I'm Jed.
I'm Alicia.

Lovely to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

I love your outfit.
Oh, thank you. I like your outfit.

Thank you. Those boots are sick!

Yeah.

But if I take one off Jed...

JED: Oh. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
ALICIA: Better. (LAUGHS)

ABIGAIL: Is this real?

Oh, my God, Mini, what's happening?
(MINI MEOWS)

(PHONE DIALLING TONE)
(ABIGAIL GASPS)

ALICIA: This is working very well.
(JED LAUGHS)

(ALICIA LAUGHS)

(PHONE NO-RESPONSE TONE)

FELIX: He hasn't answered twice.
Is there anything we can do?

Yeah...

Yeah.

PRODUCER: So...
How long's he got to go?

OK?
Yeah.

I just really...
I genuinely, like, like her.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

Apparently he doesn't have
any roses left

but he wants to give me a rose.

Come on, Jedric!

(PHONE RINGS)
JED: Oh, of course.

Hello, Felix, what do you want?

Get swept away by the latest
can't-miss extras, interviews

(RAIN PATTERS)

(PHONE RINGING TONE)

FELIX: Like, he hasn't answered
twice. Is there anything we can do?

Yeah...

Yeah.

So...
How long's he got to go?

Um...

OK?
Yeah.

I just really...
I genuinely, like, like her.

Apparently, he doesn't have
any roses left

but he wants to give me a rose.

Come on, Jedric.

(PHONE RINGS)

JED: Oh, of course.

Hello, Felix. What do you want?

Jed!

Jed, please.

JED:

(LAUGHS) Please tell me yes!

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Is the question!

Jed, if the bro code
is ever gonna come into play,

it is right now.

Um, this is a big thing for me

but I also know
it's a big thing for you.

Look, Felix, I wanna ask you...

..will you accept my rose?

(LAUGHS)

Yes, Jed, I will accept your rose.

She better be amazing, by the way.
Unbelievable.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC)

Good to go. Done. Got it.

(LAUGHS)

SONG: # The flowers that bloom
in the spring, tra-la

# Breathe promise of merry... #

I'd do it too
but I can't with Mini.

# As we merrily dance
and we sing, tra-la

# We welcome the hope
that they bring, tra-la

# Of a summer of roses and wine... #

Oh, my leaf!

(LAUGHS)

(MINI MEOWS)

Is there another one
for Mini as well?

Yep. Hang on.
(LAUGHS)

Will you both accept this rose?

I'd love to.
(LAUGHS)

Thank you.
Here you go!

Most girls got a rose, but, um...
I got myself a leaf.

See ya!

Bye! (LAUGHS)

# The flowers that bloom
in the spring... #

Do you think he'll bring me a rose
next time we see each other?

'Cause, um, I feel
a bit hard done by.

# Tra, la-la-la, la-la. #

Gosh, this house is incredible.

Look at that face!

Oh, I can't... I can't cope!

I'm gonna say
I'm getting a drink ASAP.

I can't wait.

Ooh, we've got a nipple out.

WOMAN: It's actually insane.

Oh, my God!

Holy cow.
This is so good!

I will strut my stuff
into my new mansion.

Cheers.
Cheers.

First arrivals!

It's brilliant! I'll own this house.

Oh, my God.

This is insane!

Holy shit.

Oh, my God! I'm so ready for this.

Bachelor. Whoo-hoo!

And I'm not worried at all
when it comes to other girls.

What did you do
on the mini-date?

Just went out for drinks. Yeah.
Yeah.

What about you guys?

I... We played cricket.

We had a bit of a little
training session.

So, it was so much fun.

I feel quite safe and comfortable

with where I stand with Felix.

What did you think about him?

Um, he's definitely my type.
Yeah.

Tall, um...

Like, we definitely have
some similar interests.

But of course everyone's gonna want a
piece of him. I want a piece of him.

Oh, my God.
More girls.

(DRAMATIC VERSION
OF BEETHOVEN'S 'FUR ELISE' PLAYS)

Cheers.
Cheers!

Whoa!
Cheers.

Cheers.

Whoo!
Yes, girl!

I'll take four!

Thank you so much.

I really wanna see Felix again.

In mind, I'm not sharing
with the other girls.

I'm not doing it.

What did you do for your mini-date?

We did body painting.
Ooh!

Wow.
Yeah, it was fun.

You get to know each other
real quick!

Real quick! Real quick.

He's already my husband.

Were you naked or...?

Oh, I would have been naked.
(LAUGHS)

Mrs Felix.

There's a gym that way.
Yeah.

Oh, my gosh, guys.

My jaw drops as soon
as I saw the amazing house.

Is anyone else seeing this or...?

Yep!

I feel like this season
is gonna be fresh,

it's gonna be sexy.

Yeah, it's gonna excite
a lot of people.

Yeah! (LAUGHS)
Here's my business card.

Oh, new people!

('FUR ELISE' CONTINUES)

Oh, my (BLEEP) God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Hi! How are you?
My God!

I'm Tash.

When I know what I want -

which I do now,
and that's Jed...

You're so hot.
(LAUGHS)

..just no-one's gonna get in my way.

Like, "Honey, I'm home!
Bitches, you can go now!"

Um...well, I'll probably,
like, make them...

..food and poison them!

(LAUGHS) No, I'm joking!

"Here, I made nice pasta
for you!" No.

So, what did you do
on your date, Emma?

Uh, so, he came over

and I pretended I cooked a meal -

'cause I can't really cook,
so I ordered it.

Nice.

I don't trust these bitches.

So, what did you do?
What did you do?

We got matching tattoos.

Oh, my God!, So you already have
(BLEEP) tattoos of each other?

Matching tattoos.
They have matching tattoos?

They GOT matching tattoos?

They got matching tattoos
on their date.

So, if he ends up with someone else,

there's always a part of you in him.

That's getting tattooed right off.

Oh, my gosh, there's more people.

('FUR ELISE' CONTINUES)

Oh, my God!
How are there more people?

Do you reckon there's
more than 30 girls now?

Seriously!
I'm feeling overwhelmed, hey?

There's people coming
left, right and centre.

Why are there so many girls
for one Bachelor?

I'm just, like,
"What the (BLEEP)'s going on?"

There's about 100 girls in there.
Oh, my God, where am I?

I can't cope.
No, I'm not being funny.

There's not...not needed.
Not that many girls.

We don't need that many.
I think we've got enough!

1,000%.

(LAUGHS) You've put 'em
in there, not me!

Yeah, I reckon... Well, that was
what we were trying to suss out.

What's going on?!

I think there was just
a question mark sign, like, blaring

in everyone's mind.

We were talking
conspiracy theories before,

and, like, we think
there's two Bachelors.

There can't really be three,
but there must be two.

There's a lot of different rumours
flying about.

Are we all, like,
dating the same guy?

Some people think that maybe
there's more than one Bachelor.

Yeah, I am thinking that
there's gotta be more to this.

So, there's another...

Yeah! I just asked her.
Her guy was called Jed.

Who is Jed?!

There's a lot of girls, hey?

There are 24 girls.

This has gotta be a lot.

I still don't know why
there's 500 girls here.

Like, what the hell?

So, who did you go on a date with?

Jed.
Jed?!

Yeah. Who did you go on a date with?

Oh! Oh! OK. OK.

Who did you guys go on a date with?
His name's Felix.

Oh! OK, there's two.

Who's your Bachie?
Oh, Jed.

Oh! OK.

Lo and behold,
some of the girls had been on

the mini-date with Jed.

Oh, you're a Jed girl.

We're Feels.
Got the feels for Feels.

I'd been on a date with Felix,
so it all clicked.

I'm a bit stressed.
Why are you stressed?

We found out Jed's another Bachelor.

Do you think there's more?
Yeah.

Who was your Bachelor?

Pardon? Uh, Thomas.

We have a Thomas! We have a Thomas.

There's three of 'em.
There's three?!

Stop!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

What the (BLEEP) just happened?

Can you believe?!

No way.

The room went silent.

There were girls eyes wide
and mouths open

like those clowns, like...

..at the... (LAUGHS) ..circus!

Oh, my God, I'm actually shaking.

(LAUGHS)

My, like, stomach
fell out of my butt.

I'm gonna have an aneurysm!
What the hell? This is crazy!

Oh, my gosh, like, how many
Bachelors are they bringing out?

Really turning it up this season!
They really are.

My God, this is (BLEEP) wild.

I'm expecting a fourth
Bachelor as well.

Like, what is going on
with this show?

So, pretty much there are

three, four, five, six, seven,
maybe eight Bachelors.

(LAUGHS)

Is that bad? Is that bad?

Crazy!

OSHER: In weeks to come, buckle up...

(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)

..as Felix, Thomas and Jed

are rewriting the rule book...

If you are invited
on this group date,

it means that you will be standing
at the Rose Ceremony tonight.

..as Rose Ceremonies
become an open forum

where everyone has an opinion.

I think that it was
really awful of Tash

to go out of her way to tell Jed.

You weren't even there!
You weren't even there!

Everybody heard it.
Ladies...

Grow up!
..before I see your true colours.

Ladies.
Tash, you're embarrassing yourself.

Wow!

KRYSTAL: I just feel like
there is a storm brewing.

In a season like no other,

where 'single'
is a slippery concept...

She actually has a boyfriend
in the outside world.

She's seeing someone at the moment

in an open relationship.

Oh, wow.
Girls wanting to cross over...

I love a threesome, but I just
don't wanna do it with my wife.

THOMAS: I wasn't expecting to
go into a relationship with a mum.

..and where freedom of choice

is definitely a two-way street.

WOMAN: There are certain qualities
that I desire in a man

which you don't possess.

(ALL GASP)

So, don't spend a rose on me.

I don't think I can accept
the rose from you.

That took real lady balls
and I commend her.

What a woman.

Three times the Bachelors

might mean triple the trouble...

Chaos after chaos after chaos.

I've had enough.

I just feel like you're trying
to create drama right now.

How does someone like that
even (BLEEP) exist?

Why is it always such
a (BLEEP) performance?

Standing next to him,
rubbing her vagina on his knee.

I appreciate that you're back,
but you left.

(SOBS)

(SOBS) Sorry.

Do we have to keep doing this?

But the chance for romance
is more real than ever...

THOMAS: I'm falling for you.

I really wanna pash ya.

You are just an unbelievably
beautiful woman.

WOMAN: Marriage is huge to me.

I want someone to, like,
love me for me.

(WOMAN PURRS)
Was that a little purr?

WOMAN: I've fallen for you so hard.

WOMAN: I am falling in love
with you.

THOMAS: This feels like
beginning of falling in love.

WOMAN: You're imperfectly perfect
as yourself.

JED: Kiss me like you're single.

..raising the stakes for
the ultimate fairytale ending.

I've completely fallen
in love with you.

FELIX: You make me
wanna better myself.

I wanna be with you.
THOMAS: I'm in love with you.

I wanna be your man.
I want you to be...my woman.

BACHELORS: Will you marry me?

Captions by Red Bee Media